230

Teach me
Posted on August 19, 2021 by David M Willis

230 thoughts on “Teach me”

  1. Cmasta1992

    Joe as list bro is tough

    1. King Daniel

      It’s not the first time Sal’s called him that, I believe.

    2. Needfuldoer

      His reputation isn’t exactly going to be quick or easy to live down.

    3. Demoted Oblivious

      But moving from “list-bro” to “Stubble McBeefs”… is that a compliment, or an indictment of how little depth she sees in his character?

      1. Fnord

        At least it’s instantly clear who “Stubble McBeefs” is. “List Bro,” people might have to think about for a minute to figure out.

      2. WikiDreamer

        She basically does it as a coping mechanism: She doesn’t want to learn names so she doesn’t have to worry about getting close enough to get hurt or hurt people whom she sees as better than herself. Classic Hedgehog’s Dilemma.

        1. Demoted Oblivious

          WHAT?! How is Sonic related to any of this?

        2. Doki

          Sonic? Nah.

          Shadow, though…

        3. Spencer

          I found you, faker!

          Faker? That actually hurts, Sonic. For a long time now I’ve suffered from Imposter Syndrome and it’s had a terrible impact on my life. Always trying to prove myself but never being able t-I’LL MAKE YOU EAT THOSE WORDS

        4. Delicious Taffy

          “It would seem that you bongos have come to a standstill in Tarzan’s forest. You have thirteen seconds before the island fucking explodes.”

        5. WikiDreamer

          How ya’ll get Sonic when the Eva Re:Build movies are all available on Amazon Prime RIGHT NOW?!

      3. Moonie

        Yes

    4. Steelbright

      I actually think the fact that Joyce doesn’t think of him that way anymore–and like, it took me a minute to remember him that way, too–says good things. Not like “character arc complete” but good things.

  2. Blibdoolpoolp

    Names are for people who don’t assign nicknames to everyone.

    1. milu

      So, lazy people

    2. CC

      I’ll take nicknames over faceblindness tbh

  3. Sirksome

    Stubbles Mcbeef? We know it’s Joe but we can pretend it’s a new character!

    1. Doctor_Who

      Maybe Beef stopped shaving over the break.

      1. Thag Simmons

        too close to the real name

    2. Leorale

      https://youtu.be/RFHlJ2voJHY

      (Mystery science theatre)

  4. Yumi

    Becky really should know about sitting in chairs improperly.

    1. butts

      hey, she’s still learning this stuff, it’s not like being queer comes with a tutorial

      1. Yumi

        True, you have to put in a special order for that.

      2. Demoted Oblivious

        woah, woah WOAH. Now I KNOW you’re lying. If there’s one thing I know for SURE having growed up in tye ’80’s is that there is a Gay Manual™. Any group organized enough to have a Gay Agenda™ surely has a manual!

        1. Some Ed

          Sorry to have to correct you, but it’s a Gay Manuel, and they have a bunch of them actually. It’s just that it’s difficult to read them, and there’s not enough of them to go around.

        2. Demoted Oblivious

          I *knew* it! Confirmed by a Les[lie] Bean no less! An authoritative source.

    2. Carla's #2 Fan

      She’s a lesbian, not bi! On the other hand, does this mean Sal is bi?

      1. Yumi

        I’ve seen it generalized to the wider queer community, but it does seem like it originated with bi folks, so fair. As for Sal, I’m pretty sure she will remain straight, but if this was foreshadowing of self-discovery on her part, that would be pretty hilarious.

        1. Wizard

          Bi people can’t sit on chairs properly? I must not have gotten that memo.

        2. Demoted Oblivious

          No no no… it’s not that they _can’t_. It’s a super power. The ability to sit improperly on a chair is a distinctive power, beyond the reach of standard straights. A few straights can acquire the ability if they move over a bit on the Kinsey scale. As a feat, it may also be unlocked by some particular specialization classes.

        3. Librain

          I mean, for me it’s basically a “can’t”. I actually get dizzy if I sit properly in a chair for too long.

      2. Dara

        Gotta be. I mean, she’s got the Improper Sitting thing down. No straight person can sit in chairs like that.

        1. RacingTurtle

          I would counter with William T. Riker, but if they made the show today he would definitely be bi.

          Heh. Biker.

        2. Thag Simmons

          Riker’s unique manner of sitting is in working around a back injury Frakes got while working as a mover, if I recall correctly.

        3. RacingTurtle

          You are correct! (Well, I don’t remember what the job was, but the back injury.) I love that an accommodation for the actor led to a delightful, unique trait for the character.

        4. Demoted Oblivious

          n.b. William T. Riker => Will(Bill) Riker => Bill Riker => Bi (Ri)ker => Biker

          It’s valid. Underlying canon support for theory is confirmed!

        5. Carla's #2 Fan

          I’m pretty sure we can count Riker as bi as is. He flirts with everyone.

      3. Thag Simmons

        Alas, Sal is extremely straight

      4. YggiDee

        ADHD people also can’t sit in chairs correctly

        1. Reltzik

          I think you mean that chairs can’t seat us correctly.

        2. Devin

          We are impervious to chair.

        3. Needfuldoer

          Not for long, anyway.

          (He said, slumped back in a fully reclined office chair.)

        4. Delicious Taffy

          I got the Holy Trinity if chair repulsion: Queer, ADHD, and Autist. Chairs are basically impossible.

        5. Spencer

          I’m bi and have ADHD and would throw myself horizontally onto most chairs if I could.

          So that’s “can’t sit right” to add to “no fashion sense” and “puns.”

        6. Carla's #2 Fan

          Ay! I’m also bi with ADHD! Chairs are the enemy for sure!

  5. Catullus

    Stubble McBeefs and Wonderbread… Sal has turned Danny and Joe from a pair of roommates into a sandwich recipe :b

    1. mrnoidea

      Joyce will be…actually, whatever food she is, it can’t touch the other food. Mac & cheese?

      1. Rognik

        I mean, that’s the ultimate two-foods-touching mix, but it might be one of Joyce’s exceptions. Until you explain it to her.

        1. Rabid Rabbit

          It just occurred to me that this might be the ultimate fault line in Jacob’s prediction that Joyce will eventually end up sucking a billion dicks, however much she might want to. Not to mention sex in general. (Fine, I may be remembering Hannelore from QC’s thoughts on sex when she was first introduced.)

        2. Needfuldoer

          As I understand it, ingredients may be combined into dishes at the time of cooking or assembly, but dishes must not cross-contaminate once served. Mac and cheese is a dish consisting of cheese and macaroni. Once cooked into mac and cheese, they ceased being two ingredients and became one dish. If a pea rolled over into the mac and cheese on her plate, it would have to be separated (back with the other peas), because at that point it’s foreign matter that doesn’t belong there.

          Joyce’s dietary rules are arbitrary but strictly enforced.

        3. thejeff

          I think it’s more arbitrary than that. She doesn’t seem okay with other kinds of dishes with ingredients cooked together. Even to the point of having the sausages picked off the pizza and put on the side.
          I suspect it’s more that mac and cheese gets grandfathered in. She’s had it for so long she thinks of it as one food, while something like pasta in a red sauce is two foods that shouldn’t touch.

        4. BBCC

          I’m very similar to Joyce, food wise, and I can confirm it’s pretty arbitrary. My barometer is ‘will it make me gag involuntarily or not’.

      2. Stephen Bierce

        “Buttered Noodles and Unicorns”
        https://www.dumbingofage.com/2017/comic/book-8/01-face-the-strange/helping/

      3. Steelbright

        Excellent summary of Joyce’s hangups

    2. Reltzik

      Sal actually (sorta) respects Joyce since the first Todadnappening, so she calls Joyce by name.

      …. usually.

      An archive dive shows her most recent nickname for Joyce to be “Polyana”.

      1. Nono

        Wasn’t Polyanna her nickname for Dorothy?

        1. Wagstaff

          Nah, I think it was “Lisa Simpson” or something.

  6. Doctor_Who

    Joyce (pointing at Becky): A test. Who’s that?

    Sal:…Noisy Lesbian?

    Joyce: I’m afraid that’s-

    Becky: ABSOLUTELY CORRECT!

    1. Thag Simmons

      She just called her ‘Red’

      1. Doctor_Who

        People can have two nicknames! She uses two for Joe in this very strip.

    2. Maikeruu

      This needs to be canon.

      1. Demoted Oblivious

        Not just canon, cannon. Noisy Lesbian confirms it with double finger guns!

    3. Plain Marie

      Ha! Excellent!

  7. Citizen Octopus

    I wonder what Sal’s descriptive “nobody knows my name” name would be?

    1. Reltzik

      Used to be “motorcycle girl” (or biker chick or the like). Now…

      …. I think she’s just Nicknamer.

      1. Miri

        “Mysteriously bikeless motorcycle girl”

      2. Needfuldoer

        Well, “bicycle girl” has unfortunate connotations so that’s out…

        1. Delicious Taffy

          What, because women’s fitness is seen as a fad and “lesser”?

        2. Chris (the other one)

          Don’t know if that is a serious question or not, Delicious, but no, not because that. To be a bicycle, to people of (a) certain generation(s), is to be a girl/lady/woman known to be ridden by many many many riders. Not a good thing at all.

        3. Demoted Oblivious

          It was and (sadly) still is regarded that way. The stigma around male studs vs. female sluts is horribly stilted in our culture. I understand what the flawed train of thoughts is that leads to such a conclusion, but I don’t understand how people actually subscribe to that thinking. Lady knows what she likes and goes after it? More power to her.

        4. MrSmith

          Probably a reference to being the town bike that everyone rides

        5. Needfuldoer

          Huh? Since when is women’s fitness a fad?

          It’s a different derogatory phrase, alleging promiscuity. “She’s the village bicycle, everybody gets a ride.”

        6. Delicious Taffy

          Maybe “fad” wasn’t the right word, but I was thinking of something similar to it. As for the actual meaning of “bicycle”… that’s rude.

  8. Diane

    Welp, confirmed it’s the lobby as there’s the “privacy” chairs that don’t really protect privacy, as Sarah has learned.

  9. RassilonTDavros

    Huh, genuinely wasn’t expecting Sal to show up.

    …now that I think about it, I’m not sure why I wasn’t?

    Maybe I’m just really hoping Becky doesn’t tell Sal to try to reach out to her parents while she’s still got them, because it really wouldn’t be good advice in her case

    1. Yumi

      I don’t think Becky would say that. She certainly knows a bit about having a negative relationship with a parent.

    2. Nono

      Sal showed up to Joyce’s party, too. She’s not that aloof, no matter what she says.

    3. milu

      i think she was rather hoping that List Bro would show up with like, whatever, his roommate maybe, although who cares, psh, certainly not her. baka.

  10. Sirksome

    Also there’s two philosophies here.

    1. Learning people’s names establishes that you care enough about them to remember it. Caring isn’t cool.
    2. Giving people nicknames establishes a stronger emotional connection to them than their standard name. Which is pretty cool

    Coolness going both ways on this. It shows what a coolness rookie Joyce is to not understand these concepts.

    1. milu

      yeah, it’s also a going-against-the-grain thing. just remembering people’s names and calling them that is boring and generic. giving them your own unique nicknames shows creativity and independence. you don’t abide by no rules, like “this random word refers to this person”. you play by your own rules.

    2. MrSmith

      3. Giving nick names, especially unwanted ones, can be a form of control, possession and/or bullying especially if the nick name is unflattering

      1. Wagstaff

        Nah, I just don’t see that intention in Sal. As off-putting as it might be sometimes, I think that might just be her way of being “real”.

        1. milu

          for sure. have we seen her keep calling someone a nickname they don’t like?

          there’s this one moment where she’s calling Ethan “Apples to Apples” or “Apples” and he reminds her of who he is (ex-hostage), and she kind of goes pale and says, “that nickname suddenly feels inappropriate” or something. but that’s an extreme situation.

        2. MrSmith

          Maybe not Sal but Becky certainly likes to give people nick names as well

        3. Chris (the other one)

          I agree. If Sal were to do that, she’d already be calling Malaya something very put-down-ishy. Instead, I here the Muuuuuuuhlaya every time Sal calls her by name.

    3. Deanatay

      For example:

      S-word
      QuarterRest
      GenericGuy
      Warizona

  11. Thag Simmons

    Sal knows at least the first names of Carla and Malaya

    So at she knows at least two of her dorm-mates names

    1. thejeff

      She knows most of their names. Certainly Danny’s. This is just something she does.
      Interestingly, Walky does it too, though not as often.

      1. Clif

        It’s the Duke of Thingly that does it. You can’t blame Walky.

  12. Wagstaff

    *plays “Ghosts” by Ladytron on Voxola PR-76*

  13. Proto_Eevee

    The Dark Side of the Force is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be unnatural. This includes sitting on chairs the cool way

  14. DailyBrad

    Hehe, I love that Sal is most interested in whether or not Danny shows up, the one person Joyce would pretend to not know the name of. There’s an irony in that.

    1. Needfuldoer

      Not necessarily “pretend”.

      https://www.dumbingofage.com/2019/comic/book-9-comic/02-but-the-sun-still-shines/guys-2/

      https://www.dumbingofage.com/2019/comic/book-9-comic/03-sometimes-the-sky-was-so-far-away/functional/

      Walkyverse Joyce was the one who fought with Sal over Danny. To Dumbiverse Joyce he’s just a question mark with a hat floating above it.

      1. Segnosaur

        I do have to wonder why Joyce seems to be almost anti-Danny.

        Ok, he’s not exactly her ‘type’ (seeming to go for taller/well-built guys… Ethan, Jacob, probably Joe), so I wouldn’t expect anything romantic. But he’s not a bad person, and he seems to like helping people. So while she wouldn’t be dating him, she could at least remember his name.

        1. brute

          i kinda hope it’s leading to a realization that she objectifies men too, she just doesn’t do it as openly as joe did to women. she came to college looking for a husband immediately and for awhile that was her first thought every time she saw a tall, muscular guy. meanwhile she treats walky like a disease and danny doesn’t exist in her mind and no one ever mentions it :/

        2. Spencer

          She treats Walky like a disease because he constantly talks about his bowel movements around her and thought her frustration needing glasses was the most hilarious thing in the universe.

          And, like, is she supposed to notice Danny? Is the problem that Joyce has a type and Danny isn’t it?

        3. thejeff

          You can interact with people who aren’t your type and even remember their names.
          And unlike Sal, Joyce doesn’t seem to do the “I don’t remember your name” thing with anyone else.

          Partly it’s just Willis playing up Joyce ignoring Danny as a contrast to Roomies.

    2. thejeff

      Yeah, so casual, Sal. “and his roommate?”

  15. Megan Rivera

    “Stubble McBeefs” has a very “The Many Names of David Ryder” feel to it

    BIG MCLARGEHUGE

    1. StClair

      SLAB BULKHEAD

      1. Megan Rivera

        TOUCH RUSTROT

        1. StClair

          TRUNK SLAMCHEST

        2. Keulen

          BLAST HARDCHEESE

        3. Megan Rivera

          THICK MCRUNFAST

    2. Regalli

      I don’t think I have the memory or really the desire to just Space Mutiny Joe for a couple months, but I do admit the thought’s more tempting than it should be.

  16. BlackScarabFilmZ

    Stubbles McBeef sounds like a Dave Ryder name from MST3K

    1. StClair

      “We put our faith in Blast Hardcheese.”

  17. TrueVCU

    “Can’t sit in a chair properly” Sal is bisexual confirmed

    1. Nep

      Hells yes one of us.

    2. Kyrik Michalowski

      As much as I want Sal to be on our team, Willis already confirmed she is straight.

      1. Kyrik Michalowski

        Meant for that to be a reply to Nep.

      2. Imogen

        I think it’s more fair to say Willis had confirmed he has no plans to write her as bi in the comic. But thanks to Death is the Author…

    3. Rabid Rabbit

      OK, I’ll bite. What the hell is this bisexuals can’t sit in a chair thing???

      1. MrSmith

        I’m confused as well. I just assumed it was a young person thing with nice supple spinal cords and supple back bones

      2. Sam

        LGBT+ people and neurodivergent people both tend to overlap in not sitting in chairs the intended way a fair bit. I have a bad back but even I do not sit properly, I almost always sit with my legs crossed. In classrooms I have sat sideways to lean my back against walls (for comfort reasons mainly).

        1. Wagstaff

          Body genetics also plays a role.

          Hopefully you are lucky enough to be born into a body where you can sit the “normal” way without feeling like your bones are scraping against each other. | D D

        2. Sam

          Sure, but if I sit cross-legged on a hard surface, I will lose circulation in one foot which was a common problem when I went to school as a small child and we all did that to save space in the main hall. And if I sit with both legs stretched out on a hard surface, I will lose circulation in the other foot instead. There is also a good chance I’d rather lie down because of pain in my hip these days.

        3. milu

          i mean it’s always just been a standard “rebel” marker, i think?

          when i was in high school there were several flavours of anticonformist chair-users:
          “balancing precariously on back legs, woops guess i can’t take any notes”
          “bunched-up fragile tiny bird person”
          “laidback cross-legged yoga-bodied dreamer (whomst is hot)”
          “one knee up to symbolize refusal to use chairs as intended (yet still be able to write comfortably enough)”

          i would use that last pose every so often when i was going through a rebel phase (and when i remembered that was the phase i was currently going through.)

        4. Steelbright

          Excellent summary. Hee hee. Whomst.
          my only rebellious chair positions were (in chronological order by period) “asleep with face down on math book,” “asleep leaning forward on desk with face hidden by book,” and “asleep sitting straight up in the chair” 😛

        5. milu

          haha credit for that particular mannerism goes entirely to Natalie Wynn =)

        6. Keulen

          I just realized that I sit weird and it’s another of the many signs that I’m probably on the autism spectrum.

      3. egg egg

        It’s very accurate. I sit weirdly often enough that my foot has just given up and is patchy/ashy/dry in the areas I sit on.

      4. Yumi

        It’s also just a meme that some people enjoy.

  18. Kyrik Michalowski

    I’m certain that Sal knows Danny’s name but keeps calling him “Wonderbread” to try and keep her guard up. Which would match her actions earlier with the flowers.

    What do tall think?

    1. Kyrik Michalowski

      You’ll not tall, damn you autocorrect

      1. Rabid Rabbit

        Sal goes for tall, so tall probably wouldn’t like the suggestion that Wonderbread has an in with her.

    2. DailyBrad

      She 1,000 percent knows Danny’s name, she just calls him Wonderbread as a nickname, same with how she called Joyce and Dorothy “Pollyanna and Lisa Simpson” in the past once or twice. Wonderbread just has stuck around longer as what seems to be a term of endearment.

    3. Tan

      Sal absolutely knows Danny’s name. However I would say that Wonderbread is a name of affection rather than one of distance at this point, hence why she initially just referred to him as “and (List Bro’s) roommate”, only swapping to the more familiar name when Joyce needed clarification.

      1. thejeff

        You don’t use “and his roommate” as a term of affection.
        You say that to play down that you’re most interested in whether he’ll be there or not.

        1. Tan

          If you think you are disagreeing with me, I will note that you are not. I’ll rephrase the initial point for clarity:

          ‘Wonderbread’ is a term of affection and the reason that she did not initially use it was so as not to use a term of affection, instead using ‘List Bro’s Roommate’ as a term of distancing.

          If ‘Wonderbread’ were a term of distancing, there would be no reason to avoid it.

    4. powerpowerpow

      I know someone like this in real life who just nicknames everyone they know and sticks with it. Even nicknames that don’t really make sense 4 years later. If they use your real name, you KNOW they’re being serious.
      I’m genuinely curious now as to how many times Sal has ever called any of her friends by their real name.

    5. Spencer

      I mean, I don’t think she’s ever actually said his name. He told her when they first met and he’s been Wonderbread since.

  19. Nayann Martinelli

    Sal is too cool to sit like a regular person or know people’s names, but she is kind enough to show up for the dorks’ party

  20. ReFlex76

    “Ah din’t take that flower ‘cause I like ya!” “Ahm not here ‘cause Ah like ya!” “Ah din’t kiss ya ‘cause Ah like ya!” “Ahm not ripping yer clothes off ‘cause ah like ya!” “Hrmph hrm hmph . . . Ah mean . . . Ahm not suckin’ yer willy ‘cause Ah like you!”

    1. Kyrik Michalowski

      Sal will do everything she can to avoid admitting she likes Danny. Sorta like Meg from Disney’s Hercules.

      1. Wagstaff

        And Danny is supposed to be Hercules!

        But where should his admirable strength lie, if not in muscles?

        1. Thag Simmons

          Well he’s significantly less likely to be driven into a murderous family killing rage by a vengeful god who hates him, which I’m told is a major plus.

          Greek mythology can be fucked up man

        2. Wagstaff

          ALL mythologies can be really fucked up… uh, what are your preferred pronouns?

        3. Thag Simmons

          That’s true, but I think Greek myth can be a little worse than most though in terms of fucked up shit.

        4. Wagstaff

          What about that one Navajo tale, about a giant spider who scared a young boy like that monster from the IT movie?

          What about gatekeeper of the Underworld of Japanese Shinto, who teases children and repeatedly disrupt their progress when they try to move beyond the bounds of the mythical Sanzu River?

          What about Yahweh from Christianity, who controlled the Pharaoh like a puppet so he could torture him and kill all his people? And who threatened child cannibalism as punishment those who dared to pick up sticks on the wrong day of the week?

          And yes, Willis, I know you know about that last part.

        5. Thag Simmons

          The thing for me about Greek myths is that Ancient Greece was really shitty in a lot of ways, even for the time, and I think that bleeds through into the myths themselves.

          I don’t know, it may just be that they’re the ones I’m most familiar with.

        6. Wagstaff

          I mean, animal sacrifice and even war were pretty common values among ancient civilizations, but surely the Greeks didn’t follow so many divine decrees so intense and born out of pure blood-lust?

          If this thread at all inspires you to look more into other mythologies, including Biblical mythology, brace yourself for the latter. It has some of the most messed up things I’ve EVER seen in mythology, to the point to which many of them aren’t even funny.

        7. Rabid Rabbit

          @Wagstaff: What’s not funny about handing your concubine over to be gang-raped and killed, then chopping her body into pieces and sending said pieces to the various tribes of your nation so that they’ll all help you get revenge?

          I mean, it makes me laugh every time.

        8. Wagstaff

          Seriously though?

          If you want something that’s fucked up and actually funny on many levels, may I recommend this?

          https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0tXsBClKqkM

          [WARNING: EXPLICIT CONTENT]

        9. Rabid Rabbit

          @Wagstaff:

          I made it in about 45 seconds before going “What the fuck???” and not caring, sorry. (I mean, I recognize that it’s got something to do with that Spongebob thing, but I think this is honestly the first Spongebob thing I’ve ever seen? I’m terrible, I know.)

        10. Wagstaff

          Was it at least a little funnier than those fucked up mythologies mentioned above?

        11. Delicious Taffy

          Woah, a wild Spingebill reference? Not exactly the sort of shout-out one expects in a place like this. Come to think of it, a lot of YTP shares a sort of loose mythology/canon between creators and even languages. If comic books are the new Greek myths, YouTube Poops may as well be hillbilly folklore.

    2. Swissaboo

      “Sal, do you take this man to be your husband, to live together in holy matrimony, to love him, to honor him, to comfort him, and to keep him in sickness and in health, forsaking all others, for as long as you both shall live?”

      “Yes, but not ’cause ah like him”

  21. ReFlex76

    “Ahm not here ‘cause Ah like you!”

    “Ah didn’t kiss you ‘cause Ah like you!”

    “Ahm not ripping your clothes off ‘cause ah like you!”

    “Hrmph hrm hmph . . . Ah mean . . . Ahm not suckin’ yer willy ‘cause Ah like you!”

  22. BBCC

    Well, yeah, that’s what Sal DOES. She starts off with a nickname until she remembers the real name, at which point, depending how much she likes you – It either becomes more affectionate (see: Wonderbread or her calling Joyce ‘kid’), she switches to the real name (see: Dorothy), or she….calls you names more intently (see: calling Malaya a cum stain).

    1. Sirksome

      Has Sal actually called Malaya a “cum stain”? That kind of doesn’t seem like her style. Like I kind of don’t even expect Malaya to insult Sal like that. Just seems a little crass.

      1. Yumi

        https://www.dumbingofage.com/2015/comic/book-5/03-the-butterflies-fly-away/stain-2/

        1. Sirksome

          Huh. Well I guess she did. I kind of thought that at least they were above petty name calling. Although that moment was a real low point for both of them. Have they actually gotten friendlier with each other over all this time?

        2. Wagstaff

          Regardless, don’t hold your breath.

          If it holds true that

          safer ≠ safe

          →

          friendlier ≠ friendly

        3. Rabid Rabbit

          What’s especially impressive is that she didn’t know Malaya would hear her use that particular term. It’s honestly what she called her in her own mind.

      2. Wagstaff

        Regardless of whether she did, if she did I could see why. Malaya “lent” herself to Joe for the pure sake of Pyrrhic, fleeting social benefit. Considering Sal’s values, she may very well be willing to describe Malaya as a “c*m d*****er”, albeit hopefully only behind her back.

        1. Leorale

          Yikes, even if Sal had been there for that scene, that is WAY more slut-shame-y than I picture Sal would be.
          Malaya didn’t lend herself to anyone. She had sex with Joe, because she thought he was hot and she wanted to. I don’t know what issues you’ve got about it but please don’t get them on Sal.

        2. Wagstaff

          To my knowledge, that low point of name-calling in the comic happened after she performed intimacy with Joe.

          Also, I’ve never seen it myself, but I suspected there was a good reason why the SlipShine featuring this was called “Goddammit, Malaya”.

        3. Thag Simmons

          Nope, the name calling happened before.

        4. Wagstaff

          Oh, but did she perform intimacy with anyone else before the name-calling then?

          If not, there’s a part of me that wants to say that Sal appears really good at predicting people’s actions, but I don’t really know if I should trust it yet…….

        5. Thag Simmons

          Not that we’re aware of, but probably. Doesn’t really matter, it’s still a shitty thing to say about a person

        6. Sirksome

          No. Sal just really doesn’t like Malaya. I’m not even sure how it started. The first appearance together they were already enemies. Also I don’t think Sal calling Malaya a c**stain was some meta prediction of Malaya sleeping with Joe or that it eludes in anyway to Malaya’s sexual expression. I think Sal was just being a jerk. You might be putting to much into an insult.

        7. Wagstaff

          So what, she just used “cum-stain” out of all choices for the purpose of ideomatic swearing?

          Neat! She’s like a rebel new-age Pippi Longstocking!

        8. temperaryobsessor

          My guess is it either started with Malaya being a jerk or Sal being posessiveof her best friend.

        9. MrSmith

          My take is that she used cum-stain as a generic insult not as a descriptive term for her bedroom activities

        10. Wagstaff

          Oh dear, looks like I need to get my categories of swearing sorted out!

        11. thejeff

          @temperaryobsessor: I’d say both. Malaya’s generally a jerk and that would inflame Sal’s problems with anyone else cutting into her relationship with Marcie.
          Especially before she found out Marcie was interested in doodlin’ Malaya, not just wanting another friend.

        12. milu

          The Slipshine does confirm that Malaya fucks Joe mostly to rile people up.
          but it doesn’t support any reading where they’re “lending” themself to Joe. i mean i realize that’s just a manner of speaking, but even so, they’re very much the initiator of the whole thing, and Joe mostly follows their lead. that’s not to say they’re particularly into the sex itself, certainly not for the physical or god forbid emotional pleasure of it.

          there’s a moment when they arrive in Malaya’s room after slowly walking down the corridor in front of everyone, and Malaya says something like “everyone says they don’t care, but of course they do. they always care” and also says, “this is the best part” and Joe’s like “oh, so mission accomplished? we could just hang out for a while if that’s really all you wanted”, and Malaya goes: “no way i’m no fakey” and starts undressing.

          and at the end, Malaya goes, “this was just sex ok? let’s not pretend we wanted anything else.” and from Joe’s POV we see that he‘s thinking of Joyce, and then he says “Goddammit Malaya”. So, if anyone’s feeling a bit used by the end of that tryst, i’d say it’s Joe not Malaya.

          it’s honestly excellent and i encourage you to purchase it, he says after spoiling the whole plot (which is of course why people read the Slipshines) (but seriosly it is part of the appeal tho). Hey Willis, you don’t have a policy against textual description of Slipshine comics do you??

        13. Delicious Taffy

          Don’t worry, I’m pretty sure Willis doesn’t read the comments after the Oreos Incident of 2018.

        14. milu

          Is that a real or a Noodle incident?

        15. Delicious Taffy

          I’m assuming that’s a link to T* Tr***s, unless it’s a collage of all the times “the noodles” gets referenced in Calvin and Hobbes. I used to have a couple of collection books for those stories, as a fun little piece of Trivia. They were probably my intro to comics as a whole, especially Snow Goons. I used to draw my own fan characters by tracing and altering panels.

        16. David M Willis

          I’m okay with textual descriptions, because honestly I’m pretty sure folks pay for, y’know, the pictures. And if it helps someone describe their read on a character to somebody out in the free world, then that’s okay!

        17. thejeff

          Nah, I pay for them for the character development. 🙂

  23. mrnoidea

    Becky: “OH you mean the one with the sunglasses and the spiky hairdo from the early 2000’s?”

    Sal: “No that guy’s just ‘Beef.'”

    1. Needfuldoer

      Jennifer and Asher arrive. (Joyce invited her, he tagged along to be supportive.)

      Asher: “I think his name’s actually ‘Steven’, but everyone just calls him ‘Beef’, even his own parents.”
      Jennifer: “Hey, if someone says they want to be called a certain name, you respect that.”
      Sal: “… I wonder if they’re interested in adoptin’ a daughter…”

      1. RassilonTDavros

        Pfft

  24. Yotomoe

    Characters that don’t know other character’s names is one of my favorite trait. Like how Law (and Nico Robin) always just called people by their physical appearances. Or how Goofball from Braindump just calls Max “freak”. I dunno it’s always weirdly endearing even though it’s kinda rude.

    1. Wagstaff

      Doing something like that with a character is a very admirable thing that as far as I know only the best of story artists can ever pull of effectively.

      Like that one big guy (who’s name I can never remember for the life of me), from Guardians of the Galaxy that somehow manages to be crude, but also funny and even admirable at the same time.

  25. Ryek Hvek

    Stubbles McBeef would be a great name for a chain of bad restaurants.

    “Our secret is gristle.”

  26. Regalli

    Honestly I always found Improperly Sitting In Chairs way easier than Properly Sitting (there have been chairs where I actively found sitting on the floor, back pressed against the wall more comfortable, and even in decent ones I fidget and must eventually retreat to a couch or recliner,) but that’s mainly because of the autistic proprioception weirdness and the joint hypermobility/low muscle tone issues.

    So uh. Not the most teachable tips, those.

  27. Plain Marie

    I love everything about this comic!

  28. Josh Spicer

    I thought not sitting in your chair properly was a bi thing, or is it a catch-all LGBTQA+ thing?

    1. Yotomoe

      I just thought it was a cool person thing and there’s just a lotta overlap.

    2. MrSmith

      Its definitely a young person thing (or is it just my back hurting from watching Sal?)

    3. Needfuldoer

      It can go a few ways, including:

      – The “adult trying to be cool by sitting in a chair backwards”
      – The “teenage pretzel inventing new ways to use furniture”
      – The Riker Maneuver

      1. Needfuldoer

        Grumble grumble stupid wordpress html

        https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=lVIGhYMwRgs

  29. Dr. T

    The last time Joyce put together a party list Joe was the only person on the “definitely not invited” list, and that was before everyone found out about the “Do List”.

    1. Thag Simmons

      Eh, she’s been getting along with Joe a lot better since then.

    2. BenRG

      Yes, but, since then, Joe has been doing a lot of growing up and is (although I think that they’d both deny it) has become one of her best friends.

  30. Tan

    Dumbing of Age Book 11: You Don’t Know Anybody’s Names Do You

    I would also accept ‘Dumbing of Age Book 11: Stubble McBeefs Lives With Wonderbread’ but besides not being correct (due to being two sentences in the comic) may wind up with a trademark issue.

    1. Keulen

      Maybe just Stubble McBeefs for a book 11 title.

  31. Bagge

    Sal: Too cool for chairs

    1. Eldritchy

      Sal to chairs: You can’t control me!

  32. Derek

    the page has a very annoying and inappropriate Venus pubic hair razor ad that covers up the comments

    1. BenRG

      Tell Hiveworks (the site admins). they’re responsible for that.

      1. Needfuldoer

        And enable “desktop version” on mobile as a workaround until they fix it.

  33. BenRG

    Joyce is basically telling Sal that she’s trying too hard to be cool and disconnected from the community. It’s the first hint that I think we’ve got that Joyce is growing less and less enamoured of the suit of armour Sal wears.

    Meanwhile, I do get why Sal might be worried about Joe and Danny attending. Not so much Joe but I think that she’s definitely not ready to be in a social situation with Danny.

    1. MrSmith

      And more of Joyces growing maturity, assuming the hero worship lessens, which is a very good thing and proves that Joe is quite perceptive

    2. milu

      oh good point re: Joyce!

      wrt to your 2nd point, i think the opposite, i think Sal showed up to this party hoping to run into this “Wonderbread” person whose actual name she super doesn’t know, ha ha what.

      1. JBento

        So much this. The last panel shifty look and “List bro an’… his roommate.” is “That guy I’m not exposing any vulnerability knowing who they are and this other dude. Y’know, this other dude I don’t care about. Why, I don’t even know him, he’s just “list bro’s roommate”. Pffft, why would I care about him? Jus’ curious.”

        1. thejeff

          Though to be fair, she’s also probably nervous about being with him in this social situation, even as she’s hoping to see him.

          Or am I projecting. 🙂

        2. JBento

          I’d say you’re right. If Danny goes to the party, he’s going to be NICE TO HER. Like, IN FRONT OF OTHER PEOPLE. There might even be STAMMERING.

        3. milu

          and when Joyce reacts only to “List bro” Sal smoothly re-injects Danny into the conversation lol

        4. JBento

          “Sure, sure, but what about this other person, you know, the one I most definitely don’t care about. Also, what does baka mean, and why am I feeling the urge to say it?”

        5. milu

          Amber (walking by): “Baka is an insult for setting someone straight when you believe they’re insinuating that you are romantically interested in someone when not only do you not, but anyone assuming you do is out of line, at least—”
          “oh ok then BAKA”
          “—that’s what the person saying ‘baka’ thinks they are projecting, when everyone else can clearly see that they really do have feelings, because a) no one actually insinuated anything and b) why else would they have the urge to defend themself.”
          “… b…baka”

        6. Spencer

          Everyone complains about the superhero but the actual most unrealistic part of Dumbing of Age is that no one in the main cast watches anime.

        7. David M Willis

          i’ll make mary main cast, just you watch

        8. Sunny

          I think Billifer referenced some anime once. Mary most probably does watch anime and has yet to learn to draw in any other style. Other than that I can’t really think of any character who’s confirmed to have knowledge of anime.

        9. JBento

          Read Willis’s comment and understand this is why YOU LEAVE MONKEY PAWS FUCKING ALONE!

        10. Spencer

          I take it back! I take it back!

          Joyce would love Ouran High School Host Club though.

        11. Wagstaff

          Nah, don’t worry.

          If she were to enter the main cast, Mary would probably become like Vegeta — a former villian who joins the heroes only after a really painful and embarrassing defeat.

        12. Rabisch

          Honestly. I hope Mary becomes one of the main cast since Carla’s humiliating & ridiculous revenge. I need more scenes with her humiliated! Or at least, see her seriously go mad seeing Mamaya get better and better at the art while she feels stuck and unable to evolve. THE HORRIBLE ARTISTIC PAIN!!!!

        13. Delicious Taffy

          Dang, she really does huh. It’s like he’s somehow wormed his way into the front of her mind, today. Wonder(bread) how that happened?

  34. darkoneko

    “That’s because you’re not bi, Red”

  35. Rabisch

    Glad to see Sal at Becky’s mom’s birthday party. It’s a really nice thing to do, it shows what a good person she is and Becky is really happy to see her. Dunno if Sal really has a hard time remembering names, but having this problem too, I’m really sorry if she has it. It’s a constant source of embarrassment and guilt. I can’t figure out if Sal is happy for the possibility to see Danny again soon or not.

    1. Shitbird

      I thinkbso, last strip had her smiling while smelling a flower Wonder Bread gave her

      1. Needfuldoer

        “Gave” nothing, she stole those flowers from him fair and square. That way she doesn’t owe him anything.

    2. thumb

      It could be a memory thing, but I figure it’s more likely she uses it as a way to distance herself from others. Can’t tell me she doesn’t know Wonderbread’s name.

      1. Some Ed

        Of course she knows Wonderbread’s name. I mean, that’s why she calls him that. Now, the name he was born with… why would she even bother with that, she replaced that name. It’s old news.

        1. Delicious Taffy

          This is funny, because it’s exactly how I feel about my birth name. Why bother with it, it’s been replaced.

  36. AbacusWizard

    Please please please please please replace Joe’s name with Stubble McBeefs in all the tags!

    1. AGV

      Seconded

  37. Smooti

    I feel like “Stubble McBeefs” can apply to a couple different characters, Sal. You’ll have to be more specific.

    Wonder Bread, however, can truly only apply to Danny. He embodies it.

  38. Amos Batista

    Sal’s stabbed hand still not full healed. Sad to see the fingers position.
    At least, she is able to play guitar…

    1. milu

      wait is that really what’s happening?
      Willis’s hands just look a bit wonky sometimes

  39. Deanatay

    “Hey, Sammy, How’s it goin’?”

    “Don’t do that, man. It’s Samuel. I don’t go around calling you stuff you don’t like.”

    “I get yer point, but… you never call me by my name. Did you forget it? It’s OK to admit it.”

    “No! No, man, nothing like that. I just… didn’t want to put a label on you. Labels are for squares…. like me!”

    (Points if you know what I’m quoting…)

  40. BenRG

    So, what’s the likelihood that this party will end with lots of unguarded utterances, realisations and various characters feeling really, really awkward with just-realised-crushes for at least a Book?

  41. Deanatay

    Did anyone else catch that Sal’s question in P5 wasn’t really about Joe at all, but an indirect way to ask if Danny was coming?

    “Ah don’ really wanna be here if List Boy is here, but ah suppose if Wonderbread shows ah kin jus’ sit beside him to keep him between me an’ List Boy nah because ah like him or nuthin’…”

  42. bcb

    Joe ALSO has nicknames for a lot of people (like Druggo McStabbed and Red-Headed Math TA who’ll totally bang students). Are Sal and Joe colluding to promote the nickname agenda?

  43. davidbreslin101

    Cool, enigmatic, perches on the backs of chairs… Sal is a Mistborn, confirmed.

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