175

The plural
Posted on January 11, 2013 by David M Willis
I wrote and drew this whole Gender Studies segment that runs this week and into next within a frantic 24-hour period before I left for San Diego for Christmas.  LET'S SEE HOW IT HOLDS UP.

175 thoughts on “The plural”

  1. Xydux

    Threesomes? I’m disappointed in you, Joe. I expected at least a sixsome.

    1. NCP19

      It only BEGINS as a Threesome. Others join in soon after. (Or Joe-In, if you pardon the terrible pun)

    2. sd

      A “Joe threesome” is a party of three standard threesomes. He felt it unnecessary to mention such an obvious thing.

    3. Joe

      Plot twist: At any one moment in time it was a threesome, but it was a rotating cast of six.

    4. fatemaster1

      Threesomes, as in plural, more than one threesome.

  2. SkepticJ

    Wait, that shirt…was Dina part of the…? Nah, that’s crazy talk.

    1. Wonder Wig

      Indeed, it’s near excellent! 🙂

    2. Plasma Mongoose

      It must have been a new experience for Dina, she’s used to digging up bones, not burying them.

      1. Aizat

        You know who else like to bury bones?

        1. Thisguy

          Mike, with your mom, for a nickle.

        2. Kaj

          In the *wait for it*

          FAAAAAAAACE

        3. Josh

          Hitler.

    3. Wack'd

      There is no way in hell a shirt that fits Dina reasonably well would fit Joe just as well.

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        One size fits all /asspull

        1. SkepticJ

          I bet Joe is good at stretching things out.

      2. Yotomoe

        Turns out that Joe and Dina are the same shirt size.

    4. Pie

      My theory is that there’s a hidden vendor selling this particular shirt to all the students. Eventually EVERY character will wear a Dig It shirt.

  3. Wonder Wig

    Wait … isn’t that Dina’s shirt? Did they.. wha.. huh??

    1. SkepticJ

      Our timing is impeccable! 🙂

    2. David

      If it actually was Dina’s shirt, I’m sure it would be cutting off Joe’s circulation.

      1. David Herbert

        So he also enjoys boners?

        1. Yotomoe

          Well, he does get them often.

      2. Tom Speelman

        Whew! Had me worried there. Unless you’re trying to deflect our attention…

      3. Barabajagala

        Well what do you know

      4. someguywithakatana

        Can’t you just let us assume that Joe and Dina did all kinds of the nasty together in peace, Willis? Must you ruin everything with your vaunted “Canon” and “Logic”?

      5. Robert

        If joe can stretch the truth, then I’m reasonably sure he can stretch a shirt no problem.

    3. LWS3

      Wasn’t that a children’s song? “Dinah won’t you blow my horn?”

      1. Kryss LaBryn

        Now I’m picturing Dinah blowing the Horn of Gondor…

      2. molochmachine

        Well, in the song, Dina was being asked to blow their *own* horn… make of that what you will.

  4. Kafloobop

    Was Joyce actually checking to see if her tits were calm?

    1. Mkvenner

      Probably.

      1. Tom Speelman

        How does one check for that?

        1. NCP19

          Carefully.

        2. Plasma Mongoose

          With Jell-O.

        3. Andiemus

          With a seismograph.

        4. Robert

          with two chest pillows and a sympathetic ear.

        5. GrrArg42

          Here, I’ll show you.

          …did I just say that?

        6. fatemaster1

          No, you typed it.

    2. that bard

      Between that and some of the other stuff she’s getting exposed to right now, the current situation probably ranks in the top 5 sanity-testing moments so far this comic.

  5. Plasma Mongoose

    Who was in this threesome?

    1. Xydux

      Mike, your mom, and Joe.

      1. Vabolo

        Also, Everyone.

        1. Xydux

          No, my mom got jiggy with Mike AFTER he finished the threesome.

      2. Plasma Mongoose

        Mike and Joe are into really fat grannys, now that’s a twist

        1. Xydux

          Oh, your mother was twistable, all right.

    2. TheBenenator

      Head Alien, Soggies, and that pet-rifying dog from Persona 3.

      It was totally babies.

    3. Tualha

      Joe, Amber, and Amazi-Girl.

      1. GrrArg42

        Don’t forget spider-car!

        1. Joseph Harner

          That’s what he said. Joe, Amber, and Spider-Car.

  6. David Herbert

    Will we find out who particpated? I’m gonna go with Billie and Ruth, which is why Billie was sleeping in and Ruth is so nice to her.

    1. Lord Nullset

      Thumbs up just for saying something so incredibly hot 😀

      1. Yotomoe

        Read every comment since Billie first interacted with Ruth. You’ll find lots of people enjoy the idea of billie or ruth, or as I like to call it Boozeshipping.

  7. Madock345

    So is Joe here an accurate depiction of how you were feeling while drawing the comic?

  8. Mkvenner

    Yes the American system is a bit schizoid.

  9. Pivitor

    I love Joyce’s expression in the second panel. “Were my tits NOT calm?!”

    1. Xydux

      Why is it that I read that in Starfire’s voice? (Teen Titans, 2004–200something)

      1. Aizat

        Wait, PB has tits?

        1. Xydux

          She’s made of gum. Why wouldn’t she have tits?

        2. NCP19

          Probably look like Hershey’s Kisses.

        3. Xydux

          Oh, the images, the images, the horrible, horrible, awful beautiful images! They make me want to slather myself in butter and oil and butter made of oil and oil made of butter!

        4. AckAckAck

          Ease up on the oils will ya! the janitor complained about extra hours to clean that mess up.

        5. GrrArg42

          It’s also bad for the latex.

        6. Andiemus

          That can’t be good for your complexion.

    2. Doctor_Who

      “Gee, you’re right, lefty’s getting a little excited.”

    3. Wonder Wig

      When tits aren’t calm it means a storm’s a comin’.

    4. Yotomoe

      They were, indeed, excited. While Joyce is very pure and innocent, her tits are quite debaucherous.

      1. CWR

        So they’re like Bill Shatner’s toupee?

  10. KJ

    Joe’s like a foot-plus taller than Dina, right?

    Also, is there any way Joe doesn’t hear that as “hanky-spanky”?

    1. George

      I heard it as “hanky-spanky” and I’m reading this.

      1. Osaru Sensei

        actually I seriously tried to pronounce it as ‘hankies-panky’.

        always comes out as ‘hanky-spanky’. Possibly I’m not laying enough pause at the hyphen.

        1. begbert2

          When I say it, I understate the ‘s’ and emphasize the ‘p’, since they’re not the conjoined sound ‘sp’.

          It doesn’t quite not sound like ‘hanky spanky’, but if you think of it that way is sounds quite odd.

        2. Osaru Sensei

          I guess we need a native-english-speaker to clear up the pronounciation for us 😀

  11. RobHagen

    Very nice.

  12. Plasma Mongoose

    If you old enough to die for your country, you should be able to have a bloody drink.

    1. Xydux

      …if you did that, wouldn’t you die? Of blood loss?

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        Not if it’s someone elses blood. 😀

        1. Xydux

          Why do I have the feeling there’s somebody behind me with a knife and a fresh jug straight from Copperhead Road?

        2. Plasma Mongoose

          Because the plot demands it?

        3. Xydux

          Well, my mind demands that I get fifty million dollars in cash, a tank, a rubber chicken, an albino giraffe, five members of the House of Lords, that Jason guy’s bowtie, that other Jason guy’s hockey mask, that other OTHER Jason guy’s glasses, David Willis’ avatar, a haircut, a hamburger, a cheeseburger (no pickles or onions, bacon on the side), a pickle, some lobster, 12 angry men who have lobsters clamped onto their hineys, Santa’s sleigh, a disco ball, and Johnny Ramone’s guitar.

        4. Originalslugboy

          I’m sorry, all we have is the box of one dozen crazed weasels/

        5. Originalslugboy

          Oy, the typos!!!

        6. CWR

          Only a half-dozen, I’m afraid.

          Got a bit peckish.

        7. Xydux

          Are you from Albequerque, where the air smells like root beer and the towels are oh so fluffy?

        8. Roborat

          Wow, that is one demanding brain.

      2. Anonymous

        Alternative-though-similar answer: “Nope, of iron poisoning.”

  13. MrLShade

    Well…at least Joyce knows one of several common euphemistic names of some of her “girly parts” in this comic, as well :>

  14. bunivasal

    “I don’t care” is the correct answer.

  15. Jon P

    In Monday’s first panel, Joyce realizes that it sounded like she said “hanky-spanky” and blushes even more!

    1. Yotomoe

      In fact she blushes too hard and all her blood gathers up in her head…killing her instantly.

      1. begbert2

        Initiating a seven-month long storyline grieving and confusion and trauma by the rest of the cast as they try to deal with the loss of someone so nearby to them.

        1. Tylertlat

          During which, in normal time, the confused fans also grieve.

        2. Kernanator

          Don’t forget the part where four girls show up, each claiming to be Joyce reborn: A young Joyce clone, a black Joyce, a Joyce energy being, and an evil cyborg Joyce.

          But it turns out they’re all imposters, and the real Joyce shows up alive and well, with hip 90s hair.

  16. Aizat

    And Joe just scored.

    1. Yotomoe

      Joe is perpetually scoring. He’s never not scoring.

      1. Raoullefere

        You forget Joe’s date with Joyce. Unless that counts as scoring with Mike, which I doubt, since there were neither moms nor nickles involved.

        1. Yotomoe

          He was scoring with conquest.

        2. Tylertlat

          Can anyone prove that sex for mike isn’t punching someone in the face?

  17. Kernanator

    I like how Joyce is acting like her breasts were bared, just because he said the word tits.

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      I think she’s trying to stop them jiggling thus ruining any possible fanservice.

      1. Aizat

        Oh god, now you made me imagine Joyce having DOA sized knockers.

        1. Doctor_Who

          The matching acronyms do kinda make me wonder if we’ll ever see the female cast playing volleyball.

        2. Yotomoe

          We had a beach episode, guys. How much fanservice do you NEED!? HOW MUCH DOES IT TAKE TO SUSTAIN YOU!?

        3. Ancestral Hamster

          Hella lots. 😀

        4. Kernanator

          Yesss, feed the fan furnace with fanservice.

        5. Raoullefere

          Oh, c’mon, that beach episode was (checks calendar) Jesus. Forget ‘sustain,’ we’ve already starved to death.

        6. begbert2

          Thank goodness for that brief interlude with pantless Sal, to keep us a breath away from death.

        7. David

          Hmmm.

        8. Kernanator

          One can only hope.

        9. Plasma Mongoose

          Now that’s what I call happy thoughts.

        10. Kernanator

          Now that’s an image that’s going to stick with me for the rest of the night.

        11. CWR

          Joyce already has DOA sized knockers – Dumbing Of Age sized knockers.

        12. Kernanator

          …Well played.

    2. Valdrax

      I assumed it was more the suggestion that they were not “calm.”

  18. licoricepencil

    Aw, poor Joyce.
    And by poor Joyce I mean I would like to exploit her expression in the second panel as a gravatar.

    1. Xydux

      TWO, FOUR, SIX, EIGHT, WHO WILL YOU EX–PLOIT TODAY!–tuh.

      1. Yotomoe

        THIRTY-SIX, FORTY-NINE, SIXTY-FOUR, EIGHTY ONE! WHO WILL FACE EXPLOITATION.

        1. Xydux

          TWELVE, SIXTY, FORTY-NINE, THREE! PICS ONLINE FOR ALL TO SEE!

        2. Andiemus

          Seven, five, and forty one! She’s gone braless, lots of fun!

  19. Wonder Wig

    Would it be hankies-panky as Joyce says or hanky-pankies as I thought it would’ve been.

    1. ASmellyOgre

      The grammarian side of me loves the notion that the noun in “hanky-panky” is “hanky.”

      1. Yotomoe

        Perhaps Hankies-Pankies.

  20. Plasma Mongoose

    I looked back at all the comics that Joe has appeared in DoA and he sure likes his green shirts.

  21. lord of dance

    as a marine, i’ve come to that conclusion that the “old enough to die for your country” line only really works if your in the position to actually die for your country. while i myself have used it, it always seemed to fall flat for a college student who wouldn’t even really be eligible for a draft

    1. Yotomoe

      If it makes you feel any better, there is an alternate Joe who not only fought for his country, but fought for his planet against aliens. At least one Joe fulls those shoes.

    2. Shade

      How about this one then?

      “I’m old enough to marry but not have a glass of champagne at the reception.”

      Fortuneatly I live in Australia where you can serve your country, drink and get married in the same year. Not that i’ve done any of those things though I can.

    3. Animal

      Think of it this way, then: At eighteen, are you and adult, or not? The law is mixed.

      If a twenty-year old isn’t mature enough to drink, why the hell do we let them vote?

      1. begbert2

        We were hoping for at least a couple of years where they don’t come to the voting booth sloshed.

        Obviously, that hasn’t worked out.

    4. Andiemus

      Why? It’s not like the internal logic isn’t consistent. He (presumably) signed his selective service paperwork, meaning he’s old enough to be *legally compelled* to die for his country.

    5. SalmonLeap

      Putting the onus on actually putting oneself in the line of fire isn’t the democratic way to approach it. If you’re eighteen, you can sign a legal contract, you can join the armed forces or be compelled to join the armed forces, you can be tried as an adult for a crime, you can marry, you can vote, you can hold (most) public offices. In America, however, you can’t have a beer?

      Having lived and grown up in places with a sane drinking age (Europe) and an insane one (USA), all the 21 age limit does is make university students more at risk of alcohol poisoning or injury due to the clandestine nature of campus drinking and the relative unpreparedness for alcohol consumption, and it also just ensures that young people will have easier access to illegal drugs than alcohol.

      Make American suburban and urban communities more walkable, and have heavier restrictions on driving. Then lower the drinking age. The only reason it’s 21 at all is that MADD, once they became a neo-prohibitionist group, had Congress compel states under pain of withholding highway funding to maintain a 21 age limit which would magically curb drunk driving.

      1. Tamsen Na

        Let’s just stop drinking altogether!! :DDDDD

      2. Isikyus

        Funnily enough, that’s sort of how it works in Australia. I was legally allowed to drink at eighteen, but I have to go through four successively restricted stages to get a drivers’ licence; if you got your learner license at 16 (the youngest possible), you can drive at 17, but only with restrictions that don’t really lift until you turn 20.

        Not that it really helps — most things in Australia are so far away that “make it more walkable” isn’t an option, and having four stages of licence obviously doesn’t make when you become an adult any clearer.

      3. Doc

        I don’t know. I joined early in the war and you pretty much had to drink to bond. All I saw as a young Ranger was that these guys were trying to get us shitfaced. What I didn’t see until I was an “Old Ranger” was that the older guys designated people and at least one medic to watch the new kids.

        I wasn’t a heavy drinker, but the older guys would control our alcohol intake. It wasn’t until I was a medic that I was tapped for watching the new kids. If they got too fucked up, I’d put them in a chair, they got an IV, and they were watched by sober people with medical training.

        Equating civilian drinking with military drinking isn’t a great idea. In Europe, drinking to the point of being shitfaced is kind of taboo. In the military, we babysit as a matter of course. If you get hurt, we have trained EMTs that can keep you safe if you over indulge.

        On the flip side. My first year in college, I treated three alcohol poisonings in my dorms in my first semester. As a civilian, I don’t have the equipment I do as an army medic. So my treatment is less effective. Hell, a student doing a stomach pump is barely legal. Every time I read of an alcohol related death in my school, it bugs me. I can teach a class on how to fix this. Give me some NS and LR bags and an afternoon with the RAs and I can train those knuckleheads how to save lives.

        If they made medical training better and made different levels of training easily accessible, we’d see fewer alcohol related deaths in college. Hell, we train infantrymen to give IVs. These kids read on an 8th grade level on average.

  22. sandbridgekid

    My wife in college was the Catholic Version of Joyce, and the Virginia, of the Bill Joel song. Her battle plan did not survive contact with the Enemy (Me)!

  23. Aras Pabedinskas

    I love that he is wearing Dina’s shirt. I know it’s not “her” shirt (he would look like a balloon about to burst) but still, I love it.

  24. Alain

    Boyoboy, that place sure is far away from Alberta, Manitoba and Quebec.

  25. Kernanator

    You can almost see her mind about to snap.

  26. Jehosaphat

    Next week on Dumbing of Age. Joyce snaps… Joe’s neck.

  27. AckAckAck

    Once again Joyce’s girl boner is foiled by Joe.

    I decided to pair Joyce with Joe. Because the chaos from that union will be deliciously entertaining.

    1. Eposi

      Chaos? It would rip a hole into the Universe, allowing the SP Universe to cross over.

  28. HEYOUGUYZ!

    hanky-panky (n.)
    also hanky panky, 1841, “trickery,” British slang, possibly a variant of hoky-poky “deception, fraud,” altered from hocus-pocus.

    hocus-pocus
    1620s, Hocas Pocas, common name of a magician or juggler, a sham-Latin invocation used in tricks, probably based on a perversion of the sacramental blessing from the Mass, Hoc est corpus meum “This is my body.” The first to make this speculation on its origin apparently was English prelate John Tillotson (1630-1694).

    hankies panky :: These are my body… in the Latin

    also juggle (jug)

  29. RickZarber

    I can’t decide what I like more about panel 2: Joyce, or Willis finally calling bullshit on that same line from when it was used in Roomies! 😛

  30. ADHadh

    Joyce is awesome in today’s strip 😀

    1. Jackson

      Joyce ensuring calmness of her tits: comedy gold
      Joyce pluralizing “premarital hanky-panky”: comedy platinum

  31. Raoullefere

    So a book is unto tits as oil to waters?

    1. begbert2

      A book doesn’t dissolve in tits, so, yes.

  32. Pinja

    Huh, the USA drinking age is not only a ban on selling but also on actually drinking?

    Weird

    Also Joyce is covering her tits because Joe was looking and him bringing them up made her feel self conscious about them.

    1. vlademir1

      Well, the US federal law isn’t a ban on anything per se. It really just provides penalties to states whose laws don’t meet the regulated standards.
      In terms of state laws, 14 states have no prohibition on private consumption, but do on purchase (as do all). 14 states, including Indiana, are absolute bans on consumption. The remainder have various exceptions, such as parental consent/provision/presence and religious consumption. Here in Ohio it’s allowed for medical use, religious use (considering the state’s significant Catholic population, that’s no big surprise), and with parental consent and presence (<a href="http://codes.ohio.gov/orc/4301.69"citing it because I can).

      Looking at the Indiana state laws regarding punishment for class C misdemeanors, which underage consumption qualifies as there, I’d personally not run that risk if I were Joe… up to 60 days in prison, up to a $500 fine and up to 2 years probation on top of a license suspension (specified in the underage drinking part of the law itself).

      1. Josh

        Honestly officer! It was all for God!

      2. begbert2

        I don’t drink, but if I did I would drink religiously.

      3. Andy

        But that’s only if you get caught. And, unless you go out of your way to do something stupid, you probly won’t get caught. So as long as your party isn’t too loud, or you’re not clearly drunk out on the street, you’re probly ok unless someone narcs on you.

  33. LiC

    …The scary thing is I heard guys in High School try to use that exact same excuse.

    1. Pinja

      … Why is that scary?

  34. Bill Murphy

    “Calm your tits” And I let out a sigh of satisfaction. Thank you. 🙂

  35. Animal

    Joe is of course correct.

    Don’t ask me how I know that. I just do.

    1. David

      He’s not correct in Indiana!

      1. begbert2

        Booze can’t facilitate threesomes in Indiana? Who knew!

      2. Zababcd

        http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/National_Minimum_Drinking_Age_Act_of_1984

        Wikipedia agrees that Joe is incorrect in Indiana (and Alabama, Idaho, Kansas, North Carolina, Pennsylvania, and Vermont). Wikipedia has the final say on all matters of law.

  36. Bunk

    The law Joe is referring to is actually true for like, 3/5ths of the states, I think.

    1. Bunk

      By which, I mean, the actual consumption is not illegal, just where you do it and how you do it factor in.

      1. Ivan

        It’s called Illegal Possession by Consumption.

        Nice try though.

        1. Bunk

          Once again it still is different state by state.

  37. Borp

    I love that Joyce seems to jolt in panel 2. It’s like she’s expecting her apparently non-calm tits to leap from her chest and voraciously savage Joe, and the only way she can hold them back is to push them down with her book.

    1. Yotomoe

      The darker side of Joyce’s tits. And an Ironic end for Joe.

  38. averagelongjohns

    Then move to Canada, where you can do both. Cheers Joe,

    1. DaJoshMaster

      Or like… anywhere but the US. 😛

  39. Bill M.

    Joyce, it’s premarital hanky-pankies! Premarital hankies-panky gets misheard as Premarital hanky-spanky.

    1. begbert2

      Premarital hankie-pankies is when the act is done plural times. Premarital hankies-panky is multiple participants. And premarital hankies-pankies is an outright orgy.

      1. Jess

        Can I just ask who Hank is?

  40. Ryan Balis

    so long have I waited for this to happen in DA
    PREMARITAL HANKY PANKY!

  41. JA

    Joyce’s face in panel 2…lol

  42. Vree

    SUPER SECRET INSIDE INFO:

    This scene was actually unscripted. Joyce messed up her line, and rather than having to draw her speech bubble again, David told Joe to say something about threesomes in the background.

  43. Segus

    Anyone else notice Joe’s hair hard-on in panel 5?

  44. Joel Rice

    Man I wish Willis would sell a T-shirt saying “calm your tits” with some appropriate illustration accompanying it.

  45. Aisling

    Actually Joe is kinda right, it’s only illegal if he is *caught* drinking.

  46. kay

    Actually, alcohol laws vary from state to state!

    For example, as you can read here – https://alcoholpolicy.niaaa.nih.gov/APIS_State_Profile.html?state=NV – in Nevada, it is illegal to sell alcohol to minors, and it’s illegal for minors to *buy* alcohol, and it’s even illegal to *provide* alcohol (except apparently if you’re the parent/guardian) ….But. In private locations, it’s not actually illegal to *drink* alcohol.

    So if you go to a friends house, and drink – they could get in trouble, but you couldn’t. Unless you’re accused of stealing their drinks, anyhow.

    Interestingly, in Indiana, it’s illegal to drink it, illegal to furnish it to them, and illegal for them to possess it… But. It’s not strictly illegal for them to buy it.

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