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The Whiteboard Dingdong Bandit
Posted on September 13, 2014 by David M Willis

303 thoughts on “The Whiteboard Dingdong Bandit”

  1. Jen Aside

    Whoa, it’s like… NEGA-JOYCE

    1. Jen Aside

      Posi-Joyce: “AHH-ahh-AHHHH, you said ‘ding-dong’! I’m TELLING!”

    2. Shrugs

      Sorrowce

      1. Jen Aside

        Angerce?

        1. Tsa

          MALYCE

        2. AgentKeen

          Quick, someone make fragmented Joyce personalities with color-coded sweater vests!

          (Like with Raven in Teen Titans https://31.media.tumblr.com/1a21ebabd1203c89eea9cbc394b083ba/tumblr_mghi8n9PhM1s11rtko1_500.gif )

        3. Jen Aside

          just have Regular Joyce slouch and have goofy eyes and Repressed Joyce have good posture and a permanent angry face

        4. lightsabermario

          It’s already been done! Remember Anti-Joyce?
          http://walkypedia.wikia.com/wiki/Anti-Joyce

          This page in particular did exactly that, but I can’t find the old archive comics, so here’s the transcript: http://www.ohnorobot.com/index.pl?s=pipe+down&Search=Search&comic=181&e=0&n=0&b=0&m=0&d=0&t=0

        5. Marisa Mockery

          I really need to read the comics with Anti-Joyce in them now. She sounds like a much more fun person to be around than Regular Joyce.

        6. Hoboturtle

          I secretly really like Anti Joyce.

        7. David M Willis

          not these days

        8. xKiv

          Goatce?

    3. fogel

      They can go for brunch: French toast with bananas….

    4. Yet_One_More_Idiot

      Perhaps she did the evil deed in her sleep? She’s so repressed it’s coming out as sleepwalking and doodling ding-dongs on doors?

    5. Deanatay

      Because somebody asked for it yesterday….

      DUN DUN DUUUUUUUUUN!

    6. DudeMyDadOwnsADealership

      Well….Somebody’s projecting….

      If Occam’s Razor (i.e It was Mike) doesn’t apply, who could it be?

      Roz lives for this type of cage-raddling, but this just isn’t ‘informed’ enough for her: It’s hands down Beavis-and-Butthead style vandalism!

      Completely off Raidah’s MO. It has nothing to do with shame-storming and trying to control how others think, feel, etc…

      I doubt Billie ever learned to draw anything more detailed than a stick figure even when she had all her brain cells.

      Joe’s too busy womanizing and coming much closer to having a life than someone who’d want to go for this for it to be him…

      This kind of lashing out is too easily seen and heard by people who could actually intervene productively for Sarah, so I doubt it’s her.

      Mary? Why not? Her current efforts to spread her brand of surly around have been dead in the water, so why not try something that isn’t easy to turn the other cheek to?

      Roberta? She likes her street cred. This seems like something she would think would be good for it.

      Sal? Only if she thought it would serve as a diversion for someone worth ending her rebel ass expelled for.

      Marie? I don’t think she even goes to this college, much less lives in this dorm. Even then, it’d sooner be Dorothy.

      Dorothy? Oh hah ha. Not without sleepwalking involved, at least.

      Danny? Not ‘Oh the big, mean real world’s done poor Ol Sweet, Pure and True Goodman Beaver wrong again!’ enough for him. Sorry.

      Walky? Too liable a prank for someone with his degree of sense. Also he was too busy worrying about Billie and Sal to plan for ways to inspire infanticide from his mother.

      Dina? She would’ve told Amber and asked her something about it by now.

      Ethan? He’s not Chozen, and if she decides to get things off his chest, it’ll be a lot less of a Bart Simpson impersonation than this. Unlikely.

      Ruth? Chances are very high…

      Malaya? First she’d have to break and enter the University she didn’t get into in the first place. Actually, scratch that, she have to have an idea that Amazigirl was from that very University in the first place to have any reason to care!

      Sydney Yus? Wouldn’t a more supervillain-y type of caper be a better way to introduce her into DoA?

      1. CleverTrousers

        Wow. That was surprisingly just super-duper mean to Billie.

        1. David M Willis

          well alcohol does destroy them, especially when you’re young

        2. Jared Fedorak

          Actually it doesn’t.

          http://youtu.be/TpgpSIGIczc

        3. fudo81

          +1

        4. OrtyBortorty

          Whee necro-post time! (sorry) From the video: “While [alcohol] may not kill brain cells, it can greatly impair brain function and permanently damage your poor liver.”

        5. Sailor_Arashi

          Necro-Necro-Post! Do note that the word ‘permanently’ was not included until the liver was included. Everyone knows that alcohol can greatly impair brain function. That’s called “being drunk”. The effects on the brain itself are all reversible.

          Weirdly, once you reach a certain point (which Billie and Ruth have apparently reached at an absurdly young age) cessation of drinking is more immediately dangerous than continuing to drink. The DTs can kill you, and if you have withdrawal symptoms from alcohol you need to take another drink and seek medical assistance before quitting.

        6. DudeMyDadOwnsADealership

          In a figurative sense. Especially when your alcoholism never really ended. Most all of Billie’s off-beat, one-note antics in non-party scene environments just scream side-effects of too damn much krunkedness for too long, and she just got out of high school!
          I think Lynyrd Skynyrd had a song called ‘Prince Charming’ or something like that, that Billie should hear…If she goes back to letting the Homer Simpson sauce control her, that is.

  2. Camachri

    “And I would’ve gotten away with it, if it weren’t for those diddling kids!”

    1. Jen Aside

      “…and their dong!”

      1. AeroQC

        something you can
        Do
        Online
        Now
        Guys?

  3. Gigafreak

    Of course it was.

  4. ookyspookyman

    what

    1. Leonou

      Gasp !

    2. Deanatay

      Go look at comments section from the last week, this has been speculated to death.

  5. Silentknyght

    What’s with the dashes underneath the window? Totally distracting.

    1. tbf

      Hovertext in the comments

      1. TheStranger

        nah, Silentknyght means in the comic.

        if you look under the window there’s vertical hash marks.

        My guess is that’s meant to be the AC unit but who knows.

        1. LiaHansen

          It’s actually a barcode. If you scan it, you’ll find out who the REAL bandit was! (Joyce, it was Joyce).

        2. Jen Aside

          If you scan it, it for real goes here

        3. LiaHansen

          It’s amazing how my brain always seems to figure it out just a millisecond too late to stop my hand.

        4. Jen Aside

          I couldn’t think of anything better–I mean Willis snuck it into HIS WEDDING

        5. Reece crump

          Blast from the past, man. We should bring it back!

        6. Maveric1984

          The ad before the video spoiled the surprise for me.

    2. TheStranger

      that’s probably the AC unit or something

      1. AgentKeen

        Or heating unit (or combo). It’s pretty common for buildings with multiple small rooms like that (or hotels/motels) to have single units under windows.

    3. Alden

      Penis tally.

      1. TheZachariah

        I thought penis tally too.

    4. Willoughby Chase

      Heating unit. But why are the curtains suspended in air?

      1. xKiv

        Ask the man behind the curtains.

  6. Kernanator

    *dramatic music sting*

    1. Zach

      Dun-dun-DUNNNN!
      AAH-aah, AAH-aah
      (Krunk, from Emporer’s New Groove)

      1. Mass Confusion

        http://www.dramabutton.com/

  7. Idon'tcarenomore

    I’ll be danged.

    1. Lawzlo

      You’ll be donged! We’ll all be donged!

      1. saltchocolate

        Dingus-donged!

      2. AustKyzor

        You get a dong! And you get a dong! Everybody get’s a dong!

        1. TheSpectre

          Everyone gets a dong, besides those who have a channel.

    2. Deanatay

      Ding-dong danged!

  8. Kris

    Annnd Wow!

  9. LiaHansen

    Aw man. Actually wait I voted for Joyce I just flip flopped around so much last night I wound up not even considering her.

  10. Emperor Kiva

    AMBER YOU’RE AN IDIOT!

    1. Keroshino

      I second this statement!

      1. Emperor Kiva

        Thanks

    2. Pantheon the Mantheon

      No, she’s just emotionally repressed, consistently violent, possibly has dissociative disorder, and is still in what we call the “Post-orgasm clarity” which, despite its name, can sometimes disconnect you from reality and lead to oversight and obscure logic… but im sure none of that is affecting her judgement at ALL.

      1. Emperor Kiva

        http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lr68gh9p4s1r1gmz2o1_500.gif

  11. JebJeb

    Makes sense in hindsight.

    1. Keroshino

      How?

      1. JebJeb

        This is just in my opinion, and I could very well be reading into it completely wrong, but when the dicks were first discovered all over the place, Joyce’s reaction seemed a little over the top like someone did something and is doing the whole “Make a big deal over how wrong this is to keep suspicion off myself” kind of deal. But I could very well be wrong.

        1. Emperor Kiva

          You are wrong. She acted like someone who isn’t use to these things.

      2. MrSirk

        The fact that she’s so sexually repressed is the only reason I can think of. Or maybe she thought if she made a scandal of it no one would do it again and ruin her whiteboard idea. Or the fact that she was the one “Calling for Justice” on the whole thing…Actually those are a few good reasons why it could be her.

        1. Rob Carlson

          I’ve never bought the sexual repression angle, because in my experience that’s just not how kids who grew up in Joyce’s environment act. Totally buy the “calling for justice” angle though. College students pull that dumb garbage all the time.

        2. TSB

          Willis has repeatedly stated that most of Joyce’s character is autobiographical.

        3. Superdud

          Joyce has to be the DD-bandit then! In the future she’ll be an internet pornlord after all.

        4. Seerow

          Which is how we know for sure Sarah is right and Joyce will one day explode and suck like a billion dongs.

        5. Marianne

          Is that what he looks so pleased about in his avatar? A post billionth dong feeling of achievement?

        6. Kerry

          jacob’s the one who said that, actually

        7. Marisa Mockery

          I think the repression came, at least partly, from the rape attempt at the party. She remembers it. She doesn’t want to, but she does. And you can see her reactions to men after it pretty clearly: she doesn’t want to be around guys anymore, but at the same time she does. I’d call that repression XD

      3. ShadowDJ

        payback for the people who did it to her own board. Think about it; she’s repressed sexually, and given how much of an over-reacter she is…it would make somewhat of sense.

        AND there was another guy who pointed it out all of the things.

      4. Gigafreak

        -Joyce is right-handed
        -Joyce is usually an early riser, but woke last on the morning the penises were discovered
        -Joyce witnessed two people drawing penises and one person suggesting it, but didn’t indicate any of them when she called for justice (and in fact acted perhaps too surprised that there could be a penis there at all, despite seeing several drawn onto it just a day prior)
        -Joyce reacted with extraordinary panic when Dorothy came under suspicion, even briefly (because it would mean Dorothy would take the blame for something Joyce herself did)

        1. MrSirk

          Either way I’m expecting a Scooby Dooesque explanation in the next update. Mask reveal and everything. She’ll pull of her mask to re-reveal Joyce’s face again.

        2. Jen Aside

          Meanwhile, as this is taking place, the Whiteboard Vajayjay Bandit strikes

        3. Jen Aside

          fuck, I’ve just spent an hour looking ONCE AGAIN for this one Avalon guest comic Willis did that apparently isn’t in the archive anymore [or, wherever it was if it wasn’t there]

          anyway, that would be awesome if, like, Ninja Rick busts out from behind the couch and throws shurikens at AG in a crazy genre-breaking twist

        4. Gigafreak

          -“So, Amazi-Girl, do you have any cool supervillains?” “Oh, just the goddamned Whiteboard Dingdong Bandit.“

        5. Gigafreak

          Unfortunately I don’t have any eggs in my apartment at the moment because if Joyce was just a massive red herring, I’d be totally willing to eat an egg-related dish to symbolize the figurative egg on my face.

        6. PlainMarie

          I like your analysis, Gigafreak.

      5. Salmo

        I had a theory that I didn’t post, and I turned out to be right, or at least in agreement with Amazi-girl, but now it’s on Patreon, so if I said what I had thought, it would be a spoiler of Amazi-girl’s rationale, so I guess all I’m really saying is everyone should sign on to Willis’s Patreon, it’s hella worth it.

        1. MrSirk

          Is it that Amazi-Girl might be a little biased in accusing Joyce because of what she’s doing with Ethan? Cause that’s a real possibility.

        2. Salmo

          I also have a not-necessarily-disproven theory that there were multiple Whiteboard Dingdong Bandits, one of whom will take the fall while the other(s) get away scot free and burn their trench coat in the basement while their husband sits in Arkham Asylum.

        3. nothri

          I don’t think anyone in this comic is quite that two faced.

        4. Kerry

          I love that I got that even though I avoid everything dc

  12. Idon'tcarenomore

    Or is she?

    1. Leorale

      Amazi-Girl could still be wrong… ::grasps at straws for Team Dina::

      1. saltchocolate

        I’m not sure if it’s Dina. And a lot of the explanations for it being Joyce make sense, so maybe Amazi-girl is right. But I have to say, if it is Joyce, she knows way more about drawing penises than I’d expect from a girl who didn’t recognize a vibrator. Look at the variety of penis shapes and sizes! They look like the work of someone who’s been drawing them for awhile . . .

        1. Incognito Don

          Joyce is at college – I’m sure she’s been able to look up a few things. There’s art books, ya know? But also, there are plenty of people out there who know what a penis looks like but have no clue about vibrators or sex toys. Masturbation isn’t even on their radar. They don’t even think of it as an option.

        2. saltchocolate

          She definitely *could* look them up in art books. You just reminded me of that series of strips from Roomies when she and Joe study art history together—hilarious! (Maybe one of the hardcore commenters can link to it…)

          But the question for me is *would* she. If so, then we’re getting to know something about Joyce that’s barely been hinted as possible, up to this point—which, I suppose, is the point! 😀

        3. Leorale

          Depends how long and hard she searched for the definition of a strap-on.

        4. TFC

          A.k.a me at eleven.

  13. RavensLand

    She’s been sleep-donging!!!!!

  14. Ragnal

    Okay.

    One of you types that have more free time than me to remember every strip in this comic, explain how this was possible.

    1. Bek

      It basically comes down to extreme repression requiring an outlet in order to prevent a total mental breakdown.

      1. Ragnal

        …Anti-Joyce.

        NOW IT MAKES FUCKING SENSE TO ME.

        1. Deanatay

          YES

          I’ve been saying ‘Anti-Joyce’ for weeks now.

      2. Carriethedragon

        I’m willing to bet there’s more evidence than that.

    2. timemonkey

      Joyce is super repressed and has massive issues with sexuality.

      Also this would make for a Dumbiverse version of the Anti-Joyce incident if she did it subconsciously.

      1. Ragnal

        Yeh, it dawned on me after Bek explained it to me. Cleverly done.

    3. HayleyD

      I’m just assuming it was a sleepwalk-driven subconscious need for more dicks in her life.

    4. Echelon Four

      http://www.dumbingofage.com/2014/comic/book-4/04-the-whiteboard-dong-bandit/smokinggun/#comment-274866

      1. Leorale

        Hm, yeah, that is totally plausible.

    5. Mrak

      I figured out the who part yesterday, but then Serpentotia posted this gem of an explanation to my comment and it’s well worth repeating because I think it’s probably spot on.

      She Googled ‘strap-on’, remember? I doubt you can search for something like that and not have pictures of the real thing pop up.

      I am thoroughly convinced it was either Joyce or Ethan. It makes more sense to me for it to be Joyce though, because she’s the one who tries harder to suppress it rather than coming to terms with it.

      My guess? She was probably trying it out on her own whiteboard first, hence why it was the most detailed of the bunch. When she tried to rub it out, she realised she had been using permanent marker. She then panicked and drew on everyone else’s boards too in order to make it less obvious.

      1. Kerry

        actually, mostly just strap-ons come up on google image search
        though some of them are pretty… well, I hesitate to say realistic, but yeah

        1. Mrak

          Huh. So they do. And apparently some strap-ons come with scrotums? Seems kind of… extraneous? (But hey, if it works for you, who am I to judge).
          Joyce also has a ridiculous number of brothers, doesn’t she?

        2. Mal

          It’s for grip.

      2. Ross V

        Marking the first time Joyce tried to rub one out…

      3. Blue

        That comment is what sold me on Joyce as the bandit in the first place. (I voted Mary in the poll.)

  15. Bearfuz

    I swear I was just doing research for an art project… and I ran out of paper…!!

  16. EvergreenFir

    Still banking on Mary…

    1. tinfoil theory

      Mary drew the one on Joyce and Sarah’s door. Joyce drew all the others. Mike supplied the permanent markers. Dina was there the whole time.

      1. Kai

        Yes, of course. Dina didn’t do anything except watching. “Oh, I should’ve told what I saw?”

    2. Kim

      Agreed.

  17. LiaHansen

    Although I would like to see what actual evidence she has other than it making narrative sense.

    1. Gigafreak

      The alt text shares your sentiment

      1. Jen Aside

        *Joyce holds up a card disproving AG*

        AG: …Dang.

        Next comic: Clueing of Age CONTINUES

      2. Kerry

        wait, what does the alt text say?
        I’m on mobile

        1. Kerry

          wait, nvm, answered below

  18. MrSirk

    Then she jumps out the window and the chase is on!

  19. SUGauthor

    Nope. Nope nope nope. No way. I’m still sticking with Dina.

    1. LiaHansen

      In the end, Joyce releasing her repressed dong-itude through whiteboard dingalings is a much more interesting development than Dina being a little scamp.

    2. airyu

      I never even considered Dina… her pricing her point about human stamina by drawing all those ding dongs wood be amazing.

    3. timemonkey

      It would be completely out of character for Dina.

      1. airyu

        Or Dina could think of it add another attempt to fake it and look cool like when she stood with Joyce in the hallway before the lightsaber-vibe incident.

        1. timemonkey

          She only did that because Joyce was doing it. Dina’s never expressed an interest in being cool. She’s trying to improve her social skills but coolness has never been one of her priorities.

      2. 3oranges

        They’re all so monotonously human for it to be Dina. (I know most reptiles and birds only have a cloaca, but there are exceptions.)

    4. Opus the Poet

      This is how Willis is going to introduce Agatha. I knew it was her… because we don’t know anything about her.

  20. MrPotamus

    DUN DUN DAHHH!

  21. Plasma Mongoose

    Did she figure it out for reals or was she danned up?

    1. Keroshino

      I’m going with She Dan’ed it!

    2. Camachri

      Oh no. Our worst fears have come true: Danning up is sexually transmitted.

      1. LiaHansen

        in that case it bears virtually no threat to the population.

        1. Plasma Mongoose

          Unless AG can spread it, it only takes just one successful transmission to start an epidemic.

        2. nothri

          Are you kidding me???

          Ten years from now:

          “Madame President…why did you order a full scale invasion of Canada? By space shuttle, no less. We…don’t even have those anymore.”

          “Wait, what? Oh crap. Umm, I need to make a phone call…”

        3. Nogre

          Since they used protection, it transmitting to Amazi-girl would mean Danning can be transmitted through such protection. Which means Dorothy got it before they broke up and now Walky has it, too. And without any other recourse for protection, this could spread very, very quickly indeed.

          Call the CDC! I think we have the beginnings of a pandemic here!

      2. Jen Aside

        Sexually Transmitted Danning

    3. Kiwi Brony

      You think she’s caught an STD (Sexually Transmitted Danning)?

      1. Jen Aside

        JINX

  22. Loki Kitsune

    I figured it’d be Mary. This is why Agatha Christie never calls me up for story ideas.

    1. timemonkey

      But if it was Mary nobody would care.

    2. HMRC4EVR

      well, if Ms. Christie called you for story ideas I’d be a little worried since she’s passed on.

      Granted I’d ask her a ton of questions before I remembered to freak out, but hey…when you got a shot ask.

      1. JWLM

        Dame Agatha would have taken great glee in finding some way for a leftie to draw the penises back handed.

  23. Plasma Mongoose

    Joyce did get the highest votes so that counts for something.

    1. JWLM

      Willis being Willis, I wouldn’t be surprise if he had a set of different panels for today and tomorrow with different accusations and explanations.

      1. Nogre

        Except such a thing is impractical with his buffer, as he’s stated quite a few times.

    2. Maveric1984

      I’m guessing that a lot of people voted after the answer was revealed in the patreon the other day

  24. arank11

    Say whaaaaaaaaaat?

  25. meghantheworldeater

    At first I was like “Really? I didn’t think she knew Joyce that well.” Then it hit me. “Then party! That fucking party! She was there! The fucking party!” I knew it was only a matter of time before it came back to haunt Joyce in the worst way!

    1. airyu

      But she would have only known Joyce got drugged, not anything else. She knows Joyce from their interaction in the cafeteria too, when Ethan said he was happy with her. (Someone link me please?)

      1. Jen Aside

        Just click on the Joyce tag and page back a bit: http://www.dumbingofage.com/2013/comic/book-4/01-the-only-dope-for-me-is-you/happy/

      2. meghantheworldeater

        Okay valid point.
        The only thing I can think of is maybe it came up while she was being interviewed by Dorothy somehow.
        Other wise… not sure how she could be sure repression was involved.
        Amazi-sense?

  26. Hannah

    😀 YESSSS

  27. Lonas

    I may need to borrow a joke from a different webcomic for this.

    *coughs*

    ahem

    “Derp!Derp!Derp!”

  28. CapedLuigisYoshi

    Knew it.

    …Would help if I had ever mentioned I was expecting it earlier.

    1. AgentKeen

      Fake Deduction Girl!

  29. Rani

    Boom shakalaka

    1. Kryss LaBryn

      That will always mean ‘Babylon 5’ to me. XD

  30. cooldude99

    mike drew on her board in permanent, so she decided to hit everybody else’s board so hers wasn’t the only room with permanent ding dong on it. only she didn’t realise she was doing it in permanent as well

  31. JessWitt

    Oh my, I feel a fainting spell upon me. Curse my delicate constituencies!

    1. Joebo

      I think you might mean “constitution.”

      1. Opus the Poet

        http://www.damnyouautocorrect.com/

      2. JWLM

        No, I think they’re referring to Robin, who definitely has delicate constituencies.

  32. Mr. Random

    But I know the answer!

  33. Raine

    WHAT. DID NOT SEE THAT COMIN

  34. Caravelle

    I’m on my phone but for such a momentous occasion I can’t wait a day to get back on the computer… What does the alt text say?

    1. Sapphire

      okay amazi-girl, now show your work!

    2. meghantheworldeater

      “Okay Amazi-Girl now show your work”

      1. Caravelle

        Hah!
        Thank you to you both 🙂

    3. Disloyal Subject

      Tap the blank space to either side of the navigation buttons and the alt-text will come up for your phone.

      1. MilesDryden

        You, sir, are a gentleman and a friend. I salute you!

  35. Jon P

    Say it ain’t so, Jo!

  36. MightionNY

    I couldn’t possibly have been right. o_O

  37. Rocketboy1313

    Even she thinks she needs a good dicking. To the level that she is drawing dicks everywhere, probably in her sleep.

  38. John Madden

    Well…I didn’t see that coming.

  39. Kennerly

    Helen Keller would have seen this coming.

    1. Kennerly

      Joyce is normally up before almost everyone, but on that day, the dawn of the dongs if you will, she was the last person to leave her room, and her expression was scared.

      http://www.dumbingofage.com/2014/comic/book-4/04-the-whiteboard-dong-bandit/peener/

      1. Nogre

        I think her hair might also be messier than usual in that comic, too.

  40. Whittier

    I knew it. I really should have recorded when I first thought it was her. Damn. I would have had mad cred here.

    1. Jen Aside

      Mad cred for being all “IT WAS ___” and cycling through every name then going back and pointing out only the post where you were correct!

      [on the other hand, showing work in advance helps]

  41. AeroQC

    I was actually guessing Nathan, but okay, I’ll bite.

    1. DSL

      Nathan’s famous for wieners, not peeners. You mean Ethan?

  42. Pink Freud

    HOW DID I NOT SEE THAT COMING OH GOD

  43. Michael Lanting

    It makes sense to accuse Joyce. After all, Joyce was the one who came up with the name “whiteboard ding-dong bandit” begin with. She just wants some recognition for her work, and without her giving the culprit a name Amazi-girl might not even started on her quest to find the bandit.

  44. Yoohoo

    Alright Amazi-Girl, convince me. I reread the entire comic this week, what did I miss??

    The Joyce numbers went up quite a bit during the day, so I wonder if Patreon subs got their hindsight vote on.

  45. Kamino Neko

    ‘What the F-word are you talking about, Amazi-Girl?’

    1. Kai

      Fudge?

  46. Jesse

    Oh, dammit! Joyce was my first guess, but then I thought Ethan would have more motivation. I should have followed my instinct, but now I’ve been wrong about something on the internet! My life is over!

  47. astronomifier

    fuckin called it

  48. Foxhack

    M. Night Shyamalan: What a tweest!

  49. Chaucer59

    Nope. Still can’t see it. Especially bot in permanent marker. Ethan? Yeah. Dina? Perhaps. Joyce? Doesn’t parse.

    1. Kerry

      why on earth would ethan do this

      1. Kennerly

        If it was drawn all over the guys dorm, maybe, but just the girls dorm? No way was it Ethan.

  50. Minty

    After her ‘repressed’ comment, I was SO sure it was going to be Ethan!

    1. timemonkey

      Is he repressing though? He’s pretending to be straight for appearances, but it’s not like he’s denying anything he would have otherwise had, he wasn’t dating dudes before, he’s not dating dudes now.

      1. Minty

        Huuum
        I guess, ya. He was very clear with telling Danny he wasn’t gay, (right?) but he also was completely not into the sex his parents were wanting him to have, and told Joyce No when she wanted to take things further

  51. NinjaNick

    Oh, snap!

  52. Raptorman

    I knew it!

  53. DSL

    Four years of college and never once was I accosted by a masked vigilante. I feel robbed.

  54. Aolbain

    Huh, does Amber even know Joyce?

    1. timemonkey

      Yes, they interacted, however briefly, several times in both her identities.

    2. Disloyal Subject

      Amber knows she’s dating Ethan, and… disapproves.

  55. Pebblerocker

    Suddenly the bandit’s identity is eclipsed in importance by finding out what the heck happened to Becky.

    1. John

      Little do you suspect… these are one and the same question!

  56. newllend

    When did Joyce overlap Ethan in the poll ?

    1. Jen Aside

      prolly after the Patreon Patsies got this strip leaked

  57. Neonix

    I’m not sure Joyce did it. Amber wants it to be Joyce because she made Ethan regress and try to be straight again.

    1. newllend

      It just makes since, this entire Dick on door thing started with her and she didn’t like it because of the sexaul harassment. I think that since she was already on edge with her sexaul frustration from the wet dreams she’s been having and the fantasy running through her mind, its possible that having all thoughts pick being drown on her white board finally made something in her snap and now she’s drawing dicks in her sleep.

      Think about it :http://www.dumbingofage.com/2014/comic/book-4/03-up-all-night-to-get-vengeance/dark-room/

      1. Neonix

        I don’t see how Amber could know any of that, though. All she knows about Joyce is that she’s a conservative Christian who is knowingly dating a gay man.

  58. Kennerly

    Kind of disappointed that Joyce isn’t still just sitting there with Sarah’s jeans on her head.

    1. xKiv

      Turns out, Sarah’s jeans are Joyce’s phone.

  59. JWLM

    I foresee an interesting Biblical moment coming up: Dorothy didn’t out Amber, despite having every reason to do so. We know that Amber can be forgiving when AmaziGirl couldn’t be. Now can AmaziGirl herself be magnanimous?

  60. XMinusOne

    Joyce’s little graffiti spree will peter out now that Amazi-Girl’s tracked her down.

    1. BroodPwning

      Heheheh. Peter out. *hi five*

    2. tinfoil theory

      You should be ashamed of yourself.

      Now that the fishy ding-dong affair has reached its climax, we can withdraw and wash ourselves from this mess, and pray that it didn’t lay the seed for bigger things to come.

  61. TheZachariah

    *gasp*

  62. S'toon

    Oh Amber, you were SO close, and missed. Who is the one who is so repressed she flies into a foul mouthed rage at the drop of a hat, but is ever so much more into Jesus than everyone else?

    She gave herself away by her declaration of piousity in this strip:
    http://www.dumbingofage.com/2014/comic/book-4/04-the-whiteboard-dong-bandit/sterling/

    It’s Mary.

    1. Kryss LaBryn

      Yup; I’m thinking Mary too.

      1. Jen Aside

        She’s just a red herring

        [red marying?]

    2. thebooksluts

      Yeah, but Joyce is the one having all the dreams about sexing up Ethan.

  63. Bibulb

    DONG DONG DONNG!

  64. Ridureyu

    I (and almost everybody else) called it!

  65. Robert

    “Joyce Bown? YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CITY!”

    1. Cybersnark

      But, to honour her friend’s, uh, awareness, Amazi-Girl can’t be the psycho she once was. She must become someone else.

      She must become someTHING else.

  66. Steven

    Well, confronting Joyce with this will probably either jumpstart some more character development from her, or completely cause her to snap and kill everyone. I’m personally betting on the latter, but hey, the betting table is still open.

    1. Opus the Poet

      And it would be something Willis could show without having to put it behind a paywall on another web site…

      1. Sterling

        I could easily see the next Slipshine comic ACTUALLY being “Joyce snaps and sucks like a billion dicks”.

  67. RJ

    Eeeeeh I know I don’t have a cape or anything, but I’m still blaming Mary.

  68. shoeboxjeddy

    Joyce doesn’t have a split personality like some people, Amazi-Girl. *rolls eyes*

    *Amazi-Girl pulls off Joyce’s face to reveal……. Anti-Joyce!*

    Oh… uh… huh. I stand corrected.

  69. zmm

    I can not remember who Becky is right now..

    1. Camachri

      Joyce’s friend from back home. She shows up in the very first comic!

      1. nothri

        I remember her! She talked about poop!

  70. Tom Speelman

    *spittake*

  71. Jim

    What a tweest!

    1. Jen Aside

      Next couple of comics:

      1. Dingdongs are all gone but smell of alcohol
      2. because Ruth and Billie had such a high BAC that mere contact with the whiteboards erased the marker
      2a. [AG can’t convict–*CURSES*]

  72. Archivist

    No Amazi-Girl, this part comes after you take the liberty of gathering everybody in the parlor.

  73. Arkadi

    *Gasp* Impossibru!

  74. avstron

    but she doesn’t know what dongs look like!

    1. tinfoil theory

      They don’t look like light-sabers with nose-picking attachments?

  75. Malchus

    Looks like a standoff will ensue.

    *Cue soundtrack*

    Di-di-di-di… Di-ding-dong.
    Di-di-di-di… Di-ding-dong.

  76. TemplarKnight

    AMBER IS ABUSING HER ROLE AS AMAZI-GIRL TO SHIFT THE BLAME FROM HERSELF!

    1. Emperor Kiva

      Wow that’s better than what I said

  77. CianM1301

    Joyce’s expressionis that of someone who has been caught red-handed and is too terrified to admit it.

  78. Nogre

    I had no clue until yesterday when Amazi-girl bright up the repression thing, but it looks like that guess turned out right. I’m looking forward to seeing how this plays out with Amazi-girl’s explanation and Joyce’s reaction.

  79. Robin

    OKAY SO IT WASN’T ETHAN BUT IT WAS HIS GIRLFRIEND SO I WAS CLOSE

  80. Bill

    Joyce as the Whiteboard Ding-Dong Bandit? No way, Jose.
    Amazi-Girl, how can you be that far off-base and still be in the game?

  81. GUIGUI

    DUN DUN DUUUUN!!!!

  82. Iggzy

    Called it

  83. The Funkalicious Cale Andrew Baird

    Huh. Nope I was wrong, they cut out the middle man. The middle man being Ethan. The Middle Man also being a horrendous euphemism.

  84. Beachfox

    I’m getting reeeeeally worried about Becky. It’s been well over a week since Joyce was able to reach her on the phone. I hope nothing’s happened to her…

    1. Nono

      I’d be more curious why Joyce hasn’t tried to reach her using other forms of social media. Facebook, Twitter, etc. Becky mentions Facebook in the first day and Joyce uses Twitter, so it’s not like there aren’t other avenues.

      1. Nogre

        Even in this modern age, sometimes you really need to make a phone call rather than text/Facebook/etc. Those mediums just don’t always do the trick for really serious conversations, and Joyce has been struggling with a lot of stuff recently.

        I wish she’d open up more to Dorothy or even Sarah, though. I have a feeling another hyper Christian point of view really isn’t what she needs.

        1. timemonkey

          It’s not what she needs but it’s what she wants. She seems to want to contact Becky specifically because people like Dorothy and Sarah won’t give her the answers she wants, the ones that say ‘no, Joyce, you don’t have to learn and accept different viewpoints and lifestyles, you’re already as developed as you need to be’. Joyce has shown repeatedly that she’s afraid of how she’s changing, afraid that she’s finding things she was taught to be scared of and be disgusted by are actually okay and nothing to be worried about. Her entire belief system is being rocked on a daily basis and she’s panicing about it and seeking someone like-minded for comfort.

    2. Potatamoto

      I have a pretty strong feeling Becky may well have lost it in the way that many people assume kids raised in oppressive religious settings will once they get their first taste of freedom.

  85. Pyr05

    Makes sense. She’s been thinking ’bout dongs ALL the time.

  86. Nick Piers

    Dun dun DUNNN!

    Or better yet:

    Ding dong DONNNNG!

  87. Erinaceus

    What.
    Joyce? What motive would she have?

    1. Sir Robin

      I know, I am looking forward to this explanation

  88. bodmans

    so instead of ‘Joyce breaks and sucks a million cocks’ it is ‘Joyce breaks and doodles a million cocks’…

    interesting

  89. Willoughby Chase

    /drum-roll

    DA-DA-DAAAAAAN

  90. Willoughby Chase

    ding-dong ding-dong ding-dong ding-dong diddley-i-o

  91. waterbuffalo

    GASP!

  92. Really?

    I don’t know why everyone believes Amber so much. She’s hardly the most sensible person around, and it would be amazing deductive skills for her to deduce that Joyce is the culprit on such a small lead.

    I’m worried that Amber will press Joyce for any “perverse” habits, and we all know that that’s not going to end well for Joyce. Joyce is struggling with her sexuality, and the smallest things to others likely seem like the biggest things to her. The problem is, Joyce THINKS that these small things are big, so if she fesses up on her “perverse mind,” then Amber might actually end up convincing Joyce that she’s the Ding Dong Bandit, scaring and scarring Joyce in the process. Not only would that be horrible for Joyce, but imagine what that’d also do to Amber if she realized her mistake after.

    It’s just a disaster waiting to happen

    1. Some guy

      More generally, Amber is a disaster waiting to happen. Also, I think I’m going to make it a general rule for life – don’t believe things told to you by someone running around in a mask and cape.

      1. Emperor Kiva

        True

  93. Alschroeder

    Thus was born Amazi-Girl’s arch-enemy, that Queen of Cock Charectatures, that Mistress of the Misdrawn Male Members, that Princess of Penis Pictures, the DONGDOODLER!!!

  94. hof1991

    Still pulling for Mike to have played a role in this. Swapping in non-erasable marker. But I seeem to have been wrong about everything else so I’ll wait to see A-G’s work. Joyce does have the guilty face though.

  95. Raistandantilus

    I figure it’s going to be like (*spoilers* for a 30-year-old movie) the ‘real’ end of the Clue movie, and everyone contributed to the incident in some way.

    1. PWolf

      So you’re saying there are seven dongs? 2+2+2+1?

      1. MilesDryden

        Even of that were true, it would be 1+2+2+2, not 2+2+2+1.

  96. eromer

    YYYYEEEEEEEESSSSS.

    I knew it! (So did 50 bagillion other people on here )

    It makes sense to me though. Joyce probably has never explored sexual things since sexual things were in the category of sin. So she missed that part of development and now her psyche is making up for it in an explosion of exploration. Good for you Joyce.

    Or I might be projecting bc I had to do that later than usual for similar reasons.

    Either way….good for you Joyce. Be who you are in the deep down places!

  97. Ntrovert60

    AG certainly has her issues (and issues about her issues). But while there is a case to be made for Mary as the WBDDB. But Joyce would have wanted to avoid being singled out for attention, and so after the original one went was puts up the others so her door does not stand out anymore. The more she “fits in”, the longer she can support her (externally AND self-imposed) ideas about The Way Things Are. Like in any sort of pack behavior, the more isolated you are, the easier it is to be singled out and picked off.

  98. Sir Robin

    First one person drew a ding dong on someone’s door, then they retaliate on who they thought did it, and so on and so on.

    Then everybody is guilty

  99. Inarx

    Wuuh

  100. 2K

    Oh, a Permanent Marker. I feel good, like if I could… like…If I could…
    TO TAKE THE WORLD!!!

    TAAA TARA TAAA TAAAAAA Biru Biru Baaaaa.

    1. Emperor Kiva

      Not if I have anything to say!
      TAKA TORA BATTA tatoba tatoba ta toba

  101. -JAD-

    Just asking this here, Mr. Willis… you didn’t choose the bandit’s identity based on the poll, right?

    (I must say, I voted for Joyce but seeing this image… no, that’s a mistake)

    Also, that could be an interesting storytelling experiment for some other occasion.

    Thanks for the comics!

    1. Rani

      This comic was drawn many months before the poll.

      Although there is always the possibility that he has multiple different strips with different characters. But Davis has been leaving such a convincing and subtle breadcrumb trail to this point that any other character would be a jarring outcome.

      1. xKiv

        He also put today’s strip on patreon yesterday, (long) before the poll concluded.

  102. Emperor Kiva

    Wait a damn minute, it’s a set up. I’m thinking that little bastard Faz set the whole thing up. To make Amber go after someone so innocent. Forcing a wedge between Joyce and her friends. Let me, lay down what I think happened. Because of what Amber did to his dick dad, he decides to get revenge on her friends. So while everyone’s asleep, Faz breaks in through a window. Draws dicks on all the whiteboards then makes the evidence point to Joyce creating the wedge I mentioned, and begins forcing them apart. While he gets away clean.

    1. Slinx

      And then whispers in Joyce’s ear while she sleeps to make her act really guilty when she wakes up

  103. Maveric1984

    Huh, the ad for Slipshine changed…

  104. sociotard

    Ahhh, she couldn’t stop people from drawing penises on her board, but if everyone has a penis, then hers won’t stand out.

    I didn’t mean that the way it came out.

  105. Nogre

    I wonder what happens next. I mean, there are a few comics we can get out of an explanation, confession, and such, but what does Amazi-girl do with this knowledge? Report Joyce for vandalism or something? Out her as the ding dong bandit to the floor? Hmm… Suddenly I’m worried about Joyce and the consequences here.

    1. Emperor Kiva

      I’m always worried about Joyce.

  106. Tenn

    Yup! To the surprise of absolutely no–

    *reads comments*

    *headdesk*

    1. timemonkey

      And this is after like two weeks where every single update came with comments like ‘I bet it’s Joyce’ and ‘does anyone else think it was Joyce?’, even as soon as yesterday people were acting like Joyce would be a surprising revelation nobody had thought of yet.

      1. Slinx

        This is what happens when many people write comments without reading all the comments. (Not saying this is a necessarily bad thing.)

  107. Tenn

    *raises head again*

    Will Amazi-Girl don a ridiculously waxed mustache and assume an outrageous French Belgian accent when showing her work?

    1. Leorale

      She just had to use her little grey cells.

  108. Alexx

    ZOUNDS!

  109. ajm5007

    http://youtu.be/bW7Op86ox9g

  110. Nena

    That doesn’t make any sense.

  111. Emperor Kiva

    I recall my accusation, Dorothy did it. Never expected it, but I only put it together from tumblr http://dumbingofage.tumblr.com/post/97416014877/preview-panel-from-december-28-2014 the look on her face looks like she’s defending Joyce and saying “I did it, please leave Joyce alone!”

    1. Emperor Kiva

      Not to mention Dorothy was no where when Amber questioned everyone in the dorm area

  112. Gentleman Mummy

    Oh please. Clearly it was Sierra.

  113. Jacob Newburn

    IIIIIIIIIIII… DID NOT!… SEE THAT… COMING! I have not seen through your lies Willis… I HAVE NOT SEEN THROUGH YOUR LIES!!!!!!!!!

  114. Slinx

    *Gasp!* What a twist! I may have been right all along!

    1. Onion

      Ye called it. Maybe.

  115. Emperor Kiva

    Amber is just accusing Joyce because she’s “dating” Ethan.

    1. Kintrex

      She is not “dating” Ethan, no matter how heavy those quotation marks are.

  116. An Average Loser

    . . .

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