171

Toy
Posted on February 29, 2012 by David M Willis

171 thoughts on “Toy”

  1. Kamehapa

    Boy is Joyce in for a surprise, lol.

    1. phildog

      Teeheehee… IT BEGINS!

  2. Henry

    This is called dramatic irony, kiddies.

    1. Zoey

      is……is that a pony

      1. James Rye

        That´s not just ANY pony, Zoey. That is BEST PONY! 😀

        Actually, Twilight is best pony in my book, but since this is about Applejack i gonna let that slide. ^^

        1. Tualha

          Oh dear me no. This is the best pony:

          http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U3qS0odekuU

        2. Raidar

          Giving points to Tualha here. That is one of my favorite videos ever.

        3. Mkvenner

          That is the best pony ever….. of all time.

        4. Panda

          I vote Sodomuffin as the best pony.

        5. AndrewFoose

          No, you were right the first time. Applejack is, indeed, best pony.

        6. Hannover Fist

          Am I the only one who always reads Sal’s lines in Applejack’s voice?

        7. Phillip Wilde

          I read Sal’s lines in Patti Mayonnaise’s voice.

        8. a99steaksauce

          Funny thing, I tended to hear a voice while reading Sal’s line all to similar to Applejack’s before even knowing there was and Applejack. Or that people with a southern accent could distincly sound like that.

        9. tappel

          Incidentally, when I first saw Applejack in MLP:FiM I immediately thought of Sal.

        10. Gallant Nerd

          Her voice in my head is closer to Rogues, lol.

        11. SteveCharb

          Well, I will NOW, dammit!

        12. Osaru Sensei

          Appledash is best pony 😉

        13. Jackson

          Just spent half a minute scouring the comic for a pony.

        14. Hannover Fist

          Run your curser over the trash can in the 3rd panel.

      2. Osaru Sensei

        SOUP’S ON, EVERYPONY!

        1. Colin

          Er… no effect.

      3. Mkvenner

        They all look like glorified glue ingredents to me.

        *Dives behind the bar*

  3. Plasma Mongoose

    You’re thinking of Smithers, Joyce.

    1. lawzlo

      Wait, if she was thinking of Smithers, wouldn’t she have said “Malibu Stacy,” not “Barbie”?

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        Well it has been a long time since I last saw that episode.

  4. Darth Shadow

    For the last time Joyce, they’re not toys, they’re COLLECTIBLE FIGURINES!

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      I thought that only remains true as long as they stay inside the box they came in.

      1. dchorror

        If it stays in the box, you can’t pose it.

        1. Plasma Mongoose

          Oh you’re talking about those models like you see in those hardcore otaku bedrooms.

        2. dchorror

          Don’t know what you’re talking about. I actually pose my action figures(when I still had room for them).

        3. Aizat

          You must be talking about Gunplas.

        4. AndysDrawings

          Otaku is the one with the tentacles, right?

        5. Plasma Mongoose

          Not quite :P, the otaku (at least in western terms) are hardcore anime/manga fans who also collect all the extra merch like figurines, cards and other junk, it’s so expensive you cannot afford to do drugs.

        6. Aizat

          But if it’s out of the box, it will loses its value or so I’ve been told.

        7. dchorror

          If none of them leave the box, the value won’t increase. Ethan’s being considerate of the collectors looking for a payday.

        8. Ancestral Hamster

          Hear hear!

    2. Mkvenner

      Rrrrriiiiigggghhhhtttt and G.I. Joe is an action figure.

  5. Nexev

    Um hello Joyce, Primal is like the barbie of transformers.

    Duh.

  6. Wonder Wig

    I don’t know Joyce he might have other reasons to want to go to church. Jesus is pretty fit

    1. Wonder Wig

      Haha I commented before checking out Shortpacked

    2. Dierna

      Jews don’t believe in Jesus tho.

      1. historyman68

        We believe in him, just not in Him.

      2. Atcote

        I don’t believe in Kratos, Batman or your favourite fictional bad-ass but I still think they’re fit.

        1. Usayasha

          I believe in Batman.
          But I can’t believe that Lady Gaga married him, no matter what she names her albums.

  7. Vivvav

    I smell shenanigans!

    1. mechaqua

      ” I swear to God I’m going to pistol whip the next guy who says, ‘Shenanigans.'”

      1. LauraS

        Shenanigans!

        1. Aizat

          Prepare to be pistol whipped.

      2. Tomas

        “Hey Farva! What’s the name of that restaurant you like with all the goofy shit on the walls and the mozzarella sticks?”

        1. Kikon9

          You mean Shenanigans?

      3. Batman1016

        Hey Farva . . . .

    2. Mkvenner

      Evil shenanigans.

  8. Parismio

    Hey remember the smiley face on the bottom left corner of the page?
    Yeah, course you do.

    1. Layman

      Yeah, what about it?

    2. historyman68

      It’s Stephen Stills!

      1. OhHayMike

        Nope, Chuck Testa.

    3. Tylertlat

      I’ve never seen that before! I feel like I’m part of the club now….

    4. Too paranoid to use my real name

      I think it’s counting pageviews. Now that I know this, I can’t stop thinking about how it just keeps watching me.

  9. Plasma Mongoose

    If Ethan was Japanese, his behaviour might indicate that he is one of those Herbivore men.

    1. Aizat

      Or that creepy middle aged men who’s obsessed with school girls. Don’t ask me how I know these things.

      1. mechaqua

        How do you know these things?

        1. Aizat

          I said don’t ask me.

        2. Jim

          As long as the girls remember where the bathroom is, I kinda like them!

          As for the herbavore, it may finally be time to reconsider Japan!
          It’s like Ball State for guys willing to put up with $10 food on the $1 menu.
          >>>Sōshoku danshi are often given as the primary cause of single women’s woes.

        3. Plasma Mongoose

          If so many Japanese Herivore men are not interested in Japanese women,that means that if you are a gajin (foreigner), you are more likely to score than ever before.

        4. Plasma Mongoose

          You don’t want to know how he knows mechaqua, trust me on this. 😀

        5. Kernanator

          Seriously, he’s pistol whipped people for asking.

      2. Valdrax

        Why would anyone ask how you know about the shallowest, top layer of otaku stereotypes? Dig deeper, and we’ll talk.

        1. Aizat

          What? I thought the shallowest of otaku stereotypes are those twits who send death threats to Hideaki Anno because the ending of NGE and those losers in one of those harem anime.

        2. a99steaksauce

          Happy Days?

        3. Aizat

          Huh?

        4. a99steaksauce

          It’s some graphic novel or other that turned to anime that was a harem genre. Apperently you could die a number of gruesome deaths in the novel and in the anime the guy dies. I thought it might have fit the bill for the second thing you were talking about.

    2. Maycroft

      I’ve always thought he’s more like Korean.

      1. Drunken Nordmann

        Wouldn’t being Korean be Faz’ job?

  10. OhHayMike

    Silly Joyce, it would have been a G.I. Joe with the clothes ripped off…

  11. mechaqua

    Well usually if this were anyone else there would probably be a lot of outrage regarding the comments that Joyce made but i think regular readers are just use to this sort of dialogue coming from Joyce . Of course it doesn’t make right and if Joyce were real we just be enabling her, nut this is just entertaining comic strip so there no need for that. But if your willing and able to explain why Joyce is very very wrong by all means please do so and don’t let my comments stop you. I am going to scream into a pillow for undisclosed reason.

    1. mechaqua

      not sure why i put nut in there.

      1. historyman68

        people usually aren’t.

    2. a99steaksauce

      Well you see, this, to most, is apperently passable. However, as soon as religion comes into play, nine times out of ten it will turn into a flame war with the reasonable and unreasonable. But it’s like one of those games where the winners are those that don’t play.
      Not actually sure if that was all a completely coherent and related thought.

  12. Aizat

    I think Joyce is confusing gay with sissies.

    1. johannhowitzer

      Because the measure of a man is his interests, not his honor or confidence or anything like that.

      1. begbert2

        Well, yeah, obviously.

        Personally I like to entertain the idea that football is a girly-man sport, just because of the entertaining images that brings to mind.

      2. Jim

        You’re measuring it wrong.

        1. Shade

          I think he’s being facetious.

  13. Jimmy

    How long has it been since classes started?

    How many horrible experiences is Joyce going to go through before the semester is over?

    1. Fauxlosopher

      One week, I think. This is the first Sunday.

    2. ryan

      i’d answer the second question, but they haven’t invented that number yet

  14. Romanticide

    Unless that Barbie is the Batgirl one… and that doesn’t have to do anything with his gayness… still so much to learn Joyce XD

  15. Wack'd

    …I’m getting the oddest feeling of déjà vu.

    I mean seriously, Dorothy and Amber are nearly identical physically and Joyce and Robin have similar hair styles. The only difference is Robin’s ignorance is willful whereas Joyce is just naïve.

  16. AliaPie

    Joyce, your sheltered home-schooling is showing!

    1. Mkvenner

      Wait… Were her brothers homeschooled as well?

  17. Tristan J

    I love how Joyce can simultaneously be likable and considerate and horribly, horribly ignorant in the same strip.

    1. f.p.

      I believe that’s the form of ignorance we call “naivete.” This version of Joyce has been an excellent representation of honest, well-meaning conservative Christians in virtually all respects, as opposed to the other kind we usually see (or we get Flanders ). I don’t belong in that category myself, but people like Joyce are far from unusual in real life. It’s been nice to see an example that people from other walks of life can somewhat understand and identity with.

      1. Jim

        >>an excellent representation of honest, well-meaning conservative Christians in virtually all respects

        Which is why that fantasy is part of a comic strip, also defined as fantasy!

        1. f.p.

          Keep in mind that part of her is autobiographical of a stage in the author’s life. I would love to know where the strip is materialising from if Willisisn’t real.

  18. Confuzor

    C’mon, Dorothy, don’t you know ANYTHING!?

  19. DiDi

    Oi… *laughs* It’s funny because it’s so stupid.

  20. Alain

    This is getting to be even more of a riot, from day to day. Talk about a progression in hilarity and foreshadowing!

  21. Fauxlosopher

    Dotty’s gaydar has stolen all the power from Amber’s. She was able to pull a read off of someone else’s second meeting impression.

  22. Kernanator

    Oh Joyce. Your misfortune is our entertainment.

    As an aside; Dorothy know what up. She really is Mirror verse Amber.

    1. Aizat

      Shouldn’t she be evil, what with the Mirror verse and all?

      1. Drunken Nordmann

        She has no goatee therefore she can’t be evil.

        1. Plasma Mongoose

          Unless she shaved her pubes into a goatee… 😛

        2. Drunken Nordmann

          Now you did it. I just sat there for a moment and said: “Was zur Hölle?”

        3. Plasma Mongoose

          Comments like yours makes me all warm inside. >:D

  23. Ter

    I dunno Joyce, I mean. I’m pretty sure I’m a chick and I have a bunch of Power Rangers toys in my room.

    Wait, what point was I trying to make?

    1. Kernanator

      That you’re not a lesbian… I think.

    2. Plasma Mongoose

      You’re PRETTY SURE you’re a chick, so you’re not certain then? :O

  24. Anthrax451

    inb4 gays have ponies

  25. Hans

    I really don’t like this progression. Ethan is going to pretend to like a girl so he’ll feel better? That’s extremely selfish, and it’s putting Joyce in a situation where she might get really hurt

    1. begbert2

      Such is the effect of Mike interacting with the world. He leaves a trail of pain and chaos behind him where’ere he goes.

    2. Shade

      Hence why the closet is not a good thing, it’s just bad for everyone involved.

  26. justafriend

    Joyce, honey, you tire me..

  27. Beachfox

    And he didn’t try to do something about my hair -once-!

  28. Dahlia

    *facepalm* Oh Joyce…you sweet summer child…. -_____-

  29. Kelvin

    Ah, Joyce. Still so naive in the ways of homosexuals like us. XD Maybe Ethan can teach her the joys of yaoi? ;D

  30. Aesir

    Oh Joyce, when will you learn that stereotypes aren’t always true?

    1. johannhowitzer

      In this case it’s even worse than that. It cripples men in the sense that they can’t even look at the doll aisle in a grocery store without feeling embarrassed. I used to be like that, now I’ll even stop and look at the dolls if I see something interesting or unusual. I’ve even seen people call men who have typically feminine interests pedophiles; it’s like these people don’t even have a cortex.

      There doesn’t seem to be a counterpart for women… at worst, if a woman likes masculine things, she’s a “tomboy.”

      1. a99steaksauce

        It’s called misandry and double standards.

        1. Blue

          I’d say it’s more likely a form of misogyny.
          Mainly since a woman/girl likes “crossgender” things, she is becoming more masculine, and society sees masculine as the “good” way to be.
          If a man/boy has crossgender” interests, he is becoming more feminine, which is viewed as a bad thing because society sees female-coded things as overall lesser or inferior to male-coded things. Going from feminine to masculine is a status rise under that, while going from masculine to feminine is a status fall.
          I do see your point in that it disproportionately affects guys, but I don’t think misandry is the root cause.

          And as RWJ said, when gender-nonconforming behavior reaches a certain point, the homophobia (based on stereotypes of sexuality) and transphobia kick in.

        2. a99steaksauce

          Well, I would say that misandry and misogyny go hand in hand. Males are looked down upon when they do anything that breaks the masculine character while women are encouraged to take on what society has deemed masculine roles. While it is encouraged for women to “go it alone” to define their individuality by new age feminist standards and frowned upon otherwise. Men are seen as needing to preserve their masculinity to have any kind of respect (think the term “man up”), but men also must show a kind of subserviance to women. Men are also expected to settle down and are deemed less masculine by new age feminist thought if they do not do so.
          This is all generally speaking of course and I might be off a little. But I have recently been reading articles involving these dilemmas.
          Misogyny does have a role to play in this, but I mentioned the misandry aspect because it is nearly completely overlooked in United States society and some fucked up laws have come about because of it.

        3. a99steaksauce

          I would really like to continue this discussion, though this sight may not be the place to continue since we will move on to related topics of the next comic. I really like seeing other points of view on the subject as to expand my knowledge on the subject. This is because most articles on the subject I have read try to show the misandric side of society, though one of them was very well sourced and helped show me how the misandry also helps to further misogyny.

        4. David

          If only there were a place in this world where dudes could talk unencumbered about how they were wronged.

          Other than, y’know, everywhere, all the time.

        5. a99steaksauce

          ya, I know.

        6. a99steaksauce

          Though I never really talk about being wrong. Just that this subject is largly ignored and tried giving some of the concepts involved that can be swapped almost hand in hand with the other side thats got the spotlight. Both are serious issues.

        7. a99steaksauce

          *wronged*

        8. Blue

          You see, I feel like we’re looking at this from slightly different perspectives. I agree that it leads to a disproportionate effect on the male-assigned-at-birth, which you could arguably call misandry.

          I see the terms as being more about the overall views of society. This is because we see things coded as male as “better” than things coded as female. I don’t see why it can’t be misogyny and still harm the male assigned and identified at all though.

        9. a99steaksauce

          Thank you so much for your response. I see where your coming from and I definitely agree.

      2. Random Webcomics Junkie

        No, at worst, she’s called butch and then a string of homophobic slurs.

  31. TemplarKnight

    “Woulda been a barbie doll”

    THAT’S RACIST!
    wait, no that’s not it. . .THAT’S SEXIST!

    No, not it either. . .what IST is it?

    1. Originalslugboy

      …Toyist?

    2. Aydr

      …homophobic? There, uh, is kind of a word for that kind of prejudice…

      1. g127

        I don’t think it’s the right term; homophobic links to an irrational fear of gay people. Joyce thinks in stupid stereotypes in this strip, but she hardly can be called homophobic.

        1. gangler

          The first definition I ever encountered for that was an irrational fear of people who share your gender. So boys who are afraid of other boys and such. Pretty sure that was an outdated text I was reading though.

        2. Blue

          It’s sort of odd. It’s based on a stereotyped view of sexuality that’s associated with homophobia in general, but I’m not sure what I’d say.

          There’s also the issue of whether homophobia and the related terms are technical phobias, which i’d say they aren’t. Most of the time it’s more associate with a strong dislike/hatred of people/a group because of the characteristic mentioned.

          (technically, homophobia means “fear of the same,” so gangler’s definition seems accurate in that sense)

        3. Aydr

          Homophobia has strayed pretty far from its etymological origin. The proper word here is definitely homophobic, at least as much as if she was saying “girl” instead of “gay” it would be sexist.

    3. Jim

      Plasticist

  32. Cheredarenee

    smh Joyce, bless her heart

  33. nekobawt

    joyce’s gaydar: fully functional, although we’ve got a serious case of operator error here…

  34. LiC

    If Joyce assumed gay guys play with Barbies, what does she assume lesbian play with?

    1. Aizat

      Themselves *hears boos from the crowd*

      1. g127

        Wait: so, heterosexual women don’t play with themselves???

        1. gangler

          Not good God-fearing heterosexual women anyway. Starts with the masterbation, then the premarital hanky panky, and then Bam! Gay! Slippery slope don’tcha know?

        2. Tristan J

          Ah, the ol’ masturbation leading to premarital sex trick.

          Or as they call it in Australia, hanky wanky.

        3. a99steaksauce

          I only heard of the hairy hands and blindness for masterbation.

        4. Drunken Nordmann

          You forgot Tenosynovitis.

        5. a99steaksauce

          Nope, never heard of it.

  35. Faeyas

    I know many straight men who love and obsess over ponies… I don’t think the toy matters.

  36. Jack Faire

    She is just a girl starting to experience the real world who was raised in the sheltered life her parents created where everyone fits certain stereotypes.

    When she says things like this I want to smack her parents.

    1. Tom T.

      I’ll bet we can all still find some stereotypes in our heads if we look hard enough.

  37. Cherry

    Every time I grow to tolerate Joyce, I remember she’s… Joyce.

  38. begbert2

    Wait a minute – Dorothy was going to go back to church with Joyce next week, until Ethan showed up to take her place? Why? Did her promise to go to church with Joyce mean she had to go to church with her forever?

    1. gangler

      It’s basically one of those pacts where you take up the job for eternity until some hapless rube can be tricked into taking your place. Like Finn with the meteor after learning all that magic. Dorothy got lucky. Ethan will be less so.

  39. aaron_bourque

    Wouldn’t it have been a Ken doll?

  40. Arkadi

    Joyce, you need to brush up your gay. Ms Bean would probably be willing to give you some private lessons.

  41. Random Webcomics Junkie

    After I got over Joyce’s should-have-been-expected ignorance, I found myself immediately offended by Dorothy’s assumption that any man who doesn’t leer is gay.

    I’m tired of the widespread belief that no straight guy can have a nonsexual interest in a woman – that we’re either a sexual interest or we don’t register as friends at all.

    I genuinely believe that a heterosexual man can be friends with a female human being without it being about sex at all. Case in point: brothers. But even without the inoculation of growing up in the same family, it’s possible. I have to believe that.

    Why do people insist it’s not?

    1. a99steaksauce

      Cus people started believing the few (and very loud) feminazis that are in no way a representation to true feminist values. That’s what I’ve come to believe anyway.

    2. Arkadi

      Well, gotta give Dorothy some slack. All she knows about Ethan is Joyce’s description, and she probably concludes that “gay” is more likely than “asexual”.

      1. Random Webcomics Junkie

        Why does a guy have to be gay or asexual to not leer at a woman though? That’s what bugs me. A guy can be into ladies and not want to bang everything with a vagina. >.<

        1. Random Webcomics Junkie

          And yes, I am aware of how that sounds coming from my gravatar.

        2. Arkadi

          I don’t know; you probably should ask Dorothy, since she’s the one who obviously assumes so ;3

  42. ShadowofU

    ….you see. It’s things like that, that lead to so many misunderstandings. So many “christians”, and others believe that if you are gay you play with girly stuff. *facepalm* This is why as a christian I would love to hit Joyce slightly on the head. Oh Joyce, so naive, and Dorothy’s look is the same as my own. 😀

  43. chumpersonable

    Nonsense, Joyce.
    Heck, if I’m anything to go by any Barbie doll in my hand would be headless or soon-to-be-headless.

    1. Usayasha

      A Barbie doll in my hand would be a lesbian.
      And I’m a gay guy, so I don’t know what that says about me.
      Lesbians are just nifty.

  44. Uniqueantique

    Is there a full moon tonight?

  45. Rex Hondo

    Slutt, not Munky!!

  46. ConnorElzaim

    As a gay man who…coincidentally played with barbies just as much as legos as a kid…no comment.

  47. Wack'd

    Joyce mentions he seems to have no interest in hanky-panky and Dorothy’s first assumption is “gay” rather than “asexual”. I am disappointed.

  48. newllend

    At this rate, joyce Is better of not dateing tilll she’s 22

  49. SgtNumnum

    FACEPALM!

  50. DarkoNeko

    *snerk*

  51. Onion

    I hope that in gender studies Joyce learns the difference between gay and transgender.

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