155

Trainer
Posted on August 15, 2011 by David M Willis

155 thoughts on “Trainer”

  1. JackNapier

    I smell a new DOA meme…

    1. Canvas Hat

      That needs its femurs to live.

      1. Aizat

        and FAAACCEEEE. Don’t forget the FAAAAACCCCEEE.

        1. Icalasari

          The femurs thirst for FAAAAAAAAACEEEE?

        2. Phillip Wilde

          With their penises.

        3. Muspel

          (and subs)

        4. Fred

          For a nickel.

    2. Tristan J

      WHY WOULD YOU ENCOURAGE THEM

      WHYYY

      1. Lee

        ^ this

      2. David Herbert

        Because it’s fun.

      3. Plasma Mongoose

        Because we all have a bit of troll in us.

        1. dchorror

          Which is why we lose the game.

        2. N0083rP00F

          and it tastes great with just the right amount of Mayo, Ketchup and Relish.

    3. Aisling

      And a chicken

  2. Jen Aside

    Hmm. Now I actually DO want to see Margaret from Dennis the Menace in a fight!

    1. Zuche

      Gina gave her a black eye at least once.

      1. bargamer

        WOO! Fight-fight-fight!

  3. buttsbutts mcgee

    The dramatic irony is so thick you could cut it with a knife.

    1. buttsbutts mcgee

      Also, for an RA, Ruth sure is horrible at resolving her OWH problems peacefully.

      1. Canvas Hat

        OWH?

        1. buttsbutts mcgee

          *own. I AM SO MORTIFIED.

        2. Rognik

          I thought you were taking on Sal’s accent for some reason.

    2. Canvas Hat

      No, it’s too thick for that.

      1. Sarssol

        You could scoop it with a melon baller?

      2. creatorx2

        You’d need several jackhammers and the entire Boston Patriots defensive line to break through the thickness.

  4. addude

    Ruths shirt says death! I want that shirt!

    1. Canvas Hat

      Is that shirt on sale at the store?

    2. dethtoll

      I second this desire!

    3. Wakks

      Beware when metalheads ask you if you listen to the band.

    4. Shade743

      Would an “I HATE PEOPLE” Shirt do? It’s the closest thing I’ve got…

      1. Vabolo

        Avatar bonus!

  5. Plasma Mongoose

    So Tubs is Billie’s new nickname now I take it?

    1. Canvas Hat

      I would like to move closer to that consensus.

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        That might work as a new source of annoyance for Tubbsie for sure.

    2. lawzlo

      Might this nickname be corrupted to “Tubgirl”?

      …

      I apologize.

      1. Aizat

        Hey, that can be a Super Hero name. Just let me check if it’s taken.

        (Goes to Google and check)

        O_O

        1. andrew

          well was it?

        2. Sjosten

          You don’t want to know. Don’t Google it. EVER.

        3. lokitsu

          Always best to turn the safe search on when randomly searching google.

          The more you know…

        4. Plasma Mongoose

          Or in this case, the less you see…

  6. iSaidCandleja-

    This hand of man glows with an awesome power! Its burning grip compels me to defeat you!

    1. NCP19

      I never figured anyone would ever quote G-Gundam on a DOA strip. Another illusion of mine shattered.

      1. Jetstream

        I still say Erupting Burning Finger sounds like an STD.

        1. Plasma Mongoose

          And the lesson is: Always use rubber gloves. 😛

        2. Aizat

          I always thought Erupting Burning Finger sounds like the guys hand on fire.

    2. Aizat

      Ahem,”THIS HANDS OF MINE BURNS WITH AN AWESOME POWER!! IT’S BURNING GRIP TELLS ME TO DEFEAT YOU!! TAKE THIS, MY LOVE, MY SORROW AND ALL OF MY ANGER!! SHINING FINGER!!!!”. That’s how you do it.

      1. Cholma

        All this “burning this” and “burning that” makes me think of Ninja Rick. Maybe he’s a janitor at the school.

      2. Blob Marley

        Except you do it with a cheesy bad Japanese accent, so it sounds more like:
        “MY ROVE, MY ANGERU, AND ARU OV MY SOLLOW! SHININGU FINGERU!!!!!!”
        And then you do the “SHOTGUN!” gesture from Yu-Yu Hakusho.

        I’ve never trolled my local anime con before. Never-ever.

        1. Aizat

          I’ve never been to any convention before. Never-ever.

        2. nothri

          Are you sure that’s not scooby doo’s accent?

        3. Plasma Mongoose

          Scooby-Doo is Japanese? O_O

      3. nothri

        I dunno. That whole spiel just sounds like your flipping someone off in an overly dramatic fashion.

      4. lokitsu

        They’ve got a cream for that now.

  7. Aizat

    How the heck Ruth think she is? Vulcan Raven?

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      Only if Sal gets to be Sniper Wolf.

    2. Valdrax

      What you say!

      1. Aizat

        “The raven on my head, it thirsts for your blood”.

  8. Ridureyu

    Is it time for a rematch?

    Maybe it is!

    1. Aizat

      Ring the damn bell.

  9. Mkvenner

    I’m confused as to what is goin on.

    1. Ridureyu

      Ruth may or may not know what Billie did. Or perhaps not, she might just be in a bad mood because of last night’s drama. Either way, she wants to beat up on Billie a little.

  10. Canvas Hat

    If Ruth kills Billie, does Sal still need to sign the roommate agreement?

    1. Ridureyu

      No, not really. See, Sal doesn’t HAVE to sign anything. Signing the agreement probably won’t end the torment and vandalism, either.

      1. Canvas Hat

        But she promised!

      2. kagato23

        It might. carrot and stick. Ruth probably makes an example out of somebody every new year. So when Billie plays along, it ends, and all see that Ruth is a terrible but fair overlord.

        Perpetuate it, and there’s no reason to do what she wants you to do, cause she’s gonna be a bongo anyway.

  11. Plasma Mongoose

    Watch out, Ruth’s hands are thirsting for necks and other ‘squeezable’ body parts. 😉

    1. Canvas Hat

      And Tubs has lots of those!

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        Ruth likes them with meat on dem bones. 😀

      2. Canvas Hat

        Sqeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeze!

        1. Aizat

          Gahhh! I was imagining Ruth squeezing Billie’s other squeezable part.

        2. Plasma Mongoose

          Achievement Unlocked! 😀

        3. Aizat

          What achievement?

        4. Plasma Mongoose

          Google achievement unlocked meme, that should tell you.

        5. Aizat

          No, I mean what achievement do I unlock?

        6. Plasma Mongoose

          Making you imagine Ruth squeezing Tubs’ other squeezable parts.

      3. Blob Marley

        BUT DOES SHE HAVE CHEST WINDOWS?

        8-F
        (The ASCII face of “DAT ASS”)

    2. SW

      I will not ship Ruth & Billie.
      I will not ship Ruth & Billie.
      I will not… oh, damn.

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        I wonder what kind of ship Ruth & Billie’s ship will be? A battleship maybe?

        1. Canvas Hat

          It depends. What do you do with a drunken sailor?

        2. Plasma Mongoose

          Shave her bush with a rusty razor,
          Shave her bush with a rusty razor,
          Shave her bush with a rusty razor,
          Earl-ly in the morning!

        3. Tristan J

          Name: Tristan J
          Time of death: 2:55pm
          Cause: Choked to death on tea while reading that comment.

        4. Wix

          And yet Tristan’s voice shall never die… Again.

          (If you don’t get the reference you never will.)

        5. Aizat

          If he don’t run with scissors while drunk, he’ll be fine.

        6. Horerczy

          My voice gives me super strength!

        7. nothri

          My hair knows kung fu.

        8. Horerczy

          My hair is considering taking lessons.

        9. eagalian

          This is probably an example of why I’m on facebook too much, but I was definitely looking for a like button for that comment 😀

        10. Aizat

          Shove him overboard.

        11. Plasma Mongoose

          I take it that you never heard of the song ‘What do you do with a drunken sailor?’

        12. Aizat

          Nope.

        13. Animaniac

          Many times… but never THAT verse

        14. Plasma Mongoose

          Originally the verse was ‘Shave his belly’ but my change makes more sense.

    3. Mkvenner

      😀 🙂 😀 🙂 😀 🙂 😀

      😉 😉

  12. RaijinK

    Ruth: Who’s that?

    Billie: My roommate.

    Ruth: Get lost, roommate. I got private business with this one.

    Sal: You mean about the Roommate Agreement? Doesn’t that concern both of us?

    Ruth: No. Now beat it already.

    (Sal leaves)

    Ruth: Now then, where’s that roommate agreement?

    Billie:…I was just going to get it signed. THAT’S why I was with my roommate!

    Ruth: Likely excuse. I’m going to break your thumbs now.

    1. Canvas Hat

      …and beat you with your femurs.

      1. Fred

        … on your FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE.

  13. TyrantisTerror

    The Billy/Sal team up is probably my favorite development in Dumbing of Age so far. I think they’ve got good chemistry together!

    Plus it’s just nice to see things going Billy’s way for once.

    1. MM

      Yeah, my first reaction was “Aww, they’re bonding!”

      1. Tristan J

        My favourite moments in the comic are when characters bond over odd things. It’s so adorable.

    2. Aizat

      I thought things already going Billie’s way when she got her cheerleader’s outfit back and some booze from Ruth.

  14. Steven

    Billie is unbelievably confident now that she has Sal for backup.

  15. SDHero

    Huh, with Sal there I feel almost sorry for Ruth. Almost.

  16. NF

    In the 4th panel, you can see the exact moment that Billie/Sal shipping achieves critical mass.

    With Sal’s batman and Billie’s bongoiness, they could be the Bonnie and Clyde of the dorm. It would be…epic…

    (Yeah, I just used Batman as a lower-case adjective. What ya gonna do ’bout it?)

    1. Anon

      *Le Gasp!*

      Batman, I will avenge you with.. these hands!

  17. DT

    So… what brought this sudden desire to defy Ruth onto Billie? Sal’s presence?

    1. Andy

      Probly the combined facts that she has leverage over Ruth, Ruth no longer has Billie’s stuff, and Billie’s about to get the roommate agreement taken care of.

  18. Blob Marley

    “These hands? They thirst for necks.”
    Totally stolen for my D&D campaign.

  19. Lone Wolf

    I’m going to guess here that Ruth’s pissed off because she woke up, went to go cut a letter off of Billie’s uniform, and found said uniform was no longer in her possession. And that her closet was open. And that some of her booze was missing. And that Billie must be responsible for all three of these things.

    I really do hope this escalates to physical violence again, if only to see if Sal’s presence makes it a more even fight.

    1. Lone Wolf

      And now I’m Walky. WIIGII!

      1. Blob Marley

        But hey, at least Billie’s not in the closet any more!
        (ba dump tisssssss)

  20. Twinsnake

    Good plan actually. Ignoring a blowhard is the best weapon against one.
    But I’m really hoping for Ruth to get beaten up.

  21. Chase

    I’m pretty sure Sal and Billie could destroy Ruth, 2 on 1 like that. I dunno, I just really want to see Ruth get the snot beat out of her because I still say she totally deserves it and needs to be knocked down a peg or twelve. =/

    1. ADHadh

      I’m pretty sure Sal could destroy Ruth all by herself. Without even touching her.
      And I suspect that’s what she’s about to do.

      1. MeHael

        Agreed, and I’m looking forward to it.

  22. Shifty

    Seriously, how has Ruth been able to keep this job for as long as she has? Does she have blackmail material on the Dean or something? Ruth is verbally, mentally and physically abusive towards her charges. How has she not had multiple people report her for her behavior?

    I’m really looking forward to seeing how things go down now that Sal is in the picture.

    1. MrGBH

      Ruth did mention a while ago that the upper-echelons don’t care as long as the dorm stays quiet. And everyone’s been too timid to go against Ruth.
      But that might change now that Sal’s there.

      1. Shifty

        Yeah, but I don’t buy for a second that she could keep EVERYONE from going to the admin or to their parents. Schools are too paranoid of being sued. No matter how quiet Ruth keeps the dorm, the second someone says “she’s been terrorizing us with physical threats” the school usually would investigate.

    2. airfox

      Because she’s not verbally, mentally and physically abusive toward ALL her charges, just some “bad apples.”

      (I actually don’t think that Billie is a “bad apple”)

      -airfox

      1. Shifty

        First day she threatened to physically assault every girl in the room if they didn’t stay out of her way. And since she’s not on screen 24-7, its pretty safe to assume that she’s probably gone after a few other students, just to maintain her alpha level position. She can’t put the fear of Ruth into the entire dorm by targeting only one girl who so far has a very limited circle of friends.

        1. airfox

          I must’ve read another comic, then.

          1st Ruth Appearance: all jovial, and then the femurs line. Follower by a “ta ta!”, so one can interpret the femurs line as a simple joke.

          2nd Ruth Appearance: dragging the roomies that decided to skip the mandatory meeting. Mandatory being a key word there.

          3rd Appearance: confrontation with Billie, who 1: was skipping the mandatory meeting, 2: was very rude when answering a simple question by Ruth.

          4th & 5th Appearances: fight. Entirely provoked by Billie’s rudeness.

          6th Appearance: post-fight. The first time Ruth seems actually threatening … to a bunch of girls, most of whom were skipping the mandatory meeting (save 3 well-behaved individuals).

          7th Appearance: a proper, matter-of-fact introduction. Acknowledges she’s called ‘Ruthless’ by some, while also saying – not threatening – that she’s there to help solve their problems, and that she’ll be available in her room for questions. And then allows 3 questions to close the meeting.

          8th & 9th Appearances: very helpful to Dorothy and her question.

          OMG! What a monster! 😀

          Also, following your train of thought, since we haven’t seen the other girls showing fear to Ruth, it’s pretty safe to assume that she’s probably only gone after Sal and Billie who haven’t turned in their roommate agreement.

          -airfox

  23. Horerczy

    And this is the part where Ruth gets cocky and threatens Sal. Then she loses her femurs.

    1. Kernanator

      Ah, but WHO loses their femurs: Sal? Or Ruth?

  24. Owsla

    All your neck are belong to us!

    … sorry.

    1. nothri

      …are you?

      1. Owsla

        Actually, not in the slightest.

  25. Azukar

    I had a red-headed R.A. in my first year at uni. She was more of the “let’s all drink and forget about work” type than the “HARVEST YOUR FEMURS” type though. Her and Ruth drink about the same amount.

  26. nothri

    Careful Ruth. You may have to take a few levels in badass and put more points into fighting and initimidation before you can match yourself against Sal.

  27. sarpiedon

    Ruth seems to have a personal vendetta out for Billie…
    did her dad have an affair with Billie’s mom or something?

    1. nothri

      The answer to that question depends largely on whether Ruth’s father had a nickel available at the time.

    2. TheRealAllPurposeGuru

      Possibly the sexual tension from the Other Strip Universe has also transferred to this one?

  28. Robert in San Diego

    Dear me.
    1. Ruth has actually snapped. Like she’s figured out Billie’s recovered the uniform and heisted the beers.
    2. No matter how spiky and hardcore an image she presents, Sal is still nonplussed by the immediate presentation of seemingly unmotivated hostility. I’m not sure how anyone could “deescalate” Ruth in the mood she’s in.
    3. Billie finally is getting some reinforcement from a peer that her RA is nuts.AND there’s an offer of a cooperative plan of action! No wonder she’s smiling in the last panel.

    1. Undrave

      Happy Billie is best Billie.

    2. lokitsu

      I had wondered if we were seeing Ruth through Billie’s bias, but nope, it looks like she really is psychotic.

  29. SolegitRR

    I sincerely hope the next page of this comic is just a full page of Sal upercutting Ruth and screaming Shoryuken!

    1. MeHael

      Meh, Sal is too ‘non-conformist’ to scream Shoryuken.

      1. Undrave

        Yeah, she’ll reference Guilty Gear or King of Fighters.

        1. Jackson

          Sal Badguy.

  30. nothri

    I’m gonna guess living in an actual prison cell with actual wardens kind of removes the terror from Ruth’s schtick.

    1. begbert2

      Has she actually been in prison? I thought she just got carted off to catholic school.

      But then again, nuns with rulers and all that.

  31. DeNarr

    Did the link to Shortpacked disappear?

  32. Janette

    And Sal understands why her roommate has been driven to madness.

  33. MrGBH

    I thought it was spelt “Cousin It”.

    1. TheRealAllPurposeGuru

      Nope. It was always “Cousin Itt””. He is Gomez Addams’ cousin.

  34. Zem

    The problem with “who’d win in a fight, Ruth or Sal” is that you’re gonna be disappointed either way. (Truces and draws included.)

    1. vlademir1

      The correct answer to that question is always “the prurient interests of the readers” anyway 😀
      Cat fight and all…

      1. Zem

        Actually, good point. It could work if they are getting separated by others while screaming death threats.

    2. goatman95111

      Actually, there is a better way to resolve the situation… Leave a positive pregnancy test along Ruth’s toiletries in the common women’s bathroom, and let the rumors spread like wildfire.

  35. ArchSchnitz

    I kinda can’t wait for this Ruth to die in a wreck.

  36. herfiststhirstfornecks

    HOW WILL HER FISTS QUENCH THEIR THIRST!!!

  37. Kernanator

    Ruth probably seems a lot less scary when you have friggin’ Batman Sal for backup.

    1. buttsbutts mcgee

      Or when you have pictures of her with beer on a dry campus.

      1. Kernanator

        That too.

  38. Atcote

    Oh, Ruth, I prefer you in the continuity where you are dead.

  39. Kelsey

    This is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.

  40. Maycroft

    …And femurs

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