256

Trash
Posted on September 28, 2016 by David M Willis

256 thoughts on “Trash”

  1. Doctor_Who

    Good interactions, Dorothy. Your letter to Princess Celestia will turn out nicely this week.

    1. CaptainBatson

      Oh, golly, can you imagine if there was a week when she didn’t have anything to write a letter about? Why, she might go insane!

      1. Disloyal Subject

        So long as she isn’t…
        TARDY!

      2. brionl

        As long as she doesn’t get a visit from future Dot we should be OK.

        1. Orion Fury

          Well, if she gets an eye patch in the near future, we’ll know why.

        2. StClair

          Some kind of epic Soggies war?

        3. Perry

          Bless you all for this thread. 🙂

      3. Bagge

        Everypony here is CRAZY!!!

        1. Emperor Norton II

          And that’s why you love us sooooo much!

    2. Emperor Norton II

      “Dear soon-to-be Madam President

      Today I learned that it’s important to make time for people in distress, even if they don’t really have time for you. Or any reason to talk to you whatsoever, because they are in a place you’ve never been in, and will most likely not fully understand if it took you a lifetime. Sometimes, a smile can absolutely not go a long way at all, when throwing it all willy-nilly at a suicidally depressed person.

      I also learned about the third restraining order you’ve taken out on me for sending you these letters. I’m not so sure there is a moral lesson in this, though.”

      1. BenRG

        “Your faithful student,

        Twilight Sparkle
        Dorothy Keener”

    3. The Pigma

      Now I can only imagine Dorothy sounding like Twilight Sparkle.

      1. Emperor Norton II

        Oh fricking goddess, we so fucking need to get Tara Strong (and some friends) to read out the best Dorothy strips!

        1. Doctor_Who

          Weirdly, I always imagined Joyce having Tara’s voice. She can do “chipper” very well, as you’ll know if you’ve ever heard her as Squirrel Girl.

          As for Dorothy, I dunno, maybe Mae Whitman?

        2. Emperor Norton II

          I have not seen Squirrel Girl, and I think that perhaps I should.

          In any case, Tara can simply do a conversation between Joyce and Dorothy. Problem solved!

        3. Roborat

          Squirrel Girl got me reading comics again (I love Ryan North and will read anything he produces). Mind you, those are the only ones I read, although I will also probably start following Gwenpool.

        4. EvilMidnightLurker

          …I was not aware that Squirrel Girl had ever been professionally voiced by anyone. Where might I find this wonder?

        5. Deanatay

          Apparently she voiced Squirrel Girl in the Marvel Heroes video game. Sound bites can be found here.

        6. DudeMyDadOwnsADealership

          She did great.

        7. Vicmaze

          Didn’t squril girl appear in the ultimate spiderman cartoon or does that not counts professional?

      2. Rosstifer

        Oddly enough, I’ve always imagined Sal sounding EXACTLY like Applejack.

        1. StClair

          Y’ reckon?

        2. MM

          Well, great, now Penny sounds like Rarity.

      3. Yet_One_More_Idiot

        If Dorothy is the Dumbiverse’s version of Twiley, then…who are the Dumbiverse’s version of Princesses Celly, Luly and Cady?

        1. Emperor Norton II

          Celestia: Leslie Bean, when she’s in proper teacher mode.

          Luna: Hank. Started out pretty horrible, ends up very nice.

          Cadence: Hmmm, that one’s a toughie… No wait, it’s not. That’s Sierra. She always makes people feel better.

        2. No Name

          AND she’s Roomies with Dorothy!

        3. Emperor Norton II

          Oh, so -she- made Dorothy fall in love with Walky, then!

      4. Paul

        Jen Taylor (Cortana) as AG, Ellen McLain (doing the Glados Voice) as Dina, Katey Sagal as Billie, Nancy Cartwright (Bart Simpson Voice) as Walky, John C. Reilly (Ralph in Wreck-it Ralph) as Joe, and more!

        1. Roborat

          You forgot Tress Macneille, There is a law in Hollywood that any animated feature has to have her doing at least one voice.

        2. Paul

          I thought of her but I couldn’t think of who she would fit best, Joyce comes to mind. Of course Mark Hamil for Joe, Billy West for Danny (and any one else) and Frank Welker for random noises.

    4. LeslieBean4Shizzle

      **opens mouth**
      **closes mouth**
      **slow claps**

      1. LeslieBean4Shizzle

        (My comment above is directed at Doctor_Who, in case it wasn’t apparent. Not that I don’t like Emperor Norton’s idea, but that’s mostly because I want to hear Tara Strong read just about anything.)

        1. Emperor Norton II

          Yeah, I’m not so much having an idea as stating the obvious, really.

    5. Keulan

      I was gonna make a comment about Dorothy acting like Twilight Sparkle here, but you clearly beat me to it.

      1. Bagge

        Me to. Didn’t stop me!

        1. Emperor Norton II

          Bagge, not even a fortified titanium castle with lava moats and laser turrets could stop you when you’re determined to say something.

          Thank goodness for that!

        2. Bagge

          Bagges IRL friends: Don’t we know it…

    6. WikiDreamer

      …OMG HEAD CANON ACCEPTED!

  2. Victor Riley

    She’s trying… even if she does seem to have a schedule.

    1. zoelogical

      haha sometimes that extra work is what it takes to make sure that you don’t accidentally neglect people

  3. Nono

    …Did Dorothy just transmogrify that cup into a notepad and pen?

    1. Doctor_Who

      So my quip about her attending Hogwarts 2 days ago was accidentally accurate?

      1. Woobie

        Nah, she just dropped it back on the floor behind her.

    2. Thursday Violist

      It’s actually a requirement to become president.

      Remember, that’s her goal, right?

    3. Slartibeast Button, BIA

      No, she just stuck it in Billie’s back pocket.

    4. Reltzik

      She’s an x-treem recycler.

  4. Mr. Mendo

    You can’t make your sadness go away by turning it into homework, Dorothy!

    1. Train Moblin

      I usually turned my homework into sadness

      1. Mr. Mendo

        As God intended! LOL ^_^

  5. Marvelman

    Is it just me, or are the new strips being uploaded a few minutes later than they used to be?

    1. David M Willis

      I upload them three months ago.

      Sometimes the website is late making a new page for them.

      1. Bluewind

        Good to know. I’m on mobile and CST and they seem to pop up between 11:05 and 11:06 PM for me. I just thought it was because the mobile version came out later. 🙂

      2. Cholma

        Nice try, Sly Sir! We ALL know that you scribble the latest comic at the last moment, based on the previous day’s comment section! BUSTED.

      3. Opus the Poet

        Perhaps because the server is getting hammered by people checking in and doing refreshes to get the day’s comic?

        1. David M Willis

          There’s an automated script running that publishes the strip a few minutes later in case the actual update time of 12:01am misfires.

        2. Orion Fury

          Redundancies to make sure a post isn’t missed. Comics are serious business.

        3. DSL

          When it’s your livelihood, and when you have fans/readers/clients wanting and occasionally paying for not just your content but reliable delivery of your content, it’s serious business indeed.

        4. Orion Fury

          The one’s that pay to see the daily’s see it the day before on another site.

    2. Needfuldoer

      Depends on how accurate the clock you’re reading is, and whether the server’s clock has drifted. (Though anything connected to the Internet should poll an NTP time server to stay within a handful of seconds of actual time.)

  6. Dean

    It would be so much easier if people had glowing quest markers hovering over their heads, wouldn’t it?

    1. MatthewTheLucky

      At least Dotty is remembering to save often.

      1. Tacos

        But is she saving as separate save files or just overwriting her old one?

        1. Orion Fury

          I don’t picture her as a scum saver, but I could be wrong.

    2. Doctor_Who

      Right? I would know exactly who to avoid at work, because they’re going to ask me for favors if I speak to them.

      1. Nono

        The dangerous ones are the one with daily quests.

      2. Bluewind

        And who not to kill to keep from breaking the quests because SOMEBODY forgot to make them essential. -_-

        1. Disloyal Subject

          What, you don’t use mods to keep everyone mortal?

        2. Orion Fury

          Well at least in the code here everyone is currently flagged as essential. Don’t know how much luck you’d have with mods there.

    3. Reltzik

      Oh I would so troll the whole world with one of those.

    4. AgentKeen

      Until the times I’d see someone with one floating over their head while I’m already in a hurry to finish the previous one.

      And then I end up losing track of that quest I started really early on that still hasn’t finished yet; did I miss the next interaction? Did I have to do it before I talked to someone else?

      What do you mean there isn’t a strategy guide for it?!?

      1. Orion Fury

        Life needs cheat codes? At the very least a cow level.

  7. Julie

    Thus, the author reveals how he tags each strip

  8. MatthewTheLucky

    She should probably stay away from Becky an Dina if she’s keeping score.

  9. Foxhack

    … is Billie mad at Dorothy?

    1. Idontcarenomore

      I don’t think so, not sure though.
      I think Billie is possibly stopping drinking?
      Also, she is worried about Ruth.

    2. Fart Captor

      Not specifically, no

      1. Leorale

        She’s just hella depressed in general, and didn’t mean to come out about it. She probably classifies Dorothy’s well-meant friendliness as a disingenuous hassle or similar annoyance.

        1. Fart Captor

          I think that might be over-complicating it. She just doesn’t want to deal with people right now, sincere or not. Certainly not people who aren’t Ruth.

          Hopefully she’ll at least be willing to talk Walky, or at least tolerate him hanging around while not talking.

        2. Deanatay

          Walky: Hey, Billie!
          Billie: LEAVE ME ALONE, Walky. I’m not in the mood for your shit!
          Walky: Oh, okay.
          Billie: I just… I feel like there’s a hole in my – hey, where are you going? DON’T WALK AWAY FROM ME WHEN I’M TALKING TO YOU!!

    3. tim gueguen

      Perhaps she doesn’t want any more help, since the last time someone tried to help it put Ruth’s job and continued school attendance in jeopardy.

    4. Emperor Norton II

      Thing is… Dorothy can’t really understand. Dorothy has —at least to our knowledge— never shown sign of clinical depression. What little Billie knows of her, she’s never seen any such signs either.

      And here’s the thing. That sort of-smile on Dorothy as she offers to listen… It makes the offer look a bit awkward. A bit forced.

      And maybe, just maybe, someone in Billie’s position would feel it as somewhat patronizing. “I would like to do this thing that I think is expected of me to do in this situation, so that I can cross off a checklist of Being a Good Person.” I.e, Dorothy doing it for Dorothy, not for Billie.

      I’m not saying that it’s what Dorothy is doing. I’m saying that Billie might well feel that way. Because we get back to the part where Dorothy’s never been depressed, and can’t really, -really- understand. If Billie even wants to talk to anyone at all right now (biiiig if), she wants to talk to someone who truly knows how she feels. Someone who will, first and foremost, just validate those feelings of hers, and tell her how they dealt with it. What she sure as hell doesn’t want is to be someone’s “project” in any way or form. And anyone that she perceives is looking at her like a project -will- be cut off.

      1. Emperor Norton II

        Fart Captor: “Seven hells, and I thought Leorale over-complicated things needlessly!”

      2. Fart Captor

        Well, for one, the offer IS a bit awkward, because Dorothy is in fact socially awkward. Being a nerd with ambitious career goals from a young age can do that.

        Secondly, I actually like your assessment better because you empathized Billie’s emotional reaction to Dorothy in a way that distinguishes it from how she might rationally interpret her actions.

        I absolutely agree about how Dorothy’s offer felt to Billie, and that she definitely doesn’t know her well enough for it to not feel patronizing.

        However, what I how is that Billie isn’t feeling so terrible about herself right now that on a rational level, she won’t be able to see — at least in hindsight — that Dorothy was just trying to be nice.

        I realize she might well feel that bad, but there seems to be room for a small amount of hope there, so I’m damn well going to cram in however much hope will fit

  10. Opus the Poet

    Running late, but I think our Dot is working her buns off trying to get Ruth’s job next year.

    1. poofdepoof

      Wow, I like that idea. Maybe she’s trying to get the RA position now; there is currently a vacancy, after all.

  11. Darkoneko

    Day 20.
    I have robbed another minute from the server clock.
    They have yet to notice.

    1. Orion Fury

      Day 21.
      I have taken an additional 2 seconds.
      I’m a rebel.

      1. Anorak

        Day 22.
        I stole a whole minute. It doesn’t seem like anyone noticed.

  12. Idontcarenomore

    Yes indeed, that’s our compassionate Dorothy, with the computer mind set and counting ‘in-counters’.

    1. Orion Fury

      Well there are a lot of people to show that she cares and wants them to be better. Practice and all that.

  13. Bluewind

    Poor Billie. I wonder how she’s coping 🙁

    1. Orion Fury

      So long as it’s not with alcohol, things will be better.

      1. Bluewind

        Agreed. The last thing she needs right now is a depressant. Alcohol withdrawal must have been a bongo though.

        I wonder how Ruth is? She would have required 3 days in patient in a psy hospital minimum, but it could be as long as two or three weeks if she had an especially bad case with no external support system. They will probably put her on an antidepressant as well. Here’s hoping we get a strip showing how she is. I’m gonna go with “not happy”.

        1. Bluewind

          Lol! I like the censorship on this site. Instead of doing the whole * thing, it changes naughty stuff to bongo XD

        2. Orion Fury

          Well, that word to bongo. Other ones range from nothing to nullifying the comment.

        3. Bluewind

          Huh. Hopefully I won’t use the wrong ones then as I “cuss more than a lady should” according to my dad. 😉

        4. Orion Fury

          The nullifying one, when needed for reference, I think gets typed in as (slur for women). Starts with ‘c’, rhymes with ‘runt’? I think those might be the only two swears that get edited. Well, at least out of the seven you can’t say on tv.

      2. Fart Captor

        I’ve no idea how long it takes to start detoxing or how long its been since Billie’s last drink, but I’m a little worried that she doesn’t look more disheveled.

        Really hoping it just means it hasn’t been long enough and she slept really well somehow :/

        1. Bluewind

          I did a quick search and found that withdrawal starts about 6 to 12 hours after the last drink with the length and severity depending on how long they have been an alcoholic and how much they drank on average, but it looks like the peek is over after 2 days and mostly over after like a week with some really bad long term alcoholics having symptoms for months. At least we know she probably hasn’t been an alcoholic for too long because of her age so… what? One maybe two years tops? How long has Ruth been in the hospital at this point? If it’s been 2 days or more, Billie might have gotten past the worst part of it already. Also, as someone with substance abuse running in her family, I can say for certain that a very strong case of “fuck you” is par for the coarse for a while. Sleep tends to be hard for them too (at least it was for my dad for a while), so she might be on a mild sleep aid explaining why she looks rested (also, too much booze makes your skin look like crap). I hope they have her on a temp antidepressant until the therapy starts helping.

          * My mother did pills, my brother shot dope and drank, my dad is an alcoholic (he’s cut back a lot so I’m proud of him), and I am the one in her 30s who has never been to a party and has to be pretty much forced to take an ibuprofen XD

        2. Fart Captor

          Ruth was brought to the medical center just last night, and it seems like its still morning, so probably less than twelve hours. Definitely less than sixteen. Two years sounds reasonable for how long she’s been drinking, but she’s been drinking pretty heavily. Sounds like she’ll start detoxing soon if she isn’t already.

          She didn’t mention any medication at the hospital, but I hope they gave her something as well. I’d think they would at least be able to give her something to help with the withdrawal symptoms.

          Also, oof. That sounds like a very reasonably excessive amount of caution

        3. Emperor Norton II

          As far as we know, Ruth hasn’t had a drink for some time longer than sixteen hours. She pretty much spent the weekend feeling the abstinence symptoms hit her pretty hard, and I never saw any bottles in her presence in that time. When she was sent in, it was because she was in a state of just hoping to die if she did nothing.

        4. Fart Captor

          I was talkin’ about Billie. Probably could have been clearer about that.

          I was only mentioned Ruth because it seems safe to assume Billie’s last drink was before she was brought to the medical center.

        5. Emperor Norton II

          Ooooh, now it makes more sense.

          Yeah, I honestly have no idea when Billie’s last drink was. Though I do think it’s a fair bit before the whole situation. She hasn’t seemed particularly drunk for quite some time now, but I may very well be wrong on that.

        6. Bluewind

          Sorry. I thought she had been taken in night before last as I had it in my head that the rally happened on the day between. Perhaps Billy had been detoxing before this or at least cut way back? Hopefully Willis will bring it up at some point.

        7. Fart Captor

          No worries. That one night took like two months of strips to end.

          I can’t imagine she’d stopped drinking on her own without it being shown at some point, but it pretty much has to come up at some point either way

  14. newllend(henryvolt)

    So is this a literal niceness agenda or something?

    1. Slartibeast Button, BIA

      The Niceness Agenda would be a good name for a political thriller novel.

      1. Orion Fury

        Smother the evil ‘x’ with hugs?

      2. davidbreslin101

        Or a late ’80s Doctor Who storyline, one of the satirical ones.
        “[Enter NANNYBOT, a robot in a Victorian governess outfit with circular saws for hands. She backs the DOCTOR against the Mind Console.]
        NANNYBOT: Now now, play nice.
        [Go to credits]”

    2. Fart Captor

      Obviously, IU is secretly huge government run social experimentation laboratory. Dorothy is merely a plant, placed among the more interesting subjects to monitor them up close.

      1. Willoughby Chase

        She’s a mouse?

    3. OnyxIdol

      Possibly even a liberal niceness agenda.

      1. Needfuldoer

        Which of course means the other side is obligated to staunchly hold the polar opposite position.

        Wait a minute…

        1. Opus the Poet

          Yep! The other party has the asshole agenda.

      2. Jhon

        ‘You are a mindless tool of the liberal niceness agenda!’

        … I like the sound of that.

  15. Kernanator

    My dad also has a need to make spreadsheets out of everything.

    1. Orion Fury

      At least they’re not graphs.

      1. Willoughby Chase

        You can make pie-charts and graphs from spreadsheets. It’s one of their disadvantages.

        1. Orion Fury

          alright, so not graphs yet.

    2. Spencer

      It shouldn’t be a problem unless it’s charts. At that point you might be dealing with a case of Fazitis.

  16. DinaWho

    Dorothy… what even.

    1. Orion Fury

      Do you even RA?

    2. Willoughby Chase

      I think she read a book … How to Win Friends and Influence People, perhaps?

  17. rezby

    So Dorothy is now the new RA? huh.

    1. Orion Fury

      Temporary. Hopefully.

    2. Slartibeast Button, BIA

      I bow down to Dorothy the Sun God.

  18. Derek

    did Dorothy pull that notepad out of her butt or Link’s Bag of Holding?

    1. MatthewTheLucky

      Butt of Holding.

      1. Train Moblin

        Bag of butts?

        1. Dellaran

          Butt-sket of deplorables?

        2. Orion Fury

          Braspace?

        3. MatthewTheLucky

          Braspace is for some reason dominated by cats.

        4. Orion Fury

          Odd, never heard of that.

        5. Orion Fury

          Dogs, I’d get.

    2. Slartibeast Button, BIA

      Just generic Hammerspace. She just hasn’t used it on Walky. Yet.

  19. Sporky

    Aw, I feel bad for Dorothy. She just wants to be friends with everyone.

  20. Scar Man!!!

    i need to make that list

    1. Orion Fury

      But not Jericho’s…

  21. newllend(henryvolt)

    You know the whole thing about Dorothy wanting to exel and get approvement from everyone because she wants to be president wasn’t really a bad trait. But now it’s starting to be unnecessary.

    A month from now there’s a chance we might have Donald Trump as president, the bar is now officially too low for her to be trying this hard.

    1. Slartibeast Button, BIA

      We didn’t realize how literally she meant that she intended to Excel™.

      1. Bagge

        *reluctant slowclap*

    2. hof1991

      Low bar for men, but a very high bar for female-Americans.

      1. Anorak

        Hillary is running as well. Neither her nor trump will set the bar very high for future presidents.

        1. Fart Captor

          That you put them on the same level perfectly illustrates hof’s point.

        2. poofdepoof

          an internet for fart captor.

      2. MM

        And Dorothy’s an atheist. She might very well be expecting demands to produce documentation she has morals.

      3. Slartibeast Button, BIA

        Trying to think of how Joe would twist that line into something dirty.

  22. Lipke the Articulate

    Oh.
    Right.
    The whole thing about Billie and Ruth.
    Dammit, I just can’t catch a feels break.

    1. Reltzik

      Well, there is always the chance of a missed update.

      *harmonica note*

      It’s a feels break /
      Nothing but a feels break /
      When the comic comes late /
      When the server’s down

  23. newllend(henryvolt)

    Aww classic Billie, would rather lash out than open up. We’ll Walky is going to have his work cut out here.

    1. Orion Fury

      He’ll shove himself into the closet for her for a laugh.

  24. brasca1

    I’m surprised she still uses an actual tablet.

    1. Orion Fury

      As opposed to?

      1. dralou

        … A digital one ?

        1. Orion Fury

          So stone and chesil? Funny, I didn’t picture Dorothy as a hippie.

  25. Fart Captor

    I’m a little surprised neither Walky or Becky had Billie’s door staked out.

    I mean, Becky’s absence hopefully means she’s calmed down enough to realize she should let Billie have her space (or at least crashed too hard last night to get up yet, because damn she needed the rest), but I thought for sure the reason Walky got up early was to check on Billie.

    1. Spencer

      I think one of the first things Walky will do when he actually wake up (IIRC he went back to bed) is check on Billie.

      It would be weird if he didn’t. She’s like the sister he never had.

  26. Griffin

    Dorothy:
    > excited about trash
    > socially awkward

    Me, is that you?

  27. Arianod

    I don’t think that’s how you get to President of the US, but what do I know.

    1. Fart Captor

      There used to be rules for that, but no longer. Now you can do anything and become president, as long as you do it hard enough.

      Even being a national embarrassment.

      1. Orion Fury

        NOT HARD ENOUGH?

  28. Tomas

    So, did she just drop the trash on the ground again to write in her log book?

    1. Slartibeast Button, BIA

      Yes, then she can pick it up again for double the Green Points.

  29. Bagge

    Oh Dotty, you so Twilight Sparkle.

    That was pretty good grades for Billie!

    1. Orion Fury

      The next level is curmudgeonly.

    2. Taigan

      That was my thought. Now I’m going to hear that voice whenever Dorothy is speaking.

    3. Jhon

      Twilight Sparkle is Best Pony.
      Anypony can sparkle by the dawn’s early light.
      It takes talent to sparkle at the twilight’s last gleaming.

      1. Bagge

        I know, right. To shimmer when the sun sets… to glimmer in the starlight… Yes, it takes a special talent. A Great and Amazing talent.

  30. trlkly

    If I didn’t know what OCD was (having it myself), I would say “wow, she’s really OCD.”

    Here I thought her major flaw was caring so much about people’s feeling that she wouldn’t do what’s best. Like she did when she didn’t break up with Danny before he followed her to college.

    Makes me think about how different the comic would be if she had.

    1. Orion Fury

      I’m curious, when people jokingly call it ‘CDO’, does it bother you?

      1. Bicycle Bill

        No, because now it’s in alphabetical order …. LIKE IT DAMNED WELL IS SUPPOSED TO BE!!!

        1. Anorak

          Except then you should realize that there is no reason that alphabetical order needs to be in that order.

        2. Orion Fury

          As well as it becomes ‘Compulsive Disorder Order’, which makes no sense. I’m not a fan of the joke, or even of people saying they have it when they’re just particular about something.

      2. trlkly

        Nah. I’ve accepted that it has a different meaning for other people. I don’t see any sign that people think less of the actual disorder because of it.

        Okay, so I cringe slightly. But I think that has more to do with how it’s bad even for a “dad joke.”

        1. trlkly

          (By “think less,” I meant that they don’t think it’s not serious because of that usage. That’s usually the argument against it. But people do seem to realize what they are describing is not the real disorder.)

          I myself avoid it just to avoid offending people, as I know that those of us with mental illnesses have less privilege in this arena than even other minorities. We can more easily be dismissed as crazy for objecting.

          That’s why you’ll see me telling people “Please don’t make fun of the mentally ill by calling them ‘crazy,’ ‘psycho,’ ‘insane,’ etc.” I think it’s a decent compromise: use the words, but don’t use them against us. It’s too hurtful for a lot of us.

        2. Orion Fury

          I get that. There’s a lot of thing that I’d say, if only in reference, but only one I don’t like typing out, ‘r-word’. Lot of pain there for me.

  31. Dana

    Of course Dorothy uses her hammerspace for school supplies.

    1. Orion Fury

      Well she is in college, and isn’t a drinker, so it makes sense to me.

  32. Rukduk

    Dorothy’s a witch!!! She turned that paper cup into a pen and notepad! Quick, grab your torches and pitchforks!!!

    1. Orion Fury

      And she turned me into a newt!

      1. Rukduk

        …I got better.

    2. Queezel

      yes but she is ourwitch..

    3. Slartibeast Button, BIA

      Does she weigh the same as a duck?

  33. Jacques Cornelius Parrot III

    Last panel is now officially my favorite Dorothy moment of DoA.

    1. Orion Fury

      I know, so cheery about it.

    2. Bagge

      I know, right. So happy about her own progress and reward system! Things like this is why I think Dorothy is both very likeable and completely hilarious.

  34. Delicious Taffy

    I really want to just go into this comic and give everyone a hug and tell them everything will be alright. How many Patreon moneys will it take to have an entire chapter of that?

    1. Orion Fury

      Even Mary? But she’s studying…

      1. Delicious Taffy

        Oh, right. I forgot about Mary. I try to do that, you see. She doesn’t get a hug until I get some indication she isn’t an soulless hate robot. Ryan is also excluded from any and all hugs that may be around. Maybe I should start a list of people who aren’t allowed on my hug list.

        1. Orion Fury

          When you do, add that little stupid idiot from Joyce’s church that ignored her and Becky.

        2. Delicious Taffy

          No-Hug List: Rough Draft

          Mary, Ryan and his ‘bros’, Carol, John, Ross, that church kid, Faz, Blaine, Raidah and her posse, Linda, and that one guy who tried to tag that sign.

        3. Spencer

          Raidah bagged Jacob. She must be doing something right.

        4. yo.

          People aren’t universally bongoy, unfortunately. And Raidah strikes me as the “popular girl” on campus; anything she does would get excused on likability factor alone, especially since her sole victim is “mean loser girl” Sarah.

          source: extensive history of being treated like crap by people with tons of friends

        5. Spencer

          Possibly, though I subscribe to the theory that there’s more to the Dana situation than previously believed, and that Raidah is more complex than just being the Alpha Bongo.

          Jacob’s a dude looking for “the real deal”; that implies at least something positive about his relationship with Raidah.

        6. Orion Fury

          I also thought that Raidah was partially with Jacob cause it pissed Sarah off? Or am I just remember something wrong?

        7. Slartibeast Button, BIA

          No, Raidah had no idea there was anything between Jacob and Sarah. She’s just with Jacob because of his massive studliness. At least some of Sarah’s motivation is to get Jacob in order to hurt Raidah, but she realizes how messed up that is.

        8. Fart Captor

          Raidah also treated Dina like a lost toddler. I’m definitely not a fan of her.

          I would also put Alice onto that list, due to her venomous meangirl bullshit.

        9. thejeff

          I’m reserving judgement on Alice – We’ve basically only seen her interact with her alcoholic ex-girlfriend. Not a time anyone comes across at their best.

          If we ever see her again, we might get more depth or she might confirm the initial impressions.

        10. Orion Fury

          That kid that hurt Marcie in Sal’s flashback.

          Is there a hug list too? Don’t forget to include Becky twice and Jessica.

        11. Delicious Taffy

          There certainly is a Hug List. It’s basically everyone who isn’t on the No-Hug List. Right up at the top are Becky, Joyce, Ruth, and Billie.

  35. BenRG

    Wait… what?

    So, this is either a class assignment or Dorothy has been replaced by an alien pod-person! Something tells me that she’s going to be deeply freaky to be around for a while!

    1. Orion Fury

      RA Bingo? Too bad no one else is playing.

      1. BenRG

        I guess ‘Made RA in the second month of my Freshman year’ would look good on the ol’ political resumé.

        1. Bagge

          I bet the thought has occurred to her.
          I bet she feels slightly guilty over it.

  36. KaitouKidisBae

    Awwwwwww now I really wanna give Dorothy a hug.

    1. Delicious Taffy

      I want to give her several hugs, mostly for being a pretty cool gal. She’s been lucky enough not to be subjected to nearly as much madness as some of the others have, so far.

      1. KaitouKidisBae

        Although, given how she’s been inserting herself into certain things, she probably will be in the future.

  37. CJ

    Do I miss a reference to some show here? What’s that with the clipboard and taking notes on how interaction go? Did someone give her an assignment of keeping track of her interactions with people on her floor?
    And how did she list her talk with AG/Amber and Walky discovering his face hair?

    1. Delicious Taffy

      This could just be one of her lesser-mentioned habits that’s just now surfacing, like her morning runs.

  38. foamy

    I could be mistaken — wouldn’t be the first time — but I’m thinkin’ that last line is dripping with sarcasm. Lookit the flip in expressions between the two panels.

    1. BenRG

      I’m starting to wonder if Dorothy has a problem with human behavioural subtleties, somewhat like Dina. She’s just a lot more methodical about dealing with it. She’s got a schedule for casual interaction and showing empathy, just like she has a schedule for exercise.

      1. thejeff

        There was a comment earlier (or maybe in the slipshine?) about her taking notes on sex.

        1. Orion Fury

          Well it is important to know where things are going, in the ‘excels’, ‘satisfactory’ and ‘needs improvements’ departments.

    2. Vulcanodon

      I got the same vibe – sarcasm. Says to herself; “Well, you’re doin’ great Dorothy. Way to go.” (facial expression)

    3. Fart Captor

      I think you might be underestimating how much of a dork Dorothy is. I read it as completely sincere and very adorable

      1. BenRG

        It’s the first time that I’ve seen a character in this strip do something that I could imagine early-show Lt Cmdr Data do in Star Trek – The Next Generation.

        1. Vulcanodon

          But… we already know that she is “fully-functional!”

        2. Orion Fury

          and ‘anatomically correct’. I took it as happy serious, making sure people know they’re important, cause there are a lot of people there.

  39. Gangler

    Not enough students fully embrace their skill set. Note taking doesn’t have to be just for school. It’s a skill that can help you in almost any area of life. It’s like having an external harddrive for your brain.

  40. AlexDenton

    Oh god she’s so Lisa Simpson XD

    1. Taigan

      I was going to say “Twilight Sparkle.”

  41. Silly Name

    Why this doesn’t surprise me?

    And why I think it’s a good idea?

    1. BenRG

      Because, in the end, we’d all like to have a checklist of life hacks for our everyday existence.

  42. JessWitt

    DoA bingo cards should be a thing. The random button would work in drawing strips.

  43. JBento

    I… I don’t get this one? Is this something Americans do? Indianans? Dorm people? Indianans dorm people? Is she an alien working through human interactions, and has only recently kicked the habit of calling other people “hello fellow Earthling?”

    1. Arturo

      for what I understand, Dorothy is the new RA

      1. Neeks

        Or at least acting like it because Ruth left a power vacuum, and who else to fill it besides Ruth’s superior who said she’d do it but has other responsibilities and so probably isn’t around that much?

      2. JBento

        I’m not familiar with dorm power structures – can a 1st year student be an RA? Shouldn’t that job fall to someone who’s already familiar with how everything works from previous years?

        1. Spencer

          They cannot.

          If any of the current cast were to become the new RA, it would be Sarah, Carla, or maybe Rachel if she’s a sophomore as well.

        2. JBento

          *tries to imagine Mary’s reaction at “Carla, the RA”*

          *grins*

        3. yo.

          As utterly amazing as that development would be, something tells me that Carla is type to run from responsibility like a vampire from sunlight 🙁

        4. Spencer

          “What do you mean I don’t get to throw water balloons at the students? You let Ruthless beat them up all the time!”

        5. JBento

          Carla: Eew, responsibility? Hard pass.
          Administration: You get to mess with Mary.
          Carla, deadpan: Where do I sign and how much do I have to pay to make this happen?

        6. Orion Fury

          “We pay you.”

    2. Neeks

      I don’t think this is a thing people in general do… my guess is Dorothy has a checklist for achieving/maintaining self-actualization or something.

    3. BadMonkey

      It’s either trying to fill the RA void or her way of dealing with the suicidal feelings of both Ruth and Billie. Sometimes finding out someone you see daily has been suicidal for some time and you didn’t “see the signs” makes people out of their way to be consciously positively socially active. Dorothy, being the type of person she is, would feel the need to measure that activity to make herself feel better.

    4. Slartibeast Button, BIA

      Dorothy is actually a Chinger in a human suit.

  44. BenRG

    If Dorothy is the new RA then I’m remembering something I read in a ‘The Prisoner’ licensed novel with one of the other Numbers describing Number 6’s stint as the new Number 2: “You were the single most sickeningly and relentlessly upbeat and depressingly motivational scoutmaster that’s ever been inflicted on this place.” I’m thinking that Dorothy might be a similar shock for the residents of the floor.

    1. Slartibeast Button, BIA

      Picturing Jason and Penny on that tetter-totter thing in The Village HQ.

      Is Monkey Master Rover?

  45. Toes14

    Agatha is hot. We need to see more of her. Although being a Mormon, I doubt we’ll see too much of her . . .

    1. Fart Captor

      I’m not sure why her religion would prevent her from getting additional appearances. It’s not as if she’s a Lessmon!

      :V

      1. JBento

        C’mon, folks, don’t be mean to Agatha – she’s a person, not one of those pokemon you’ve mentioned.

      2. Spencer

        ayy lmao

  46. Tabula Rasa

    Excel pivot tables!

  47. Fire_daws

    Dorothy for new RA. Calling it now.

    1. yo.

      She can’t, unfortunately. I think they mentioned that only an upperclassmen can be the RA.

    2. Jhon

      She can be the Temporary Acting Provisional RA. Only until they can find a new one, of course. (…months from now…)

      1. Willoughby Chase

        or Temporay RA (Acting Provisional)?

  48. Roborat

    Comments like today’s are the reason I love following this comic. Oh, and the comic was pretty good too, I guess.

    1. Orion Fury

      “Well, it’s alright.”

    2. Jhon

      NOT HARD ENOUGH

      1. Orion Fury

        Thank you.

    3. Fart Captor

      Want to hug characters, but am unable to. 8/10

  49. trlkly

    I just thought of someone else she reminds me of: CGP Gray.

    If you listen to his podcasts (google them), you find out that he loves to keep lists of his activities. The difference is that his would be on some iDevice, since he’s a huge Apple fanboy, and very minimalistic about possessions. He hates paper like that–it’s messy and takes up space.

  50. Trillion

    this comic is super super comforting for me to read. i can relate to some of these situations, especially dina’s difficulty with people. i especially like that old things don’t just vanish, it hangs around and changes the character a little bit. that feels realistic which is nice because it has that keep moving forward feel to it.

  51. Willoughby Chase

    Will Dorothy run for the Student Union? That would be interesting.

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