285

Trick’r’treat
Posted on July 13, 2022 by David M Willis

285 thoughts on “Trick’r’treat”

  1. Ana Chronistic

    easier to just agree, “yup, too cool”

    or “Girl Walky but a biker chick”

    or “Hipster Sal, you wouldn’t have heard of her”

    or even “Malaya-Face Puncher”

    1. Yumi

      “I’m a serial killer; they look just like everyone else” is always a classic.

      1. The Flower Cosmic

        What an excellence comment to make on a Wednesday

      2. Felian

        How have i never heard of that one, lol.
        I’d continue the night by finding cornflakes in the host’s shelf, and whenever i meet a new person, drop some, crunch it under foot, and make the cereal killer pun.
        I’m competent at attending parties.

    2. ThunderNight

      how about “Sal Walters from It’s Walky”

    3. Decidedly Orthogonal

      Oh Sal. Why do you keep empowering Malaya by responding? (ans: cuz yer young, but) Actually *be* too cool for her by ignoring her and doing something else. Literally just turn away from her.

      1. StClair

        also because she is deeply invested in staying friends with Marcie, who insists on having Malaya in her social circle (because she is extremely, if unrequitedly, thirsty for the latter – and likely to remain so, given Malaya’s complete disinterest or active distaste for such activities).

        1. StClair

          sooo I’m a doofus, who’s been mixing up who was sex-repulsed in the previous Carla-Malaya relationship. Never mind.

    4. Tan

      I’m my evil twin. What, you don’t see the difference? Doesn’t bode well for you when my actual evil twin shows up….

      1. Jdorr

        The biggest issue with that excuse is we know her actual twin who is, no offence to Walky, not a threat

        1. a/snow/mous/e

          “My evil triplet”, then?

    5. :D

      I love “Hipster Sal, you wouldn’t have heard of her” 😀

    6. Lokitsu

      Honestly, Space Capt Julia Gray isn’t the lamest OC I’ve ever heard of.

      1. S.R.

        There’s definitely way worse characters out there than the ones made by inexperienced writers having fun.

    7. Taellosse

      Easier, yes. But not sufficiently passive-aggressively antagonistic to Malaya, Sal’s social nemesis.

  2. The Wellerman

    Oh hell yeah, vampires! SPACE vampires!!!! ?

    I really hope we see Julia Grey fight a space version of Dio Brando!!! ?

  3. Stephen Bierce

    The only tunes that come to mind are jingles for supermarket STEAKS. Beef. It’s What’s For Dinner.

    1. The Wellerman

      I was gonna put some but I couldn’t choose between music from JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure and Vomitron’s CastleVania tracks! ?

      1. Mr D

        There is not enough posing or fabulousness for Jojo music.
        Or, y’know, Color.

        1. The Wellerman

          Vomitron’s Castlevania tracks it is!!! ???

          https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hUFOq6FpvYY

    2. Needfuldoer

      As long as they’re REAL steaks, not those parking lot “steaks”. Those get a shitty kazoo cover of Rodeo.

      1. khn0

        cue Japanische Kampfhörspiele – Verpackt in Plastik

  4. Nono

    Malaya, YOU’re not dressed up, either.

    1. Mr D

      Malaya is very much a hypocrite when it comes to Sal

      1. Nono

        Honestly I don’t think Malaya cares about being a hypocrite, just determined to prove that Sal is ‘actually’ uncool.

      2. Thag Simmons

        It’s probably noteworthy that the things they each dislike about each other are traits that are shared between them.

        1. Imogen

          This is actually a really neat way to see it. Sal certainly isn’t as abrasive as Malaya is, but she *is* pretty prickly and confrontational, and both she and Malaya put on huge fronts.

        2. Alex

          Oh, nice insight!

        3. justin8448

          Thanks for pointing this out, Thag. I had previously noted how Malaya performatively hates what she sees as phoniness in others, especially Sal, only to belatedly recognize it in herself. But it hadn’t occurred to me that it goes the other way too.

    2. anon

      i doubt malaya got an invite to sarah’s party or she’s going to a diff thing if not just spending time with her lizard

    3. hazel

      This IS the month that Malaya said they wore a binder throughout.

      1. anon

        i don’t know if wearing a binder counts as ‘dressing up’/being in costume for malaya unless she’s ‘crossplaying ‘ as some random guy known for wearing plaid lol

        1. hazel

          It counts as literally dressing, “in costume” was not mentioned.

        2. Taffy

          “Then where’s your costume?” offers the necessary context to what Nono said. “Dressing up” and “wearing a costume” are generally two phrases for the same thing, when it comes to Halloween. The exact specific literal wording is not as important in this scenario.

        3. eh, whatever

          Dressing up was mentioned – not dressing.

  5. Koms

    Joyce is just too cute in this

    1. The Wellerman

      Right? ?

  6. RassilonTDavros

    sometimes, this strip makes me feel things, deep things, about the human condition.

    …and then sometimes it’s just absolutely hilarious. like tonight.

    1. True Survivor

      This strip is 10/10.

      1. Schpoonman

        The last two panels are impeccable.

        1. The Wellerman

          I see you also have excellent taste! ?

    2. Rose by Any Other Name

      See, what this strip makes me think about is the giant space vampires from E-space that the timelords staked with rockets.

      1. The Wellerman

        Wait, I don’t remember those from Doctor Who. Source / Sauce please?

        1. RassilonTDavros

          State of Decay, from Tom Baker’s final season.

  7. Yumi

    I don’t even like Malaya that much, but I am emotional about them binding. (Which I assume is happening in this strip. They did say “all of November,” day before seems like it’s quite possible too.)

    1. The Wellerman

      Binding?

      1. Nathan

        I assume that’s supposed to be “bonding”?

        1. Yumi

          No.

        2. Laura

          Chest binding.

      2. Yumi

        As in wearing a chest binder.

        1. The Wellerman

          Oh yeah! Even tho Malaya’s not the most agreeable character in the world, I do agree it’s really good to get some non-binary rep like this in the comic! ?

          (now if only any of them identified explicitly as gender-fluid, or at least strongly hinted at it)

        2. Vanessa

          Booster?

        3. Laura

          I get the impression that Booster might. For example, when they commented that they got paired with the wrong twin, implying that they might feel comfortable enough in either wing. Just a sense – I could be wrong.

          Here’s the strip on Malaya:
          https://www.dumbingofage.com/2020/comic/book-11/01-this-bright-millennium/pronouns/

          Doonesbury had a strip recently on gender fluidity, but I wasn’t particularly impressed with it. (Seemed to conflate sexual orientation with gender identity.) Anyway, feel free to check it out — your mileage may vary.
          https://www.gocomics.com/doonesbury/2022/06/19

        4. Derek

          I don’t think this is a good Doonesbury strip to represent their characters being gender-nonconforming, especially since it’s Zonk’s nephew being stupid in-character.
          A better example would be BD’s and Boopsie’s child coming out as non-binary. It was in one of the Sunday strips, I can try to find if you’re curious

        5. Laura

          Thanks, Derek. Yeah, you’re right, it was a silly strip and didn’t really take the topic seriously. (The whole premise of their storyline about “gay cannabis” is just really cringeworthy and inappropriate, too.) I apologize for mentioning it. I meant no offense, but I still should have thought more carefully about the potential effect of reposting such an insensitive take.

          Derek, I hadn’t seen that strip about Sam. I usually try to catch every Sunday strip. If you happen to have the URL I’d love to see it. I recall Sam’s mentioning Sam’s non-binary roommates, but not an actual self-disclosure. Would be great to learn more about a great character.

          Thank you all for this discussion! 🙂

        6. Yumi

          I didn’t exactly think that’s what Booster meant by that comment– just that Sal was cool. But also, “comfortable enough in either wing” wouldn’t necessarily translate to gender-fluid. I’d also think it’s possible that, if Booster preferred the “girls'” wing, that might not be easily available to them.

        7. Laura

          You’re right, Yumi. Sorry about that. It was just a guess.

        8. The Wellerman

          Re: strip (actually the one before it), eh, seems a bit of a stretch extrapolating from this that Booster is gender-fluid, it could just as easily imply they’re attracted romantically or even sexually to Sal or even just wants to be friends with her for reasons other than their particular kind of NB. Nothing on you tho, I just don’t like assuming gender in general.

          Re:doonesbury, yeah it DEFINITELY confuses being gender-fluid with fluid of sexuality, go figure. LGBTQ = “adult content”, WHAT? Sorry, again, nothing on you Laura, just that, this comic is not only inaccurate but also a little cringe to me for multiple reasons.

        9. Devin

          The “adult content” comment is a direct dig at Florida, not something presented in earnest.

        10. Laura

          Exactly, the “Don’t Say Gay” bill. Thanks, Devin.

        11. Laura

          Well, yeah, definitely. I wrote to them and pointed out their errors, but they didn’t publish my comment. As I said, I find the strip problematic — just posting it because any references at all to gender fluidity are few and far between in popular media. Certainly not endorsing it.

          Yeah, sure, you’re right, attributing gender fluidity to Booster is a stretch, I agree. Never assume. It was just my ‘dar pinging a bit, is all. ‘dar can be wrong.

        12. The Wellerman

          Oh noes, I am now reminded that that bill exists. ?

          Also, thank you for engaging in open honest discussion like this Laura, means a lot. Especially given how unfortunately rare gender fluidity is referenced in popular media. But honestly, I’d rather much they not bring it up than get it really wrong, but that’s just me.

          Wonder why they didn’t publish your comment on Doonesbury? ?

        13. Devin

          This one from 2016 does a bit better.

        14. Laura

          Oh, yeah, that is a good one! Thanks! Good eye.
          🙂

        15. The Wellerman

          Ah, is this supposed to reference “the journey IS the destination”? If so, I hope readers gleamed that.

          Funny enough, in terms of astrophysics, a journey actually can be a destination — the equation of a satellite’s orbital path around a celestial object is often treated just like a coordinate when planning journeys to the moon and other planets! ?

        16. a/snow/mous/e

          *gleaned, just fyi

  8. Speedball

    Hey, Malaya is binded as they said! Heh.

  9. Nono

    I have to wonder how ‘good’ Joyce is at writing. What little we’ve heard about her ‘Grayverse’ just sounds like terrible tropes, characters who have no conflict, and Mary Sues.

    But then again, she’s 18. Not everyone’s writing Eragon.

    1. Schpoonman

      That is a dig at Eragon, right? I know it’s awful but dammit if it doesn’t have a special place in my heart, at least for Angela, Saphira, and Nasuada. I was just thinking about the lace scheme from Eldest earlier today.

      But wow Eragon, Roran, and especially–oh, hell, I’m blanking on the elf’s name, shit. Aria? Okay, Googling… Arya. Damn, thought that was going to return Game of Thrones. Anyway, it’s not good that I blanked on the third-most-important character’s name.

      1. Nono

        The lace scheme WAS pretty good. It was notable that I was way more interested in the Nasuada side than the Eragon side of the books, though.

        I will give Paolini this though, nobody sells four novels (and I think there was another one yet afterwards) that easily, and they were pretty hefty novels, too.

        1. sdrainbow

          Well, the first one was on the back of a publishing company owned by his parents, and the rest sailed on the acclaim he got from that.

          But it is an accomplishment nonetheless.

    2. Bridgebrain

      She could be an AMAZING writer that also uses every terrible trope to maximum over the top ridiculous effect. Quality of writing can be completely disconnected from content sometimes, especially in the fanfic community (or bodice rippers)

    3. Thag Simmons

      The Grayverse definitely seems like the sort of embarrassing early work that a lot of writers have, amateurish and derivative.

    4. Devin

      It’s very clearly wish-fulfillment writing (whether or not Joyce is admitting that to herself), so for the purposes of what’s being written, the quality of the prose is pretty irrelevant, it’s definitely achieving its goal.

      We already know from what she’s said aloud as she typed that at least some of her prose is not the most sophisticated, but I push back against the idea that that necessarily means it isn’t “good”.

      1. Clif

        If people enjoy it, then it’s good.

      2. Thag Simmons

        We’ve already had a few characters say vaguely nice things about her work, so even though it probably isn’t good yet, she’s on the path for it to get good

    5. Fay

      I assume it’s on par with the early Walkyverse stuff, just catering to a teenage girl’s interests instead of whatever Willis’s interests were when he started making comics. Maybe a lot more wish-fulfillment-y, though.

    6. Sam

      I loved Eragon, enough to want to name a cat Arya but because I didn’t know how to pronounce it so I was probably saying it wrong, we did not. Then every book became so lore heavy with names that I couldn’t remember, that I have forgotten 99% of it.

    7. Keulen

      I liked Eragon until I realized it was just Star Wars except set in a fantasy world instead of space. And while I like Star Wars, it’s kinda ridiculous that the writer of the Eragon books made so much money when he took the same plot and just gave the characters different names and stuck them in a fantasy setting.

      1. Taellosse

        I could’ve forgiven repainting Star Wars’ plotline if that’s all he’d ripped off (Lucas hardly trod unexplored ground himself, after all), but even the replacement names he used for people and places were painfully derivative – I remember looking over the map and realizing some big city was something from Tolkien spelled backwards, and another location had the same name as a Tolkien character with a single letter changed.

        Eragon ended up being one of the first books I decided wasn’t worth suffering through – I couldn’t bring myself to care enough about any of it to keep slogging through somebody else’s sophomoric prose. Presumably Paolini has grown more skilled at the craft of writing since then, but I think most writers are fortunate that the material they produce as a teenager is never printed.

  10. Sterling

    Prediction: next strip, Sal will be like “wait Malaya who are YOU dressed as” and Malaya will say that she’s too cool for Halloween and Sal’s eye will twitch.

  11. C.T. Phipps

    Malaya has had to work at it but she’s finally got into Sal’s brain.

    1. Sirksome

      They didn’t really Malaya’s been pissing Sal off since day 1. They’re Sal’s Kryptonite.

      1. C.T. Phipps

        Yes but Sal mostly shrugged off her digs.

        Now she’s living rent free in Sal’s head.

        1. Taellosse

          I’m not sure how much of it is Malaya’s effort and how much is the fact that Sal’s best friend is crushing hard on them – Sal feels obliged not to shrug Malaya off anymore, but doesn’t know how to cultivate any sort of positive relationship with someone that rubs her the wrong way so consistently.

  12. Caro

    awww. this is so cute

  13. Robbie

    In this moment, Sal had three options: borrow a vest and dress as joyce, admit Malaya was right, or dress as some dork’s OC.

    1. Proxiehunter

      And she picked the worst option.

      1. Clif

        If you admit Malaya is right, it’s like feeding gremlins.

      2. Deanatay

        Sal, Panel 5: WHAT HAVE I BECOME

  14. Francoinblanco

    When I grow up I will too suplex space vampires just like Julia Grey

  15. Sirksome

    Sal out here being fake as fuck ya dig.

    1. Taffy

      She’s only being defensive because Malaya constantly has her on the back foot with these stupid accusations.

      1. sdrainbow

        Stupid and yet accurate

        1. Taffy

          Nope. Nope nope nope. Not gonna explain myself cuz I’m too drunk but noooooooope. Malaya Wrong 300%. Hot but Wrong

  16. Nono

    Honestly, the biggest dunk Sal could do is to say she was gonna dress as Malaya.

  17. pope suburban

    Huh. I feel like this is the first time I’ve ever seen Malaya be nice to anyone? They’re being pretty decent to Joyce, as far as I can tell unprompted, in the first panels here. That’s a welcome change.

    1. hazel

      They’re only ever “mean” to Sal, which I personally think is warranted after being called a c*mstain early on in their interactions. But neither is uh doing good at this “getting along.”

      1. hazel

        Forget that, they’re also mean to Mary, but I think that’s fine too.

        Don’t believe me about the rest? They asked for Booster’s name before introducing themselves when Booster was being paraded around, and gave them a handshake. How people introduce themselves is important and part of one’s character.

        If there’s to be a discussion I’d rather base it around the people Malaya’s been nice to. I mean, Marcie hangs out with both for a reason, right? Sal and Malaya are fundamentally good.

        1. Taffy

          Basing a conversation around who people are nice to inherently erases the people they’re absolute dogshit to, please.

        2. Schpoonman

          Marcie hangs out with Malaya because she wants to fuck Malaya, not because she’s seen some hidden core of gold that could be brought out.

        3. pope suburban

          Idk, the way they followed up meeting Booster with a pretty condescending speech about gender identity was…well, it was something, and I think a little harder to parse correctly and/or laugh off if you’re not familiar with Malaya (or to an extent, the whole group). They’re not very decent to Lucy, either. Though weirdly, peeking back through the archive, Carla seems to get better-than-standard treatment, so this is definitely not the actual first time Malaya has been neutral-to-pleasant.

          I guess Malaya just generally comes off as someone who is maybe not very secure, specifically with regards to the “exploitable character flaw” Sal mentioned to Marcie, and they seem to be dealing with it by disengaging from everything and trying not to care. That’s not wildly unusual, especially when you’re an adolescent, and I think most people grow out of it. Malaya may well. But in the now, the way their stuff is manifesting is also not exactly going to make them popular, and I can’t fault the rest of the cast for not wanting to be around someone who just just nasty and dismissive to them all the time. They don’t even register on the Ross-Blaine asshole scale, not by a long shot, but they wouldn’t be my first or tenth pick to grab lunch, either.

      2. Yumi

        Lucy

        1. hazel

          Lucy’s unfazed and seems to see it as friendship.

        2. Taffy

          That makes it okay to be hateful

    2. anon

      her and sal’s relationship almost seems cartoonishly hostile but marcie does see similarities (“clearly i have a type”) but wonder if they would’ve gotten along if it there wasn’t an issue between the three of them or they’d just be aloof to each other since sal doesn’t seem to go outta her way to pick fights with anyone else for the most part

  18. Suet

    And this is why committing to any bit is hard
    Like relationships

    Imagined vs. actual casting be like that sometimes, but who’s gonna dress up as the President

    1. Needfuldoer

      Serious answer: Dorothy, whether she intends to or not.

  19. StClair

    Poor Sal, stabbed not by Amber’s knife, but Morton’s Fork.

    1. Laura

      Had to look that one up:
      https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Morton%27s_fork

      1. Clif

        Familiar with the concept, though I knew it as Zelazny’s Feathers or Lead.

        1. HeatherJean

          I’ve always thought that it a trick question since the actual weight of “a pound of gold” depends on whether you mean troy or avoirdupois.

  20. Bryy

    oh god i forgot Malaya existed.

    1. RassilonTDavros

      No one expects the Malaya Inquisition.

    2. The Wellerman

      Oh my, I sure hope her being forgettable like this doesn’t affect NB / questioning rep that much!

    3. Taffy

      Last I remember of Malaya was the Slipshine. That’s about where Malaya peaked.

      1. The Wellerman

        Hey me too. That said, we really need more non-binaries in porn ?

        1. Taffy

          Rather not have that as a fetish tag honestly, and not only because the comments on those videos would be a nightmare.

        2. The Wellerman

          Eh, I just think it’s good to have NB rep in general, porn or not. Personally I wouldn’t mind Booster in a slipshine or even another one involving Malaya, but that’s just me. I think.

          Re:tag, yeah you have a point there. But I can think of an even worse one that applies to both of us. ? (best not mention it here tho, don’t wanna cringe storm)

        3. Taffy

          I have absolutely no idea what you’re talking about. I don’t need to know what’s in Booster’s pants, and sometimes that’s The Point. I also don’t know what sort of tag you think applies to me in a pornographic context, but you need to drop that line of thought immediately and never pick it back up again in any context.

        4. The Wellerman

          Re:tag, much agreed. The one I was thinking about wasn’t necessarily sexual in nature though, at least no more than a feature like height or interest in FF14. If it exists, it’s someone’s fetish, and it need not be sex or gender related to be weapons grade cringe. I’ll definitely not bring it up again, if also because I don’t want to think about one of my worse nightmares.

          Re: Booster, who said we need to know what’s in their pants for said slipshine to happen? Fanservice finds a way….

        5. Taffy

          Still 300% lost and not especially optimistic about any further explanation so… I’m out.

        6. The Wellerman

          Good. Best not to think about it.

          Re: Booster, you think Booster couldn’t be in some kind of ero material, if not a one-frame like Mary or Sierra?

        7. Taffy

          I’m really not gonna speculate on Booster’s pornability. It’s weird.

        8. The Wellerman

          I don’t know what you were picturing, but I was thinking of like a cheesecake of some kind where they arouse themselves their fetish (which may or may not involve photography or psychology). It could quite possibly be in a regular strip or tweet, too.

          I know it’s not quite your cup of tea, but hey, a space parasite can dream.

        9. Taffy

          I wasn’t picturing anything and didn’t need to know what you were.

        10. The Wellerman

          Alright, I see your ideal cup of tea needs more ginger and/or maple, so how’s this for speculation:

          What would be the best thing to do with a cel-shaded Ruth model, if said model existed?

        11. Taffy

          Put her in Jet Set Radio idk

        12. The Wellerman

          What if this hypothetical model was fully featured? Unless Jet Set Radio has some features I’m not aware of? ?

        13. Yumi

          The Wellerman, I definitely think you missed some signals here. Like, giant, flashing, “need to stop” signals.

        14. The Wellerman

          I think you are right. Thanks Yumi.

          Sorry Taffy. I really wish I picked that up earlier.

          If its any consolation, my seriousness about that Ruth model is directly proportional to your desire for it.

        15. eh, whatever

          You know, The Wellerman, sometimes it’s really exhausting how extroverted you are – yes, even just reading it.

        16. The Wellerman

          I’m sorry. I really don’t mean to be. I’m not even that much extroverted, it’s just that a lot of topics I can really only talk about only here. Not to mention that in this particular case, Taffy and I are actually close friends, and ideally I would have had this conversation elsewhere, if not for a particular can of worms I’m not gonna open here.

          That said, I REALLY hate making an arse of myself like this and inconveniencing others. Between my neurodivergence and my rough time growing up, I seldom got the privilege of modeling my social interactions after genuinely healthy people. More than anything I wish for a universal instruction guide on interacting with people that I can follow down to the letter to ensure I don’t make an arse of myself or upset others ever again. But I learned the hard way there is no such instruction guide, that the only real way to learn how to interact with people is to actually go out and do it, make mistakes, get (ideally constructive) feedback, and slowly steadily learn from it, even if it’s painful.

          Amidst the vast number of online communities out there where folks and moderators are far less accepting and forgiving than they are around here, I am very grateful for all your patience and Willis’ mercy.

          (BTW super sorry for this text wall, some things can’t be explained in less than 140 characters, at least not without risk of even more misunderstanding)

        17. Laura

          Hi NG,

          I don’t know if this helps, but I also struggle figuring out the right things to say and not to say. As y’all have seen, I often get it wrong and make mistakes.

          One thing I’m working on (and often failing at, but still trying) is to follow the advice of Burr in the Hamilton musical: “Talk less. Smile more.” Dunno if it would work for you, but I spend a lot of time writing things and then deleting them. Just trying to insert a moment of mindfulness in what I write, a little delay, and ask myself, “Does what I am saying NEED to be said right now? How do my words here lift up and affirm the words of others? Will my speech help others in some way, or do I just want to hear myself talk?” Again, I don’t often live UP to that ideal, but it’s nonetheless an ideal that I do try to hold in mind, even when I slip up.

    4. Devin

      I enjoy forgetting that Malaya exists. Their form of bullying is way too familiar for me and it just puts me off whenever they show up.

  21. BBCC

    Ahhhh, yes, Malaya’s need to be a contrarian asshole (where’s your costume, sweetie? I rest my case) and Sal’s need to spite them. The times those needs clash are beautiful.

  22. Sirksome

    Honestly Sal needs to learn to not feed into this. Malaya’s opinion on anything isn’t worth the words necessary to say it. Who cares if Malaya of all people thinks you’re being fake or acting too cool?

    1. Devin

      It’s hard to not feed into it when literally anything she says is turned against her. I imagine silence would be treated the same way. Malaya is a bully, and good at what they do.

      1. StClair

        Yup. (They’ve had a lot of practice.)

      2. Cerusee

        And it’s her *living situation*. It’s extremely difficult not to interact with someone when you share a fucking *bedroom* with them, and they don’t respect your clear desire not to talk to them.

        The antagonism may be mutual, but one of them is being way more aggressive about pursuing it than the other. Sal’s MO when she’s confronted with people she dislikes is avoidance (which makes total sense given her history; she’s learned the hard way she can’t count on adult authority to support her, which come to think of it is probably why *she* hasn’t bothered with a room transfer request that we know of). Malaya’s MO is a steady stream of verbal provocation.

    2. Laura

      It’s odd, but I’ve always found Malaya simply charming. Her and Carla. Faves. I don’t see them as bothersome at all.

      As Sal said to Amaz-Amber, “I thought you might need a friend. So I brought Malaya.”

      1. StClair

        I think you might have a different take if you were forced to room with them, and they found ways to criticize literally everything you do. Everything.

        1. Laura

          Huh. Weird, my reply got lost.

          StClair, I’m sure I would have a different take. I appreciate you for pointing it out. I just meant that the characters are enjoyable reads, is all.

  23. JA

    Oh Sal…why do you allow Malaya to live in your head so easily?

    1. Needfuldoer

      Has she already forgotten how easy it is to exploit Malaya’s contrarian reflexes?

      https://www.dumbingofage.com/2019/comic/book-9-comic/04-vote-for-robin/exploitable/

    2. Taffy

      It’s always exactly as easy as “don’t let them” and there is no such thing as nuance to these situations.

    3. Reaver

      Yeah, I just dont get why victims of bullying just let their bullies get to them! they really just need to steel themselves better and learn to ignore the bully causing them mental irritation, stupid person being bullied needs to learn to change how they react to negative behavior!

      The bully wouldnt have to bully them if they weren’t so easy to bully!

      ( /s)

    4. Taffy

      Also they fucking live together. What’s Sal got as recourse, not coming home at night? She was there first and Malaya only changed rooms because Lucy wasn’t a fun enough victim, so fuck Sal for existing I guess.

  24. Derek

    I thought Sal was not so visibly bothered by people’s comments about her appearance or cool factor. I mean, they do bother her but she was much better at hiding it.
    Internalizing these feelings is not great, but being THIS transparent about them bothering you is also not healthy. Sal, you ok girl? what happened that a dumb comment from Malaya sends you on a tailspin like this?

    1. Wraithy2773

      I think she *generally* isn’t bothered, but she has a few weak spots, and Malaya manages to hit them all, all at once, without even really trying.

    2. Sirksome

      Malaya’s pretty relentless that’s why. Any answer Sal gives is the wrong answer. Either she’s too cool and thus thinks she’s better than everybody or she’s being a fake poser if she does the opposite. This happening essentially every time they talk has slowly eroded Sal’s tolerance. I’d almost say it’s psychological torture.

      1. Taffy

        It’s just straight-up bullying, but Malaya seems to get a pass for being hot and gender-meh.

      2. pope suburban

        Also, at least right here, I think Sal is bothered by the way Malaya is disparaging something that is clearly very important to Joyce. Sal is a very loyal friend, and Joyce in particular has gone out of her way to meet Sal on her own terms, rather than projecting a bunch of stuff onto her. That probably doesn’t feel too good, and might motivate Sal to support the party as a way of supporting a friend.

  25. AbacusWizard

    Space vampires, or “spampires” as they say

    1. Nova

      Vampirates is already a thing, so why not! lmao

    2. Jaime

      The spampires travel from planet to planet, denuding each of of the planetary supply of Spam (or appropriate planetary equivalent). ?

      1. Taffy

        Every planet with sapient life will eventually replicate exactly Spam, tin and all, regardless of what form that life takes, especially the ones with sentient gravel.

        1. The Wellerman

          A whole universe of potential deliciousness!!!! Yummy yummy yummy!!!! ??

    3. Devin

      Hey, how do you kill a tall vampire?

      1. Taffy

        Raise the stakes? Can’t read the HTML thing on a phone.

        1. Devin

          Yup!

          It’s one of my favorite jokes.

        2. milu

          Hey, how do vampires like their stakes?

          Rare!

        3. milu

          Hey, what’s the vampire fashion capital?

          …Cape Town!

          Hey, what do you call it when a hippie vampire asks to be cremated in their vehicle?

          …A van pyre!

          Hey, How do vampires arrange their furniture?

          …According to Fang Shui!

          Hey, why is this vampire holding a whistle?

          …They’re refereeing the vtennis game

          Hey, what do you say to get someone to stop telling atrocious vampire jokes?

          …You suck at that vein of humour

        4. JBento

          Did you know that all vampires are very prone to having lung problems? They just keep coughin.

        5. milu

          nice XD

          Hey, speaking of vampires, have you read Delusion, by Hong Jacga?

          …that wasn’t a joke, it’s just a sick comic with some nasty-ass vamps in it. the art is so… crisp. nom nom

        6. milu

          aight vampire joke vampire joke.

          Q: which mythical being does not produce a reflection?

          A: all of them ahahah

        7. JBento

          I have not.

          Vampires don’t really add much to stories, anyway. They’re just a bunch of fangers-on.

        8. milu

          You make vampires sound like soulless bloodsuckers!

          …which is not quite the biting observation you think it is.

        9. JBento

          I bet you were just chomping at the bit to use that line.

        10. Taffy

          That’s a horse joke. Horses (probably) aren’t vampires.

        11. milu

          well, you know the vampire rules. You get bit, you get turned.

          And vampire bats are known to feed on large mammals such as horses, so…

        12. The Wellerman

          Where do vampires file for loans? ?

        13. Devin

          At the blood bank!

        14. The Wellerman

          ?

  26. Mr. Random

    I dislike Malaya, but she really does nail Sal’s cooler-than-thou everything persona.

    Because she (they?) just exasperates it.

    1. Proxiehunter

      Someone above linked to the comic where she identified as “She/They/Whatever”.

      1. Proxiehunter

        Sounds like Malaya’s not gender fluid or gender neutral she’s gender apathetic.

        1. Taffy

          Not all of us are Like That, I swear.

        2. milu

          Well they are wearing a binder, so I have to assume they care at least somewhat

    2. Thag Simmons

      It’s probably because Malaya also has a cooler-than-everything persona

    3. Sam

      Well, not really. Because every reason and motive that Malaya gives for it is usually wrong, malicious and/or stupid. As if Sal can’t possibly actually be distant and aloof even though she is actually just a distant and aloof person most of the time. And Malaya just brings out spitefulness.

    4. Devin

      Why does it need to be “nailed” though?

      I see absolutely no benefit to the way Malaya treats Sal. It’s just bullying.

  27. Taffy

    Malaya should shut the fuck up and stop trying to fit Sal in a stupid little box. Sal should give up on trying to convince Malaya of anything, because clearly it’s not gonna happen so why bother. Some people just decide you’re A Specific Way and nothing you say or do can change their minds, and they’re not worth the time of day.

    1. The Wellerman

      Something tells me there’s a part of Sal that really wants to believe that, but has a hard time because of what she’s been through. I really relate and sympathize with her this way.

    2. Devin

      Pretty sure even silence would be used against Sal. Malaya is too good at twisting anything they observe to use against Sal. The only solution to something like this is removal from the situation, and I don’t see that happening, mostly because a transfer request from Sal (aside from taking ages to process) would remove her from the primary dorm focus of the comic.

      1. StClair

        and even then, there would still be the Marcie connection, as I noted above. (Though that might not last long if and when Marcie finally figures out that Malaya will never ever be into her that way.)

        1. Taffy

          Be pretty fucked up if Marcie was fine ditching Sal for her bully. Hope she has the sense to do like Joe did and follow Norman Osborn’s advice from the Thanksgiving scene in Spider-Man (2002).

        2. Sirksome

          I don’t think she’ll ever ditch Sal for Malaya. Marcie’s made it clear she doesn’t like Malaya more than Sal but Malaya is romantically available in a way Sal isn’t because Sal is straight. Marcie just didn’t like the fact she was Sal’s only friend and single-handedly holding the burden of her emotional and social support network over chances to meet other people and maybe get laid.

        3. Dandi Andi

          Are you sure? Because I’m not sure.

          https://www.dumbingofage.com/2019/comic/book-9-comic/04-vote-for-robin/toldme/

        4. StClair

          Good point… honestly, it’s been long enough that I’d forgotten it was Carla who was sex-repulsed, not Malaya. So I suppose it’s possible.

  28. brionl

    Is it a sexy werewolf?
    Enquiring minds want to know.

    1. Clif

      In space there’s always a full moon. So it’s kind of irrelevant.

      1. Taffy

        Fuck the moon anyway. That piece of crap freeloading rock needs to start contributing before we cut it out of the deal entirely. So fucking tired of looking up and oops, I guess the lazy fuckin moon has decided to only be a crescent tonight, how fucking convenient that it gets to pick and choose. Some of us don’t have that luxury, but I guess the Moon has always been the golden child so who cares if it flunked out of six schools, won’t get a job, and refuses to at least monetize all those fucking livestreams to help with some of these bills. Sick and tired of the moon just getting everything it wants when I’m stuck here in 6-year-old Skechers that have holes in them and a malnutrition gut because I can afford rice and nothing else while Mom and Dad keep taking the Moon out for Chinese every fuckin weekend. But hey, the Moon drew a cute picture in the 10th grade and then never again, so that art career should be picking up any day now, right?
        /rant /moon

        1. junesky

          The intensity of this comment had me nearly crying laughing

    2. milu

      Taylor Tomlinson is sort of a sexy werewolf

      (I’ve just been fawning over Taylor Tomlinson lately, expect to see me plug her stand-up every chance I get in the future)

      1. Schpoonman

        My best friend talked about her stand-up for months, it somehow went in one ear and out the other, and just recently I saw a few of her clips on YouTube, pissed myself laughing, and then tried to send my friend clips like I had made a discovery.

        So weird how chickens can ninja their way into apartments, am I right?

        1. milu

          I… i don’t get it

          are you best friends with Taylor Tomlinson

          what is this ninja chicken business

          i know all the words but they’re not adding up to make happy brain chemicals???

        2. Schpoonman

          My best friend told me about TT by name and I completely spaced. I’m not huge on stand-up comedy with some specific exceptions so it didn’t stick in my brain like when someone mentions a band or video game. One day while browsing YouTube I came upon a TT video and she instantly became one of my exceptions, and she has the exact style that I know my best friend would love (because she’d already recommended TT) and I, like an idiot, sent my friend the TT video. There was laughter at my expense, but I was happy to pay it.

          The ninja chickens is a dumb reference to the expression “egg on my face” which means I’ve made a fool of myself.

          Sorry, sometimes translating thoughts into communcation is hard for me even in my preferred format.

        3. milu

          oh my god whoaaa no no this one’s totally on me. (well except for the chicken bit because yeah, that would never have made sense) i guess my brain is just fried by overwork (or i guess, over[work+procrastination], you all know what i mean) and i just went down some different tree of meaning at the first sentence and simply couldn’t trace my way back

          (…i thought your best friend (who, in this reading, is a she) had told you about her OWN stand-up but you didn’t care (rude but ok) and so didn’t watch any of your own friend’s work for months; and THEN finally at some point ended up watching her (your best friend’s) videos, and then you sent THAT to… some other friend, idk. so obviously the whole thing, let alone the reason you were posting this as a response to my comment about TT, was incredibly esoteric to me. anyway, i believe i win the ninja chicken competition)

        4. milu

          my bad, that was a relevant and fairly hilarious anecdote, also hi, nice to meet you fellow TT stan
          ?

  29. Orangey

    I am a big Malaya fan, everyone really takes these strips with them way too seriously

  30. Imogen

    I think Malaya is fun and funny and nothing but sincere Malaya enjoyment is allowed below this post.

    1. milu

      Maaaalayaaaaaa malalalalalalaaaaa yalayalaya

  31. Taffy

    Like, Malaya’s sexy and all but the weird personal vendettas against people need to Just Stop.

    1. Needfuldoer

      But they’re being fakey!

      1. Taffy

        As we all know, human beings can only Be One Thing at a time. Anything else is a betrayal of the self and requires Fixing.

        1. Devin

          And only Malaya can know anyone’s true self, making them the true and final arbiter of who is fakey.

        2. Taffy

          Hopefully college beats the shittiness out of that kid. Probably we won’t see the results but y’know.

  32. milu

    Malaya: sweet, I’m dressing up as a space vampire then

    1. The Wellerman

      That would be dangerously hot. ?

  33. Sharaku

    Sal remembered the name of Joyce’s fictional character in full the first time she heard it. She’s a good friend.

  34. C.T. Phipps

    Let’s be frank, Sal, you can’t skate so you’ll never be as cool as Malaya.

    🙂

    1. Taffy

      Sal can skate, what are you saying about

    2. JBento

      Truly, look at this klutz: https://www.dumbingofage.com/2014/comic/book-5/01-when-somebody-loved-me/humiliate/

  35. Reaver

    Ugh Malaya, cute character design, written well… cannot stand their character, such a freaking bully and people clamour to justify why its totally okay because they like her.

    Cool beans

    1. Taffy

      Bullying is okay if the bully is hot and the victim is upset by it because being upset means they hit a nerve which means the bully is right which means the victim is the bully. I want Malaya to be hit repeatedly in the face until the hotness goes away so people stop justifying terrible fucking behavior. It’s okay to repeatedly put a person in a box and verbally beat the piss out of them without even the slightest provocation for infinity because they said “cum” once nine years ago until they literally kill their self because that’s the only way they can find out of the box, as long as you got a big ass and act like you know anything about amything

      1. Taffy

        Oops sorry didn’t mean to say the quiet part

        1. Reaver

          -snirk- Its cool, I wont tell~

        2. Taffy

          Definitely isn’t a very raw nerve being hit at just the wrong time by this strip, promise.

        3. Reaver

          Your feelings are yours to have, I’m sorry the comics poking a nerve at the wrong time though, you have my empathy

        4. Taffy

          Things happen, I ain’t beat up about it

        5. Reaver

          That they do, that they do indeed

        6. Devin

          I feel this in a big way.

    2. thejeff

      Honestly, there seem to be a lot more people in the comments bashing Malaya than liking them, including several talking about how everyone defends them because they’re hot.

      Personally I think they got more interesting with the “Am I fakey?” revelation and want to see the character development that leads to.

      1. milu

        yeah… i get the hatefest (character reminds you of real person you hate => you hate on character => cathartis)

        but also… ugh, nah it’s not worth it.

        take care of yourselves babies. punch nazis. be gay and do crime. anatomically-correct-heart emoji

        1. milu

          (i meant the rant i was about to embark on is not worth it.)
          (y’all keep on going off)
          (i’m not judging your choice of rants)
          (rock’n’roll fingers emoji)

      2. Devin

        I was hoping for that to cause some introspection, but that was three books ago (and before the timeskip), the strip immediately following it just breezed on past any further questioning, and we’ve seen no change in her behavior, so I’ve been pretty disappointed on that front.

        1. StClair

          I haven’t been disappointed, but only because I never got my hopes up in the first place. 😐
          I doubt Malaya will have much (or any) measurable character growth or change over the course of this comic, occasional flickers of self-awareness notwithstanding.

        2. thejeff

          Yeah, she’s not main cast and doesn’t get a lot of character development time.

    3. Keulen

      I liked Malaya in the Walkyverse, because at least there she had some decent qualities. In this universe she seems to be just a jerk who (for reasons I still don’t understand) can’t just let Sal do what she wants.

  36. CJ

    I read this *Gravyverse* at first and was thoroughly confused.
    Yes, most of what we know about Joyce‘s universe sounds like a compilation all the things that were forbidden when she was a child, so just the stories she’d have loved to read as a child.
    I bet there’s a market for it, there’s a whole generation of Joyces out there.
    (Now I wonder if this will show up as a reply or not, the comment box jumped to the bottom in mid-write.)

    1. Devin

      The Gravyverse is a restaurant AU [jus] of the Grayverse.

  37. Chris (the other one)

    And the werewolf has a biiiig di….

    whoops, sorry about that, got carried away

    1. Reaver

      Ig site to extract fossils from? 😀

    2. milu

      …isco ball they like to bring to any party however they may be themed?

      1. Reaver

        Ctionary so they can expand their vocabulary? 😮

        1. milu

          …ss track about Space Captain Julia Gray, she’s so mad about it especially since it plays ALL THE TIME thanks to the werewolf’s boyfriend, who DJs for the most-listened radio show in the galaxy and who just can’t refuse them anything because they are sooooo thirsty for the werewolf’s biiiiig di…

        2. Taffy

          ck that’s shaped like every Tetris piece at once.

        3. The Wellerman

          Is that ck the size of an electron? ’cause that right there sounds like a Tetris shape super-position! ?

  38. Rabisch

    I don’t like to agree with Malaya, but this time she’s totally right. Sal, what are you doing???

    1. CrazyJ

      Malaya isn’t wearing a costume either, so she is no position to talk.

      1. Rabisch

        Malaya is not the one grabbing her jacket pretending is a costume.

  39. Zaxares

    What costume are YOU wearing then, Malaya? 😛

    Seriously though, there’s nothing wrong with going costume-less if that’s really not your thing. Never force someone to do something they’re not comfortable with. It’s perfectly fine to go to a Halloween party dressed as normal.

  40. King Dragoon

    Once again Maylaya shows up and the second she opens her mouth I feel like suplexing her into the sun.

  41. Cerusee

    Joyce’s delighted squeal in the background is my happy place for the morning.

  42. crow

    Why does Sal want Malaya’s approval so bad?

    1. Spriteless Aunty

      Perhaps Malaya reminds her of her mother, what with the constant judgement for the appearance of sin.

    2. Nevermaker

      I think it’s less that Sal wants Malaya’s approval and more that Malaya tends to get under her skin with all their criticism, and Sal’s reflexive response to stuff like that is “yeah well I’ll show YOU”.

  43. Amós Batista

    What the hell is happening today: Malaya being nice to Joyce?

  44. AlexaSpuds

    lol, here’s some examples of equally valid and, in my opinion, better responses that Sal could’ve used:
    “blow it out your ass” and/or “fuck off shithead”
    “I forgot to buy a costume”
    “wait who are you again?”
    “I just don’t really wanna dress up today, I don’t feel like it”
    “you voice is as grating as a squeaky door, maybe if you swallow a gallon of oil it’ll fix it”
    “*pretending Malaya does not exist*”
    “yes I am too cool”
    “what’re you dressed as then, sarin gas? cuz that would be a pretty good explanation as to why everyone wants to die when they’re around you”

    like I don’t get why Sal keeps playing into Malaya’s endless annoyingness.
    like, I guess maybe being aloof and distant made it hard for her to deal with people that get under her skin because she solved most of her problems by running from them or punching them, and she can’t really do either in this case

    1. Schpoonman

      For all Sal’s bravado she actually is quite insecure. It’s the reason she (and me IRL) isolates herself so much. Humans are social creatures, so she doesn’t like to separate herself from people entirely, and it just so happens that her best friend’s big crush is a shrieking asshole. Seriously, I’m about to rank her behind Mary as “second-least harmful villain in the cast.”

      1. StClair

        | it just so happens that her best friend’s big crush is a shrieking asshole.

        This. This is the worst part.
        (except I don’t see her as the “shrieking” sort, that’s more… Mary, probably? Malaya’s just a constant fount of surly negativity and accusation.)

        1. Schpoonman

          My personal experience with this type of person (though he had a very Mike-type “I’m being a horrible piece of shit to help you, can’t you see that?”) is that a constant low level eventually starts leaving DoT stacks so that even though the active volume doesn’t increase the damage ramps up all the same.

    2. Taffy

      I learned what sarin gas was when I was 5-ish by playing Command & Conquer: Red Alert – Retaliation on the PS1. In a cutscenes, one of the characters says “Sarin nerve gas. The Soviets love it. It’s colourless, odorless, but it sure as hell ain’t painless.”. Parents had a very frank discussion with me about gasses and other chemical weapons, once I asked for a little more info, which was definitely an experience. Dad was in the Gulf War, don’t ya know it, so it was a very detailed explanation, complete with vivid descriptions of the before, during, and after of a sarin attack, not even slightly dumbed down for a wee bab in kindergarten. Very educational, that. It didn’t really make the idea any less horrifying, but it did demystify the concept in a young mind.

      Anyway your comparison between Malaya and sarin reminded me of that little anecdote, thought I might share.

      1. milu

        ouch.
        well i guess if you’re old enough to be playing war games, then you’re old enough to be told plainly what the game you’re playing is literally about.

        1. Taffy

          Yeah, “ouch” is right. Nerve gas is scary, which is what I assume you were responding to. And also yeah, it’s really never too early to tell your kids the truth about the media they’re absorbing. I was never coddled in that department; if I had a genuine question they could answer, it almost always got answered with no sugar-coating because they knew I was smart enough to comprehend it on at least a solid basic level.

  45. Username Taken

    Malaya continues to suck whenever she isn’t interacting with Mary, the ideal target for her harassment.

    I’m loving Sal’s reaction to Joyce’s comic, though.

  46. thumb

    you better believe we’re gonna be friendly and social out of sheer spite

  47. Mano308gts

    So what I find very interesting is just how similar the Becky/Dorothy and Malaya/Sal dynamics are… Yet the vast majority of people in this comment thread have distinctly different perspectives on the two scenarios.

    Sympathetic perspective in writing is one heck of a drug.

    1. Devin

      Similar yes. The same? Not quite. Dorothy seems to be a lot less bothered by it, which makes a pretty significant difference in severity. Honestly I still don’t like it, it grates on me, but not to the same degree as Malaya.

      Becky also understands that there are limits. Malaya has shown no such awareness that I can remember.

    2. Alex

      The main difference is that Dorothy’s need to be liked by everyone causes her to act like it’s all a joke and it doesn’t bother her. Whereas Sal actually gets angry, which makes it seem more harmful.

      1. Daibhid C

        Okay, that’s interesting. My autistic self assumed the reason Dorothy was acting like it didn’t bother her was because it didn’t bother her. Devin’s linked to the aftermath of the one time it looked like it did bother her. Her response was a very pass-ag “Here’s some ‘tough love’ advice for you”, but it was definitely a response.

        But yes, ultimately, my position is saying things that upset people for no reason is bad, and saying things that don’t upset people isn’t, and they can be exactly the same things, said to two different people.

        1. Devin

          Yeah, I definitely wouldn’t say it doesn’t bother her at all, rather that it’s a matter of degree.

    3. Taffy

      For what little it’s worth, I dislike both dynamics outside of a storytelling perspective. Stepping down into either one seems like a Bad Time because it’s a person you can’t really escape being rude very often.

  48. Nevermaker

    You know, I know everyone says Ruth operates on spite, but I think Sal is a close runner-up in the “yeah well I’ll show YOU” department.

    1. Alex

      I think it’s less about actually causing harm to anyone and more about proving people wrong when they claim to know her.

  49. bcb

    “Totally real! She’s in a webcomic!”

  50. iamdeltas

    Dunno why Sal doesn’t just point out that Malaya isn’t wearing a costume either.
    Also surprised that Malaya is being so nice to Joyce, honestly.

    1. Devin

      Because when someone pushes your buttons so effectively, it’s really hard to be clever or sometimes even coherent in the moment.

    2. Heatth

      I mean, is she even invited?

  51. Bagge

    Don’t worry Sal, you will soon know everything about Space Captain Julia Gray

    1. StClair

      and probably a fair bit more about Joyce in the bargain.

      1. Bagge

        What are you talking about. Those are Space Captain Julia Gray’s kinks, not Joyce’s. Space Captain Julia Gray is totally not a self-insert.

  52. Alex

    All fictional characters are made up.

    1. Taffy

      “Are the fictional characters in the room with us right now?”

    2. RedCat

      beat me to it.

  53. RassilonTDavros

    The server clock’s clearly been reset, so I’m gonna see what time the site thinks it is– my local time is 11:04 PM, Central Daylight.

    1. RassilonTDavros

      Ah! I’ve been placed at 5:04 pm, earlier than RedCat’s comment below. We’re seven hours behind, then.

      1. RassilonTDavros

        And that one’s 12:05, which means we’re back to normal!

  54. RedCat

    All characters are made up.

    1. StClair

      “This is an IMAGINARY STORY… aren’t they all?”

      1. The Wellerman

        Yeppers.

        1. Clif

          But then, we’re all imaginary characters that we make up as we go.

        2. RedCat

          Deep.

  55. Micki

    Joyce’s SQUEAL in the background is just too precious ❤️

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