171

Trifecta
Posted on April 26, 2012 by David M Willis
Hey, readers!  I'm gonna have an Artist Alley table at BotCon this weekend!  If you like both Dumbing of Age and Transformers, and you live near Dallas, Texas, you can find me there.

171 thoughts on “Trifecta”

  1. Blob Marley

    Tri harder, Billie

    1. Jen Aside

      FIVE harder, Blob!

      FIVE.

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        You got five rooms to choose from, so get a room already! 😛

        1. Khrene Cleaver

          You’re right plasma Billie should sleep with her boss to get in her favor.

          I mean why not if shes wiling to through a bone to Danny?

        2. Plasma Mongoose

          Besides, college is all about experimenting with lesbianism and partying.

        3. Yotomoe

          At least that’s what National Lampoon and American Pie have taught us.

  2. Plasma Mongoose

    Only Five? You really must have been a regular sided fish in a small puddle.

    1. Yotomoe

      5 bedrooms isn’t even enough room for all that Billie. She deserves ALL THE ROOMS.

      1. Aizat

        One room for her, two for her clothes and the rest is for the dog or cat or whatever her pet is.

        1. Blob Marley

          Billie could never have a pet. Its cuteness would steal the spotlight from her.

        2. Undrave

          Nah the last two are for her boobs.

        3. Vivvav

          I can’t decide if walking into a bedroom and just seeing a boob walking around in it is funny, disturbing, or sexy.

        4. Yotomoe

          I think that all depends on if they’re still attached to Billie. I fso then it’s kinda creepy

        5. Valdrax

          Wow, I just had the worst idea for an Attack of the Killer Tomatoes sequel…

        6. stewbacca

          Its been done- I think it was in Woody Allen’ Everything I want to Know about Sex, but am afraid to ask…

        7. HiEv

          Worst? Or best?

        8. Kryss LaBryn

          Woody Allen kind of already did it in “Everything You Wanted To Know About Sex (But Were Afraid To Ask)”.

          http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mr7ZWJJdPV8

        9. Kryss LaBryn

          (Okay, less “kind of” and more “totally did” lol.)

  3. Yotomoe

    Billie is gradually getting on my nerves.

    1. David Herbert

      Don’t worry, Ruth will do something that’ll make her sympathetic again.

      1. artemi

        You mean, “Don’t worry, Ruth will do something that will make Ruth AWESOME again”, right?

    2. Historyman68

      Gradually?

      1. I.care.0

        This.

      2. Kamino Neko

        Yah…Billie in ‘it doesn’t matter if anyone likes me, I’m popular!’ mode has been annoying from the start.

  4. Undrave

    Damnit Billie. If you want Daisy to publish your article you don’t need to show off five bedrooms. You just need one: your own. Bang her and be done with it :p

    1. Yotomoe

      Joe has a pool on that.

      1. iSaidCandleja-

        Too bad his track record hasn’t been too great.

      2. Undrave

        Do I smell a new meme?!

        1. Kosh

          Shh don’t say that out loud.

        2. Shippy McShipper

          Too late. New meme will be ready and operational in 5 to 7 working days.

        3. Historyman68

          I love that “new meme” smell.

    2. Plasma Mongoose

      I like the cut of your jib, Undrave! 😀

      1. Undrave

        I like the cut of your avatars Mongoose 😀

        and I also like the cut of Billie’s jeans.

        DAT… well you know.

        1. Mrelegos

          DAT calf? Dat Thigh? Dat shin?

        2. Aizat

          DAT ASS!…..I’m sorry did I said that out loud?

        3. Usayasha

          No, dat kneecap.

        4. StClair

          FAAAAAAAAAAAAACE

        5. N0083rP00F

          … with a femur …..

        6. Usayasha

          Dat penis.
          Wait…

  5. Plasma Mongoose

    Billie, the only way you can improve things with Daisy now is if you start wearing shirts with chest windows.

    1. Yotomoe

      mandatory chest windows for all.

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        Except for really fat guys, trust me, you DON’T WANNA see that.

        1. Yotomoe

          squint and pretend it’s girl boobs

        2. Plasma Mongoose

          I squint to improve my sight if even only for a few seconds, so that’s no good for me.

        3. Azumango

          In that case, just remove your glasses.

        4. Plasma Mongoose

          I have no glasses, I’m legally blind.

        5. Azumango

          Even better!

        6. Aizat

          Tried that. Got nightmares for weeks.

        7. Ancestral Hamster

          Too hairy… Can’t unsee …

        8. I.care.0

          Why exactly I would want to see girl boobs on a fat guy with a chest windows?

        9. Shippy McShipper

          Because it’s better than seeing the truth?
          Of course, you are more than welcome to make more corrections, that was just the bare minimum.

    2. Blob Marley

      CHEST.

      WINDOWS.

      8-F

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        They’re like donuts but with more cleavage and less sprinkles.

        1. Blob Marley

          > less sprinkles

          … But is there any reason there shouldn’t be sprinkles? BRB, finding superhero girlfriend with chest window. Uhh… for science!

        2. Plasma Mongoose

          There might be sprinkles if she is a messy enough eater i suppose…

        3. madd

          I like ’em better glazed.

        4. Undrave

          With your penis?

        5. Plasma Mongoose

          With semen as the glaze no doubt. 😛

    3. Kamino Neko

      No, I think she’s at the point that she needs to stop wearing a shirt at all.

  6. Sensedog

    Wow. Someone attempts to get through to Billie with as much bluntness as possible, and she still doesn’t accept the truth of her own situation. Or is in denial. I’m not sure which. Either way, she is one infuriating hypocrite; it seems that she can deem anyone else a “nerd”, but it just isn’t cool when someone else gives her a taste of her own medicine.

    Mike should be the one to handle this. He could probably get through to her in his own way.

    1. Yotomoe

      he got through to her mom. carnally. for a five cent piece.

      1. Blob Marley

        With his reproductive organs. On the FROOONNNT OOOFFF HEEERRRR HEEEEEAAAAAADDDD!!!

        1. AngryBamboo

          I’m a man dressed as a bat

        2. AngryBamboo

          I’m a man dressed as a bat

  7. Aegon01

    She’s such a blockhead.

    1. Yotomoe

      If I see her try to kick a football I’m gonna pull that ball out of the way at the last second

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        So Billie is Charlie now? OH MY!

        1. Leorale

          I always thought of her as Lucy. Danny is Charlie.

        2. Wack'd

          No, but Danny was the one who pulled away the metaphorical football.

  8. John Madden

    She doesn’t get it, does she? That said, I’d be inclined to listen to the R.A. scandal.

    1. TacosForever

      Yeah, I feel like on the usual college campus a corrupt RA would be big enough news. Of course, most college campuses don’t have a political sex scandal or a local superhero to write stories about, so I suppose next to that Daisy can afford to ignore RA scandal stories as too boring.

      1. Sporkaganza

        I feel like Ruth probably ISN’T a corrupt RA and Daisy knows this. Even if she doesn’t know, I feel she would probably assume, correctly, that Billie is just angry at her for totally petty and selfish reasons.

        1. Yotomoe

          I think stealing from dorm members and threatening/bribing them with the destruction of their property is a bit corrupt.

        2. TacosForever

          Yeah, agree. Especially for just not signing a roommate agreement? That’s some crazy shit.

        3. madd

          Especially considering that it wasn’t even Billie who wouldn’t sign the agreement, but her roommate.

  9. Aizat

    Pretty, popular and rich? The stereotypical trifecta.

  10. Brasca1

    Now I’m thinking the reason Danny turned her down was she took her glasses off while things were getting heated up.

    1. Blob Marley

      Got something against dem Asian eyes? RACIST!

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        No, he seems to be a major glasses fetishist.

        1. Kernanator

          Glasses appeaaaaaaaaaaaaaallllll.

        2. Plasma Mongoose

          Meganekko!

        3. Aizat

          A giant cat? Or was it glasses?

        4. Plasma Mongoose

          You were think of Mega Neko.

      2. Aizat

        You know, not all Asians are Chinese.

        1. Blob Marley

          But when you introduce a white parent, the specific cant of a person’s eyes becomes much less distinctive, giving them not so much a particular regional or national look than a vaguely Asian vibe.

    2. Yotomoe

      danny: never mind…moments over.

    3. Aizat

      She’s a Rich bongo?

      1. Blob Marley

        Please tell me you’re referencing this:
        NSFW, obvi

        1. Aizat

          TV Tropes, dude, Tv Tropes.

        2. Blob Marley

          Dammit, I was actually going to go to sleep tonight. Guess that’s not gonna be a thing.

  11. Ridureyu

    I’m tired of talking about this comic. Let’s talk about me, instead. Me, me, MEEEEEEE!

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      Me too! *Squishes tomato*

    2. Aizat

      OK, what you want to talk about?

      1. Blob Marley

        [Public apology in advance for this atrocity against your ears]

        I wanna talk about ME wanna talk about I wanna talk about NUMBAH WUHN OH MAH MEE MAH whadda THANK whadda NO whadda WAWNT whadda LAHK whadda SEEEEE! IIIII lahk tokkinnabowt yew yew yew yew YEWSHEWALLY! But OCCASIONALLY! I wanna tokkabowt MEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

        1. Plasma Mongoose

          Oddly catchy!

        2. Aizat

          NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO*stop to drink water*OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

        3. Azumango

          [Me! Me! Me! Me! Is all you think that I care about! Me! Me! Me! Me! That’s all you I wanna talk about about!](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iQ5FdOjUikk)

        4. Azumango

          Oh god that’s hideous. I’m sorry.

        5. Blob Marley

          Redddit-style links don’t work ’round these parts. Which is tragic

        6. Azumango

          I-it’s all I know!

        7. Luke

          Personally, I prefer Eric Church. But all country’s good, so it’s fine.

    3. Atcote

      Sorry mate, your picture’s coming up black to me – I can’t tell if you’re pretty or popular (see: Pretty), so I’m not sure if I can judge whether it’s worth talking about you instead of the comic.

      Wait, how many bedrooms does your parent’s home have?
      Do they have more than one home?

      1. Leorale

        Plasma: Is it that two-buns girl from Naruto?

        1. Plasma Mongoose

          Yes, Tenten is the one without a backstory.

        2. Aizat

          The one without a backstory but way more interesting than Sakura.

        3. Plasma Mongoose

          At least by design. 😀

        4. Yotomoe

          She’s more likeable but that’s not hard to do

  12. Romanticide

    Billie change is hard… eventually you will have to get used to.

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      Loose change is hard, especially if it is thrown fast enough.

  13. Mkvenner

    ………………………………………………There is nothing I can add to this clusterf*.

    1. Atcote

      Try a larger ellipsis; I feel as though that one only went so far. There’s potential in them there dots.

      1. Usayasha

        If she/he extends the ellipsis long enough, will his/her avatar change from Billie to Dotty?

  14. Kernanator

    Oh Billie. You manage to inspire such sympathy and such rage in me at the same time.

    Come to think of it, pretty much all my favorite characters do that.

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      I hear ya, many of my favourite characters are people I couldn’t stand for very long IRL.

      1. Kernanator

        I wonder why…?

        1. Plasma Mongoose

          Cos real life tsundere and yandere are scary scary people.

        2. Kernanator

          Goddammit, how do you know the kind of girls I like? Er, I mean… I don’t have a fetish!

        3. Plasma Mongoose

          Dig yourself deeper why don’t you. 😀

        4. Aizat

          Tsundere: A damn bongo(who for some reason likes that person)
          Yandere: A clingy psychopath

          Yeah, not a good crowd to be with.

        5. begbert2

          But they like me! How could I turn down that?

        6. Aizat

          Well, I wish you a lot of luck.

        7. Plasma Mongoose

          It’s your funeral, begbert.

        8. begbert2

          Aw, come on, nine times out of
          ten the hapless protagonist survives
          the loving ministrations of their devoted
          psychopath. And they’ve still got more
          going on than their two classmates who
          just provide comic relief; they’ve got nobody.

        9. StClair

          Believe it or not, some people find the person they’re going to spend the rest of their life with after they graduate.

  15. Jason

    “You don’t understand Daisy! I’m at least the 3rd-most important character in this comic strip! You’re just an occasional supporting character!”

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      Daisy: “Fourth Wall, stop leaning on it or it might break.”

      1. Blob Marley

        Meta joke? Or fat joke? The world may never know. Maybe it’s both!

        1. Plasma Mongoose

          “Good thinking 99.”

  16. Azumango

    What the hell does one DO with 5 rooms?

    1. Historyman68

      What DOESN’T one do?

      1. Kernanator

        Sleep.

        1. Aizat

          Have sex. Seriously, have any one of you do a room?

        2. Plasma Mongoose

          I cannot say that I have ever had sex with a room.

    2. Aydr

      Someone. That’s what.

    3. Dio

      offices, sewing rooms, space for a pool table, gift-wrapping room? I grew up in a house with five bedrooms and only two children, but we never had enough space, it seemed. Your needs always seem to expand to exceed your square footage allotted.

      1. Historyman68

        I’d build an awesome recording studio with at least two or three of those rooms. You’d get some isolation, a mixing room… Damn, I really wish I had an extra couple of rooms. And some money.

    4. Wack'd

      Simple. It seriously decreases the odds of someone walking in on you during sex AND makes it easier to throw orgies parties.

    5. DudeMyDadOwnsADealership

      Flaunt one’s ability to buy a such a big house that they don’t need?

  17. Dahlia

    Oh Billie. It’s moments like these that make me NOT feel sorry for ANYTHING Ruth has done to you, because even when YOU DO get a taste of your own medicine, THE LESSON JUST FLIES RIGHT OVER YOUR FRIGGIN’ HEAD.

    In short: HER HEAD IS FULL OF FAIL! ^ ^

    1. Leorale

      Sal is So Angry

      1. Dahlia

        I am! >.<

    2. Jackson

      If she had a realistic appraisal of herself, she’d be so much more tolerable. I want to like her, but man is she ever making it tough.

      1. Dahlia

        Exactly! D:

  18. Mindset

    Broken contacts? …wha?

    1. begbert2

      They just stopped working, man!

    2. Kryss LaBryn

      Meh, maybe they ripped. That’s happened to me and I still have no idea how. And a friend has had them break apart (in their eye, nice) when, it ended up, the disposables had expired.

      And a roommate once rinsed my then-boyfriend’s contacts down the sink (she mistook his container for hers, and when she opened it and didn’t see her coloured contacts in there (his were clear) she– decided to rinse the container out, for some reason. Because that would magically make them reappear? O_o

      Anyways, my point is just that things happen to them occasionally. And they do occasionally seem to literally break apart. Yay for spending half an hour trying to hunt down tiny clear pieces of plastic in someone’s eye…

      1. pluckyredhead

        Yeah, but you’d say they ripped. Hard things break, soft things rip or tear.

      2. Mindset

        It just seems like a weird phrasing to explain her wearing glasses if she normally wears contacts. You don’t say contacts “broke”. They’re not made of glass or hard plastic. You say they tore (which has happened to me too). “One of my contacts got torn” (because they never mess up at the exact same time), or “I lost a contact”.

        And disposables are most typical nowadays, and people get multiple boxes of them per order. Unless Billie has a really weird prescription (like the weighted ones for astigmatism), and even then, toric disposables are pretty common… you’d think she’d have extras on hand.

        1. Historyman68

          Weighed contacts for astigmatism? Cool, that never occurred to me that that would be something that exists.

  19. Plaid Wolf

    I think someone’s reality check just bounced…..

  20. Maycroft

    And she keeps falling.

    1. mechaqua

      Billie is not failing she is just not succeeding.

    2. N0083rP00F

      Billie has not failed … she just has just found another way that does not work.

  21. mechaqua

    “it’s a 5-bedroom house. But I think it’s up to occupant how many bedrooms there are, don’t you? Fuck you real estate lady, this bedroom has an oven in it! This bedroom has a lot of people sitting around watching TV. This bedroom’s over in that guy’s house. ‘Sir are you aware you have one my of bedrooms do not redecorate it'”

    Mitch Headberg

  22. Faeyas

    Well well I smell Foreshadowing. The bet of who will finish last being Billie? but last in what? I mean obviously understanding bluntness, but what else? Dating? School? Life?

  23. Argon

    Oh, Billie. The fact you can’t grasp that the crap you did in high school doesn’t matter in college entertains us.

    In vaguely related news:

    I feel like I have a once-in-a-lifetime chance (unless more cons come here, which is entirely probable) to bother the artist of a webcomic I enjoy this weekend. I would definately take it if I didn’t have finals to study for and a general lack of desire to go to BotCon and/or ability to get a ticket.

    YOU ARE LUCKIER THAN YOU KNOW, WILLIS

  24. Perhapsormaybe

    Wow. I liked Billie so much in Roomies. More room for development, but seriously…plus she’s cute with the glasses, even if she doesn’t see it.

  25. Jererry

    Who else can’t wait for Billie to hit rock bottom and have to treat other people with respect?

    1. Wack'd

      I can wait. There’s drama to be milked here.

      Sweet sweet drama.

    2. begbert2

      She already has hit rock bottom. She just hasn’t noticed/acknowledged it yet.

      1. Shippy McShipper

        She still has a person who is arguably a friend of hers, who she liked feeling superior to, and who recently lost and subsequently regained a good amount of self-esteem. So she still needs to be told off by said person.

        I had thought it would come about thanks to his being understandably sensitve after Mike’s Special, but it was patched pretty well. So it seems her bottom hitting, and subsequent recovery/suicide, will have to wait.

        1. begbert2

          Like she’d listen to anything that dork said. Obviously it would just be sour grapes on his part or something.

          Also, I read that recovery/suicide as having an ‘and’ slash rather than an ‘or’ slash, which made for a curious mental conundrum for a moment. Fun!

  26. ziggy78eog

    Daisy, you are denying your readership important information that their inquiring minds would want to know about. Billies house has five bedrooms in it, five!

  27. PinkiePiecrust

    Billie’s not cool! Billie’s not cool! Billie’s not cool!

    1. Wack'd

      And Hermione can’t draw.

      1. Aizat

        And Torres can’t score. Oh wait.

  28. begbert2

    Five? Pfeh. After we renovated the basement, our modest one-story house had *six* bedrooms, and that’s only counting the ones people actually lived in. Five’s nothing to brag about.

  29. Plasma Mongoose

    I wonder if Billie will end up as a hipster.

  30. Kelson

    Five bedrooms. Five. Quid pro quo.

    1. Wack'd

      FIVE! FIVE BEDROOMS! MWA-HA-HA-HA!

  31. newllend

    How’s it feel to be on the outside lookeing in billie

Leave a Reply to Yotomoe Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

*

*

*

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.