147

Tyler
Posted on March 12, 2013 by David M Willis

147 thoughts on “Tyler”

  1. Sensedog

    Well, that is actually pretty tame compared to most of what you can find online.

    1. Resne

      Indeed.

    2. xero

      hot girl mucus goes for $5.00 an ounce on some websites (AOTS used to have a segment on truly WTF fetishes)

      1. Jenny Creed

        It’s the mucus that binds us!

    3. Znayx

      I might have watched an extreme version of what she’s describing, between two girls. Possibly.

  2. SUGauthor

    Ewww…..

    1. ASmellyOgre

      I gagged a little imagining that.

      1. Skull025

        I emptied my sinuses all over the keyboard imagining that.

        1. Yotomoe

          Funny enough, I did not empty your mom’s sinuses for a nickel. That’s where I draw the line.

        2. Geegles

          I’ve been emptying my sinuses all day. Not into anyone’s mouth, though. Thankfully.

        3. Groove

          Oh God, poor Tyler. He’s just some imaginary backstory guy, but I feel REALLY bad for him.

        4. Rognik

          Actually, I kinda want to hear more about Meth-boy. Maybe he and Sarah’s first roommate know each other…

        5. Josh

          PLEASE let him join the comic!

        6. Dicrel Seijin

          Am I a bad person for laughing hysterically at Tyler’s plight for the past few minutes?

          And of course as it has been uttered on the internet, there is now a fetish site for it. (Eww.)

        7. Josh

          Yes. But don’t worry, this is the Internet. 😉

        8. NeverAgain

          Obviously, you’re just not trying hard enough.

      2. f.p.

        It can’t be too much different from snowballing.

        1. Gears

          The line, it has been crossed twice.

      3. Aisling

        You’re not the only one… my stomach turned.

  3. taekwondogirl

    Okay, that got me laughing hard enough that my shoulders shook.

  4. Wonder Wig

    I guess she wont be having any feta cheese on her complimentary Greek salad.

    1. Rognik

      …I can’t even being to understand what this has to do with the strip in question.

      1. Anonymous

        My guess: ‘complimentary Greek salad’ as that’s the food/situation that you would have a choice of feta cheese for. ‘feta cheese’ because of substance similarity. Aversion to it because her boyfriend plausibly learned after her accident how to do it deliberately for her.

        –Unsanitised version below–

        Her boyfriend probably got used to emptying his sinuses down her throat due to her lie, so by this point she plausibly can’t stand anything that resembles nasal mucous, including feta cheese (which you might have the option of having on a complimentary Greek salad in a restaurant or similar).

        1. Jandaru

          If your nasal mucous resembles feta cheese, you should see a doctor…

        2. Josh

          Or a questionable Salad bar.

        3. Drunken Nordmann

          More questionable or less questionable?

  5. David Herbert

    And then Dina pipes up saying she bit her first kiss.

    1. Doctor_Who

      And her second. And third.

      Girl has a bit of a complex.

    2. Nifar

      Giggity.

    3. Yotomoe

      Dina first stomped her feet and released low pitched mating calls, as to let the male know that she was receptive of his advances.

      1. Audiophillie

        That’s probably the most adorable thing I’ve imagined all day. Good work.

        1. Aydr

          It’s less adorable when you realize Dina tells them from INSIDE the stall. Joyce has been sitting on her this whole time and she’s been too polite to say anything.

      2. Cora

        This Joe Iconis song is now appropriate. Enjoy.
        http://youtu.be/YFsKZNJ-2Ts

    4. Rognik

      I bet Dina hasn’t been kissed either. Or isn’t even interested in one. She’s a more literal female Sheldon Cooper than Amy Farah Fowler ever was.

    5. Kai Gon

      I’ve been wondering for a while now where Dina went.

      She went up from the table in the Restaurant, after Walky told her what Girls really do in the bathroom. I was convinced she’ll arrive in the bathroom. Did she miss the right door and is lost now?

      1. SUGauthor

        She’s probably been standing right behind them for a while now. The second there’s a pause in the conversation she’s going to weigh in and make both of them jump.

        1. Rognik

          And what do you know, he called it. Then again, so did a lot of people. Man, this comic is getting so predictable. Boo, Willis, classic Dumbing of Age was so much better than it is nowadays! :p

        2. Kai Gon

          Haha … yes, I noticed it!

          My first thought at the last panel of tomorrows comic was: “Ah, there she is!” 😀

        3. SUGauthor

          I think the story is just getting interesting. Some gags are getting a little old however.

  6. Plasma Mongoose

    So kissing leads to meth production eh? I’m glad I avoided that slippery slope.

    1. Doctor_Who

      Kiss: Not even once.

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        …and getting to 2nd base leads to the black-market arms trade.

        1. Yotomoe

          3rd base turns you into a genocidal dictator with a massive nuclear army.

        2. Valdrax

          And actual sex? Telemarketing.

        3. Plasma Mongoose

          GASP!!

        4. James

          YOU EVIL,EVIL MAN!!!

    2. Wonder Wig

      Also, the slippery slope is quite a popular kissing maneuver.

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        *is now trying to imagine what this looks like*

        1. Josh

          It involves a icy hill and some sinus action, that’s all you need to know.

      2. Rognik

        Isn’t that the one where the man kisses the…

        1. Charlie

          WELL don’t leave us in suspense!

        2. Rognik

          ..Actually, I was kind of hoping someone else would finish the statement, but in a completely silly way like “the man kisses the… foot in between the second and third toe.” But no one did. I am sad.

          I think it was pretty obvious what *I* was hinting at, but I now declare this a “make your own joke” joke. Have fun.

  7. NCP19

    Dorothy’s expression in the last panel is hilarious to me. She’s gone full Scrubs-style flashback right there.

    1. Doctor_Who

      After a few seconds of silence, she returns to reality with some sort of non sequitur; “Still, the pruning shears were on sale.”

      1. Yotomoe

        Soon the rest of the cast follows suit and they all have fantasies. They walk a thin line, though. Trying not to fall into Family guy level cutaway gags.

        1. Rognik

          Ugh, Family Guy. It has some humour, but not in the right way. And then they had its creator, Seth McFarlaine host the Oscars? No wonder the show was critically acclaimed… as a horrible piece of dreck!

        2. Andiemus

          You get what you pay for.

    2. ridtom

      Joyce: “Dorothy?”

      Dorothy: “……..Luckily we dislodged the stomache pump and finished our vegetarian portfolios without Dr. Janitor finding out.”

      *Scrubs theme plays*

      1. Yotomoe

        “I’m no Superman” would actually be oddly fitting as a theme for Dumbing of Age.

        1. Andiemus

          Huh. Yeah, it would.

      2. Totz the Plaid

        You mean Dr. Jan Itor, right?

    3. Potatamoto

      Sorry to comment on such on old strip, but yes. That is the Face of Infinite Regret. Few people see it, because it usually only appears on your face when it’s 2am, you can’t sleep, and your brain decides to play ‘The Worst Moments of You!’ on a loop. They will haunt you for eternity.

  8. Yotomoe

    Dorothy has ruined Tyler for every one else, forever.

    1. Kernanator

      Every time he has snotty sex with his girlfriend, she thinks, “If I ever meet Dorothy, I’m going to kill her.”

      1. Yotomoe

        You’ve given away the ending to DumbingofAge

        1. Neospector

          Snotty sex? I do not like.

      2. Rognik

        That or its become his new fetish. “Baby, I want you to snot in my mouth.”

        …I really want to believe this is the one situation where Rule 34 doesn’t apply, but I’m afraid to look.

    2. Tom T.

      Nonsense. Tyler went on to empty himself halfway down the next girl’s throat. 😉

  9. Kernanator

    …I weep for that poor boy. And the awkward talks he has with his future girlfriends.

    1. Yotomoe

      The awkward talks he has with his future ex-girlfriends. Their relationships tend to end instantly.

  10. Tandel

    Gross. Possibly even more so than this: http://imgur.com/gallery/MRmKd

    1. Vabolo

      WELP.

    2. Tan

      Why did I click that?

      1. Groove

        I wish I knew, it would help the doctors to know what’s wrong with me.

    3. Rognik

      I hesitated for a moment on clicking this. I suppose I should be grateful to the people who posted in reply, or I might have actually stupidly clicked a link that pretty much said “This is an extremely gross image! Click if you want to be grossed out!”

      1. Tandel

        Your imagination? Not as bad as the reality.

        At least it’s not violent gross.

        1. Rognik

          …STILL not gonna click it. There is power in ignorance, after all.

  11. HEYOUGUYZ!

    Willis.

    I demand first kiss revelation 4 all character.

    pleas

    1. Yotomoe

      Mike’s was your mom for a nickel.

    2. David Herbert

      I’m willing to bet Walky’s first was Dorothy.

    3. Kernanator

      Ethan’s first was in the hotel room after prom.

      1. Aydr

        So was Mike’s.

    4. Rognik

      I’m not certain if I should comment on Ruth and Billie’s recent kiss or not.

      1. Yotomoe

        Whether you should or not, you just did, sucka.

        1. Rognik

          …DAMMIT!

      2. taekwondogirl

        There’s no way that was Billie’s first kiss. Not by a long shot.

        1. Rognik

          What, just because she was a cheerleader, she was also a slut and had a lot of boyfriends? Or that she’s a kissing slut? Oh, that is so racist! You’re racist against cheerleaders!

  12. inafets113

    That happened to someone I knew once. Except she wasn’t kissing her ladyfriend on the mouth.

    1. Josh

      Hot lesbian sinus action?

    2. Rognik

      To be fair, neither was Dorothy?

  13. HEYOUGUYZ!

    except mike’s. I’d prefer not to have his first kiss revealed.

    1. Yotomoe

      Whoops. Don’t scroll up.

  14. Count Dracula

    To quote the philosopher Epicurus: “Oh man that is mega nasty. That is dog shit.”

    1. eerilychildish

      I believe you’re confusing Epicurus and Cassandra Kazenzakis

      1. davidbreslin101

        Remind me again, which of those two was the depressed hermaphrodite cat?

    2. Rognik

      Wow, if Epicurus said that, it must be pretty bad. Then again, he only liked pleasurable things. Nothing pleasurable about snot spewing out of any orifice.

      1. Andiemus

        That’s what YOU think.

  15. AckAckAck

    So I’m too busy to spend time to comment for yesterday’s comic. I got back today but I think I’m going to barf now.

    1. Yotomoe

      It’s punishment, AckAckAck. Willis is punishing us all for your failure.

  16. ridtom

    Guess Dotty really gave Tyler…..

    *Puts on sunglasses*

    A mouthfull!!

    1. Shobo

      Your comment snot that funny. (Actually, I chuckled)

      1. Yotomoe

        Hey, you booger, don’t be mean. How would you like it if someone picked on you?

        1. Audiophillie

          Eh, he should be able to just blow it off.

        2. SUGauthor

          I don’t think this is such a big tissue anyways

        3. Rognik

          Wipe it off, just wipe it off. Everything is fine. (Weak, I know, but I panicked to join in!)

        4. Josh

          Don’t worry, everybody nose how that feels.

        5. Anickel4u

          I like your scents of humor

        6. Rognik

          Smells like we have a winner, folks!

        7. Tylertlat

          I nose humor when I see it, and this is phlegmatic

  17. Uniqueantique

    Tops the list of the ‘OMG’ first kiss stories I’ve heard, gross city.

  18. Turkey Dave

    oh. oh god. why

  19. Yotomoe

    Dorothy Kissing you dooms you.
    First Kiss: Cooking up Meth
    Second Kiss: Snot Fetishist.
    Third Kiss: Borderline stalker and obsession with a vigilante.
    Look out Walky.

    1. Sporky

      Huh? When did Billie kiss Dorothy?

      …Oh, you meant Danny.

    2. Aydr

      He hasn’t been stalking her… hell, he’s been REMARKABLY willing to not learn about her personal life, seeing as how he’s managed to miss how obvious who she really is.

      I mean, come on man, respecting a hero’s privacy is one thing but pretending you don’t know it’s Mary is just kind of ridiculous.

      1. John

        … Mary? That makes too much sense! It explains why she wasn’t dressed at 3 pm. Billie burst in on her changing costume! Mary and Amazi-Girl have never been seen at the same time. And it’s well known that Mary shares Amazi-Girl’s immunity to criticism.

        1. Turkey Dave

          I dunno, I still kinda think that it’s Joe in a Really good costume. He’s cultivated too much of a macho man persona to just let it go, and is embracing a broader worldview on women in society by dressing up as one and kicking the shit out of dudes

        2. Aydr

          And by making out with Danny, of course.

      2. ADHadh

        But he did follow Dorothy to college.

        1. Aydr

          I don’t think that really counts as stalking when he was dating her and it sounds as though she did lead him to believe that she wanted him to come with her.

          Inadvisable, yes, but not stalking.

    3. Rognik

      Um, I think Walky was messed up LONG before Dorothy kissed him. As such, I don’t think it’s so much Dotty’s kissing and her choice in men.

  20. E.C.

    Prediction: “Coming soon to Dumbing of age, David Walkerton accuses Joyce of canoodle-blocking him with Dorothy!”

  21. Rust

    Sinus Dumping.
    Paid it Forward.

    …Eew.

  22. Madock345

    It’s true, you Really don’t want to look at my browser history.

    1. Josh

      You don’t want to see HER browser history. 😉

  23. Rognik

    My first kiss? Well, we were 13 or so and I had already reach about 6 feet in height. She leans up to kiss me… and hits my nose. I make a face and wipe the slobber off. She makes a face like I just insulted her. Then we have an actual, real kiss. It was… OK, but then again, we were 13 and inexperienced.

  24. Eriennexton

    My first kiss was with a guy I didn’t even like-like. I was just trying to be grateful with a kiss on the cheek and he turned it into something else. We were in a contrived relationship for a while when he started owing money to people. He told my family the mafia was shooting at him on the bus and he had to run, he told me he was going to join the circus in Florida. Some months later he contacted me on Facebook from Tennessee.

    True Story.

    1. Rognik

      Oh, man. If you ever see that boy in your life again, run. Run fast and run hard and DO NOT look back.

  25. Karin

    First kiss. All I remember is talking with two of my friends in our high school’s teacher’s lounge then my guy friend pushing me and my female friend together while trying to have a group hug causing our lips to smush together. After that all I remember hearing is the sound of us both screaming bloody murder….
    <..>

    1. Rognik

      Hmm… I think that, just like a first kiss on a playground doesn’t count, a meaningless kiss with the same sex doesn’t count either unless you were intentionally enacting homosexual acts. Unless you really want it to count as your first kiss, write a new story.

      Sadly, I don’t think you will because most people don’t go back and check old pages like I’m doing now once the next page is up or they are archive diving. Too bad, because I think you might have appreciated the consoling thought.

  26. Ray

    Dude, that’s gross.

    I mean, that’s obviously the point, but dude, that’s gross.

    Please tell me you made that up and it’s not anybody’s real-life story that you borrowed for the comic.

  27. Aslee

    My first kiss wasn’t all that horrible, except that he kissed like Jabba the Hutt. … Which is kind of horrible, yeah, but Dotty’s blows mine out of the water.

    1. wynne

      Haha, that’s exactly what mine was like, too! I was like, “what am I supposed to do in response to all this tongue?”

      1. Rognik

        Oh, man. You don’t wanna know what I did when I first had someone try to tongue me in a kiss. It was not pretty.

    2. Kernanator

      And out of her nose.

      …Okay that was horrible.

      1. Rognik

        *passes a hanky and a mop* Use what’s appropriate and clean this up. This is your punishment for succumbing to that horrible (yet sadly fitting) pun.

    3. Yarrr

      Mine was kinda… dry? Nice though.

  28. Makkabee

    Kindergarten TOTALLY counts. I still remember my first kiss. I was in my grandparents’ yard pretending to be the Incredible Hulk when I looked across the street and saw the most adorable little girl in the world. Rules against crossing without an adult be damned, I knew I had to meet her. Quickly transforming back into human form, I hurried across the (fortunately lightly traveled suburban) road and introduced myself. With all the gallantry a five year old boy could muster, I took her hand and kissed her — above the knuckle, no less! If a man dares cross the street without mommy, he dares all!

    I still treasure that memory. So don’t fucking tell me kindergarten doesn’t count.

    1. Andiemus

      Oh good. It’s not just me who fell in love in kindergarten?

    2. Rognik

      I kinda have to agree with you on that. The first time I kissed someone I wasn’t related to it was actually in Grade 1. The girl I did it to I met in kindergarten and I fell for her as hard you just did. Sadly, we weren’t in the same class, but the next year we were! I was so happy. I forget now what exactly we were doing, but I do remember the whole class filing out the door to go somewhere. I was still in the classroom, on the far corner, and she was the last to leave besides me. Some passion filled me, and I darted down through the rows of desks, grabbed her and kissed her a bit forcefully on the cheek. Too bad she was in her “boys are icky” phase. Oh, and I literally did it an inch away from the teacher watching. That… could have gone better, but I have never once regretted it.

  29. HiEv

    Anyone else think that Dorothy’s one eye looks weird in the last panel? Between the darker lens due to the shadow and the slightly larger pupil(?), it just leapt out as kinda’ weird looking to me.

  30. EssThree

    Dorothy’s first kiss: Jessie Pinkman.

  31. Jordan

    I think I found Tyler.
    http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20091119144832AAGiubV

    1. Rognik

      …Dammit. I clicked the link.

      Also, RULE THIRTY FOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUR!

    2. Kernanator

      …Why does this world keep finding new ways to disappoint me?

  32. Tylertlat

    We can reasonably assume that Meth Kid is making meth now, but I really want to see Tyler’s backstory get fleshed out. I’m not alone in this, am I?

  33. datgoat

    What’s on Tyler’s browser history?!

  34. Rheios

    Hormones are such shit. It doesn’t seem to matter how old you get they’re still there yelling stupid shit at you.

Leave a Reply to Groove Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

*

*

*

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.