207

Unbedhead
Posted on June 7, 2023 by David M Willis

207 thoughts on “Unbedhead”

  1. Ana Chronistic

    Joe: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ht09fEGgPLM

    Joyce: ALLOW ME A DEMONSTRATION

    1. Ana Chronistic

      I made a world where EVERYTHING can verb

      Names? Joyceing just means “to be Joyce”

      1. Kyoulkoa

        The Joycening

        1. Bogeywoman

          Joyceing if Age

        2. Bogeywoman

          After all the minute I spent figuring out how to write “joyceing” and forgetting how even spell her name I fuck up “of”

        3. Clif

          Welcome to Common Englishing Mistakes 101.

      2. vulcanodon

        “ReJoyceing” is when you were someone else for a moment then went back to being Joyce again

      3. Just_IDD

        What about rejoycing?

  2. V

    Congrats on your new beardbending powers, Joyce

    1. Puppeteer Nessus

      Beardbending. Can it be done from a distance? What are its limitations? Can one use this power for crime fighting?

      1. Thag Simmons

        Usually when Superheroes have hair powers it’s their own hair

        1. Slartibeast Button, BIA

          For Beard superpowers specifically, see Action Hank from Dexter’s Laboratory.

      2. Switchchris

        It would be the best Crime Fighting power ever lol. The amount of Confusion that would cause as Criminals are suddenly being tangled up by their own 15ft long beards that they didn’t have mere seconds ago.

      3. Stanistani

        When the superhero FolliceMan summons stubble to grow inside the villain’s throat…

        1. Stanistani

          *FollicleMan

        2. Liquid Len

          Follicle Man, Fillicle Man
          Doin’ the things a follicle can

        3. Peep

          How does he grow hair
          From way over there?
          Nobody knows
          Follicle Man

      4. Xaeon

        Her arch-nemesis is an undead King Camp Gillette

    2. Rowen Morland

      Wasn’t there a beard bender in Doom Patrol?

      1. Thag Simmons

        that does sound like a thing Doom Patrol would do

        1. morleuca

          I very rarely become ill from watching television….

      2. Hof1991

        Beard hunter. https://doompatrol.fandom.com/wiki/Ernest_Franklin

    3. Dara

      no super-powers

    4. Theluxland

      Man I wish I could have theses powers. My beard grows unusually fast and I mostly have a week beard after 24 hours. I would make my life so much easier if I could just revert it on the spot.

      1. TheScreenJockey

        I knew a guy in the Marine Corps who kept getting in trouble for not being properly clean-shaven, and he eventually had to GET A DOCTOR to verify that his facial hair was simply so dark, coarse, and grew so quickly that the only way he could possibly meet the Corps’ grooming standard would be to shave 2-3 times a day, which could be very bad for his skin. So he got a “beard chit,” which allowed him to simply let it grow out to a full beard, so long as he kept it “well-groomed.”

        1. Loki

          That must have been an amazing piece of paperwork, both in its mundane nature and yet in the implications in the need for its existence.

        2. Just_IDD

          Not really. See there is a way to do nearly everything in the military services it just requires someone know how to ask for the proper questions of the proper people. The beard chit is simply one of those things. It exists for several contingencies.

        3. Kirt Dankmyer

          I’m always impressed by the contingencies covered by military bureaucracy.

  3. Yearofthecat

    Stubble just can’t catch a break

  4. DailyBrad

    Amazing, simply amazing.

    Poor Joe, poor Joe’s jaw.

  5. True Survivor

    Either A) There was never stubble – Joyce had just smeared chocolate all over Joe’s face that morning and then rubbed it off
    B) Joyce has gone from Christianity to Atheism to Satanism cause that is some witch craft.

    1. Doctor_Who

      I all seriousness, I knew a girl in college who went through basically entirely Joyce’s arc – raised as a fundie Christian, lost her faith due to finally living in the real world for a while at school.

      The Wiccan phase is next, mark my words.

      1. Proxiehunter

        It’s not a phase mom.

      2. Rose by Any Other Name

        Not to be a jerk, but it is somewhat uncool to refer to anyone’s religion as a phase.

        1. Doctor_Who

          Apologies, didn’t mean for it to come off as dismissive.

        2. Clif

          Somehow, I doubt that’s nearly as dismissive as True Survivor equating witchcraft and Satanism.

          Pretty sure if you’re Wiccan, you don’t believe in Satan, much less worship them.

        3. Skater Girl

          Satanists don’t believe in Satan either.

        4. McNitz

          Depends on the Satanist, I’ve encountered some online that do believe Satan is real and is just actually the good guy in the Bible.

        5. Seregiel

          As an atheist, can confirm Satan is a pretty swell guy.

        6. NGPZ

          Yeah, compared with the genocidal Yahweh, the biblical Satan seems millions of times more innocent.

        7. Capt Calamity

          You are confusing Satanism with the Satanic Temple, which is a non-theistic religious organization.

        8. HueSatLight

          Or their irreligion.

        9. Opus the Poet

          My dear departed mother was convinced my Pagan religion was “just a phase” and I would return to being her good little Southern Baptist boy after people from her church tried to convince me that the world was ending soon and we had to use up all the resources or Gawd would be angry we didn’t finish what He had prepared for us to consume. Yeah a couple of years of that and I started looking for a church that believed we had to conserve the environment so the planet was still livable when He came back.

    2. Icalasari

      C) Joyce has realized she is in a comic and is now harnessing the Toon Force

  6. IniquitousKing

    Enjoy that faceful of ingrown hairs, Joe.

    1. Dday

      ungrown

      1. Taffy

        Degrown

        1. milu

          Ex-grown

        2. JBento

          The Bearded Formerly Known as Joe

        3. HueSatLight

          Was-kers

        4. Carms

          Waskers is so good thank you

        5. milu

          Oh no i just awarded top comment to yoto with his own cheeky pun, you’ll have to share this one ??

        6. anonymsly

          That’s amazing

    2. Loki

      Oh, I’m sure they’ll just eject cleanly in reaction to the benign intent behind Joyce’s orders. Her beardbending powers are smarter than she is.

  7. Reltzik

    …. Ma Brown has already seen Joe with his hair unkempt and his face stubbly. What’s this supposed to accomplish?

    1. Carms

      this is supposed to accomplish Joyce not being thirsty in front of her mum.

    2. Angel

      willingness to look presentable in front of relative? Even walky put in effort lol

    3. Yotomoe

      I’m certain she doesn’t have object permanence.

      1. Clif

        I was going to ask which she doesn’t have object permanence, but she’s probably gone now.

  8. UrsulaDavina

    The ability to cause beards to grow and shrink may not be the most glamorous super power but it certainly a useful one.

    1. Switchchris

      If she can master such a ability, to be able to do it at range, it would be the greatest crime fighting power ever. Just imagine Male and female criminals alike becoming insanely confused as their new 15ft beards they didnt have mere seconds ago tangles them up allowing for easy capture lol.

  9. Pocky

    OH NO

    NOT THE WOO

  10. tim gueguen

    Speaking In Stubble, the Talking Heads album that will never happen because David Byrne and Tina Weymouth hate each other.

  11. NGPZ

    Joyce’s Stand Beasty Boys shows its power once more! XD

  12. Taffy

    A “charismatic church”? Does that mean a church that can be described as charismatic, or is that like, a Charismatic Church®️ sort of deal? I mean, is it a basic adjective or proper noun?

    1. NGPZ

      She probably means any church that has a non-zero chance of reminding you that this is the 21st century. ?

      1. JBento

        So, none of them?

      2. zee

        Judging by what’s happening in the third panel i think she means one of those churches that does exorcisms and getting possessed by the holy spirit n stuff. Like pentecostals.

    2. Steelbright

      I dunno but I’m assuming it’s the kind where people are expected to have mass hysteria and start shrieking in the middle of the service

    3. Proxiehunter

      Generally it means these folks https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Charismatic_Christianity

      1. Taffy

        All I can think when I read about these things, even the tamer stuff, is “People really live this way?”, and I know that’s a judgmental thing to think.

        1. Clif

          Good judgment is important.

      2. CallynD

        I’m honestly surprised that Joyce’s church wasn’t already one of these. It seemed culty enough.

        1. Loki

          The various right wing factions of Christianity can be very judgmental of each other.

          Really, this happens everywhere. See the “left wing circular firing squad”.

        2. Taffy

          What’s this about a firing squad?

        3. zee

          Different types of cults. like, Amish vs Mormon vs this stuff
          I was gonna out Jehovas witness in there too but i actually have no idea what their services are like or how they’d compare to the others. I assume they’re very boring.

    4. Yotomoe

      What is the Charisma modifier on a church?

      1. Taffy

        It’s gotta be pretty high, to suck in so many people. And to convince them they need to build a new one every few fucking years, making sure to pop one on every street corner they can.

      2. Loki

        Depends on what its player rolled at chargen, obviously.

    5. HueSatLight

      She probably means faith healing, like Benny Hinn type theatrics.

      1. Taffy

        Benny Hill?

        1. HueSatLight

          Benny Hinn is a faith healer televangelist. Does “beseeching” pronouncements and puts his hand on someone’s head and makes them fall over. He actually uses suggestion and self-defense techniques to make them lose their balance. I saw a video of a devout Christian who was a self-defense instructor debunking him.

        2. Taffy

          You’re making it sound really entertaining, like people come up on his stage and he starts unleashing combo attacks on ’em for the Lord.

        3. Taffy

          “➡️⬇️↘️➕✊”
          Isaiah 19:87

        4. HueSatLight

          He cons sick people out of money by like pushing on their temples.

        5. Taffy

          Oh, so he’s a worthless leech, same as the rest of ’em. Good to know.

        6. Keulen

          Something like this, perhaps?

        7. HueSatLight

          The video of the self defense instructor / pastor debunking Hinn. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bffI10DDj-c&t=120s

    6. TheScreenJockey

      It’s a proper noun for a particular form of Christianity. “Getting the Holy Spirit” and “speaking in tongues” feature prominently in Charismatic Christian churches.

      The root here, BTW, is the Middle English “karisme” meaning “spiritual gift” or “divine power.”

  13. Kitschensyngk

    Teleportation AND the ability to summon facial hair at will? What CAN’T Joyce do?

    1. StClair

      Not be ND about food.

      1. Slartibeast Button, BIA

        All proper Heroes have to have Hangups. Nuff Said!

      2. Pergola

        Or use exercise machines properly.

  14. foducool

    can’t believe it works lmfao

  15. RassilonTDavros

    He’s reverted from Super Stud 4 to his base form.

  16. Suet

    Are you really sure there’s no SEMME in DoA? I could use Joyce’s powers on a couple of characters…

    Exhibit C of Joe as an oversized teddy bear

  17. Sirksome

    Joyce has complete control over facial hair I guess. Not the greatest super power you could get honestly but it’s better than nothing.

    1. Switchchris

      It is 100% one of the best super powers ever if mastered lol. Just think of all the possibilities that would come with being able to force hair growth on people, stopping villains with their own newly grown beards as they get tangled up in it lol.

  18. BBCC

    XD Hey, whatever works!

  19. Kirtro

    The last hairbender.

    1. Sirksome

      Long ago there was peace on the clean shaven face, then the stubble nation attacked!

    2. Dara

      someone get this commenter a chicken dinner because we have a certain WINNER

  20. KM

    My suspension of disbelief is ruined, ruined I tell you.

    1. Angel

      less believable than amber basically being an irl ver of kick ass while having social anxiety?

      1. Opus the Poet

        That’s not Amber, that’s Amazi-Girl, two different people who share the same body.

        1. Angel

          even if you could disassociate, you’d still need physical strength. i know amber mentioned being in track and field during school, team sports doesn’t seem like the type of thing she’d sign up for unless she also disassociated into her amazigirl persona while doing it or doesn’t have the mental space to be anxious if she’s busy/exhausted running laps or so

    2. HueSatLight

      They’re just altering their perception filters.

  21. Angel

    lol i’m surprised some ppl wouldn’t keep a pocket razor (even if a bit dangerous) to do a quick shave if they have to ‘on the go’ or so lol

    1. Angel

      and, carol’s surprisingly calm for this kinda behavior unless joyce acted ‘weirder’ at home/has somehow ‘forced’ some of her church peers/friends to be more ‘kempt’ around/spruce up or so

      1. Sol

        Could be she’s happy to see Joyce with a boy (I don’t think Joyce has ever dated) especially considering that her best friend is a Lesbian, so she’s probably worried that Joyce has been “”””corrupted”””” by Becky.

        1. Angel

          well, she did briefly date ethan before he came out

          tho i suppose with joyce having multiple brothers, putting her hand over his mouth isn’t rly that inappropriate/something that could’ve happened in a lighthearted play-fight

  22. cmd1095

    Either Joyce has magic powers, or Joe is trying frighteningly hard to be a good boyfriend and I am impressed either way

    1. Angel

      well, if ‘5 o clock shadow’ is a thing , maybe it can be the reverse for some.

  23. Warcodered

    …it’s working, dear god is she strong.

  24. AbacusWizard

    In Jesus’ name, begone! …wait, Jesus might not be the right name to invoke to banish a beard.

    1. Mark

      Could be taking all of the world’s beards onto Himself.

  25. Proto_Eevee

    I thought joyce didn’t have superpowers in this universe

    1. John Campbell

      She just has different superpowers. Instead of superstrength and the physics engine for flight, she got beard control and teleport-to-Dorothy. I’m assuming from the wildly inconsistent results that the characters are generating powers by rolling on the tables for the old Marvel FASERIP system.

      1. Kirt Dankmyer

        Or the STUPERPOWERS RPG tables.

        We’ll know for sure if someone gets “Summon Mariachi Band”.

  26. Joyfulldreams

    okay I understand that this is what Joyce wants and Joe is a great boyfriend for being understanding and doing his best.

    But I still want Carol to do something BATSHIT and for Joe to get protective. For reasons.

    1. Holly

      There’s a good chance Walky is going to get a chance at that with his parental lunch time, but who knows what his reaction will actually be!

      1. Bryy

        oh shit we still have THAT.

    2. Theluxland

      Carol seem surprisingly calm this time around. Since she have glasses, she seems to be much less agressive.

      …But I wouldn’t suprised if this was a facade.

  27. Dday

    Snikt!

  28. Taffy

    So, I’ve been slightly curious about religion in like a “see what they’re doing at that table” sorta way, but there’s not a lot of diversity for that here (xtian/”witch” and that’s it). This is probably a stupid/insensitive question, but how’s a body supposed to ease into/try out these sorta things without disrupting or upsetting people?

    1. Clif

      Become a Unitarian first and then people expect you to try things out.

    2. Angel

      my parents are tehcniclaly buddhist/they’re pretty chill, wen ever went to any temples if there is any in teh south tho other than doing the ‘offering incense/lighting sticks with a meal at the table for departed spirits’ we don’t do anything esp ‘religious/spiritual’

    3. TerribleTransit

      For any organized/led religion you can probably find livestreams/recordings of services — a lot of places started those up during the pandemic if they didn’t already have them. Of course, most places will also welcome visitors if you just ask — recruitment is fundamentally a part of any religion’s strategy — but you do have to find them first, and there’s always the issue of them being TOO “welcoming”.

      For any more personal religions without official services it would definitely be a lot harder, but I’m sure someone has videos of 101 explaining the core of what they do.

      1. Taffy

        Goddamn it, of course there’s probably videos. I keep forgetting YouTube has more than video game history, music videos, and Zelda conspiracy theories. It might be smarter to check that way, because people being too welcoming can be really stressful and usually drives me away from new things.

    4. Mark

      Talk to people you know. You’re probably acquainted with people who practice this religion or that, but haven’t become Pod People, and would be glad to discuss the topic with you calmly and let you be yourself. Such people do exist — they just don’t call attention to themselves, so we’re less aware of them.

      1. Taffy

        The only trouble here is the first 10 words. If I ever start being acquainted with people though, I’ll give it a shot.

    5. milu

      If you’re interested in doing this in meatspace, I’d say walk into any place of worship and ask if you can talk to someone, or maybe just sit around. Most religious communities emphasize openness, peace, connection. They will typically be pretty happy and chill with outsiders, even agnostics or atheists, respectfully engaging and wanting to learn about them. Places of worship have rules, so it’s good to ask someone what those are but they won’t freak out if you mess up, they’ll just tell you, they know you don’t know how things are done until you’re told. i’m generalizing a lot, but i’m reacting to your worry about upsetting people, and i don’t think it’s as likely as you seem to think?

      Now obviously some religious groups are bigoted or culty, so perhaps do a small bit of research online before you walk in.

      1. Taffy

        I’ll have to dig around and see if there are even any non-Christian places of worship around here. That’s like, the one religion I’m kinda good on learning about, cuz it’s fuckin’ creepy to observe.

        1. Taffy

          A quick Google search (filtered to exclude anything with “christ” in the name) brings up “Freedom From Religion groups” (sounds like a subreddit), the local Jehovah’s Witnesses (shitty filter I guess), and something called “Baha’i Faith” (sounds vaguely familiar, might look it up).

        2. milu

          Don’t know a whole lot about the Baha’i but what i know i like.

          They’re a recent (19th century) religion that basically goes, “those monotheisms had some good ideas but they were founded in a very different world and are no longer adapted. Why not keep the fundamental values of spiritual connection, peace and tolerance but update all the rest?”

          They advocate for world peace, are in favour of scientific knowledge and just generally seem chill and reasonable. But like i said, i don’t know much

        3. Taffy

          I looked into it a little bit (skimmed Wikipedia), and it seems mostly harmless? I saw something about a “voluntary 19%” tithe-like thing, which is an immediate red flag and they could apparently use a little work on their queer-inclusive policies (you can marry if you’re trans, but it’s worded to sound like only if you’ve gotten surgeries). I think this might be one my sibling was telling me about months ago.

        4. HueSatLight

          Freedom From Religion Foundation is an advocacy group, advocating for the separation of church and state. They are not opposed to people being religious, but are opposed to laws and attitudes that discriminate or stigmatize the irreligious.

          Rainn Wilson (Dwight from the Office) has some explainers because he’s Bahai, I kind of stopped watching after he conflated atheism with scientific naturalism, but I expect when he gets to Bahai it’s more informative. https://bahaiteachings.org/what-is-bahai-faith-introduction-by-rainn-wilson/

          Other than Christianity and Islam, the major world religions are Buddhism and Hinduism. There’s most likely ISKCON (Hare Krishna) around, they’re a sect of Hinduism, and they love sharing info about their religion (for proselytizing). I went to a buffet once, and it turned out to be a Hare Krishna temple and I, uh, was not as bashful as I could have been fact checking the guy during his proselytizing.
          Keep in mind that Hinduism is a lot more varied than the sects of Christianity or sects of Islam, so Hare Krishnas aren’t going to really give you a good understanding of all of Hinduism.

          It’s probably difficult to find, but the best information about a religion will come from an apostate. Someone who has been out of religion long enough the hard feelings aren’t so fresh, they’ll have compassion and sympathy for people in that religion, but has a deep understanding and won’t obfuscate the silly or nasty parts. I expect I am biased, but that’s my reasoning.

    6. The Oracle

      You could also NOT join a cult just because you’re having a midlife crisis and need some place to belong.

      1. BBCC

        Nobody said anything about joining a cult, just because someone is interested in learning about religious diversity in a ‘oooh, whatcha doing’ way.

        1. The Oracle

          That’s how it stared with my uncle. Also, isn’t it a little bit privileged to treat other people’s religions as a curiosity?

        2. pig

          Privileged, maybe, in the sense that not everyone has the ability to do it. But I consider it a good thing to try to better understand other people’s values, worldviews, systems of ethics, and beliefs.

        3. Taffy

          Yeah, I’m trying to stop being so anxious/self-conscious about learning new things. I build up these ideas in my head that no matter what I try to learn, someone’s going to forcibly shove me “back in my lane”, so to speak, and then with that baseline assumption of rejection, I’ve been kinda stifling my own growth. The worst anyone can do about it is be terse with me over the internet, and there’s literally billions of other people anyway so one rude person isn’t an entire group’s mouthpiece.

        4. BBCC

          If you treat it like something weird/bad that only weirdos/freaks do, sure, but if you’re just curious and want to learn more about people then no.

          Taffy, I wouldn’t worry. As long as you’re not being jerky, it’ll be okay.

        5. Taffy

          Damn, there go my plans to extract religious information at knifepoint in a candle lit room.

        6. Uly

          Perhaps, but it’s not nearly as rude as treating them all like a cult.

    7. BBCC

      If you don’t want to talk to people, there are a zillion religious books you could read. Or if you want to find more ‘lived experience’ type deals, you could find blogs by people in those religions.

      1. Taffy

        I’m gonna admit something slightly embarrassing, but I’ve never knowingly read (or even seen) a blog and been aware I was doing it. Books though, they live at the librarby. I know books’ home address, I can find ’em easy.

        1. BBCC

          That’s fine! But yes, there’s lots of religious memoirs and things like that too.

          I dunno if you have a university login or anything but many of them also have religious encyclopedias or databases you could look at. So would many libraries.

        2. Taffy

          It’d have to be a library, for sure. I haven’t got enough money for a university, but libraries are (currently) free, which is exactly within my budget.

  29. Comic.phile

    I’m getting Sage working vibes, and the last Cradle book just dropped haha. Does Joyce have a touch of an Icon perhaps?

    1. Taffy

      Is this an anime reference?

      1. Allison Branford

        Joyce has a copy of the Claire Bible.

        1. Taffy

          Okay Google: What is a Claire Bible?

          After looking it up, the answer seems to be “Yes, it’s an anime reference.”

        2. Comic.phile

          Haha well maybe their reference was! I wish mine was. It would make a great anime.

      2. Comic.phile

        No, its a 12 book series by Will Wight. First book is called “Unsouled,” if you wanted to check it out. Highly recommend.

  30. Needfuldoer

    “What kind of noises are those?”

    Do fundies really talk this stilted, or is this just Carol being Carol? She asked something like “what is the meaning of the symbols on your clothing” the first time she saw Joyce in her D&MM stuff during freshman family weekend.

    1. Clif

      Stilted? How else would you ask the question?

      1. Taffy

        “What are you doing?” is a good start. She knows what grunting sounds like, unless she’s somehow never heard anyone exerting effort in her entire life.

    2. Taffy

      “What’s the symbolism behind the clothes you’re wearing?” So not quite as robotic but still weird as hell. She’s got a bizarre mind that runs on indecipherable logic.

      1. Mark

        Religion can affect people that way, and some groups encourage it. Everything becomes symbolic.

  31. John Campbell

    Yes, Joyce now worships Charisma. She’s learning to be a Diplomancer.

  32. Ray Radlein

    JOYCE BROWN: FAITH BARBER

  33. 0xKruzr

    you get Turn Facial Hair at level 5 of whatever cleric she is.

  34. Bryy

    ….. did Carol….. did Carol just fucking….. see Joyce making noises and placing her hands on Joe and then just correlate it to a church thing…. even though, contextually, it’s obviously not…..

    ….. oh god does Carol actually think Joyce is legit trying to “Pray the Stubble Away”?….

    1. Alex

      No, it’s stupider than that.

      That’s all I’m going to say on the subject, it’s too stupid to explain.

      1. Clif

        So you don’t understand it either.

      2. Bryy

        No, you see, I WANT TO KNOW.

        1. Allison Branford

          So in the book of Acts, there’s a story of the Spirit of God coming down on people and causing them to speak in languages not their own, to the surprise of the Greeks, Romans, etc, who were like “Whoa, that Israelite is speaking my language about some god.” Fast forward 1900 years, and some Southern Christian churches believe that gibberish spoken in a religious fervor, “speaking in tongues”, is the language of the Spirit of God speaking through a person’s mouth. Like any goofy post-reformation idea, there’s debate about the particulars, but that’s the broad gist.

        2. Taffy

          What I wanna know is, how do people get whipped up into that much of a lather without mind-altering substances? It’s sorta disturbing.

        3. DonAshei

          People want control over their lives. Not necessarily outside control, but being part of this or that community can be a way of feeling in control. If only to believe you are right about something other people are wrong about.
          I think that’s the root of most fanaticism one way or another.

        4. Taffy

          What does wanting control have to do with thrashing around like you’re being electrocuted in a cartoon, spouting absolute gibberish? Makes ’em look more like they need immediate medical attention.

        5. Yotomoe

          I think you just described an intense orgasm.

        6. milu

          Yeah like Amos & Uly said. Its a trance state. Like other trance states, whether religiously ritualized or not, it’s a pretty intense experience. But i agree it might not come from an impulse towards control. If anything I’d guess the opposite, more of a (socially sanctioned) catharsis or release? @Amos do you wanna talk about your research? I’m sure it must be fascinating

        7. Taffy

          @Yotomoe You might be on to something, here. I’d totally find excuses to go to church if it involved more fuckin’.

        8. Amós Batista

          @Yotomoe: that’s a dangerous way of analyze this, but go on.

        9. Amós Batista

          I don’t know if religion, god, is real or not, but spiritual ecstasy is pretty real.
          I’ve seen the same tongue speech in many churches, and the way people have possessed is similar in another religions.

          (It’s strange and awesome, it’s a thing I’m studing currently.)

        10. Amós Batista

          @milu: My main source is this video list that I’m keeping.https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLDVvC_EZqzRztRdr3LHPKpxg5iKqcWzXF
          TW: Lot of christian people.

        11. Uly

          Speaking in tongues (at least, for some people – there are presumably people who fake it) does involve a mind-altering state, which can be confirmed by putting them in an MRI while they do it.

          This doesn’t mean that they’re mentally ill. Lots of things can alter your mental state that have nothing to do with your sanity.

          It also doesn’t mean that they actually are being possessed by deities, much less that they’re speaking any sort of language. That should go without saying, but just in case….

        12. HueSatLight

          There are things that put people in a heightened state of suggestion. Like lighting levels and music, to provoke overwhelming emotion, and people subconsciously act how they think it’s supposed to go.
          And some people fake it because they think it’s what’s supposed to happen and they don’t want their friends to know it’s not happening to them for real (and shun them).
          There’s literally classes to teach people to think their internal dialogue or other thoughts are actually the god of the Bible communicating with them.

          Some of the subterfuge is by design. Some of the practices are just things people did and it was successful at producing the results that perpetuated the practices. To use a loaded analogy, evolution of religious behavior.

        13. HueSatLight

          From personal experience, the church primed me to think overwhelming emotions were divine. I was raised mainline protestant, for reference. Our pastor occasionally talking about “the peace that passeth understanding” from being touched by the Holy Spirit. The archaic sounding language is important, it gives the idea gravity.
          I was pretty religious, but I also had doubts about stuff, and I didn’t go in for creationism, and I generally didn’t expect other people to follow my religious strictures. But I did believe some religious based urban legends, like about divine intervention.

          Anyways, once I felt an overwhelming sense of contentment, and I thought, “this must be that peace that passeth understanding, this must be the Holy Spirit.” I didn’t speak in tongues (I already knew that was fake from watching Taxi) or shake, I just relaxed and enjoyed it. It probably helped me repress my doubts for a few years longer. And I wasn’t even in a religious setting. I was around 16, so maybe wonky brain chemistry. It was after a school play, like my short was done and I was just hanging out outside the theater with some friends, so the background level of stress I had from the play was over. The lighting was lowish, and one of my friends was the girl I kind of liked. Looking back, it’s not mysterious at all. But experiencing it, after being taught from a young age that it would be God when I felt like that, that’s how people get that way without mind-altering substances.

        14. Taffy

          Well, that seems mighty comprehensive. Thanks for sharing! It makes more sense now.

        15. Amós Batista

          I wonder if I were able to experience something like that, I shouldn’t abandon the faith. I have somee classes and camp services like you have described, but nothing worked to me. hahaha.

        16. HueSatLight

          A briefer explanation, from the strip, “there are key changes, the key changes feel like God.”

  35. Yoursmoreisburning

    Joyces list of powers continues to grow. And never fails to astound and amaze me.

  36. Alex

    Is… Joyce magical?

    Joe, you marry that girl. Right now. Her mom’s an ordained minister or something.

    1. Slartibeast Button, BIA

      Joyce is a Magical Girl?

      1. Needfuldoer

        She can teleport…

  37. Keulen

    The Dark Side of the Force is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be unnatural. Like un-growing your boyfriend’s facial hair, apparently.

  38. Acher4

    Joyce does have super powers. o.O
    Horror powers! O.O

  39. Matthew Davis

    I wonder if Carol is going to take this as Joyce attempting to pray away Joe’s Jewishness. If she does that may be a road too far for him.

    1. Bryy

      …. that too.

    2. Opus the Poet

      When I attended a Southern Baptist church they tried to “pray away” my wife’s Catholicism when we got married. This was when we lived in Salt Lake City in the late ’70s, so trying to out-weird the magic underwear people on their home turf…

  40. Now

    HOLY MACARONI SHE HAS BEARD POWERS?????

    1. Now

      (I know she made it grow earlier in the day but I thought it just grew by itself because Joe had that kind of hair genetics)

      1. Heavensrun

        There is no “That kind of hair genetics”

        1. Now

          Other people had stated on the commentaries of that day that their stubble was basically back by 11AM ^^

      2. HueSatLight

        Both times it’s just for the humor of it. There’s inconsequential things that happen in the strip that are visual metaphors, sight gags, exaggerations, etc. Both the “growing” and “ungrowing” could be replaced with them changing their perception, especially if Joe has whiskers that are still visible a little bit through the skin and will grow out fairly quickly anyways.
        “Grow” and “ungrow” are just funnier than her closing her eyes and saying “give me a second, I need to be visualizing you with stubble.”

    2. Yotomoe

      Of course she does. She dated Ethan, after all.

      1. milu

        ? TOP COMMENT

  41. Raven

    Lol now Carol thinks Joyce is the one who’s gone off the deep end

  42. Amós Batista

    God forbide me, but it will be a tragedy if Carol joins a pentecostal church, like Assembly of God.

  43. Juanoku

    Ok how in the FUCK

  44. The Oracle

    Joyce could always just kill her mom and frame Mary for it. Doesn’t seem very difficult, and it would eliminate two antagonists.

  45. Amós Batista

    Superman could easily beat Lex Luthor if he get this “hair control” super power…

  46. Slartibeast Button, BIA

    If Joyce has hair *growing* powers, I foresee an extremely lucrative career in treating baldness.

  47. TulipKitten

    … Is Carol gonna hit on Joe? Because if so, that would be hilarious.

  48. Bibliholic93

    BEGONE, 10AM SHADOW, I BANISH THEE TO THE DEPTHS OF THE DRAINSSSSS

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