199

Unhappy
Posted on July 20, 2012 by David M Willis

199 thoughts on “Unhappy”

  1. Bekah

    Oh Walky. Growing up sucks.

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      Growing up doesn’t suck a quarter as much as growing old does.

      1. Bekah

        My father used to always tell me that you can’t grow old if you don’t grow up. He also used to tell me that I was born in a barn and that the moon was made of cheese. Also Santa Claus. He told me Santa Claus.

        1. Plasma Mongoose

          I was told about Santa’s claws and how they can shread the skin off a naughty child in no time.

        2. Icalasari

          I…

          Wait, what?

          No, Santa doesn’t… He doesn’t have claws

          …He has a guy who kidnaps children and forces them to wear blackface while making toys

          I wish I was making that up

        3. Plasma Mongoose

          I have heard of that movie before, didn’t one of the TGWTG crew review it?

        4. Steven

          I think that was an episode of Pokemon.

        5. secret

          I can’t remember if this is Dutch or French story lol

        6. Jenzrr

          Dutch/Belgian. He’s called Sinterklaas (Saint Nicolas) and is supposedly from Spain. He had a Moors servant who entered your house through the chimney to drop off toys (hence the being black) or put you in a bag if you were naughty.

        7. Matthew Davis

          Medievally, Moorish = Black. So i suspect the “he comes down the chimney and that’s why he’s black” answer is an attempt to whitewash the story when it became a bit embarrassing.

        8. Jenzrr

          Didn’t say the ashes were the ‘only’ reason. And I mean really black. Black enough that whatever guy playing him could just smear black makeup on.

        9. PedanticJerkass

          I always heard it was that he’d throw a handful of chimney ashes in your face if you saw him on Christmas night.

        10. Kryss LaBryn

          I think you’re thinking of Grumpus.

        11. S.Yeske

          I think you mean Krampus.
          http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Krampus

        12. Kryss LaBryn

          Krampus! Yes! Thanks. 😀

        13. artemi71

          That’s… that’s not Santa.

          That’s the Merch.

          http://art.penny-arcade.com/photos/i-KqcxTXc/0/O/i-KqcxTXc.jpg

      2. Nee Hou

        True dat.

    2. Yotomoe

      I just imagine the most piano balladey 90s music ever.

    3. Bill M.

      It’s not so much growing up, as realizing that when you are dealing with women, even if you win an argument no matter how insignificant it may seem, you still lose. That goes double for women you’re sexually attracted to.

      1. Bill M.

        … and now I’m apparently Dorothy.

        1. Raoullefere

          Yep. Strange things are afoot at the avatar Circle-K. I’d say maybe it was some sort of weird karma, but I’ve been turned into the psycho R.A., and I can’t work out either why I’d merit that or why my Gravitar isn’t working on this site in the first place.

        2. Raoullefere

          Holy Sh, er jeepers! Willis has this thing set to G rating.

          Who does he think he’s fooling? (Besides me?)

      2. waldosan

        but that argument only works if you’re without principles, personally while sex might be a pillar in whatever marriage i get myself into i’m not going to chain it to my morality, ethics, and principles which i believe are more important in a relationship than just sex.

        any woman i get married to is going to have the distinct disadvantage argumentative of being with a guy who has been effectively single for all of 20+ years. i got this far i can go farther for the sake of being right,

        however all this goes out the window on the occasions that i actually am wrong. i can admit when i’m wrong, it’s faking being wrong for the sake of sex that i can’t stand.

        1. waldosan

          and now apparently i’m the socially inept guy…

  2. David Herbert

    So what’s Walky going to get Mike in return? Hopefully not a nickel.

    1. vsophi

      I dunno man. I’m kinda liking the implications.

    2. Bill M.

      Man, it’s been so long since I’ve seen Galasso in-comic that when I saw him in avatar form, I thought that was a mustache, not his gritting teeth.

      1. Blob Marley

        CANNOT UNSEE

  3. Plasma Mongoose

    It could be worse, at least George Lucas hasn’t used a time-machine to ‘special edition’ your childhood so much that even masturbation is ruined forever.

    1. Bekah

      Someone has been watching SMBC theater.

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        YUP sure have! 😀

    2. Joe H

      Sounds like someone watches SMBC Theater.

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        You were beaten to the punch by a few seconds. ^_^

      2. Izzy

        Jinx. I demand sodas from you both, NOW!

        1. Bekah

          Paid in full

        2. Izzy

          That’s not right. This is Indiana. Soda is coke

        3. Bekah

          If you say so…

        4. Christopher S

          no coplaints this time, I see.

        5. Plasma Mongoose

          In Australia soda is either soda-water or soft-drink.

        6. David

          When I lived there, it was pop.

          (And sure enough, the county Bloomington is located has a mild preference for the term “pop.” Go a little northeast, though….)

        7. taekwondogirl

          Just a little and all of a sudden they look at you like you’re mentally handicapped for saying “pop”. 🙁

  4. Ragnal

    Denial. Because being honest isn’t easy.

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      Denile: The largest river in Africa.

      1. Yotomoe

        Denail: I hate tpyos

      2. AckAckAck

        Denail: A manicurist with Cajun accent.

        1. Raiser

          Denail: what you hit wit’ dehammer.
          De odder nail: what you hit afta you done bandagin’ denail you hit, ya foo.

    2. Rex Hondo

      Den aisle: where you shop for desks and nice chairs and bookshelves and stuff.

    3. Roborat

      Denali, overgrown gas hog that wanna be gansta rappers drive.

      1. Kryss LaBryn

        DeLorean: What Walky will need to save this.

        1. Rex Hondo

          Denarian: Union of a human host and fallen angel bound to one of thirty Roman denarii.

        2. Kiapdx

          You are my favorite.

        3. Rex Hondo

          I don’t know what it is about this comic and this group of commenters that makes Dresden references so easy.

        4. Kernanator

          I assume it’s because Dresden Files appeals to the same demographic. Either way, you’re awesome for referencing it.

  5. taekwondogirl

    So Willis, do you have a diagram of every character’s dorm room so you can keep track of what poster is where?

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      I don’t suppose that you checked the pervious comics to make sure he did just that, did you?

      1. taekwondogirl

        I can’t say that I did, and I’m glad that as David Herbert stated, it was on Tumblr. Putting info like that into comments of an unspecified comic date would be pretty maddening.

    2. David Herbert

      On Tumbr he said he has the backgrounds pre-done so I guess he has the backgrounds for everyone’s dorm rooms laid out.

      1. taekwondogirl

        Ahh, thank you!

  6. LARPeX

    Why does Walky act like a six-year-old? *headdesk*

    1. LARPeX

      …and why are my avatars always female?

      1. Jehosaphat

        And why isn’t my avatar the gravatar I set up?

        1. Jehosaphat

          Nevermind, I lied.

        2. Plasma Mongoose

          Gravs often take about 5 mins to show up.

        3. Raoullefere

          Check the rating of your Gravatar. It has to be G-rated to show up here. Welcome to Wholesomeland.

      2. Alex Stritar

        Because the female avatars are the best avatars. Just look at Korra. XD

        1. Plasma Mongoose

          I have yet to getting around to watching that series.

        2. tahrey

          I’m waiting until it finishes, I might then have time to rent all of the Aang + Korra DVDs at once and watch the whole run in one big marathon.

          (Haven’t seen but a couple episodes and a load of clips of the first… enough to know that it’s well worth the time… but the cost of buying all those discs is a bit prohibitive)

        3. Rex Hondo

          That’s why God gave us Netflix. The entirety of The Last Airbender is available streaming.

        4. ThatJeff

          And it is a surprisingly good series. This is coming from someone that has high personal standards for anime.

        5. NobleRot

          I don’t think it’s anime- isn’t anime sort of japanese, by default?

        6. Rex Hondo

          It isn’t anime, but it is very influenced by anime. Of course, that doesn’t keep it from showing up under the anime listing on Netflix, along with all the American superhero toons.

        7. Plasma Mongoose

          In the West, anime is Japanese cartoons, in Japan itself, anime refers to any kind of animation.

        8. AckAckAck

          Korra is hot, you can’t deny it.

        9. TacosForever

          Who would ever deny that?

        10. Rex Hondo

          She is certainly very, very physically fit.

        11. Khrene Cleaver

          Have they show her stomach yet? I mean yeah shes fit, maybe slighty toned, but all the “fanart” I’ve seen has her abs blasted.

        12. Rex Hondo

          I don’t think they’ve shown it, but I think it can certainly be inferred from the considerable athletic prowess she shows on a fairly regular basis.

        13. Yotomoe

          Blue avatars are pretty sweet too…

        14. Kaylee

          And Kyoshi!

        15. Dr.Z

          Tall women do indeed rule.

        16. Dr.Z

          Ug.

          I got shuffled to a dorky Gravatar.

          Dang.

        17. Rex Hondo

          Don’t you mean DAang?

        18. Plasma Mongoose

          Dr.Z, you need to open a gravatar account and make your own grav then.

        19. Dr.Z

          You are correct. I better get busy! :3

        20. Dr.Z

          Haza! I have my Dexter Gravatar back!

        21. Khrene Cleaver

          Yes this is a fact, oh but it so sucks to be 5′ 4″ in world where women “need” tall men. Of “Wax wane sigh b*tch”

        22. Dr.Z

          ?

          Do you mean it sucks do to social expectations?

  7. Wonder Wig

    You tell ’em Walky. Real pants are for squares.

    1. fellixe

      And square pants are for Spongebobs

  8. Jehosaphat

    Why even wear fake pants? No pants FOREVER!!!

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      Jumping Jehosaphat! 😛

    2. Christopher S

      next Walky should get a UtiliKilt

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        He can grow his hair out and wear dresses, that will certainly change the tone of this comic. 😀

    3. Dr.Z

      Brilliant!

  9. TacosForever

    This comic gives me the sad feelings.

    1. TacosForever

      Although apparently my grinning Roz gravatar does not agree with me.

      1. Leorale

        She’s just grinning in sadness.

        1. TacosForever

          Ah, of course.

  10. AckAckAck

    *A couple seconds later*

    Walky: “Dammit boner!”

    1. Yotomoe

      This was brought to you by Boners
      Boners: Ruining bachelor pads for over 2000 years.

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        The Joker loves boners.

        1. J-Dawg

          Batman loves to ruin the Joker’s boners.

  11. AckAckAck

    Tbh I don’t know why the “Ick” reaction toward that kind of fabric. As a guy who move often for work that kind of pants are just heavenly. Comfortable and not heavy at all.

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      The world might be a happier if less sexy place if more people dressed for comfort rather than fashion.

      1. Yotomoe

        How come when cartoons where the same t-shirt and pants every day noone has a problem but when I do the same thing it’s called unhygenic.

        1. Christopher S

          apparently Daniel Radcliffe used that strategy to confound the paparazzi

        2. Gordon

          Well, he wore the same jacket every day. Then he just wore jeans and a t-shirt.

          The pictures weren’t publishable, because they all looked basically the same.

        3. Leorale

          That.. that’s kind of awesome.

      2. Yotomoe

        How come when cartoons where the same t-shirt and pants every day noone has a problem but when I do the same thing it’s called unhygenic.

        1. Plasma Mongoose

          Cos people in comics often have 10 copies of the same clothes.

        2. N0083rP00F

          Or more ….. just have to check the archives of Olive Oil looking for what to wear …. or the same for Mr Flintstone when looking through his closet.

        3. tahrey

          Well, they do have a problem. It’s called being dirty unwashed college students. If their climate and heating system is anything like what I experienced, they’ll end up spending the colder half of their freshman year only getting undressed (or changed) and letting their bare skin get wet when absolutely necessary.

          Besides, laundry is expensive.

          This is what 72-hour antiperspirant deoderant was made for.

        4. tahrey

          Holy crap, so apparently I’m Joe now?

        5. Roborat

          How about that poor woman in “Real Life Comics”? She has been wearing the same top for some ten years now.

      3. Ancestral Hamster

        Clothing is slavery! Nudism now!

      4. taekwondogirl

        I’m so grateful for a pair of jeans I got as a gift… they’re skinny jeans but the fabric’s so stretchy and soft that they’re almost like sorta loose leggings. Sexy + comfortable, ooh yeah!

      5. Rex Hondo

        Never underestimate the sexiness of a woman who is happy because she dresses comfortably and is not sore from wearing painful but “fashionable” shoes. 😉

    2. secret

      for some women, crotch-hugging pants are disturbing. I can’t even stand looking at briefs or boxer briefs for this reason. and sweatpants are terrifying. something about not wanting to look at flaccid junk I guess…

  12. MarcinMN

    Be strong Walky. You’re better off.

  13. Ren

    Commencing boredom in 3..2..1..engage. *headdesk*

  14. DanielleM

    Oh god this isn’t going to lead to them getting back together is it?

    1. vlademir1

      Meh. Give it a week, in universe time, and they’ll have worked through this… that or Walky/Dina will have kicked in. Either way ;D

      1. Gordon

        A week in Dumbiverse time means…what? We should see more developments in January 2014?

        1. begbert2

          Ever since that shocking timeskip, jokes like this always stumble a bit for me.

        2. Roborat

          My, aren’t you the optomist. It will be 2016 at the earliest

  15. Uniqueantique

    It may lead to Walky realizing he’s made a difficult choice that didn’t work out like he wanted. Loved your Santa remark Plazma, give a kid nightmares for years heh.

  16. Locke

    Huh, awfully empty to your right, isn’t it, buster? Might want a smaller chair. That tends to fix that, in my experience.

  17. Rex Hondo

    Lesson the first: Breakups suck, even when they happen for a perfectly good reason.

  18. kyattei

    Poor Walky… Life’s a little less brighter without a lover. Or a sweet cloned velociraptor.

    1. Greg

      Are… are cloned velociraptors an option now?

      1. kyattei

        Yes! 😀

        I’ve even got a craigslist personals ad going. It’s in the W4V section.

  19. Kernanator

    I can’t tell if Mike would be the best or the worst therapist ever.

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      He makes Dr Phil’s ‘Tough Love’ look kinda wimpy in comparison.

      1. N0083rP00F

        Wonder if we can convince Mike to apply a little of that Tough LOve to DrPhil? A full roll of nickles maybe?

        1. Khrene Cleaver

          By the gods. He would make sweet digusting love to Dr.Phil’s entire family!

      2. Kernanator

        It’s agreed: Mike as a TV therapist would be the greatest thing ever.

  20. AstroRocket

    So, like, he’s totally masturbating in that last panel, right? Because that would be hilarious.

    1. Rex Hondo

      I don’t think he’s doing it right…

  21. Tenn

    Wouldn’t sweatpants be an acceptable alternative for all parties involved?

    1. Tenn

      Appropriate avatar is appropriate.

    2. tahrey

      Ew. No.

      Wait, what’s the difference between thick PJs and thin sweatpants anyway?

      Maybe you could just print a jeans pattern onto sweatpants instead?

      1. Raoullefere

        I’m fairly sure in Dotty-land, only pajamas are pajamas, only sweatpants are sweatpants, and jeans are neither of the twain, nor shall ever be. The fact that all three are basically two tubes of material sewn onto a larger tube has no bearing on the matter. The world must have standards: Dotty’s standards. No other standards need apply.

  22. AJBulldis

    Why is Mike the most likable character in every possible universe?

    1. Dr.Z

      Because everyone else is an idiot?

    2. begbert2

      Because evil is awesome.

      I mean, they have cookies and everything.

  23. tahrey

    I can’t tell if Mike is being snarky or actually serious in the first panel. This could be the closest he’s ever come to an apology.

    1. Heimdallw32

      He’s just doing it to make Walky feel bad.

  24. Dr.Z

    God. Are we really supposed to belive that Dorothy’s behavior is OK ’cause Walky needs a woman, even if that girl would dump him soon anyway, and is a control freak?

    I hope this is just Mike being a double dick and trying to get Walky back into a doomed relationship for the EVULZ, ’cause if not, this aesop is very, very broken.

    1. Historyman68

      The lesson is that sometimes people are jerks to other people, and sometimes they’re unreasonable, and sometimes people miss each other, even when they’re jerks. Sometimes people are human and sometimes they make mistakes.

      Tl;dr just because Walky misses her doesn’t mean Willis is saying her behavior’s fine.

      1. Dr.Z

        I hope you are correct.

      2. Khrene Cleaver

        But giving up a pair faux-pants for a woman ain’t that big a deal…

        1. Khrene Cleaver

          But with that said Dorothy didn’t have to be so harsh about it. I mean its not like she didn’t know how he is.

    2. gangler

      I’m not sure why Walky’s loneliness would translate into vindication for Dorothy. If that was a connection that could be drawn it would colour a whole lot of breakups very differently.

      1. Dr.Z

        Mike is going with the angel that Dorothy was not worth pajama-jeans. I feel strongly this is not about the jeans and it is about some very strong disrespect & control issues from Dorothy.

        My main concern is whether Mike is voicing the author’s views, i.e. Walky should have done as Dorothy commanded as it is better to have a girl who is abusive rather then be single & have some self respect.

        1. Kryss LaBryn

          This is so weird. XD I’m from a fandom that misspells “angel” as “angle” with stereotypical regularity, but this is the first time I have ever seen “angle” misspelled as “angel”. XD It’s kind of hilarious with that background.

        2. Dr.Z

          Thank you for correcting my spelling in such a dignified manner.

        3. Khrene Cleaver

          Abusive is reeaally strong word.

          I mean Walky put on the same pajama pants he had been wearing since he got them (Has it been 2 days?), he’s been sleeping in thme, and he had some fun time in them.

          He went out with Billie, meaning he wasn’t loafing around, it wasn’t the time to be wearing PJs none the less Pjs he’d been wearing and sleeping in for days. It was a bit unacceptable that she didn’t want him to wear jean PJs in public perios, but it seems the boy only has one pair…

        4. Khrene Cleaver

          My point is: dirty habit is dirty and its reasonable to cross the line at “wearing the same pants we fooled around in last night even though you could’ve easily changed.”

          … Now I have the scent of sex, sweat, and Nachitos stuck in my thoughts…

  25. Dr.Z

    Also, any respect I had for Walky breaking up with Dorothy is waning the longer it takes him to punch Mike out cold.

    F*%$ Mike.

    1. TheLastOutlaw

      Punching Mike out solves nothing because Mike did nothing but give Walky something he wanted. It was a thoughtful gift. Walky and Dorothy wrecked their own relationship. If anything Walky needs to thank Mike (again) because having the relationship break off this early is better than later.

      That being said, Walky needs to stay strong. If he caves and goes to her first he will be miserable and controlled forever. Fight the power!

      1. Dr.Z

        “If anything Walky needs to thank Mike (again) because having the relationship break off this early is better than later.

        That being said, Walky needs to stay strong. If he caves and goes to her first he will be miserable and controlled forever. Fight the power!”

        I could not agree more.

        Except the controlled forever bit, ’cause I definitely see Dorothy dumping him as soon as she can transfer (or failing that, starts her career). ‘Course that still leads to the miserable state of being…

        1. Eve

          Isn’t the entire point of the relationship they had that it was something non-serious and non commital they could end when they wanted without much drama?

        2. Dr.Z

          Indeed.

          But such a thing does not exist.

  26. Jim

    Oh Walky, stop being a dick!

    1. Kernanator

      I love how you think Walky is being a dick compared to Mike.

      1. artemi71

        Mike IS being a dick.

        But he’s ALSO done nothing wrong. He gave Walky exactly what he wanted.

        Be careful what you wish for.

  27. gangler

    Ah. To be single or to not always have it your way. The eternal conundrum.

  28. Creativerealms

    I LOLed at Mike’s Cat Motivational poster. Yes it’s perfect for Mike.

  29. OmegaDez

    Damn.
    Is Walky autistic? Or just insane? He’s definitely starting to creep me out.
    What’s wrong with pants? Is he really ditching such a sweet girl just because he wants to look like a complete weirdo in public?

    This is getting weird.

    1. begbert2

      Walky stomped away from Dorothy because she was being a freaky rude control freak. He reiterated his love of pajama jeans now because Mike robbed him of the chance of reversing his decision by feigning hurt at the idea that his gift was bad – Mike guilt-tripped Walky into proclaiming his love of the jeans, hatred of pants, and his firmed resolve to dump Dorothy forever. Thusly Mike has deftly orchestrated Walky’s self-destruction without doing a single overly blameworthy thing.

      Mike is God.

    2. Dr.Z

      “Is he really ditching such a sweet girl…”

      Are we reading the same comic???

      Dorothy is a very ‘morally complex’ person, I’m not saying she’s EVUL!!! but she is a jerk to a lot of characters, and Walky is the second person she has given a brazen ultimatum to.

      The first ultimatum I recall was to Amazi-Girl, which boiled down to a demand that Amazi-Girl give her exclusive interviews or Dorothy will find out who she is and out her.

      Dorothy is many things, but ‘sweet’ is not one of her first qualities that come to mind.

    3. Rust

      Said “Sweet Girl” made it clear to Walky that it was only a casual fling, and then proceeded to try to tell him how to live his life.

      How precious.

      1. TheLastOutlaw

        Which is why I think most of us agree that Walky was justified in walking away from her.

        I bet this is the first time someone broke up with Dorothy. I get the impression she’s used to being the one to do the dumping.

        1. Dr.Z

          I hope it is a growing moment for her.

        2. historyman68

          A growing moment? In a Willis comic?

    4. Valdrax

      No, he’s just stubborn and immature. Apparently, he didn’t get his way at home so much, so now that he’s on his own he’s doing the man-child thing where he mistakes the legal right to do anything he wants for a social permit to do so.

      He’ll either grow out of it, find a total doormat of a girlfriend who never once raises a word to him and end up “happy” together, or end up forever alone.

      1. historyman68

        Okay. Dorothy is used to being in a relationship with a guy who’s so into her he chose his college based on her, so she spoke to Walky like she’s used to speaking to Danny.

        Walky seems to have issues with people telling him what to do, so when Dorothy spoke to him like that, he reacted in a similar way to his twin sister – by getting the heck out of there.

        They’ve both got a lot of learning to do, but they’re gonna be fine.

  30. Greg

    I like the way Mike is holding his hands in front of him. Makes him seem so evil and calculating.

    1. Kernanator

      All he needs is orange glasses and a beard.

  31. Ray

    Poor Walky. Life is compromise.

  32. Dr.Z

    So, will Mike go after Ethan after this has played out to his satisfaction?

  33. Scot

    Mike is a mofo,
    that’s what he is.
    Mike is a mofo,
    banging moms is his biz.

  34. an ancient indian burial ground

    Just wanted to complement the “you’re fucked” poster. Very Mike.

    1. Dr.Z

      The poster brings up a disturbing question I’ve had for a while. Does Mike really kill cat & other animals???

      1. Regalli

        As far as we know, no. That said, the poster’s actually a riff on an old one of a kitten hanging in a tree saying “Hang in there! Kibble’s on the way!” or something along those lines. It’s probably an actual demotivational-type poster, not something he made himself.

        1. Regalli

          Huh. Who am I now?

    2. David

      The poster is a multiversal singularity.

      1. historyman68

        all the best ones are.

      2. historyman68

        I expected that that link would result in a bunch of new comments on that two-year-old comic, but apparently I was the only one.

        Anyway, I really like the drawing style on that one. Very loose.

      3. Dr.Z

        Thank you for the response, Mr. Willis.

    3. Noel Schornhorst

      I agree. I love that poster. Very cute.

  35. AngelMatvey

    I can’t decide whether Mike is a bastard or a good guy in disguise. I mean, I tend to lean towards good guy, but he very well could just be an ass.

    1. Rex Hondo

      The two are not mutually exclusive. Just as “light” doesn’t automatically equal “good” and “dark” doesn’t equal “evil,” “nice” and “asshole” don’t necessarily correspond to good and evil.
      I’m convinced that Mike is the ultimate asshole force for good.

  36. Maycroft

    A lesson life had taught me. Living the dream isn’t as sweet as pursuing it.

  37. Meygaera

    Mike is the best. I think Mike x Joyce would be interesting.

    1. TacosForever

      Mike/Joyce just makes me think of that fantastic fan art that Willis showcased:
      http://www.dumbingofage.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/RobKellett-brown-warner-xxx-300×264.png

  38. KD

    Pajama Overalls? Just came across this. Obviously it reminded me of Walky.
    http://sunshineandpearls.tumblr.com/post/18562548134

  39. cwDeici

    Wow Mike is nice…

  40. acoraz

    Damn. Mike is forcing Walky to choose between girls and growing up, without Walky realizing he’s doing it.

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