141

Unimpressed
Posted on May 11, 2012 by David M Willis

141 thoughts on “Unimpressed”

  1. Kernanator

    Hero worship ain’t all it’s cracked up to be, huh Sal?

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      The only hero worth ‘worshipping’ has an assortment of tasty meats with a spict sauce in it.

    2. Aizat

      To quote Patrick Star, “Hero worship is unhealthy. Come along Jeffrey.”

      1. antiwesley

        “People who worship heroes must be prepared for disillusionment.” – Richard Conway, “Lost Horzion” (1973)

  2. Rognik

    Ooh, so close to that kiss!

    1. Aizat

      Yet so far.

  3. Mkvenner

    And stupid.

  4. SUTBEric

    [Freddie Mercury] So close…

    1. Kernanator

      …I’m embarrassed to say this as a Queen fan, but what does this have to do with Freddie Mercury?

      1. George

        It’s a meme.

        1. Kernanator

          …You lost me.

        2. luke

          google so close meme, it uses an image of freddie

      2. Plasma Mongoose

        Billie is a big-bottomed girl…

        1. Kernanator

          I’m pretty sure that Billie is the only one that thinks she makes the world go round.

        2. Plasma Mongoose

          *strokes my chinny chin chin* True that…

      3. abjuron

        Don’t feel bad. I also love Queen, but had to turn to Google to crack this joke nut.

        It’s apparently a meme in the same ‘tracing’ graphic style as Barak Obama’s “Not Bad” and Yao Ming’s laugh face. I’d seen the image before, but never actually realized it was Freddy.

        1. Kernanator

          Thank you for solving this mystery for me.

        2. Plasma Mongoose

          Google is your friend, a friend who knows more about you than even you do. BWAHAHAHAHA!

        3. TheBenenator

          This isn’t even a joke.

        4. Yotomoe

          spoken like a mike.

        5. Plasma Mongoose

          I don’t know, I’m sure Google is laughing. 😀

  5. Plasma Mongoose

    Sober up, get some mouthwash and maybe Sal will kiss ya, ya fool!

    1. KresyAntics

      I doubt it… That was a pretty effective crash-n-burn.

  6. Platypus

    Ladies and Gentlemen, launch the ships.

    1. Leorale

      Oh, they’ve been launched.

      1. Ancestral Hamster

        And torpedos were launched right up the ships’ wakes. *BOOM*

    2. Arkadi

      Loooong ago.

  7. Gundi

    And Willis just poured gasoline on the shipping fires…

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      …and put the ships in danger.

    2. Aizat

      Just poured gasoline? More like poured the gasoline, add the sawdust and handing the shippers a lit match.

      1. SUTBEric

        Willis erected a small volcano of shipping fire.

        1. Raiser

          Not the only thing getting erected around ‘ere.

  8. Wonder Wig

    Annnnnnd the ship hit an iceberg. X\

    1. Aizat

      For you maybe. For others, it’s just more fuel to the fire.

  9. Yotomoe

    It’s as if the cry of 1000 shippers suddenly flared up and was suddenly silenced.

    1. Kernanator

      I feel something. A feeling I have not felt since Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince.

      1. Thor

        SNAPE KISSED DUMBLEDORE!

        1. Kernanator

          Well played.

        2. Plasma Mongoose

          That pretty much confirms the Dumbledore is gay rumour.

        3. TacosForever

          Rumor? JK Rowling confirmed it.

        4. Aizat

          Well, it started as a rumor.

        5. Bluemario

          Actually, it was “confirmed” by her after the excitement of the last movie, (the last object in the series), so it was quite obviously alot of pess-talk BS to pull more attention, getting her (JKR) more money for longer

        6. David

          Because characters are only gay for illegitimate reasons.

        7. ASP3CT

          Then you’re one hell of a bastard, Willis.

  10. Rayrayrave

    So so close!

    1. Darth

      And yet so far away.

  11. Leorale

    Panel 2 Billie is Pacman

    1. Yotomoe

      Instead of Pac-Man Pellets she Drinks Budweiser to power up!

      1. Kernanator

        And when she drinks the big ones (Kegs),… she throws up.

        1. Yotomoe

          I feel like it could be some sort of metaphor that drinking beer would assist your ability to swallow balls but I’m not quite clever enough to find asuiting way to phrase it.

        2. Kernanator

          Instead of ghosts, they’re fratboys??

        3. Plasma Mongoose

          Unlike in highschool, the fratboys tend to run away from her nowadays.

        4. John42

          Both of them wear white sheets

        5. Khrene Cleaver

          The first thing that came to mind were the KKK, and not the frat group “Kappa Kappa Kappa”…

        6. Historyman68

          If it were Mario, it’d be Koopa Koopa Koopa?

        7. Plasma Mongoose

          Thus driving away the ghosts of her high-school past.

        8. Kernanator

          Oooh, that’s even better!

    2. Jimbo

      that second panel…..

      I’m glad I’m not the only one who saw that!

    3. ryan

      i was thinking domo

  12. Leorale

    Hey, wait, Sal almost *liked* somebody?

    Well Sarah is never impressed with anyone, so maybe Sal will like her.

  13. Aizat

    So close, yet so far.

  14. Nexev

    I feel bad for Billie now.

  15. Doctor_Who

    I get it. Billie’s plan is to be so pathetic that she appeals to Sal’s nature as a superhero (I know she’s not Amazi-Girl. She’s still a superhero.), and her desire to care for and nurture others. Then: pity sex.

    It worked on Huntress once, really.

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      Pity sex? Isn’t that the goal of every so-called ‘nice-guy’?

      1. Aizat

        Hey, us nice-guys aren’t all perverted sex fiends, you know.

        1. Kernanator

          Yeah, some of us are practically asexual!

        2. Plasma Mongoose

          I think it would be better if all the decent guys abandon the term ‘nice-guy’ to describe themselves, it conjures up the image of a wishy-washy guy who hopes that by being the perfect male-girlfriend that she will reward him with her body one day.

        3. Yotomoe

          I’m an exemplary guy.

        4. Plasma Mongoose

          See, isn’t that a lot better?

        5. Groove

          I am a captain of manhood.

        6. Yotomoe

          I’m the overlord of manliness.

        7. Groove

          A penile paragon.

        8. Yotomoe

          A paragon of the male pursuasion

        9. Groove

          I just realised that these are becoming increasingly great gay-porn-names.

          I was going to be the cream of the cock…

        10. Khrene Cleaver

          The terrible thing is that that image can be true(replace her body with whatever the nice guy is looking for.)

          The apparent wishy washy-ness came in (at least with me) in the form of not knowing when to advance, and trying to not push a girls boundaries, as intimate interactions are enjoyable and desirable, but you know the guy could not want to offend or feel like he’s pressuring her into something she’s not ready for.

          In short wishy washy comes from a guy trying to finding the fine line between being the macho man and doing as some gals want them to and assert themselves, but be respectful and courteous of her feelings.

          Now imagine going through that with someone who is as confused as like Billie about what they want… *Sigh*

      2. Yotomoe

        I think we nice guys would just like consensual hand holding. c:

      3. Aegon01

        No, it’s just the only realistic one.

  16. Scoops!

    mmmwa

  17. Cholma

    Come on, Sal! Billie’s just trying to “experiment in college”! Don’t let her down!

  18. Eri

    I thought Billie’s hair had become very long all of a sudden. Very confusing

  19. Yotomoe

    We know what you must do Billie. Let your hair down, fake a southern accent, get a tan, a leather jacket, and a bike, and try to become Sal.

    1. Kernanator

      Ooooooh, nice. Psychological breakdown at its finest!

      1. Aizat

        Oh great, it’s Lesson Zero all over again.

        1. Kernanator

          Oh come on, you know it would be hilarious. In a creepy sort of way.

        2. Aizat

          I’d pay to see Billie saying “Hi girls” in the most creepy fashion.

        3. Gargamel

          She can’t do it without a proper sal-skin-suit though.

    2. Aizat

      Dude, that’s creepy.

      1. Yotomoe

        So’s drunkedly tryin’ to make out with your bunkmate…who’s the twin sister of your childhood friend you’re trying to outgrow.

        1. Aizat

          Well, as they always say, if you don’t get the childhood friend, get his or her sister.

        2. NCP19

          I feel like you’re making some kind of psychological point but I’m just not seeing it…XD

    3. GenericScreenName101

      *pushes up thick rimmed nerd glasses* you forgot that she needs to also get a tatoo. *walks away to grab personalized TI-88 and awaits a ride from mother who is now either one nickle richer/poorer but sexually satisfied*

  20. SkepticJ

    I love that Billie has a picture of herself in her cheerleading uniform on the wall.

    1. Yotomoe

      it’s in yesterday’s comic too. I’m surprised how few people noticed.

      1. Kernanator

        To be fair, it’s a bit more prominent in this one.

      2. SkepticJ

        I didn’t even notice it from yesterday. Now that I go back and look, I love it even more. I thought that the photo might have included the other cheerleaders on her squad, but it is so much funnier as a solo pic.

  21. Uniqueantique

    Love the last panel, ‘Fwump’. Wonder if Billie will wake up on the floor. Not to suprizing she has a picture of self in cheer leading costume on the wall-she’s frozen in high school mode. I really hope she moves on. There is hope, other characters have grown, why not her.

    1. Sensedog

      Alcoholism, arrogance, and a desperate desire to be popular. That would be why. I hope that she can have an epiphany about her problems, but in her case she might do more damage to herself before that ever happens.

      1. TacosForever

        To be fair, she’s only been in college for like…a week? One could argue that the other characters have grown very fast. Mm, comic time.

        1. Sensedog

          I cannot disagree. However, Billie in particular has been hammered, what, three or four times within the span of that first week? I would worry about what the first month or two could do to her if she doesn’t come to her senses.

          I actually enjoy the flow of time in this comic, since it makes it easier to track the overall passage of time in relation to the lives of the characters.

  22. david

    A thought – that face looks incredibly weird in panel 2, and now I can’t unsee it.

    1. Jackson

      haunted by Billie’s noseless visage for months

    2. begbert2

      Yeah, not the most flattering angle, is it? I’m not sure Willis has figured out how the rear three-quarters view works in his art style.

  23. Robert

    Okay now Faceplant! And……scene…

  24. TacosForever

    This reminds me way too much of the first time I got drunk. Except I didn’t attempt any random makeouts.

    This makes me wonder–how is Billie not better at holding her liquor at this point? Since I assume she was drinking all through high school.

    1. Scoops!

      You didn’t try random makeouts? Then what’s the point?

      1. Yotomoe

        It’s like getting high and not eating all the cheezits.

    2. Kernanator

      Hey, we don’t know exactly how much Billie drank. All we know is that she was holding a bottle of something.

      1. Sensedog

        I would imagine that it is some form of hard liquor; I saw only the one bottle this time around, and it would take more than one beer to get Billie drunk at this point.

        …I shudder to think what something like Everclear would do to her, since she still doesn’t seem to know her own limits.

    3. GenericScreenName101

      So you dressed up in your hs cheerleader uniform when you got drunk for the 1st time eh. (Glad I aint the only one)

  25. Dahlia

    Sal is just too awesome to not love!

  26. Krashthemystro

    Fwump is my new favorite non-word.

  27. BigMadDraco

    Ah, so DoA Billy is bi as well.

  28. John42

    So what do we call this ship exactly? Sallie or Bal?

    1. Blue

      Why not Sillie?

      1. Historyman68

        Ding ding we have a winner

  29. Osaru Sensei

    Panel 2: ‘OH GOD HER NOSE WHAT HAPPENED TO HER NOSE’ was my reaction, pretty much

    1. Jason

      It’s like she suddenly became a “Starslip Crisis” character!

  30. TemplarKnight

    So close. . .

  31. Historyman68

    Sal continues to be my favorite person in the comic.

    1. Historyman68

      Dammit, did I say Sal? I meant Billie. Really. Rillie.

      1. Maycroft

        yeah Riiight

        1. Historyman68

          No, I mean it! Billie is such a fuckup, she’s totally compelling

  32. Cadlington

    “And to top all that cool shit off, you don’t lose your nose in the second panel!”

  33. Keroshino

    panel 2. Billie looks like a muppet lol

    1. Arkadi

      Scary.

  34. Gargamel

    I don’t actually think Billie actions were motivated by any attraction, she has serious issues if it only takes a disinhibitor to make her go from what sounds to me more like:
    “Why are you so cool?”
    to
    “I’ll give you anything to find out how you are so cool… ANYTHING!” *attempts kiss*

    1. Historyman68

      That is how Madonna sucked out Britney and Christina Aguilera’s cool.

  35. ziggy78eog

    For shame, Sal, you do not let you room mate drop like that. You have to catch them.

    1. Animal

      And kiss them.

      1. Zap Rowsdower

        Or draw silly things on their faces in permanent marker, depending.

        1. Gargamel

          That may still happen.

  36. Elricaltovilla

    Well this just adds more support to my personal ship of Everyone X Everyone and their mom (for a nickel)

    Thanks Willis!

  37. Zababcd

    I knew it had to be there somewhere.

    1. Zababcd

      By which I mean that I rummaged through TVTropes for hours before finding the article I was looking for, but found it eventually.

  38. Mp

    haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaate billie.

  39. L

    SO I herd u like Sal…

    1. Animal

      Wait, what? There is a large grouping of some sort of ungulates, presumably attending some institute of higher education that is named for their aggregation – and Sal is somehow involved with this?

      So does this school – “Herd U,” you called it, presumably for “Herd University,” likes Sal? Well, who wouldn’t – but do they all like her? Students and faculty alike? I couldn’t blame them, but depending on the size of the university and the species of ungulates attending, it’s hard to credit such a universal level of approval.

  40. Zem

    This is the magical parallel universe where Billie becomes a lesbian! WIIGII!

  41. DragoonChris

    Aww, so close.

    So what does Sal do late at night if she isn’t Amazi-Girl?

    1. John

      Marcie.

  42. Taigan

    O_o I don’t think I saw this strip the first time around.

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