It comes in a rind. People used to boil it to get the rind to come off, thinking that the boiling also neutralized toxins. In truth, that’s just an old superstition. You can just peel it instead and it’s quite edible. Most people think this is a modern discovery, but the technique was known for centuries before entering popular use. Scholars have found reference to it as far back as the 13th century’s Carmina Burana:
“Oh, for tuna, peel it’s boon, a plate of very edibles…”
Joyce: “Now, while some would say that adding mushroom soup to the tuna is an intelligent way to design a recipe, my new theory holds that the casserole that was more souplike was naturally more likely to be selected by people, and so all tuna casserole became more mushroomy over time. Don’t you agree that makes sense? I tried to explain it to Dina, and she made funny noises.”
That’s the problem. Most people think of the Campbell’s library-paste version and so, understandably, can’t stand it.
Actual mushroom soup, though … Some people denigrate it; I do not hear their words.
Mushrooms are disgusting; I don’t even want to know how they ‘cream of’ the things.
StClair
The secret, as it were, is that most dishes of that description do not actually render the named ingredient into cream, but merely suspend and cook it in the latter.
(Now, I happen to love mushrooms, but more for me to each their own.)
Needfuldoer
You can have all the dirt flavored fungus earthy mushrooms you want.
For what it’s worth, I agree with XKCD on lobster. Quahogs are also nasty, unless they’re minced and deep fried into clamcakes. https://xkcd.com/1268/
I hated eggs as a kid but loved French toast, though I’d get upset at the corner of the toast that always had a bit more egg than the rest. My mom told me she found an egg-free French toast recipe, so I happily ate them for years.
I was in my twenties when I realized there was no egg-free French toast recipe.
I don’t want to step on your misfortune, but how does one die from being too much of an asshole?
umm… asking for a friend?
Michael Haneline
I honestly think I’d trigger some people posting all the details here. Feel free to email me at high tech artist, but without the spaces at gmail dot com , if you find your curiosity to be to all-consuming.
Despite Rage
TBH, I’m not sure I want to read it now. I was hoping for quick carmic retribution story, but it sounds like I’m wandering into “real shit” territory too much for my current mood. I enjoy hearing about people getting what they deserve (probably more than I should), but I also don’t want to make you drag up trauma or deal with how I’d feel about it.
I hope you are doing well and are surrounded by friends and support. Even though it sounds like it was a long time ago, still real.
And I mean as an autistic with serious food aversions and a deeply fucked-up relationship with religion in my preteen years that required atheism to curb the compulsive anxiety rituals there… Like, I GET it, but she is STILL neurotic and odd in ways I go ‘holy shit, Joyce, I have concerns.’
I think she just has weird neuroses due to her upbringing. I had weird food things like that when I was a kid but I grew out of most of them, except my hatred for most vegetables, still have that. Joyce clearly needs more time to grow out of her weird food neuroses, although I doubt she’ll ever be truly adventurous as an eater.
I personally don’t think it’s either. Kids whose parents present a united front naturally see them as a unit, and iirc, hers do. If it’s the food issue, that’s also a I don’t think so as many ppl are like this that aren’t on the spectrum or have other issues. It’s simply a idiosynchacy
If Joyce was such a fussy eater, how did her parents deal with this? I was and my mom made it very very clear that you either eat what is offered or go hungry. To this day I am uncomfortable with people fussing at me over food.
Aragonius42
I think her parents mistake was that they only ever presented her with a narrow selection of food which she’s gotten extremely accustomed to. The only food she recognizes as food is the food she grew up eating exactly the way her mom always prepared it….
BBCC
I mean, if they’re not fans of stuff touching like Joyce it’s really not that hard. If you want to eat something that involves stuff touching, that’s what ingredients are for. Take, for example, beef soup – I can’t eat it without feeling like I’ll be sick because stuff touching is disgusting. I DO like beef, potatoes, carrots, and peas though, so I take my share from the ingredients and that’s my dinner.
thejeff
Or apparently by presenting it so that it’s all one thing rather than two things touching. I can see the touching thing with stew, but Joyce apparently also has issues with sauces, except not with mac and cheese or now tuna casserole.
Even without the cream of mushroom soup, tuna casserole is still pasta and tuna touching, right? And often peas or some other vegetable, though that varies.
BBCC
Yeah, I can’t speak about her exceptions, because I’m allergic to cheese so no Mac and cheese and I think all casseroles are gross.
KSClaw
I’ve had it similar because my mom was of that generation, except I have always resented anything that looked like shellfish (especially crabs and shrimps). My parents were always annoyed at how picky I was about it, but I would absolutely throw a tantrum if there were shellfish of some kind on the plate, and it was touching the rest of my food.
Then in my early 20s, we found out that I was allergic to shellfish. So I don’t know if part of it could be something similar for Joyce (I can’t remember if we’ve learned she’s allergic to something specific), but it’s definitely something I can relate to, as someone who would be considered so picky that they would rather go hungry than touch their plate.
SalleighG
I would make it clear that I would rather go hungry than eat mushrooms. Turned out that I am at least “sensitive” and possibly allergic to them. That is, I react to them on the allergy scratch test, but I haven’t had the antibody test to see if it is a true allergy. So I do not know for sure if they just make me feel bad, or if they can kill me.
My refusing to eat mushrooms was different in my mind than my refusing to eat Liver. Liver just smelled and tasted awful, but it wasn’t the existential threat that mushrooms were to me.
Mr D
Musroms can kill my girlfriend as can bread, most every thing with gluten, fucking Vitamin B…
I sometimes wonder how she made it to today. good thing I’m a cook so as long as I have a list of things she can and cannot eat I can make tasty food for her,
I honestly believe that there are some neurotypical folks who are picky eaters, though in all fairness Joyce does seem to be on the extreme end of pickiness.
I don’t know about all of that. As they present in my family, autistic traits are hypersensitivity and difficulty with social interactions. That is not what Joyce has, though it does appear that she does have an extreme need to have a great deal of control over the aspects of her life, in this case her food.
She has a hard time with change. She also has a difficult time dealing with learning that any belief that she holds might be incorrect. These are traits that autistic people can have, but there are stronger indicators.
The thing about her food is not that she refuses to eat things because they don’t “feel” right like an autistic person might, but rather because the food is made from many different things mixed together. That seems to be a thing that just upsets her tremendously and I imagine that is because she then cannot control everything she is eating as a result.
221 thoughts on “Unit”
Ana Chronistic
so, when you harvest tuna casserole from the ground, do you wash it off before eating, how does that work
Ccubed
It grows encased in Tupperware, like a giant plastic nut with a tuna center.
Jess
Jesus, this is the most cursed thing I’ve read all week. Thank you??
anonymousethatscurriesinthedarkness
The week is young yet. There are ample opportunities to go oh so much further.
clif
Indeed,
Slartibeast Button, BIA
You summon it from the Plane Of Elemental Tuna.
clif
This is a minor plane of resistance which separated out from the realm of modern discordant music on account of them not being able to carry a tuna.
Marsh Maryrose
This totally explains the Willisian theory of Mac and cheese.
Deanatay
Excuse me, it’s mac’n’cheese, one word.
FOR. ONE. THING.
Some Ed
I thought it was mackencheese. Those apostrophes make it look like something is missing. I mean, apart from the ‘ke’ that you gratutitously left out.
Reltzik
It comes in a rind. People used to boil it to get the rind to come off, thinking that the boiling also neutralized toxins. In truth, that’s just an old superstition. You can just peel it instead and it’s quite edible. Most people think this is a modern discovery, but the technique was known for centuries before entering popular use. Scholars have found reference to it as far back as the 13th century’s Carmina Burana:
“Oh, for tuna, peel it’s boon, a plate of very edibles…”
maarvarq
+1
Ray Radlein
oh
my
god
Sunny
Congratulations! You won the internet today!
Deanatay
Also, the rind is high in pectin. Tuna farmers have been making tuna marmalade for centuries.
clif
You say that, but marmalade is a great as a cooking sauce for tuna.
Marsh Maryrose
I. AM. IN. AWE.
Pylgrim
What, and strip away like 90% of the nutrients? You just shake off the dirt and it’s ready to heat up.
Charles Spencer
You mine it, like treacle.
Doctor_Who
Joyce: “Now, while some would say that adding mushroom soup to the tuna is an intelligent way to design a recipe, my new theory holds that the casserole that was more souplike was naturally more likely to be selected by people, and so all tuna casserole became more mushroomy over time. Don’t you agree that makes sense? I tried to explain it to Dina, and she made funny noises.”
Savail
I love this, thank you.
abysswatcher1993
Joyce describing natural selection by accident would be so ironic.
a/snow/mous/e
Seems more like artificial selection, but close enough I suppose…
Perhaps if you think tuna casserole is symbiotic with humans?
C.T Phipps
Now, now Joyce there’s another solution.
It’s called murder.
*DUN DUN DUN DUN*
C.T Phipps
To a bad marriage between a crazy terrorist and Hank. Not tuna casserole.
FYI – I had the SAME reaction Joyce did to that discovery about my mom’s tuna casserole.
“MUSHROOMS? HISS!”
Doctor_Who
I had a similar tuna revelation as a kid.
I hated mayonnaise. But I loved tuna fish sandwiches.
Watching my mom actually prepare one was basically like this.
Bicycle Bill
The amount of mushroom in cream of mushroom soup (especially the condensed kind) is so small it must be measured by spectroscopic analysis.
thejeff
homeopathic mushroom soup?
DSL
That’s the problem. Most people think of the Campbell’s library-paste version and so, understandably, can’t stand it.
Actual mushroom soup, though … Some people denigrate it; I do not hear their words.
Nick
I, by contrast, love cream of mushroom soup, but can’t stand anything with tuna in it.
Needfuldoer
Mushrooms are disgusting; I don’t even want to know how they ‘cream of’ the things.
StClair
The secret, as it were, is that most dishes of that description do not actually render the named ingredient into cream, but merely suspend and cook it in the latter.
(Now, I happen to love mushrooms, but
more for meto each their own.)Needfuldoer
You can have all the
dirt flavored fungusearthy mushrooms you want.For what it’s worth, I agree with XKCD on lobster. Quahogs are also nasty, unless they’re minced and deep fried into clamcakes.
https://xkcd.com/1268/
Benjamin Geiger
I hated eggs as a kid but loved French toast, though I’d get upset at the corner of the toast that always had a bit more egg than the rest. My mom told me she found an egg-free French toast recipe, so I happily ate them for years.
I was in my twenties when I realized there was no egg-free French toast recipe.
DSL
You simply toast a slice of bread and serve it rudely.
JetstreamGW
Killin’ me, Smalls.
goggleman64
^
Chris
I’m more than twice her age, and still have trouble not thinking of my parents as a single unit.
Michael Haneline
What really helped me separate the two in my mind was them getting a divorce and then my dad dying from being too much of an asshole.
Despite Rage
I don’t want to step on your misfortune, but how does one die from being too much of an asshole?
umm… asking for a friend?
Michael Haneline
I honestly think I’d trigger some people posting all the details here. Feel free to email me at high tech artist, but without the spaces at gmail dot com , if you find your curiosity to be to all-consuming.
Despite Rage
TBH, I’m not sure I want to read it now. I was hoping for quick carmic retribution story, but it sounds like I’m wandering into “real shit” territory too much for my current mood. I enjoy hearing about people getting what they deserve (probably more than I should), but I also don’t want to make you drag up trauma or deal with how I’d feel about it.
I hope you are doing well and are surrounded by friends and support. Even though it sounds like it was a long time ago, still real.
iz
I think I never had that problem because my parents are completely different and fight all the time since I was like 4.
Bruceski
…there’s what now? I’m with Joyce here.
Rose by Any Other Name
Personally, I’m more adverse to the tuna.
Cream of Mushroom is the fucking best.
Rex Vivat
Honestly, same.
Deanatay
I would have agreed, until I learned that cream of mushroom contained, well… you know… MUSHROOMS. Couldn’t stand it after that.
So, yeah, I understand Joyce’s mind set.
bryy
Oh hey, it’s this arc.
Johan
God I love Joyce.
Mr D
Joyce you’re weird.
I say this as someone on the friggin spectrum.
Regalli
She’s… DEEPLY neurotic.
And I mean as an autistic with serious food aversions and a deeply fucked-up relationship with religion in my preteen years that required atheism to curb the compulsive anxiety rituals there… Like, I GET it, but she is STILL neurotic and odd in ways I go ‘holy shit, Joyce, I have concerns.’
C.T Phipps
As a high functioning religious autistic, I wish to give you an internet hug.
*puts it in a box and hands it over*
KSClaw
Oh Joyce. I hope you get to talk to your dad alone.
FLUFFY
…does Joyce have untreated autism or is this a result of being questionably socialized? Serious question
Stephen Bierce
Walky’s more likely to be autistic than Joyce. But functioning levels are no indicator.
Norah
I think Walky is more likely ADHD, though I guess he could be both.
Kyrik Michalowski
I think she just has weird neuroses due to her upbringing. I had weird food things like that when I was a kid but I grew out of most of them, except my hatred for most vegetables, still have that. Joyce clearly needs more time to grow out of her weird food neuroses, although I doubt she’ll ever be truly adventurous as an eater.
Nono
Becky isn’t really weird with food, it’s really not the upbringing but more just Joyce.
Now, not having a healthy way to process her neuroses, that’s the upbringing.
P!enapple
I personally don’t think it’s either. Kids whose parents present a united front naturally see them as a unit, and iirc, hers do. If it’s the food issue, that’s also a I don’t think so as many ppl are like this that aren’t on the spectrum or have other issues. It’s simply a idiosynchacy
Slartibeast Button, BIA
If Joyce was such a fussy eater, how did her parents deal with this? I was and my mom made it very very clear that you either eat what is offered or go hungry. To this day I am uncomfortable with people fussing at me over food.
Aragonius42
I think her parents mistake was that they only ever presented her with a narrow selection of food which she’s gotten extremely accustomed to. The only food she recognizes as food is the food she grew up eating exactly the way her mom always prepared it….
BBCC
I mean, if they’re not fans of stuff touching like Joyce it’s really not that hard. If you want to eat something that involves stuff touching, that’s what ingredients are for. Take, for example, beef soup – I can’t eat it without feeling like I’ll be sick because stuff touching is disgusting. I DO like beef, potatoes, carrots, and peas though, so I take my share from the ingredients and that’s my dinner.
thejeff
Or apparently by presenting it so that it’s all one thing rather than two things touching. I can see the touching thing with stew, but Joyce apparently also has issues with sauces, except not with mac and cheese or now tuna casserole.
Even without the cream of mushroom soup, tuna casserole is still pasta and tuna touching, right? And often peas or some other vegetable, though that varies.
BBCC
Yeah, I can’t speak about her exceptions, because I’m allergic to cheese so no Mac and cheese and I think all casseroles are gross.
KSClaw
I’ve had it similar because my mom was of that generation, except I have always resented anything that looked like shellfish (especially crabs and shrimps). My parents were always annoyed at how picky I was about it, but I would absolutely throw a tantrum if there were shellfish of some kind on the plate, and it was touching the rest of my food.
Then in my early 20s, we found out that I was allergic to shellfish. So I don’t know if part of it could be something similar for Joyce (I can’t remember if we’ve learned she’s allergic to something specific), but it’s definitely something I can relate to, as someone who would be considered so picky that they would rather go hungry than touch their plate.
SalleighG
I would make it clear that I would rather go hungry than eat mushrooms. Turned out that I am at least “sensitive” and possibly allergic to them. That is, I react to them on the allergy scratch test, but I haven’t had the antibody test to see if it is a true allergy. So I do not know for sure if they just make me feel bad, or if they can kill me.
My refusing to eat mushrooms was different in my mind than my refusing to eat Liver. Liver just smelled and tasted awful, but it wasn’t the existential threat that mushrooms were to me.
Mr D
Musroms can kill my girlfriend as can bread, most every thing with gluten, fucking Vitamin B…
I sometimes wonder how she made it to today. good thing I’m a cook so as long as I have a list of things she can and cannot eat I can make tasty food for her,
Norah
I honestly believe that there are some neurotypical folks who are picky eaters, though in all fairness Joyce does seem to be on the extreme end of pickiness.
Dr. T
I don’t know about all of that. As they present in my family, autistic traits are hypersensitivity and difficulty with social interactions. That is not what Joyce has, though it does appear that she does have an extreme need to have a great deal of control over the aspects of her life, in this case her food.
She has a hard time with change. She also has a difficult time dealing with learning that any belief that she holds might be incorrect. These are traits that autistic people can have, but there are stronger indicators.
The thing about her food is not that she refuses to eat things because they don’t “feel” right like an autistic person might, but rather because the food is made from many different things mixed together. That seems to be a thing that just upsets her tremendously and I imagine that is because she then cannot control everything she is eating as a result.
Ophidiophile
I am now a whole lot more worried for Joyce.
Reltzik