Velociraptor
Posted on June 28, 2018 by David M Willis

150 thoughts on “Velociraptor”

  1. Ana Chronistic

    “This isn’t the Happy Meal version!”

    1. Nomothehomo

      little did she know that it is actually worth like 40 bucks based on 1 minute of research

    2. butts

      Yeah, the Happy Meal version is based on the latest reconstructions of Deinonychus antirrhopus, complete with feathers and anatomically accurate sickle claws. It’s an absolute gem of a toy.

      1. Aeron

        McDonald’s doing a better job of teaching me history than public school did.

        1. Needfuldoer

          The stuff they put in the burger patties may be 20 years old like a textbook, but the Happy Meal toy material is current!

      2. AGV

        Sorry, I just googled it and I don’t see it having feathers??

        1. Andrusi

          It’s a joke. Ana Chronistic meant “This isn’t the Happy Meal version!” as a response to the idea of paying five bucks for Dinobot, and butts was suggesting that it was instead a response to the idea of Dinobot being an inaccurate velociraptor.

        2. butts

          jeez well i’d better delete myself from the internet then

        3. Clif

          That didn’t work out so well for

  2. Yumi

    FUCK YEAH, DINA!

    1. Durandal_1707

      She’s gonna glue some feathers on it, isn’t she.

      I approve.

      1. Felian

        …even if he’s not gonna sell it to Dina, she is gonna sneak into his room to glue the feathers on. It’s compulsory. It can’t *not* have feathers. That would be incorrect.

      2. John Merklinghaus

        Just glue some feathers on it and call it “Dinopunk.” It’s the trend fashion nowadays.

        1. C.T Phipps

          It’s a ROBOT dinosaur, Dina.

        2. David M Willis

          it’s a robot beast wars dinosaur, meaning it disguises itself as a real life fleshy animal, not a robotic one

        3. The Lurker

          Yeah, I knew Phipps comment would trigger a response, due too lack of detail

  3. Defensor

    Dina!

  4. cbwroses

    Dina just made me smile…

    1. Frost Magi

      Dina always makes me smile. She’s too precious <3

    2. Inahc

      🙂

  5. miados

    im pretty sure that will be lacking funds compared to what he said.

    1. Deanatay

      “How much?”
      …
      *pulls out phone*
      …
      “Hello, Father. I wish to purchase a present for my girlfr-”
      *ding*
      “- thank you.”
      *hangs up*
      “Would you like a check, or Amazon credit?”

      1. miados

        sorry five dollars is still lacking funds. plus he seems the type to not give it up regardless for anything shy of full college payment or something. big time fans have more value to items than the literal value often.

  6. Danni

    6 dollars!

    1. DeepThought42

      7 Dollars and 23 cents some lint in my pocket and a piping hot kettle of tea!

      1. Danni

        8 dollars!

        1. hof1991

          I bid 500 quatloos.

        2. Mollyscribbles

          $16.50 and an armadillo!

      2. King Daniel

        650 dollars.

        1. Danni

          694.20

      3. Tacos

        A quesadilla!

        1. Danni

          3 quesadilla

        2. Abel Undercity

          20 churros and that’s my final offer.

        3. Jaxx Sentinel

          Free food made by a loving abuelita for life and protection from joyce hugs for a week

        4. Yet_One_More_Idiot

          No food made by a loving abuelita for life, and unlimited hugs from Joyce forever! 😀

        5. Andrusi

          Free hugs from Joyce’s grandmother for life!

        6. No Name

          @Andrusi
          Wait, which grandmother? The one that produced Carol or the one that produced Hank?

        7. Clif

          I’m sure that Mike would say that there wasn’t a nickel’s worth of difference between them.

        8. Danni

          40 churros

    2. Lokitsu

      50 mc nuggets!

      1. Danni

        180 mcnuggets

    3. Ryek Hvek

      No Dinars !!

  7. Barduwulf

    Wasn’t there a later model that had feathers? I remember seeing Willis review one on the other site.

    1. David M Willis

      There’s no Beast Wars Dinobot toy that has feathers. If only…

      1. Shiro

        Not til Dina gets ahold of one, anyway

      2. General Tekno

        Well, Don Figueroa drew Beast Wars Grimlock with feathers in the comic mini, so that sorta counts.

        1. David M Willis

          Well, if we’re counting media appearances, then Dinobot has had feather spikes in both his Legends card game art and in the Forged to Fight cellphone game. (the latter was based on the former)

          But I wouldn’t have done a toy review on shortpacked.com about either of those.

        2. Tacos

          If only there were toys of the Raptoricons from Of Masters and Mayhem…

        3. Clif

          If only there was a kickstarter for a project to backbreed birds into dinosaurs.

      3. Lokitsu

        Wouldn’t it be hard to put feathers on a transformer? It would be cool as hell, but unless they were just engraved into the metal (plastic?) wouldn’t they get in the way while changing forms?

        1. Anon A Mouse

          Silverbolt SCOFFS at your lack of knowledge. Ha HA ha ha. Ha.

        2. David M Willis

          I dunno, tell that to all the Transformers birds.

        3. Lokitsu

          I tried to google bird transformers (I know pretty much nothing about transformers) and all I got were pages of angry birds transformers. That’s why I asked.

        4. David M Willis

          For your metallic feather needs:
          https://tfwiki.net/wiki/Divebomb_(G1)
          https://tfwiki.net/wiki/Doubledealer
          For your organic feather needs:
          https://tfwiki.net/wiki/Airazor_(BW)
          https://tfwiki.net/wiki/Archadis

          (yeah that last one turns into an Archaeopteryx)

    2. Kamino Neko

      Different character. One of the movie-verse Dinobots. Slash. (Not to be confused with the more recent character of that name, who is a non-feathered raptor – but makes up for it by being a girlbot.)

      1. Undrave

        To be fair, Legends Slash doesn’t have skin either so I’m not sure where the feathers would go :p

        1. David M Willis

          i mean not having skin doesn’t keep transformer lions from having metallic manes, so

          https://tfwiki.net/wiki/Razorclaw_(G1)

  8. Regalli

    She needs the rest of her money to properly feather him.

  9. Shiro

    …okay, now I’m curious how much it really costs, and I don’t know enough about Transformers to Ebay it

    1. Mr D

      I googled “Ebay 2009 beast wars dinobot” and got two easy hits, a takara for 109 USD and a Classics 2.0 for 90 USD.

      1. Dark

        Let’s see… Best offer I’m seeing on Ebay for that particular version of the toy would be about 50 bucks.

      2. Dark

        Although, based on coloration, it’s probably the Henkei! Henkei! Dinobot, which puts it closer to 100 bucks, minimum.

    2. vlademir1

      Some quick digging lead me to:
      The common version of this toy new in box seems to be valued about $60.
      Unpacked but complete seems to currently be about $35.
      Figure only seems to be about $15.

      Rare and hard to find of course drives the valuation up (cf Mr D’s post above)

  10. FLUFFYWOLF

    so it begins

  11. ShinyNeen

    Everybody gets to learn about Transformers (or at least Dinobot) today!

  12. tyranidswarm

    That’s right Ethan it isn’t a real dinosaur. Dina doesn’t want it because it’s a dinosaur toy. She wants it because she must destroy all inaccurate portrayals of Dinosaurs. As the prophecy foretells.

    1. Keulen

      Or she wants it so she can glue feathers onto it.

      1. Deanatay

        Which would be, in its own way, destruction of an inaccurate portrayal of a dinosaur. By making it accurate.

    2. Batman

      Or turn it into a sex toy.

  13. Tacos

    Dina’s gonna kitbash some scientifically and anatomically correct feathers on to Dinobot won’t she?

    1. Shiro

      Kitbash is a fantastic word, it just feels nice to say

      1. Adam Black

        Because it sounds so dirty.

        But so does Raptor.

        1. Wizard

          Raptor? I barely knew ‘er!

        2. Needfuldoer

          If everything sounds dirty, you might want to talk to a doctor or therapist.

        3. Abel Undercity

          That’s what SHE said!

          … hm, maybe you’re right.

    2. Kamino Neko

      I think properly feathering Dinobot would interfere with his transformation. At the very least it would make his tail/weapon gimmick more awkward.

      1. timemonkey

        It’s already basically useless. I think he used it effectively, what, once?

  14. Stephen Bierce

    For the money, Dina can go to Ollie’s and pick up LINDBERG’s Raptor model kit and build it any way she wants, feathers and all.
    (IMO the Lindberg Raptor is the best dinosaur model kit ever made.)

    1. Dean

      Either Dina already has this model, or she has sent a long email to the manufacturer carefully explaining its’ anatomical inaccuracies.

      1. No Name

        Probably both, given this strip.

  15. BBCC

    Oh, Dina, that’s not how old toys work.

    1. BenRG

      Yeah; I mean, the original retail price was probably in the $20 range!

  16. Derek

    I feel like Dina is being a bit rude, Ethan never mentioned wanting to sell his toy

    1. Adam Black

      Shes got Dinosaur Negging down.
      Shes going to neg him till he gives up the Dinobot

  17. Pablo360

    Ah, so Dina got back from Questionable Content.

    1. Mydnyt

      That’s why she only has $5. Coffee is expensive.

      1. McBogue

        I can’t see her as a coffee drinker. But I can definitely see her eating cereal with Steve.

        1. Chris Phoenix

          It depends. I’d guess there’s an above-average chance that she has neurology where coffee is a stabilizer rather than a stimulant. In that case she might drink it. Or maybe not – she seems pretty chill by default (except on a few topics).

    2. Inahc

      I still wanna know what she was up to there.

      hmmmmmm. patreon bonus strips? 🙂

      1. Inahc

        oh, it was already suggested there. guess I’m voting for once! 🙂

    3. Koms

      Dina peering up like that is the cutest.

  18. timemonkey

    I wish there had been more dinosaur Predacons on the show. They just kind of all became bugs and Rampage once they started recruiting new members.

    Don’t get me wrong, I love insects and arachnids and sea creatures but dinosaurs are just really cool.

    1. Clif

      All the dinosaur Predacons on the show all became bugs? Wow, they really were transformers

  19. @zombieundergrnd

    Does it at least transform into a car with fuzzy dice hanging from the rear view mirror?

    1. Bathymetheus

      You realise those dice are a safety hazard, right? They desensitise you to movement in or near the mirror, potentially causing you not to notice other vehicles, especially small ones (motorcycles, bicycles).

      [resume sense of humour]

  20. newllend(henryvolt)

    Oh yeah because I can see a alien robot growing feathers and wings, like what do you want from us Dina?

    1. Inahc

      er… silverbolt?

      1. Kamino Neko

        Much earlier than Silverbolt, there’s Airazor (introduced in the second year of the line). Her toy wasn’t a very accurate bird, but she still had feathers sculpted in. Her in-show model was about as accurate as the technology allowed.

    2. newllend(henryvolt)

      Ok wings maybe but feathers? Unless they’re metallic it’s not as logical as it sounds.

      1. Tacos

        All the guys from Beast Wars had organic coverings.

        1. newllend(henryvolt)

          So they grew organic feathers from metal skin?

        2. Tacos

          They never really state what their exteriors are made of whether it’s fake organic matter or real organic matter but since Beast Machines says the Oracle got biological DNA from them when they returned to Cybertron then most likely their exterior was organic and thus are sorta like Terminators.

        3. Kamino Neko

          They have complete organic shells, complete with proper integument for the mammals and birds, and the reptiles that aren’t dinosaurs or pterosaurs. See the Beast Wars entries at the TF Wiki.

  21. Nobody

    You know she’s going to glue feathers to it

    1. Chronos

      Yeah, I got that impression, too.

      1. Reltzik

        …. I’m thinking that sort of mod would lower the street value of the toy.

        1. Chronos

          It *might* be worth five bucks after she’s done with it, in any case.

        2. Clif

          More importantly, it would lower the value of the dinosaur feathers.

  22. Passchendaele

    “I am willing to pay you six dollars, but that is my final offer.”

  23. jeffepp

    No Transformers made after about 1990 can be called “old”.

    1. Mel

      That’s almost thirty years ago though

  24. Bagge

    It’s OK to enjoy not-perfectly-accurate dinosaurs, Dina.

  25. Lingo

    OK but that table is right up against the window — how did Dina wedge herself in there without being noticed? lol

    1. Lingo

      Also I love Dina’s Face of Judgment in panel 3.

    2. No Name

      The Same way she get’s behind doors, of course.

  26. BenRG

    Dina is being extra-cute here and I don’t know how she does it! Still, the point is that it’s obvious that, scientific accuracy or no, dinosaurid toys float her boat!

  27. Black Bumblebee

    Now just imagine it was the Masterpiece version of Dinobot…

  28. Ainara

    DINAAA <3

  29. Defensor

    Does anybody else remember “Code of Hero”?

  30. All-Purpose Guru

    Dina is so adorable in this one…

    I *cry* when bad things happen to Dina.

  31. Reltzik

    “No no no, you see, the point of these toys is that the dinosaur transforms into a robot.”

    “Dinosaurs could not do that. That is at least as scientifically inaccurate as the lack of feathers.”

    “Well they were less dinosaurs and more ancient aliens.”

  32. AGV

    Many of us, dinosaur nerds, have a soft spot for retro dinosaurs, and I see that Dina is no exception

  33. Furie

    Apparently my ability to get angry with Dina is triggered by insulting prices for classic bots.

  34. foducool

    “it’s a reptile with big ass teeth, I want it”

  35. Galdan

    Dina is having lewd thoughts about the naked dinosaur…

    1. Clif

      Weren’t we all?

  36. darkoneko

    five dollas ? oh you seet summer child.

  37. BenRG

    I can’t help but smile at how kind and gentle Ethan is with Dina. He’s treating her with respect and not as if she’s ‘weird’. He has taken the time to familiarise himself with her quirks and thus knows in advance what about his toy might be upsetting her sense of order and balance.

  38. JBento

    DINA! I am mollified!

    re. Alt-text: You severely overestimate the value of scientifically inaccurate saurial depictions.

  39. Miri

    I just love the idea of old toys having a street value. Like, dodgy guys lurking in the entrances of alleys, wearing beige trench coats with many internal pockets filled with a selection of old Transformers, hissing at passersby, “Psst, you look like you enjoy a good time. I can hook you up” and flashing glimpses of their merchandise ?

    1. Deanatay

      … you may have just accurately described Willis at a comic convention.

      1. Bathymetheus

        *claps*

      2. Daibhid C

        Wasn’t there an old Shortpacked strip portraying third-party sellers at Botcon as Lefty the Salesman from Sesame Street?

    2. Eldritch Gentleman

      Isn’t that basically Weird Al’s “White and Nerdy”?

  40. BrokenEye, the True False Prophet

    Also, it isn’t a dinosaur anyway. It’s a robot disguised as a dinosaur

    1. BenRG

      Additionally, a robot disguised as a dinosaur as perceived by a damaged computer system that can’t even perceive that organic creatures are ‘real life forms’.

  41. Portland

    That last panel makes me think that Dina is going to eat the dinosaur.

  42. Shival

    Does anyone look this low in the comments? Anyway.

    Dina’s entrance and comment reminds me of this youtube series.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TW7uyD0hfqg&index=2&list=PLaCDmykyjVw_B983AQ2iGuZOA3ZLJ8Sry&t=0s

    1. Eldritch Gentleman

      Nope, no one goes this low, this is how dwarves dug up Balrog. No one is taking the chance.

      1. JBento

        The commentariat posted too prolifically and too deep.

        You know what we wrote in the depths of Khazad-DumbingofAge.

        Shadow and Fl, er, YouTube videos

  43. abysswatcher1993

    Get your own Dinobot, Dina! They are no longer being made, and there was a small time they were remade just because of the Transformer movies. Also, I hope one day I can see again a Megatron T-Rex. I had two, but with different colors, and a third one that is the upgraded version of the second season. Toys disappear after years.

    1. Tacos

      Then I should mention that Masterpiece versions of Dinobot and BW Megatron are going to come out. Of course they’ll be expensive though.

  44. Bicycle Bill

    I wondered, once the subject moved on to dinosaurs, how long it would be before Dina turned up. Then I remembered she is ALWAYS present but, like LaMont Cranston, has the ability to cloud one’s mind until she chooses to reveal herself.

    1. Bathymetheus

      Now THAT’S a callback!

      “Who knows what evil lurks in the hearts of men?”

      Women, of course, were all innocent back in those halcyon days.

      1. Clif

        No one cared what evil lurked in the hearts of women because it was assumed that they would be at home anyway raising the children and ironing.

  45. Mel

    Dina, that won’t even get you one Optimus replacement fist.

  46. cjack99

    Dina is the cutest little creature, I adore her.

    1. Clif

      She stalks her prey.

  47. C.T Phipps

    The INGEN corporation introduced errors into the dinosaurs’ DNA so they lost their feathers. They are now neosaurs.

  48. Booker

    Dinobot was the first transformer I ever purchased for myself. I played with him and like many of my early transformers broke from being loved. Shortly after Christmas I purchased the original release of him off eBay and it just felt right to hold that figure again. Ethan, don’t accept any money for it. Please.

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