129

Vice
Posted on August 9, 2019 by David M Willis

129 thoughts on “Vice”

  1. Doctor_Who

    Clearly Billie should become a Maple Leaf’s cheerleader / assassin. Then she’ll be perfect!

    1. ValdVin

      You’d better construct a sentence with “Maple Leafs” and “assassin” very precisely.

      1. AlineStar

        “Maple Leafs” + “assassin” = Kerry Fraser?

        1. Walky_Talky

          Hockey + murder = Jason Vorhees

        2. ValdVin

          I know his name, but not the “assassin” part.

      2. Khyrin

        An assassin on the Maple Leafs payroll.

      3. Andy

        Auston Matthews is a sniper, so does that mean the Leafs already have an assassin?

        1. HeySo

          Wouldn’t that depend on how stealthy and precise he is? I mean, if he’s drunk, loud, and always missing, then he wouldn’t be much of an assassin. Well, aside from like, every assassin (or general bad guy) in nearly every action, action-adventure, or action-comedy movie ever. ..huh.

          Okay, so wait. Am I correct in my interpretation that we’re trying to say that the Maple Leafs are Hockey’s Stormtroopers?

        2. HeySo

          Topical:
          https://static.cycloneshockey.com/images/events/5400acf4c072d.jpg

  2. Ana Chronistic

    “If murder were a woman, I’d cheat on you with it.”

    “And I’d jeopardize our relationship to nail your hot side piece.”

    also femurs

    1. Ana Chronistic

      ARGH fucking Firefox pushed another update that clears basically everything

    2. He Who Abides

      Venture Brothers?

  3. Mel

    Damn it.

    1. Diner Kinetic

      ^this

      1. Solenoid

        ^mostly this, she’s right about the Leafs at least.

  4. Shane

    Allowed one vice? What?

    Sigh, I think Billie is going to take this to mean “I can be a little punk and sneak back to Ruth and all is forgiven even though I haven’t acknowledged the damage I’m causing or apologizing for it.”

    Ruth is EVENTUALLY gonna quit this for her own health. We gotta circle the drain first more though, possibly orbit it.

    1. Clif

      But if Billie keeps her drinking secret from Ruth, she won’t actually be damaging Ruth then, will she?

      1. Delicious Taffy

        Yes.

      2. thejeff

        Not until it’s inevitably revealed. Plus all the lies and deception involved.

        To be honest, it would be better for Billie to keep openly drinking, but not around Ruth and without talking about it to Ruth or inviting Ruth to places based on their alcohol selection. Which is all Ruth asked for when this whole fight started a couple days back.

        Better for Billie to stop of course.

        1. GoblinScribe

          She might mean it this time. This is only the second time she’s promised this seriously, and it’s possible she’s learned from last time that she sucks at keeping secrets from Ruth.

          …

          What? It’s possible!

  5. Woomy

    I don’t think you are allowed one vice, no

    I think your therapist might disagree

    1. Dana

      Depends very much on the vice.

      1. Clif

        Take murder. You’re allowed one victim.

        That is how it works, isn’t it?

        1. Kat

          Person 1: “4 isn’t a lot, right?”
          Person 2: “Depends. 4 pencils, nah. 4 murders, yeah.”

    2. Pylgrim

      I disagree. We all need one thing we can be indulgent towards ourselves. Life is harsh as it is. Just make it one thing that is not destructive.

    3. Corey

      My therapist tells me I’m over critical and harsh on myself so I’m not sure they wouldn’t say you’re not allowed to have vices.

      1. Corey

        *im pretty sure

        I need to go to bed

      2. thejeff

        But that is your vice and they’re trying to take it away. 🙂

    4. Mydnyt

      I have horrible self control and impulse control problems. My therapist told me that so long as I can try to keep it somewhat directed at harmful things that don’t cause me trouble in the long run then it’s fine. In my case it’s usually buying new games that don’t technically fit into my budget but don’t throw me into debt either

  6. BBCC

    Billie, please, I’m begging you, value your life.

    Don’t mock a Canadian’s hockey team to their face. 😛

    1. Doctor_Who

      The reason they are so polite is that they save up their rage for just such an occasion.

      1. BBCC

        Look, we let our rage out in the Canadian approved times. 😛

        Like someone insulting our teams to our faces.

        1. Needfuldoer

          I thought you guys channeled all your rage into your geese? (Seriously, those things are mean! I do not like the cobra chicken!)

        2. EvilMidnightLurker

          That’s all geese, Canada’s are not exceptional.

        3. Deanatay

          Can confirm American geese also assholes.

        4. Benjamin Geiger

          You got a problem with Canada gooses, you got a problem with me, and I suggest you let that one marinate!

        5. BenRG

          The Canada Goose is the only avian that has ever tried to pick my pocket.

        6. Yet_One_More_Idiot

          If you think geese are bad…English seagulls. They WILL attack anybody for the seaside treats they are holding.

          Seriously, nowadays there is a standing warning not to eat food outdoors near the beach in case you get suddenly attacked by a flock of seagulls. (And just to really kick you when you’re down, attempting to defend yourself from these vicious birds will also get your ass sued by the RSPB)

        7. Fuchs Sakemann

          If Letterkenny taught me anything, it’s that Canadians let out there rage through dissing each other in the most Canadian ways possible.

      2. Dean

        All Canadians have a serrated blade on their person at all times. Just like all Australians have a venomous barb.

        1. Doctor_Who

          The ones you really need to watch out for put their ice skates on their hands and come at you swinging.

          The worst don’t even bother with the first step. You ever see a horde of Crazed Canucks running towards you on their hands, bladed feet whirling through the air? They can skeletonize a moose in ten seconds.

        2. BBCC

          Those moose had it coming, I tell ya!

        3. Geneseepaws

          Li-lu. Lol-le-lo.
          Winslow doesn’t like ungulates.

        4. Delicious Taffy

          The La-Li-Lu-Le-Lo!?

        5. Fuchs Sakemann

          Ah, I see you have been reading Questionable Content as well.

        6. Roborat

          I suspect a considerable proportion of the readership also follow QC.

        7. Delicious Taffy

          I was making a Metal Gear reference. I don’t read Questionable Content except a few pages if somebody links them here and I get curious.

        8. BarerMender

          When I read that last night, I thought it said “put their ice skates on their heads.” I just couldn’t figure it out.

        9. Clif

          I can honestly say that whenever I wear ice skates, I wear them on my head.
          I live in Texas.

    2. Jason

      It’s okay, most Canadians don’t consider Toronto a Canadian team, barely consider it a Canadian city.

  7. William Leonard Reese Jr.

    . . . .I am conflicted. The shipper in me says yes. . .but it is also screaming no this will self destruct in a non-beautiful way.

    1. ShinyNeen

      Yep, it’s a heck of a return to form for these two >.>

  8. DailyBrad

    I love when they dunk on each other.

  9. Shane

    Ruth is making real personal sacrifices towards improving. Billie SAYS she’ll go to therapy or whatever. Does she know when and where it is, things someone who is serious would do?

    Maybe Ruth could lead her there in person. “STOP STIFLING ME”

    1. Norah

      Isn’t it at the health center? I think she was given a card or something. Of course she’s going to have to call and make an appointment.

      1. Needfuldoer

        She might not even have to do that, just show up and attend if it’s group therapy that has regular sessions.

    2. Rabid Rabbit

      They told Billie to go to therapy. The problem is that they were so concerned with Ruth — understandably so, since she was the suicidal one — that they underestimated how serious Billie’s problems are, and didn’t push hard enough.

  10. thejeff

    Okay Billie, but you know the price for this is going to therapy and giving up the booze. You’re stuck with that now. You’ve got to get better too.

  11. LeslieBean4shizzle

    WOO HOO!!
    …
    ….
    …..
    I mean… um… mental health is… um…
    …
    WOO HOO!!!

    1. Dana

      Yeah, why does my OTP have to be so toxic?

    2. Roborat

      Somebody is a Blur fan.

  12. Illithid

    Daww… Now tell Gramps to go get stuffed and your journey to the Light side will be… hmmm. Begun, I guess?

  13. foamy

    I will once again repeat my prediction that this comic will end before the Leafs win another Cup.

    1. 3oranges

      It seems like a safe bet, but you never know what will happen to the timeline. Like, someone makes a small change to the past, and boom! suddenly the Jacksonville Jaguars aren’t so bad.

      1. vlademir1

        Somewhere Jason Mendoza is yelling “Bortles!” and throwing a Molotov cocktail.

      2. Casi

        Well when Marty went back and changed the past 3 times, He only postponed Biff’s takeover of the world by 30 years. And only pushed the Cubs winning the world series back by a year.

        1. Khyrin

          Biff was never so bad as the reality of Trump. at least Biff only wrecked Hill Valley.

        2. Needfuldoer

          … That we saw on screen, anyway.

  14. Nono

    Yup. Billie resorting to this, just to avoid not drinking.

    1. Juanoku

      Suicide Is the cowards way out
      (I’m referring to insulting the team, not the… Other things)

  15. abysswatcher1993

    I still don’t see how this will help them. Only Willis will show if their relationship works or not. I don’t want another Integrity or Integrivact incident happening this year.

  16. Sirksome

    They do know it’s entirely possible to be together and improve each other like a healthy relationship right?

    1. BenRG

      It’s possible, yes. Whether Ruth and Billie are able to do so remains to be seen.

    2. Zee

      Probably not for these two

  17. newbie

    this is absolutely tiring

    1. Jess

      Honestly that’s my stance on it too. I’m just along for the ride at this point, I can’t keep track of everything going on here long enough to form a proper opinion. I just want them to get their lives pulled together! Is that too much to ask?!

  18. BiOnyx

    Oh, Ruth…
    Billie and murder are all you NEED!

  19. Bicycle Bill

    Everybody needs to have some vices.  Even Mark Twain recognized this over a century ago, when he told this anecdote about a woman who was near the end of her life:

    “She had run down and down and down, and had at last reached a point where medicines no longer had any helpful effect upon her.  I said I knew I could put her upon her feet in a week.  It brightened her up, it filled her with hope, and she said she would do everything I told her to do.  So I said she must stop swearing and drinking, and smoking and eating for four days, and then she would be all right again.

    And it would have happened just so, I know it; but she said she could not stop swearing, and smoking and drinking, because she had never done those things.  So there it was.  She had neglected her habits, and hadn’t any.  Now that they would have come good, there were none in stock.  She had nothing to fall back on.  She was a sinking vessel, with no freight in her to throw overboard and lighten ship.

    Why, even one or two little bad habits could have saved her, but she was just a moral pauper.  When she could have acquired them she was dissuaded by her parents, who were ignorant people though reared in the best society, and it was too late to begin now.  It seemed such a pity; but there was no help for it.  These things ought to be attended to while a person is young; otherwise, when age and disease come, there is nothing effectual to fight them with.”
    (from “Following the Equator”, 1897)

    1. Geneseepaws

      MT was brilliant.

      1. Abel Undercity

        “I haven’t a particle of confidence in a man who has no redeeming petty vices.” – from Mark Twain, a Biography

  20. Tacos

    But what about femur removal?

  21. TrueVCU

    THIS IS HEALTHY AND DESIRABLE FOR ALL INVOLVED

    1. Bagge

      This is fine…

      1. Needfuldoer

        Everything is fine, nothing is the matter!

  22. Tarkara

    Ah yes the good old “We can temporarily ignore how toxic our relationship is if we make out” manoeuvre, I know it well.

    1. Delicious Taffy

      Making out is almost always the funnest way to avoid a problem.

  23. Bagge

    Ruth and Billie are like ten vices each.

    1. Bagge

      Or how did Joyce put it again…

      http://www.dumbingofage.com/2014/comic/book-5/01-when-somebody-loved-me/booklet/

      1. drs

        A few strips later I found http://www.dumbingofage.com/2014/comic/book-5/01-when-somebody-loved-me/terrible-2/

        “Please don’t [leave me alone], ever. Not even if I get stupid and make you.”

        So Billie has some reason for being insistently clingy.

  24. BarerMender

    “Yesterday is dead and gone, and tomorrow is out of sight…” I want these two together so bad.

  25. 1 2 2 50 in Roman numerals

    “You and murder” sounds like the name of an edgy alternative romance novel

    1. Keulen

      It’d probably still be a better love story than Twilight.

    2. Marsh Maryrose

      I was thinking of Laidlaw’s Rule:

      “I’m Ruth, and I’m going to be your Resident Assistant.” And then the murders began.

    3. Abel Undercity

      Coming this fall to the CW.

  26. Keulen

    *plays Robert Palmer’s Bad Case of Loving You on the hacked muzak*

    1. Keulen

      Addicted to Love and Simply Irresistible seem like fitting songs as well.

      1. TGS

        Random fact I learned recently: Robert Palmer would occassionally perform Husker Du songs at his live shows. I am still wrapping my head and trying to make peace with that.

  27. Badgermole

    Sometimes I wonder if The Willis likes to conduct social experiments on the readership. Making an arc or character appeal to us because it/they inspires warm fuzzies and we can relate to it somehow….while our rational, ethical brains are smacked with a gajillion red flags. There’s so many of those instances in this comic, and it’s good storytelling for sure, but I wonder if it’s indicative of a larger Willisian philosophy.

    1. Clif

      I assumed it was: torture the characters -> torture the readers -> ? -> profit

  28. BenRG

    Billie has been trying to get Ruth to give up that hopeless Leafs fan activity for a while. I suspect that it’s one of Ruth’s red lines, though!

    1. Bagge

      Just knowing that Billie likes to tease her for it makes it worth keeping around.

  29. Kamino Neko

    The theme song for these two. (I already associated it with Leslie, but…yeah, it really fits these two better.)

  30. ian livs

    No, Billie, getting rid of that is her hard limit!

  31. Xenocide

    I met a Leafs fan in actual real life a couple of weeks ago, in Edinburgh. He also had no faith in them succeeding in anything.

    1. Seregiel

      … Ruth’s suicidal tendencies as explained via fandom and Spoons’ “underdog” would put a very dark light on that.

    2. Roborat

      Was that why he was hiding in Edinburgh?

  32. Rabid Rabbit

    So in panel 4, who kissed first? Panel 2, clearly it was Ruth, since she had to lean in. Panel 4, logic suggests that Billie initiated the kissing to try and shut Ruth up, but on the other hand, Ruth interrupting herself to kiss Billie because she doesn’t want to say what she’s about to say is that much more of a gut-punch.

    I think the drawing implies Billie started the second kiss, but I’m not completely convinced.

    1. Nono

      Bille’s got a hand on Ruth’s cheek, so it’s possible she pulled her in.

    2. BenRG

      It’s pretty clear to me that Billie initiated the kiss as a “Shut up, stupid” gesture.

  33. Saucistophe

    Second panel hit me riiiight in the feels. Possibly the best drawn of all time, Master Willis!

    1. Delicious Taffy

      I might just be biased, but the art does tend to seem better than usual when these two are together.

  34. Lone Duck

    I dunno maybe couples therapy would be good for them? They both seem to want to make it work.

    1. thejeff

      Probably. Maybe one of their therapists will suggest it.
      I think the individual therapy is more important at this point though. Their personal issues are more of a problem than their relationship ones.

      1. PB

        That’s the vibe I’m getting.

      2. Seregiel

        I have done couples therapy as a way to firm up the support structure before having myself or a partner go through individual therapy. If anything it’s a good way to brush up on alternative communication techniques, emotional management and coping techniques if there is going to be backfire, from say, new medications and the like.

        1. thejeff

          True and in their case I’d certainly suggest both, but they’re both in a state where the basics are so shaky I’d hesitate to delay.
          To jump back a little bit, while couples therapy might have avoided this particular clash, I wouldn’t have wanted Ruth to delay her own therapy or starting her own medication while starting couples therapy. She was in crisis. Billie isn’t quite so obviously bad, but not as far behind as it might seem.

          Both. Both is good.

        2. Seregiel

          Priority for individual but if couples was the only way to get therapy for either, I’d say some is better then none. Is Ruth still in therapy? We’ve only seen her with medication management and offer for group one right?

        3. thejeff

          I know she went went she was in hospital. I believe we’ve been told she’s still going, but I wouldn’t know where to look for a reference. Of course, it’s only been about a week and a half since she got out, so that would likely only be a couple times anyway.

          And yeah, couples would be better than none.

        4. BBCC

          http://www.dumbingofage.com/2018/comic/book-8/04-of-mike-and-men/sessions/

          I got you.

  35. oh no

    *sigh* The puppy eyes worked, didn’t they?

  36. FacelessDeviant

    It nags me that Rose isn’t even on the poll. She’s my absolute favourite so far.

    1. Seregiel

      I get you. Asma is my jam.

  37. cute carla

    WTF Ruth

    1. Clif

      Are you familiar with Billie and Ruth’s communication style?

      1. cute carla

        still…

  38. Juanoku

    Trix are for kids

  39. Juanoku

    My day has consisted is opening Google in my phone, going “ok”, closing it, opening it later, going “ok”, rince and repeat

  40. DarkoNeko

    aww

  41. eskimolos

    basking in the glow of my wretched disaster ship

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