182

Wallets
Posted on July 23, 2018 by David M Willis

182 thoughts on “Wallets”

  1. Ana Chronistic

    Joyce DOES come after Jacob lolololol

  2. Jess

    Huh. Well that’s a statement

    1. King Daniel

      This was certainly a comment.

      1. ShinyNeen

        That was definitely a reply!

        1. Nomothehomo

          that was obviously a response

        2. butts

          This is definitely a butt.

        3. saltchocolate

          I can’t rebutt this.

        4. Nomothehomo

          that was an ass response

        5. Needfuldoer

          Well yeah, but…

        6. adjudicus

          Yeah, it was full of crap

        7. TachyonCode

          Comments made in rear gear.

        8. Batman

          I have only one thing. *fart-fart* well it came out as two things….

        9. Clif

          You may hear “fart-fart” but what I hear is “I’m Batman!”

        10. pjeseb

          Is it, though? How can we be sure?

        11. Nomothehomo

          *witty response*

        12. King Daniel

          *sarcastic remark*

        13. Tacos

          *thought-provoking statement*

        14. Screwball

          *Quirky reply to look smart and funny…*

        15. Minim

          *Random interjection*

        16. David T. Shaw

          *tangential off-topic thought*

        17. Clif

          *reference to Hitler*

        18. Crusading Barista

          *unique counter-arguement*

        19. King Daniel

          *reference to another webcomic*

        20. Batman

          I’m batman.

        21. JetstreamGW

          bongoy comment, bongoy comment, dick joke.

  3. ShinyNeen

    Iiiii’d argue horny isn’t really a new state for Joyce. Transparently horny, though? Yeah Becky, grab some popcorn.

    1. butts

      General horniness pretty much a constant at their age, yeah

  4. butts

    Becky knows what her priorities are

    1. Bagge

      She and Joyce have played pretend marriage with various cute boys forever.

      Becky is done pretending, and also done using “marriage” as a metaphore.

      Time to get Joyce laid.

      1. thejeff

        She’s been done for a long time.
        Since she fired Ethan for not getting into Joyce’s pants.

        1. Bagge

          And now she’s stepping up her game! Jake ain’t getting fired.

  5. Yumi

    Living for that hovertext reference

    1. Dara

      Completely over my head. America, explain.

      1. Yumi

        It’s a reference to the show Arrested Development. The character George Sr. says to his son Michael, “Daddy horny, Michael.” There’s at least one other variation on it in the show, maybe more.

        1. Kurt Onstad

          And it’s the second Arrested Development reference in a row in the hovertext, as yesterday’s was “I’ve made a horrible mistake,” a line said at least once by nearly every major character.

        2. marianne

          And of course there was yesterday’s reference too! I think we can all tell when Willis was watching Season 5.

        3. Micki

          Willis needs a comma in there — I’ve seen the show and I still didn’t get it.

        4. das-g

          Well, unless it’s a double reference and Jacob’s last name is “Michael”.

  6. Nono

    Any second now, Jacob is gonna snap.

    SUSPENDERS PUN OOHOOHOO

    1. Doctor_Who

      Between the buffness, the good natured personality, and the preference for suspenders, I think Jacob is going to grow up, change his name to Terry, and join the Nine Nine.

      1. Schpoonman

        It all makes sense. The fallout from Joyce and Raidah’s war will cause him to move far away and change his name for his protection. His love for the law never changed, just how he puraued it.

      2. adjudicus

        Headcanon accepted

  7. Laladoria

    Concerned about Becky’s reasons for wanting to see this. I hope it isn’t because its something she wanted to see directed at her, since she has a girlfriend that would be a little uncool imo.

    Also I thought Joyce was Leslie at first.

    ALSO Becky stop with the Dorothy hate, Joyce is allowed to have more than one friend.

    1. Doomska

      I don’t know if Becky is aware of it consciously but it’s been pretty much established that she likes Dina but is still in love with Joyce.

      1. DailyBrad

        I don’t read it that way at all. She really hasn’t given any indication of still looking at Joyce romantically or sexually in ages.

        I think she just wants to see this because it’s going to be a spectacle.

        1. cbwroses

          Remember that Joyce has never allowed herself to focus on the carnal side of finding a soulmate because of her religion.
          I think Becky just wants to see a side of Joyce she never saw before, probably because it will be funny.

        2. Eyebrow

          I think it’s a combination of wanting to see Joyce horny for the first time, plus the gay equivalent of slash fic — you see two characters you like, ship them, and want to see them make out, even if they’re not wired like you are.

    2. Wraithy2773

      Becky probably just doesn’t know the context behind Joyce flirting with Jacob. Joyce is her best friend, she’s not going to assume that Joyce is actively trying to break up a relationship for her own benefit, she likely just thinks that Joyce has the hots for Jacob and doesn’t really get that yet.

      1. CJ

        I’d expect Becky to not give a damn if Jacob is in a relationship or not. Joyce being happy is more important than morals.

        1. Durandal_1707

          Also: Raidah’s an asshole, so who cares about her.

        2. Wraithy2773

          1: People who aren’t assholes. Just because the person you hurt is an asshole doesn’t make you not an asshole.

          2: It’s not just about what’s fair to Raidah, it’s about what’s fair to Jacob. There’s no signs that he’s being hurt or abused in any way with his relationship with Raidah, there’s every sign he’s completely happy with it, and he’s being treated like his agency doesn’t matter here.

          Flip the genders and Joyce is the “Nice Guy” trying to get the hot girl to stop seeing that asshole that *clearly* doesn’t deserve her, I could totally treat her way better than he could!

        3. Shiro

          But, I mean…the Nice Guy thing relies on the current boyfriend not actually being the awful jerk that the Nice Guy thinks he is. While not abusive, Raidah is also genuinely kind of an awful person. The rest of your comment isn’t wrong, just saying this isn’t really comparable to a Nice Guy situation

        4. Wraithy2773

          @Shiro: No, Raidah doesn’t seem to be particularly nice, but if we saw as little of Sarah or Mike as we do of Raidah, we’d hate them just as much, if not more. Almost all of our knowledge of Raidah is filtered through Sarah’s perspective or her interactions with main cast members.

          And there’s no sign that Raidah is anything but supportive of Jacob, and it’s his agency that is being disrespected by Joyce. That’s why I’m seeing this as a “Joyce is a Nice Guy” situation, because Joyce is assuming that she knows what Jacob wants more than Jacob does. It’s just a toxic mindset, especially since the grand crime of hers is…

          …hating Sarah, who’s abrasive as hell to everyone? Being condescending towards Dina, which just about everyone’s been when first meeting her? Being a bit arrogant and rude?

        5. CJ

          I can’t think of a scene with Raidah where she is actually supportive of Jacob. Her getting him to study by mentioning his great-achievement-brother smells of manipulation. We haven’t seen much Jacob/Raidah interaction outside of Joyce-contact, though, but I really can’t see where a redeeming quality of her has shown up. She kicks people she thinks are not in a position to kick back, we have seen lots of that.
          Becky definitely wouldn’t care at all if Raidah is good for Jacob or not. She has a Joyce-centric world view.

        6. Durandal_1707

          “No, Raidah doesn’t seem to be particularly nice, but if we saw as little of Sarah or Mike as we do of Raidah, we’d hate them just as much, if not more.”

          I *do* hate Mike just as much, if not more. Does anyone not? He, like Raidah, a blatant asshole.

          “Almost all of our knowledge of Raidah is filtered through Sarah’s perspective or her interactions with main cast members.”

          Raidah has been an unbelievable asshole in the last week of strips, in which Sarah hasn’t even appeared. Once you play the “you’re inferior because you’re not obsessed about money” card, bam, you’ve lost me.

          I’m not necessarily saying that Joyce deserves to win, but Raidah definitely deserves to lose.

        7. cbwroses

          @Wraithy2773 I’m glad I’m not the only one getting a “nice guy” vibe from Joyce.
          @Shiro I don’t think how good or bad the actual boyfriend is factors into “nice guy” behavior. They just have to think they’re a better fit than the current bf. Or even any potential bf as “nice guys” can also go after single women.

        8. ego

          1) is pretty on-point, i think

          “asshole” is a lot like “stupid”. everyone is an asshole some of the time, the difference is the amount of effort you are willing to put in to avoid it. justifying something to yourself via the argument “eh, fuck THAT guy anyhow” is exactly the kind of skill you DO NOT WANT to get good at

    3. Felgraf

      Becky strikes me as the kind of person capable of feeling vicarious enjoyment/hapiness very, very strongly.

  8. Andr3wtime

    I feel like “Joyce is Horny,” was intended to come out of Dorothy’s mouth or maybe it was supposed to be “Joyce is horny?”

    1. King Daniel

      IIRC, Becky has known that Joyce is going after Jacob for a while – going back at least to when they visited his church, after which Becky made subtle efforts to push the two of them closer together.

      1. Screwball

        Becky knows full well about Sarah aiming Joyce at Jacob, Sarah SMSed her. Don’t know if Becky knows Joyce is knowingly perusing it or still thinks she’s getting Jacob interested in Sarah tho…

  9. Mkvenner

    Wait this has happened before?

    1. Schpoonman

      I don’t think so.

    2. Nono

      Harry Styles!

      1. Clif

        Many times. And it will all happen again.

  10. TrueVCU

    I am here for the Jane Lane side eyes in panel 2

    1. ValdVin

      Dorothy gives a good one back in panel 4.

  11. Passchendaele

    If Joyce and Raidah glare meaningfully at each other for any longer, they’ll both burst into flames.

    1. jeffepp

      Or start making out. Or both.

      1. Screwball

        Either way, I got popcorn…

  12. Stephen Bierce

    *realizes I’ve run out of change for the jukebox* What’s in your wallet?

    1. m-m

      6 quarters, a peppermint candy, and a thing of eos lip balm. Take what you like.

      1. Schpoonman

        How’s the lip balm?

        1. m-m

          delightful

    2. DaveM

      I’ve got twelve dollars in 1 and 2 dollar coins in my wallet. It’s yours for the asking. Oh, and maybe consider putting Billy Joels “Only the good die young” on the jukebox, or maybe “(I’m not) Mama’s little girl” (either of the Linda George or Dusty Springfield versions will do).

    3. timemonkey

      I have money, but I should warn you, I’m only going to make it play What’s New Pussycat for the rest of the day.

      1. Stephen Bierce

        Have a jones for Jones, do you?

        1. Kamino Neko

          Too bad, she’s in orbit. >_>

    4. Kamino Neko

      American Express, of course.

  13. Reltzik

    It’s great to see that Becky’s overcome her initial dislike and become such close friends with Dorothy!

    1. Bagge

      …Well… “Friend”.

      At least they seem to have reached some sort of understanding around managing Joyce’s neuroses. Which will now be strained when they have very different ideas of HOW they should be managed.

  14. newllend(henryvolt)

    Well I’m done fighting it, let’s just let Joyce go crazy.

  15. toby

    I remember a discussion a few strips back about why Jacob was wearing suspenders. We know the answer now – it’s so Raidah can pull on ’em!

  16. Kernanator

    She wants to mash the food holes together.

    1. Dana

      It’s not for that!

  17. Defensor

    I feel cheated by not having seen the rest of Joyce & Raidah’s showdown. Sorry, Willis, but this one is a let-down.

    1. newllend(henryvolt)

      Not sure it’s over.

    2. DailyBrad

      It would have just been a bunch of passive-aggressive power plays. Guessing we just didn’t see it because it’s going to keep happening in some capacity.

      1. jmsr7

        A bunch of passive aggressive power plays that had the potential to explode in either of their’s faces and ruin their relationship with Jacob.

        It kinda reminded me of that scene in Return of the Jedi with the speeding hoverbikes going between the trees. You KNOW it’s not going to end well so hang on by your nails. So many trees!

    3. DeepThought42

      I am more disappointed at Raidah insulting Dorothy and nothing coming from did that not happen? Was there comics I missed were that was resolved?

      1. Inahc

        Nope, Jacob is still being oblivious. >.<

        1. JessWitt

          Darn it Jacob! Aren’t lawyers supposed to have keen observation skills? Has Phoenix Wright been nothing but lies about how law works?

        2. RicardtheDragoon

          Maybe he just needs a Boot to the Head (links to Youtube) to get his attention.

      2. King Daniel

        Where did Raidah insult Dorothy?

        1. cbwroses

          Apparently, being too willing to value the differences in other people and thereby, in Raidah’s opinion, not likely to go into law, is an insult.

        2. King Daniel

          Pretty sure Raidah’s ”future lawyer” remark was referring to herself, what with her pointing at herself and all.

        3. jmsr7

          Yeah, going by Raidah’s expression that was a clarification, not an insult.
          And also Dorothy was attempting to shut down the sparring contest, to which Raidah’s ‘no’ also applies. Two answers to two questions with one statement! Impressive.

        4. Knayt

          “You kids should save your wallets” would be the line. “Kids” is a pretty dismissive term in general, but it gets a whole lot more dismissive when used against someone literally one year younger than you. Then there’s the broader context – as a gesture Raidah pays for all the meals, then makes that comment. The subtext there is claiming the role of self-designated adult, which given the aforementioned one year age difference is insulting.

    4. Vulcanodon

      Even in DOA there’s such a thing as moving the story forward. We pretty much got the gist of it. Excited to see what happens next!

  18. abysswatcher1993

    There’s horny, and then there’s sociopathical horny. Did Anto Joyce took over after Joyce realized she has a chance with Jacob? No alien plot can save the characters from horny Joyce, and unlike her previous bigotry, her horniness isn’t exactly unintentional evil, but more like a gray area we can’t judge easily. This is one of those scenarios where people can only recover either by intervention, or by hitting rock bottom.

    Joyce still has a long fall before rock bottom… same goes for Dorothy’s work addiction, Billie’s self destruction, and Amber’s disassociation. Walky seems to be making progress. Mike is already in Rock Bottom and enjoys it.

    1. Needfuldoer

      Maybe it’s actually Anti-Joyce when we see her with bedroom eyes.

  19. Michael Chandra

    She paid the bill just to mess with Joyce? That’s fucked up.

    1. abysswatcher1993

      Fucked up is that Joyce thinks she can be as evil as Raidah. Becky is right. Better get the popcorn.

      1. newllend(henryvolt)

        So who’s winning? No wait actually what underhanded game are they even plying ?

        1. jmsr7

          No one is winning yet. They are both trying to break Jacob apart from the other.
          That’s why Dorothy was so nervous and tried to make peace because she wants everyone to get along; BUT those two were actively working against that goal over this lunch.

    2. Tacos

      If Joyce knew that Raidah would pay, she’d probably order the most expensive stuff to mess right back at her.

      1. Aletheia

        Nah, Joyce would probably ~conscientiously~ order the cheapest (or near-cheapest) thing on the menu to show ~she doesn’t take advantage of people~ or something along those lines. 😛

        1. cbwroses

          Joyce would order the same thing she always gets because she’s a very picky eater.

        2. Wraithy2773

          ……..while she’s taking advantage of someone, you mean?

          Joyce ain’t being conscientious, she’s being an ass here. If she did order the cheapest thing on the menu, it’d be a strategic ploy, a performative act for Jacob’s benefit, not her being a good person.

        3. Emily

          Picking the cheapest thing could easily be seen as an insult too though.

        4. wwwhhattt

          Basically anything Joyce does in that situation can be interpreted as an insult, and in some (SFnal) cultures putting someone in that situation is the most offensive thing possible

    3. Bagge

      It’s such a BILLIE move. I mean, I have compared Radiah to a high-school-Billie-level-alpha-bongo before, but I had no idea how right I had.

      I start to think that the only reason it didn’t work when Billie tried to slip her a 20 was that Raidah felt Billie tried to muscle in on her territory.
      http://www.dumbingofage.com/2012/comic/book-2/05-saturdays-all-right-for-slighting/rabid/

      1. Clif

        Or she was insulted Billie though she was so cheap.

        1. Bagge

          “A TWENTY. That’s cute.”

    4. MatthewTheLucky

      If this were a slightly less serious comic, I’d root for serial escalation that ends with them dating each other somehow.

  20. chris73

    Still antagonistic towards Dorothy for no good reason and still trying to make a nickname happen that no one else uses, good to see that Becky is still as insufferable as ever

    1. Zee

      Christ let a girl joke. Besides, like half the comment section calls her dotty. I don’t even see any animosity from her now, it’s just how she jokes around with other people

  21. DeepThought42

    I am disappointed I was expecting Dorothy to bring Radiah down a peg not with violence but with a witty remark least channel her catharsis into a full blown verbal whipping of anyone deserves to face the full blown brunt of angry Dorothy (there is a lot of people but Radiah certainly is one of those people) It feels like I missed a panel, I mean Radiah was incredibly rude to Dorothy and no one said anything?! nothing from Jacob? I mean I thought Joyce would go switch into attack mode. Dorothy didnt say anything. What the hell did that not happen did Radiah say it under her voice? I mean we didnt even get to see Dorothy take the high ground and show that she has more integrity and character then Radiah.This has been a disappointing end to this story line.

    1. chris73

      Dorothy can’t stand up to Becky when Becky is being a bongo towards her, for no good reason, so its not likely she’ll be able to stand up to Raidah, especially given that Raidah has a legit reason (Joyce hitting on her boyfriend) for being a bit pissed off at the moment

      1. DeepThought42

        Thats not Dorothy’s fault. Also given that Jacob and Joyce were both there passive aggressive battle in all Joyce should have stood up for her freind and Jacob should have said something to Radiah regardless of Raidah being his significant other.

        1. chris73

          Its not Dorothys fault however, in Raidahs eyes, shes Joyces friend so either collateral damage or testing to see how good (as a lawyer) Dorothy is

          Remember this all comes from Joyce, not Raidah, its Joyce hitting on Raidas boyfriend so its on Joyce for whatever happens

        2. DeepThought42

          Raidah doesnt have the ability to judge Dorothy’s potential as a lawyer She is a sophomore(possibly) pre law student , whose only experience is having one or two of her parents being a lawyer. Also my disappointed derives from the lack of resolution to this. The last comic about this ended with Radiah being very rude to Dorothy and then nothing happening an anti climax sometimes that can be funny or intresting in this case it was not.

        3. DeepThought42

          I do have to apologize for the grammar and syntax I am writing this on a phone and this comment section interface does not work well on mobile devices.

        4. C.T Phipps

          Dorothy is horrible at arguing. Which is another problem she’ll have to overcome to be a lawyer.

        5. Emily

          I think people are misunderstanding what was pretty clearly a statement/joke(?) Raidah was making about herself saying that as a future lawyer no she doesn’t value the human cost of her words over rhetorical oneupmanship. She was even pointing at herself when she said it. Unless there’s something else she said to Dorothy that I’m missing.

        6. chris73

          Basically a lot of the posters seem to want to put themselves on teams so a lot of posters are team Joyce so Joyce can do no and if anyone else dares challenge Joyce the boards will rise up as one to cast down the infidel!

          Ok maybe some slight exaggeration going but going back to Joyce and Roz or Joyce and Joe some just can’t seem to accept that Joyce sometimes gets what she deserves

        7. adjudicus

          Eh, I think most people here accept that right now Joyce isn’t being a paragon of virtue, there doesn’t seem to be that many defenders of her actions. Me personally, I think what Joyce is doing isn’t moral and I don’t want to see her rewarded for that, but I don’t really like Raidah too, so I’m hoping that at the end neither of them “win”.

        8. Knayt

          There absolutely is something else, and it’s the condescension oozing from “you kids should save your wallets”. Aimed at Joyce, it’s returning hostility for hostility, while making a valid potshot at an actual character trait – I’ve no issue with it there. Aimed at Dorothy, it’s returning hostility to failed attempts at deescalation, and thus just uncalled for.

        9. BBCC

          That would require Jacob to notice Raidah and Joyce were in a passive aggressive battle.

    2. cbwroses

      It never struck me as Raidah insulting Dorothy.
      Dorothy wanted to talk things out more (I’m oversimplifying here), which made Raidah think she might want to be a lawyer.
      Then Dorothy gave the reason for wanting to talk things out more was to defuse the situation and try to get along, which made Raidah think she wasn’t aiming to be a lawyer.
      Basically, Raidah assumed Dorothy wanted to be a lawyer until she displayed a desire to be a decent person. Doesn’t sound like much of an insult.
      Or am I missing something?

    3. Airyu

      Someone else pointed it out but as much as I dislike Raidah she wasn’t being rude to Dorothy. A lot of people took her Dorothy? Future Lawyer” line to be saying Dorothy was not going to make it as a lawyer, but Raidah was pointing at herself, and ended it with a period (“Dorothy? Future Lawyer.” Not “Dorothy? Future Lawyer?”). Raidah was basically saying that because she (Raidah) is going to be a lawyer she’s not going to be able to stop argueing/competing/whatever

  22. chris73

    Can’t remember who said but someone had the idea that Jacob will probably be thinking about Raidah being like his paranoids exes which now makes me wonder if his exes weren’t actually being paranoid.

    Maybe they were continually faced with other girls hitting on Jacob right in front of them and that Jacob couldn’t/wouldn’t see what was blatantly happening right in front of him and therefore his exes must be jealous, clingy and possessive

    1. King Daniel

      Huh.

    2. Emily

      It’s starting to look like Jacob is just aggravatingly oblivious. As they say if all someone’s exes are “crazy” maybe we should look at the common denominator.

      1. chris73

        Yeah theres being oblivious and then theres Jacobs preternatural levels of oblivious (though its good to see the guy actually has some flaws)

        So if Raidah was to voice her concerns ref:Joyce then Jacob would probably just say something like you’re being silly and jealous

    3. thejeff

      Yeah, that’s kind of been my theory for awhile. Jacob gets in these close flirty friendships with girls who are obviously crushing on him and is horribly confused when his girlfriend get jealous about it. He’s not doing anything, so why is she upset?

  23. stoodmuffin

    Joyce, you seem to have a heard of drama llamas in your court

  24. Keulen

    I’m still not sure if Jacob’s even aware of what’s going on between Joyce and Raidah at this point.

    1. Bagge

      He’s still thinking of how good the pizza was

      1. thejeff

        Team Jacob/Pizza!

        1. Tacos

          JacobxPizza OTP. *nods sagely*

  25. Nobody

    Joyce and Raidah are both such smug assholes right now… and honestly grabbing popcorn and watching while my friends make mistakes is generally my strategy too

  26. Orangey

    Really wish Becky would get over her Dorothy hate

    Like Becky, you have your own gf now, you don’t need to openly dislike Joyce’s other female friend

    It’s not cool, Becky, not cool

    1. Bagge

      You are right. It’s getting old.

      That said… “You see something unalphabetized” is a GREAT snipe

    2. Squirrel

      No one is ever required to like someone. She may never like Dorothy.

    3. Zee

      It reads to me like friendly teasing at this point

      1. pjeseb

        I could kinda see that, if Becky wasn’t giving Dorothy the stink-eye as she said it.

  27. BenRG

    Becky, I really think that you’re not helping here! Dorothy certainly thinks so!

    1. Bagge

      You might very well be right. But Becky is as big a romantic as Joyce, only with a slightly more… underhand edge to it. She would see nothing wrong whatsoever trying to break up a couple if it is for a good cause – i.e. Joyce getting laid.

    2. thejeff

      It is interesting that she’s so open about the actual “getting laid” part for Joyce, while still so nervous about anything that direct in her own relationship.

      1. Zee

        Tbh I get that. I make jokes sexual jokes and stuff about other people getting laid all the time, but for complicated reasons the idea of sexuality in my own relationship makes me all kinds of anxious

      2. Bagge

        “Living vicariously through her friend.”

        Not too different from Joyce trying to get Sarah together with Jacob, when I think of it.

        1. thejeff

          It’s the emphasis on actual sex (get in each other’s pants, horny) that seems odd to me.
          Pushing them together seems right and does parallel Joyce trying to get Jacob for Sarah.

  28. Ray

    If they watched Archer, the operative word would be “Sploosh!”

  29. JessWitt

    Eh you can always read up on the comic after work, Becky.

  30. Aegon01

    omg the alt text

  31. Bagge

    Panel 1 is like: https://tenor.com/view/willy-wonka-friends-lets-be-gif-5352300

  32. Needfuldoer

    Holy geez, Jacob must be at least 6’5″…

    1. Bagge

      Not that Joyce has noticed or anything…

  33. Bagge

    Ah, Joyce’s two ladies are still looking out for her, in slightly different ways and with slightly different motivations…

    I’m just said the panel layout didn’t place Dorothy and Becky on opposite sides of Joyce – they are shaping up nicely as good/bad (or at least sensible/horny) shoulder angel.

    1. King Daniel

      Lawful/Chaotic, maybe?

      1. ShinyNeen

        Hmm, or perhaps Logic/Emotion? … Or is that too similar to Sensible/Horny?

        Whichever it is, I like that read. With their powers combined, Dorothy and Becky become: A Healthy Range of Support!

      2. Zee

        Replace chaotic with horny on the alignment chart
        I’m horny neutral

        1. Schpoonman

          Feels like it sometimes, doesn’t it?

    2. Bagge

      * I’m just SAD…

    3. CJ

      Willis might mange to top this.

  34. Sigh

    So Joyce and Raidah apparently made it through lunch without anything blowing up. Jakes looks happy. They look happy. Are they all… happy?

    1. Eldritch Gentleman

      Knowing life they probably kept chucking passive aggressive remarks at each other which flew right over Jacob’s head because he is a thick-headed guy.

    2. Owlmirror

      Given that Jacob likes talking about religion, he might well have turned the brewing conflict into a discussion about which aspects of God and/or Jesus that Muslims and Christians can agree on.

      1. C.T Phipps

        I fear Jacob is a lawyer who wants to do settlements via compromise and justice.

        Which means one thing: Jacob/Dorothy.

  35. Lauralot

    So Jacob spent the whole lunch painfully unaware, then.

  36. Owlmirror

    I note Joyce’s top button remains unbuttoned, despite having ample time to re-button it.

  37. tirachokko

    this is late, but heyyyyyy new weird unpopular ship(?) proposal: JoycexRaidah (also I’ve triple checked the spelling of Raidah’s name b.c I’m paranoid – what lawyer is raising their “future lawyer” child under the name Raidah? Is it a cultural/religious name?)

    1. King Daniel

      Raidah’s from a Muslim background, so in response to that last one – probably?

    2. BBCC

      It means leader in Arabic.

      1. tirachokko

        Ahhh, thank you.

  38. jmsr7

    I’m starting to think that Jacob should wear a body camera and have a neutral third party review his social interactions because those two spent the entire lunch sniping at each other (apparently) and he didn’t notice a thing.

  39. Jezi

    I haven’t been in the comments section in a bit, so I dunno if it’s already been covered — how much of Joyce’s sudden willingness to homewreck might be rooted in Raidah’s faith? She may have gotten past being shocked or antagonistic towards other religions, but my money says at least subconsciously she’s got something going on about Raidah ‘leading this wonderful man away from Jesus’ and herself as the ‘good Godly woman’ who’ll get him back on the path.

    1. thejeff

      Maybe? I suspect most of it’s deep in “Jacob’s hot. And nice.”
      Originally sublimated into getting him for Sarah, not out in the open.

      Her attitude has been essentially the same since before she knew he was dating Raidah or that she was Muslim.

      1. Jezi

        I don’t necessarily mean just her clear attraction to Jacob, I mean specifically the undercutting his existing relationship part.

  40. Michael

    I’m Glad I just started watching Arrested Development so that I get these alt-text references.

  41. Dana

    I really like Becky’s hair in this one.

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