153

Warned ya
Posted on June 16, 2023 by David M Willis

153 thoughts on “Warned ya”

  1. Ana Chronistic

    where you growing it? in a pot?

    1. OnyxIdol

      In a cave. With a bunch of scraps.

  2. butts

    too dangerous “for you,” huh

    1. Clif

      You didn’t mishear.

  3. NGPZ

    haha sure you do Walky. but does he really own a Razor?

    1. Thag Simmons

      He might own a Razor Scooter

      1. NGPZ

        Haha i loved those as a kid

    2. Cholma

      He might have a vintage Motorola RAZR?

    3. Cass

      He has the type of safety razor where you replace the actual blade instead of the full head, but there’s not actually a blade inside, he just uses the empty head to scrape shaving cream off his face and give the illusion that’s he’s capable of growing facial hair.

      1. brionl

        I actually used to shave with a straight razor for some reason. I still use the shaving mug & soap in lieu of canned shaving cream if I need to use a double-edge razor instead of my regular ol’ ‘lectricizer.

        BTW, twin blades were a huge improvement over “safety razors” (only safe compared to a straight razor. Any more than 2 is just stupid.

      2. Autogatos

        Hahaha they actually do make those. My brother had one as a kid/pre-teen. Basically toy razors for pre-puberty boys who want to pretend to shave (or practice). They have a gap where the blades would go, with gently textured edges, so it sort of “rakes up” the shaving cream like a real razor would, but without the cutting action.

        They’re actually SUPER fun to use, and kind of like a very gentle, mildly exfoliating facial. I borrowed it all the time (even sometimes as a pre-teen girl) just to play with it.

        I could totally see Walky having one of those because he finds it fun to play with shaving cream and then just not correcting anyone who assumes it’s a real razor.

        1. Mark

          “Shave every day and you’ll always look keen!”

  4. newlland(Henryvolt)

    All according to plan for Sal.

    You know what would be even better than Asher in some ways being a semi version of Walky? Asher being a even BETTER version than Walky in some regards. Like he exercise to work off the food he eats, has a bit better people skills, and actually ties his damn shoes.

    1. Nono

      He’s also a better Nightguy.

    2. Thag Simmons

      Asher is basically what if Walky and Sal were a single person instead of two.

      1. newlland(Henryvolt)

        He’s Like Sal except he gets to have somethings she doesn’t, and he’s also like Walky but is better at somethings than him.

    3. JA

      Re the exercise food off…eh, probably not. When I was that age, I could eat an entire pizza and wake up the next morning 2lbs lighter. I miss having that metabolism level.

      1. Needfuldoer

        Same. :\

    4. Zero

      Hun. You don’t exercise so you can eat food, you eat food so you can exercise.

      1. S.R.

        This. Food is for living and functioning as a moving entity. And ideally for enjoying.

      2. newlland(Henryvolt)

        Makes sense, I for one don’t work out a lot and I don’t eat enough.

      3. Opus the Poet

        Back when I was riding my bicycle for transportation, I was eating upwards of 4500 calories a day and not maintaining weight. On a bad week I would lose maybe 3 pounds. It would eventually catch up after a couple of months of light milage, like only 20 or 30 miles a day instead of 50 or more. My highest milage day was 153 miles from Waco to a campground west of La Grange. It took several days for the skin to heal over my tailbone from that ride.

    5. S.R.

      No, he exercises, and also eats food. Food is not something to be earned via exercise, it’s something you eat to live. And if someone’s weight isn’t notably changing, or is changing a small amount in a predictable way (people generally gain a few pounds over their college-age years regardless of college- it’s the body making a few final tweaks), they’re eating a perfectly reasonable amount of food that they don’t need to be shamed about.
      (They also don’t need to be shamed if they are in fact eating more food than they need, but that’s a different conversation.)

      1. Azhrei Vep

        Nuts to that “eating to live” nonsense. I eat to enjoy, and if that happens to also keep me alive, that’s a pretty cool side effect.

        1. Clif

          This.

        2. Daibhid C

          Oh yeah? Well, I’m saying basically the same thing as both you and S.R. but even more stridently, so you’re both wrong!

          (Srsly, S.R.’s “eat to live” was a corrective to “eating is bad and needs to be atoned for” [which I don’t think is what newlland(Henryvolt) meant either but that’s a seperate conversation]; it was not intended to suggest you shouldn’t eat for enjoyment, as evidenced by the fact S.R. said exactly that slightly above.)

    6. GholaHalleck

      Walky is still wearing Danny’s shoes probably.

  5. DarkoNeko

    Prepost’rous !

  6. Nono

    Jennifer and Sal fighting over Asher when we know it’s Walky’s form that he’s warm for.

    1. Aslan

      That’s right #Ashy

    2. Archieve

      I don’t think Sal wants Asher anymore, my read is she doesn’t want him associated with anybody she knows because she hasn’t completely forgiven him for backstabbing her and doesn’t trust he has totally changed.

      1. woobie

        To be frank; he hasn’t.

      2. Daibhid C

        Wait, you’re suggesting that a Dumbing of Age character who expresses concern for another character’s wellbeing might actually be concerned for that character’s wellbeing, rather than having An Agenda?

        That is not how this comment section works!

    3. Bryy

      … holy shit, that was an immaculately worded sentence.

  7. NGPZ

    Only 12 hours left to vote for Dina in the Autistic Girlies Bracket Round 2!!!

    She’s 80 votes behind, hurry and we can turn the tide!!!

    https://www.tumblr.com/autisticgirliesbracket/719668530602278912/autistic-girlies-bracket-round-2-side-a?source=share

    1. I Know Why the Mowed Lawn Screams

      I love Dina, i really really do, and if this was a match-up between anyone else i’d go for her 100%, but in my heart of hearts i think Baru deserves the win. (Sidenote this poll owns)

      1. Thag Simmons

        Oh she’s up against Baru? I’ve been meaning to read that one

        1. Chuk

          Dooo iiiiittt

        2. Thag Simmons

          I am barely even a chapter in and I can already see why she might have won this.

    2. Proxiehunter

      I can’t vote any harder Captain, I gave her all I’ve got.

    3. True Survivor

      I tried, but I don’t have a tumblr account so it unfortunately would not let me vote. Thanks for pointing this poll out though – it is super cool.

      1. BarerMender

        Same. Don’t have an account, don’t want one.

    4. Thag Simmons

      Well, no shame in being beaten by the best.

      1. NGPZ

        No shame, but still disappointing.

        ???

        1. a/snow/mous/e

          getting to round 2 is an achievement in itself 🙂

  8. DarkoNeko

    Alos Walky you damn lucky bastard.

  9. MM

    Are you trying to push Billie and Asher back together, Sal? Because “I figured you’d get bored with him eventually” sure seems like how you push them back together?

    1. newlland(Henryvolt)

      To be fair that’s the exact same sentiment most people had when she did get bored with him the minute him and Walky started harmonizing.

    2. DarkoNeko

      I doubt she actually care that much

  10. Jay

    Walky, ask Joyce to use her beard-bending on you, hey?

    1. Koms

      Good idea!!

    2. Needfuldoer

      Even Joyce’s powers have limits.

    3. Slartibeast Button, BIA

      We need a mad scientist machine to suck out some of Joe’s beardiness and inject it into Walky. Using Joyce as the hair capacitor for the system. Dina might be able to do it (since we know she’s a spark), but she is more used to working with feathers…

    4. Devin

      That would require Joyce touching Walky’s face, it would seem, and I don’t think either of them would consider that worth it.

  11. Carms

    lol Sal does a real bad job furthering her asserted interests huh.

  12. Aslan

    Does this make Sal her Taylor Lautner?

    1. UrsulaDavina

      More like shes Willem Dafoe to Robert Patterson in The Lighthouse.

  13. Raen

    I, um, don’t really know much about Robert Pattinson’s real-life reputation. Although I do recall rather recently some very stupid people thinking he’d died, and some even stupider ones thinking he’d said gay people caused hurricanes.

    …though come to think of it, the little I know about his real-life reputation tells me most of what I need to know about his real-life reputation.

    1. Raen

      …also, is the forum clock 7-8 minutes out of sync for some reason?

      1. Thag Simmons

        yeah, has been for a while

    2. JA

      Stephanie Meyer perved on him on set for Twilight and creeped him out. He also hated doing those movies but the money was too good to pass up.

      1. UrsulaDavina

        His career did get better afterwards and he is proven himself a good actor Twilight has just terrible source material that even the best talent in the industry could make those movies good.

    3. Proxiehunter

      It’s easy to confuse Robert Patterson with Patert Robson the preacher if you didn’t pay much attention to either.

      1. Zero

        Not any more!

        1. Tan

          Which one’s the crime fiction novelist?

    4. Angel

      well, he did take a fan on a ‘date’ and complained the whole time so she got disillusioned and bored, which is a pretty badass move given the risk of extreme fans. (tho i’m sure there’s some scenarios where it’s like ‘this wont work out romantically but he’s pretty chill as a friend’ kinda thing lol which sounds like its own thing lol)

      1. shoopdawhoop

        To be precise the fan was more of a stalker

        He also once destroyed his microwave with tinfoil trying to invent a new kind of hand-held pasta snack

        Really if she wanted a Robert Pattinson she should have dated Walky.

    5. C.T. Phipps

      I mean, he’s Batman now.

  14. UrsulaDavina

    Robert Patterson in Twilight,Robert Patterson in the Lighthouse, or Robert Patterson in the Batman? Beacuse all those Robert Pattersons are dangerous in their own way.

    1. cbwroses

      What happens in the lighthouse?

      1. Taffy

        Nobody lives under it.

        1. Needfuldoer

          But the light lives in it.

          Because it’s its house.

          Hence the name.

      2. UrsulaDavina

        It’s a good movie I don’t want to spoil it but it falls under the psychological horror genre involving two lighthouse keepers one played by Robert Patterson and the other Willem Dafoe on an isolated island.

        1. Raen

          I remember “Kill Count” did an episode on it, and honestly, I wasn’t sure why? One step from doing an episode on “Poltergeist.” (Which actually might make a fun April Fool’s episode, I guess.)

      3. Thag Simmons

        Two dudes have a normal time at their job tending an isolated lighthouse.

        1. UrsulaDavina

          ? That made me laugh, thanks!

        2. Daibhid C

          If I’ve learned one thing as a consumer of UK media, it’s that all isolated lighthouses are terrifying — they either contain shapeshifting Rutans, portals to Otherworld, lighthouse keepers that could snap at any moment if their partner isn’t gonie no dae that, or Fraggles.

        3. Mark

          Or “The Echo of a Mutiny.”

        4. Thag Simmons

          Isolation’s not good for a person in general, and isolation on a tiny desolate island can by all accounts get pretty weird.

      4. UrsulaDavina

        If you’re intrested it’s an incredibly well made film with excellent visuals.

    2. HueSatLight

      Robert Pattinson as other Tenet. Nosnittap Trebor

    3. Azhrei Vep

      Nah, Robert Patterson the Union Major General in the US Civil War.

      Not to be confused with Robert Pattinson, the last Live-action Batman actor, among other roles.

  15. Cmasta1992

    Yeah Asher has been pretty boring since we ordered that guy to get whacked. What a square

    1. True Survivor

      Indeed. Even when ordering Blaine’s death he was still playing it safe – choosing the Lester of two evils as it where.

      1. Mark

        Does he really have that much clout with the organization? I thought he’d just been arm-twisted to monitor the operation and report back to whoever did order it.

        1. CMasta1992

          He might not but that doesn’t make for as fun of a joke

      2. Clif

        Hey, I’m just appreciating Lester of two evils.

  16. Masumi

    Is that a real thing? Guys growing so little beard they don’t have to shave?

    1. cbwroses

      Yes.

      1. Clif

        I can’t think of any other reason.

        That’s a lie. To make a romantic partner (actual or prospective) happy is also valid.

        1. Clif

          Okay. I misread that as growing a little beard so they don’t have to shave.

          Personally, at seventymumble, I’ve gone from really needing to shave twice a day to being able to go three or even four days without it being noticeable.

    2. Dunedon

      I had a friend that was in his 40’s before he ever had to shave. Myself, I can’t grow anything but a mustache or goatee, anything up the sides just stops growing almost instantly.

    3. Vanessa

      Guys with Native American ancestry

    4. Angel

      well depends on what you prefer, can’t always control it but i’m sure some guys don’t wanna deal with ‘five o clock shadow’. either they’re hairless or they fully grow in a beard and don’t shave to not deal with it daily.

      there was one strip where walky got one chin hair, though there are some guys that cna grow full beards at like 15

    5. Mravac Kid

      I managed to sneak by for over a week in the army before they sent me to shave. I was 21 at the time.

    6. Slartibeast Button, BIA

      Yes. I didn’t get more than a little fuzz until I was well into my 20s.

    7. Mr D

      I usually wear a beard, but when I am shaven I usually have to do it once or twice a week.
      And I don’t get “5 o’clock shadow”, it goes straight to stubble

    8. Mark

      It’s a common tease, at that age.

    9. thejeff

      Some tend to start later than others. IIRC I was about on Walky’s timeline. Didn’t need to shave until sometime in college.

    10. Chaucer59

      It varies a lot. I k ew guys who had to shave as early as age 14. When I joined the Navy at 18, I had nothing but a pale blond scurf of peach fuzz. I was shocked when the drill instructor made me shave it off. I shaved only had to shave that one time in the two months of boot camp. After that, I had very little facial hair until I was almost 30. I’ve worn a full beard ever since (34 years). My younger brother, who just turned 62, says he has to shave every morning, but he still can’t grow a beard.

    11. CMasta1992

      I’m in my 30s and I have to wait for a month before I get anything worth shaving. Sometimes the genetic lottery screws you in the facial hair department

      (The sweet spot I think is can grow a full playoff beard if wanted)

  17. Vukodlak

    I haven’t been clean shaven in two decades. I can’t get below stubble. Professional barbers can’t do it either.

    1. Angel

      well, that means you can enjoy it before it all falls out , tho even at a barber tehre’s only a certain point it can get to before it cuts skin, even before sweeny todd i’m surprised anyone trusted barbers to use those sharp razors i’d be anxious about coughing or hiccuping lol

    2. DaisyFM

      I accidentally flagged your reply! I tapped the screen in the wrong spot!

      I’m telling you this so it’s on record that it was an accident when it gets checked!

  18. BBCC

    Considering they hadn’t seen each other in five years before university, Sal really has Jennifer’s number.

    1. Thag Simmons

      She also has the semester long relationship with Ruth to base her assessments on.

    2. Angel

      well maybe she heard of her partying or she was already liked that before and didn’t rly expect her to grow. Tho after ruth i’d think mostp pl kinda expected her to de-volve or so

    3. Autogatos

      They were roommates originally, remember? Fairly contentious roommates. Probably easy to forget they lived together for a full semester and how much they got on each other’s nerves in that context because they were each paired with an even worse nightmare (from their perspectives) roomie after Jennifer’s transfer.

      1. BBCC

        Oh I know. Though a lot of that time, Jennifer was staying with Ruth and then Malaya showed up in early-mid October. Still, point taken.

  19. Sirksome

    Joe actually willed more hair on his face in thirty seconds than Walky’s ever had in his life. He should donate that stubble to a twink in need!

  20. DailyBrad

    Some needed levity.

    I am much more on the Joe side of facial hair growth, though I almost always have a beard. In part since, for me, “clean shaven” just means stubble and itchiness in an hour or two’s time.

  21. RassilonTDavros

    Any time anyone compares someone’s appearance to Robert Pattinson, I can’t help but think of this one Wizard Terf fanfic where the author keeps referring to a different character as looking like Pattinson every few chapters, apparently unable to remember which character he actually played. Personal problem.

    1. shoopdawhoop

      Was it actually called Wizard Terf or is that a euphemism for the books? Because I could see that as a title for a parody. “Genitalus Inpsectus!”

  22. HueSatLight

    That’s not sideburns?

    1. Angel

      depends on how you cut them, there might be ‘sideburns’ underneath but i just assumed that was part of the hair and ppl’s ears just showed past them as an artistic/stylistic choice. tho idk if side burns rly count as ‘facial’ hair unless they get super thick/long enough for like a ‘chinstrap’ hairstyle or whatever it’s called

      1. Mr D

        Sideburns are (imo) if they stretch below the earlobe.
        Then there are whatever wolverine has, which I think are called Muttonchops?

  23. Bryy

    I am here for this respite of comedy inbetween this parent sandwich.

    1. NGPZ

      Also don’t forget, Dina is gonna be on a weekend strip! YIPPEE!!!

  24. Bunnygurl

    Honestly she’s better off. Never forget in canon he called for the death of Amber’s father. While the dude deserved it, he’s like secret society level of bad.

    1. Angel

      i don’t expect him to do that anything soon but if that’s the def of ‘danger’ billie/jen sees, hopefully that’s one line she isn’t willing to cross.

      1. Daibhid C

        Billie/Jen’s over Asher,
        She’s just a girl who’s telling Sal that she should run,
        From the things that he has done.

        1. Daibhid C

          Dammit, I was so pleased with my song parody I somehow managed to get them the wrong way round, and my brain refused to notice because it worked that way.

        2. Opus the Poet

          Let me guess, Billie Jean?

          Billie Jean is not my lover
          She’s just a girl who claims that I am the one
          But the kid is not my son
          She says I am the one, but the kid is not my son

  25. drs

    How many early mornings has Lucy been spending with Walky?? Shavibg is a bathroom thing, if not a shower thing.

    1. HueSatLight

      Walky is a late riser, she’s probably woken him up by knocking on the door a lot.

  26. Dante

    My very intellectual assessment of tonight is, I’m glad those two broke up. Now Walky and Asher can explore each other’s bodies.

    You know, like bros do.

    1. Nevermaker

      I don’t think they’ve actually properly broken up, we’re just seeing the beginnings of cracks in the foundation which, if Jennifer keeps this crap up, are gonna cause the breakup.

      FULLY agree with you on Walker and Asher, tho: now THAT’S something I’d subscribe to Slipshine for.

    2. Taffy

      Okay but they didn’t though. Where is anyone getting this idea?

  27. Suet

    Not even Superman Robert Pattinson? Shame.

    Ah, the Babyface Blessing/Curse. Trust me, Walky, you don’t want your pristine face be sullied by those gnarly razors.

  28. Kenny

    Really Billy? All BC they are Tshirt bros? Hater.

  29. BarerMender

    I’m beginning to wonder if Jennifer is fighting against feelings for Walky.

    1. drs

      Or she’s unhappy because her bf is resembling her ‘brother’ thus killing her feelings.

      1. BarerMender

        Could happen

      2. Mr D

        I mean, taking in account the dream she had before she started getting pissy was about the day she met Walky, I’m wondering.

      3. Hoboturtle

        Basically being family didn’t stop her from trying to make out with Sal so there’s that.

    2. HueSatLight

      Perennial Walky+Jennifer ship tease.
      https://www.dumbingofage.com/nerve/
      https://www.dumbingofage.com/supererawesomer/
      https://www.dumbingofage.com/thebus/

  30. The Jighole Man

    well, i think that explains the “Dump” thing from the last comic.

    Jennifer is getting sick of Asher not having a death-wish, and is thinking of dumping him.

  31. Yeet

    oh, jennifer.
    sometimes if you ask people to change they will, in fact, change.

    1. Zaxares

      Sometimes… In my experience, it’s rare though. Usually with people what you see is what you get, and when someone “changes” it’s more that they feel comfortable/confident enough to drop the act and let the REAL them show through. (Which, I will grant, can sometimes be a good thing.)

      1. Mark

        Yup, depends on what you ask to change. Fundamentals of a personality won’t change. Habits, mannerisms, manners, protocols? changeable.

      2. Yeet

        ehhh sure, okay, but my point here is that she wanted asher to stop smoking and generally being like a bad dude or whatever
        and he did
        and now she’s mad that he’s “boring”
        classic bad relationship maneuver tbh

        1. Devin

          I still don’t think Jennifer has a clue about what she actually wants out of a relationship, and given that she’s a person who gets angry when she’s unhappy with something, I think it’d be best for everyone if she was single for a while. As I recall she seemed to enjoy the pursuit of no-strings-attached sex. Although that may also have been something she wanted because she thought she was supposed to.

  32. Chubsius

    My prediction is that Asher is going to somehow drag Jennifer to the bottom of the hierarchy. Maybe Linda remembers Asher from his crime days with Sal and hates him. Maybe Jennifer dumping the local, Walkyesque, rich and powerful kid will get disapproval from her not-mom. Somehow, some way, Jennifer will sabotage herself, and nerds like Lucy will win out. At least, I think that’s kind of the track record.

  33. Woof McGee

    No, Billie! Asher can do magical mass kidnappings!
    Also – why is Billie green?

    1. HueSatLight

      shadows are done with a tint. reddish tint if it’s a warm light / scene. Blue tint if it’s “cold” light / scene.

  34. Net-Zero Joeyce Shipper (no engine, slowly following the current)

    “I had to break up with my boyfriend immediately because I realized he’s just like Walky and I was overcome with disgust.”

    yes. YES.

    is it similar to the disgust you felt when you realized other people found Walkerton hot? the disgust you feel for your past self, and the childhood nickname David Walkerton gave you?

    How does “Jennifer” keep up her rebrand without the boyfriend she carefully selected? Is her desire for a bad boy at odds with her attempts to fit in with Radiah’s social-climbing clique? FIND OUT OVER THE COURSE OF THE NEXT SEVERAL WEEKS, ON DUMBING OF AGE.

    Get your popcorn ready.

    1. Net-Zero Joeyce Shipper (no engine, slowly following the current)

      “When we live superficially … we are always outside ourselves, never quite ‘with’ ourselves, always divided and pulled in many directions … we find ourselves doing many things that we do not really want to do, saying things we do not really mean, needing things we do not really need, exhausting ourselves for what we secretly realize to be worthless and without meaning in our lives.” -Thomas Merton

  35. Raen

    Hold it. Going by the name, there’s a very good chance this arc is going to end with someone “rolling on the couch” or something similar. I implied a bit ago it might’ve been Carol and Linda, which would’ve already been “a little weird.” But now Jennifer is telling all the world she dropped her last boyfriend because he was too much like Walky, and therefore insufficiently dangerous…?

    1. Taffy

      She didn’t say that.

  36. Devin

    I don’t think Jennifer understands the difference between the perception of danger (aka Sexy Danger) and actual danger. Asher has shed the former but by all indications still holds the latter, and Sal seems to understand that better than Jennifer.

    1. HueSatLight

      good distinction

  37. Juanoku

    Trust me you don’t want a stubble, either you always maintain your beard or it looks awful, i wish i didn’t have it

  38. Macunaima

    Yah know, I am admiring Walkie more and more. Lucy is clearly dtf and our boy too, but he’s more interested in her as a person so when they fuck is not an issue with him. It’ll happen when it happens. Nerd, slacker, whatever, Walkie likes women. I mean he LIKES women. Not for sex, though that’s cool too. He just likes women.

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