441

Warning
Posted on August 12, 2013 by David M Willis

441 thoughts on “Warning”

  1. Jen Aside

    NOT PREPARED D=

    1. Jen Aside

      Actually, I’m wondering why Dina let two strange men in their room… I know in our dorms, we would’ve had to sign them in, and like hell I would’ve done that for someone *claiming* to be my roomie’s family.

      1. Squall

        They look kinda evil, so it’s too bad Dina can’t read faces.

      2. Endest

        Why should dina not let them in? She’s Dina. Dina~!

        1. Broooooooo Nope.

          NUNUNUNUNUNUNUNUNU DINA!

        2. Broooooooo Nope.

          Batman theme? .-.

        3. Endest

          ……why are there two of you?

        4. Endest

          Yeah, that’s just confusing.

        5. Endest

          Srsly man?

      3. Doctor_Who

        Duh, the door was already opened. How else could Dina stand behind it? It’s the only place she’s comfortable.

        1. Jen Aside

          Dina, Dina, Dina… there’s a BATHROOM door, too =<

      4. halcyon1234

        I’m sure she asked for ID and a cheek swab, and ran a paternity test. Dina may be many things, but she is thorough.

        1. Shadow12000

          *insert joke about them being fossils here*

    2. Cholma

      DUN DUN DUNNNNNN!
      *cuesDramatic Gopher gif

  2. JebJeb

    Oh god. This can only get worse now.

    1. Passerby

      You misspelled better.

      1. GrrArg42

        No… he spelled it correctly.
        I am afraid… very afraid.
        Seriously though, I’m really scared. 🙁

        1. GrrArg42

          I just had a thought…
          Faz and Dina as a couple…
          Now I’m terrified.

        2. Yarrr

          Yeah isn’t this borderline dark territory for this comic?

        3. Drunken Nordmann

          And now I’m imaging how their offspring would be – creepily grinning Dinjas?

        4. Mal

          It’s really no darker than roofies at a party.

        5. Jack Finch

          Exactly.

        6. Dibullba

          You will take responsibility for the expenses on the pool of brain bleach I had to swim in….

        7. Me

          Could be, I mean, Faz LIKED Amber ’cause she was shorter tan him… and Dina look shorter than him (and Amber look taller…)

      2. PetrePan

        Yeah, I was super-happy about this.

    2. KingMabel

      Don’t lose hope. Maybe they aren’t as bad as they seem… maybe…

      1. Tunaro

        Nope. The next few comics are just gonna be pure suck fer poor Amber…

        1. Squall

          The return of Shitnado! Ruth and her baby was only the eye of the storm!

  3. Anna1090

    Am I the only one who thinks Faz is strangely adorable?

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      Yes and that is a scary thing to think.

      1. Aizat

        As long as the great Faz keeps his “character” to himself, yes, he is adorable. And I hated the little twerp.

    2. Trae Dorn

      The great Faz is pleased to hear this, and would like to show you a fifteen minute presentation (including several sozable charts) explaining why you should copulate with him.

      1. Yotomoe

        By this chart you can see that Faz’s cuteness stems from his large genitalia.

        1. Mr. Random

          His large genitalia stem from his pulsing muscles which he hides so other men do not feel emasculated. Faz does this out of the mercy of Faz’s heart. Faz is manly and kind.

    3. Marek

      Faz is always strangely adorable. Then he opens his mouth.

    4. Jack Finch

      The operative word here is STRANGELY!

    5. Gamma Ray

      I think part of his adorable-ness here is the way he’s standing next to Blaine, who towers over him, in a mimicked posture. It’s a little bit d’aww.

      At least until he says something that makes your skin crawl, then it’s back to normal for The Great Faz.

  4. CleverTrousers

    Woah.

    1. Chad from Canada

      Thanks, Keanu.

      1. Jesse

        Don’t be rude to him. He knows Kung Fu.

  5. Thor

    AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

    1. laila

      You read my mind.

    2. Squall

      AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

      1. Yotomoe

        BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBB

        1. Kernanator

          CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC

        2. Mr. Random

          DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

        3. Squall

          EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

        4. Reltzik

          FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFACE

        5. StClair

          (yay, I get the best letter of all for this situation!)

          FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

        6. Plasma Mongoose

          HNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNG!

        7. Squall

          GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

        8. Aizat

          KKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK

        9. Squall

          So apparently we don’t know the alphabet.

        10. Thor

          ΩΩΩΩΩΩΩΩΩΩΩΩΩΩΩΩΩΩΩΩΩΩΩΩ

        11. Undrave

          ÇÇÇÇÇÇÇÇÇÇÇÇÇÇÇÇÇÇÇÇÇÇÇÇÇÇÇÇ

        12. Squall

          ŁŁŁŁŁŁŁŁŁŁŁŁŁŁŁŁŁŁŁŁŁŁŁŁŁŁŁŁŁŁŁŁŁŁŁ

        13. Skruff

          22222222222222222222222222222!!!

        14. TARDIS With A Hat

          אאאאאאאאאאאאאאאאאאאאאאאאאאאאאאאאאאאאאאאאאאאאאאאאאאאאאאאאאאאאאאאאאאאאאאאאאא

        15. GoldStarz

          PG-13PG-13PG-13PG-13PG-13PG-13PG-13PG-13PG-13PG-13PG-13PG-13PG-13PG-13PG-13PG-13PG-13PG-13PG-13PG-13

        16. vsophi

          あああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああ

        17. carl320

          iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

        18. The Candyman

          Ως γήινη Θιβέτ γιλέκο δυο ξωκλήσι.

        19. Don

          “As earthly Tibet, jacket two chapel”?

        20. Squall

          ونحن لا نعرف الأبجدية

        21. The Candyman

          I don’t speak Greek.

        22. Squall

          Squall dw i. Dw i’n byw yn America.

        23. Jen Aside

          ♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣

        24. Squall

          DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

        25. saltchocolate

          Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!

        26. Aizat

          FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

        27. Squall

          GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

        28. Mr. Random

          HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

        29. Squall

          IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

        30. Squall

          CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC

    3. Somebody

      Finland!

  6. CollyWolly

    OHHH MY GOOOOD

    1. Nakari

      Faz is going to eat her.. Then he’s going to eat you!

      1. Sammy

        I highly appreciate this reference

  7. NeutroBlaster

    Finally! The Great Faz makes an appearance in Dumbing of Age!

    1. Gram91

      Wonder when we get to see Zaph and Rose.

      1. Brian Lynch

        Or Wen.

        1. Tom Speelman

          Wen will probably turn out to be Amber and Dina’s suitemate. They will leave to get it on while Amber’s Dad acts his typical butthole self.

      2. Aizat

        I wanted to see Thad Guy.

  8. Squall

    God almighty! Why?!

    1. Doctor_Who

      There is no god, there is only the Great Faz. Your misery amuses and arouses him.

      1. Aizat

        Well, there is a God. It’s just that He prefer testing his followers with strife and hardship to see if you ever stray from the path. But be patient, Squall, there is always a silver lining at the end of each dark cloud.

        1. Squall

          http://youtu.be/8xkZdmg6qt4

        2. The Candyman

          Αlso, he wants you to bring back Enterprise.

  9. Sir Robin

    Oh MY GOD!!!

  10. Mkvenner

    I know how to handle this, quick the petro and matches!

    1. Yotomoe

      It won’t work…Faz is deathless.

      1. Gram91

        He was capable of surviving Mike in the other Walkyverse.

        1. Mkvenner

          barely.

        2. Tunaro

          Could still get Amber’s dad, though. His funeral proved that asshole could die, at least.

        3. hmrc4evr

          You will believe an asshole can die!

        4. Squall

          Did he die from excessive friction?

        5. Kaci

          he’s the same Faz, no matter what universe it is. He just pretends otherwise to not blow our minds.

  11. Wonder Wig

    I knew the day would come. *Tries to find my cyanide capsule*

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      This is why you should invest in a cyanide tooth.

      1. Wonder Wig

        But then I couldn’t eat rock candy.

        1. Squall

          This is why you should invest in rock candy and rock candy cyanide.

      2. Squall

        This is why you should invest in a shotgun. If you have protection, then the Faz will not happen to you.

        1. Leorale

          If Blaine had used protection, Faz wouldn’t happen to the Dumbiverse! Hey-oh

        2. Doctor_Who

          He said Step-Brother, not Half-Brother, so presumably Blaine is not Faz’s biological father in this reality.

        3. Dave

          1. Or neither Blaine nor Faz are aware they’re related, it could be that Blaine hooked up back with Faz’s mother and only assumed that wasn’t his kid…
          Or 2. and this is the more probable scenario, no one has ever told Faz he’s actually related to Amber and will still try to get in her pants…which is the creepier option
          …
          It’s number 2 isn’t it? DAMN IT WILLIS!

        4. Squall

          http://squallloir.tumblr.com/post/58041688107

        5. ArkhamTexan

          I’m thinking #2. I think Willis said somewhere in the comments that genetics wouldn’t really be changed in this universe or something like that? So I would think Faz has half of Blaine’s genes or else I’d think he’d look very different from his Shortpacked! self.

      3. Bronze Knight

        Cyanide teeth have too many possible points of failure. Flashbangs implanted behind your eyes are far more fool proof.

      4. timemonkey

        Optical flashbangs are harder to disarm.

  12. Nono

    I think Faz, Danny and Howard need to get together and make a band so repulsing anyone who goes to one of their concerts can never have sex again.

    1. The Candyman

      Throw in Mary and you’ve got something.

    2. Plasma Mongoose

      and they named their band “BIRTH CONTROL”.

      1. Pyr05

        Nah, they named it “The Great Faz & Those Who Wish To Be Faz”

        1. ArkhamTexan

          “Why would they come to our concert just to boo us?”

    3. vsophi

      “I think Faz, Danny and Howard need to get together”

      Before I finished the rest of that sentence, a single tear fell.

    4. Tunaro

      But what if it gets on Youtube, and goes viral, and causes humanity to go extinct from lack of sex?! IT WILL BE THE END OF ALL LIFE AS WE KNOW IT!!!

      1. Archtus

        ~~It’s the end of the world as we know it!
        And I feel fine~~

        1. Squall

          No you don’t.

        2. drs

          You feel Faz.
          Inside you.

        3. Squall

          Pulsing

  13. Megatron

    Stand still Blaine. I don’t want to chance wrecking the walls with my fusion cannon.

    1. Darth

      Fuck the fusion cannon! Get Lugnut up in this bongo! We need to P.O.K.E. Blaine!

      1. Aizat

        P.O.K.E’em? Just use Gideon’s Glue and be done with it.

        1. Ancestral Hamster

          I say we dust off and nuke the site from orbit. Only way to be sure.

        2. AsimovSideburns

          We should give P.E.A.C.E. a chance.

          The Polite Enjoinder Against Criminal Enterprise comes with a startlingly large variety of ammunition types, and has sufficient range that you won’t have to worry about getting any of his slime on you when he explodes.

  14. SmileyOgre

    NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NNOOOOOOO D8 I’M NOT EMOTIONALLY PREPARED FOR THIS SADNESS!!!

  15. Sir Robin

    My body wasn’t ready for this

  16. Mkvenner

    Why? Willis, why?

    1. RobHagen

      Three words.

      Damn You Willis!

  17. Baroncognito

    I don’t see Sydney Yus anywhere.

    1. Yotomoe

      I really hope she shows up now.

      1. JebJeb

        She’s Blaine’s new mistress… Or a janitor. One of the two.

        1. Yotomoe

          I bet She’d just complain to the kids what a horrible congresswoman Robin is.

        2. hmrc4evr

          Even worse Ruth’s ex

        3. Rachel

          Uh… A janitor ?? That’s among your first guesses?

    2. Plasma Mongoose

      For extra shock value, Sydney Yus turns out to be Sierra’s sister.

      1. The Candyman

        What, because she’s black? Racist.

        I mean, it’s an assumption Hollywood makes all the damn time, but still.

        1. The Candyman

          Also, Lucy is totally going to be Sierra’s sister here.

        2. Yotomoe

          Because she’s black? Racist.

        3. Squall

          Actually, you’re both wrong. Jason is the surprise secret lesbian sister of Sierra!

        4. vsophi

          Whitewashing Sierra’s family? Racist.

        5. Squall

          Calling Jason White? YOU RACIST!!!

        6. Squall

          So I realize that I mixed up two characters. For this I apologize. Though in my defense, Jacob and Jason are sorta the same person.

        7. Plasma Mongoose

          People sure do like waving that racist word around like a big floppy dick. 😀

        8. Tenn

          Big dick? Because they’re black? Racist. 😛

        9. Plasma Mongoose

          That’s an unfair stereotype, not all black people have big dicks, some of them are women. 😀

        10. Boom

          Futa~.

        11. Squall

          You racist! Non-white women can not have dicks too!

    3. timemonkey

      She’s Robin’s secret girlfriend.

  18. Tanarin

    God help us all…

  19. Luzahn

    NOOOOOOOO!

    Faz why!

  20. The Candyman

    Damn you, Willis. DAMN YOU TO HELL!!

    1. saltchocolate

      +1

  21. Oceanus92

    Oh, crud! Quick! Someone call for Amazi-Girl!

  22. Lightning Spiral

    Oh God, I want to be amused by how much I hate Faz. But I don’t think this storyline is going to have room for amusement.

    1. Lavaticmay

      I feel Faz is going to be the Joshua for this scenario, meaning Willis will put his in for humorous effect as he did in Joyce’s angry family bout.

  23. jaredstar

    so provided blaine is anything like his walkyverse counterpart who gets the prize for jackass parent(s) him or joyces

    1. Yotomoe

      Well Blaine cheated on Amber’s mom and had ties to the korean mafia.
      Joyce’s parents control her morals with the threat of jesus.

      1. JustDucky

        He was also physically abusive to Amber, right?

        I’m actually wondering if Danny is going to redeem himself (at least somewhat) in this little story arc.

        1. Yotomoe

          I wouldn’t hold my breath, but we can hope.

        2. Ancestral Hamster

          Danny? Redeem himself? *ROTLMAO*

        3. Squall

          He’s only worth a nickel, and most machines just spit him back out.

        4. drs

          Mike had your mom for a Danny?

        5. The Candyman

          It was a ripoff.

        6. Squall

          It was like a crane game. You never win, so why waste nickels?

  24. piemanpie24

    Oh goodie, first Howard and now Faz.

    1. Yotomoe

      And together…They shall rule the world!

  25. Doctor_Who

    Oh God. This is what Willis warned us about. The family we will like less than Danny’s/Joyce’s/Ethan’s.

    It’s…it’s worse than I ever imagined. God help us all.

    1. JustDucky

      Beat me to it. That’s exactly what I was wondering.

    2. saltchocolate

      Willis’s warning was not sufficient.

  26. JustDucky

    Wait, does this mean that Amber’s dad might be the “by far worst” parent that Willis mentioned? 0.0

  27. Luzahn

    Now I forget, has Dad in this universe been established as having any…relevant personality?

    1. wynne

      I don’t think so, but if Faz is any indication he’s still hanging around with the Korean Mafia…. which means he’s probably just as bad as in Shortpacked.

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        and then in tomorrow’s comic, Blaine shows off his “Father of the Year” trophy.

        1. Luzahn

          I’m not worried. Lookit him. Look at that evil, evil face.

        2. vsophi

          Isn’t that more cause for concern?

  28. Zach

    Does her dad look smug?

    1. Yotomoe

      He’s about to start his ceremonial “Villain speech”. He’s been preparing for it all year.

      1. Aizat

        “You had evaded me for a long time, Amber. Now that I have where I want you, JOIN ME AND TOGETHER WE SHALL RULE THE GALAXY!”

        1. Squall

          All that’s missing is the patent looks of ‘Dull Surprise!’ On the faces of everyone in the room.

    2. Ocbrad1

      In SP, he seemed just mean. Here he seems conniving. Maybe Faz has rubbed off on him (or did I just invoke Rule 34).

  29. Jesse

    Step-brother? Shouldn’t that be half-brother?

    1. JustDucky

      Not in this universe, apparently.

    2. Pyr05

      Step brother would imply the child is not Blaine’s, but he gained a… we’ll call him “son” by remarrying.

  30. wynne

    Oh no. No no no no no no no no no no no no. Nononononononono. NO.

    And I’m not even talking about Faz.

  31. jrgolden42

    DinaXFaz is my OTP

    1. Yotomoe

      I’ll probably draw it then.

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        DOOOOOOO EEEEEEET!

        1. Doctor_Who

          Don’t encourage him. I really don’t need to see any erotic pictures of Faz.

          Hell, Faz probably brought his own, and is planning on showing them in subsequent strips.

        2. Yotomoe

          I already made one with Faz and Malaya. She had a butt.

        3. Portmaneau

          Gasp.

        4. Squall

          Dat gravvy~~ Chase ftw!

      2. Yotomoe

        http://sadpanda.us/images/1788561-NAOYNA9.png

        1. Aizat

          Even when Dina is a dinosaur, she’s adorable.

        2. Squall

          You managed to make Faz totally babies. Good job!

        3. timemonkey

          Needs more butts

        4. xKiv

          … Dinofazus?

  32. Sir Robin

    Wait … Faz and Howard are at the same place!!!

  33. OkamiKing

    THIS MADE MY WEEK! LETS FAZ IT UP!

  34. Mr Soviet

    Oh god, Faz caught me completely off guard. I Like where this is going!

  35. The Candyman

    Faz still has the hots for Amber in this universe. Calling it now.

    1. Tunaro

      Ew

  36. AgentKeen

    I literally had the longest comical gasp of surprise, but for real, when I saw that last panel.

    Damn.

  37. Bloody_Jerk

    What the… Oh what the…. Damn you, Willis!

  38. diremoi

    See I knew Mr. and Mrs. Brown weren’t going to win the “worst parents” award, but I thought that would go to the Walkertons.

    And then Amber’s dad. :C

    1. wynne

      As far as we know, the Walkertons, the Warners, and Amber’s mom are the only normal, functional, loving parents in this entire damn universe.

      Though I guess Dina’s are too.

      1. Nono

        Keeners as well, I’m assuming?

        1. David Willis

          they’re secretly vampires

        2. AsimovSideburns

          They feed by slowly leeching away your faith.

          If you let them take too much, you turn into a godless heathen atheist vampire, too.

        3. Makkabee

          Cool! I’ll miss garlic, but I’ve always wanted to be able to rock a cape like vampires do.

          Also if I’ve learned anything from Hammer Films, it’s that vampires are lesbians. I’ve always wanted to be a lesbian.

        4. wynne

          Augh of course! The Keeners seem like the best of the bunch! My apologies, Dorothy. Even if they are vampires.

      2. Shade

        You’re forgetting Joe’s dad, who if his son is any indication is a pretty nice and stable guy. Who just really likes the ladies.

        1. Blue

          I’d be willing to give Joe’s dad the benefit of the doubt if it weren’t for that creepy scene with Sarah.

      3. Regalli

        I’m reserving judgment on the Walkertons. Don’t forget they’ve clearly got issues with Sal.

      4. Nezumi

        Given the fact that autism seems to be at least partly hereditary, Dina’s probable autism (She shows a massive number of the signs of it), and what we saw of her parents and their similar behavior, there’s a decent chance they’re all autistic. Which can still potentially count as “normal”, depending, but…

  39. Jonrock411

    We should have seen this coming, it was right under our noses. We just didn’t see it. Much like Dina.

  40. dethtoll

    In the immortal words of Ingwit_Agenbite:

    oh fucking no

    1. Baroncognito

      I prefer “Oh, John Ringo, NO!”

      1. dethtoll

        I had to look that up. I think I like mine better because as a reaction to few creepy, badly written books (though holy SHIT creepy!) it’s less full of abject terror than the reaction to the creation of SWAP.AVI.

  41. Bemmie

    First the emotional car wreck that was Joyce’s family… calm us all down with some gentle Billie/Ruth time…

    …then OMGWTF THIS?!?

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      Enjoying your emotional roller-coaster ride? 😀

      1. Bemmie

        YES! no… Yes… umm NO!?! ummm WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

  42. EdoKara

    sweet jesus, run for your lives! THE COMING OF FAZ IS UPON IS!

    1. Leorale

      Really setting yourself up for some innuendo, there.

      1. Phillip Wilde

        Now that’s what I call a sticky situation.

      2. AgentKeen

        Faz would like to share with you this short animation depicting the hallowed event. Faz assures you that everything is indeed to actual scale and has not been altered.

        1. Zuche

          It’s been awhile since I laughed until I couldn’t breathe. Thank you for that.

  43. Alfougin

    Amber’s face in the third panel is the one of someone who has just learned their day has gone profoundly wrong.

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      If she had a drink, it would have been a spittake.

  44. Sporky

    SHIT

  45. Vivvav

    OH HELL.

  46. Plasma Mongoose

    I bet that THIS Faz has many and varied graphs and pie-charts ready to show on his iPad.

    1. Yotomoe

      Hell, he probably MADE the chart App. Faz in this universe is a budding millionaire for the most interactive chart app in the world.

  47. Lone Wolf

    VERY SHIT! D=

  48. Raen

    …oh fuck.

    I suddenly believe the Browns might be a distant second.

  49. Doctor_Who

    Oh, hey, I found the perfect shirt for Dina at the mall the other day.

    So next time she gets swept along there with the crowd, she’ll have something to look for. 😀

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      +1 LIKED!

  50. Tarkada

    Amber’s dad doesn’t seem like as bad a fellow. Marriages break-down all the time and you can’t blame someone for remarrying. He appears to be a better father just because he is at least there and with his son ,who must be younger than Amber to not be in college or work of his own, but then again his son doesn’t seem to be so young that he didn’t cheat on his wife…so hes prolly still dixkish

    1. wynne

      Given Willis’ comment and that look on his face… I’m going to say he’s just as bad.

    2. Leorale

      In the other ‘verse, he was emotionally and physically abusive. That’s why all the wailing and gnashing of teeth.

    3. Raen

      Joyce’s father didn’t seem that bad at first, either.

    4. vsophi

      Clearly you didn’t read Shortpacked!.

      1. Rachel

        Whiiiich please recall Willis saying is totally unnecessary to enjoy this story.

        1. David Willis

          Yeah, leave folks alone for not reading a billion other comics!

    5. timemonkey

      Faz has been called step-brother, not half-brother. So no cheating required, no genetic relation.

  51. Kernanator

    OOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT.

    We just got a swerve.

    1. Aizat

      Is it the Vince Russo Swerve or what?

      1. Ragnal

        No, a Vince Russo swerve requires it to be a swerve everyone saw coming, but they take it in another direction where, really, there was no point in attempting the swerve to begin with.

        This is a swerve nobody expected, nobody saw coming. So good on Willis for pulling this off.

  52. Philippe G.

    GASP!
    (Is it me or does Blaine make an entrance like a silver age comic book villain?)

    1. Kernanator

      I’m thinking like that time Darkseid broke into Scott Free’s house, and was just chilling in a chair.

      1. Kernanator

        Here it is: http://comicsalliance.com/superman-sex-tape/

        1. Squall

          That’s hilarious!

    2. Doctor_Who

      Quick offer him a Hostess Fruit Pie!

      1. Aizat

        Or a Justice Fruit Pie.

  53. Potato-The-Faaace

    I new Faz would end up here eventually! Oh and Amber’s wanted-by-the-mafia Dad.

  54. Eagle Has Landed

    Yay, Faz! 😀

  55. SUGauthor

    Nothing could have prepared me for this moment.

  56. Ragnal

    No. No no. No no no no nonononononononononononOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! *Jumps out window*

    …I’ll be back when the awkward goes awaaaaaaay…if I survive this fa*CRNCH*

  57. JebJeb

    Also notice his left eye. It looks like that twitch that people get when they see something they don’t like much.

  58. Raibean

    Oh gods how did faz get here

  59. CapedLuigisYoshi

    Oh jeez I mean I was expecting to see Faz at some point but this isn’t how I wanted it

    1. Yotomoe

      How did you want it? Rectally?

      1. Drunken Nordmann

        He’ll make you feel all warm and fazzy inside. 😮

  60. Psycho

    Amber! SMASH THE LAPTOP OVER HIS HEAD AND RUN! DO IT NOW!

  61. Aizat

    In the words of Jim Ross: “OH, SON OF A bongo!”

    1. Pyr05

      To follow with more immortal words “Not like this! No, not like this!”

      Also, “Stone Cold! Stone Cold! Stone Cold!”

      1. Aizat

        Though, it could be amusing seeing Stone Cold walk in and beat everyone up.

        1. Doctor Lantern

          Does that mean someone is going to open up a can of whoopass?

        2. ArkhamTexan

          “I, the Great Faz, shall–hey, does anyone else hear glass breaking…?”

  62. Aroooo

    Spidey sense is tingling! Amazi-Girl is going to make a surprise appearance and show Faz what an obtuse triangle looks like…on his leg.

  63. rachel

    OMFG AAAHHHHHH DID NOT SEE THIS COMING

    1. rachel

      aaahahaha wait you guys though wait, amber’s mom is totally getting it on, “sorry honey I’m here at IU but uhhhh won’t be around til later okaybye!”

      1. Kiggy

        That was my first thought. She and Dr. Rosenthal must be doing the 2 back beast as of now.

        1. GrrArg42

          I just caught this and looked through the comments to see if anyone else did… Point to Rachel.

  64. John

    So… odds that the other Saruyamas are just standing quietly just out of frame not making eye contact with anyone?

    1. Yotomoe

      They’re obviously behind the door.

      1. Rheinman

        This!

        1. Squall

          That!

  65. Shark

    Oh snap.

  66. Yotomoe

    I’m gonna be honest. I’m glad to see faz. He always puts a smile on my face.

    1. David

      You cruel, evil person.

  67. Gottawonder

    Oh shit. I hope the Saruyamas are behind the door. Amber is going to need them. And Sarah’s baseball bat.

  68. BayoWolf

    Oh boy. Ok, What comment record do you think these two will set compared to the Browns?

  69. Romanticide

    Run Amber! Run!!! D: D: Even Dinah knows this ain’t good D:

  70. Aizat

    I’m going to give Blaine the benefit of a doubt here. New continuity could mean a new characterization.

    1. Keroshino

      This! I would like it if Blaine was actually a decent father to Amber and not the “piece of shit” that he was in Shortpacked..

      I mean at least he shows up to visit Amber!

      Also I love that this comic solves the longest mystery…
      That Faz exists in the DoA universe…Yaaay!

      1. Yotomoe

        He’s apparently still kinda a piece of shit…just less of one.

      2. Ancestral Hamster

        Blaine might be visiting Amber for his own selfish reasons, and not out of any benign motives. So he could still be the “piece of shit” that he was in Shortpacked.

        To save time, let’s assume he’s just as bad as in DoA and feed him feet first into a wood chipper.

        1. Regalli

          Don’t forget how he visited in Shortpacked!, as well.

          He may not have been trying to take her back with him the second time, but still… Death is FAR too good for that asshat.

  71. nothri

    I would say “Oh SNAP”, but I fear there are not enough Oh nor Snaps to properly convey the magnitude warrant by the snapping of this particular Oh.

    1. nothri

      Also, taking all bets. Will Faz, established to already know who his sister is, still have a creepy obsession with sleeping with her?

      1. The Candyman

        Yes.

  72. Pyr05

    He has that look in his eye that tells just hints to me that he has to tell the neighbours of his criminal convictions when he moves.

  73. Leorale

    I’m surprised at all the surprise. I called that some other family would be the hugest jerks, specifically because I thought that Blaine would be too unsurprising for the long-time readers. Bad guess, me!

  74. Brian Lynch

    When I mentioned Joyce’s travails on Tumblr, Willis said that the worst wasn’t even here yet. “How could it get worse?” I thought. OH GOD, I SHOULD HAVE REALIZED.

  75. Todd

    I was actually hoping we could avoid Faz in this universe.

  76. Lord Fuhrer President Penguin

    oh hai Faz

    1. timemonkey

      How is your sex life?

  77. Ridureyu

    By the end of this scene, we are going to look wistfully at Joyce’s parents, and think about how sweet and kind they seem by comparison.

  78. Aizat

    I think Blaine’s eyes are twitching because he heard his ex-wife is here.

    1. Yotomoe

      It’s twitching because he’s never been in a room with Faz for this long.

      1. The Candyman

        He’s been standing there for hours. Waiting. Waiting for the perfect moment to jump out like a Bond villain.

        “Amber, I’ve been expecting you.”

        1. Yotomoe

          He accidentally left his Swivel chair at home.

        2. Squall

          I wonder what they were talking about to fill the time

        3. Squall

          http://squallloir.tumblr.com/post/58063935036/dont-mind-me-just-practicing-my-face

        4. Aizat

          So, where’s the white cat?

        5. The Candyman

          Faz is the white cat.

  79. Ridureyu

    Okay, REAL LIFE FAMILY VISTING COLLEGE STORY TIME.

    So I went to college. On my very first regular weekend after orientation, my parents came to visit and say hi! So, they arrived, and I didn’t really know very many people well, so I just introduced my parents to everybody whose name I knew.

    Me: “Hi Mom, this is Paul.”

    Mom: “Hi, Paul!”

    Me: “Hi Mom, this is Jason.”

    Mom: “Hi, Jason!”

    Me: “Hi Mom, this is Becky.”

    Mom: “OH!!!!!!!!! JOHN KNOWS A FEEEEEEMALE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

    At the top of her lungs.

    In the lounge of the largest dorm.

    On a Saturday evening.

    By the time I graduated, I was hearing the story from faculty and students who weren’t even enrolled at the time.

    1. Ridureyu

      I miss my Mom so much…

      1. Aizat

        Oh, my condolences.

      2. Pyr05

        You made me laugh, and now you made me sad.

        1. Ridureyu

          That’s what I did to myself in that order!

          “Man, this was such a funny memor…oh…”

        2. someguywithakatana

          Your mom sounds like a really nice version of Joyce’s mom. I mean that in the best possible way.

  80. Z3tto

    Hmm. I could swear that Willis said somewhere that Faz doesn’t exist in this universe, but I’m probably remembering that wrong.

    And I’m indifferent towards Faz, but I really hope he doesn’t go the “We’re not related by blood, so it’s okay for us to bang!” route. I know Willis has more class than that, but I just really dislike that trope.

    1. Z3tto

      …just realized that I thought for some reason that Faz said he was adopted. Nevermind that last part then.

      1. The Candyman

        Willis may have more class than that, but Faz doesn’t.

        1. Yotomoe

          Faz is like School on Sunday.

  81. Archivist

    Aaaaaaaaaaaaah D:

  82. vsophi

    OHMYGODIT’SFAZ

  83. Potatamoto

    By the Sword of Crom and the power of Cheese, no!

    …I’m getting popcorn.

  84. PatBaer

    Oh no, Faz.

  85. Chronos

    AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

    … I’m mildly surprised. Hi Faz.

  86. Aizat

    And to quote Mike Tenay: “OH SHIT, IT’S FAZ!”

    1. Kernanator

      Never mind that shit, here comes Faz!

  87. MM

    DAMN YOU, WILLIS!

    Yes, I know it’s been said. It bore repeating.

    1. Aizat

      Try saying it in another language. Like in Japanese, for example. ONORE WILLIS!

      1. Yotomoe

        Damn you, Willisuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu

        1. Andiemus

          Wirrisuuuuuu

      2. Drunken Nordmann

        SEI VERDAMMT, WILLIS!

        1. Drunken Nordmann

          Like that?

  88. Skemono

    Well, this crushes my dreams that Faz would be a university dean in this universe… but at least he’s shown up!

  89. ArchonMalys

    Just when i was about to settle on the worst parents A NEW CHALLENGER ARISES

  90. Justnobody

    WWWWWWWWWWWWIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIILLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLIIIIIIIIIIIISSSSSSSS

  91. Clodia

    Oh my god. This was unexpected.

  92. Jetstream

    The question: Is Faz still in to Amber despite knowing his status as her brother?

    1. Aizat

      I hope not. Incest is never a good thing no matter how many dou…er..I mean reading materials that I’ve read.

    2. Hoboturtle

      Considering his reaction when he found out in Shortpacked, I think not.

    3. timemonkey

      Step-brother, it’s not incest.

  93. Everyl

    I like the way Blaine and Faz are so suspicious that even Dina caught on that Amber would need a warning before encountering them.

    1. Andiemus

      I think she just saw ambers reaction.

  94. Dierna

    STEP brother not half brother?! Hopefully Blaine adopted him. It’s illegal for adopted siblings to be together….

  95. Ben

    Just saying, Faz and Joyce need to meet… It would be awesome. I’d eat popcorn.

    1. Yotomoe

      Let faz teach you about the penis.

  96. K. Ivan Ruppert

    Oh gods. Faz is a smarmy teenager. That is so perfect. I want him and Howard to become friends so that Faz can try to teach Howard to be as “Great” as he is, and then they have great adventures in never ever getting someone with female parts to ever touch them

    1. Yotomoe

      If no one makes this spinoff I’m gonna be mad.

      1. Tomas

        “Faz and Howard in the morrr-ning!”

        1. vsophi

          Some references should not be made.

    2. andmangrewproud

      Shut up and take my page views!

    3. Notebooked

      “One babe-slayer is more than sufficient. A team-up of two babe-slayers will demolish all competition. Faz has constructed this graph, projecting how many feminine nymphs will embrace us the following nights.”
      “Heck yeah! I just have to soundproof my room so my mom doesn’t hear!”
      “Faz is having second thoughts.”

  97. Kiggy

    Ok I never read Shortpacked, so I’m correctly assuming that Blaine and Faz are Satan and the Anti-Christ?

    1. wynne

      Faz is…. Faz. He’s a creep, and has the potential to be dangerous, but is otherwise an annoying, smarmy idiot.

      Blaine on the other hand, is evil. He is a criminal who abused Amber and her mother while putting them in danger from the Korean mafia. He is so evil that Mike wore a party hat and a Hawaiian shirt to his funeral (while flipping off his corpse).

      1. Andiemus

        That’s pretty business as usual for mike.

        1. ender1200

          You might think this, but context makes all the difference.
          http://www.shortpacked.com/2012/comic/book-14/01-deady-dearest/lastrespects/

        2. Featherstone

          Heh Mike makes everything better…

          Wish sooo much that things go better in this ‘verse.

        3. Regalli

          And this as well.

          http://www.shortpacked.com/2012/comic/book-14/01-deady-dearest/great/

      2. Jack Finch

        In Shortpacked! Faz is creepy but mostly ineffectual (so far). It’s a function of his colossal laziness.

        1. K. Ivan Ruppert

          Not really so much laziness as total lack of self-awareness.

        2. timemonkey

          It’s hard to think clearly when all your blood is constantly in your penis.

  98. Twirls

    I kinda like how (probably coincidentally) Amber’s reaction seems to be shielding Dina from their evil.

  99. Comrade

    MY BODY IS NOT READY

  100. Aeron

    David Willis: Responding to rumors in one universe with confirmation in another.

  101. Bronze Knight

    The best part of this is that while Amber is madly searching for the door nob shes going to end up with a handfull of Dina’s boobs.

  102. AsimovSideburns

    I saw them and could not stop myself from saying, out loud, in a terrified whisper, “No… no. Oh god.”

  103. Acher4

    What the…

    Ffffffffffffffffffffffu…

  104. Spammy McSpamster

    ABOUT TIME!

  105. Timinane

    Oh god NOOOOOOOOOOO!

  106. CaptMuffin

    Faz is here? FAZ!?
    DID SOMEBODY SAY BEST CHARACTER!?

  107. Tunaro

    FFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  108. Tenn

    “Hello, Amber. I am here to destroy your life. Won’t that be nice?”

  109. rustygreenscales

    At least this Faz gets a father figure in his life. Sorta.

  110. Toad

    *Quietly nopes into the sunset*

  111. LadySoll

    Perfect timing, just perfect. Can’t wait to see where this goes!!!!

  112. marky-marcus

    OH SHIT

  113. Martin S Smith

    Dina and Faz would be a great couple!

  114. Beachfox

    Just one panel of Blaine’s face is enough to know that he can’t die soon enough in this universe as well.

  115. Josh

    Yes!

  116. Darth Cariss

    Faz was one of my favorite SP! characters. I hope he’s more like Faz first was, when he was more of a threat and a functional person and not just “the weird guy” that he later became for a joke every now and then.

    1. timemonkey

      How can Faz be a threat at a school he doesn’t even go to?

  117. Crumplepunch

    I think kung fu is going to happen.

  118. Silent_Thunder

    Oh hey, it’s Faz. Yay for Faz. 😐

  119. CianM1301

    Ah! Amber’s Dad!
    AHHH!!! FAZ!!!

  120. Deemah

    I don’t know what’s worse… Amber’s Dad is pretty shit

  121. Bugberry

    I’m having Evangelion flashbacks.

    1. Varangian

      Somehow I think even Gendo is a preferable father to have compared to Blaine.

  122. Jimmy

    Are you friggin’ friggin’ me?

  123. Jackson

    Well crap, we had a good run. Hello, Faz.

  124. Biege

    well, crap. I pray Ambers dad is less of an asshole in this universe.

    also, damnt Faz

  125. Mike

    When Dina said Amber’s family I thought it would be Joe Sr. and Amber’s mom doing their thing, not the two worst people in the world.

  126. showler

    Maybe Danny will drop by and drive them both to suicide?

  127. Zombie

    So this is my first comic by Willis, can someone explain to me why Amber’s dad is so bad? And her step-brother?

    1. theKOT

      I would also like to know.

    2. timemonkey

      Well, we don’t know what they’re like in this version so we’re just reacting to what they were like in the other universe. Over there they’re very unpleasant. Faz is a huge pervert, power hungry, opportunistic and generally horrible but on the ineffective side. He exists largely for humour, horrifying humour but humour nonetheless. Amber’s dad was a physically and emotionally abusive asshole who cheated on her mother a lot leaving her half-siblings all over the place, including Faz who was totally into her up until shortly before he found out she was his sister, and had Korean mafia ties that got Amber’s family’s life put in danger.

      1. showler

        The thought of a Faz who is being raised by Amber’s father is not a pleasant thought.

  128. Björn

    So is this Amazi-Girl’s rogues gallery?

  129. Tomaj

    WHAT THE FAZ

  130. Notebooked

    Eee! So the best-case scenario here is that Amber’s dad left Amber’s mom and got together with Faz’s mom. The slightly worse case scenario is that Amber’s dad cheated on Amber’s mom. The absolute worst case scenario is horrible and not worth considering.

  131. GoldStarz

    My one regret is that now I’ll never see the Faz virus… Unless Faz is Patient Zero, and it only started becoming contagious once he came to the area.

    1. The Candyman

      Soon he shall infect us all.

      1. GoldStarz

        As you can see by this chart… Oh god it’s spreading already.

  132. Aaron

    Dammit Willis, don’t do this! I can’t hang with so much drama!

  133. The Candyman

    I remember when I said Joyce’s parents didnt actually stirr up any kind of hatred from me, even when they were being horrible.

    Amber’s dad has been around for two seconds and I want to punch him through a wall.

  134. Jack Finch

    Well Willis, you warned us that the worst parents were yet to come.

  135. Tomb

    I kind of hate her dad for having a question mark after “Amber”. As if he did not Immediatly recognize his own daughter.

    1. khambatta

      Ooh. Witness protection name change?

  136. Tufto

    Faz! Woo! 😀

    And Amber’s dad. Not so woo. 🙁

  137. Bunivasal

    Amazing character design. I already hate him more than every anime villain from my childhood.

    In other news, everyone may want to evacuate Indiana, as I’ll be nuking it from orbit now.

  138. Morgauxo

    Haz Faz been hitting on Dina? If so, did she even understand what he was up to?

  139. sarpiedon

    Ack! its Faz…
    So here he’s Amber’s Step brother not Half brother.
    probably still has a thing for Amber , but in this Universe it’s Legal!
    (no less creepy though, cuz…hey…its Faz…)

    1. Dierna

      Ah but if Blaine adopted Faz then as her adopted brother it would be illegal for them to be together.

  140. Hoboturtle

    Hey, it’s Faz and… Amber’s older brother. Seriously Blaine looks ridiculously young.

  141. timemonkey

    Just turn around and walk away Amber.

  142. MrJrSr

    Maybe he’s not the abusive nut sack as he was in shortpacked and Maybe faz is… no screw it in any reality Faz is still Faz

  143. Charles RB

    NOOOOOOOOO!!!

  144. Hoboturtle

    Wait… wasn’t Dina with her family?

    1. The Candyman

      They’re hiding behind the door.

  145. SeanNOLA

    Faz\Dina

  146. Hotsauce

    I am already squirming with discomfort

  147. Temporal Loop

    As soon as I saw them, I said “nononononono” out loud. And then snarled.

    I was not prepared for this.

  148. Alexis

    DUCK AND COVER

  149. The Candyman

    Amber’s dad is going to pervishly hit on Billie. Calling it now.

    Mainly because it’s exactly the thing you’d expect that fucker to do.

  150. Angel

    I hope this guy isn’t in with the Korean mafia

  151. Nym

    On the plus side, at least Amber does not have the trauma of being biologically related to Faz in this universe?

    . . . Or maybe that is a reveal just waiting for the next storyline.

  152. Baker

    I feel like her dad married the woman he was having an affair with, and also abandoned the hell out of Amber.

  153. Regalli

    Oh godDAMN I suspected it!

    Excuse me while I WEEP.

  154. AHR

    AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA –takes a deep breath– AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

    HOLY CRUMPETS I DID NOT SEE THAT ONE COMING

  155. Potatamoto

    One is suddenly forced to wonder about the line ‘she was going to be along later this afternoon.’

    Was this phrasing a deliberate attempt to avoid the double entendre of ‘she’d be coming later this afternoon’ and try to class this place up a little bit? Or was it a sadly missed opportunity?

  156. Gargamel

    I wonder if Amber is surprised to find out her Dad is alive?
    (Secretly hopes that the Blaine* arrival means a sudden increase of crime in the area, squee!)

    *Now that’s a SuperVillain name if ever I heard one.

    1. toddtr

      Glee figured out how good a villain name Blaine is 3 seasons ago

  157. Butts

    FAZ!

    That’s all I wanted. Day made.

  158. Arkantos

    Okay am I the only one who thinks Blaine looks like he’s about to start beating her up? The only people who wear the look he has on his face that I’ve met are complete sociopaths.

    1. Arkantos

      Oh hey I’m Ruth. I am totally okay with this.

    2. rachel

      blegh you are totally right, that is a total sociopath expression, isn’t it?

  159. AliaPie

    Oh shit.

    I’m assuming Faz will find the worst person to fixate on. I can’t wait.

  160. KKoro

    It’s uncanny how much like my own dad this is.

  161. The Candyman

    Actually, now that I think about it, Faz is probably going to be obsessed with Dorothy in this universe.

    When you can’t make it with your sister, go for the look-alike.

  162. Spencer the Tepig

    I feel for Amber in the third strip. Given the situation I totally would’ve screamed “FUCK!” In my mind.

  163. Volkai

    There’s an error in the tags for this comic. It says “Faz”, not “The Great Faz”.

    Also, DYW because Amber’s dad.

  164. Remie

    The great Faz returns XD

  165. Rin

    “AH! THE DEMONS ARE BACK! QUICK GET THE HOLY WATER AND A REALLY BAD CD TO FEND THEM OFF!” That is literally what flew through my mind the second I saw those two.

  166. Someone

    Can someone explain who these characters are? It’s clear that they are from the walkyverse, but I’m not familiar with it.

  167. Chris

    No, no, no, NO, NO, NO NO NO NONONONONONONO
    WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS?!

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