113

Whore
Posted on June 21, 2011 by David M Willis

113 thoughts on “Whore”

  1. Kernanator

    No, you fool! It’s the old “noise in the bushes” trick!

    1. Aizat

      I think Ruth is just humoring Billie.

      1. Rowen Morland

        I think Billie might have got the naked girl to yell it so Ruth wouldn’t suspect immediate treachery.

        1. David Herbert

          Naked girls always yell when I give them orgasms. Like your mom. I gave her one for a nickel.

        2. das-g

          Now that sounds like my mom paid you, rather than the other way around.

        3. Malisteen

          The important thing is that a nickel was involved.

        4. Angelgex01

          And her Mom.

  2. Plasma Mongoose

    She fell for one of the oldest tricks in the book. TSK TSK

    1. Kernanator

      Seriously, hasn’t Ruth read the Evil Overlord List?

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        For sure! Ruth isn’t as Genre Savvy as I thought she would be… unless it is one hell of a bluff.

        1. Kernanator

          I don’t think ANYONE can have that high of a Bluff score.

        2. Plasma Mongoose

          It depends on what class and level Ruth has.

        3. ryu

          Well I think it’s obvious about her class: She’s a Warrior.

          The Tank, to be exact.

        4. Meridian

          She’s a Sith Warrior.

        5. Ash

          Maybe she has 100 points in “Speech”

        6. Plasma Mongoose

          Don’t forget INtimidate.

        7. Kernanator

          The wild Ruth’s Intimidate cut Billie’s Attack!

        8. Commander Clash

          Critical fail that no saving roll can counteract. And she’s not a whore. A sadistic, vinidictive witch certainly…but she doesn’t get paid for it. Right?

    2. Aizat

      Again, she’s just humoring Billie, I think.

      1. Mkvenner

        Ruth has a cunning plan. As cunning as a fox who’s just been appointed Professor of Cunning at Oxford University.

        1. Kernanator

          You mean Cunningology.

        2. TheBenenator

          You mean Cunninglin— *SHOT*

          *Resurrected under unspecified circumstances*

          Ahem. I mean, Cunninmancy.

        3. Kernanator

          I was wondering when someone would say that.

        4. Plasma Mongoose

          Sounds like someone has been watching Blackadder recently.

  3. Rognik

    I swear, these are just medicinal!

    1. Kernanator

      I’ll medicinal you in your FAAAAACE!

      1. Darth Shadow

        It’s medicine! Medicine for my FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE

    2. Ridureyu

      “You use medicinal meth?”

      “Yeah! Uh, it’s cheaper than having them pull my wisdom teeth!”

  4. Ridureyu

    This drug search could take time. I mean,she’s got tyo go to her room and get the drugs to plant, right?

    “Walky, I found drugs stuffed in your mouth.”

    Walky: “Mmf mmf mmmmglglgbl!” (“These aren’t drugs! They’re Nachitos!”)

    1. Kernanator

      “No, see, that’s the thing: It turns out Nachitos are made with marijuana. And crack.

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        Not quite, nachitos are what you crave after smoking the weed and crack.

        1. Kernanator

          Ah, yes. The munchies.

      2. ryu

        explanes so much, really.

        1. Plasma Mongoose

          Either that or Walky was some kind of crack baby.

        2. Kernanator

          Crack babies are the best babies.

  5. Plasma Mongoose

    Soon Ruth will be using two of the scariest words in the English language:

    CAVITY SEARCH!

    1. Kernanator

      She’s going to search your cavities. With her fists.

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        Could be worse, she could be using her penis.

        1. Aizat

          AHHHHHHHHHH! THE IMAGE! IT BURNS!

        2. Plasma Mongoose

          If it’s burning, I recommend seeing a specialist.

        3. Kernanator

          Side effects may include crying, numbness, burning sensations, and a desire for the sweet embrace of death.

        4. Commander Clash

          Do not forget the overwhelming sensation to gouge out one’s “mind’s eye”. But realistically, there’d be a dorm wide revolution if she instituted cavity searches. There’s a lot more of them and one one of Ruth.

      2. Aizat

        Her fists to your FAAAAAAAACE!

        1. Plasma Mongoose

          Where she will reach down and yank out your FEMURS.

        2. milk experiment

          No, see, your femurs are what she uses to perform the cavity search. So she has to get them first.

    2. LimeTH

      She’ll require your butt.

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        and the rubber gloves. :O

        1. Kernanator

          The rubber gloves are for your mom.

  6. Aizat

    Random drug searches? I think the proper term is beating the crap out of some poor unlucky soul.

    1. Mkvenner

      is there any other way? 🙂

    2. Plasma Mongoose

      “Please Ruth, you gotta believe me, the only crack I have is when I bend over in these pants.”

      1. Maris

        “…and? Sounds like a punishable offense to me.”

        1. Plasma Mongoose

          What I seen of the young people, a disturbingly common fashion, more often than not practiced by those people who really SHOULDN’T.

        2. Kernanator

          It SHOULD be a punishable offense for some people.

        3. Plasma Mongoose

          I hope to avoid becoming the old man with the rocking chair telling kids to get off his lawn.

          Saying that, fashion has the annoying trend of becoming excessively popular even thou it doesn’t suit the clear majority who follow it.

  7. Kernanator

    Oh, and obligatory whoreswhoreswhoreswhoreswhoreswhoreswhoreswhoreswhores.

    1. Ancestral Hamster

      Hello there, Mr. Frank Miller! 😀

    2. Aizat

      Oh, whoreswhoreswhoreswhoreswhoreswhoreswhoreswhoreswhores prostitutes.

  8. NF

    If all Billie manages to do is yell “Ruth Lessick is a whore” in the middle of the hallway with Ruth there to hear and gets away with it, that is a win in my book. A little operation mayhem justice.

  9. Mkvenner

    Wait, does this universe also contain Something Positive?

    1. Merrick

      Nothing postitive about what Ruth’s gonna do to that freshman.

      1. Mkvenner

        Hot what meant but okay….

  10. Jimmy

    It just seems a little too easy, unless Ruth’s anger completely clouds her common sense. Which now that I think about it, isn’t entirely impossible.

    1. Head Alien

      You do realize your talking about someone who in two universes has first appeared violent and openly hostile I meen in the roomies comic she punched Joe for picking on Howard and wanted to punch Danny even though he was nice to Howard.

      1. David

        Some people don’t realize this because they only read Dumbing of Age. And that’s all they need to read. Bringing up years of conflicting continuity from another tangentally-related webcomic that chronicles a similar but different universe is just going to confuse.

        1. Head Alien

          Hahahaha since I’m acting as the Head Alien and dredging up memories seems to be a specialty of his I’m just continuing his work! (that and by making these kinds of comments will most likely get new viewers curiosity peeked enough to want to read the original.)

        2. Kaj

          This will continue to work until you are faced with some lesser-known heroes… where the research will be less than stellar 😉

        3. Head Alien

          He still has a file on everyone he comes into contact with it’s just that some files are less detailed than others and some people who those files belong too have accepted most of the things that are in them. “like Joe being a geek”

        4. David

          I don’t really want them to read the original. I’d rather folks be confused as little as possible and take the strips presented here at face value. (Maybe I should take the links down.)

          I guess this is an informal request that we just talk about this comic and not other comics. Please?

        5. Head Alien

          Ok if I have to make a reference to the original it will only be to posts that have questions only referring to the original.

        6. JBO

          Does this mean I am not allowed to talk about xkcd?

        7. David

          Talking about comics that aren’t mine is fine. 🙂

        8. JBO

          Allright because that would have been FACISM!

        9. gangler

          Faaaaaace-ism!

        10. CP

          Just a comment; never posted here before. I came here to read DoA originally, never having heard of It’s Walky or any of the rest, and while it was decent, it didn’t really hold my attention much. Once I found out it that this was a reference to another comic with a ton of characters that were already developed, I went back and read the whole archive (just finished like a week ago), and I can definitely say that DoA is a lot more interesting to me now.

          Having an understanding of characters’ personalities helps out tremendously, and I’d be sorry to see people miss out on that.

        11. Mkvenner

          Yea 😀

        12. Darth Cariss

          This is why I’d suggest making drastic changes to familiar characters, so people can’t relate them to their original versions so much.

      2. Jimmy

        Wow, I didn’t think my comment would get so many responses 🙂 and I have read Roomies. It’s just been so long that I had forgotten what Ruth was like there too.

        1. Mkvenner

          Alcoholic, violent and protective of Howard.

  11. shoeboxjeddy

    Wow, not only is Ruth a terrible RA because she’s horrible to her residents, she’s also terrible because she’s too dumb to ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS lock her door. Even while she’s inside the room. No seriously, ALWAYS.

    1. Thor

      To be fair, Ruth just walked in the room. She didn’t even have a chance to close the door.

      Why she didn’t close the door behind her (or look down the hall both ways) is a completely different question.

      1. shoeboxjeddy

        Even if the hallway was on FIRE you’d lock the room. And I’m not exaggerating, the doors are fire retardant in any decent dorm and it would increase the chance of your stuff not burning up.

        1. Maris

          It might have an autolock feature. It looks like it would have swung shut on its own had Billie not propped it open.

  12. Police Call Box

    So “random” in this case is anyone in the vicinity of that exclamation, just to make sure that the person yelling is included in the femur-beatings? That might take awhile.

    1. ryan

      not if she’s the best at what she does.

      1. Kernanator

        And what she does is face-punching.

        1. Cameraman

          You mean faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaace-punching. *coughs* With femurs. And a nickel. And her penis

        2. Kernanator

          She has a detachable penis.

  13. Rikushadow5

    I seriously doubt that Ruth has that freaking high of a Bluff score. And if she does, it’s because she has a crapton of levels in Rogue, as well as having Broken the Epic Levels.

    1. ryan

      not if billie got mary to shout it.

    2. Undrave

      I’m thinking she’s more of a Thaneborn Barbarian with a background to add Bluff in addition to Intimidate.

  14. Dahlia

    Stay classy, Billie. Stay classy. :\

  15. das-g

    First time we see Ruth’s room, isn’t it? I wonder what “[…]LARK!” is.

    1. Wackd

      It’s CLARK!, isn’t it? Like the dorm building?

      1. ryan

        i’m positive someone in the dorm is just an avid birdwatcher.

    2. Maris

      I think that’s outside in the hallway.

  16. Chase

    Even if Billie makes it out of there alive and with her uniform, Ruth obviously going to know it went missing and it’s pretty easy to figure out who did it… Even if Billie does a smart thing and goes to some higher level of authority about Ruth’s behavior, we all know Ruth’s still going to find tons of ways to get at Billie.

  17. Andy

    Are RA’s allowed to enter rooms without prior notice? I mean, I don’t think it’ll stop Ruth, but it could come back to bite her.

  18. Aslee

    See? Now think Ruth is letting Billie do this so when she comes back, Billie will be trapped in her room with NO WAY OUT.

    Why would she do this? I have no idea.

    Ok, so I have an idea, but I’m pretty sure it’s wrong.

    Maybe.

  19. Eston

    Am I the only one that sees no elbow? First thing I thought was “Holy crap! Billie is Elastigirl!”.

    1. Zem

      “We’re superheroes. What could happen?”

      Maybe she just rolls up her sleeves before she goes to work.

  20. Malisteen

    Anyone else hearing the Mission Impossible theme in their heads right now?

    Dun Dun Dundun
    Dun Dun Dundun…

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      M.I

  21. Bekah

    “Clever girl…”

    1. Kernanator

      And then Ruth was eaten by raptors.

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        Unless she eats them first.

        1. Kernanator

          She killed them with her bare hands. She also killed a bear and took its bear hands.

  22. Mighty Pinto

    …and in the next comic we see Ruth’s well-constructed (albeit amazingly creepy) Amazi-Girl shrine.

  23. Dream State's Author

    Or Ruth recognized Billie’s voice, and is now going to Billie’s room because of it. That be my guess.

  24. Trent

    Ruth seems so…mean spirited. I’m actually really hating her thus far.

    1. Kernanator

      Yeah, I mean, I kinda liked her at first because she was a funny asshole. Now, though, she’s just an asshole

  25. Jen Aside

    Odd, I could have sworn I posted yesterday…

    Random drug searches. In your FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE

    1. Kernanator

      You did. It was right before mine. Now I’m first.
      I feel so accomplished.

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