Will someone please tell Becky that there are stages between “nothing” and “sex”. If she wants to have a taste, she can have one without going all the way. Two girls can to all kinds of stuff entirely above the waist.
Yeah but she’s not holding on to ALL her principles.
I know I said it’s a good idea just below but it will be super individual, especially because she probably will get over various hangups over time, even if she keeps quite a few things as post marriage.
I was more suggesting that the Bible itself only actually calls out two acts as sinful (according to a former girlfriend from Israel).
Spilling male seed (so any non-married, non-procreative male ejaculation)
Anal sex of any sort.
SO technically lesbians aren’t sinful according to the Torah, which the Old Testament was directly based on, as long as they avoid butt stuff. Again, according to a Jewish lesbian I used to date – I’m no expert on this side of things, just repeating what I was told.
Actually, she went on to claim that, according to the Torah, female orgasms were a “mitzvah” (a good deed”) meaning that lesbians were actually blessed of god… but she didn’t provide sources or anything, and I certainly didn’t ask for citations. But I digress….
Now, that said, one can surmise that, since lesbians can now get married, the “no sex before marriage” rule would supersede all of that – but again, nowhere does the Bible mention anything to do with female breasts (or male ones for that matter).
OR, if anything sexual counts, then Becky has already passed that threshold by kissing her roommate at Anderson.
LeslieBean4shizzle
*Technical correction.
Okay, the Torah also calls out necrophilia and bestiality as sinful, but I figured those sexual acts were rather beyond the scope of the conversation. Just wanted to add this before someone pointed that out.
He Who Abides
Thankfully, everyone else seems to have understood this, though thank you for clarifying.
thejeff
What the Bible actually says has much less to do with any given church’s teachings than most want to admit. The guilt and shame she’s been programmed with go far beyond any simple reading of the Bible.
And I don’t think Becky’s the type to go for textual analysis to justify what she wants. She wasn’t impressed with Joyce when she did that to justify accepting homosexuality.
Segnosaur
“I’ve done everything the bible says. Even the stuff that contradicts the other stuff.”
– Ned Flanders (The Simpsons)
The fact is, the Bible is a mess of contradictions, and you can use it to justify or condemn almost any act you wish. That’s what churches do… they cherry-pick sections in order to support their already pre-conceived opinion. Remember, the bible was used in the 1800s to both justify and condemn slavery…. finding support in it to both condemn and justify premarital sex shouldn’t be too much of a stretch.
thejeff
Kind of. Though I think it’s more organic than that. It’s not like someone founds a church, then goes through the Bible to find verses that justify theology they came up with independently.
The opinions and beliefs grow up along with the references to support them. Sometimes people challenging the orthodoxy they grew up with dig through the text to justify their changed beliefs – see Joyce.
Michael Haneline
“It’s not like someone founds a church, then goes through the Bible to find verses that justify theology they came up with independently.”
No, it is more like someone founds a church to control the behavior of large groups of people and find verses to justify theology they came up with the purpose of controlling the masses.
Bruceski
Onan wasn’t smote for spilling seed generally. He was screwing his brother’s widow with the goal of providing her with an heir and then pulled out, frustrated that the child wouldn’t be considered “his” and the firstborn’s share of inheritance would go to the child (since it would officially be a child of his elder brother) rather than to him.
Byron Orpheus
Can I get chapter and verse on that? Considering how important sex (specifically the absence thereof) is to religious types, how little of the Torah, Bible, and Koran actually cover the subject, and how specific religious “leaders” get when relaying God’s word on the subject, I’d like to hear where the rules about boobs and licky-boom-boom-now are laid out.
I dunno if it’s the sort of abstinence only teaching that sort of groups all of that together? Like sexy stuff = sex. I wasn’t raised with organized religion so I don’t know if it’s sort of viewed as “all intimate acts wait until marriage”
Plus if both partners are like, eager, things can escalate quickly.
Eh, the “vaginal intercourse” angle still holds some weight. I didn’t masterbate until I was 17, out of fear that if hell existed, that would be a first-class ticket. But I started watching porn a year earlier, just without any physical self-gratification–my reasoning? “Well, pornography wasn’t invented when the Bible was written, right?”
*self-depricating facepalm*
I didn’t even grow up in a religious household.
mrnoidea
Educate yourselves, kids.
Meagan
Oh they definitely had pornography. I think from the time humans started drawing in the dirt with sticks there’s been pornography. Pottery is a good example – someone just showed me a piece of pottery at a museum that has a satyr masturbating on it.
There’s some hypothesis that the Venus of Willendorf was early porn. Even though it’s only a pair of boobish shapes and a slit.
Of course, that does nothing to negate the “fertility worship” hypothesis.
LeslieBean4shizzle
I mean, it’s not like “fertility worship” and “porn” are mutually exclusive. What better way to pray to a sex god/goddess than by masturbating to them?
LeslieBean4shizzle
Whoops – misread your post. I somehow got the exact opposite meaning out of your last sentence. So yeah, we’re in agreement! Yay!
thejeff
Not to negate the point – but the better way would be actual sex in the fields. 🙂
Azhrei Vep
To answer Leslie’s Hypothetical question: By fucking in a way that could result in conception, probably.
LeslieBean4shizzle
Fair point.
I was thinking solo worship.
BBCC
The bible takes place in (among other places) the Roman Empire and Ancient Egypt. I PROMISE there was porn.
Jon Rich
Hell, you can still *see* it. In Pompeii, at the old brothels, there’s wall art depicting sexual acts. Sure, it might technically be more of advertising than straight pornography, but it still definitely existed.
Zaxares
If I recall correctly, there’s one famous graffiti from some guy bragging about how he did 2 women AND a guy at the same time. XD
honestly my partner and I did this, spending a ton of time on every tiny incremental step between holding hands and making out and making out and sexual-but-not-sex things, and those and finally having sex, then different types of sex, and it meant that a) we technically took things slower than any couple I knew, and b) we got really good at a lot of things. It’s a good plan*.
(probably works less good if you break up, though. no idea how well either of us would be suited to anyone except each other, especially now that we’ve been together ten years)
*if you want to take things slow and/or like to get used to things
I would love it if I had a super hot girlfriend who was ready to do sexy things with me whenever I’m willing. Though I also wasn’t raised with fundie Christian levels of sexual repression and such.
Because maybe getting a teenage marriage just because your horny and your fundie upbringing frowns on premarital sex is a bad idea even when you’re not straight?
127 thoughts on “Willin’”
Ana Chronistic
“Becky, calm down and go in your bedroom and pet the cat”
“There’s a cat in there??”
shadowcell
Becky and Dina Pet the Kitty: A Dumbing of Age PornographiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiHAHA FOOLED YOU
Felian
Hahaha wonderful
auroki
*Becky goes inside the room only to discover that BlowJob cat has taken over*
Arawn
It’s so hard not to do follow up jokes that will make this worse.
Fiiiiilo
bruh
Bagge
awwwww, Becky <3
This strip makes me laugh and want to hug her at the same time.
Kensou
Same, her adorable levels are off the chart here.
Stephen Bierce
*plays The Clash’s “Should I Stay Or Should I Go?” on the hacked Muzak*
abysswatcher1993
Beware of summoning the Demogorgon.
Clif
Is Rebeca St James in the Clash? I think not.
Unless of course she is, in which case nevermind.
PB
YAY THE CLASH
Also perfect music for this
Also Stranger Things
Also awkward first relationship milestones
Mada
Dangit Becky, get out of the room Joyce and Dorothy are in and get into your girlfriend’s pants.
Suet
*mildly shrugs*
“Oh look, the devil’s advocates table, er, corner!”
LeslieBean4shizzle
Will someone please tell Becky that there are stages between “nothing” and “sex”. If she wants to have a taste, she can have one without going all the way. Two girls can to all kinds of stuff entirely above the waist.
insomniac
Yeah, but… it isn’t like any of that ISN’T a sin.
(Unless you’re one of those really fringe fundies who thinks it’s only a sin when it’s vaginal intercourse, and anything else is a-OK)
Axel
Yeah but she’s not holding on to ALL her principles.
I know I said it’s a good idea just below but it will be super individual, especially because she probably will get over various hangups over time, even if she keeps quite a few things as post marriage.
LeslieBean4shizzle
I was more suggesting that the Bible itself only actually calls out two acts as sinful (according to a former girlfriend from Israel).
Spilling male seed (so any non-married, non-procreative male ejaculation)
Anal sex of any sort.
SO technically lesbians aren’t sinful according to the Torah, which the Old Testament was directly based on, as long as they avoid butt stuff. Again, according to a Jewish lesbian I used to date – I’m no expert on this side of things, just repeating what I was told.
Actually, she went on to claim that, according to the Torah, female orgasms were a “mitzvah” (a good deed”) meaning that lesbians were actually blessed of god… but she didn’t provide sources or anything, and I certainly didn’t ask for citations. But I digress….
Now, that said, one can surmise that, since lesbians can now get married, the “no sex before marriage” rule would supersede all of that – but again, nowhere does the Bible mention anything to do with female breasts (or male ones for that matter).
OR, if anything sexual counts, then Becky has already passed that threshold by kissing her roommate at Anderson.
LeslieBean4shizzle
*Technical correction.
Okay, the Torah also calls out necrophilia and bestiality as sinful, but I figured those sexual acts were rather beyond the scope of the conversation. Just wanted to add this before someone pointed that out.
He Who Abides
Thankfully, everyone else seems to have understood this, though thank you for clarifying.
thejeff
What the Bible actually says has much less to do with any given church’s teachings than most want to admit. The guilt and shame she’s been programmed with go far beyond any simple reading of the Bible.
And I don’t think Becky’s the type to go for textual analysis to justify what she wants. She wasn’t impressed with Joyce when she did that to justify accepting homosexuality.
Segnosaur
“I’ve done everything the bible says. Even the stuff that contradicts the other stuff.”
– Ned Flanders (The Simpsons)
The fact is, the Bible is a mess of contradictions, and you can use it to justify or condemn almost any act you wish. That’s what churches do… they cherry-pick sections in order to support their already pre-conceived opinion. Remember, the bible was used in the 1800s to both justify and condemn slavery…. finding support in it to both condemn and justify premarital sex shouldn’t be too much of a stretch.
thejeff
Kind of. Though I think it’s more organic than that. It’s not like someone founds a church, then goes through the Bible to find verses that justify theology they came up with independently.
The opinions and beliefs grow up along with the references to support them. Sometimes people challenging the orthodoxy they grew up with dig through the text to justify their changed beliefs – see Joyce.
Michael Haneline
“It’s not like someone founds a church, then goes through the Bible to find verses that justify theology they came up with independently.”
No, it is more like someone founds a church to control the behavior of large groups of people and find verses to justify theology they came up with the purpose of controlling the masses.
Bruceski
Onan wasn’t smote for spilling seed generally. He was screwing his brother’s widow with the goal of providing her with an heir and then pulled out, frustrated that the child wouldn’t be considered “his” and the firstborn’s share of inheritance would go to the child (since it would officially be a child of his elder brother) rather than to him.
Byron Orpheus
Can I get chapter and verse on that? Considering how important sex (specifically the absence thereof) is to religious types, how little of the Torah, Bible, and Koran actually cover the subject, and how specific religious “leaders” get when relaying God’s word on the subject, I’d like to hear where the rules about boobs and licky-boom-boom-now are laid out.
Felian
Felian
Felian
Fuck me in the ass cause i love Jesus – The good lord would want it that way!
electriccombines
I dunno if it’s the sort of abstinence only teaching that sort of groups all of that together? Like sexy stuff = sex. I wasn’t raised with organized religion so I don’t know if it’s sort of viewed as “all intimate acts wait until marriage”
Plus if both partners are like, eager, things can escalate quickly.
mrnoidea
Eh, the “vaginal intercourse” angle still holds some weight. I didn’t masterbate until I was 17, out of fear that if hell existed, that would be a first-class ticket. But I started watching porn a year earlier, just without any physical self-gratification–my reasoning? “Well, pornography wasn’t invented when the Bible was written, right?”
*self-depricating facepalm*
I didn’t even grow up in a religious household.
mrnoidea
Educate yourselves, kids.
Meagan
Oh they definitely had pornography. I think from the time humans started drawing in the dirt with sticks there’s been pornography. Pottery is a good example – someone just showed me a piece of pottery at a museum that has a satyr masturbating on it.
Opus the Poet
There’s some hypothesis that the Venus of Willendorf was early porn. Even though it’s only a pair of boobish shapes and a slit.
Of course, that does nothing to negate the “fertility worship” hypothesis.
LeslieBean4shizzle
I mean, it’s not like “fertility worship” and “porn” are mutually exclusive. What better way to pray to a sex god/goddess than by masturbating to them?
LeslieBean4shizzle
Whoops – misread your post. I somehow got the exact opposite meaning out of your last sentence. So yeah, we’re in agreement! Yay!
thejeff
Not to negate the point – but the better way would be actual sex in the fields. 🙂
Azhrei Vep
To answer Leslie’s Hypothetical question: By fucking in a way that could result in conception, probably.
LeslieBean4shizzle
Fair point.
I was thinking solo worship.
BBCC
The bible takes place in (among other places) the Roman Empire and Ancient Egypt. I PROMISE there was porn.
Jon Rich
Hell, you can still *see* it. In Pompeii, at the old brothels, there’s wall art depicting sexual acts. Sure, it might technically be more of advertising than straight pornography, but it still definitely existed.
Zaxares
If I recall correctly, there’s one famous graffiti from some guy bragging about how he did 2 women AND a guy at the same time. XD
Axel
honestly my partner and I did this, spending a ton of time on every tiny incremental step between holding hands and making out and making out and sexual-but-not-sex things, and those and finally having sex, then different types of sex, and it meant that a) we technically took things slower than any couple I knew, and b) we got really good at a lot of things. It’s a good plan*.
(probably works less good if you break up, though. no idea how well either of us would be suited to anyone except each other, especially now that we’ve been together ten years)
*if you want to take things slow and/or like to get used to things
He Who Abides
I suspect that she’s worried that going beyond “nothing” will end in “sex”, because she won’t be able to stop.
THEHYPERBOLOID
That rings way too true.
Kyrik Michalowski
Becky’s fears and worries here are hilarious to imagine her bouncing off of Joyce because I can’t imagine Joyce having any better input.
Also, it’s officially my birthday, so Sarah and I are now sharing a birthday(for this brief moment), hooray!
electriccombines
Happy birthday!!!!
BarerMender
Happy happy!
Ron
Happy birthday! You share your birthday with St Nicholas! (or at least the european version of St Nicholas…)
Norah
Happy Birthday!
LeslieBean4shizzle
Have a most pleasant natality!
Kathleen
poor Becky. she sure has a lot of practice putting on the happy face for people and feeling an intense burden about it.
AntJ
This is going to lead to that frank discussion about sexual repression between Dorothy and Joyce, isn’t it? http://www.dumbingofage.com/2018/comic/book-8/04-of-mike-and-men/halfirritated/
Reltzik
Nope. Joyce doesn’t have a receipt.
JetstreamGW
We can always remember the wisdom of Mr. Warner: Get in there and tap that ample hein… wait, wait, no, that might not be helpful right now…
DailyBrad
Becky, Rich Mullins can pencil you in for a dream intervention soon, get on the waiting list.
Keulen
I would love it if I had a super hot girlfriend who was ready to do sexy things with me whenever I’m willing. Though I also wasn’t raised with fundie Christian levels of sexual repression and such.
Ron
I didn’t know that was a requirement…
abysswatcher1993
An atheist, an… atheist?, and a lesbian sit on the floor and contemplate their life choices and how romance is hard.
He Who Abides
I think Joyce qualifies as an agnostic at the moment.
w00t
Dunno, to me it seems like she still believes in god, she’s just starting to think he might be a real jerk who shouldn’t be obeyed.
abysswatcher1993
Misotheist then.
jmsr7
Nope, atheist. Or possibly agnostic if you go by popular useage, at least until she firms up her thoughts more. See here.
thejeff
Questioning.
Doubting.
Going through a crisis of faith.
Possibly even recovering.
She’s certainly not to atheist. Maybe agnostic, but I wouldn’t go that far.
It’s hard to apply labels to someone in transition.
NF
The composition of the drawing in this strip feels like a Neon Genesis Evangelion reference, especially in panels 2 and 5.
Needfuldoer
First thing I thought of was The Sims, because of the isometric camera angle.
Woomy
Just marry Dina.
I don’t see the issue.
DarkoNeko
“it’s ok, it only apply with boys”
Reltzik
Because maybe getting a teenage marriage just because your horny and your fundie upbringing frowns on premarital sex is a bad idea even when you’re not straight?
Woomy
Tell that to half of my old youth group
StClair
Too late!
thejeff