112

Wish
Posted on December 13, 2019 by David M Willis

112 thoughts on “Wish”

  1. Ana Chronistic

    I wish I could enunciate as well as Sarah with a fork in my mouth

    …wait no, that would mean I have to talk

    n/m

    1. anonamousethatscurriesinthedarkness

      Talking is a waste of energy and effort when nobody actually listens.

  2. auroki

    New goal. Steal my own birthday cake.

    1. Doctor_Who

      And eat it too!

    2. cesium133

      * enter bakery
      * cover baker in flour
      * steal birthday cake
      * set oven on fire
      * bake cookies: gather the following items: flour, sugar, butter, vanilla, eggs, chocolate chips

      1. Rex Vivat

        gdi I want that
        if there’s one thing I had to complain about that game is that it was too short

      2. SillyGoose

        Do NOT cover the baker in flour then light a fire. Repeat: do not.
        Flour dust is highly explosive. We’re trying to be a fun jerk here, not a murderer.

        1. Charlie Spencer

          Non-dairy creamer is even more flammable.

        2. auroki

          I found that out the accidental fun way in high school of what is surprisingly flammable

        3. anonamousethatscurriesinthedarkness

          My chemistry teacher did that with the standard flour dust explosion demonstration with a followup at the end of semester class where everyone was encouraged to bring in materials to either explode or combust in pure O2.
          We even had a video camera from the camera club and the science clubs spectrometer setup to document everything. We only scorched a few ceiling tiles.

        4. AutobotDen

          …This is one of those times when I wish the comments had a “Like” button.

        5. Chris

          When I was in high school, one class trip included dinner at a (relatively) fancy restaurant. Certain of my classmates discovered that when you toss a bit of sugar into a candle flame, it flares up. Then they discovered that when you do the same with artificial sweetener, the candle goes out with lots of smoke.

  3. Beef

    Gotta love how comics are just kinda suspended I’m real world time.

    1. Beef

      That was probably the wrong word but y’all get it

    2. Opus the Poet

      I think the operative phrase is “floating time line” where the comic is always in the present day and things in the past are the same distance away in the past despite the passage of time IRL.

    3. Jasmijn

      https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/WebcomicTime

  4. Black Bumblebee

    Untitled Goose Game?

    1. Opus the Poet

      Seems that way.

    2. Fiiiiilo

      one of the tags should be Untitled Goose Game

    3. AJ

      If anyone else is reading this and out of the loop like me, it appears ‘Untitled Goose Game’ is the actual name of the game.

      1. thejeff

        I’m only aware of this because I saw Willis tweets about it in the side bar, just about 3 months ago.

      2. Roborat

        Which means it actually is titled.

      3. Autoskip

        Yup, when they first announced it, the game was just something they’d whipped up for fun and practice, so the trailer was a complete joke and the game didn’t have a title. One suddenly huge fanbase later, and they figured they should probably actually make it into a proper game, and the working title (or lack thereof) ended up sticking.

  5. BBCC

    Sarah is so relatable <3

  6. shadowcell

    Dumbing of Age Book 10: Eat Puddle You Four-Eyed Dorkus

    1. Keulen

      DoA Book 10: Keeping Up With Everyone’s Drama And Performing Sympathy Is Friggin’ Exhausting

    2. Tacos

      Dumbing of Age Book 10: Hompk. Hompk.

  7. Stephen Bierce

    Peace of Mind
    Is a Piece of Cake!    –Talking Heads

    1. DaveM

      Oh Sarah.
      “Things fall apart. It’s scientific.” – same Talking Heads song as above (‘Wild Wild Life’ for those of you playing at home).

    2. Stephen Bierce

      If I’d thought of it the song would have been Stevie Wonder’s “I Wish”. But I wasn’t fast enough today.

  8. PHNX

    What are they playing?

    1. Pare

      Untitled Goose Game. One of the tasks is to trip a boy into a puddle.

    2. Pablo360

      probably that game without a title which features a goose

      1. abysswatcher1993

        “We live in fear from the terror of the lake.” the stupendium

  9. ian livs

    PRESS Y TO HONK

    1. Delicious Taffy

      I’d rather press X to Jason.

      1. Tacos

        What of Press X To Doubt? Or the ever-popular Press F To Pay Respects?

        1. Schpoonman

          F

        2. Jess

          F

        3. Delicious Taffy

          First off, F.

          Second, you press SQUARE to doubt.

        4. Ike

          Not if you’re playing on Xbox. I’m pretty sure the meme is with X too.

        5. Jasmijn

          I only know it as (X) Doubt

  10. Pocky

    what kind of cake is it?

    This is important information.

  11. Robbie

    Goose game! That came out the same day as Links Awakening, which was not delivered on time, and we had a links Awakening party with special food and everything (just me, spouse, and kids, but still)
    So we got the goose game and played that all evening instead.

  12. Regalli

    1. On-brand for these two.
    2. Always nice when you can see when a set of strips was written before the buffer. Three months ago! Nice job as ever, Past Willis!

  13. Miri

    Oh good, she isn’t advocating cruelty to kitties… I was momentarily puzzled and concerned.

    I mean, it provided a few seconds’ distraction from politics? (Am in UK. Not happy with election results. Like and value things like the NHS, schools, being part of the EU, etc. Dislike campaigns built on lies, liars, the government spending ridiculous sums on making the country worse-off long and short-term…)

    1. vitalProximity

      I mean in 2016 I went to my job at a school the day after the election here in the US and many of my fellow educators were all wearing black. Also, more importantly, these Google Trends results from 2016. The top 5 “How to…” Google searches in the US that year:

      How to…
      1) How to play Pokémon Go?
      2) How to register to vote?
      3) How to play Powerball?
      4) How to make slime?
      5) How to move to Canada?

      …I suspect you may see something similar this year in the UK. What would be the equivalent for you guys, how to move to France?

      …Anyway, welcome to the hostage situation. Don’t worry, you don’t get used to it, but eventually you can start compensating for the pervasive sense of surrealness with some particularly vicious humor. Pop some popcorn and enjoy the show. Take comfort in the glacial speed of bureaucracy. You have our sympathies. <3

      1. Keulen

        I remember I wore black the day after the 2016 election here, and I’ve worn a black shirt once a week ever since.

      2. wwwhhattt

        ”When will Scotland become independant”

        1. Joe Covenant

          As soon as bloody possible!
          (One hopes! If not, “How to move to Canada” might make a resurgence!)

      3. Minim

        After our dumb EU referendum a lot of people started showing interest in getting Irish passports, so I think that’s our equivalent.

        Bleh, politics… at least there’s plenty of good satire programs? *shrug*

      4. JBento

        You think that’s something? You think that’s ANYTHING? The night after the Brexit vote, the top searches in the UK were:

        “What is the EU?”
        “What does the EU do?”
        “What does it mean to leave the EU?”

        To me, that sounds like the sort of shit you should google BEFORE voting about it, but I’m weird like that.

        1. vitalProximity

          OMG nooooo D:

      5. Chris

        Searches for “UK election results” and “Scottish independence” both spiked at right around the same time yesterday.

  14. Sirksome

    How soon till everyone’s walking around with Switch lites.

  15. NF

    Something about Billie and Ruth in this strip gives me real “I think these crazy kids are gonna make it” vibes.

    1. Needfuldoer

      Yeah, it looks like the nap helped Billie recover a bit.

  16. tirachokko

    damn, it’s all a mood

  17. Tacos

    So what are they playing?

    1. Sirksome

      Untitled Goose Game. A game basically about being the biggest jerk of a goose possible.

      1. abysswatcher1993

        Billie is already a jerk, so she is winning by default. Malaya would break the game though.

      2. Tacos

        Ahh so it’s that one game that was basically popular for like a week on Youtube and then quickly forgotten.

        1. Delicious Taffy

          Happy Wheels? Dream Daddy? Any game released in 2017?

        2. Apostate

          Forgotten? Who forgets goose?

        3. Zee

          Wdym forgotten? Ive been hearing about it since it came out

        4. 3oranges

          Did you know that even though people proclaimed Pokemon Go dead within a month, it still has an active fan community today? A lot of games have a spike in hype when they first come up, but this “everyone loves this game but forgets it right away” thing isn’t real. I still see goose fan art.

  18. DarkoNeko

    Looks like the cat wants cake

  19. Suet

    Wishes aren’t always granted anyway… wait, who owns the “Switch”?

    *plays Lesley Gore’s It’s My Party on the hacked Muzak* I wish the buffers weren’t always updated by 5 days, like yesterday I wish for a bombshell strip by Christmas

  20. Jaxx Sentinel

    That goose has invaded another universe !

    1. abysswatcher1993

      Of course a nerd hater like Billie would enjoy playing as the biggest jerk in video games. That goose rivals Lex Luthor, who stole 50 cakes!

      1. Queen Anthai

        Forty. That’s as many as four tens.

        1. Maddieface

          That’s terrible

      2. vitalProximity

        Okay but Carla’s Halloween costume though

  21. abysswatcher1993

    Performing sympathy, eh Sarah? Are you sure? Your jaded views and self defeat smell like bitter black coffee with no sugar, and your anger roasts it to some intolerable brand of coffee that can only be “enjoyed” by edgelords.

    Can the cat poop in Sarah’s cake to add extra karma?

    1. Jaxx Sentinel

      …so wait..sarah smells like Folgers ?

      1. Needfuldoer

        The best part of waking up is misanthropy in your cup!

        1. He Who Abides

          And incest.

    2. Woomy

      …Jesus

      1. Delicious Taffy

        What does any of this mean?

        1. hof1991

          At Christmas, the Folgers coffee company make a new heart warming commercial. One seemed to show a brother / sister having a romantic cup to start the day. A meme you can skip. https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/folgers-brother-and-sister-commercial

        2. David M Willis

          i will never skip this meme

        3. Roborat

          Dammit, I have spent several years trying to forget that existed.

    3. Tan

      Sarah Performs a Sympathy ….Via Heavy Other-Jacob Contact.

  22. Lingo

    “Four-eyed dorkus” — as if Billie, Ruth, and basically half of everyone she knows aren’t also “four-eyed”, lol. Also, the kid in that game is basically Howard.

    1. abysswatcher1993

      British Howard.

    2. Pablo360

      I’d just realized that! That’s why Ruth didn’t trip him in the puddle!

  23. BenRG

    Does that rule about not saying it aloud matter when you prefer not to acknowledge the existence of other people around you?

    1. Michelle J. Caboose

      Even when you deny the existence of other people, they still exist around you.

      Unfortunately.

  24. Emperor Norton II

    Speaking of birthday wishes… While birthday cake and even blowing out the candles are also things in Norway, birthday wishes, while technically existing, definitely aren’t taken as seriously as in USA. Heck, I don’t ever remember really wishing for anything myself.

    I do remember the first time I saw someone taking it seriously, though; because I found out a little bit later what it was.

    This was in 2011, and I was in USA, visiting this just absolutely amazing girl that I’d known online for almost a year. I was even lucky enough that she had her birthday while I was there.

    Now, while we spent her actual birthday alone (ahem), two days later, we visited her parents, and had a normal birthday party with cake and presents and stuff. And she very, very, strongly made a wish. Which she didn’t tell anyone at the time because that’s against the rules.

    I found out a few days later that her wish was that I’d propose to her.

    I found out this because a few days later, I proposed to her, making her wish come true.

    1. Zaxares

      That is such an awesome story. :3 I hope the two of you are still together and having the time of your lives!

      1. Geneseepaws

        Ditto the above.

        1. Emperor Norton II

          Good news. We are.

    2. BBCC

      Too cute

      Iz ded.

  25. Axel

    at least they have good taste in video games

  26. Eve

    Gotta replay that goose game.

  27. BenRG

    This is basically Willis poking fun at the comic trope of having a character speak their inner monologue aloud, isn’t it?

  28. Kaz

    The world’s strongest mattress! Doesn’t bend even with 3 people sitting on it!

  29. StClair

    “Performing sympathy”? Oof. Sarah, my liking of you just took a big hit.

    1. begbert2

      “Performing” doesn’t always mean something’s artificial; it means you’re carrying out a task. (If you perform surgery, the result isn’t fake.)

      My read is that for Sarah, sympathy is something that she does consciously, by forcing herself not to instinctively employ the defensive distancing mechanism of snark and to really focus on the other person’s feelings. It’s work to her, but the result is still genuine.

      1. Regalli

        Also, like.

        Even if I am genuinely sympathetic to your plight, I can only spare so much of that sympathy at a time before burning out. This is why caregiver burnout exists, for example – you don’t stop loving your aging parent even as their health is failing and you’re the one managing their life, but it is EXHAUSTING to do, particularly with the attendant ‘thinking about your parent’s mortality’ bit. It’s why people eventually need to plug out of politics and current events for a while – being always on and caring eventually leaves you nonfunctional.

        And in Sarah’s case, she has a LOT of worry for Joyce and not a lot of energy to be social about it, even before we talk about the defensiveness. It’s gotta be exhausting when, in the span of one semester, your roommate’s been drugged in an attempted date rape; gotten you to discuss your own trauma; had a best friend show up in crisis; had best friend’s dad show up to kidnap her, threatening your roommate at gunpoint; crisis of faith began; attempted rapist showed back up again; attempted rapist attempted to get into dorm and get after roommate and friend (and probably you for hitting him with a baseball bat), and was only stopped after a brutal stabbing; and now this whole first heartbreak based off bad behavior you helped encourage thing.

        And we’re only NOW at midterms. And I’m skipping stuff Sarah hasn’t been in some way present for or that I otherwise forgot.

        And meanwhile the RA was suicidally depressed and banging your neighbor in an alcoholic depression pact. Seriously, being in this friend circle is EXHAUSTING.

        1. Regalli

          Like, Sarah can’t NOT care on some level that her roommate is having at least three crises, because she lives with her, but I’m pretty certain she doesn’t have the emotional bandwidth to invest in, say, Amber’s problems because Jesus FUCK, this semester. I’m not certain Sarah’s had the emotional bandwidth to really assess her OWN life and issues this semester between the armed intruders on campus.

    2. Zee

      I mean it’s not like she’s obligated to care about everyone’s drama

  30. Tobias

    I need Sarah and Ruth to team up more, if only to see the sheer force of their combined sarcasm demolish a mountain range.

  31. Delicious Taffy

    Eh, she’s in front of people. Her prickly shield is up, so we can’t really take that remark at face value.

  32. Bagge

    I will be honest: “Naughty goose” is the one “sexy Halloween costume” I will get behind

    1. JBento

      “get behind”

    2. 3oranges

      “Naughty goose” feels redundant.

  33. Jhon

    Honking puzzles Untitled Cat.

  34. Rabisch

    Now eat the cake!

  35. FacelessDeviant

    Forshadowing!

  36. TrueVCU

    Hompk

  37. seen2much

    Wait a minute, is that the same cat Amazi-girl saved from a tree earlier?

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