126

Works
Posted on May 18, 2018 by David M Willis

126 thoughts on “Works”

  1. AnvilPro

    I mean, the mighty Galasso would be the one to know

    1. Woobie

      Walky with a bowtie would displace Galasso.

      1. C.T Phipps

        In 10 years, Jason is the Destro to Galasso’s Cobra Commander.

      2. NelC

        Walky would not be able to tie a bow-tie. He’d probably try a clip-on, but he’d still find it restricted his breathing. Not that a clip-on would pass Galasso’s inspection, anyway.

  2. Ana Chronistic

    boo-yah, never need to interview again!

    #lifehacks

    1. Yumi

      I was thinking that too, but then I remembered that I don’t know how to tie a bow tie. I also hate things around my neck.
      I’d have to wear a clip on. Which is why I only have temp work.

      1. Jallorn

        Bow ties are super easy. With an actual bow tie you could probably figure it out with a pictogram.

      2. LeslieBean4Shizzle

        Yumi, your logic (particularly involving the effect of a clip-on) is brilliant. I heartily applaud it.

      3. Dex

        Youtube tutorial videos saved the day for me. Now I have all of the jobs!

    2. Ivy

      Woomy!

    3. Killer Klown

      Dress for the job you want.

      1. Reltzik

        And, let’s be honest, Jason didn’t REALLY want to be a Math Teacher’s Assistant.

        ….. well, okay, he wanted to BE a Math Teacher’s Assistant, but he didn’t want to DO Math Teacher’s Assisting.

        ….. should that perhaps be “dress for the job you want to do”, instead?

        1. thejeff

          I think Jason actually wanted to do Math Teacher Assisting (or at least wanted to be a Math Teacher and Assisting was the route to get there). He was just bad at it and likely had no instruction in the teaching part of the job.

        2. Unusually Angry Hippie

          Actually, I think he just wanted to be an ACADEMIC. Respectable, intelligent, well-dressed, so on, mainstay of the idle rich and all that. It was when confronted with the harsh reality of actually teaching(not just lecturing)that the rose-colored glasses came off and it became more about not having to go back home a failure than anything else.

        3. Reltzik

          It was more than just lack of instruction, though yes that was a very big factor. It was that he didn’t WANT to do it. He saw tutoring as a chore. Not an enjoyable (if challenging) task of helping students that he fundamentally liked, but as an exasperating task that should be kept confined to office hours and that required him to deal with students that he was frequently angry and short with.

          And when he made the realization that he wasn’t good at it, he didn’t seek out tips from his superiors, or from various tutoring centers, or from a host of youtube videos. He just whined a bit about his self-image not matching with reality. Proactive improvement is an important (and enjoyable) part of any job, and he couldn’t even rise to the level of reactive improvement.

          So, yes, he wanted to BE a TA, in the sense that he wanted to occupy the role and think of himself in that position. But he didn’t want to do TAing — he didn’t want to perform the basic and most essential functions of the job, of giving students the individual attention that the professor in an amphitheater class would not. (He might have enjoyed grading.)

        4. Reltzik

          (Tutoring, btw, was my favorite part of being a TA, and I wish more students had availed themselves of office hours. If I could have handed all my grading off to another TA and tutored their students in trade, I would have done so in a heartbeat.)

        5. thejeff

          I’m not so sure. Yeah, he’s bad at it. Yeah, we haven’t seen him make any effort to learn – though we’ve barely seen him at all outside of his interactions with our main cast. He’s certainly not a natural at it.

          And he’s a grad student with work he needs to do and studies of his own. “Well, guess I’m going to have to teach myself this entire new field on my own in my spare time” is a pretty damn big commitment. Nor could he go to his superior about it, because we know his superior is worse and cares less.

          But he’s the only one in that department who’s shown any signs of interest in it, that we know of. Penny told him it didn’t matter. The Professor doesn’t care. At least he seems to care. He even tried to learn from Sal what Danny had done differently that worked for her – even if he didn’t (try to?) understand her answer.

          In a way, he’s a good parallel for Walky’s math struggles. Both of them struggling, neither of them knowing how to improve (or, depending on your interpretation, not being willing to work to do so). Partly why I kind of hope, despite how amusing this plotline is, that Jason doesn’t really get fired. I’d like to see him overcome his problems, rather than it just be “Jason sucks as a teacher. He gets a bartender job instead. The end.”

          Note: Even if he was the best teacher in the world, sex with his student would still be beyond the pale. Nothing else excuses that.

  3. DailyBrad

    I fucking love Galasso.

    1. tim gueguen

      But not as much as Galasso loves Galasso.

      1. Emily

        Only Galasso is worthy of the greatness that is Galasso. Daresay, the Galassoness that is Galasso

        1. smartAlec105

          FOOLS! The greatness that is Gallasso’s Pizza (and Subs) is so great precisely because it can be shared and divided into various numbers depending on the cut of the pizza (or sub)!

    2. Keulen

      Galasso is the best!

      1. butts

        galASSo

      2. Sunny

        Faz is also great.

        1. Roborat

          Hmmm, don’t see it, do you have a chart you could show me?

  4. King Daniel

    fooooooooooooooooools

    1. Doctor_Who

      Title of the Galasso employee newsletter.

      Also the contents of the Galasso employee newsletter. He just types up a few pages of it every week. Different fonts, nice layout, just that word over and over, Jack Torrance style.

      Everyone has their coping methods.

      1. Reltzik

        Do I WANT to know what the April First newsletter is like?

        1. SgtWadeyWilson

          Actual newsletter, boring fonts and all.

          …also it ignites itself when held in open air for long enough to actually read it, because employees should always be prepared for a surprise, and this springtime celebration of fools invites such delightful workplace tomfoolery.

  5. JetstreamGW

    Calllllllled iiiiiiit.

  6. shadowcell

    a further expression of the greatness of Faz!

    1. space

      ALL HAIL THE MIGHTY FAZ

  7. Pablo360

    Honestly I don’t know what I was expecting

    1. Lone Wolf

      Honestly, this is pretty much exactly what I was expecting.

    2. Knuf Wons

      Honestly, I didn’t expect what I was knowing

  8. Passchendaele

    On those grounds alone, Jason became the employee of the month.

    1. Reltzik

      Are you kidding? He’s got a bow-tie. He becomes employee of the month on EVERY local business’s grounds.

      1. Wright

        Poor Ken, lost it again.

  9. Schpoonman

    Goddammit.

    1. Some1

      Timmaddog.

  10. bearfuz

    It is improbably easy to get a job at Galasso’s. In ANY universe.

    1. Doctor_Who

      High turnover, though. No railings around the shark tank.

      1. C.T Phipps

        I believe the result of Jason being hired is Sydney Yus is fired from her job, loses her tuition, and becomes a Desanto supporter to take out the pizzeria.

        1. King Daniel

          Sydney Yus was already fired from her job – Becky got Sydney’s old job after Sydney intentionally served Dina and her the wrong pizza, remember?

        2. C.T Phipps

          ….nope!

          🙂

        3. Airyu

          I found it http://www.dumbingofage.com/2016/comic/book-7/01-glower-vacuum/prattering/ horray I’m helpful!!

  11. newllend(henryvolt)

    Ha!…? Man I fucking love Galasso!

    1. Roborat

      And Pamela loves fucking Galasso!

  12. Romanticide

    “Fake it till you make it” has now being taken to new heights

  13. Kyrik Michalowski

    You are doing excellently Jason, now when your father arrives you will have a position of authority to speak from and a scary boss to answer to. Now just don’t let it go to your head and remember that you owe Walky one and you’ll be golden.

  14. Vukodlak

    Bow ties are cool

    1. Bagge

      …to bad for Jason he isn’t

    2. Deanatay

      Only the Trinity knot has more power!

  15. Stephen Bierce

    *plays the theme to “Breakfast At Wimbledon” on Galasso’s jukebox*

  16. C.T Phipps

    I wonder if Jason realizes that this pizza parlor is actually the front for a domestic terrorist cell….of NINJAS.

  17. Ivy

    What happens when galasso has to add a new name to payroll? Also, when is this website getting a better text box for mobile? This is a mess!

    1. sirconanad

      Didn’t we (by that I mean the comment section) come to the conclusion that his wife (whose name I can’t remember please don’t be angry) deals with all the important paperwork while Galasso gets to rule with an iron fist?

      So Jason has to convince Pamela (I had to look it up at the wiki otherwise I won’t be able to sleep tonight) that he is now working there.

      1. Portland

        Honestly, with how easily Becky got hired there, Pamela would be well within her rights to assume that he just got hired randomly and go from there.

  18. FLUFFYWOLF

    …I can’t believe that actually worked

    1. C.T Phipps

      I wonder if Galasso assumes he’s cheap foreign labor. They’re having difficulty in a lot of small businesses with that due to ToePresident’s stricter immigration policies.

      1. Wright

        … are YOUR toes orange and wear small ferrets as hairpieces?

        You might want to get that checked out.

        Just sayin’.

      2. HeySo

        “I wonder if Galasso assumes he’s cheap foreign labor. ”

        Well, based off Galasso’s expressions:

        “There actually IS a new, random bartender!”
        “..should I know there’s a new bartender? Did I hire a new bartender?”
        “I can’t remember hiring a new bartender. But I must have. I cannot show weakness, for I am Galasso. He is the new bartender!”

        Galasso’s mentality has always been pretty straightforward in either universe. 😛

      3. SolomonK

        ToeTUS?

    2. Bagge

      AND THAT WILL BE YOUR UNDOING!

    3. Keulen

      I can, because this is Galasso.

    4. BenRG

      I can believe that worked.

      Of course ‘worked’ to only a certain degree. Jason now has to talk Mrs G into being willing to add him to the staff rolls and she is nowhere near as disconnected from objective reality as her husband!

      1. HeySo

        I totally forgot she’s not dead in this universe. 😛

  19. Bagge

    FOOOOLS!

  20. nlips

    Now he just needs to make sure he’s actually on payroll… bow ties do a lot, but they don’t handle paperwork for you.

    1. Pidgey

      I think galasso pays in cash right? That’s why Becky was okay to work there without a bank account I believe.

      1. newllend(henryvolt)

        Becky didn’t even fill out an application to get hired, there’s no way he’s going to go that far.

  21. abysswatcher1993

    It’s easy to trick the guy that in an alternate universe tried to take over the world with a toy store.

    1. King Daniel

      In this universe, he intends to do so through pizza.

      1. James

        (and subs)

        1. Deanatay

          They make good sandwiches, too.

        2. HeySo

          I hear they have a talented new bartender.
          Can’t wait for their usual two-for-one shots night.

  22. brasca1

    If the bow tie isn’t enough just listen to him. They probably have the same accent.

  23. Delicious Taffy

    For the last few weeks, my phone has been out of high-speed data. Webcomics take an eternity to load, because the various ads, icons, and avatars take priority over the actual comic, for some baffling reason. So, I’m often stuck staring at the top 1/3rd of the strip, with most of the text hidden. At first, I thought this strip was doing the same thing, and the dialogue was all at the bottom. I had a giggle over the idea of Galasso sweating Jason without saying a word and then accepting him, but figured there was more to it.

    All of this to say, I’m actually enjoying this strip more than I would have if my data speeds didn’t suck.

    1. Delicious Taffy

      This is out of the blue, but I’ve written myself into a corner. If I could get some help for a very specific scenario, I’d probably name a character after the saint responsible.

      1. JoeCovenant

        What’s the problem…?

      2. Delicious Taffy

        Right, sorry. Probably helps to actually explain.

        So, Character A and Character B are dating, have been for a while. A is less and less into intimacy, lately, while B is wanting more than usual. B is starting to feel unattractive because of it, and wonders if A’s lack of interest is due to B’s recent hard times causing A to see B as less respectable. A is actually just sort of not feeling it for no readily apparent reason, but does feel like B moves just a little too quickly on the odd occasion where they do get intimate. Both characters are becoming frustrated with the situation, but haven’t quite figured out how they want to voice that frustration.

        The key thing I’m after here is proper communication. This is a superhero comedy story, so misunderstandings are sort of the norm, but I actually loathe poor communication in fiction, especially if it’s over something that could be solved in like 6 words. I’m trying to figure out how to get these characters to a conclusion where both fully understand each other, don’t have lingering suspicions or doubts, and don’t break up over it. I’m trying to defy the genre norms that are lazily slapped onto every American comedy, because they annoy me. I want to do better than that.

        1. nlips

          This is an opportunity for Drama. The standard plot is miscommunication creates misunderstanding, which creates anger, which creates an inappropriate response. Things get worse. Readers wonder if things will ever get better.

          Then the characters have a realization. Maybe talking with a friend, maybe seeing other people interact, maybe finding an old love letter… they realize what went wrong.

          They return to their lover and pour out their heart. Communication flows fast and forgiveness is swift. (unless you want to drag it out longer.)

        2. Delicious Taffy

          That is exactly the opposite of what I’m trying to do. I could write that in ten minutes, and then post it to FanFiction under “Hurt/Comfort”. The standard plot is bullshit.

        3. Inahc

          good 🙂 that stuff frustrates me too.

          hmm… I know nothing about writing, personally, but what would Steven do in such a situation? what would Connie do?

          also might be worth watching the episodes where Garnet and Pearl are not on good terms, see if any ideas fall out of how they handled that? I really liked the way the writers actually let things be not-okay for a while instead of rushing things.

        4. Inahc

          and from personal experience of kinda similar issues… it takes a *lot* of talking, and seeing the results of those talks, and talking some more, and it really is hard to find the words to communicate such things, especially when you don’t fully understand them yourself.

        5. Delicious Taffy

          Writing advice that includes “Watch more Steven Universe” is always welcome.

        6. Inahc

          🙂

        7. Roborat

          Just spitballing here, and I don’t know the characters, of course, but have you considered setting up a drunken confessional heart to heart between the two?

        8. JoeCovenant

          I don’t see any quick and easy answer to this that would not take up multiple pages. My initial reaction is forget it’s a comedy.
          Maybe even write it using different character names to try and take you out of their voice and mindset.
          Write it as a stand up argument, which might not resolve itself quite so quickly as the reader may expect from a comedic piece… that can come later…
          (With hilarious results!)

    2. ashely

      root your phone and install adblock 😀 😀 😀

      1. ashely

        of course, if you go this route be sure to support willis through other means (buying merch etc.)

      2. Inahc

        you, uh, don’t need to root your phone to do that. just install firefox. a few years ago, the chrome support forums actually recommended this for people having problems with malicious ads >.<

        …and now I see that android chrome got its own adblocker recently. https://www.androidcentral.com/how-google-chromes-new-ad-blocker-works

  24. Peruhain

    I’m betting Jason’s visa allows him to TA at IU, but not tend bar at Galasso’s.

    1. JessWitt

      Hmm, could this end up turning into an undocumented worker subplot?

    2. Pat

      Galasso does not require these things.

      (It came up with Becky.)

    3. HeySo

      It’s a student visa, not a work visa, so he should be fine so long as he remains enrolled.

  25. cbwroses

    Ha! Asked and answered! He is still there mixing drinks.

  26. BenRG

    It’s always fun watching Galasso’s limited connection with reality at work!

  27. Warcodered

    I can not deny that logic.

  28. PB

    Called it.

  29. Danni

    red bowties equal employed
    I GUESS

  30. JepMZ

    WHERE IS THE MIKE AND RUTH INTERACTION????

    1. sirconanad

      We’ll go back to them in an hour of comic time, so 4 weeks for us. Probably. Maybe.

      1. JepMZ

        Man, I also wanted to see what Ethan was going to say to Joyce as well, in front of mike

    2. BenRG

      RUTH: “Mike, stop being an ass.”

      MIKE: “No.”

      RUTH: “Cool. Seeya!”

  31. Abel Undercity

    “You have a job?”
    “Why shouldn’t I have a job? I’d be brilliant at having a job.”
    “You don’t have a job.”

  32. Dana

    Galasso so often says and thinks such crazy things that in cases like this where he has such a firm handle on the truth I feel like I should be concerned somehow.

    1. BenRG

      Galasso depends on his wife, Pamela, to be his reality anchor (as well as to think about things he seems unable to think about… or even grasp). She’s the one that Jason has to impress and something tells me that it won’t be easy.

  33. Elsendor

    god i love galasso lmao

  34. WikiDreamer

    …dat bow tie tho

  35. meerkat

    Oh my god I laughed so hard. That was the best pay off for such a delayed joke ever.

    1. Cmd1095

      Same here, had a literal lol moment

  36. PSadlon

    Forget contagious, Walky logic id downright virulent.

    1. Reltzik

      …. I KNOW you meant “is”, but I can’t help feeling that “id” was a bigger factor.

      1. PSadlon

        A regular monster from the id at that.

        1. Bathymetheus

          Wow! Forbidden Planet reference. Not many people know that one these days. 1956, IIRC.

  37. Reltzik

    Yes, Jason, your boss IS a tyranical, overbearing overlord with lots of abstract vision coupled and zero administrative skills or customer service aptitude. But don’t worry, you can quit being a TA and work for Galasso instead.

    (I’m kidding. All the profs I TAed for were lovely people who cared about the work I did. But I can’t help wondering how representative that actually was.)

  38. Cmd1095

    Literally laughed out loud at this one, nice setup and execution Willis, I applaud your comedic mastery

  39. Mr. Anderson

    Jason is the second-in-command Galasso always wanted Ethan to be in Shortpacked.

  40. Arianod

    “If he didn’t before, he does now.

  41. anone

    bow ties are cool.

    this plotline is so fucking ridiculous and i love it.

  42. Mr. Random

    Galasso is seriously one of my favorite ‘zany’ characters. He just commits.

  43. desolation0

    I wonder if Sal was thinking that same way. “Of course he belongs in here, look at that bow tie!”

  44. Meagan

    I still don’t like how Jason just assumed he was fired without actually hearing form anyone at the university. Why would they take the other TA’s word for it that he was sexing a student? There was not investigation and Sal’s not gonna say anything.

    1. JoeCovenant

      Yeah… I’m with you on that one.

  45. Tealjoy Grove

    I need to invest in bowties

Leave a Reply to C.T Phipps Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

*

*

*

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.