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Galasso’s Pizza (and Subs)
Posted on February 4, 2011 by David M Willis
The chef hat was suggested by one of the AnimeFest folks back in September.  I think it makes him 83% funnier.

155 thoughts on “Galasso’s Pizza (and Subs)”

  1. Jen Aside

    I WANT TO GO HERE.

    Make it so, Willis! XD Oh, wait, that would be harder to do than making Dina hats, I guess…

    1. Cassidy

      ill take 400 Galasso pizzas. (you should make Galasso pizza and sub advertisement stickers.)

      1. ilvos

        Yesssss yesyesyes!

      2. Skye

        I second this motion!

      3. Schornforce

        I agree wholeheartedly!

        1. David Herbert

          I agree with the agreements.

        2. Whee

          I agree with the agreements about agreeing by wholeheartedly agreeing.

        3. Joebo

          agreed.

        4. Jabberwocky

          Agreed!

      4. SpiffytheCreative

        I am very much in agreement with this prospect as well.

      5. Jenny Creed

        And where would the pizzas go? I’m thinking in your
        FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE!

    2. CyberSkull

      I could really go for a pizza (or a sub) right now. Or anytime, really.

    3. Jen Aside

      Now I’m waiting for McAwesome’s Parasailing and Subs across the street…

    4. Jack Faire

      It’s a hell yes orgy.

  2. arjay2813

    Joe he only talks like that ’cause he’s awesome.

    poor Mother Bear’s

  3. Mkvenner

    this actually seems like a step down for Galasso.

    1. mnk

      ALL PART OF GALASSO’S GLORIOUS PLAN

    2. agentksilver

      WITH TOYS AND PIZZA HE WILL COME TO DOMINATE THE MARKET OF THE YOUTH. THEY WILL DO HIS BIDDING, THEY WILL MARCH IN HIS LOCKSTEP WHEN THEY COME TO POWER. GALASSO IS PATIENT. WHEN THE TIME IS RIGHT HE WILL STEP OUT FROM BEHIND THE SHADOWS AND REVEAL HIMSELF AS THE TRUE POWER ON EARTH.

      1. Dhund

        My theory is that all the Galasso’s in the Walky Multiverses are working together. Each will dominate a specific niche in their designated reality. Then, when the time comes, they will collapse all the possibilities into one, one where GALASSO HAS COMPLETE CONTROL.

        1. Soundbucket

          Or maybe THEY ARE ALL THE SAME GALASSO!!!!

        2. Matt

          No, no. Mike is the multiversal singularity, a cauldron of hate incarnated as a man.

          Galasso is just… Well, Galasso is Galasso.

        3. ilvos01

          No… Galasso is a periferie, observing the Mikeularity and skating off of his inter-dimensional coattails to subtly communicate with his similarly inspired doppelgangers.

        4. Zem

          When all the Galassos merge into one supreme being, Mike will be that one unpleasable customer in every toy shop and pizza parlor.

        5. agentksilver

          @Zem FOOL! GALASSO WORKS NOT TO PLEASE MIKE. HE HAS BEEN BROUGHT UNDER CONTROL OF GALASSO BY USE OF A STEADY PAYCHECK. GAINING THE USE OF MIKE WAS A CRUCIAL STEP IN GALASSO’S ULTIMATE PLAN.

        6. SonicBlueRanger

          I believe Galasso is a Multiversal Singularity and is jumping from Universe to universe trying to take over the Multiverse.

        7. Jay Carr

          Actually, that would make a fantastic novel and/or movie. Someone should go write it…

        8. Jillian

          No no no no. The two Galasso’s will have an epic fight to the death for control!

        9. Kernanator

          There can only be one!

    3. Bill M.

      Really? He goes from a stranglehold over children for his money to a stranglehold over hungry people for his money. There are more hungry people than children, especially near colleges.

  4. Chaun

    What? Is Conquest going to be a waitress or something?

    1. Rognik

      Ugh. I can see the set-up for that one.

      “Prepare for my Conquest!”
      “Hi, I’m Conquest and I’ll be your waitress…”

      1. Lord Harlock

        Maybe just maybe in that universe, I exist as Conquest’s boyfriend and Glasso’s heir. I’ll go check my alternate reality version of myself chart. . . Nope, I’m still stuck in my rut in that universe as well. Sigh.

        1. xainoforgv

          wait a second conquestxjoe. joe becoming glasso’s heir and using his leet knowledge to make giant fear inspiring giant robots … that ALSO MAKE PIZZA!!!!!! i fear for this world

        2. Jack

          (and subs)

      2. MM

        I’m sort of envisioning Joe getting the punchline on that one.

  5. Cassidy

    did anyone else read the wall?

    “Mother bears Crumbled under Galasso’s Iron…”

    1. Rowen Morland

      Glasso remains formidible. I’ve always wondered about the extent of his powers.

    2. Andrew Davis

      That made me smile. This whole comic makes me smile, I feel like its happening where I am, and its awesome.

    3. Pluto is Sad

      Iron what?
      Iron Fist?
      Iron clad CPRs
      No, pray let it not be,
      Iron army of hand cannon wielding hamsters?

  6. thatgirlwiththeglasses

    IT’S GALASSO!

    1. Dhund

      A WILD GALASSO APPEARS!

      FIGHT ITEM
      PKMN RUN

      1. Dedlok

        FIGHT ITEM
        PKMN >RUN

        1. Malph

          WILD GALASSO’S SHADOW TAG PREVENTS DEDLOK FROM FLEEING.

        2. Soundbucket

          >FIGHT ITEM
          PKMN RUN

          50 MCNUGGETS
          SUMMON ULTRACAR
          >WITH HIS PENIS
          JOYCE’S POWER OF LOVE

        3. David Herbert

          You forgot FAAACE!

        4. Pagannerd

          …IN ORDER TO LEARN

          I GIVE IT TO YOU.

          SOUNDBUCKET LEARNS I GIVE IT TO YOU.

  7. agentksilver

    I am in love with this. I want to work here. I want him to be my boss and I want to listen to this every single day. God I love Galasso.

  8. Undrave

    He is 83% funnier. Man you need to up your celebrity status until some local place creates an actual Galasso Pizza for their menu.

    So folks of the comment page what would go on a Galasso pizza? Probably bacon has it is the EMPEROR OF MEAT. Then probably something unusual to ASSAULT YOUR TASTEBUDS IN A SURPRISE AMBUSH!

    1. Bo Lindbergh

      Angus-and-lutfisk pizza? I remain doubtful.

      1. Undrave

        Huh… I was Dina this morning and now I’m Ethan o.o

  9. Rognik

    Here’s the question I’ve been wondering the whole week long: When going on a date with a chaperone, what do the rules of etiquette say about paying? Joe would probably pay for himself and Joyce if it was just the two of them, but he’d be reluctant to pay for Mike. I don’t know if Joyce promised to pay him (outside of punching freedom). And would he pay himself when there are two chumps he can exploit?

  10. Ragnal

    Nice to see Galasso hasn’t changed at all…pizza store aside…

  11. Sporkaganza

    This strip is YES.

  12. fishamaphone

    Willis, you’re wrong!

    84.6%. I calculated.

  13. Alice Macher

    Imagine the following exchange:

    Once everyone’s seated, Joyce is about to order when Galasso points at Joe and says, “You! You will sire an heir upon my daughter.”

    Joe says, “Um…sorry, but I’m on a date (sort of) with this woman here…”

    “Hmph! Fine. Then you,” Galasso says, rounding on Mike, “will provide me with child.”

    “I provided your mom with child. For a nickel.”

    “FOOL!” says Galasso. “My mother already has an heir. You are of no use to me. Thus, it is you,” he points to Joyce, “who must mount my daughter and produce an heir worthy of Galasso!”

    Joyce turns deep pink and rushes out the door.

    “Hmm,” says Mike to Joe, “do I punch him in the face for driving her away before I got paid, or you for taking her here in the first place?”

    1. Dedlok

      Personally I think he will choose Joyce before Mike. Not for any specific reason other than his ignorance of gender differences.

      Plus I think it would be funnier (and better) with Joyce in the middle. 😀

    2. goatman95111

      You forgot the part where Walky, Sal, Dina, and Amber jump out from the storefront wielding compound bows, AKs, and RPGs shouting “Wolverines!”

      And the calculus professor is shouting “Avenge me!” from behind a chain link fence.

  14. Abjuron

    Soon, SOON, Willis will unfurl his dark plan of quitting webcomicing altogether. Only doling out updates on the Walkyverse when you buy a CPR at his chain of Shortpacked! Toy Stores.

    His hand-crafted Dumbiverse experience will DOMINATE your eyeballs, ONLY once you have purchased at least $100 of Galasso’s Pizza’s (and subs).

    Then, and only then, shall his faithful armies SPREAD over the surface of this world, and the name of DAVID WILLIS shall be exalted on HIGH!!!

  15. Dahlia

    Galasso!!!!!!!!

    Excellent.

  16. Joebo

    I’m kinda sad that he’s not a dean, but this is almost as good. And yes, the chef’s hat makes him considerably funnier in this instance.

    1. Joebo

      (and subs)

      …with my penis.

    2. friartuck

      Nah, Big Boss or Mrs. Walkerton would make better deans. Galasso just fits better in a delightfully non-essential role.

      1. Joebo

        We’ve already seen Mrs. Walkerton, and she’s very not deany.

  17. Kater

    Willis,
    You make my days better. Your comics are seriously the best thing every.
    Thank you

  18. zuche

    Joe, Joyce is not ready for a dom/(sub) relationship.

    1. George

      I would’ve thought that would be Mike’s thing.

    2. agentksilver

      GALASSO IS UNAWARE OF THIS FOOD ITEM KNOWN AS DOM, BUT YOU FIND IT IS INFERIOR TO GALASSO’S SUBS (and pizzas) AND ULTIMATELY PATRONIZE GALASSO’S RESTAURANT, THUS ALLOWING GALASSO TO CRUSH THIS “DOM” WITH HIS IRON FIST AS EASILY AS HE CAN CRUSH THIS — CRUSH THIS…

      1. Animaniac

        *hands Galasso a glass*

        1. Lesharo

          Paper towels and the first aid kit, quick!

  19. Dierna

    Ah… so it’s one of those wakky theme places where the waiters yell at you (like that one in Chicago)?

  20. TheSoundDefense

    YES

  21. Azumango

    Come oooooon, FAZ!

  22. iggzy

    “Dark Pizza Armies” clenched this as the best use of Galasso possible

  23. SamUI

    Galasso is like Batman. Instant comedy!

  24. Ryune

    This put a big smile on my face.

    The smile immediately disappeared when I realized that it meant an imminent Faz.

  25. Lillian

    I want to go to this restaurant. I want to go to this restaurant and be insulted by the owner in his silly hat. Galasso’s Pizza (and Subs) needs to exist.

  26. PThrill

    Holy Crap! Definitely my favorite DoA strip so far! Long live Galasso!

  27. Jillian

    Love the newspaper in the background of the last panel. > That hat.

  28. Jay Carr

    I think Galasso needs to give Mike beer. We haven’t seen Mike drunk yet in this ‘verse. And I think now would be an amazingly interesting time for him to find it…

    1. Gianni

      It’s a shame Mike is (I’m assuming) under 21

  29. Shift

    Dark Pizza Armies… Does that mean like Pizza Boys and chefs who are soldiers, or actual Soldiers comprised entirely of Pizza?

    Also, in the fast Multiverse of Walky’s brain, is there any version of Glasso, who’s actually a powerful dictator capable of taking over the world, instead of a retail/restaurant owner with delusions of grandeur?

    1. Joebo

      In a universe where all things are possible… probably not. Though there is one where he is a Cowboy.

      1. Shift

        Cowboy or Saloon owner intent on Global Domination through his army of old western crotchety miners?

    2. Undrave

      In the Mirror Universe he is a dictator, but he wishes he could go back to the simple life of a toy store owner.

      He also has a goatee.

  30. XRL

    oh god yes. Galasso working as the owner of a pizza resteraunt.

    It fits so well!

  31. wnderjif

    i am now content. cause i would so work there.

  32. Acher4

    OH.MY.GOD.
    It’s Galasso!!!

    *takes pictures

  33. Osaru Sensei

    I’d like to have one WORLD DOMINATION Pizza with extra everything, please 😛

    1. Osaru Sensei

      Yay, Billie!

  34. MercyDispensorMan

    Mike will give your mom extra sausage for a nickel.

  35. ADHadh

    Scary thought: what if Faz works there as well?
    I wouldn’t want him anywhere near my food.

    1. ADHadh

      Oh hey, Monkey Master. I am cool with that.

      1. Cassidy

        O NO MY BOWTIE, im cool with that.

  36. Pingback: Tweets that mention Dumbing of Age - Galasso’s Pizza (and Subs) -- Topsy.com

  37. RayBarrington

    Merging everything – Galasso’s Pizza (and subs) will be the DOOM for your FAAAAAAAAAAACE!

    1. Joebo

      you forgot one — with his penis.

  38. Bryn

    I’m in stitches, this really made me laugh! The hat makes him ONE HUNDRED and 83% funnier!
    I think Ninja Rick will work here, he could cut pizzas (and subs) with his sword. Unless he’s a PIRATE in this universe!

    1. Gianni

      Pirates can still have swords

  39. Pulse5

    I reckon Ninja Rick will be the one that cuts the pizza, off screen.

    1. Jabberwocky

      With BURNING JUSTICE.

      1. Jimmy Suzuki

        With justice-Chan!

    2. Azumango

      With his penis.

      ( I am sincerely sorry)

      1. Azumango

        Ethan? ETHAN? EEEEEEEETTTTTTTTTHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAANNNNNN!!!!!!!!

        (Ok maybe Monkey Master is cool too, but still)

  40. Grey Hare

    So this is where Pizza the Hutt came from… O_o

  41. ziggy78eog

    For some reason, this suits him better than the toy store.

  42. Varmint

    He demands total and unswerving obedience to his master plan, but breadsticks come free when you buy two medium one-topping pizzas. Tough, but fair.

  43. Richie9999

    I didn’t realize until just now how much I’ve missed Galasso. Its good to have him back.

  44. Jeff

    No Nick’s, think how joyce will freak out at sink the biz, plus mike can get drunk and be nice

  45. Socks

    all i can say is, YES! XD

    1. Socks

      OH GOD DAMNIT. my avatar changed pictures, i want my joyce avi back ;___;

  46. stealthwise

    YEAH! The opening panel made me laugh out loud, thanks for that.

  47. Jabberwocky

    This is the most amazing thing ever

  48. JediAutobot

    Yay! All hail our Mighty Pepporoni Master!

  49. Gianni

    Love the newspaper in the last panel. It’s good to see that even in a different universe, some things remain undeniably the same.

  50. Da Teach

    I thought it was Mother Bears for pizza…Alas I am old…

  51. Zakrael

    I burst into incontrollable giggles upon seeing the first panel. These only amplified as I read onwards.

    Bravo, Willis. Bravo.

  52. Gianni

    So is Galasso like Batman in that he can make anything funny?

    1. George

      That is part of Galasso’s plan, yes. Galasso’s plan has many parts. Some are so complex, he has yet to realize they are part of his plan.

      1. George

        Dammit, I’m Danny again. I liked Leslie. Ah well.

  53. Heather

    Mmmmm. Pizza.

  54. BriGuy

    Joe torn between Joyce and Conquest in 4, 3, 2…

    1. Gianni

      It’ll have to be a longer count… we’ve got the weekend to account for!

      1. Jabberwocky

        You just have to count really, really slowly.

  55. Brent

    “YES!”

    Is what I shouted out-loud when I read the first line of today’s comic in the middle of the quiet office setting where I work.

    The next thing I hissed quietly to myself:

    “Damn you Willissssss…”

  56. Mud

    This comic was missing something. Now it is not. Well done Willis, well done.

  57. CyberBlade507

    It’s always nice to see references to my college, especially when it’s a good pizza joint.

  58. Matt of Steel

    All that chef’s hat is missing is Galactus horns on the side.

  59. friartuck

    So, guessing at the staff: Connie and Faz would make great wait staff, Beef is the ideal shape for a chef, and every fiber of my being wants Mike to pick up an application on his way out the door.

    1. Gianni

      I am for all these things.

  60. Chrisby

    It makes me sad that this Galasso probably won’t get locked up in a cage by his mutinous employees.

  61. Alechsa

    Waiting to see if Conquest, Faz, or Rick show up first…. also seconding the vote that Mike needs to get drunk.

  62. OhNoUDiNt

    I expect a soup nazi comment from Galasso soon. “No pizza (or subs) for you! Get out!”

  63. ArchSchnitz

    This strip gets better all the time.

  64. Al the Mighty

    This reminds me of “No soup for you!”

  65. Kelson

    I think this Galasso has visited our own reality, based on this truck I saw at Comic-Con last summer: (Photo)

    1. Kelsey

      That picture is awesome.

  66. Jack

    Should it not be Galasso’s Pizza (and Subjugation)?

  67. Zapulous

    Glasso’s so good at speaking that you can HEAR the parenthesis

    1. Kelsey

      That takes some mad skills right there.

  68. Maki P

    Galasso owns a Pizza Place? What a strange world is this

  69. Menachem Schmuel

    Galasso is in B-Town!

    MUST GO HUNTING

  70. Kelsey

    That chef hat DOES make him funnier. I didn’t even think that was possible.

  71. Plasma Mongoose

    I wouldn’t want to work for Galasso thou.

  72. Harry_Cox

    Galasso can never control Mike. One of two things may happen:

    He’ll have Galasso’s mom. For a nickel.
    …with his penis.
    Or he’ll punch him in the faaaaaaaaaace!

  73. Lis

    so are all the shortpacked dumbversers gonna end up working for Galasso?

  74. Revan

    If something like this ever existed, the owners of Pizza Hut and Dominoes would wet themselves in fear.

  75. BD

    Anyone remember Megas XLR? I can’t help but imagine Galasso as having Warmaster Gorrath’s voice (Clancy Brown).

  76. Uncle Rylon

    I think your off by a few percentage points. I’m think it’s more like 86-89% funnier.

  77. Orion Fury

    So I wonder what happened to Papa Bruin.

    1. David

      Nothing, in this universe, since it wasn’t called that here.

      1. Orion Fury

        That kinda makes me sad, I would of liked to have seen the story as how Glasso took it over.

        1. David

          Galasso took over Mother Bear’s Pizza in Dumbing of Age, not Papa Bruin’s. That is what I mean by “it is not called that here.”

        2. Orion Fury

          Oh, can we have that story sometime then? Though it kinda feels like I might be the only one.

  78. ZORK

    OH MY GOD WILLIS YOU’RE KILLING ME HERE.

    I already got a good laugh out of the strips so far, but Galasso working in a pizza joint is the icing on the cake.

    Wonderful, just wonderful.

  79. ShadowDJ

    So…in one universe, eh’s the manager of a toy store…and in this universe, he’s the owner of a pizzaria…huh.

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