To be clear, you ARE talking about the virus, and not “drinking too much Mexican beer”? Because, I mean: Waking up next to a guy you’ve never met before and only vaguely recall getting a passing glimpse of before passing out, with a pounding headache, in a completely unfamiliar place..
Look, I’m just saying that you can’t blame everything on the pandemic and/or quarantine. At some point, you gotta give in and acknowledge that you may have a drinking problem.
No, just that you have to differentiate between Coronas. One changes your life and makes you sick, the other is a “Mexican” beer brewed in St. Louis MO.
This is exactly how all those Chick Tracts Joyce grew up reading end, when the person doesn’t accept Jesus and then dies. They wake up and are greeted by Faz.
If she prays now, a voice will tell her to yell for help just as someone walks past. Might help if she manages to convert Faz; Chick doesn’t think you count as a Christian unless you’ve converted someone.
I used to pick those things up when people left them in the grocery store, but only to see if I could find the famous Dungeons and Dragons one. I’ve always wanted one, but I’ll be damned (yukyuk) if I’ll give a cent to the people who publish those things.
Norah
I used to find them in phone booths in the 1980s. Yes, I’m old.
Mollyscribbles
I came across a site that snarked ’em years ago and ended up browsing the Chick website. They’ve actually got all of them online. It’s kinda absurd how many things he’s against. Harry Potter. Halloween costumes. Same-sex couples. Evolution. Any religion except very specific variations of Christianity. Any translation of the Bible except King James. Santa.
Regalli
All rock music, too! Even Christian rock is just a trick of the devil’s to lure you into his wicked, wicked grasp!
His beliefs about Catholicism, Judaism, and Islam are just so wrong as to be bafflingly offensive, until and unless you operate under the specific conspiracy theorist mindset that, since they’re ALL tools of Satan, they are of course all in cahoots. (Dude really needed to watch The Thing, just saying. He wouldn’t, of course, but it would have added verisimilitude to his abominably offensive screeds.)
Mollyscribbles
The only positive he saw in Trick-or-Treating was the fact that it provided a way to hand out tracts, because no good Christian child would ever do such a thing.
MaximumZero
“His beliefs about *EVERYTHING* are just so wrong as to be bafflingly offensive”
There, fixed that for you.
thejeff
So bafflingly offensive that I often wonder if they managed to do more good than harm. I can’t imagine how they’d convert anyone who isn’t already in that cult mentality. They read like a parody.
Might be good for keeping the faithful from straying, but they leave them around places like they expect people to read them and suddenly see the light.
King Daniel
Any chance you’d know what this site you mention is, if it’s still around? Could use a laugh.
The best thing about Jack Chick is that we can talk about him in the past tense. He died in 2016, and I have it on good authority that he is currently enjoying the tender ministrations of Zagaghoth, Demon Prince of Excruciatingly Painful Colonic Insertions.
I used to see those all the time when I was in New York. They were ludicrous, but hey, they’re HIS opinion, and he’s entitled to it, right? Up to the one I read where he retold the parable of the Prodigal Son. He edited it, taking out the “Good Son’s” rebellion and rant, and made it seem like the “Hood Son” was forthright behind his Father’s decision! Never looked at another one since!
She was nice to him. And it’s hard to say whether or not Faz is actually ON BOARD with this plan, he can’t say no and if Blaine already knows he’s there then the consequences of him not helping are probably not good. (Yuri may or may not know as well and is, at best, deeply unsupportive of Faz; Blaine has never actually gone to jail so why should Faz expect this time will be different?)
Sirksome
I’m wondering this too. He has to have some idea of this being wrong right? He saw Blaine hold Walky and Joyce hostage even if he didn’t witness any direct threats. I’m wondering how muc h of his actions are from fear or not.
thejeff
He was there for the kidnappings. He knew what they did and possibly participated. And if he wanted to do something to stop it, all he had to do was not free Blaine. Without Faz doing that, this would all have been over.
Given that Blaine was tied up and blindfolded, it would have been easy to not free him without being obvious about it. Blaine not only wasn’t a direct threat, but hard to even paint as an indirect one. Make a bit of noise, time the rescue attempt differently and he could even say he’d tried.
Faz has shown no signs of not being on board, though it still remains possible. More possible that Joyce is able to persuade him otherwise, I think.
To the extent he might be coerced, I’d say it’s less fear as we traditionally think about it and more the abused kid trying desperately to win the abuser’s approval, which is slightly different.
lightsabermario
The thing about Faz, which may end up in Joyce’s favor, is that he’s on no one’s side except Faz’s. He’s a Starscream, dutifully sycophantic until it’s clear it’s not in his best interest to be so. Faz may see that the writing is on the wall for Blaine, and free Joyce so he appears to be the hero of the day.
Kinoko
Interesting. I read Faz as more of a (socially awkward and ego-driven) kid who is trying desperately to please his known abuser of a father. I wouldn’t assume he’s really stopped to think about whether this is “wrong” if Blaine’s told him that it’s good and/or necessary.
Any consideration for wrongdoing is probably forthcoming. I agree that since Joyce has been kind of him in the past, and people seem to rarely to be kind to Faz, he’ll at least be tempted to free her. He still might not, but I don’t see him as a mastermind.
Zaxares
That’s my reading of Faz too. He’s a socially awkward/inept kid who desperately seeks approval and acceptance, but his own awkward/creepy behaviour alienates the very people he wanted to be accepted by, and his parental figures are either distant (his mom) or abusive (Blaine), and so he’s developed the typical mindset of abused kids where he’ll do just about anything to please his abusive parents. If left alone on this trajectory, he’ll probably grow up to be incel one day.
So far, Joyce is one of the few people who’s actually interacted with him as a person, not merely told him to go away or ignored him. We don’t know if Faz actually saw Joyce as one of the kidnappees. He might have been OK with dumbly following along with what Blaine was doing (see “desperately seeking approval” above), but that might change now that he realizes Joyce is the one in danger.
BBCC
I think a heel face turn is coming (he did pause when AG said she was Amber) but yeah, he might very well be on the hook for this.
192 thoughts on “Huh”
Ana Chronistic
This feels like every day waking up in the Age of the Corona
clif
You wake up and there is Faz? Sounds like you’re past the point of self quarantining.
To be fair, if I woke up to Fax talking, I’d scream too.
HeySo
To be clear, you ARE talking about the virus, and not “drinking too much Mexican beer”? Because, I mean: Waking up next to a guy you’ve never met before and only vaguely recall getting a passing glimpse of before passing out, with a pounding headache, in a completely unfamiliar place..
Look, I’m just saying that you can’t blame everything on the pandemic and/or quarantine. At some point, you gotta give in and acknowledge that you may have a drinking problem.
clif
So let’s see if I’m following this. If everyone gives up drinking Mexican beer, the pandemic will to away?
clif
Go away. (Rented fingers).
Opus the Poet
No, just that you have to differentiate between Coronas. One changes your life and makes you sick, the other is a “Mexican” beer brewed in St. Louis MO.
Doctor_Who
This is exactly how all those Chick Tracts Joyce grew up reading end, when the person doesn’t accept Jesus and then dies. They wake up and are greeted by Faz.
Regalli
It definitely indicates that you’re in for eternal punishment, that’s for sure.
clif
And if it isn’t eternal, it will just seem like it.
Mollyscribbles
If she prays now, a voice will tell her to yell for help just as someone walks past. Might help if she manages to convert Faz; Chick doesn’t think you count as a Christian unless you’ve converted someone.
Doctor_Who
Really? Didn’t know that.
I used to pick those things up when people left them in the grocery store, but only to see if I could find the famous Dungeons and Dragons one. I’ve always wanted one, but I’ll be damned (yukyuk) if I’ll give a cent to the people who publish those things.
Norah
I used to find them in phone booths in the 1980s. Yes, I’m old.
Mollyscribbles
I came across a site that snarked ’em years ago and ended up browsing the Chick website. They’ve actually got all of them online. It’s kinda absurd how many things he’s against. Harry Potter. Halloween costumes. Same-sex couples. Evolution. Any religion except very specific variations of Christianity. Any translation of the Bible except King James. Santa.
Regalli
All rock music, too! Even Christian rock is just a trick of the devil’s to lure you into his wicked, wicked grasp!
His beliefs about Catholicism, Judaism, and Islam are just so wrong as to be bafflingly offensive, until and unless you operate under the specific conspiracy theorist mindset that, since they’re ALL tools of Satan, they are of course all in cahoots. (Dude really needed to watch The Thing, just saying. He wouldn’t, of course, but it would have added verisimilitude to his abominably offensive screeds.)
Mollyscribbles
The only positive he saw in Trick-or-Treating was the fact that it provided a way to hand out tracts, because no good Christian child would ever do such a thing.
MaximumZero
“His beliefs about *EVERYTHING* are just so wrong as to be bafflingly offensive”
There, fixed that for you.
thejeff
So bafflingly offensive that I often wonder if they managed to do more good than harm. I can’t imagine how they’d convert anyone who isn’t already in that cult mentality. They read like a parody.
Might be good for keeping the faithful from straying, but they leave them around places like they expect people to read them and suddenly see the light.
King Daniel
Any chance you’d know what this site you mention is, if it’s still around? Could use a laugh.
Mollyscribbles
Ok, site’s not currently up, but found it on archive.org: https://web.archive.org/web/20120210172739/http://enterthejabberwock.com/category/dissections/jack-chick/
Mollyscribbles
You can read Dark Dungeons online, if you want: https://chick.com/products/tract?stk=46&ue=d
SuperFroakie82
So what happens if your DM isn’t waiting to accept you into a literal cult?
Mollyscribbles
Dunno, keep looking? The idea of being able to do real magic is appealing.
Owlmirror
So a few years ago, someone asked Jack Chick for the rights to make a movie of the D&D tract . . . and they were granted, I think for free.
Result: Dark Dungeons, The Movie . . . !!1!
R P G!
Chris
I haven’t actually seen the movie, but I hear that they made it comic gold simply by playing everything in the tract absolutely straight.
Keulen
The D&D tract is hilarious. So many fundie Christians think that’s what D&D is like, when it’s actually much more like this.
Doctor_Who
Ah, the Dead Alewives sketch. A true classic. In the early days of the internet, I had this version downloaded.
Fun fact, Dan Harmon of Community fame wrote that.
Needfuldoer
Oh wow, I haven’t seen that since Newgrounds’s heyday!
Roborat
Huh, I was expecting a link to Darths and Droids.
Captain Oblivious
Aw c’mon. Some pf the tracts aren’t THAT bad. There’s always Sithrak:
https://topatoco.com/collections/oglaf/products/og-sithraktracts
Ryek Hvek
Handing out Sithrak tracts to trick-or-treaters – now that’s entertainment
Abel Undercity
Every great once in a while I’d find one on a bus seat. I’d spend the rest of the ride annotating it, and leave it for the next person.
abacuswizard
“Chick doesn’t think you count as a Christian unless you’ve converted someone”
Sounds like a pyramid scheme to me.
Rabid Rabbit
Out of context, it reads like an anti-drinking one. What? Those are clearly drunk bubbles. This is where you’ll end up if you sneak liquor, kids!
Bicycle Bill
No, those are ‘woozles’, not ‘boozles’.
Doom Shepherd
The best thing about Jack Chick is that we can talk about him in the past tense. He died in 2016, and I have it on good authority that he is currently enjoying the tender ministrations of Zagaghoth, Demon Prince of Excruciatingly Painful Colonic Insertions.
Ed Rhodes
I used to see those all the time when I was in New York. They were ludicrous, but hey, they’re HIS opinion, and he’s entitled to it, right? Up to the one I read where he retold the parable of the Prodigal Son. He edited it, taking out the “Good Son’s” rebellion and rant, and made it seem like the “Hood Son” was forthright behind his Father’s decision! Never looked at another one since!
Rabid Rabbit
I know it’s a typo, but now I’m imagining the Prodigal Son, as drawn by Jack Chick, taking place in da hood.
Regalli
I mean, fair.
Regalli
Also those are some very well-drawn Joyce In Active Panic Attack faces. They are awful, but well-done. I give you this DAMN YOU WILLIS as praise.
Cyrus
I thought those were Joyce Suddenly Waking Up After Having Been Choked Into Unconsciousness faces, but I suppose the differences are subtle.
DSL
One is a variation upon the other.
BBCC
Faz, that’s not gonna make her stop panicking.
Kyrik Michalowski
Does he even care whether it makes her panic or not? He’s not exactly on her side at the moment, he’s working for Blaine.
Regalli
She was nice to him. And it’s hard to say whether or not Faz is actually ON BOARD with this plan, he can’t say no and if Blaine already knows he’s there then the consequences of him not helping are probably not good. (Yuri may or may not know as well and is, at best, deeply unsupportive of Faz; Blaine has never actually gone to jail so why should Faz expect this time will be different?)
Sirksome
I’m wondering this too. He has to have some idea of this being wrong right? He saw Blaine hold Walky and Joyce hostage even if he didn’t witness any direct threats. I’m wondering how muc h of his actions are from fear or not.
thejeff
He was there for the kidnappings. He knew what they did and possibly participated. And if he wanted to do something to stop it, all he had to do was not free Blaine. Without Faz doing that, this would all have been over.
Given that Blaine was tied up and blindfolded, it would have been easy to not free him without being obvious about it. Blaine not only wasn’t a direct threat, but hard to even paint as an indirect one. Make a bit of noise, time the rescue attempt differently and he could even say he’d tried.
Faz has shown no signs of not being on board, though it still remains possible. More possible that Joyce is able to persuade him otherwise, I think.
To the extent he might be coerced, I’d say it’s less fear as we traditionally think about it and more the abused kid trying desperately to win the abuser’s approval, which is slightly different.
lightsabermario
The thing about Faz, which may end up in Joyce’s favor, is that he’s on no one’s side except Faz’s. He’s a Starscream, dutifully sycophantic until it’s clear it’s not in his best interest to be so. Faz may see that the writing is on the wall for Blaine, and free Joyce so he appears to be the hero of the day.
Kinoko
Interesting. I read Faz as more of a (socially awkward and ego-driven) kid who is trying desperately to please his known abuser of a father. I wouldn’t assume he’s really stopped to think about whether this is “wrong” if Blaine’s told him that it’s good and/or necessary.
Any consideration for wrongdoing is probably forthcoming. I agree that since Joyce has been kind of him in the past, and people seem to rarely to be kind to Faz, he’ll at least be tempted to free her. He still might not, but I don’t see him as a mastermind.
Zaxares
That’s my reading of Faz too. He’s a socially awkward/inept kid who desperately seeks approval and acceptance, but his own awkward/creepy behaviour alienates the very people he wanted to be accepted by, and his parental figures are either distant (his mom) or abusive (Blaine), and so he’s developed the typical mindset of abused kids where he’ll do just about anything to please his abusive parents. If left alone on this trajectory, he’ll probably grow up to be incel one day.
So far, Joyce is one of the few people who’s actually interacted with him as a person, not merely told him to go away or ignored him. We don’t know if Faz actually saw Joyce as one of the kidnappees. He might have been OK with dumbly following along with what Blaine was doing (see “desperately seeking approval” above), but that might change now that he realizes Joyce is the one in danger.
BBCC
I think a heel face turn is coming (he did pause when AG said she was Amber) but yeah, he might very well be on the hook for this.
Sirksome
Faz?!….Huh?
Doctor_Who
That kinda sounds like the title of a Willis comic in a parallel universe where Faz is the main character.
Universe A: It’s Walky!
Universe B: That’s Sal!
Universe 666: Why, Bloodrose, Why?
Universe Spork: Faz?!….Huh?
Hex Hornet
Faz as main protag….
I… I mean, I can’t–
There are no words.
sharktrs
DoA harem reboot with Faz as the protagonist
Oh Christ, I feel like I need to take a bath in holy water now
Typing that just felt dirty
Regalli
Kiss kiss fall in AUGH!
davidbreslin101
“Faz 1/2”, where his female version is Wen from Shortpacked?.
NickG
In ‘Why, Bloodrose, Why?’ the protagonist is never seen, only the consequences of her actions.
Too Old To Be Cool
“And you have been given to me. Faz is to show you his sexual prowess.”
Axel
why would you comment this
Doctor_Who
It’s been today for thirteen minutes, and my day is already ruined.
clif
Wash your mind out with soap and water this instant young Galifrain.
He Who Abides
Because Faz would absolutely say that.
Meagan
He would, in the R rated version of this comic.
King Daniel
We’ve got enough F-bombs in the comic that it might just be rated R for that anyway
clif
I’m just impressed by the original commenter self-identifying with R-rated Fax.
DSL
How do you know it’s self-identifying and not satirical?
thejeff
He could say that in this version of the comic. He just wouldn’t be able to carry through with it.
It does sound more like a SP! version of Faz though.
Roborat
And have the charts to detail exactly how he is going to do it.
sharktrs
delet this
clif
delet is a funny way to spell mock.
Mark
To be fair Fax showing his sexual prowess probably means having to sit through a power point lecture
Hex Hornet
No hacked muzak. We’re playing Alice Cooper’s “Welcome to my Nightmare” full blast on a 1980’s style Boom Box!