311

Devil
Posted on October 11, 2011 by David M Willis

311 thoughts on “Devil”

  1. Jen Aside

    So who’s the mark now? Eh? Eh?

    1. Jen Aside

      oh wait glass

      NOOOO SIERRA MIST

    2. skies

      Also he’s making that up.

  2. A. Colunga

    There’s a ghost “Sure.” on panel 1. I think that makes it an oversure.

    1. turkishproverb

      The PUNS! THE PUNS!!

      1. Vabolo

        THE PAIN! IT’S PUNBELIEVABLE!

  3. Henry

    NOOOO!

    1. David Herbert

      I suggest that if Joyce does indeed get raped we all form a mob and use pitchforks to stab Willis in the dick, then steal his transformers (I call Dragon Megatron).

      All in favour?

      1. Carbonics

        Dibs on his DC toys.

        1. Janette

          Can I have Bathound?

        2. Angelicfiend

          aww i wanted those

        3. xoer

          does he have primus i have a armada unicron and i could pose them to fight

      2. ilvos01

        Aye

      3. Zanosuke_Kurosaki

        Aye! I call Classics Nightbeat.

      4. Asuka L.S.

        Ye can keep my transformer if I get to bring a torch too!

        1. sammy

          your avatar makes this comment 10x more hilarious

        2. Wandering meme

          Your avatar makes your comment “super-effective!”

      5. General Tekno

        Dibs on the BW Ravage X-9 I presume he owns!

      6. MichaelHaneline

        I am a huge ren faire nerd and have 22 swords, 14 daggers, 3 battle axes, and a longbow in my direct possession. Consider them at your disposal.

        1. Rikushadow5

          You have my bow.

        2. Azumango

          AND MY AXE

        3. Pie

          And MY axe.

        4. Shade743

          Dudes, put down the axes. We don’t need them “just” yet… Wait till tomorrow.

        5. Wandering meme

          And both my daggers…

          …give them baaaaaaaaaack!

        6. Daibhid C

          I have … a slightly poinyed stick.

        7. Daibhid C

          I have … a slightly pointed stick.

        8. begbert2

          I hear poinyed sticks are more dangerous.

        9. PlutoniumBoss

          More poignant at least.

        10. Wandering Meme

          for a nickel?

        11. SolegitRR

          And my femurs!

        12. SolegitRR

          Super love it when comments go in the wrong place…

        13. Sarah

          And my bear arms. And my Fork of Truth. And my pillaging shovel. But not my kidney hat

        14. Jacob

          It’s made from real kidneys.

        15. PlatyPius

          How about an asshat?

        16. Izzy

          and my sacred triumph forks

        17. Far

          I take a bow… and arrow

      7. Plasma Mongoose

        You all do realise that comments like these makes Willis a very sad panda. 😛

        1. AaronS

          I was thinking, “I’m totally with you!!!”… until the stabbing part. And then I winced and though, ew. That’s unnecessary.

          So yes, mob!

          No, violence and stealing!

          How about an angry yet peaceful mob who protests with giant signs of Joyce-support?

        2. David Herbert

          But violence and thievery are so much fun.

        3. Tylertlat

          I was thinking, “I’m totally with you!!!”… too, until I realized we were talking about Willis and not the fictional character…

        4. Wandering meme

          Cool!

          does it burn willis? DOES IIIIIIIIIIIIIITTT?

        5. Jacob

          To be fair, it’s actually kind of a compliment to Willis that he can create a character and bring her to life so well that we all want to protect her from any harm. Not many can do that.

          Although, we may want to dial back the violence a tad.

        6. Far

          “we may want to dial back the violence a tad.”

          Ok, but if he does something shoking, can we taze him?

        7. M-S-S

          Of course. I mean, why else would anyone buy them but to punish Willis?

        8. L

          Don’t tase him bro! OW AAAGH

      8. Ess

        Aye!!

      9. Jeremy

        Can we just have our mob to Occupy Willis’ Street?

      10. Wandering meme

        Aye, and the motion is passed.

      11. David Herbert

        Wow, I did not expect to get this much positive response. Will definitely buy a ticket to the states if you guys have got my back.

        1. saturnwonder

          I have my 22!! *loads it*

        2. Hannover Fist

          I have a Ruger Mk.III, a Taurus model 62, a Charles Daly field grade, a Savage model 32C, a FEG model 200ES, a Yugoslavian M24/47, the bayonet for the M24/47, a sword bayonet for an M1903 springfield, a Ka-Bar 5-inch fighting knife, 2 butterfly knives, an 11-inch combat dagger, a 4-inch custom built hunting knife, a CKRT tactical folding knife, 4 air rifles, and a rusty hatchett.

      12. Richie9999

        I’m down for that. I can bring us a lead pipe. I’ll pick what toy I want once we get there.

      13. wererat2000

        i get the rattraps!

      14. Wreckers360

        I want his custom Devcon.

      15. thomas0comer

        SGRAVAGECALLEDIT!

    2. Luke

      JOYCE NOOO DON’T DRINK THAT! IT’S A TRAP!!

  4. Jeff D

    2 Corinthians 11:14- “And no wonder, for Satan himself masquerades as an angel of the light”.

    Well played, Willis. Well played.

    1. Rodrigo

      Wait… So… that means…. is Joyce actually Satan?

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        If Joyce = Satan and Satan = Santa, therefore Joyce is Santa.

        Santa has a list of all the naughty and nice people in the world.

        Santa gives nice people presents while he turns naughty people into lumps of coal.

        Conclusion: Ryan is going to be turned into coal.

        1. fellixe

          Yay! Santa’s here! (Deja vu edition)

      2. Andy

        that or danny is the devil now, that is danny right? It looks like him anyway.

        1. Andy

          nvm its defanitly not danny(wiki is useful) but now its realy bugging me who that is, i based my whole vision of this on it being the guy from roomies.

        2. Andy

          ok im dumb(noticed the tags, again wiki is awsome)

        3. Andy

          Who are you and why are you using my name?

        4. Atcote

          That’s Andy.
          I think it’s because his name is Andy.

        5. Plasma Mongoose

          That’s the risk when you use an ordinary name as a handle, the chances that someone else chooses to use the same name increases many-fold.

        6. Plasma Mongoose

          Ahem.

        7. Plasma Mongoose

          You realise that stealing someones ORIGINAL handle makes baby Jesus cry dontcha? 😛

        8. Asuka L.S.

          I just realized: there’s no such thing as a gaseous mongoose, let alone an ionized gaseous mongoose! THE NAME IS A LIE!!!!

        9. Wandering Meme

          your faaaaaaaaaace is a lie!

        10. Plasma Mongoose

          That’s why it is original. 😀

        11. Wandering meme

          Let the clone wars begin!

        12. saturnwonder

          I lay $10 down on the second Andy!!

      3. Tev

        Nah, Ryan is bad, pretending to be good. Apt.

    2. Shade

      Oh -2- for a second there I was going “How is long hair relevant to his comic page?”

    3. Radome

      Went and googled what that verse was, and burst into laughter when I read it.

    4. skies

      ohhh NICE.

    5. Richie9999

      Joyce should have paid attention to the verse he mentioned. FORESHADOWING!

      1. vlademir1

        What’s to say she didn’t? We may well be reading this all wrong, after all Willis does like to subvert our expectations.

  5. Zek Patterson

    IT’S A TRAP!!

  6. AaronS

    “And no wonder, for Satan himself masquerades as an angel of light.”

    I wonder if Joyce knows this quote and is discovering his deceit? Then again, that’s totally wishful thinking on my part, with that whole Marry me part at the end.

    Ryan totally has a knack for choosing interesting bible verses given the context.

    1. NCP19

      Man, I hope so. I’d really hate such a relevant Bible verse to slip past Joyce.

      1. AaronS

        I know, right? I think that should be a big red flag to her. I initially read her further questioning of him as her being suspicious, but you know. Horses.

        Lots of horses.

        1. LeaLeonis

          I wonder – if Ryan turns out to be hoofed, would she fancy him more or less? And what would that mean for his penis qualities? I bet they’d be infernal.

          Would it be too much to ask for an impression of Devil-Ryan and Joyce hitting it in his father’s stable? Possibly while riding a horse? Backwards?

    2. Mkvenner

      Well Satan was once the angel of light.

      1. Markus

        Nope. That was Lucifer. The two are not the same.

        1. Kaci

          this just in: Satan IS Lucifer. God changed his name after the war in Heaven when He cast him out. TOTALLY true story.

        2. David

          {{citationneeded}}

        3. adius

          It says so in that poem god wrote. Yknow, Paradise Lost?

        4. vlademir1

          *falls off his chair laughing*

          Many scholars attribute Satan’s development from an adversary to the archenemy of God to the influence of the Persian religion Zoroastrianism. This religion is a lot like Star Wars, in which two opposing forces, one good and the other evil, struggle for control of the universe. Yet, the New Testament preserves the Hebrew Bible’s notion of Satan as far inferior to God and needing to get God’s permission before “raising hell” on earth (see, for example, Luke 22:31). Following the biblical period, Medieval theologians reinterpreted passages such as Isaiah 14 and Ezekiel 28, in which Babylonian and Phoenician kings are condemned for pride, as descriptions about Satan. In fact, the name Lucifer comes from a Latin translation of Isaiah 14:12, in which the Babylonian king is linked to a fallen Morning Star, called in Latin lucern ferre (“bearer of light”).[ahref=”http://www.dummies.com/how-to/content/sizing-up-satan-in-the-bible.html”][1][/a]

          *resumes laughing*

        5. vlademir1

          I didn’t expect

          to have an actual effect on here…. nor such an ugly effect. My deepest apologies to everyone actually having to see it.

        6. Mkvenner

          xdcd already beat you to that willis.

        7. Plasma Mongoose

          IIRC, Satan is Hebrew for adversary, it is less of a name and more of a discription.

        8. LurkerWithout

          I wanted to point out the typo, but then I realized that DIScription works on some level…

        9. Plasma Mongoose

          I usually know when I spelt something wrong and therefore use google to find the right spelling but in this case, I always assumed it was spelt dIscription not dEscription.

    3. Doranian

      Either he has an app that spouts random verses, or that verse might actually be from his mom.

      1. Mkvenner

        I thought that he was the result off genetic experimentation at a turd factory.

      2. Wandering meme

        It prolly does. But like a true pick up artist (PUA henceforth) he’s using it.

        He just got stumped, cause he never reads them.

  7. Mkvenner

    No don’t drink the…what is that stuff?

    On another note was anyone else having connection problems?

    1. Platypus

      yep

      1. Mkvenner

        Oh good I am not going sane.

        1. saturnwonder

          Don’t you mean insane? To be honest I think everyone is a little insane 😀

        2. thomas0comer

          Mmmmmmno, I think ‘sane’ sums it up perfectly.

    2. David Herbert

      Yeah, the site was down according to Willis’ twitter.

      1. Digidestined of Trust (Tim)

        Same here! I was getting quite annoyed. At first I thought it was my connection at home, but FB was working and then when I tried it at U.C. Clermont College it worked for 2 minutes and then shut down again for about 30 more minutes

    3. Jesk

      yes i tried for like an hour to get to this page. also had problems with shortpacked! which was sad for me

  8. Henry

    In an amusing twist, Joyce has a tolerance to the roofie and doesn’t notice the drink is spiked.

    1. meanderling

      No, Joyce is a member of a rival organ-thievery gang. She’s switched the drinks beforehand and Ryan’s gonna pass out any second.

      1. David Herbert

        Or Ryan grabbed someone else’s glass instead of his intended one.

        1. fellixe

          Ooh! Quite possible. We’ll have to wait and see if some unsuspecting Settler passes out all of a sudden.

      2. Mkvenner

        How deliciously evil. http://youtu.be/6i7ycxiog40 (It was the only clip i could find with laugh I wanted)

        1. madd

          Best evil laugh ever: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gTghUoScGO8

        2. Mkvenner

          I agree, but this is more of a Orson Welles than a Vincent Price luagh moment.

    2. Mkvenner

      Is that possible?

    3. Digidestined of Trust (Tim)

      Well, remember in the Walkyverse, she’s got a tolerance to alcohol, so I wouldn’t be surprised. That’s our final hope

      1. Valdrax

        Well, that and the fact that Dorothy is actively looking for her.

        My prediction: She gets drugged but discovered before Ryan can “seal the deal,” teaching her a horrible lesson about trust without going all the way to getting her raped.

        1. Kaci

          I know I say this a lot but, second

        2. xo

          “teaching her a horrible lesson about trust without going all the way to getting her raped.”

          well.. we already know she doesnt like the drink because its not sprite, so i doubt shes going to drink much of it other than a sip. additionally.. i can totally imagine joyce getting pissed because she thinks her friend (that actually will just have saved her) doesnt trust other people and thinks friend is overreacting.

          (meanwhile, billie is in the background chugging it down.)

          if willis does it like that, where she doesnt actually learn anything…….. then our clueless joyce will have yet another opportunity to make the same mistake.

        3. Valdrax

          That is the funnier of the two options, so you’re probably right.
          OTOH, we’re a little overdue for some drama, so I’m not sure.

    4. Wackd

      “I spent the last few years building up an immunity to iocane powder roofies.”

      1. RodneyMack

        I was waiting for that movie refernece to pop up after drink switching was suggested

        1. Zuche

          It came up yesterday. We even got the whole battle of wits to the death scene out of it.

    5. Kirt Dankmyer

      Really, Ryan is an idiot. Not only does Joyce have friends she cam ewith to watch out for her, but she has a whole room of drunk people likely to go looking for her if she’s gone for long. (Sure, drunk people are incompetent, but it only takes one to stumble on the correct action to save Joyce from Ryan.)

      Ryan is pretty much fucked, and not the way he wants.

  9. meanderling

    And no wonder, for Satan maskerades as an Angel of.

    Hehehehe…

  10. Moonshine McGee

    Now it’s official, the only thing that will make this end remotely happily is a deus ex ultracar-ina. Because Amazigirl is totally ultracar.

    1. Mkvenner

      There is no ultracar in this verse.

      1. Moonshine McGee

        See, that’s what Willis WANTS you to think.

        1. Mkvenner

          Frankly we are better of with out ultracar.

          3..2..1 aaaaaand que shit storm!

        2. Rognik

          *hands an extra f to ‘of’ and swaps the q for a c* There, that should do that…

          Perhaps Ultra Car is a rival cartoon to Dexter? Or perhaps same series, but he’s the nemesis. What a twist!

        3. fellixe

          I like the ‘q’. “¡Qué shit storm!”

        4. Spazman

          Queue shit storm?

    2. Rognik

      Dorothy is looking for Joyce. As that has been introduced, it would not qualify as a deus ex machina, either. So there is a possible happy ending, but she’ll be down the garden path a little first.

      1. lawzlo

        …And to be fair, although Joyce has tilted the glass towards her mouth as if she were ABOUT to take a drink, it’s not clear that she actually has yet (after all, she’s still talking, which is hard to do with a mouth full of soda), so it’s possible that something will suddenly distract her at. the. last. possible. second. before. she. is. about. to. drink.

        Willis wants us on the edge of our seats, so I figure he’s going to take this as close to the edge as he can, before pulling back.

        1. fellixe

          And unknown to Ryan we have substituted his usual Rohypenol for Folger’s crystals. Let’s see what happens…

        2. Mkvenner

          Amb- I mean Amazi-girl kicks the shyte out of him.

        3. Hannah

          Seconded:

          http://www.dumbingofage.com/2011/comic/book-1/06-yesterday-was-thursday/mark/

          Then Joyce will become her sidekick.

        4. Wandering Meme

          All in favour of the aforementioned ryan shyte kicking ?

          …Aye.

    3. Wandering meme

      …but who is ultra car?

      This has been your moment of zen.

      1. Michelle J Caboose

        Why, Amber is, silly. (rolls eyes)

      2. Michelle J Caboose

        Every time I think of “Corinthians,” I think of Paul Rodriguez’ routine about Ricardo Montalban’s Chrysler commercials. In the commercials, Montalban always mentioned the seats being made of “real Corinthian leather.” Rodriguez said something like, “There’s no such animal. The Corinthians were an ancient people from the Bible. It ain’t cool to make seats out of people.” ^_^

  11. SlenderTroll

    Nooooo, Joyce! Don’t drink the Mist!

  12. (parenthetical commenter)

    (but the dumbfuck did wind up having to do it in public…Justice may be swift)

  13. Thor

    Time to see how dark Willis is going to go with this…

  14. TheStranger

    “And no wonder, for Satan himself masquerades as an angel of light.”

    1) Joyce didn’t twig to that immediately? You’d think, with the homeschooling…
    2) I’m thinking this has to be a setup for a swerve. Way too blatant a verse to be that straightforward unless Willis is going all Vizzini on us here.

    1. numaron

      Just because she’s homeschooled doesn’t mean she knows the entire Bible by heart. That’s like saying just because someone went to public school they will know what is written in the 37th line of the Constitution.

      1. Digidestined of Trust (Tim)

        That’s true. I was homeschooled and I still haven’t memorized every verse. In fact I haven’t studied very many enough to have them memorized though I should’ve

      2. fellixe

        Willis does really have a good set of asumptions to play off of here. Homeschooling is practiced so widely now, even through facilitating charter schools. So the actual range of experiences for a homeschooled astudent is quite wide. Add to that that Christian youth culture is so wide and varied including a huge music scene spanning many genres. So while homeschooled and Christian is assumed to mean sheltered it can actually mean much more.

      3. Aydr

        I don’t see why one would even assume “christian” from “homeschooled”, but Joyce here seems like she probably DOES have the bible memorized.

        1. eagalian

          yes, but we’re not assuming with joyce. willis established joyce as a homeschooled christian in the first few strips, if not the very first one.

        2. Aydr

          well yes but a lot of people here seem to think that somehow it’s reasonable to assume that someone who’s homeschooled education must have been extremely religious. We assume she knows these bible verses because that’s been established as “her thing”, people, not because she’s homeschooled…

      4. MarcinMN

        True, but if they did go to public school, we *could* assume that they are proficient in small arms. 😉

    2. Shade

      My first reaction was “Huh… the long hair thing?” Till I realised it was 2 which I didn’t happen to know.

    3. No Name

      Years later, I have to make this point: Joyce didn’t notice because she was immediately distracted by horses.

  15. Kaos

    someone please push him down at the stairs from an “accident.” he such is a bad liar.

  16. numaron

    Willis, I applaud your choice of verse. It is very appropriate.

    1. Logress

      DAMN YOOOU WILLIS!!!

  17. Darth Shadow

    How much do you want to bet Joyce is going to call him out on that quote? She might, I don’t know enough of the bible to know if it’s an actual quote, and I don’t care enough to research it.

    Oh man I really hope I don’t start a flame war please don’t start a flame war.

    1. Asuka L.S.

      FLAME WA——–R!!!!!!!

      1. begbert2

        So would that be a battle of pining romantic couples, or an actual contest of common conflagrations?

  18. RWolf

    Huh. Is this the first time that the title of the strip didn’t match up with anything said in the comic?

    1. Master Kenobi

      It matches up with the actual verse he quoted, which is not about Jesus, but rather the devil.

  19. NCP19

    So…is Ryan implying that his dad’s into bestiality?
    “What else does he do?”
    “We have a stable full of horses.”
    “So…he…does…them?” (if Joyce were more warped, XD)

    1. Ex

      Doing horses is a very profitable business.

      1. Zem

        I’d say!

        1. Fauxlosopher

          Av+Comment=wow

  20. Yhelta

    Cue Mike stepping out of the bathroom and catchin Ryan with that predator look on his face…..followed by him punching it…HARD.

    1. Darth Shadow

      Your current icon makes it all the better.

    2. Yhelta

      Apropriate gravatar is apropriate

    3. NakedDumblydore

      I wonder if DoA-verse Mike is aware of the effects alcohol have on him yet? He’s still underage, so it’s conceivable.

      1. m-no

        But! In the DoA-verse, there are no aliens and no abductees, so he most likely doesn’t have a special reaction to alcohol. In this universe, he probably just punches people harder.

        1. NakedDumblydore

          Was the alcohol effect because of the aliens? I didn’t think so, but I could have missed something.

        2. m-no

          I was always under that impression. o.o I’m not sure on that now that you mention it, though.

      2. TARDIS With A Hat

        That would be hilarious!

        1. TARDIS With A Hat

          YAY! head alien!

    4. xo

      THIS.

  21. Jason

    I have a hard time believing Joyce would drink from someone else’s glass. Backwash!

    1. isitsevenyet

      Well, he did get it for her to begin with. She told him he could have it, but if he slipped something into it, he wouldn’t have had any. Maybe she saw this and figured he just wasn’t thirsty.

  22. Digidestined of Trust (Tim)

    ACK! You should KNOW this verse Joyce!

    2 Corinthians 11:14

    King James Version (KJV)

    14And no marvel; for Satan himself is transformed into an angel of light.

  23. jaredstar

    she may not have taken a sip yet at least that is what it looks like in my eyes. That being said whos for ripping the fabric of reality open and letting mike from the main verse go to town on this guy.

    1. Digidestined of Trust (Tim)

      I’m for it! And then Mike from this verse shows up 2 seconds later

  24. milk experiment

    (14) And no wonder, for Satan himself masquerades as an angel of light. (15) It is not surprising, then, if his servants also masquerade as servants of righteousness. Their end will be what their actions deserve.

    I hope that 2 Corinthians 11:15 holds true for Ryan.

    1. phildog

      It’s easy to see why he didn’t read it aloud.

      Not that Joice needed him too. 😉

  25. T Campbell

    Congratulations, Willis, you’ve managed to make me feel horrible about finding panels 3 and 4 funny. There’s still a little chill as Joyce puts the glass to her lips (she hasn’t actually drunk yet, right? Is there still time for something or someone to interrupt her?), but there’s also something about how Ryan’s making his pitch.

    “I love my mom so much, just like the Lord says I should! She just sent me this BIBLE VERSE, which says… ohcrapmomstopexposingmyevilplans um, we have lots of horses, girls like My Little Pony, right?”

    1. AaronS

      Exactly. ALL FEMALES LIKE PONIES.

      1. Andy

        Dude, everyone likes the new MLP. Everyone. And if you don’t, Pinkie Pie will hunt you down. Forever.

        1. AaronS

          Actually, I’d be more afraid of Discord. That guy gave me shivers.

        2. Andy

          I liked Discord, except for the whole Flutterbongo thing. Dark gods of chaos and mischief are usually pretty awesome.

        3. AaronS

          I thought Flutterbongo was amazing. But the maze gave me the shivers. Not gonna lie. When Applejack had the moving apples, I was like WTF IS GOING ON, MLP? and had to pause it for a few seconds.

        4. Andy

          That bit was freaking awesome. The connection to Greco-Roman and Norse mythologies (both having three fates; I’m sure other mythologies too but I’m not as familiar with them) made me squee a bit. I just don’t like Flutterbongo because Fluttershy’s not supposed to be like that. The others were amusing, but she was just a crime against nature. I tend not to like Psychoshy either, but that’s because she scares me.

    2. David

      It was all worth it.

      1. Zuche

        May Joyce be able to say the same afterward.

    3. begbert2

      I was figuring to this point that he was lying about the whole religious pastor thing. Though to be fair, it would be a bizarre theme to choose for a pickup line unless he actually knew Joyce’s habits/personality, which would presume stalkerish stuff. And it’s actually still sort of bizarre even if he actually is a pastor’s son – I can’t imagine it works with more than a small fraction of marks.

  26. ilvos01

    Also, that guy in front of the bathroom looks just like me. Willis, you started spying again, didn’t you?

  27. Yhelta

    Wait…..a text from his MOM?

    I would have thought it would say something along the lines of “Just made a nickel from a very nice young man. P.S. – stay out as late as you like tonight”

    1. Haituri

      I imagine he’s lying about who it is from.

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        Unless his mother is the type that wants grandchildren at any price.

        1. begbert2

          Wow I interpreted that pretty dark.

          “Dear son – how is the raping going?”

      2. Wandering Meme

        I imagine SHE’S lying about who “it’s” from!

  28. Plasma Mongoose

    What went wrong with this site, I wasn’t able to view it until a couple of minutes ago.

  29. Terah

    I keep wanting to think Billie comes around the corner and takes the glass/is offered the glass or whatever and she passes out, but everyone thinks ‘Oh, she drank way too much, let’s leave and get her home’ or whatever…

    Darn it, I don’t want anything horrible to happen to Joyce or Billie or Dorothy! Amazi-Girl, where are you?!

  30. Somebody

    Can he leave the poor girl alone already?

  31. Plasma Mongoose

    Maybe he spiked it with pure alcohol and discovers the hard way that Joyce is the world’s most violent drunk.

  32. Asuka L.S.

    I see your Corinthians 11:14, and I raise you a Revelation 20:10.

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      Revelation 20:10/ An Basement Cat is frown in a basement of fartz, wiv other evil kittehz to burn 24 7 forevers. Sry.

      1. Wandering meme

        Didn’t know you mastered kitteh-speak

    2. AaronS

      Let us hope that happens to him!

      At least, metaphorically.

  33. JeffreyATW

    I keep looking at Ryan’s nose in panel 3 and thinking it’s either an animal nose or a big smiley mouth.

    1. wynne

      Yeah, the more I look at this comic the more distracting his nose becomes.

      1. Zuche

        Every time I look at Ryan I keep seeing Danny.

  34. shoeboxjeddy

    Ha ha! Irony!

  35. Larson E. Jones

    DONT DRINK THE PROVERBIAL KOOL-AID JOYCE

  36. Ravux

    Oh nooooo, she drank it!

  37. Andy

    Horses, eh? Well, that explains where you get all your horseshit from.

    1. fellixe

      You got the scoop! Well done!

    2. Wandering meme

      Zing and haiyoooo!

  38. NakedDumblydore

    And Joyce, filled with concern about the drunk dude in front of her offers him her soda to make him feel better.
    Ryan is apoplectic.
    He turns into the Hulk and destroys the house.
    Nick Fury shows up and fixes everything.
    Tony Stark follows and shows them how to really party.
    Billie drinks him so far under the table he comes out in Themiscyra.
    He hits on Wonder Woman and she destroys him.
    Both Stark Enterprises and The Avengers collapse.
    And it is all Ryan’s fault.

    1. Wandering meme

      Thankfully, spiderman is no where near the calamity, having multiple sets of identity crises and making revenue off of several self released video games

  39. JessiKitty.lol

    NOOOOOOOOO JOYCE, DON’T DRINK THAT! THERE’S PROBABLY A ROOFIE IN THAT DRINK!!

  40. Joe

    Is he just pulling a verse out of the air, or is Ryan like a religious Bat villain, where he has to implicate himself during his crimes?

    1. Asuka L.S.

      I’d put a wager that he has either been watching Joyce for a while now (less likely) or he simply used his phone to Google another Bible verse on the fly while he was “checking his messages” (more likely). That would explain why it’s such an odd verse to randomly be “sent by one’s mother”.

      1. ryan

        i think it would be fitting for a mom to send. what with him being on his own at college. and at a party, no less.

        1. Plasma Mongoose

          The twist is that Ryan’s mother thinks that he is a sweet, innocent boy and that all those evil bongos are succubi pretending that they are good girls so they can stick their evil claws into him.

  41. Leon

    Does not nature itself teach you that if a man wears long hair it is a disgrace for him,
    … I guess he’s lucky it’s an actual passage at all,

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      Look how Samson turned out.

    2. gangler

      I think you’re reading the wrong Corinthians.

      1. Meg

        And yet it makes a lot more sense for a mom to send her kid.

        Cut your hair!

  42. Tunasammich

    I am seriously anxious about where this is going ;_;

  43. RickZarber

    Roofie kicks in just after Joyce locks the bathroom door; queen of the drunks spends the rest of the night on a porcelain throne?

    …I can hope, can’t I?

    1. Fonzelot

      Let’s just hope she locks the door.

  44. FORaNICKEL

    Oh, come on. like Joyce would ever get raped. I can’t see dumbing of age have that happen and having to deal with a traumatized Joyce for the remainder of the comic. Willis always has some thing up his sleeve. I can smell it…..

  45. gangler

    With such a tiny sip she’ll surely be able to tell that this is booze before harm is done right? I’m not experienced with alcohol, but I understand it has a powerful flavor. He couldn’t have mixed it so thinly that she still thinks it’s Sprite could he?

    1. Asuka L.S.

      You can mix drinks such that you’d never even know there was alcohol in them. Put about a shot’s worth of Bacardi rum in a tall glass of root beer, you’ll barely be able to tell the rum is there. Another tricky one is the long-island iced tea.

      Straight whiskey, beer, vodka, things like these have very strong alcohol flavors. It can be best described (from my experience) as an extremely bitter, grainy flavor which overwhelms your taste buds. You can’t miss it unless you mix the ethanol with something sweet enough to cover the flavor.

      1. gangler

        Ah, so if you’re looking to make the alcoholic content of a drink unnoticeable there are ways. Well that’s certainly unfortunate.

      2. Zuche

        Sadly, I suspect that’s part of why so many people referred to them as “girl drinks”.

    2. 47

      Booze is definitely detectable, but whatever’s in that drink is probably /not/ booze.

      Rohypnol, aka the “date rape drug,” is what Ryan possibly slipped in there. IIRC, Rohypnol is tasteless, so Joyce probably wouldn’t be able to tell. Though maybe Rohypnol only blends in with alcohol? So it would stand out in a sierra mist? *wishful thinking*

      1. gangler

        My understanding is that the date rape drug works largely by exaggerating and altering the effects of alcohol, acting primarily as a reactant within this second substance. I had thought it would be mostly harmless without some booze to make it work its’ magic.

        Am I incorrect?

        1. Tessa

          No, date rape drugs work from their own chemical composition, not by combining them with anything. Rohypnol is a powerful sedative on it’s own and does not need to be mixed with alcohol to work. In fact, taking it with alcohol can have very dangerous consequences, as it can make you stop breathing.
          GHB is another common one slipped into someone’s drink, but it makes the person seem drunk. If anything, that’s what I think he put in there. If she passed out or acted TOO drugged, people would notice. If she acted drunk and he “offered to take her home”…

        2. gangler

          Well ain’t that just a son of a gun. Here I thought there were just a couple things you’d be safe from so long as you didn’t drink the devil’s nectar. I mean hell, I got that tidbit from health class and everything. Even if it’s not always comprehensive I would have thought I could at least trust it to be accurate.

          Honestly, I’m a little pissed about that. If the teacher’s gonna take the time to warn about the dangers of date rape drugs she could at least take a flipping moment to make sure her information’s accurate. Thinking that they don’t have to watch their drinks when it’s nonalcoholic could have some pretty dire consequences. Not that big a deal for myself, but I got a sister going through the same school system right now. That’s messed up.

        3. Dragon Nataku

          I have a friend who, at the ripe age of 18, had to ask me if what he learned in his health class was true, namely: “My health teacher told us that no matter who you have sex with, you’ll get an STD.”

          When I said “So… since your parents had sex to have you, does that mean they have STDs” I think he realised his health class was severely lacking in accuracy checks. So, your health teacher being an idiot doesn’t surprise me at all.

        4. TheRealAllPurposeGuru

          Teacher in my health class was completely accurate, completely up-front about everything, taught us a lot. Got fired at the end of his first year teaching. Friggin’ idiots.

        5. Tessa

          Oh dear, at this point you are probably better off getting your facts from the internet then. Reputable sites, I mean, not forums 😉

      2. Asuka L.S.

        Your taste buds pick up alcohol more easily in mixed drinks than mine do, I guess.

  46. Wandering meme

    Soooooooooooooo..shes boned isn’t she?

    1. Spazman

      yeah…..she’s probably fucked.

    2. ryan

      not until she gets married. and honestly, that’s such a dirty word. “boned”.

      1. Wandering Meme

        Let me rephrase…

        she’s scre-…nooooo…
        she’s hum-…nope!
        she’s in for the night of her life?…still too close…
        she’s ….she’s… well… in trouble?…
        …yeah, i guess that works.

    3. begbert2

      She’s got Dorothy and UltraDina as backup. And Billie not as backup. It will doubtlessly work out alright.

  47. Poodog

    small edit, i thought it was funny at the time:

    http://i.imgur.com/fxTMi.png

  48. Acher4

    Nooooooooooooooo!
    [inhales]
    Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

  49. Bluebear

    What is all this talk about roofies? Roofies wont work properly without alcohol and i am pretty sure Joyce wouldnt drink alcohol, even on accident.

    1. David

      I think you and gangler had the same high school teacher.

      1. Creaks

        I’m willing to bet she also got roofied through Sierra mist.

      2. Fauxlosopher

        Obviously Bluebear has never been roofied.

    2. xo

      roofies are a legit medicine for surgeries and insomnia, dont need alc at all. alc does make things worse though. and also.. someone less likely to panic after feeling physically different after some alcoholic drinks.. but to feel weird after some, say, sierra mist or sprite ? i would be. freaking. out.

      hopefully joyce gets in the bathroom, locks the door, and falls asleep in there.. alone. anticlimactic, but hey.

      1. xo

        i just saw the above comments about her locking the door.

        bweeeoooop, mind taking

  50. espanolbot

    Awwww, why do I get the impression that he’s got the phone out to film whatever he does to Joyce/makes her do, and is just making up a Bible quote on the fly to cover it up? 🙁

    Hrrm, I wonder if Roz’ll feel any guilt if he actually is sucessful.

    1. 47

      To me, Roz seems to be an uber-liberal feminist with a judgmental streak. While she actively seems to dislike Joyce, rape would be absolutely the kind of thing she would not tolerate under ANY circumstances.

      Here’s hoping we never have to find out, though…

  51. David Davison

    Joyce, he said, “Can you hold this?”, not “Would you like something to drink?”

    1. ryan

      right?

  52. Martin S Smith

    Nooooo! Those are sinister eyebrows!

  53. Asuka L.S.

    Wait! Wait! It may just be a limitation of the medium that we think she drank the Rufinol! We can’t see the action in motion, or anything happening between panels! She may just have been holding the cup to her lips! See? She’s talking! Quick! Someone rudely enter their conversation and distract her!

    1. Wandering meme

      And next comic, I know we’re gonna see the poor girl guzzle the whole thing, just to set us aaaaallllllllllllll straight.

  54. lightsabermario

    Even if Joyce did just get roofied, I doubt it will have a normal reaction on Joyce. This is a fairly silly comic, and so while most people would pass out and be very vulnerable, I bet Joyce’s reaction will cause hilarious failure for Ryan, with a good chance of an accidental blow to the nutsack.

    1. xo

      anyone taking bets on whether or not shes wearing a chastity belt under there ?

    2. Zuche

      There are jokes around which Mr. Willis might tread cautiously. This might be one of those.

  55. Osaru Sensei

    I choose to interpret Joyce’s look in the last panel not in the ‘OMG MARRY ME’ way, but as shock over what that verse is. She then chooses to answer that to not allow Ryan to find out he’s busted.

    >>This is a rough draft of an Osaru Sensei™ Theory<<

    1. RayBarrington

      Nope – it is part of the entire Willis canon that girls cannot resist ponies (see Shortpacked! especially)

  56. Ryan

    This whole arc makes me hate my own name.

    Why, Willis? Whyyyyy

    1. ryan

      willis has it in for us.

      did someone with our name torment you when you were younger? not all ryans are assholes!

      1. Zuche

        Nor all Mikes, despite what webcomics might have you believe.

  57. zenofben

    I’m kind of hoping Dorothy re-enacts the scene from Preacher where Tulip makes the date rapist think she’s about to shoot him with an empty shotgun and he wets his pants.

  58. DannyBoy

    You know what’d be terrible. If his dad REALLY WAS a pastor and his mom REALLY DID send him a Bible Verse and he’s just ignoring it. But then again, I AM a little crazy. (insert Woody Woodpecker laugh)

  59. Spazman

    Because the LOLC version doesn’t have a 2 Corinthians 11:14, I have chosen to transcribe 11:13-15:

    “Monorail Kitteh butt yu sed frum teh toylut bowl u no wantz teh toylut bowl. Oh noes!15 Cuz yu b hazin plaztik kittehs, ebil kittehs seyin dey Apostle Kitteh. DO NOT WANT! Dey end up en teh toylut bowl wif yu.”

    Also….

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7g9WjcGdxuM

  60. Dr.Z

    How long do date-rape drugs normally take to work? If that is a looooong line to the bathroom, she may pass out before then.

    1. xo

      depends on which one, roofies about 20 – 30 mins

      (..please dont give me a gravatar of mr rapist)

      1. Jeffrey Scott

        I was wondering if the drink wouldn’t immediately affect her. I’ve never seen Joyce’s eyes like that before (last panel).

        1. xo

          *cue panel depicting joyce-vision: nothing but white light and seemingly-perfect man on a white neighing horse, unseen chorusing angels*

          and that is why her eyes are small

  61. Kelsey

    Wait, are his grandparents rich? Because it’s incredibly difficult to afford something like a stable full of ponies on a pastor’s salary. My grandfather was a pastor and my dad tells us about how there was alot they just couldn’t afford. Not to mention most pastors move around alot, and it’d be nearly impossible to bring horses with you everytime you move. This creep is not a very good liar.

    1. Andy

      I wouldn’t say most pastors move around a lot. My church has had 2 of their 3 pastors for at least 10 years, and the last for around 7 or so.

    2. Doom Shepherd

      He’s obviously lying. Trying to lure her in by using the other Great Tempter: Horsies.

      At least he didn’t claim to have a unicorn.

  62. Aizat

    Very subtle. Well played Mr Willis.

  63. Andy

    Is it just me, or is it very telling that Joyce just asked what else his DAD does. You know, as opposed to what his mom does, despite the fact they were just talking about her?

    1. Charles RB

      Not just asking about his dad – mentioning “so your dad’s a pastor” right after he tried to claim Bible verse knowledge and blew it. I wonder if she’s calling him out…?

      1. xo

        did you not read the rest of the panel ? she bought it.

        1. Zuche

          That is how it would appear, but Mr. Willis is too much a Batman fan for me to be sure it’s the case.

        2. Jeffrey Scott

          I agree with you. If anything, she’s probably unclear anything might be in the soda.

  64. Darkflame

    Tsk, Joyce deserves what she gets.

    Drinking someone else drink? Thats terrible!
    😛

  65. TheDarkEricDraven

    Note she has stopped just short of drinking out of shock. Ryan has once again fucked only himself in his quest for rape.

    And now that I think about it, he is WAAAAY too casual about drugging someone so he can have sex with them.

  66. Zuche

    Wait, wait…there’s a door in front of them, right? Where’s there’s a door, there’s a Dina behind it. If any woman in these comics is immune to the pony’s lure, it is her! Clearly, we have our rescuer!

    Now if only she could come riding in on a triceratops.

    1. xo

      i can imagine a meek dina witnessing horrible things behind doors and not saying anything the entire time, but that is too dark for this comic i hope.

    2. begbert2

      A Dina behind every door? Now I’m picturing a horror movie, with some terrified protagonist running and stumbling down a hallway of doors, occasionally stopping to pull one open – and then shrieking and pulling back at the quiet safari-hatted girl looking back at her. And at her from all the doors she’s left open behind her, just looking, watching, staring…

  67. Jeffrey Scott

    It’s funny that not only is the bible verse not about Jesus, it’s about Satan looking like an angel of light. And guess who’s also making himself look like an angel? And now she’s taking a drink of the soda! This better not lead where I think it’s leading or I’m going to be just as pissed as everyone else. I hope the worst that happens is she walks away a little smarter.

    1. begbert2

      And/or she gets carried away, and wakes up a little smarter in the morning.

  68. Caffienated

    I’m wondering who sent Ryan that email? Crazy idea but what if it’s Sarah? Since she’s a sophomore and might know of Ryan. So…what if she’s actually there watching out for her?

    1. merkury

      Occam’s Razor. He’s probably just lying.

  69. bernardlotus

    Ultra-girl to fight date rape? A very special episode of Dumbing of Age?

  70. Whittier

    Looked up the verse. Ingenious!

  71. Doom Shepherd

    I so want to see Ryan get punched in the FAAAAAAAACE.

  72. Fauxlosopher

    Damnit.

  73. Skippy

    I would suggest not underestimating Joyce herself. She was the best-socialized of her school group and she seems to be a fast social learner in college. It would surprise but not shock me if she knows exactly what is going on here. But, my money is on Dorothy and/or Amazi-Girl.

  74. Scot

    Looks like Jake Manley had too much to drink, according to panel 1.

  75. Jason

    2 Corinthians 11:14: And no wonder, for Satan himself masquerades as an angel of light.

    I see what you did there, Willis.

    1. Trifecta

      Yeah, I saw that to. Had to look it up, hilarious.

  76. Katana

    Guys, the comic is there for humor. It’s not going to lead to her getting drugged and taken off to-…OH GOD SHE JUST TOOK A SIP

    1. nothri

      Dude, relax. This comic is light hearted and fun. Its not like we’re going to suddenly veer into tragedy and drama here…like Ruth dying to save a drunk driver from himself…or Walky dropping dead bodies on people…or Dina blowing herself up…or….

      ….

      GODDAMNIT WILLIS!

      1. thomas0comer

        Nonono, like this:

        -000–ODDAMN–00000-T–0—–0-ILLIS–0
        0————————–0——–0——0———-0
        0–00——————–0———0–0–0———-0
        0—-0——————–0———0-00-0————
        -000——————00000——-0–0————0

        1. thomas0comer

          Damn, non-unicode formatting screwed it up a bit.

  77. Vabolo

    Does Ryan’s nose get bigger as the story progresses?

    I can’t wait for it to be usable as a makeshift safety raft.

  78. xoer

    And no wonder, for Satan himself masquerades as an angel of light.

    you are a sick sick man Willis

  79. Kelsey

    That verse is rather fitting.

  80. Atomicmonkey

    “…for Satan himself masquerades as an angel of light.”
    Fitting

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