114

Newspaper
Posted on May 4, 2011 by David M Willis

114 thoughts on “Newspaper”

  1. Jen Aside

    Wait.

    …

    LOLOLOLOLOL

    1. calendarman27

      retarDO? i think you mean retardJOE!! HaHa! (commence groaning)

      1. David Herbert

        He Joe’d the word.

        With his penis.

        1. Buckybone

          For a nickel.

    2. Teowulf

      Yessssss.

  2. Dedlok

    Could this be a reference to Robin? 😀 FINALLY!

    1. Digidestined of Trust (Tim)

      I had to read it twice to see what was with Danny’s reaction there, wow, Robin’s already a congresswoman? I knew Roz was bad news.

  3. meanderling

    Robin is officially in the DumbingVerse! Yay!

    1. Joebo

      I direct your attention to all of the second guessing that occurred prior to Sal’s official appearance. Don’t get your hopes up, this could go in another direction.

  4. calendarman27

    Heeeeeeeeeeeere’s ROBIN!

    1. Bekah

      So excited!

      1. ADHadh

        As can be seen by your avatar.

  5. Henry

    Danny’s expression = priceless.

    1. Henry

      Wait, I just got it.

  6. Rognik

    Nobody can prove that was him!
    Although I thought in the first panel he might’ve been talking about a school newspaper..

    1. gangler

      Didn’t he tape it?

      1. Henry

        Yeah, but they can’t prove it since nobody saw his faaaaaaaaaace!

      2. ryan

        roz taped it.

  7. Brendan

    I knew Ben Bernanke’s son in college. Never banged him, though.

    …what, just one person caught?

  8. Ragnal

    Robin Reference YAY!

  9. gangler

    Lol. Took me a second to get that. Awesome 😀

    What do we think the repercussions of this will be? Will a thousand Joyces descend upon Joe to inflict divine punishment for his premarital hanky panky?

    1. Rowen Morland

      Painted by one of the old masters (maybe Titian) winged angel Joyces diving from the clouds, each delivering (or preparing to deliver) a punch to Joe’s face.

  10. The Sound Defense

    If I know David Willis, the congressperson probably isn’t Robin and we’re all being fucked with.

    Here’s a pre-emptive WILLIIIIIIIIIIIIISSSSSSSSSSSSS

    1. iSaidCandleja-

      Or maybe it IS Robin, but this video doesn’t have Joe because this is only the first in a series of videos. And now it’s a race to stop Joe’s video from being leaked… with his penis.

      1. CWR

        ew.

        leaked…penis – no.

      2. Pat

        I don’t see how that would make Joe look bad. Roz, yes, but not Joe.

    2. calendarman27

      I’ve been wondering why the chapter was called “media rumble”

      1. dchorror

        Isn’t Billie trying to get on the paper?

        1. Rognik

          School paper, not national news, which this seems to be.

        2. dchorror

          I was referring to the title chapter and how it could have made sense before hand.

    3. ryan

      sydney yus?

      1. ryan

        jake manley?

  11. Doctor_Who

    Awesome. Looking forward to one of my fave Walkyverse characters showing up.

    Wonder how different she’ll be.

    1. DaniellePhantom

      do you think she’ll beat joe up? or shake his hand?

      1. Wackd

        I wouldn’t be surprised if Joe getting beaten up becomes a recurring thing.

      2. dchorror

        Can’t it be both?

    2. Bekah

      Willis said everyone still has the same sexuality, so she’s still bi.

  12. Chrisby

    DUN DUN DUNNNNNN

  13. Wackd

    Damnit, Willis. Can you have ONE COMIC without a sex-tape scandal?

    Ah, well. Totally worth it for Danny’s reaction in the final panel.

    Also: THE HOODIE RETURNS.

    1. Henry

      You mean Danny’s faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaace?

  14. NF

    This comic is full of win!!!

  15. Ridureyu

    I have this strange feeling that Joe completely ignored the “OSAMA KILLED” headline.

    Or interpreted it as a euphemism for his penis.

    1. Wackd

      Joe killed Osama with his penis?

      1. Ridureyu

        And that’s why the press won’t release any photos.

    2. Confuzor

      Well, isn’t this within the first week or so of classes. Back in August or September. For a nickel.

      1. gangler

        During an unspecified year no less. Probably not the strip for topical humor.

        1. CWR

          It does say “Troop Surge” I do believe.

  16. bwilliy

    Lol…took me a second to get that.. XD

    1. Undrave

      Same here hahaha.

    2. creativerealms

      Yeah me too.

  17. thatgirlwiththeglasses

    OH! I finally got it!
    YAY ROBIN!

  18. Zap

    … What, exactly, would said “retardo” be “busted” for, anyway? I’m confused on that part.

    1. taekwondogirl

      Maybe she’s underage? That’s really all I can think of. That or he “seduced” her or something.

      1. gangler

        Maybe he’s part of a political scandal and now has to deal with everything that comes with that.

      2. Pat

        Isn’t she older than him? He just started at school.

        1. taekwondogirl

          She did too. Also, that doesn’t necessarily mean they’re the same age!

  19. Menachem Schmuel

    Comic blueballing: Reading panel one of a comic, realizing it’s tomorrow’s update, and deciding to leave it until tomorrow so that it doesn’t seem like the author missed a day.

    I’ll be back.

  20. Plasma Mongoose

    Tell me if I’m wrong but wasn’t Robin the little sister of Roz?

    1. Digidestined of Trust (Tim)

      Roz is the little sister of Robin.

      1. Digidestined of Trust (Tim)

        And the most annoying of the two if I might add. At least Robin has class and decent character.

        1. bramblepatch

          Class? Robin?

          I mean, I love her dearly, but classy is not the word I would use for Robin.

        2. Jackson

          Oh, she has class all right.

          Namely, first grade.

        3. dchorror

          You could say she has more class than Roz.

        4. Plasma Mongoose

          I obviously haven’t reached the part of SP! where Roz becomes one of the most dispised characters yet as I haven’t finished my Archive Trawl.

      2. Plasma Mongoose

        Thanks! SO that means that it is Roz that is getting banged then, that clears things up for me.

        1. Haituri

          I’m reading everything you write with that avatar as snide and sarcastic. Excellent. 😉

        2. Plasma Mongoose

          Treating the grava like it is an emoticon huh? I do that too (depending on what sort of grava is used)

  21. Dierna

    The sister of a congresperson??? Im not sure if that’s Robin or not….I dunno. Kinda confuzled….

  22. Janette

    Either way, this is gonna be good.

    …I like Roz. I like all the unlikable girls it seems…and dislike the most popular. Something is really wrong with me.

  23. Shift

    I don’t know why but this comic seems more suited for Shortpacked! than DoA. Maybe its the one-shot feel about it.

    1. Strephon

      The name of the storyline is “Media Rumble”; I don’t think things are going to end here.

  24. Eposi

    If it is Robin… was she elected due to cad-berry cereal in this world?

    1. gangler

      Can’t see that it would do anything in this universe…

      1. Joebo

        Except give her diabetes.

  25. Krimson

    So the Jacob/Roz sextape somehow crossed universes?

    1. Joebo

      I direct your attention towards this comic. Roz taped her “encounter” with Joe.

  26. shoeboxjeddy

    (Yes I know the video is about Joe and Roz) Why is it retarded to fuck a famous person’s sister? Even if you’re videotaped? I mean, she’s clearly legal and it was consensual, so is it just the embarrassment of having a leaked sex tape? Wouldn’t that be the case even if she wasn’t a congressperson’s sister? Confusing…

    1. gangler

      Because the media will hound you like a dog. Wild and baseless accusations will follow you for ages, to the point that many people you meet will have strong negative preconceptions about you before you even introduce yourself. Not just socially, it’ll dramatically reduce potential employers. Anyone who thinks you’d reflect poorly on the brand. Anything where you have to work with the public. All those potential jobs are gone.

      You might also just have some modesty and not want your sex face to be the next hit on youtube. Some things don’t need to be seen by three hundred thousand strangers. Bangin some random chick isn’t gonna get near the number of hits that bangin bristol palin is. Unless you’re just that good of course 😉

      There’s probably more I’m not thinking of, but suffice it to say nothing good happens when you screw a politically relevant figure or his/her relative on video.

      1. Tom

        On the other hand…. think of all the reality shows you can show up on!!!

      2. Osaru Sensei

        Do one thing wrong (often of the sexual variety) in a life of neverending good deeds, and that will forever be what you’ll be remembered for.

        1. dchorror

          Gah! Stupid links.

        2. Jackson

          Man, those go to TV Tropes! Warn a fella first, please!

        3. gangler

          tv tropes is the reason I always look at the bottom of the browser to see where a link goes before I click it now. Every time I visit I’m stuck there for five hours,

        4. dchorror

          I normally do, just wasn’t thinking at the moment.

  27. Dahlia

    *facepalm* Oh Joe….someday you’ll learn….someday…

    On the positive side: I CAN’T WAIT TO SEE THE LOOK ON HIS FACE WHEN HE FINDS OUT ITS TALKING ABOUT HIM AND ROZ~! XD

  28. TheStranger

    I can’t see Joe using the word “Congressperson” unless said Congressperson is definitively female. He doesn’t strike me as women’s lib enough for that.

    1. Jackson

      That’s probably the word the newspaper article used.

  29. Horerczy

    By Danny’s face i’d say he’s seeing the video on his phone.

    1. dchorror

      That was my first thought, that he’d stumbled across the video and had suddenly seen more of Joe than he ever wanted to.

  30. Zem

    Um. Okay, but what’s with Danny’s expression? There’s no way he can guess, can he?

    Besides, I don’t see how it puts Joe in trouble. And shouldn’t he be high fiving the newspaper guy?

    1. Digidestined of Trust (Tim)

      I think he accidentally found it on his iPhone which may I remind you has YouTube.

  31. Alex

    Hmm…I’m a little lost here. What happened to “Dumbing of Age is its own continuity, with no story ties to any previous works.”? Clearly this strip makes no sense if I don’t know who “Robin” is. Little help for the new readers?

    1. David

      You don’t need to know who Robin is to understand this strip. All you have to know is that Joe banged a chick yesterday who filmed it, which is very solidly from this strip only. That is the only joke.

      (Ignore all these people.)

      1. Joebo

        WE SHALL NOT BE SILENCED!

  32. Injury Man

    And then we find out that Joe had sex with Regan’s little sister.

  33. agentksilver

    I’m more excited about Joe reading a newspaper than I am about anything related to the sex tape.

  34. sarpiedon

    Danny’s probably watching the video on his iPhone.

  35. Rachel

    I…I took far too long to get that…

  36. OmegaDez

    I’m completely lost. Anybody cares to enlighten me?

    1. Joebo

      No. But thanks for asking.

  37. Bunny Suction

    What’s up with the characters’ ages in this universe? In the Walky/Shortpacked universe I always assumed Robin was about the same age as the rest of the main cast but in this universe she’s old enough to be a congresswoman while they’re freshmen in college?

    1. dchorror

      You only have to be 25 to run for congress. Even at five to seven years older than the rest of the main cast, that isn’t a huge gap for someone you met at work as opposed to school.

      1. Rowen Morland

        Does that imply that because she wasn’t abducted she became a political prodigy? I guess Les was right about her potential genius.

        1. dchorror

          When she wants to be, she can be brilliant. Maybe if she didn’t have to worry about sugar crashing all the time, she’d be pretty quick witted.

      2. Bunny Suction

        I guess? Still feels like quite a stretch but I guess I’m nitpicking.

    2. taekwondogirl

      Well Robin was a senator when she joined Shortpacked! after fighting a war. Hard to fit that into a normal time span too?

      1. Joebo

        Here’s a concept, maybe it isn’t Robin. Or maybe, like Leslie and Jason, she’s a good deal older than the other cast members.

      2. Bunny Suction

        Nah, she became a senator during Shortpacked and the war was fought by a bunch of early-twenties kids (in It’s Walky)

  38. XLR

    oooooooooooh.

    It’s joe isn’t it?

    Does that mean Robin is still in congress in this comic?

  39. Kelsey

    GEE WHO COULD THAT POSSIBLY BE I WONDER.

  40. Henry

    In an amusing twist, Faz has been named a US Congressman, and is now related to Roz.

  41. Lis

    so even without her SEMME super powers she got elected… I’m scared.

  42. newllend

    Look like we found our dumbass of the day

  43. SgtNumnum

    How long until Joe realizes it’s him?

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

*

*

*

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.