186

Charged up
Posted on April 11, 2014 by David M Willis
Thanks to everyone who helped extend Saturday comic updates another year, and we're just $1.5k away from extending Sundays as well, as of this writing.  Before long, we'll be keeping our 365-day-a-year update schedule!

186 thoughts on “Charged up”

  1. Opus the Poet

    Right, she’s the scary one.

    1. Opus the Poet

      How the Hell did I manage that?

      1. StClair

        Nice ref.

    2. Plasma Mongoose

      Danny does pretty much give off an eazy prey vibe after all.

      1. nothri

        Oh, pppppppshaw. Like anyone has ever thought of Danny like that before. Oh, wait. http://www.dumbingofage.com/2013/comic/book-4/01-the-only-dope-for-me-is-you/friend-3/

    3. Tunaro

      The Scarousing one, to be more accurate. God I miss Futurama.

      1. lord foul

        I think you mean to be more precise,

        1. Clif

          One of those double standards. I mean to be more exact. You mean to be more pedantic.

        2. Lord foul

          Nice, very well played

    4. Ivan

      It’s Briscoe, right?

  2. Jay Eff

    Uh, oh – is Dan gonna meet Billie again??

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      AWWWWWKWARRRRRRD!

      1. SUGauthor

        Mere words cannot describe how awesome your current gravatar is.

        1. Plasma Mongoose

          Thanks, it has been quite a while since I have last used my Troll-Joyce grav.

  3. Thanks, I'll Have Another!

    *Shipping intensifies*

  4. LiamAldam

    Can’t wait to see that scene in a few months, especially with the Billie/Danny history!

  5. Doctor_Who

    Yay, Danny gets to go to Sal’s room and thus probably have a run-in with her roommate who not only did he reject, but who also thinks Sal is Amazi-Girl.

    This’ll be fun!

    1. Kernanator

      That last sentence sounds like sarcasm, but it isn’t.

      For us, at least.

      1. Jackson

        You know, I think there’s a song about that. Some kind of German word?

        1. Narf

          “Schadenfreude?”

    2. Plasma Mongoose

      Smells like comedy to me. :3

    3. Yotomoe

      Oh man. Danny in a room of two of his multi-verse lady friends.

    4. 3oranges

      Eventually Danny should be able to figure out Sal’s roommate is the reporter he rejected, Sal’s brother is going out with his ex, and she herself is his would-be girlfriend’s original nemesis. Then he will truly understand his place in the universe.

      1. John

        Billie already told Danny that Sal’s her roommate. Of course, in the same conversation, Billie also told Danny that Sal’s Amazi-Girl. And Danny told Billie that he’s dating Sal.

      2. Niklarean

        Punching Bag?

        1. StClair

          Lower…

        2. N0083rP00F

          So Punching Bag, though it may not be very effective.

      3. Roborat

        So, is Kevin Bacon mixed into there somehow?

  6. Jen Aside

    I dunno, Danny’s kinda scary how he manages to Dan everything up.

  7. KingMabel

    Not like Danny would try anything anyway…

  8. Pteropine

    Sometimes it’s easy to forget that Sal’s the scary one. It’s understandable because she’s not the one who’s become a verb. You don’t see people complaining that she Sals things up.

    1. Yotomoe

      She hasn’t climbed out of a window in forever. But when she does she will officially be “Sal-ing”.

      1. Doctor_Who

        Proper usage: “Man, I was so bored in class today, I just felt like Sal-ing away.”

        1. Flimsy

          I’m sal-ing away. Set a course to my, dormitory.

        2. hypatia

          Sal away, sal away sal away!

        3. Roborat

          Shut up Cartman.

        4. Starscreamer

          Hey! Screw you Kyle!

        5. Gadgeteer Smashwidget

          *muffled curse words directed at Cartman*

      2. Plasma Mongoose

        One word: Sal-E-vate!

    2. timemonkey

      Sal’s barely done anything in the comic. She drives around on her motorcycle, goes to math with Joyce and bangs Jason on occasion.

      1. Jen Aside

        She Salled Jason up pretty good? [or, not, because his ethics have greater sway than his crotch?] [[which WOULD be why he couldn’t keep Penny around, I guess]]

    3. MM

      Sal’s not a verb. She’s more like a state of being.

      1. Opus the Poet

        That would mean Sal is not an action verb, state of being is still a verb. (adjusts glasses)

      2. Roborat

        I would go with force of nature.

    4. newllend

      If anything Ambers the scary one now, did you see that look in her eyes when she was beating her Dad( not like he didn’t have it coming)

      1. John

        … and Ambering things up results in someone going to the hospital.

    5. John

      The difference between Danning things up and Salling them up is that Danny makes the kind of kinda-numb bad decisions that make you want to smack him and tell him to wise up. Sal, on the other hand, makes the kind of spectacularly bad decisions that all you can do is just stare at her agape.

      “I think I’ll follow my disinterested girlfriend to the state college instead of going somewhere better suited to my interests because my only ambition is riding her coattails.”

      “Ah think Ah’ll knock over a couple convenience stores with a knife because my parents don’t love me.”

      “I think I’ll make out with a girl who I couldn’t pick out of a lineup and then accidentally dump her because did I mention can’t pick her out of a lineup?”

      “Ah think Ah’ll fuck my T.A. in his shared office an’ then confront him publicly about it when he doesn’t fix my grades. An’ then fuck him again in th’ storeroom.”

      1. Fen_Star

        The diffrence is that sal is depressed and self destructive in a plea for help/ being noticed. Danny is just… danny.

    6. Deanatay

      Actually, ‘sally’ is a verb, meaning ‘to charge out of a besieged place’. I’m sure we could find an appropriate context…

      1. Jackson

        There could be a whole comic about her doing that! We could call it “Sally Forward”!

        1. Roborat

          Sally Forth just might have something to say about that.

        2. Boom

          As will Sally One! The original and still the best!

  9. Wonder Wig

    Danny is basically John Mulaney.

    1. Yotomoe

      The difference is I like John Mulaney!

      1. Boom

        The difference is I don’t know who John Mulaney is.

  10. Yotomoe

    Danny is like…the opposite of a threat. There’s butterflies that are scarier than him.

    1. Kernanator

      I’ve seen fluffy bunnies scarier than Danny.

      1. Doctor_Who

        “Lookit tha’ bones.”

      2. Badeyes

        You saw the one with the nasty, big pointy teeth and lived to tell the tale?
        You are therefore eligible for knighthood.

      3. Deathjavu

        I’m waiting for the inevitable reference off this that will make me sigh, shake my head, and put another tally in the “people did not understand why that was funny” column.

        So far that is the only column.

        1. Deathjavu

          Aaand unsurprisingly it actually happened while I was typing the comment.

          Absurdity’s not funny if you beat it into the ground, people. Even less so than other forms of humor.

        2. Badeyes

          You apparently haven’t caught on to the fact that we’re using absurdity for pilings here. Our foundation shall be made of snark.

        3. Clif

          Absurdity isn’t really funny until you beat it into the ground. Until then it’s just absurd.

        4. Roborat

          Are you sure about that, Family Guy seems to have made a career out of doing just that.

      4. Robin

        To be fair…

        1. Fen_Star

          daaaawwwwww……

    2. Fen_Star

      Dany, much like the butterfly, brings great misfortune via a clmplex and improbable chsin of events. He is threat level Omega.

    3. Gadgeteer Smashwidget

      Monarch butterfly caterpillars are TERRIFYING, yo.

  11. TrueVCU

    Sal’s know Danny for all of a few hours and already she knows how easily she could grind him under her heel.

    Luckily that is likely his fetish.

  12. Stephen Bierce

    “‘Come into my parlor’, said the Spider to the Fly”

    1. Yotomoe

      That allusion is perfect.

    2. Carlos

      “Come up to my dorm room” said the Walkerton to dumb Dan

  13. Mr. Random

    It’s like. Like the author’s trying to create drama.
    Either that or an alternate universe is affecting their decisons.
    Nah.
    Those are both ridiculous.

  14. newllend

    Free? What the fuck does she actually do the rest of the day, practice jumping out of windows or just ride up and down campus to show of her motorcycle.

    1. timemonkey

      Attend her classes?

    2. Yotomoe

      She’s banging your mom.

      1. arank11

        No, that’s Mike

        1. arank11

          For a nickel, I might add

      2. Roborat

        Your dad?

    3. David M Willis

      ….class?

      1. newllend

        Well that’s one thing and what Yotomoe said, anything else?

        1. GhostWriterL

          Having a life of some kind?

        2. John

          Makin’ out with Marcie, if Jen Aside’s gravatar can be believed.

        3. Clif

          I choose to believe it.

        4. Gigafreak

          It’s a backer reward for his Kickstarter. Pledge in the highest tier and get a doodle of two Dumbing of Age characters of your choice, making out, and the doodle will be shipped to your address.

          I wonder how Willis feels if someone commissions him to have two people make out this way, who would never make out in actual canon.

          I also wonder if we can have him ship the doodle to an address other than our own.

          …See, I kind of want to commission him to draw Mike and Jacob making out, and then ship that to Westboro Baptist Church, just to imagine their faces.

        5. -Sentinel-

          I’m guessing plenty of people have already subscribed them to gay mags.

          WBC-bashing is kind of like Twilight-bashing or Justin Bieber-bashing, in that at this point, there’s nothing you can possibly do that hasn’t already been done to death.

        6. Hotsauce

          I’m guessing there’s breakfast and lunch involved in there as well. How much more do think someone is going to do before 2:30 on a school day?

        7. Narf

          You seem easily confused by things, Newllend.

        8. newllend

          Only by things I find to be a mystery, like how she sneaks out every night to do God knows what.

  15. Charles Phipps

    This should end with Sal and Danny having sex. Consensual, very good, and surprisingly enlightening sex.

    1. Yotomoe

      Y’know. Cuz we haven’t broken Amber enough, yet.

      1. MM

        Maybe we can hook her up with Jason. She’s not taking that math class, right?

      2. Doctor_Who

        Has she donned clown makeup, become Sal’s archnemesis, and tried to patent a fish?

        Then we haven’t broken Amber enough yet.

        1. DEG1377

          I can’t tell if we suddenly don’t like Amber, or if we’re just sadistic enough that ANYONE suffering gets our goat.

          I think Willis is slowly training us into misanthropic, spiteful, sadistic, suffering-feeding monsters. In order to feed his own need to make us suffer through the suffering of his characters he is training us to actually ENJOY the suffering of others.

          It’s like a sado-masochism carousel.

      3. Badeyes

        If you can still see the bits there is more breaking available for the doing.

      4. Plasma Mongoose

        Also Billie needs to watch them doing it.

    2. Johnny Z

      Should end. Implying there was a chance it wouldn’t.

  16. someguywithakatana

    How does Willis just… set these situations up… for just… optimum awkwardness.. Seriously… so many things connecting and reconnecting and… BAH!!!

    1. newllend

      When your a master at story manipulation, you know just right path to take to get the reaction you want out of your audience

  17. timemonkey

    Danny continues to be incredibly unthreatening.

  18. Kernanator

    Looks like you’ve got your answer, Danny. Non-threatening, it is.

    http://www.dumbingofage.com/2011/comic/book-1/05-media-rumble/flirt/

  19. Miles

    Poor Dan, just when he was getting out of his Dannying phase fate is screwing him over again. For once this wasn’t entirely his fault… I mean yes he did give her the DS assuming she was someone else but now he’s just trying to be nice and before long Amber is going to freak again because Sal traumatized Amber when she was younger but he would have no way of knowing it and Dan’s life is becoming a greek tragedy.

    1. Badeyes

      Fate here has a name. Well, several if you count all the cursed nicknames.

      1. Clif

        Does Dammit count?

    2. DragonStryk72

      In Danny’s defense, his problems with Amber are mostly. Yeah, he missed the fact she’s Amazi-Girl, but aside from that, it’s all been on Amber. She could’ve opened up at any point, and Danny’s been nothing but understand, but she couldn’t do it, even when he was showing absolute proof that he would never cheat on her (stayed faithful to AG when he stepped back from Amber).

      His only really dippy decision was following his ex-girlfriend to college. That was just brick stupid.

  20. Cattleprod

    Eh, it’d be more awkward for her to write the room number on a piece of paper, like when people are negotiating in a TV show and they don’t feel like figuring out what a realistic price would be.

  21. Bill

    Alt text: “yeah it’s kind of awkward that sal doesn’t just say her room number but THAT IS A REAL ADDRESS THAT A REAL PERSON LIVES AT SO PROBABLY LET’S NOT DO THAT OKAY”

    Never would have thought of that myself, Willis.  Well played, and there is definitely a UI undergrad who, if they knew about this, would be thanking you for it as well.

    1. Reboot

      Why not just go the Conan Doyle route and give a number higher than (or in some other way altered from) the real room numbers from before?

      (Back when Sherlock Holmes was originally being written, Baker St didn’t have building numbers as high as 221.)

      1. Bill

        Because everything else he’s drawn is drawn from life.  For example, when Amazi-Girl delivered the beat-down to her dad at the AAA office next door to the McDonald’s, Willis’ background art was almost a perfect match for the Google street-view of that location.

        I’m surprised that in almost four years someone hasn’t already cosplayed Joyce or Walky or Amazi-Girl and then gone to the exact location to recreate any given scene or panel in live-action.

        1. StClair

          that we know of.

        2. Bill

          I’m sure there would have pictures and they would have surfaced by now.

        3. Jen Aside

          Yeah, who wouldn’t do that and GLOAT about it??

    2. Kevin

      Really, how many people living in that area do you think would read DoA and go harass the person living in that room? I could at best see one or two people peeking into the hallway and going “yep, that looks like his backgrounds”.

      1. TJ Baltimore

        If I ever find myself on that campus, that is *exactly* what I’ll be doing.

    3. Gigafreak

      I’d think that since Sal usually enters and leaves by the WINDOW, it’s been some time since she’s seen her DOOR, and she may have simply forgotten her actual room number by now– she’d only need it the first few times to identify which window was hers.

      But then Billie asked her to stop doing that, but then Sal asked nicely to keep doing that, so I forget if Sal still enters/leaves by that route.

    4. Roborat

      Or he could have just made up a fictitious number.

  22. Deathjavu

    Oh Danny. Amber and Sal would never be threatened by you because both of them could throw you around like a football.

    1. MasterAlthalus

      I’d ship that game of catch. ;D

  23. Mike

    Amber is going to catch Danny in Sal’s room. The story ends in a mushroom cloud.

  24. newllend

    Could you imagine what it would be like if Sal actually started to have a thing for Danny.

    Walky:” Hey Sal turns out your new crush is my girlfriend’s Ex.”

    Sal”Really? Damn that uncomfortable.”

    Walky:”I know riht?”

    Sal: “looks like ya’ll just haft to stop dating Dorothy then.”

    Walky:” ya I guess so- wait what NO!

    Sal: “Can’t even let me have this can ya.”

  25. Ancestral Hamster

    Hey, there needs to be a tag for “Shadowy figure sitting on sofa.”

    Also, wild speculation on the significance of aforementioned shadowy figure and role in the plot needs to take over the comments.

    My speculation is that the shadowy figure is the evildoer who is behind the current decline on pork production in the U.S.A. By depriving Galasso of cheap bacon for the “Carnivore Special” pizzas, Galasso will go out of business, demoralizing the students of IU and forcing them to resort to cannabalism (i.e. “long pork”) to find a bacon substitute.

    1. John

      Your speculation has a critical flaw, to wit: I don’t see how anyone working to foil Galasso’s plans could be considered the evildoer.

      1. Ancestral Hamster

        You missed the part about “behind the current decline on pork production in the U.S.A.” Everyone in the U.S. who eats pork will pay higher prices. Anyone who makes me pay higher prices for a BLT or bacon cheeseburger is a evildoer in my book!

    2. MasterAlthalus

      By the by, It’s just called “LongPig” not “Long Pork”.

      1. Wack'd

        and you know this because

      2. Jerden

        Actually, a quick google search would inform you that both terms may be used. Although it’s best to just say “human flesh”, otherwise you may accidentally order giraffe.
        True story.

        😉

    3. TJ Baltimore

      Yeah, in three years we’ll find out that this was a pivotal moment in the characters’ history, and “shadowy figure sitting on sofa” will be retroactively tagged. Scores of people will claim to have predicted it, and they will link to these comments as proof.

  26. caesaria82

    Oh crap, I’m really starting to ship it now. I thought I could resist, but nooooope.

  27. WaveRocker

    Well I for one still want Danny n Amber to happen. I feel like Sal would be carrying his balls in her non-existent purse after a week of them being together.

    1. WaveRocker

      …Also because Amber and Danny are my favs and that’s enough reason to set sail

      1. C.W. Roden

        I share your shipping.

        1. Kiggy

          Me Too :3

    2. Opus the Poet

      While Danny/Amber would be the more stable pairing (unstable enough for volumes of drama, mind you) the Danny/Sal has more immediate opportunities for immediate comedy. Also Danny getting his brains banged out, perhaps literally. 😉

    3. David

      A non-existent purse seems like the perfect container for Danny’s balls.

  28. Idon'tcarenomore

    While Sal is for sure the scary one and also has an interesting slant on economics, ie getting Danny’s DS and free math tutoring, Danny is getting something.

    Time with Sal.

  29. SilverArrowArtemis

    In some places, this is what we call a ‘booty call’.

  30. TheRealAllPurposeGuru

    Thanks for the note as to why Sal doesn’t just say her room number. Makes perfect sense, and shows you to be a very responsible person. (might tell Maggie, good for some wife points.)

    Of course, I had to wait for your explanation as to why Sal was saying that… because I’m dense and also scrabbling for those aforementioned wife points.

    1. begbert2

      The joke’s on Willis: one of these years (possibly right now!) there’s going to be a person on the third floor named Sal Walkerton and they will be INUNDATED WITH CALLERS. There is no escape!

      1. David M Willis

        Joke’s on you! Nobody has that last name!

        1. Baker

          There are Sally Walkers though… There is even a children’s game/song with that namesake! Any fans upset because they wouldn’t or sent an incendiary device to a real life address should probably force Willis into playing it at the next big con. <A href="https://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20080906190451AANbGi6&quot; “Lil’ Sally Walker”

        2. Baker

          Also I suck at tags.

        3. MasterAlthalus

          Stalker-block level: Willis

        4. Clif

          Nobody Walkerton? Are they related to Florence Emily Walkerton? http://www.mundia.com/au/Person/35881139/20435365268

        5. Roborat

          Really? That is surprising. There is a town in Ontario with that name, and I always assumed it was named after somebody.

        6. Kladeos

          There are other people here from Ontario?

        7. Alan Lafond

          I am. I’m in Belleville, Ontario.

        8. Kladeos

          Woah! I lived in Kingston for 5 years. All I know of Belleville is that it looks sketchy at night from the window of a Coach Canada bus…

        9. Norah

          Hey, there’s a town in Indiana named Walkerton!

          http://www.walkerton.org/

        10. David M Willis

          That’s what Walky is named after. I grew up ten miles from there.

        11. Clif

          The towns in Indiana and Ontario were indeed named after someone. That someone was named Walker in both cases. Walker town. Walkerton.

          There are however people with the name Walkerton, there just aren’t very many of them.

        12. Roborat

          And now we know.

          (Cue rainbow)

  31. Some Dude

    I am conflicted as to whether Danny should totally hit that banging chick (who clearly has a thing for skinny white dudes), or whether he shouldn’t in Amber’s interests. I feel like for his own esteem he could probably use a little of what Sal’s selling.

    If Amber weren’t being dumb and just talked to the boy she likes we would not even have a dilemma here.

  32. Tahkuya

    Sal don’t give a fuck how strongly worded the note Danny leaves in her room is.

  33. Lawzlo

    Obviously, Sal lives in Room 237. Her roommate’s a crazy old ghost lady.

    1. Lawzlo

      Disclaimer: I don’t know if a real Room 237 exists, but don’t go there, okay?

  34. DragonStryk72

    I get that Sal is a strong personality, but actually, so is Danny. He has no problem flirting with Amber off the bat, and he cuts the cord the second he realizes that he has feeling for Amber, due to having a girlfriend (Amazi-Girl, but still).

    Actually, that’s really the problem with Danny, when you get down to it: He’ll do what he believes is the right thing, regardless of any argument against it(like reality, common sense, etc.). Yeah, his observational skills are lacking, but really, that’s just because of how focused he gets on what he wants.

    1. drs

      Starring DANNY as Stannis Baratheon.

    2. Jerden

      I think that’s probably also his best quality.
      Damn best qualities, they always get in your way.

  35. indignostudios

    I sense a Dan/ Billie/ Sal threesome in the near future. I’m looking at your slipshine page, Willis.

  36. Kevin

    Willis, a suggestion, a good modern way to handle the “how do I mask the address” question is “I’ll text you the room number so you don’t forget”

    Wait, that would require she know his cell number. And he can’t give it to her out loud or we’re just repeating the same problem… hmmm…

    I guess either she would have to take his cell phone and put in her info?

    Eh, I’m overthinking this. Let’s assume she told him to use the directory because she doesn’t actually remember the number of her room. I forget the numbers of all my classrooms as soon as I learn their locations.

    1. Kevin

      Why is there an either in that sentence? I am too tired to do things.

    2. Baker

      She could have just ripped off a piece of her math paper and handed him her room # on that. That would also have prevented rabid Dumbing of Age readers/slashers from hurting real life Indiana University residents, but not sounded super weird.

      1. Clif

        You don’t go ripping a piece off of something you’re going to frame.

        Unless it’s like, you know, a person or something.

        There are real life Indiana University residents? Next you’ll be claiming that Indiana is a real state instead of something made up for the Dexter and Monkey Master show.

    3. Norah

      They used to use numbers starting with 555 for fake numbers. I’m not sure if people actually have those kinds of number now though. Probably.

  37. bodmans

    Willis, why cant I support the kickstarter through paypal? I dont have a creditcard…

    also, DANNY, it’s a trap!

    1. Jen Aside

      It’s a Kickstarter problem. The issue crops up with EVERY project, people who wanna PayPal instead.

  38. thelastnerd

    Why not just give her a nonexistent room number?

  39. Wasted

    They gon’ bang.

    1. Red Robot

      If they do, the hottest girl in the DOA polls will be banging the two dudes in the bottom of the dude’s rankings. I don’t know how to feel about it.

      1. Clif

        Empowered?

        1. Roborat

          Good comic, but I don’t see the relevance here.

      2. Jen Aside

        I just noticed that said choose TWO. I only picked one =(

        SOMEBODY LOST A VOTE Nooooooo

  40. Triniking

    I’m impressed Danny can handle Sal’s spiritual pressure so well.

  41. zaratustra

    “My room number is 555-5555.”

    1. HAB

      that’s also my phone number.

      1. Jen Aside

        I thought that was KL5-5555.

  42. John Cabot

    oh no i ship it

  43. jwhistle

    I haven’t played Mario Kart 7, but don’t a lot of the Mario Karts save ghost data in time trial? Maybe Danny can watch the ghost racer.

  44. Jerden

    Okay, I’m predicting that nothing at all romantic or sexual happens between the two of them… yet.

  45. asmcint

    Gah… Danny/Sal or Danny/Amber… WHICH ONE IS GOING TO HAPPEN!? Also…

    DAMN YOU WILLIS!

    1. Jen Aside

      …”or”?

      1. indignostudios

        Maybe Sal will go for Amber, then Danny and Mike will go at it. All kinds of hatefucks.

    2. gangler

      Danny/Amber already happened? There’s not really much mystery there.

  46. Bill

    WOOT!!!!
    Kickstarter is over $30K, which means that seven-days-a-week updates for the next year are unlocked!!!
    YEAH!!!

    1. Bill

      Hey Willis — when you say that your buffer us up to July 14th, is that allowing for the Saturday and Sunday updates again, or were you assuming that you’d be going back to a 5-updates-a-week timeline?

      1. David M Willis

        I assumed I’d be able to kickstart the updates, and so I just uploaded them 7-days-a-week ahead of time so I wouldn’t have to delete and renumber and reupload and retag and rehovertext three months worth of comics. A smart decision, one of my few!

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