Settlers
Posted on October 5, 2011 by David M Willis

321 thoughts on “Settlers”

  1. Jen Aside

    Well played, Joyce.

    Except that it’s Catan [Canaan].

    1. Drake

      Actually, it’s both. Settlers of Canaan is a spin-off of the original Settlers of Catan.

      1. Firekeeper

        An ILLEGAL spin-off of Settlers actually. I live two blocks away from Mayfair Games, my cousin is friends with the owner, and thus, I know these things. Also, Settlers of Canaan sucks. Played the copy that was used in the trial.

        1. Aisling

          Actual it’s legal under derivation laws, as long as they use all their own material and stuff.

        2. Monochrome

          Which is also probably why it would also kind of suck.

    2. truelight86

      Jesues does indeed have her back.

      1. RodneyMack

        Like the Jesus my love for Joyce grows more with each day* *day=comic*

    3. Asuka L.S.

      How is it that you get first comment so damn frequently?

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        S/he must lay in wait to click on the HOME button in the DoA site at 0:01 New York time just so they can post the first comments.

        1. Asuka L.S.

          Well, s/he should stop being so darn greedy and let ME win once in a while. T__T

        2. Plasma Mongoose

          You just need to do the same thing as Jen Aside, I already achieved the first comment status a few times so I’m not so worried about it anymore.

          Good Luck!

          P.S: Don’t post a comment that says FIRST, that’s as uncool as dressing as Hitler at school.

        3. Ancestral Hamster

          When I first read your comment I thought you wrote, “UNDRESSING Hitler at school.”

          No, I don’t know where that came from, and if I did I wouldn’t explain it on a public forum!

        4. Jen Aside

          Win? o_O

      2. Wandering meme

        look on the bright side…

        ..at least she doesn’t say “FIRST!”

        1. Plasma Mongoose

          Exactly, s/he at least makes a worthwhile comment.

      3. PedanticJerkass

        Why is it that you care so much?

        1. Asuka L.S.

          Actually, I don’t. I’m just picking on Jen Aside for getting the first comment so much. I really don’t care at all. ^__^

      4. tahrey

        Probably some kind of RSS thing?

  2. Doctor_Who

    Please someone tell me Settlers of Canaan does not exist. I’m afraid to google it. It sounds a little too plausible.

    1. gangler

      Apparently it exists so hard it has a wikipedia article.

      1. Morac

        Here’s the article in question.

        1. Locke

          The hilarious thing, no matter how much I complain about Willis using the straw-man view on American Christianity, he all too often hits the nail straight on the head. The fact that that game exists should make me facepalm, but I’m too busy laughing my ass off to care. XD

        2. Historyman68

          Willis grew up fundamentalist Christian, so it’s fair to say he’s had enough first-hand experience to limit the “strawman” aspect.
          For example, this comic has two very religious Christians with two very different viewpoints, something you probably wouldn’t see if they were strawmen.

        3. David

          I always find it amusing that when I faithfully recreate my own experiences, they are apparently a strawman. I guess I am just a living strawman or something.

          Or maybe folks just don’t know how to use the term correctly, I don’t know.

        4. abb3w

          So, can you sing “If I Only Had A Brain”?

        5. Aydr

          Don’t worry Willis, you’ll figure it out once Dorothy and the Wizard get you that brain.

        6. Asuka L.S.

          How about a little fire, Scarecrow?

        7. alex

          i don’t know why, but the avatar makes that 10X funnier.

        8. Aydr

          Goddamn I want that avatar

        9. George

          Poe’s Law cuts both ways- your real experience of fundamentalism is clearly indistinguishable from parody to a large group of people.

        10. Plasma Mongoose

          Is that a fancy way of saying that his life is a joke? 😛

        11. Locke

          I mean, don’t get me wrong: I’ve encountered plenty of people that are shades of Joyce myself. Didn’t mean to totally insult you or anything. And this strip wasn’t Strawman at all, really, since that game totally exists and I’ve been to churches as a kid where they’d probably have played this in Sunday school. Other strips came across a bit exaggerated to me, but not this one, so, sorry, I won’t bring it up unless I have something specific to gripe about. 😛

        12. Crimson Magic

          If you didn’t want to insult him, perhaps you shouldn’t have said you think he has a “straw-man view” on Christianity.

          Just a thought.

        13. Richard

          Any sort of exaggeration is totally unacceptable in a comedic setting!

        14. adius

          No, your whole life is just a big left-wing character assassination conspiracy against the right.

        15. Zem

          Something can be true to reality and false in writing, just as someone can write a complete lie and tell a complete lie. I think some famous writer said something similar once.

        16. Ray

          Christians that take their faith this far over the top do exist, of course. The straw man part is when people believe that all or even most Christians across the entire country are like this. (Usually followed by bigoted arguments of how harmful this is and therefore atheism is better.)

      2. Wandering meme

        AWESOME!

    2. iSaidCandleja-

      The game is awesome. Do not be afraid. Unless you play the Seafarers of Catan expansion.

      1. iSaidCandleja-

        My bad, I see you we talking about Canaan, which also exist but is far less popular.

        1. Mkvenner

          It’s the Christian version of Settler’s of Catan (which came firts).

        2. Rognik

          Heresy! Settlers of Canaan came first, because God is in it! Saying that a secular version came first will poison our children’s mind. I demand this be taught in our schools!

          (Yes, this is totally a joke. I’m being intentionally ignorant.)

        3. wererat2000

          but if it’s intentional, is it still ignorance?

      2. Ancestral Hamster

        What’s wrong with Seafarers? Only played it once, so I don’t have much to go by, but it didn’t seem that bad. Or is this one of those things that you discover on the 3-4th play-through that there is only one winning strategy, and once you discover it, the game is unplayable afterwards.

    3. Christopher Clark

      It does, indeed, exist. From the sounds of it, it’s similar to the Cheops scenario from the first Historical Scenarios expansion. Just with the wall of Jerusalem instead of the Pyramid.

    4. fellixe

      You think that is bad, on a long drive through Idaho I remember stopping deep in Mormonia and finding there “Who Wants To Be A Celestial Heir?” No Regis on the box, thank the Spaghetti Monster.

      1. Ani Bo Bani

        We also have a Settlers of Zarahemla.

        1. Ani Bo Bani

          Oh and also Celestial Pursuit and Mormonopoly.

        2. fellixe

          Probably no Mormon Connect Four, I’d bet. There’d be too many fights started over who got to use the golden disks.

    5. Valdrax

      It does. I have seen it with my eyes in stores as well as Settlers of Zarahemla, a Mormon variant. From what I’ve read, they add the side goals of building the Wall of Jerusalem and the Temple of Zarahemla, respectively, which works a lot like building the longest road or largest army.

    6. ray

      I actually own it…

  3. Plasma Mongoose

    COCK BLOCKED!

    1. Morac

      She totally just built a settlement right in the middle of his road!

      1. Wandering meme

        that’s our joyce! She’s a proactive cock blocker!

        She’s practically wearing that chastity belt from “Robin Hood: men in tights!

      2. Jarnor

        That is friggin’ beautiful, that analogy. Almost as sad as me getting it.

        BTW, Canaan is a really fun version of Settlers.

    2. Inara

      and by what appears to be Sidney Yus, no less – quality!

      1. Mkvenner

        No its the masturbater.

      2. Rognik

        I thought there was a distinct similarity, but the nose is WAY too small. Unless a giant schnoz is her alien power.

    3. David Herbert

      I still find it creepy that they kind of look like they could be related.

    4. wererat2000

      but when you stop to think about it, he was literally asking for it.

    5. Valdrax

      I love that she did it completely innocently.

      Also, he moves fast. I thought he was going to sucker her into sex more slowly over time; I wasn’t expecting him to try to corner her in a room and make a move that night. Wow, what a douche! (Not that the longer way is any better, if I want to be rational about it.)

      1. alex

        you… have no idea what’s in the water, do you?

        1. Valdrax

          It never even occurred to me that the drink might not be his, since Joyce already has one.
          To be fair, though, I’ve never been on either side of a mickey nor known anyone who was (to the best of my knowledge).

        2. fellixe

          It looks like the only other drink in the room is on the other side of the board from her, so it probably belongs to one of the two faceless players.

        3. Valdrax

          I just assumed she still had the Sierra Mist from earlier somewhere.
          (Pick, pick, pick!)

      2. Aydr

        This guy was only interested in enough time to get the most dubious version of consent he can cut his corners to. If even bothering with any form of consent at all. Honestly, no offense meant, but it kind of scares me how naive some of the readers of this comic are…

        On the plus side, go Joyce! You just managed to completely circumvent a potential rape situation without even realizing anything was wrong whatsoever. Let’s hope this is the end of Ryan’s sleaziness (That said I’m fully expecting him to get frustrated and to force himself on her at the end of the night only to get beat down by Amazi-girl/Sarah/Billie/Dorothy/maybe even Roz or Ruth).

        1. Henry

          For ultimate awesomeness, if that were to happen, Joyce should exercise her face-punching skizzle again.

        2. turkishproverb

          I’m hoping half these gameplayers become regulars.

        3. Blob Marley

          I’m 93% hoping they turn out to be serious tabletop gamers. They can get Joyce into The Dee And Dee. Then her parents can freak out because DUNGEONS AND DRAGONS – SATAN’S GAME!

        4. fellixe

          Wouldn’t be the first I’ve heard of a DM allowing for a Cleric of Jesus to be rolled up.

        5. Aydr

          That’d be awesome.

          Mostly, since, ‘yaknow, there’s other gods, and rules and restrictions on what her god can cover… Love to see a DM explain that to Joyce.

        6. artemi

          “Other gods? You mean heathen mongrels that I can turn to the path of light and redemption? AND they have demonic spawn that I can save innocents from, banish to the Abyss, and I can call upon angelic aid from the Lord to help me fight? Ok, sounds good.”

          “You mean my Lord expects me to rely on my own strength, facing my fears with his name and Holy Spirit to guide and help protect me? Yes, I suppose he’s not going to win my fights for me; that’s my own cross to bare.”

          …You aren’t very good at this, are you?

        7. Jacob

          Still gunning for Ruth being the one to kick his ass

    6. Undrave

      Welcome to college Ryan! You can ALWAYS find people willing to play a good boardgame XD

      1. katzgoboom

        Is that a bad thing? ;P The best games of Catan are played completely on a whim.

        1. Undrave

          No, I just think Ryan didn’t expect her to find anyone willing to play at a college party.

          He was mistaken.

        2. katzgoboom

          I’m guessing Ryan is a freshman.

        3. Aydr

          That’s one damn bold Freshman, to be attempting date rape the first week of school.

        4. katzgoboom

          I’m just saying, he clearly hasn’t had any experience on a college campus if he honestly doesn’t expect people to want to play Settlers. It’s probably one of the most popular games to play on my campus.

          Then again, he probably wasn’t expecting her to take the initiative. He knew enough about Christianity and Christian girls to know how to dupe one, so he probably assumes that she’ll be totally submissive like All Good Christian Girls are “supposed” to be (but rarely are).

          What I’m saying is, clearly this boy is a sociopath, and a terrible one at that.

        5. 47

          Either that or he didn’t realize there were actually board games available.

        6. redneck

          I always try to get a girl to come with me on her own as fast as possible, on any excuse or no excuse whatsoever. They are markedly more inclined to sex when no one else is around. I thought every male did that.

          I don’t think Joyce would have been date raped, but she might well have had trouble controlling her lustful nature.

      2. habap

        That’s one of the amazing things about college. No matter how odd you felt in high school, there are probably 20 to 100 people in your college who are odd in exactly the same way you are. That is, you actually aren’t odd and college is awesome because of it. (Mine was 20+ years ago, so it’s not youthful enthusiasm guiding me here.)

        1. Björn

          Just wanted to say, I love your cavalier avatar. My dog looks just like that!

        2. habap

          Our Henry makes a great avatar. I miss working from home, since he could snooze on my lap while I worked.

  4. arjay2813

    darn, I was hoping Amazi-Girl was going to give him a beatdown though there is still time for it

    1. Malph

      It can still happen. This just saves Amazi-Girl the trouble of having to foil his evil plot too.

  5. Alex Stritar

    Oh Joyce, how we love you naivety. (And Catan, I also love Catan)

  6. David Herbert

    Hooray, she’s made friends.

    Aww, Billie’s gonna be lonely when Joyce is gone.

  7. Stephen Bierce

    *plays the Cars’ “Let’s Go” on the Muzak*

  8. Another Commenter

    That’s +1 victory point for Joyce and -1 victory point for Ryan.

  9. iSaidCandleja-

    This is EXACTLY how I spent my freshmen parties, even down to me being the only sober player.

  10. Mkvenner

    No Idea what just happened?

    1. isitsevenyet

      Joyce apparently took some initiative in finding people to play the board games. Ryan wasn’t counting on that, it seems.

      This strip actually made me giggle a little, for how much Joyce is completely unaware of what Ryan was trying to do (not that I blame her, it’s not like any of us can read minds), and inadvertently ruined his plan. 😀

      1. Mancuso

        At this point, I wouldn’t bet on Joyce being completely unaware. I’m starting to believe that Jesus does have her a… I mean back, covered.

        1. isitsevenyet

          Hmm. Or perhaps she thought, “What if he can’t find anyone else? It might be a bad idea to be in a room alone with him, might look bad, so I should ask around too just in case.” 🙂

        2. N0083rP00F

          It is more than likely that Joyce being Joyce that she decided to be helpful and helped to find others wanting to play.

  11. Socks

    hahahaha i love joyce XD

  12. Kaylee

    Can the guy with facial hair please be a character? Please?! He will be my favorite!

    1. XMD

      Seconded, and he needs a bongoin’ jetpack that shoots puppies.

      1. Mkvenner

        Third.

        1. ALostProphet

          Fourthed.

        2. Fred

          Fifthed.

        3. turkishproverb

          Seventhed.

        4. iSaidCandleja-

          Eigth’d.

        5. Drake

          I disagree, but 9th’d.

        6. TheBenenator

          I get that six is afraid of seven, but not even showing up for work? Shameful.

          *drags six in*

          Sixthed.

          *hops there isn’t a Revenge of the Sixth movie now*

        7. Blob Marley

          The sixth is a movie I’d okay with revenging. It’s just that revenge of the turd movie that I have a problem with.

          Also, bongoin puppy jetpack, but the puppies are on fire.
          Adorable Miyazaki-style fire, nomming on coals and being cute.

        8. Seerow

          Fifthed. Especially the puppy shooting jetpack part.

        9. Plasma Mongoose

          Replace puppies with Tasmanian Devils and I will 10th it.

        10. madelgine

          I am delurking just to say:

          Eleventhed.

          *relurks*

        11. Jinxed44

          twelfthed
          Looked that sucker up and added a -ed just for this. ^^

        12. N0083rP00F

          Lucky 13 and I say Foxes ON FIRE that go Fwooosh.

          I love a good Fwooosh in the morning ….

      2. fellixe

        And he shall be named Scrappy, and when he launches into the air he will cry “P-p-p-puppy p-p-p-power!”

        1. Mkvenner

          Copyright infringement.

      3. Rex Hondo

        Just to clarify, we’re talking “shoots puppies” as in “uses puppies as projectiles” and not the other way, right? Because one way is awesome, the other way, not so much…

        1. habap

          Concur. Harm to puppies is evil.

        2. icepyrox

          but to get enough propulsion from puppies to lift off the ground, it really makes the other way more humane. Just sayin’

    2. NCP19

      He’s wearing a Hijinks Ensue shirt. I say he automatically gets in for being awesome.

  13. Cha

    Joyce: 1 Ryan: 0
    Sorry, Ryan, but Joyce prefers chaperones when she’s around boys. Just be happy it’s not Mike.

    1. Henry

      But if Mike were there:
      A) The game would be a whole lot more interesting, and
      B) There’d be face-punchings! EveryoneMike loves face-punchings!
      Sorry. I meant FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE-punchings.

  14. Dahlia

    Heh.

  15. Coppermouth

    Oh snap, it’s Groverfield! Quick, somebody sound the Joel alert!

  16. MM

    Should’ve picked a less extroverted mark, Ryan.

  17. Ragnal

    I don’t know what these things are.

    Nor do I have the energy to Google.

    1. ParadoX

      An awesome strategy Board Game. I’m bad with Genres, so other people correct me if I’m wrong.

  18. enigmaxtreme

    DATE RATE: DENIED!

  19. John Biles

    Joyce Wins This Round. 🙂

    Nicely played, Joyce.

  20. Yhelta

    /sarcasm
    Aww… Ryan’s chance to get all date-rapey just fizzled. I feel so bad for him.
    /unsarcasm

    Go Joyce! Catan him in the FAAAAAACE!

    1. Fred

      With your- no wait that wouldn’t work.
      For one clay?

  21. Finley

    Hold on- I think that we have a bigger question to ask about this strip. Is that the first appearance of DoA’s Sydney Yus?

    1. David

      Nope.

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        Is it Lucy?

        1. Bill M.

          I hope so. A one-off character about the DC reboot gets upgraded to partier with Joyce in DoA? Pure genius.

        2. Plasma Mongoose

          She certainly looks like her and we already established that she likes Teen Titans and board games, so it’s not hard to build up from there.

      2. Ribos

        Is that a “Nope” meaning it’s not Sidney, or a “Nope” meaning it’s not her first appearance?

        1. David

          When/if Sydney Yus appears in Dumbing of Age, it will be super obvious. I don’t have any plans for her, but if she were to show up, she wouldn’t be happy in front of a board game. She would be screaming and shaking her fist in rage.

          She would also look more like Sydney Yus.

        2. Linkara

          You should totally defy expectations and have Syndey Yus as the sweetest, biggest supporter of other people in Dumbing of Age.

        3. Mkvenner

          seconded.

        4. MM

          But now we’ll be expecting it!

        5. Mkvenner

          Quiet you.

        6. Corlanthis

          But as long as she still milks the giant cow in fits of passionate enthusiasm, I’ll be happy!

        7. Aydr

          I’m starting to get disturbed by how easily people mix up your minority characters, Willis. I’m not just flattering you when I say she really doesn’t look like Sydney at all.

        8. Joe

          To me, it looks like she could have been Sidney if she wasn’t smiling.

      3. Mkvenner

        Oh, thank God!

    2. Jetstream

      Hair’s wrong.

    3. captainswift

      Sydney has a much bigger nose than that.

      1. Sir Robin

        It could be Sydney, she starts off nice but snaps when she loses a board game to Joyce and vows revenge

      2. ryan

        what if amazi-girl showed up and punched her in the nose? it would forever be swollen and sydney will vow to exact revenge on amazi-girl.

  22. Sri

    I think the other girl is the alternate Sidney Yus.

  23. brasca1

    For a second I thought Sydney Yus was there to play games, but she’s not identified in the tags.

  24. 47

    So this comic is pretty much just awesome.
    Probably the best way to resolve the situation without the comic becoming a good deal darker. Ryan probably shouldn’t have chosen someone quite so naive to try and trick, haha.

    I’m not surprised Joyce was able to find so many people though. My hall had epic games of Settlers freshman year.

    1. Ancestral Hamster

      Settlers didn’t exist when I was in college, but we did play a lot of .

      1. Ancestral Hamster

        Guess I got the tags wrong. The sentence should have read: Settlers didn’t exist when I was in college, but we did play a lot of Titan.

        Here’s the link: http://www.boardgamegeek.com/boardgame/103/titan

        1. N0083rP00F

          Hey, I still have that somewhere in one of my banker-boxes of Avalon Hill / SPI / GDW games …

  25. ilvos01

    That’s what I was going to say, he looks like Ethan with Walky’s eyes and Joyce’s anomaly hair. Wait a minute… He looks like anomaly joyce with Walky eyes. Huh.

    1. Kaylee

      Their anomaly child?
      (shivers)

      1. Kaylee

        Oh man, can you imagine Walky pregnant?

        1. ilvos01

          You broke my brain. Also, I think there’s a site for that. Ew.

        2. Aizat

          My brain, IT BURNS!!!

    2. ilvos01

      And Dorothy looks like Amber!

      1. ilvos01

        So does Amazi-Girl!

  26. Joe H

    Settlers of Catan=all of a sudden, I want to date Joyce

    1. Asuka L.S.

      No. Mine! MINE! *growls*

    2. Jackson

      I’d be content just to play a few games of Settlers of Catan with her.

      Unfortunately, Joyce is a fictional character who does not exist in the real world, so I guess I’ll just have to play Settlers with actual human beings.

      1. Asuka L.S.

        She’s a fictional character? OBJECTION! The witness’ testimony is irrelevant!

    3. Björn

      Joyce + that sweater + sitting on the floor + playing Settlers. I could not imagine a more perfect date. Except for that whole Christian fundamentalist thing… 😉

  27. The HellJack

    Well played, Brown. You win this round…

  28. Aizat

    Joyce:1
    Conman Delgado:0

    1. Aizat

      Wait, the guy already have a name? Oh man.

  29. Joebo

    You have just been Joyce’d.

  30. The Sound Defense

    I knew he’d come back with a glass of something.

    1. fellixe

      Good catch! Can’t wait for that shoe to drop. “Sit down, Ryan. Enjoy your drink.”

      1. N0083rP00F

        Now THAT is something I want to see.
        Hoist by his own Petard.

  31. Josh

    I…. I do believe you just inserted Joel Watson into the DoA canon. Wearing his own merch. Sneaky!

    1. David

      Joel Watson does not look like that!

      1. Josh

        Maybe he is wearing some kind of disguise. You know. To fit in with the younger folks. Or maybe I’ll give up on this and admit that all people with facial hair look alike to me.

        1. fellixe

          And he is not Sydney Yus, either.

        2. lawzlo

          Is he the Milkman?

          Are you the Milkman?

        3. Mysterious Stranger

          Yeah definitely not Joel. He doesn’t look bitter enough.

        4. David

          He’s not drinking fruity drinks with Jonathan Frakes enough.

    2. Rex Hondo

      It’s not Joel Watson, it’s Jesus! Not only does he have Joyce’s back, but he brought Settlers of Catan!

  32. Janette

    Joyce is my favorite character. She’s trying to be social and make friends. At a drunken party.

    1. Locke

      And she’s succeeding, by the looks of it.

  33. Valerie

    OH JOYCE!

  34. iSaidCandleja-

    I will not be satisfied until I see him consume the drink in his hand. Even if it is just sierra mist, because that’s how much I trust him right now.

  35. yourfaaaaace

    Never heard of that game (either version) until right this moment. Guess that sort of thing happens when I spend two years in my dorm room reading Harry Potter fanfiction instead of socializing.

    1. Milosh

      Yeah I’ve made way better use of my time in college so far; I’ve decided to spend it *writing* fanfiction.

      I’ve, uh, I’ve never heard of that Settlers game either….

      1. yourfaaaaace

        at least you’re creating something!

      2. Ancestral Hamster

        If you’re interested …
        http://www.boardgamegeek.com/boardgame/13/the-settlers-of-catan

        And here’s one I was just introduced to this past weekend that I think is interesting: http://www.boardgamegeek.com/boardgame/36218/dominion

  36. Aizat

    The guy in the black shirt has an awesome looking mustache.

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      Hulk Hogan’s little brother?

  37. Locke

    Welp, looks like your plan failed, Ryan. But, hey, since it’d be a shame to waste good roofies, at least you can make sure to get a good night’s sleep later tonight, right?

    Also, I hope Sharpie-Beard Guy becomes a permanent character. You could strike a deal with the guys from Hijinks Ensue and use him to plug their merch every other strip. 😛

  38. Josh Miller

    True story, my first encounter with my current wife outside of work was at her house playing Settlers of Cataan (with her and her current boyfriend, before me).

    1. Aydr

      Miiiiiiiiiight wanna watch where you use the word current there buddy.

      1. Joe

        Then-current, I imagine.

        1. ryan

          “current wife”. i’m not married but i know better than to use those two words together. also, “current girlfriend”.

        2. isitsevenyet

          Unless it’s his second wife, in that context it makes more sense.

        3. ryan

          it still implies that it’s temporary. not cool.

  39. Ridureyu

    I wonder if Joyce knows waht’s up, and did this deliberately. It ALMOST seems like she wasn’t being stupid for a moment.

    1. Rex Hondo

      Definitely innocent and a bit naive, but not stupid, although I’m still pretty sure she has no idea what his real intentions were. Good thing she has a reality warping, virginity preserving Jesus-shield.

  40. Cholma

    Anyone want to trade 5 sheep for 3 ore? Anyone? Anyone? Bueller?

    1. Andy

      Insert wood for sheep joke here.

      1. iSaidCandleja-

        Mike inserted his wood in your mom. For wheat.

        1. Asuka L.S.

          Or a nickel.

        2. N0083rP00F

          That’s ore right?

  41. Ravux

    Ha ha ha BACKFIRE.

  42. Scotty Van

    I’ll say it again: Joyce’s idea of fun and partying really isn’t that different from many college students, and I’m really happy to see that reality reflected in the strip!

    1. Daibhid C

      Same here. My college parties generally involved Kill Dr Lucky or the Discworld card game Cripple Mr Onion. (I’d left college before the Discworld board game Thud was released, or we’d probably have played that as well.) Granted, this was the Science Fiction Society…

      Also, I love that Joyce thinks of the Canaan version as the “proper” one. It says so much about her.

      (On a totally unrelated note, I hear there’s a version of Thud that uses Swedes and Muscovites instead of Dwarfs and Trolls…)

  43. cetaceapuer

    Buy Settlers of Catan Now! 100% prevention of date rape guaranteed!

    1. N0083rP00F

      I prefer Block Party or one of its other iterations from Chez Geek.

  44. Digidestined of Trust (Tim)

    LOL! BLAMMO! Joyce unknowingly acquits the boys’ attempt! Better luck next time bud!

    Joyce does quite well in making friends pretty quickly!

  45. cmglothlin

    You go girl! Remember it takes a wood, a sheep, and a brick to build a cockblock.

    1. Digidestined of Trust (Tim)

      Don’t forget the Ten Commandments and the full armor of God, though it did seem Joyce’s armor was on low guard at that time. Good thing she’s Extroverted to the max!

      Yeah, this guy couldn’t be a preacher’s kid, breaking half of the TEN commandments AT LEAST! In just this strip!

      1. Heather

        … Have you ever actually met many Preacher’s kids? Seriously?

        Sure some of them are okay (and I’ve met one okay one) but the -vast majority- of the ones I met in my life were rebels to the extreme and knew they could get away with anything because of their father’s profession and peoples pre-judgements. And were dicks to boot (about one we met of the crazy bunch was a RELIGIOUS prick but there you go, the other crazies were not. Either way most of them got girls in trouble and got away with such crap because obviously the girl must have been ~lying~ about the sainted preacher’s son). As I said elsewhere my friends and I might have been unlucky (though at least my friend who dated them was never quite as unlucky as SOME of the girls they dated), but seriously, there’s no reason to suppose he’s NOT a preacher’s kid at all. Just because he’s not acting like the ‘model christian’ doesn’t mean a thing really.

        1. isitsevenyet

          Agreed.

          Also, I’ve heard being a preacher’s kid is hard because you’re expected to be “perfect”, and preachers typically have to live according to a higher standard than the rest of the church. So they’re not allowed to do some stuff that other kids in the church do, and that contributes to the rebellion. Kinda feel sorry for them, in a way.

        2. Digidestined of Trust (Tim)

          I know tons of preachers kids as I grew up in church with 3 of them as well as a few others preacher’s kids.

          I know how bad PK’s can be, my pastor’s youngest was sinking pretty low for a while up until just recently. Not going to go into the details of that.

          I agree that it’s a hard life to be a preacher’s kid. Never said it would be easy. It’s just none of the one’s I’ve known personally have never gone down that route, thankfully.

    2. Ryune

      Why exactly do you need sheep for a cockblock?

      1. Rex Hondo

        Consolation prize.

    3. Aydr

      Well really just the brick, it just goes between the wood and the sheep when they get too close.

      1. Rex Hondo

        I doff my hat to you, sir.

      2. N0083rP00F

        I would have thought TWO Bricks would have been more appropriate.

  46. James Rye

    Why did this strip remind me of Fluttershy? Particular the scene with Discord. XD

    1. Discord

      Confound that pony…

    2. Prospero

      *Brohoof*

  47. Leon

    Wah, wah, wah, waaaah.

    1. Asuka L.S.

      An appropriate sound effect, to be sure. Well played.

  48. CP

    So, is it more weird to have a Christian version of Settlers of Catan than it is to have a Star Wars version of Monopoly, or less?

    Or a Lord of the Rings version of Risk? Or a secular version of Christmas?

    1. Aydr

      Oddly, I hate stuff like Star Wars monopoly and LotR Risk, but Settlers of Cannan sounds endlessly amusing.

    2. Jacob

      I dont find any of those weird. Heck, I`d play all of them and I`m an atheist that celebrates Christmas. Besides, lets be honest, most Christians celebrate Christmas in a pretty secular way.

    3. Undrave

      I got a Transformers version of Risk.

      1. fellixe

        I have Spongebob Monopoly

        1. The Aussie Bloke

          I have a LotR: Return of the King Chess Set lying around somewhere. With the colours listed as ancient bone and antique bronze.

        2. Andy

          I have Star Wars Risk: Clone Wars Edition. I wish I could find the Original Trilogy Edition for less than $100, but that doesn’t seem to be possible.

        3. Sir Robin

          I have Transformers Monopoly … g1 to be more specific

    4. Andy

      Yes, because I’m a little confused on how Jesus gets his royalty payments.

  49. Historyman68

    The strip is bookended with closed-smile-eyes.

  50. NakedDumblydore

    Not that I believe in Joyce’s god, but thank Him!

  51. Conuzor

    I went to a christian school and I’ve never heard of either version of the game.

    Did I get out lucky?

    1. Ancestral Hamster

      It depends. If casual board games aren’t your thing, then you were lucky in that you didn’t get roped into an evening’s entertainment that bores you. OTOH, if you enjoy board games, then you’ve missed out. Speaking of the original Settlers, it is a light game with much replayability that many people find immensely fun.

  52. Beachfox

    MWAHAHAHAHA!

    I don’t know if it was deliberate on her part or not, but either way YOU GO, JOYCE!

    I am grinning so hard right now.

  53. Henry

    Why is the title of this comic not “Cockblock?”

  54. ShannAwesome

    This fills me with immense relief! Joyce is one of favorites in the universe and I was surprised to find how genuinely worried for her I was. Damn you, Willis!

  55. sun tzu

    Huh.
    At this rate, I’m starting to wonder if Joyce is going to come out of college without her naiveté EVER getting her in hot water.
    …
    Naaaah.

  56. Thomas

    I am dubious that Joyce was entirely oblivious to Ryan’s designs.

    1. Joebo

      I think you underestimate the power of Joyce’s naivete.

  57. Jeth

    Ah, Settler’s of Catan. A game that can be played using only 3 word sentences. “Grain for BRICK!”

    1. Sparks

      “Brick for FAAAAAAACE!”

      (Well, that’s probably about how Ryan is feeling right now.)

  58. Asuka L.S.

    Oh, I feel such a strong urge to burst into a fit of maniacal laughter that I just can’t resist!

    MU-HA-HA-HA-HA-HAAAAA!!!!!

    Of course I’m happy, but I wouldn’t be fully satisfied unless Jesus slammed the door down and twisted Ryan up in a German suplex, swiftly following up with the delivery of a dozen lightning bolts to his crotch. But I’ll settle for making him play a lame board game and drink his own Rufinol.

  59. Undrave

    Settlers of Catan is fun! So would be a good game of Carcassone! But when slightly drunk it’s more fun to play BANG!, especially when you use the Wild West Show expensin with that event where no one can talk and everybody tries to get the other players to break the silence :p

    1. JesseJanitect

      Settlers is awesome. Carcassarone is fun. BANG! is addicting. I also play Dixit, Dominion, 7 Wonders, Mansions of Madness, Betrayal, Battlestar Galactica, Saboteur, Ascension, Revolution, Munchkin, etc.

    2. narmenduke

      Drunk Settlers is pretty fun, too, if somewhat more difficult.

  60. saturnwonder

    Go Joyce!! It’s your birthday, not for real real, just for play play!

    *gets bricked*

  61. ScytheAkse

    HAHA FUCK YOU DUDE!!

  62. Romanticide

    Ehehe, this make me happy 😀 Go Joyce! 😀

  63. Steve Gearhart

    For a second there I thought I saw a drawn version of Wheezy Waiter…

  64. George

    I think Joyce just won the party.

  65. numaron

    And that is a win for Joyce.

  66. Deljay

    Never played either but this whole time i thought canaan was the only version. Also until today i was convinced that it was a Utah/Mormon/PioneerDay theme and not an Isreal theme…

  67. bramble

    See, Ryan, if you’re going to go trawling for homeschool girls, you really should have the sense not to go after the ones who are actually half-way socialized. Joyce can find chaperones anywhere.

  68. Heather

    Go Joyce!

    Even though she doesn’t know it, she’s at least delayed him, if not thrown him off entirely (I hope)

    I just hope his expression in the last panel means he’s not the type who is that attracted to ‘challenges;.

    (I am also fearful and curious as to his exact plan too though. I mean was he going to try plain old seduction or… something more sinister.)

    1. Moonshine McGee

      He came in with a drink. Use your imagination.

  69. J.J.Rocker

    yay mustache and chin-ness dude! You rock!

  70. Zoey

    WIN JOYCE!!

  71. Asuka L.S.

    I saw a lot of people playing this game back in college. I always wondered what it was. One guy had so many pieces for building boards that he easily could have covered the floor of a large room.

  72. Fayanora

    Okay… so what was he trying to do, that he failed at?

    1. Björn

      He was (probably) using board games as an excuse to end up alone with her so he could seduce her / take advantage of her.

  73. fellixe

    I didn’t get the picture of a jetpack with armaments designed for puppy hunting but I could be wrong. I envisioned a jetpack that used puppypulsion – a system that generated thrust for the wearer/pilot by way of the expulsion of puppies. Bad news for the pups used at liftoff, but at level flight as the pack is whomp-whomp-whomping it’s way through the air those puppies may have a fair chance of surviving. Especially over water.

    1. fellixe

      Oops. See puppy jetpack discussion above.

  74. DT

    Hooray! Joyce managed to socialize! And at a booze-heavy party, too! 😀

  75. Ryan

    That dude sitting there, that’s Mark isn’t it? Knew he’d find him eventually

  76. Kelsey

    Oh my god. JOYCE, I LOVE YOU.

  77. Spiffster13

    Joyce’s luck is seriously out of this world…

    Also I would love to play Settlers with her. 😀

  78. Charles RB

    EPIC WIN

  79. mccat

    Hope to see more of the no-names outside of this little arc, seems unlikely though. Pity about Ryan, he looks so adawwable in panel 2.

  80. Jackson

    I love that Joyce explains what Settlers of Catan is to him. As if he, as a pastor’s kid, never would have heard of anything but the Christian version as well.

  81. Richie9999

    Apparently this son of a preacher man is a bit naughty, Dusty Springfield would be pleased.

  82. Nakama

    Point : Joyce

    Love it.

  83. Richie9999

    Also, look at her gestures, like it ain’t no thang.

  84. Jake

    Unless they’ve got the 5-6 player expansion, looks like Ryan’s going to have to wait for the next game anyway. I count four heads around that board.

  85. Fauxlosopher

    Pwn.

  86. Caradin

    I certainly like this Joyce more than the Joyce from Roomies. She’s much more well rounded as a person and far more open to experiences than the original. She is also what I imagine my sister-in-laws will be like when they go to college… completely naive, not completely open to new experiences, but open enough that they’re not completely irritating. Joyce got on my nerves in roomies because I thought that Willis was making fun of people raised in a Christain up bringing. with this Joyce I can certainly see that he also grew up in the culture and isn’t just mocking it.

    I was raised in the baptist church and my dad is even a preacher. I felt kind of sorry for people like Joyce because they were so sheltered. They had no idea what dangers truly lurked around them. I look forward to watching Joyce mature… i hope she doesn’t give up her faith entirely, but of course, that’s up to Willis.

    1. Crimson Magic

      If I recall correctly, Willis has said that Joyce’s religion will not change.

    2. isitsevenyet

      I do, too. I definitely feel there’s more respect toward her religion and upbringing in this strip than in Roomies.

  87. sasilk

    Amazing game, have it for the PS3, my ipod touch, and the board game.

  88. zaratustra

    Settlers of Canaan is like Settlers of Catan, except there’s twenty desert squares and every other card is “Plague”.

  89. narmenduke

    Yay! Joyce knows how to play Catan! This makes me like her even more.

  90. PlutoniumBoss

    Ryan doesn’t know how lucky he is that his plans are being foiled. There are quite a few people, one or two of whom are actually present at the party, who would do serious damage to him for going there.

  91. Zem

    Joyce wins this round. But there will be other games.

    Joyce: Oh, you have other board games?

    …Shut up.

  92. zenofben

    I wish they’d had that game when I was at Sunday School! All we got to do was colour in loaves and fishes to ‘feed the multitude’ with, and occasionally get to make little model Jesus (not sure what the plural is) and stick them to palm crosses (which is a really disturbing memory thinking back on it).
    My scariest Christian encounter was accidentally wandering into my University’s Christian Union meeting as opposed to the campus Chaplaincy. The Chaplaincy was a warm friendly atmosphere whereas the CU meeting was in a huge tent where literally a hundred bright eyed evangelicals listened with eager smiles to a man telling them that only through trepanation could they allow the evil demons to escape their brains. I wisely dropped and rolled under the back wall of the tent before they started passing the juice around!

  93. Berky

    Settlers of Catan , a game you can

    “sunglasses”

    count on….

    YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

  94. phildog

    Haha, take that rapist.

  95. habap

    Why do so many assume he was going to slip her roofies or commit date rape? When he thinks of her as a “mark”, he may merely consider that his powers of seduction are unstoppable even without any chemical assistance. Despite not being handsome or charismatic myself, I was always angling for private moments with cute girls and had no intentions of date rape.

    1. iSaidCandleja-

      Because Sarah put Chekhov’s gun on the mantle?

      1. keyye

        +1 for influential literary references

      2. Rex Hondo

        TVTropes FTW!

    2. habap

      Looking at the comics following this one, it must have been that, since he tries to pawn off another Sierra Mist on her….

  96. HiEv

    Am I the only one wondering where she got Settlers from?

    I’m just going to assume it came from Mustachy McChinbeard, since he looks like the one most likely to have brought it. (Possibly his house?)

  97. TreeVor

    Am I the only person who thinks the guy in the Groverfield shirt looks like Wil Wheaton?

    1. rockyjrs

      you are not alone in thinking that

  98. Chrisby

    I would totally play Settlers of Catan with Joyce and Kris Straub.

  99. Fluttershy and Rarity are my OTP

    Ohhhh so that’s what he meant by ‘mark’.

    1. habap

      Unless Mustachy McChinbeard is named “Mark”…. but I’m sure even if he is, that he meant what you think he meant.

  100. moh!

    I love how excited the other players look, especially the guy with the epic facial hair

  101. Oh Hyep

    Man it would have been awkward anyways. Joyce and the guy have really similar hair. Probably half-brother/sister.
    Definitely.

  102. Miles

    I know Joyce is supposed to be a likable character, but every time she opens her mouth, I just want to slap her. In her FACE!

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      Turkeyslap her no doubt. 😀

  103. Sir Robin

    The dude sitting next to Joyce, he just seems to happy to be there … I hope we see more of him

  104. Kernanator

    Joyce is so naive, she wraps all the way around to genius.

    Also, I personally prefer a good game of Carcassone, Bang!, or Fluxx, but to each their own.

  105. Kong

    He just missed out on a Mike’s specialty knuckle sandwich.

  106. Jason

    Another vote for Facial Hair Guy becoming a character! Dunno why everyone’s keen on him, but he seems like a fun guy to hang out with!

  107. Brady Kj

    Ha! I was actually thinking the other day that Settlers of Canaan should be mentioned in this comic.

  108. Mishyana

    Dammit all, webcomic characters are able to get more people to play that game than me. W. T. F.

    1. N0083rP00F

      Just advertise or look for advertisements or just hang out at the local game / comic shop for a bit.

      Me I don’t have any of those within an hours drive >_<

  109. Kschenke

    I know someone else mentioned it already, but the Hijinks Ensue shirt is awesome. 😀

  110. domas

    And that is a win for Joyce.

  111. אינטליגנט

    The dude sitting next to Joyce, he just seems to happy to be there … I hope we see more of him lol

  112. Maycroft

    in the FAAAAAAAAACE

  113. monicaz

    love it to joyce to end all chances of premarital-hankey-pankey.

  114. Lis

    Wow how could I have not mentioned how awesome it is to find that many people willing to play Catan… then again it is more of the gateway game to more intense resource management games…. No I’m not a board game nerd I just…. uh play really intense boardgames

  115. newllend

    oooh, plans have ben foild

  116. wakeangel2001

    ugh, I hate settlers of catan, I could never draw any good resource cards and was constantly hamstrung. In the end I got so frustrated I just used my turns to randomly attack people and screw up their strategies until someone else won.

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