210

Grownup
Posted on September 29, 2019 by David M Willis
Cartoon Crossroads Columbus 2019 (CXC) is located within the dreamy halls of the Columbus Metro Library downtown, and you can find me at the upstairs exhibitor expo area today, Sunday, September 29, from 1pm to 5pm! I’ll have books and prints and magnets and myself at Table 26! some of you haven't seen Brooklyn Nine-Nine, huh

210 thoughts on “Grownup”

  1. Ana Chronistic

    At Joyce’s age, I would’ve been like, “Okay, sounds good to me! So what’ll y’all eat then?”

    *once was “not hungry” and still managed to eat all but one slice of large sausage pizza*

    1. Clif

      So you were a person of appetites?

    2. Screwball

      Yeah, I’ve seen that in action before. Daniel the Human has sunk 3/4 of a Tippy’s Titanic pizza, garlic bread with some drink. And for those who aren’t in Perth, Western Australia, that’s a pizza from Tippy’s Pizza in Kelmscott which is 1 meter in diameter, plenty of toppings, deep dish too if I remember right. It’s a Monster of a pizza…

      1. Miri

        … I want to know how much this weighs… And experience eating a slice of pizza a comparable length to my arm… And if she wouldn’t attempt to climb on top of it all the better to dig in, photograph my 21 month old next to one of those pizzas.

        It sounds like an experience!

    3. David

      I knew this skinny guy, beanstalk legs and figure, who bet he could eat two family pizzas (the bet was about who had to pay). Afterwards he said that the third one was more of a joke since he wasn’t actually hungry any more. No, it wasn’t me he bet against. I’d have known better.

    4. Ana Chronistic

      I meant to add, Joyce, it’s not actually a good idea to order a bunch of stuff you have no idea if you even like

      *recovering from eating a KNOWN allergen I was convinced was mild enough but has in the interim intensified to anaphylactic shock*

      1. Schpoonman

        If she were following Sal’s advice better (whatever you are, own it) she’d be fine.

  2. shadowcell

    MEANWHILE, AT THE HALL OF BAD DECISIONS

    1. Sambo

      *I am uncomfortable*

    2. StClair

      the Troublalert just keeps blinking, but no one answers.

    3. Reltzik

      …. where “everything” on the pizza includes pineapple. And pickles. Together.

    4. Deanatay

      Oh, thank Gawd, back to Joyce.

      AND MY SYMPATHETIC ANXIETIES

    5. los

      The Everything Is Ok alarm has fallen frighteningly silent

  3. Doctor_Who

    Okay, so at least we now know Jacob isn’t upset enough about this to actually want Joyce to die.

    1. Benwhoski

      Well, I mean, he’s been just as willing to play along with the ruse for the sake of getting his brother’s approval, so how upset could he possibly be?

      1. LeslieBean4shizzle

        I think the Doctor’s point was that Jacob is now actively attempting to help Joyce avoid a panic attack over pizza toppings. If he was actively upset with her, he might have chosen to let her suffer punishment via pizza topping to recompense the lie, but he did not, choosing instead to rescue her from deadly pizza toppings.

        1. Doctor_Who

          Exactly! I mean, there’s even a chance “everything” could include anchovies. Joyce would keel over on the spot.

        2. Michelle J. Caboose

          Anchovies? The smell alone would be enough to make me keel over on the spot. When I worked for Pizza Hut, one night we got a call for a large pineapple / anchovy / jalapeno. We had to open the back door and set up some fans to get that horrible odor out of the store.

          Needless to say, after that, I’ve never had any desire to have those vile things come anywhere near my mouth. (gags)

        3. Needfuldoer

          I don’t mind anchovies, but mushrooms are my Kryptonite. Fungus has no right being anywhere near pizza that’s less than two weeks old!

        4. Sunny

          What about gorgonzola cheese?

        5. LeslieBean4shizzle

          Mmm… gorgonzola, mushroom pizza sounds amazing.

        6. ǝ snow ʍousɐ

          And nobody would blame her for keeling over when faced with the prospect of eating anchovies…

        7. Reltzik

          Jacob strikes me as the sort of person who extends a hand even to people who he’s unhappy with.

        8. thejeff

          But that would also be embarasing to him in front of his big brother. Joyce ordering something simple would be fine. Joyce ordering something and then freaking out when it came time to eat it wouldn’t be.

    2. fire_daws

      Harrison approves of Joyce so Jacob’s going along with it. It’s not like he’s got a REAL actual girlfriend he can bring along, y’know a possible someone that Harrison might not approve of. *sigh* These two are going near the bottom of my disapproved of characters.

      1. Clif

        I like how thoughtful Jacob is in the midst of the crazy.

        1. David

          Orchestra of the Titanic. Drowning in style if drowning it is to be.

        2. Bicycle Bill

          That’s a fact.  During the actual event, millionaire Benjamin Guggenheim stoically sat sipping brandy with his personal secretary/valet Victor Giglio, declaring that “we have dressed in our best and are prepared to go down like gentlemen”.

          Nowadays, people would drown, even with lifeboats for all, because they wouldn’t be able to stop Instagramming or Snapchatting the disaster.

        3. SuperZero

          Yes yes, “technology bad” and “kids dumb.”
          Even though real-time recording of a disaster is immensely valuable and doesn’t really hurt your chances.

      2. TheWanderingMist

        One bad decision doesn’t make a person terrible. Consistent bad behavior is what should put someone at the bottom of your disapproved list, like: Dorothy’s superiority complex, Becky using Robin, that Ryan guy, everything Blaine does, etc.

        This is just one bad decision quickly snowballing out of control.

        1. thejeff

          What an interesting list of examples.

        2. Clif

          I was wondering how they could all fit at the bottom of the disapproval list. Must be plenty of room down there.

        3. fire_daws

          I’ve got a separate section called “Earth’s Core” for people like Blaine and Ross.

        4. fire_daws

          I’ll give you that on Jacob (also considering that Joyce forced him into this position) but for Joyce the initial snowball (using your example) was thrown way earlier, this is the end result of a series of bad decisions by Joyce. By your words Joyce has shown consistent bad behaviour.

        5. Schpoonman

          Collating Becky and Dorothy with Ryan and Blaine. Holy shit.

  4. jeffepp

    Fake it, till you make it. Or at least make out.

    1. Delicious Taffy

      Fake it when you make out? Seems legit.

      1. Michelle J. Caboose

        Maybe make out till you make it…

        1. Council

          That might actually work, thanks to our screwy biology.

  5. Stephen Bierce

    Smile and say CHEESE!

    1. Stephen Bierce

      There is a famous Pizza Hut commercial starring Rita Moreno that I would have quoted, but I doubt it would have been appropriate.

      1. Bicycle Bill

        If you’re talking about the one I think you’re talking about, it would have been more than appropriate.  Because I think Joyce is — — —-. It’s just unfamiliar territory for her, so she doesn’t fully recognize it yet.

      2. Sunny

        The only pizza hut commercial I’ve seen is the one with Gorbachev.

  6. Juanoku

    WELP, THIS IS GOING TO SHIT AS PLANNED

    1. Clif

      I would say it’s going surprisingly well.

      The aftermath may be interesting.

      1. Michelle J. Caboose

        Hopefully, the aftermath will have Jacob confronting Joyce about her… little deception. Preferably out of Harrison’s hearing/sight.

        Also hopefully, Jacob won’t be too mean, since Joyce is still kind of fragile.

        Still, he’s got to make it clear to her that these sort of overused sitcom-style shenanigans are unacceptable.

      2. David

        Not to mention the aftersports.

    2. Tacos

      All according to plan.
      (TL note: “plan” means keikaku)

      1. Clif

        Keikaku doori

    3. Keulen

      I’m pretty sure there is no plan. Joyce definitely didn’t think this through, and it seems like Jacob is just winging it right now as well.

      1. Michelle J. Caboose

        The fact that Joyce didn’t plan this out (or in fact think it through at all) is probably the only thing that will keep Jacob from completely cutting off their friendship. Although I’d be very much surprised if he didn’t want her to keep her distance, at least for awhile.

    4. AGV

      All according to shitkaku

  7. abysswatcher1993

    Jacob’s mind: “I know what you did Joyce, and please try to keep calm so we both survive.”
    Joyce’s mind: “I am doomed I am doomed I am doomed!”
    Harrison’s mind: “Maybe I should order some bread sticks for the road.”
    Jaime’s mind: “FEAR MY MORTALS!”
    Sydney’s mind: “I feel the presence of someone more evil than me!”

    1. Ron

      Raidah’s mind: I have this nagging feeling in the back of my head like something is going really, really wrong but I can’t quite put my finger on it…

      1. AbelUndercity

        Galasso’s mind: FOOOOLLLLLLS!

        1. He Who Abides

          GOD DAMN IT, THAT ONE WAS MINE!

  8. ian livs

    Okay, but I’ve actually done this. The… “ordering something because I wanted to seem like an adult despite extreme pickiness” part, not the “pretending to be dating somebody I wasn’t” part. (Very important distinction.)

    1. ian livs

      Update: now I’ll just get chicken nuggets and fries if I wanna, I’m a real adult either way, idgaf

      1. Jaime

        I eat macaroni and cheese on a regular basis and had ice cream for breakfast not too long ago. I’m an adult so I’ll eat what I want, dang it! ?

        1. Screwball

          Daniel here. Every time this conversation starts, I’m reminded of this XKCD strip…
          https://www.xkcd.com/150/
          …And for the record, I think my Niece and Nephew aren’t the only ones who would enjoy me doing this to an empty bedroom. Even worked out the details, a wooden frame to allow the door room to open, pool ladder to get in & out, spray with sanitizer occasionally to keep it clean…

        2. Ron

          Sanitizer spray would not get any “contaminant” out. If you sweat or get dirt in there, the sanitizer will only kill the germs on tbere, but those will likely come back again. I’m thinking you may want to do this in a shallow pool. Once a month or 2 you fill it with water have the balls rinse a bit and empty it again.

        3. Inahc

          I know someone with a ball pit, and it sounded like he had a special machine for cleaning the balls. Although it also was enough work for him to throw a work-party and get a bunch of friends to help with it.

          …darnit WordPress, stop forgetting my email address… The android keyboard refuses to memorize it too because there’s a + in it.

        4. Bicycle Bill

          Or you could order fettucine Alfredo.  It’s mac and cheese for grownups.

        5. Romanticide

          I am soon to try to cook homemade mac and cheese so I don’t know how that counts XD

        6. Tawdry Quirks

          If it’s the kind of recipe that involves a roux-thickened sauce, and the cheese is actual cheese instead of “cheese product”, it’s definitely adult. Bonus adulting points if it involves cheese from the gourmet section instead of the standard dairy section cheese.

        7. Romanticide

          That is basically what I am trying, the gourmet cheese might have to wait a little because $$$ but I made a trial run of the sauce with cheddar and jack and I think I can make it work 😀

        8. Jaime

          I *adore* Fettuccine Alfredo but try not to eat it too much because I would like to keep fitting through the doors in my apartment. ?

        9. Shade

          One of my favourite things is when my D&D group get totgether and they all talk about what drink they have for that night and I just get to chime in with “I have chocolate milk, because I’m an adult.”

      2. Reltzik

        I just got told by my doctor that I need to go on a diet in which I DON’T smother everything in melted chedder, so I guess I’m not a real adult anymore.

        1. He Who Abides

          Sounds like you need a new doctor.

        2. Ntrovert

          Reltzik – welcome to REAL adulting. The point in time at which your previous patterns of behavior, eating, etc. begin to have actual real world consequences.

    2. Keulen

      I’ve pretty much always ordered whatever the fuck I wanted from the menu without caring whether it seemed “adult enough” or not.

  9. Nono

    Yup, Joyce is still firmly in the not-endearing territory.

    I really hope Becky figures out what’s wrong with this and takes Joyce to task, but eh.

    1. fire_daws

      Becky was part of the group that was pushing them together. I think only Joe (of all people) has called it out.

      1. Nono

        She was, but here’s me hoping she had a change of heart. We already saw her being uncomfortable with Sal lying about being Marcie’s girlfriend.

        1. fire_daws

          Beck’s wants her best friend to be happy so I don’t see her changing course anytime soon (unless the body count gets too high). Also there might be an undercurrent to get Joyce off the singles market so it might mentally dissuade Becks from lusting after Joyce.

      2. BarerMender

        Joe and Dorothy.

      3. JohnInCA

        There’s a difference between thinking A should break-up with B and start dating C, and thinking A should date Cwithout breaking up with B first.

        Order of operations is important.

    2. TheWanderingMist

      Becky is not a good influence. Expecting her to stop this is like expecting the Sun to cool you down.

  10. AntJ

    darn, we were so close to a reenactment of the liver scene from Digger

    1. AntJ

      for those unfamiliar: http://diggercomic.com/blog/2008/03/30/digger-395/

      1. Ed Rhodes

        Ooooh! I would be in so much trouble, I simply can’t eat liver. It’s nasty! My mother told this to my step father who said; “I can’t make liver, he’ll never know it’s in there!” He made a spicy meatloaf, laced with liver. I took one bite and said; “Why is there liver in this?” Don’t tell ME I’m not going to taste it!

        1. thejeff

          And you’re not even an herbivore. Your digestive tract can handle it.

          Though carnivore liver is generally not a good idea anyway.

    2. Romanticide

      More times will come, Joyce will eventually have to eat with future in laws 😛 Some may even make complex stuff. 😛

  11. BBCC

    Well this won’t be a train wreck at all.

    1. AntJ

      Oh, it’ll go perfectly as long as Harrison’s watching.

      THEN it will be a train wreck

      1. BBCC

        I mean, it’s a train wreck already.

        Cheese pizza? Pizza is crust, sauce and as much pepperoni as can be humanly piled on.

      2. Ron

        Either that or Raidah joins the party. That would really be the high-power fan in this sh*t throwing contest…

  12. Regalli

    Joyce. Joyce. Honey.

    All the nos.

    1. Reltzik

      SOME of the nos.

      We need to maintain a reserve for Walky’s midterm. And Amber messing with Walky’s grades. And Dorothy’s workaholism. And holy crap Becky with Robin. And after all that we still need to have an ample supply left for whatever Billie and Ruth are going to be doing in the next 5 minutes (or in any 5 minutes).

      So Joyce gets a healthy ration of SOME of the nos, but not all of them.

      1. Clif

        ‘No’s are recyclable, so you never actually run out. It’s almost as good as infinite ‘no’s.

      2. Schpoonman

        Walky actually just convinced Billie to go to their Calc review class in spite of her withdrawal kicking in. Props to them right now.

  13. LeslieBean4shizzle

    I know Joyce is trying to be “adult” here but…

    Really, who orders a pizza with everything?

    Everything typically includes things like anchovies and pineapple and other similar pizza abominations. And yes, I know there are fans of both of those individually, but together? **shivers**

    A three topping pizza is great. A specialty pizza (my personal weakness is ‘taco pizza’) can be even better. But I have never seen the appeal of ordering “everything”.

    For the same reason, I also cannot stand everything bagels. Why would I want sucky toppings ruining my other awesome toppings?

    1. Bicycle Bill

      Good point.  A true adult would already have their own preferences (mine is sausage, pepperoni, Canadian bacon, black and green olives, ‘shrooms, green peppers, and light on the onions) and work to that.

    2. Sam

      Someone who thinks the idea of ‘adult’ is ‘not picky about food/has no food or texture sensitivities’. Or someone who likes all toppings and likes them combined and has no allergies. I have never met such a person but there will be at least one of them on this planet I imagine.

      1. Bicycle Bill

        Please allow me to introduce myself, I’m a man of wealth and taste.

    3. Lexi

      I think a lot of places have pizzas with “everything” that is just “everything not weird, like anchovies and pineapple”. Like, you’ll get peppers and onions and one or two types of meat and mushrooms, but not EVERY topping. If nothing else, two types of olives is a lot of olive for normal people.

      1. David

        There is only one type of olives. Black. And by “black” I don’t mean “blackened”, go away with that crap. What is wrong with people?

      2. Charles Kuhman

        Yeah, my friend who worked at Pizza Hut for a long time told me that even if you called and ordered one with “everything” they would always check to see if you wanted anchovies with that. He said one night someone said “Yes he wanted anchovies, but none of those fishy things.”

      3. Miri

        My almost-5 year old told me the other day she really wants a just-olive pizza (as in base, tomato sauce, cheese and LOTS of olives)… The 21 month old would also be thrilled. Both girls would accept Stilton and brie as acceptable additions…

    4. Gandalf007

      Even if called an “everything” pizza, I’d expect it to be more like your typical “supreme” pizza — pepperoni, sausage, onion, mushroom, bell pepper. Sometimes also Canadian bacon, ground beef, olives, or tomatoes, but not literally everything on the menu.

      Incidentally, I love supreme pizza and everything bagels. But I also enjoy a good margherita pizza or plain bagel too, if made well!

    5. Michelle J. Caboose

      I dunno. When I worked at Pizza Hut, If someone ordered a pie “with everything,” it didn’t include anchovies, jalapenos or pineapple. Customers had to request those toppings specifically. Then again, because “with everything” would have cost about $30 (you pay per topping), “with everything” was usually considered to be “Supreme,” and that’s how we confirmed it back to the customer.

      Then again, anchovy and pineapple were the least requested toppings. In almost two years at the same location, the number of orders including pineapple could be counted on my fingers. The number of orders requesting anchovies was exactly one. The manager had to make it, because no one in the store knew how much to put on the pie.

      1. SuperZero

        That’s a really small number of pineapple pizzas.

    6. Needfuldoer

      Cheese, pepperoni, onion, green and red roasted bell pepper. A good combo that usually doesn’t get too many people in a group complaining.

      1. Clif

        Change the pepperoni to Canadian bacon and you’ve got a deal.

    7. Schpoonman

      There’s a time and place for every topping, even stuff like pineapple (mozzarella, provolone, pepperoni, pineapple, tomato sauce, it works), but “all together at once” is not it.

  14. Woomy

    Lol, Joyce seems close

  15. Tacos

    So is just pepperoni also too much for Joyce?

    1. Wizard

      Yes, because the pepperoni would be touching the cheese.

      1. Michelle J. Caboose

        Also, pepperoni tends to be a bit spicy, and it seems like Joyce doesn’t like anything that has a flavor.

        1. Bicycle Bill

          She did eat tacos (although it was after properly dissecting them), and properly-prepared taco meat does have spices.

        2. thejeff

          I would not be surprised if both the Brown family tacos and the cafeteria tacos didn’t count as “properly prepared”.

          At least by my standards of spice.

      2. Needfuldoer

        But the cheese is touching the sauce, which is itself touching the crust!

        1. thejeff

          Yeah, I really don’t understand Joyce’s food issues. I get that people have them, they just don’t make sense to me.
          The definition of “food touching food” seems completely arbitrary to me. As you say cheese pizza is already food touching other food.

          We do know, from an earlier episode with Becky, that her usual is sausage pizza with the sausage picked off and put in a bowl on the side.

        2. Inahc

          Yep, brains are very good at ruthlessly enforcing arbitrary rules. Whether you’re aware of how arbitrary they are or not.

          Sometimes it shows up looking ocd-ish, sometimes it shows up as religion or tradition.

          Aand darnit, the comments form lost my email address again.

  16. Shane Wegner

    Like I said, it’s a little weird the pretext, but they do have a rapport.

    PS, is Raidah just ditched, standing around wondering where everyone is?

    1. Poofdepoof

      Harrison came early, so I don’t think so?

    2. Michelle J. Caboose

      We can only hope.

  17. ValdVin

    Five panels, five wonderfully expressive Joyce faces. Willis always does great things with her eyes, but her mouth is given quite a role here too.

  18. Jaime

    This is making me REALLY uncomfortable. Maybe it’s because I’m relatively old compared to Joyce and Jacob, but I keep trying to think of ways for Joyce to “get out” of this.

    Part of me thinks the best thing would be for Jacob to pull Joyce aside, tell her he’s not mad (even if he is, he need to defuse this) and say she needs to make up an excuse to leave. OR for Joyce to come to her senses and fake an “urgent” text message so she has to leave. Then Jacob can decide what, if anything, he wants to tell his brother.

    I remember far too well *cringe* how teenage infatuation can make people do stupid, STUPID things. But Joyce’s behaviour is really horrible. How she acted in front of Becky and how she treated Raidah earlier was bad enough. Now she’s put Jacob in a *very* awkward situation with his family. Again, people do stupid things while infatuated, but Joyce didn’t just cross the line here – she nuked it.

    1. Nono

      Ah, I’ve already figured it out.

      While Jacob is away from the table to go to the bathroom, Harrison pulls Joyce aside.

      Harrison: I know what you’re doing, you know.

      Joyce: W-what?

      Harrison: Yeah, you’re pretending to be his girlfriend.

      Joyce: U-uh…

      Harrison: And look, I can see why Jacob would ask you to pretend to be his girlfriend. You’re smart and funny and pretty and you punched a terrorist, but he doesn’t have to go to these lengths just to impress me.

      Cue Joyce jumping in and defending Jacob with a list of reasons why anyone would be lucky to date him. Jacob, within earshot, is heartwarmed.

      Suddenly, Raidah shows up, and goes into a rant, calling Joyce immature and a man-stealing hussy. She is promptly dismissed by Harrison as some delusional fangirl thinking that she’s Jacob’s girlfriend and told to leave them alone.

      Roomies! era hijinks ensue as Harrison leaves, telling Joyce he’s looking forward to seeing much more of her in the future.

      1. Michelle J. Caboose

        As much as I loved Roomies!, I’d rather not see that sort of thing done here. This is already way too close to the sort of thing Roomies! Joyce would have pulled.

        The only difference is that, unlike her one-sided love affair with Danny in the Walkyverse, she is not deluded as to her actual relationship with Jacob in the Dumbiverse.

    2. fire_daws

      People have criticized Joyce for not respecting boundaries but this is taking it to a whole new level. She forcibly inserted herself into Jacob’s life as his girlfriend, tried to run away when she might have been called out on it but then when cornered she doubled down and acted that way with Jacob. I can’t see anything about this situation that is redeemable for her.

      1. Ron

        Luckily, redemption is not real anyway.

        1. Delicious Taffy

          Then what the fuck am I supposed to do with all these coupons, promo codes, and vouchers?

    3. Reltzik

      I think Joyce’s way of getting out of this will be panicking, shouting “LOOK PONIES!”, and then running out the door.

  19. Raven Stromdans

    I must be in a super emotionally vulnerable place because Joyce struggling along with this farce is making me want to cry in sympathy.

  20. Nono

    Hmm, showerthought, but who picked Galasso’s? I don’t think Joyce is capable of coherent though, so it might be Harrison, who, y’know, Raidah thought would be picking a place where they didn’t have kids’ meals.

    Sounds like Raidah had the wrong read, too.

    1. Miri

      Raidah has made Harrison out to be a Serious Lawyer who is only impressed by other Serious Lawyer Very Adult types. She has been building up Jacob’s insecurities into an inferiority complex, whereas Harrison is actually a reasonably thoughtful guy who likes and respects his big brother and wants him to be happy.

      Does this mean Joyce’s behaviour is acceptable? Nope! Does this mean that Jacob going along with it, especially given he’s dating Raidah is OK? Nope! But Raidah is awful and if Jacob had realised that organically, grieved the loss of the person he thought she was and then realised he was attracted to Joyce (a Joyce who hadn’t blurted out yes instead of something like “he’s awesome but we’re just friends; he’s dating somebody else and I totally respect that”) – I’d be cheering for them.

      As it is, I’m waiting for the train wreck to happen, hoping they realise how much they screwed up, and still have a friendship (and Dotty’s respect and friendship) at the end.

    2. Z

      Harrison showed up baby wearing. OF COURSE an active, loving dad who wants his brother to be an involved uncle would only pick kid friendly places (which by definition have kids meals)

      Raidah had a majorly bad read and I’m kind of sorry we missed her attempt because I get the feelingthat seeing the Super Serious Lawyer she idolizes decked out as Future Soccer Dad may have broken her brain.

      It’s really possible raidah would have poisoned the well here just fine if she’d only been allowed to. After meeting him, if Harrison had seen how Raidah acted towards Joyce and his brother I bet he would NOT likr her.

    3. thejeff

      To be fair to Raidah, she’s never met Raidah and almost certainly picked up anything she thinks she knows about him from Jacob. Probably filtered through her image of “successful lawyer”.

      It’s definitely a misreading of him, but that owes as much to Jacob’s misreading as Raidah’s.

  21. ridureyu

    I have a friend who yells sat me if I order anything plain or plain-ish. Ordering a cheese pizza? Might be a disaster.

    1. DailyBrad

      Unless they’re sharing with you, not sure why your friend can’t just let you have what you want.

  22. DailyBrad

    Honestly, my read has been that Joyce said something impulsively, immediately realized she fucked up, but had no graceful exit strategy. People in the comments keep talking about hoping Joyce realizes she etc etc, somehow missing how awkward she’s looked in like every strip sense. The thing they wanted to happen happened already.

    Jacob has been culpable in the lie, which, I get, considering it isn’t like he wanted to make it awkward, she provided a convenient backup considering Jacob realized Harrison wouldn’t have been big on Raidah (she fit his “predictable” pick to a T), and he wanted to spare Joyce humiliation. Still, I imagine he’s possibly going to react like Danny did when Amber pulled him into a similar scheme, and be quite annoyed later. For now, he’s looking out for her, which is sweet of him.

    1. BenRG

      +1 ditto. Couldn’t have put it better myself!

    2. Deadjolras

      Nobody forced her to lie about being Jacob’s girlfriend and nobody made her continue lying about it after Jacob showed up. I don’t like that Jacob is going along with it because he’s so concerned about having Harrison’s approval either.

      1. Sam

        After Jacob showed up, she tried to literally run away. This wasn’t some thought out scheme and she has pretty much awkwarded herself into a corner. It can be true she shouldn’t have lied and doesn’t still have to but also that she realised it was a big mistake and there is no graceful way to say that she impulsively lied.

        1. Deadjolras

          After Jacob showed up and tried to run away, she still lied about being his girlfriend. At any point, she could’ve said “I was just kidding!” or “oh, you meant girlfriend-girlfriend?” like many people in the comments suggested. And, sure, that wouldn’t be graceful at all and, sure, Harrison probably would’ve thought she had a really bzarre sense of humour but it’s still better than keeping this charade going on.

  23. Newllend(henryvolt)

    I don’t know about the rest of you guys but I find this charming, despite the fact that Joyce has gotten the two of them in a bit of a mess Jacob is still a kind hearted and caring guy enough to make sure Joyce isn’t too uncomfortable by ensuring her that she doesn’t haft to put up an act to impress anyone.

    Joyce might have messed up but that doesn’t stop Jacob for being a stand-up guy.

    1. Eve

      I mean, on the one hand he didn’t humiliate a friend by pointing out her lie, but he is also now cheating on his girlfriend, which is not super stand up material.

      God I wanted this ship to happen but I have the terrible feeling this is going to shoot it right out the gate.

      1. David

        He is not “cheating” as much on his girlfriend as having tabled her. That’s also going to blow up, of course, but not in the standard drama llama manner.

      2. Michelle J. Caboose

        He’s not really cheating on Raidah. His relationship with Joyce is still platonic. The only romance is in Harrison’s mind — and Joyce’s fantasies.

        Of course, it’s not even in Harrison’s mind if he’s figured out the two aren’t really together and is just going along with it to see how far Joyce and Jacob are willing to take the charade.

      3. JBento

        Disregard the two mooks above me. Presenting another person as your girlfriend is MOST DEFINITELY cheating.

        1. Clif

          It depends on the circumstances and the motives. Human relationships aren’t legalistic and rule driven. There are rules of thumb at best.

        2. JBento

          Literally he only circumstance that would make this “not cheating” would have been if Jacob had gotten permission from Raidah to say Joyce was his girlfriend.

        3. Clif

          Are you three? Is lying never justified by social circumstances? Or do you just enjoy any opportunity to take the moral high ground?

        4. JBento

          You can justify lies all you want, but they’re still lies. They don’t magically become the truth even if you can justify telling them.

        5. Clif

          And you make no distinction between justified lies and cheating?

        6. JBento

          First, you’re saying this is “justified lies”, which I have not agreed upon. Second, when you’re presenting somebody else as your SO (with the aggravating, but unneeded, circumstance that it’s happening in a situation that your ACTUAL SO was extremely excited about), yes, it’s cheating.

        7. SuperZero

          Wouldn’t it have to be the truth to be cheating?
          (Also I’m not sure you know what “justified” means.)

        8. BBCC

          Clif, you’re being condescending as hell. Knock it off.

          Second, you haven’t actually backed up your argument this lie was justified by social circumstances. Why JBento should accept this one is when you haven’t actually made an argument for it other than ‘are you three’ is beyond me.

        9. Clif

          The remark about being three *was* condescending and I will try very hard to tone that down. (Though I also think calling people mooks is probably condescending as well).

          I haven’t made the argument that any particular lie was justified by social circumstances. The argument I made was that people are complicated and human relationships aren’t legalistic and rule driven. I think that most of us know what cheating looks like and this isn’t it. JBento’s response was to pull out another legalistic rule. The only effective response I know to something like that is reduction to absurdity by asking questions.

          I don’t think that I would have made the responses that Joyce and Jacob made, even when I was young as stupid(er). But I think that what they’ve done (so far) is understandable and not deserving of any great condemnation. JBento’s belief is different, which is fine, but as long as their support for that is arbitrary rules, then I get to ask questions in an attempt to show that’s a silly approach.

        10. Inahc

          FWIW, it looks close enough to cheating from where I’m standing. Cheating or not it’s going to hurt raidah, and despite my dislike of her I find that really shitty.

        11. JBento

          Lol, “not introducing the person who isn’t your girlfriend as your girlfriend when you have a girlfriend” is an arbitrary rule now? I wasn’t aware that not publicly humiliating the person you purport to care about enough to test for a lifelong commitment (which is Jacob’s stated intent in dating) was a “maybe” on the “is this a shitty course of action?” list.

        12. BBCC

          Saying Jacob is cheating isn’t being legalistic, especially since they DID give a circumstance where it would be not cheating (Raidah having given permission). It’s also not legalistic to say lies don’t become the truth even if they’re justified lies. You then asked if they make no distinction between justified lies and cheating, which implies this IS a justified lie, which you have not, in fact established. Reduction to absurdity is a logical fallacy, anyways.

        13. thejeff

          It’s not really cheating in any conventional sense.
          I’ll reserve judgement until we see how he acts when they get a chance to talk about it privately.

          Joyce not so much, since she’s the one who created the situation. Jacob definitely loses some points since he’s going along with it to make his brother think better of him.

        14. Clif

          Hopefully Joyce will have learned something about the consequences of impulsive actions. I think Jacob has a multiplicity of motives. Not acting against his brother’s praise. Not embarrassing Joyce. Expecting Radah to understand since he’s been upfront about his intoller

        15. Clif

          And half the post disappeared. “Upfront about his intolerance of jealousy ” and we’ll leave it at that.

  24. Zellgato

    7 shades of weird.
    but I’m weirdly surprised Jacob did that.
    I c na’t tell if he did that for joyce-knowing.
    or if he’s doing that to…agree with his big brother and show how much alike he is

    1. David

      Oh, definitely for Joyce. His brother would have gotten cheese either way. And Jacob definitely knows and has on occasion lightly ribbed Joyce about her food anxieties. She’s ordered “adult” before in order to impress him with less than convincing results.

  25. Plasma Mongoose

    Liar, liar, her pants are full of desire.

    1. Arianod

      Thank you for using a Lapis avatar for this comment <3

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        YW!

    2. Bagge

      Heh!

  26. Zero

    Well I can see that the comments section here is gonna be a shit show for the rest of this plot, so….

    *Plays Fuck This Shit I’m Out on the hacked muzak*

  27. Eve

    God. If only Joyce had pulled a “Haha – I was just pulling a prank on my good friend Jacob, wondered how long I could fool his brother he knows I’m such a scamp” before this date started and she could bow out.

    1. Masumi

      She sure will gacepalm (even more) when she thinks of that option the day after XD

    2. SuperZero

      That’s more effort into backing out than she needed.

      When Harrison mentioned it, all she had to do was say something like “What? Oh, gosh, did I say that? No, that’s not right, I misspoke.”

      Done.

  28. Mra

    How are they going to explain this to Radiah, as much as I don’t like Radiah, I like Jacob enough to not want to see him go through the fallout of the liar reveal trope

    1. BenRG

      Will Raidah ever know? I don’t think that’s a given yet.

      1. Michelle J. Caboose

        No, but given that DoA’s drama tag came pre-pulled, it’s extremely likely she’ll find out. Depending on how well Jacob deals with confrontation (with people who are not his brother), he may opt to pre-emptively tell Raidah himself, possibly framing it as Harrison making the assumption and neither he nor Joyce being able to correct him.

        Of course, that also depends on how this tableau with Jacob, Joyce and Harrison plays out. Maximum drama would dictate that Raidah stumble across their little group somehow, and find out what’s going on.

        1. BenRG

          Drama can just as easily be made by Joyce being this constant temptation in Jacob’s life – a different life from the one with Raidah.

    2. timemonkey

      “Raidah, it’s over, I found someone better!”

      And then it’s done and she no longer matters within the relationship.

  29. BenRG

    Jacob is a good egg and is nice enough to help Joyce survive the day and then ask her what the hell she thought she was doing when they both have some privacy.

    1. JBento

      No, he’s not. Jacob is actively betraying Raidah.

      1. Clif

        How so?

        1. JBento

          By presenting a different person as his SO. It’s not rocket science.

        2. Clif

          Where did he say Joyce was his significant other? (If you insist on being legalistic and rule driven.)

        3. JBento

          BEHOLD, THE LASTEST OF PANELS:

          http://www.dumbingofage.com/2019/comic/book-10/01-birthday-pursuit/aslongas/

        4. Clif

          If I’m being legalistic and rule driven then I’m going to look really hard at that last panel and tell you that I see absolutely no claim that Joyce is his significant other. I do see the use of the word girlfriend. Is she not a girl or not a friend? Girlfriend is a word with many shades of meaning. I’ve gone on many a date with girlfriends who were not significant others. So again I ask, where did he say Joyce was his significant other?

        5. Inahc

          Wow. :/

        6. JBento

          If you do insist on being legalistic (for… reasons?) then context matters, and the entirety of the exchange with Harrison presents the word “girlfriend” in a clear romantic context.

        7. David M Willis

          hey I didn’t cheat on you with that other person, technically there was a condom between us CHECKMATE

        8. Clif

          You mean it depends on what “is” is?

          No, I think that there is a line there somewhere, and some things are clearly on one side and some things are clearly on the other. And some things are uncomfortably close to the line without going over. But when you try to arbitrarily mark an exact division with brittle rules, what you find is the exact line is kind of blurry.

          Based on what you’ve shown us of Jacob and this version of Joyce, at this point I’m not willing to consign either of them to the outer darkness.

        9. BBCC

          Where people draw lines on a given situation is almost always going to be arbitrary because morality is subjective. That being said, Bento still hasn’t said anything legalistic or given a rule out. They just said Jacob is cheating on Raidah by presenting Joyce to his family on an outing as his girlfriend without Raidah’s knowledge or consent. That’s not a rule. That’s an assertion.

  30. Keulen

    I just now realized they’re in Galasso’s.

    1. Delicious Taffy

      Joyce, just order the Chori Pollo. You can’t go wrong.

    2. Bagge

      Of course they are. That increases the chance that they run into Becky, which would increase the clusterfudge.

      (I know she works for Robin now, but I’m sure she could commute in specifically to help Joyce snag Jacob).

  31. Aprion

    her actions make me wanna punch people.

  32. Bagge

    Jacob to the rescue again. a warm feeling spreading in his chest when Joyce clings to his arm, thanking him with wavering voice. almost enough to forget about him lying to his brother and throwing his real girlfriend (remember her, Jacob?) under the bus.

    also: Joyce!!! Stop it!!!

  33. Rabisch

    This could working!? Jacob is not totally disgusted of Joyce’s lie and keeps helping her? I have to admit to find this adorable.

  34. JBento

    Ah, the trashfire storyline. How I didn’t miss you.

  35. Lone Duck

    So, for anyone wondering why Joyce would impulsively lie out the blue, getting herself into this situation, the answer is simple. BECAUSE BABY.

  36. Jack Faire

    I hate this myth that kids and adults eat differently because of age.

    1. He Who Abides

      I know, right!? If a pair of “adults” want to eat, say, macaroni and cheese with hot dogs cut up into it, that is a decision they make within the privacy of their own homes.

      Stop regulating what I consider “adult food”!

      1. JBento

        That sound delicious, and I’d like three bowls, please thank you.

        1. He Who Abides

          Sorry, we finished that for breakfast. Stop by late next week, though, and we’ll save a spot for ya.

    2. thejeff

      And yet they do. Many adults do continue to like foods they ate as a child, but their palates tend to expand to like different things as well.

      1. SuperZero

        Lies and slander.

  37. James Rye

    Awww, Jacob is such a good guy, saving Joyce from her EVERYTHING FOR ADULTS Pizza plan. Poor girl was so scared. But then again she has only herself to blame for this situation. XDDD

  38. Clover

    I have watched a ton of Brooklyn Nine-Nine but feel super dense because I can’t figure out why it is referenced here! Because it deals a lot with learning to be a grown up?

    1. Clover

      Oh! Lol. Joyce is dressed in the poster like Captain Holt on vacation. Got it! ?

  39. TheWanderingMist

    She tried to run away. She has no plan anymore. Now Raidah should be showing up in a few minutes to make everything worse.

  40. Jhon

    The off panel voice in the last panel is Raidah.
    (You know it to be true.)

    1. fire_daws

      Please let that be true, I’m tired of this charade.

    2. ValdVin

      She’d be in the tags if her voice was “heard” on-panel, wouldn’t she?

  41. DarkoNeko

    Poor Jacob. He’s too nice to think “why do I have to go along with this shiiiiit”

  42. Wakeangel2001

    I’m a grown man and I still pretty much just like pepperoni, with maybe bacon if someone insists on something different.

  43. Aislashu

    Raidah’s going to be showing up any minute now, for sure.

  44. Jim

    David, why do you have a problem with Andrew Yang?

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

*

*

*

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.