213

Invest
Posted on December 26, 2013 by David M Willis

213 thoughts on “Invest”

  1. Jen Aside

    or at least an Amazi-Scooter

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      or even the Amazi-Bicycle.

      1. Bill

        +1 on the Amazi-Bicycle.  She can form her own team for the Little 500 come the springtime.

    2. Tunaro

      Or a mobile. I’ll go sit in the corner…

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        This is why it helps to be filthy rich.

        1. newllend

          Is the Amazi-jet out of the question?

        2. Led

          Best would be an Amazi-Van… She could drive it AND have a small, mobile secret base in it!

        3. Guest Person Dude

          She could do amazing things in that van.
          -I- could do amazing things in that van.
          I am liking the idea.

        4. Old Grognard

          +10 on this! I love the idea of a Mobile Amazi-Headquarters Van.

        5. Charlie Spencer

          No, but the ‘Amazi-Ped’ is.

        6. Lord Geovanni

          Its helps to have robbed 2 stores

    3. Yotomoe

      Even an Amazi-skateboard would be helpful.

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        Only if AGs skills are at least as good as Marcie’s.

        1. Yotomoe

          The Amazi-skills to pay the Amazi-bills.

        2. ocbrad1

          +1 for the Beasties’ reference!

      2. Rex Hondo

        Amazi-Skateboard paired with the grappling hook we already know she has could work.

        1. Jen Aside

          Dang, yeah–she needs to up the ante.

          Amazi-Jet.

        2. Ben

          Maybe just some Amazi-Skates.

        3. mai876

          A jet pack, that’s what she needs.

        4. DSL

          Amazi-Segway.

        5. Plasma Mongoose

          Maybe she can even make Segways cool.

        6. Darkflame

          Segways are already cool. People that think they arnt probably just either dont appreciate the tech, or dont realize they can go pretty darn fast.
          Amber would appreciate both.

        7. Roborat

          Better get the off road version.

        8. hmrc4evr

          The big question is where should buy all this gear?

          Off top of my head I’d say Amazi-on

        9. StClair

          “Where does she get all those wonderful toys?”

        10. Jen Aside

          Amazi-Drone haha

        11. Roborat

          ACME, just don’t chase road runners with any of their gear.

      3. symbiote01

        Rollerblades. Er, Amazi-roller, um… blades. That and a little brute force, and she’d clean up on the Roller Derby circuit. Maybe learn a few new tricks…

    4. vanjealous

      Or an Amazi-Big-Wheel. Do they still even make Big-Wheels anymore?

      1. Cragalanch

        Amazi-Unicycle!

      2. 0kami

        An Amazi- Penny Farthing?

        http://i133.photobucket.com/albums/q78/KylePix/Museums/Historical/Ronald%20Reagan%20Library%20and%20Museum/101023-1482PennyFarthing.jpg

    5. Kai Gon

      How about a flying broom or carpet? At least the broom would be pretty unsuspicious. 😉

    6. Chris

      That way, she won’t have Joyce obsessively follow her.

  2. Ourorboros

    Well that’s one way to deal with your issues directly.

  3. Geminia999

    See, that’s why you need to have your costume on at all times!

  4. TheOthin

    Danny’s 3DS knows how to make its escape from his grubby fingers.

  5. Sageress

    She’s really not the brightest, that Amber.

    1. Mr K

      She’s perfect for Danny then.

      1. Wonder Wig

        An Amber alert goes up whenever he Dans things up.

        1. hmrc4evr

          +1 internet for that pun

        2. Plasma Mongoose

          So punworthy ^_^ +1 LIKE

    2. Yesididstealthisjoke

      Nice girl, but she’s as sharp as a sack of wet mice.

      1. Sageress

        You stole that joke.

      2. Yotomoe

        About as bright as an Ocean trench.

      3. Questionor

        http://youtu.be/-LCsiWL6gn0

    3. Kernanator

      To misquote Sal, “Nice girl, but she ain’t too smart.”

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        Not such a clever girl.

        1. Sageress

          Bout as sharp as a baseball.

    4. Blue Dragon

      She’s as bright as the day is long.

      (Happy belated Solstice, everybody!)

  6. Pterocine

    Where can I purchase that?

    1. Doctor_Who

      Same place Squirrel Girl got her Squirrel-I-Gig.

  7. Mr K

    Quick, you need to think of some good pickup lines before you try anything with her.

    1. Doctor_Who

      I dunno, any chick who wants a shot with me and shows up dressed in a superhero outfit can skip the pickup line.

      1. Yotomoe

        They’ll just nod in mutual agreement of their badassness and do the superhero equivelent of making out, which is just fighting crime together.

        1. The Candyman

          So every superhero meeting in the history of the universe is just them making out?

          I like it.

  8. Mkvenner

    Yes you do. Merry Christmas 🙂

  9. Kernanator

    Screw an Amazi-Cycle, get an Amazi-Autogyro.

  10. Sageress

    Let’s all agree on one thing: Amber’s plan was dumb.

    1. Mr K

      Going around beating criminals for a hobby isn’t smart in the first place.

      1. Doctor_Who

        Unless you are filthy rich and have a lot of neat toys to do it with.

        1. No

          Doesn’t matter how rich you are. Physical altercations have a way of causing everyone involved pain.

        2. Marisa Mockery

          Mike saying that is just weird…

        3. Doom Shepherd

          That is why the Gods gave us ranged weapons.

        4. thecanvashat

          Then it becomes more than a hobby.

      2. Valdrax

        And generally speaking people are less sympathetic towards people who beat up criminals who have served their time and done nothing more than “steal” your ex.

        1. Ourorboros

          Sure, but Amazi-Girl hasn’t exactly been explaining her actions. She’s just been labeled the campus vigilante, which has both good and bad connotations. I can’t imagine everybody has been saying they are small time criminals.
          You know, besides the fact that this is a fantasy world.

      3. Jelli

        Well, she hasn’t, really. Remember the guys with the stop sign?

    2. Jack Finch

      Calling it a plan is generous.

  11. David Herbert

    “Damn, she’s more bad ass than I am.”

    1. Yotomoe

      But at least I’ve got a nicer ass!

      1. James

        ……no….Sal’s ass is as bad as it is firm.

        seriously sifting her weight on that bike on tight turns is quite a work out on the Gluteus Maximus.

        1. sps48

          It’s not shifting the weight, it’s pulling on the handlebars. Just a bit. It is subtle, though.

  12. Tacdud2

    I would love to see what the Amazi-cycle would look like.

  13. Locke

    Or just carjack in the name of NEBULOUS JUSTICE, Amber.

  14. Mr. Random

    Amazi-car! It’s better because it shoots Amazi-Beams.

    1. Doctor_Who

      But the bike can be used to do Amazi-Wheelies!

    2. hmrc4evr

      Willis I hate to ask but did my earlier ‘headlights’ joke get pulled? I know it was a little off color but it was no worse than some I’v seen at times…

      1. Mr. Random

        How can a comment be offcolor? We’re all typing in BLACK. (Unless you’ve inverted the colors, in which case it’s white.)

    3. Sageress

      BAZOW

  15. Plasma Mongoose

    Unless of cause you get hit with lightning at the same time as being splashed with chemicals, then you get super-reflexes, super-speed, super-metabolism and access to the Speed-force.

    1. Hythrain

      You could also hope to get lucky and meet with the god Mercury as he’s dying and hope he sees you as a hero such that he gives you similar powers.

      1. Cthulhu's Intern

        Super singing?

        1. The Candyman

          And super being a douche skills. But you could get those from any god, really.

    2. hmrc4evr

      Then locked away in a dark corner with Stephanie Brown until everyone has been brainwashed into beliving the pair never existed and Silver Age versions are good enough for everyone since they are good enough for DC editorial.

    3. Doctor_Who

      Or you could just crash the Head Alien’s kiddie-abduction party and say “Yo, make with the speed, chop chop.”

    4. Yotomoe

      Or you could just be mega-dead.

    5. DSL

      Amazi-chlorians?

  16. Wack'd

    Yeah, Amber. If you want super-speed you’ve gotta get abducted by aliens. Everyone knows that.

  17. Sageress

    Where’s Spider-Car when you need him.

    1. Sageress

      Holy halibut, a certain spider based, Automobilic American superhero is censored.

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        Willis got sick of everyone commenting about S-Car in the DoA comment section.

        1. Sageress

          Consarn it, the ONE time such a reference would be relevant.

        2. nothri

          Relax. There are ways around the ultra!car limitation. You just have to get a little creative.

        3. showler

          Work around a filter created by the artist. Good way to get IP banned.

        4. Curacaobill

          You do relize that the person who makes the filter regularly checks the comments and will be non to pleased to read this

        5. Marisa Mockery

          Either that or he’ll be lulzing that they found a way around it at all. Rules are made to be broken. Or at least bent at a funny angle and then pointed at while walking in the opposite direction while whistling innocently….

        6. James

          Screw the rules I have a motorcycle!

        7. Random832

          Except for the fact that the filter was intended to stop people making the “hurr amazi-girl isn’t amber she’s ultra car” joke which is thoroughly obsolete by now. I’m actually surprised it’s still in place.

        8. Jenny Creed

          I think the reference is implicit in the strip itself anyway.

    2. C.

      She’s a human now anyway.

  18. The Candyman

    Go all the way Amber, pull out the Amazi-Mobile. Which is actually an 18-wheeler.

  19. Gordon Blvd

    maybe she can buy that car Spider-Man had back in the 70’s………………………

    1. Doctor_Who

      “Low mileage, only used once.”

  20. Ikaru

    So she was intending to attack Sal?…Huh.

  21. Juliecat

    That second panel sounds awfully naughty…

    1. Yotomoe

      Amazi-girl fell into dispair
      While chasing the dark skinned girl with straight hair,
      And just when she thought life was not fair
      She had an idea that was…
      naaaaauuuuuuughhhhhhhtyyyyyy.

      1. Kiggy

        I totally got that reference.

        BWAAAAHAHAHAHA!

    2. Jack Finch

      Greatest cartoon ever

  22. Yotomoe

    You hear that people? Amber wants to take her from behind.
    START YOUR FANFICS.

    1. Curacaobill

      I thought that was your job

      1. James

        A man can outsource every once and while

        1. Yotomoe

          I’m Fan-ART.
          Totally different medium.

    2. TacosForever

      I’m mainly just really surprised that more people haven’t commented on this. Willis fandom, you disappoint me.

    3. Marc in MN

      Thank you.

      I was beginning to worry that I was the only one whose mind “went there” right away. =P

  23. Sageress

    Ok so she was just gonna… beat her up? For a crime she’s done time for?

    Haha I like Amber less and less every day.

    1. Yotomoe

      She’s still miles ahead of Ethan for me.

    2. Ourorboros

      The hold up was Amazi-Girl’s origin story. You always focus on your arch villain.
      Although it would help her to remember that’s she’s seen Sal in the dorms so she might live there, or at least be there again. A student’s life isn’t as predictable as other adult’s, but there are patterns.

      But please let none of this be about Dan. The campus – and all Big 10 campuses are sizable – has so many better guys for her.

    3. Jen Aside

      I was to understand that she would show up as Amazi-Girl and prove to Danny that Sal wasn’t who he thought she was.

      But that seems like a lot to realize she would have to do from just seeing them together in a split second.

      So, I unno

      1. Ourorboros

        She didn’t know Danny thought Sal was Amazi-Girl.
        The flashbacks also make it look like this is more about Sal than Danny.

    4. Bill

      Do we know that Sal served time, or even got caught?  Maybe that’s why Amber was taking out after her — unfinished business, so to speak.

      1. kagato23

        … yes. Yes we do. Walky has talked about it.

    5. fudo81

      How do you know that she was gonna beat her up? All I can be sure of is that she wanted to confront her, and that doesn’t sound so unreasonable.

      1. kagato23

        You don’t put on your punching-people vigilante outfit when you were already right there and just want to talk.

        In her defense, Amber isn’t thinking very rationally right now and is desperately looking for a problem she can punch. Oh the other hand, Amber isn’t thinking very rationally right now and is desperately looking for a problem she can punch… which is pretty lousy.

    6. Jenny Creed

      Let’s see you act reasonably in the middle of a PTSD emotional breakdown fugue thing with multiple personalities.

    7. Jen

      You’re assuming that Amber knows Sal served time for the crime. We didn’t see sirens or police in the flashback, so maybe she got caught later?

      Also, maybe she’s not going to beat Sal up (okay, with Amber’s anger issues, she probably will, but there’s a chance she won’t.)

      And Ouroboros has a point, this is her origin story. As per comic book superhero standards, she needs to confront Sal to gain closure and grow as a human/hero.

    8. John

      Sal was sent away to a Catholic boarding school in Tennessee for several years. If she ever actually did time in juvie or whatnot, we haven’t heard about it. Amber may reasonably believe that’s not adequate punishment for her crimes.

  24. Kladeos

    Let this one go, Amber…

  25. JThePerson

    Are.. we time travelers?..

  26. Gold

    What a cop-out.

    1. Red Robot

      but this is a big relief. Amber lost control and Amazi-girl was seconds away from really ruining her life. Now there is hope. Maybe she will actually seek help now. (A man can dream…)

    2. Kernanator

      It’s only a cop-out when the cops show up and create an anti-climax.

      1. IncadescentFlame

        “Hold it, hold it! Allow me to introduce myself. I’m Inspector Thompson’s Gazelle of the Program Planning Police, Special Flying Squad!”
        “Flying Thompson’s Gazelle of the Yard?!”

        (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kQFKtI6gn9Y)

  27. Plasma Mongoose

    If only Amazi-Girl added a chest-window to her costume, it would allow the air to flow around the Amazi-Rack which purges the excessive heat, thus allowing Amazi-Girl to run for longer.

    http://images.cheezburger.com/completestore/2011/5/11/2176bc6b-1af6-4206-8aa4-4fea0f6ca5d5.jpg

    1. Arkantos

      Have you been reading Spinnerette lately?

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        I haven’t read Spinnerette in the last couple of months.

        1. Arkantos

          Okay, it’s just that kind of reminded me of Ms. Venus from that comic.

        2. Roborat

          That’s about their update schedule lately.

  28. Aakriti

    Amber is coping surprisingly well, under the circumstances.

  29. Fuzzydaemon

    She was going to beat the shit out of Sal, who has already done time? Not good.

    It is hilarious seeing her have the same reaction to Sal’s wheels as Joyce.

    1. Aakriti

      I don’t think she would have actually done it(beat Sal up). I think in that moment she would have seen Sal in herself and actually walked away.

  30. Raibean

    It’s official they’re all queer
    I’m just here to join the party

    1. Yotomoe

      Everyone’s gay.
      Even Joe.
      He’s just gay for boobies.

      1. James

        Ron White said it best.

        Every one a little a gay…..

        1. sps48

          Ron White is wrong.
          Viewers are imagining the tools as their own, so bigger = better.

        2. Yotomoe

          However you look at it, you’re still looking at another man’s dick.

  31. Cthulhu's Intern

    So is Danny going to see her now?
    “Wow, Amazi-Girl! You switched fast! I was looking for my friend but I can’t find her. Can I have my 3DS. Also, your skin tone. How do you… you know?”

    1. James

      Dan: Ohhhh I get now.

      you do white face to hide your secret identity . Well, if RDJ can get nominated for doing black face I guess it’s okay….

    2. xKiv

      How far behind is he, anyway?

  32. C.W. Roden

    She also needs a dorky sidekick who can wear bright colors and draw all the fire…er, attention.
    Whatda say Danny-boy?

  33. nothri

    “Get her from behind”

    ….nope. Not gonna comment. Too easy.

    Much like your mother.

    1. Calvin Coolage

      Only if she’s payed a nickel.

  34. timemonkey

    So she really was going to just flip out and attack Sal? I am disappointed in her.

    Say, whatever happened to Dorothy using the information she had on Amazi-Girl to track down her real identity?

    1. John

      Dorothy is too busy with obsessive-compulsive studying to stalk her ex’s new girlfriend.

    2. Deathjavu

      It’s my firm belief that eventually Dorothy’s going to free up enough time to expose Amazi-Girl. Dorothy is far too competent and persistent to do otherwise.

      But it really hasn’t been that long since Dorothy got the story, in-universe.

      I wouldn’t be surprised if the dude that took a photo of Amazi-Girl yesterday re-opens that storyline.

  35. Idon'tcarenomore

    First: we have humor here? Good, hope is not dead for Amber?

    Second: Amber wants to beat the crap out of Sal, NOT for a crime she committed and did time for….but because Sal scared the shit out of her.

    Third: If you had had all the crap dumped on you that Amber has dug out from under, this past while: just how sharp would your planning be? Think you might be a bit impulsive maybe?

    She is hurting beyond belief: she sees someone who caused her a lot of mental pain in that hold-up AND is causing now right this minute causing her a lot of mental pain today-she’s smiling at Danny. {if it were me, I’d go beat the shit out of Danny…but unfortunately Amber is the type to blame the female not the idiot boyfriend.}

    I have a feeling that Willis just switched off the ‘aww poor Amber feels’ and has just defused that situation by making an idiot out of her. Oh well.

    1. Arkantos

      I think you forgot to mix in the fact that she has Blaine blood. That’s another factor.

      1. Red Robot

        Amber wants to run away from Sal. It is Amazi-girl that wants to beat the crap out of her. Completely different person. Also, suspect that she was having a full-on PTSD flashback, so her wanting to attack her was not about revenge, or about Danny, but about “going back in time” and protecting Amber and Ethan during the hostage situation.
        Now, my specific pop-psychology theories are likely to be very wrong, but the point remains: This is not about Amber making choices of any kind, rational or idiotic or callous…it is about her issues taking control away from her.

        1. Jack Finch

          I wonder if in Amber’s imagination Sal is still a fugitive at large from the crime she witnessed. Maybe apprehending and bringing her to justice is the objective in her mind, rather than a beatdown.

        2. Red Robot

          I suspect so. Amber was not acting like a jealous girl, but like one who is scared for her life. I hope that now that Sal has run away Amber and Amazi-girl will have time to reassess the situation and conclude that there is not a clear and present danger at all… People today do not seem to give enough credit to Amber and Amazi-girl. They may be more than a bit misguided, but they have shown a strong sense of ethics as far as vigilantism goes.

  36. Maki P

    Wow, I thought she would either run away or fight Sal, turns out I was right about both

  37. Steven

    Is this a comic?

    1. IncadescentFlame

      Is this a commment?

      1. Red Robot

        Is this a question

        1. Doctor_Who

          Is this the real life?

        2. Knightsky

          Is this just fantasy?

        3. The Sandman

          Caught in a landslide

  38. Axel

    Amber, what… what was the plan here, really? What was going to happen once you attacked another student in broad daylight without provocation?

    1. C.

      No one even knows about Sal’s criminal history because the records were sealed.

    2. begbert2

      “She jaywalked! You all saw it!” *fires claw-grapple at nearby building and zips away.*

  39. Frelance

    if this whole comic is secretly just the origin story of the Vespavenger I give up

    1. Marisa Mockery

      ^ best comment yet

  40. Jesse

    Amber, honey, I don’t think it works when the crime was five years ago.

  41. Kevin

    Amber is using her alter ego for revenge – this is not the way of Amazigirl

  42. NoHeart

    That look of defeat in the last panel….

  43. Synnerman

    The funny is back!

  44. Bilfred

    at first i thought the title was “incest”

    Needless to say. I went into this comic with the wrong mindset.

  45. Alex Stritar

    Was that a Flashpoint reference in the hovertext?

    1. Mayonnaise

      Probably just Flash

      1. Alex Stritar

        Can I help that that part of the story really stuck with me.

        (That and the fact that I rented the movie version and Equestria Girls at the same time, watch them together and realized that they were the exact same movie XD)

  46. Gargamel

    Psh, that wouldn’t have stopped Batman or Owlman.

    1. Bilfred

      Or aquaman, the mightiest superhero.

      1. Gargamel

        To be fair this situation would probably stump Aquaman given there are no fish in the immediate area.

  47. A5PECT

    Okay, so being in a state of heightened emotional stress while seeing Sal wih Danny is causing her to relive what I’m guessing was her first act of vigilantism.

    Amber is basically having her own version of a Vietnam flashback.

  48. Nicholas

    Freak lab accident? Getting abducted by purple little aliens and get Martian DNA is a much more effective way to acquire superspeed.

    1. Bearfuz

      This.

  49. FAZ

    How come nobody is mentioning the Stool?

    She needs an amazing Stool!

    1. Animal

      Maybe she should see the Amazi-Proctologist.

  50. hof1991

    And now she’s standing right where Sal exited, so it makes sense that Sal is AG.

    Seriously Amber and AG are both going to be facing consequences soon if they don’t stop this. DOA isn’t a superhero comic with aliens and stuff.

  51. Spack

    Well, lets’s see: Amazi-Girl is seen and photographed (yesterday) at around the same time Sal has left the building (/Elvis announcer voice). Misperception hijinks ensue for another round. Drinks are on Elvis’s tab.

  52. Jack Finch

    I’m thinking a large corn popper.

    1. Jack Finch

      Cornpopper hovercraft.

      1. Leorale

        Cornpopper segway. Stylish!

        1. Jack Finch

          They kinda resemble them don’t they?

        2. hmrc4evr

          A transforming segway! Goes from segway to corn popper and back!!

  53. Mr K

    Here’s what’ll happen:
    Sal beats up Amazi-Girl and unmasks her.
    Blaine finds her and taunts her for being more violent than him.
    Everybody in the school finds out.
    She loses her friends.
    She is sent to jail for attempted assualt, and her roommate is Malaya.
    The only member of her Family to visit her is Faz.

    1. I don't know what to put here.

      So far, so plausible…

  54. CookieCrumbler

    Swerve on that weak shit

    Invest in a HOVERCRAFT

  55. Mr K

    Billie: Sal, that bongo’s been stealing your costume!

  56. Phillip Wilde

    Is Sal riding her motorcycle on the sidewalk?

  57. Plume

    Despite the usefulness I think that Amber will find without an amazi-cave (or at least a shed) hiding a fully functional motorcycle will be slightly harder than hiding a yellow jumpsuit.

    1. IncadescentFlame

      One does not simply HIDE the Amazi-Cycle!

  58. Bill

    Motorcycles are so passé, unless she gets one like the lightcycle from the original Tron.

  59. Stephen Bierce

    https://scontent-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-prn1/406536_2744437447484_1599362352_n.jpg
    My concept for the Amazi-Mobile, from 2012.

    1. Stephen Bierce

      It’s basically a full-sized Mario Kart.

      1. Stephen Bierce

        http://24.media.tumblr.com/388855f82bf8525ddef31f81648069ba/tumblr_mw5zv38x481romh4yo1_500.png

    2. Bill

      That will work…..

  60. Kugai

    Or at least a pair of Rollerskates

  61. mrmudkip

    Why is she even chasing sal? She hasn’t done anything wrong recently.

  62. Drillgorg

    Amazi-penny-farthing.

  63. danshive

    “I will citizen arrest her for the crime of having once committed a crime that she has already been punished for!” The perfect plan.

  64. man in black

    At least she thought of a good name for her bike

  65. Czigot

    Rip-off! I call rip-off! I was promised some Amber vs Sal. Where’s my AvS?

  66. Darkflame

    Chucking chemicals all over myself and getting struck by lightening was one of the worst ideas comics have ever given me.
    Top 5 anyway.

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