The isekai reincarnation lottery is truly a gamble.
..of course, we all know that Walky’ll reincarnate into some sort of animate chicken nugget monster. ..or maybe a taco bell burrito, for that sweet sweet armor bonus?
Nah. Both Predator and Great Sage are pure min-max munchkin BS but not truly broken on their own… it’s the combination of the two especially in the body of a slime that is broken IMO.
Okay, you can’t tell me that for one second when Walky said “y’know, your…superhero…thing” Amber wasn’t briefly worried that he somehow knew about the terabytes of SteveXTonyXBuckyXCaptainPlanet fic she has.
Assuming two bytes per character (including punctuation and white space) and overestimating the size of formatting information in multiplying that by 4, a petabyte would mean she typed 10^47 characters of slashfic. Assuming she typed at a blazing fast 100 words per minute (with a 5-keystroke word), and that she never slowed to eat, sleep, plan out the story, do homework, go to class, go to the bathroom, or anything else, writing that much fic would have taken Amber a little over 380 nonillion years. (That’s 380 followed by 36 0s.)
Obviously her petabytes of fanfic include lots of high-resolution fanart as well.
Reltzik
….. oh, wait. Oops. Peta- is 10^15, not 10^50.
Fixing that gives us…. 3800 years. Still implausible.
Needfuldoer
Assuming she didn’t write a slashfic-writing neural network AI.
Reltzik
…..
I don’t know what’s more disturbing.
The way I automatically imagine a narrative in which some proposed, fictional AI causes the downfall of civilization….
… or the ways in which that PARTICULAR proposed AI would go about causing the downfall of civilization.
Man, imagine how impenetrable Superman’s secret identity would be if he wore glasses both as Superman AND Clark Kent.
Anytime someone suggested they might be the same person, everyone would roll their eyes because they obviously just think that because both guys wear glasses.
Honestly, nobody recognizing Superman makes way more sense when you consider that plenty of people look like other people and that Superman is a guy in his 30s with short black hair.
If there’s an uploaded buffer, how come comics don’t update at midnight? Is that part not automated? Is there deliberately delay to frustrate first-posters?
If you want to keep it in sync with real time, use an ntp server. You’ll need administrator access to the server to do that. There are several ntp servers in the net, choose one and teach your server to listen to him.
thejeff
I’m pretty sure DoA is hosted and Willis wouldn’t have the admin access to set up ntp properly.
That said, I’d be kind of concerned about the administration of any hosting service that couldn’t keep their time set up correctly. OTOH, they seem to do okay otherwise.
Alanari
Yeah, I’d also expect a hosting service to set up ntp, that’s why I suspected that it’s not done by a hosting service. But I’m not sure if I’m expecting too much here.
vlademir1
My own experience suggests that unless you’re using a VPS or a private server you’re not going to have access to NTP because like any process it eats some amount of system resources that can be used for things with more demand. Web hosting in particular isn’t usually concerned with 100% accurate time because it’s not commonly [i]that[/i] important in the process of storing and serving up requested pages even on forums (which display post times).
Unless you’re using an atomic clock [interconnected networks of which are the basis for determining standardized time], there’s typically some degree of noticeable drift to any timepiece. For computers, which aren’t meant to function foremost as timekeeping devices, this can be rather noticeable [ie, more than just a few seconds off each year].
Hence, when connecting to any site, you have to keep in mind both that the server may be off a bit and that your own local clock may be off a bit. Those two elements can lead to just enough of a disconnect that it upsets any plans you may have had (but in the end, we’re still talking about a few seconds to a handful of minutes at most, unless the drifts in question are unusually extreme and/or the computers in question are significantly [ie, years] behind in having their times manually updated or automatically synced).
To sum up, the first thing you should always consider is confirming that your local time is set correctly and that automatic syncing is still enabled (the settings for which can be easily found through the Adjust Date/Time screen after right clicking on your computer clock). After that, it’s just a matter of determining what the server time is currently at, since any drift the server has won’t lead to a noticeable difference over a short period of time, meaning you can fairly naturally match up to adjusting for each second of change as it gets added on.
Or you can just look at your cellphone, which is almost certainly being updated with networked time. And Willis already confirmed that his server is off by at least 5 minutes.
Also that she bumped up his grades, which will get him expelled if they get busted.
@ Kris – He knows about that. He’s seen her twitter. 😉 Now the guro fic on the other hand…
DailyBrad
He knows about the grade thing. Also, it could get him in big trouble, but I have my doubts he’d get expelled.
A. It’d mean the school would have to acknowledge a major fuckup on their part that, unlike with something like plagiarism in school papers, isn’t likely to come back to bite them. It’d be a real bad look for the school.
B. Linda’s connection to the Dean means strings would likely be pulled, getting Walky a slap on the wrist at best.
It’s not likely to get discovered, anyway. Only person who gave a shit about Walky’s grades on faculty is slinging suds at Galasso’s now.
Jothki
If it is discovered, it does weaken any potential case that Jason might have that he didn’t show any favoritism to Sal.
Emily
No he doesn’t, he changed his mind about it at the last minute and left but she ignored him and continued on in his absence.
BBCC
What fuckup is that? Amber’s the one who changed the grades by hacking the school system. That’s on Amber, not the school. And Jason wasn’t fired for Walky’s grades, it was for banging a student (something he actually did).
thejeff
Well, if they realize the grades were changed, but don’t know how, they might blame the one who was busted for sex with his sister.
BBCC
If they’re able to find the grades were changed, it shouldn’t be too hard to find out when. That would date it after Jason got canned.
Alanari
They never found out it was sal.
BBCC
That’s not quite clear. Jason was told if he wanted to dispute it, he’d have to talk to the tribunal with the affected student. Penny didn’t know they were really banging, but she may have given Sal’s name if she was the other TA that Jason asked to mark Sal’s stuff.
Personally, I don’t think they have a name, but regardless, the school’s unlikely to let Walky off the hook even in this scenario. That doesn’t sound like ‘The guy banging your sister changed your grade to throw us off’ it sounds like ‘your sister got her boyfriend to up your grade, you cheater.’
BBCC
Never mind, just double checked and Jason did say they don’t know it was Sal.
Catman
If they notice the grade change they might think Jason was sleeping with Walky. He was tutoring him before he got outed as sleeping with a student
Well, there was the time she beat her dad unconscious. And the time she stabbed her boyfriend’s sister. And the time she tried to provoke her boyfriend’s sister into fighting her for no good reason. And the time she dated Danny. And the time she was in a web porno. With Danny.
120 thoughts on “Crush”
Ana Chronistic
*Amber runs back to her room and destroys her hard drive before getting stabbed and reincarnated as a slime*
*…*
*wait no that would be weird*
Ana Chronistic
(I was gonna say Billie would be a funnier punchline but I bet he saw them both somewhere)
HeySo
The isekai reincarnation lottery is truly a gamble.
..of course, we all know that Walky’ll reincarnate into some sort of animate chicken nugget monster. ..or maybe a taco bell burrito, for that sweet sweet armor bonus?
Rowen Morland
Willis style reincarnation just involves you reincarnating into yourself with more up to date problems.
Delavan
Oh gawd it’s already made the DoA comments… truly, Predator is a Bahroken ability.
vlademir1
Nah. Both Predator and Great Sage are pure min-max munchkin BS but not truly broken on their own… it’s the combination of the two especially in the body of a slime that is broken IMO.
Tacos
They get more broken once they evolve.
Doctor_Who
Okay, you can’t tell me that for one second when Walky said “y’know, your…superhero…thing” Amber wasn’t briefly worried that he somehow knew about the terabytes of SteveXTonyXBuckyXCaptainPlanet fic she has.
John
I’m pretty sure that everyone knows about that, because she not only collects it, she writes it, and then makes her friends read it.
InsertJoJosReference
Pfft terabytes. She used multiple cloud storage servers in conjunction with each other. She has PETABYTES
Reltzik
Assuming two bytes per character (including punctuation and white space) and overestimating the size of formatting information in multiplying that by 4, a petabyte would mean she typed 10^47 characters of slashfic. Assuming she typed at a blazing fast 100 words per minute (with a 5-keystroke word), and that she never slowed to eat, sleep, plan out the story, do homework, go to class, go to the bathroom, or anything else, writing that much fic would have taken Amber a little over 380 nonillion years. (That’s 380 followed by 36 0s.)
Obviously her petabytes of fanfic include lots of high-resolution fanart as well.
Reltzik
….. oh, wait. Oops. Peta- is 10^15, not 10^50.
Fixing that gives us…. 3800 years. Still implausible.
Needfuldoer
Assuming she didn’t write a slashfic-writing neural network AI.
Reltzik
…..
I don’t know what’s more disturbing.
The way I automatically imagine a narrative in which some proposed, fictional AI causes the downfall of civilization….
… or the ways in which that PARTICULAR proposed AI would go about causing the downfall of civilization.
Paulinir
I for one welcome our new robot overlords.
Rowen Morland
When they say the internet is 90% porn, it is because of Amber.
(Actually that sounds like something you’d say a sick burn to someone you were slut shaming.)
HeySo
“the terabytes of SteveXTonyXBuckyXCaptainPlanet fic she has.”
In my head-canon, that’s all true but the Bucky in question was Bucky O’ Hare.
Rectilinear Propagation
She knows Wally already knows about her fanfic because of that conversation they had on Twitter.
butts
they both, uhh, wear glasses I guess?
theory: confirmed
Doctor_Who
Man, imagine how impenetrable Superman’s secret identity would be if he wore glasses both as Superman AND Clark Kent.
Anytime someone suggested they might be the same person, everyone would roll their eyes because they obviously just think that because both guys wear glasses.
Some1
Honestly, nobody recognizing Superman makes way more sense when you consider that plenty of people look like other people and that Superman is a guy in his 30s with short black hair.
Oh my God, Bruce Wayne is Superman.
Doctor_Who
Ta-Dah! Sard borken.
Khyrin
Damn you(WILLIS!) for beating me to the reference.
Ragnarok
What is this a reference to? Is Superman drunk? Or is it a Bizarro clone?
StClair
“Kal-El. This development was highly improbable.”
Bagge
*Danny pops up from behind a flowerpot* “AHA! I KNEW there was more than one!”
http://www.dumbingofage.com/2014/comic/book-4/03-up-all-night-to-get-vengeance/evasive/
HeySo
Jacob pops out behind Danny. “Nooo, now you know my secret!”
Dina pops out behind Jacob “Is this a thing we’re doing now? I am good at this, I think.”
Faz pops out behind Dina “Yes, but Faz is Great.”
drs
If there’s an uploaded buffer, how come comics don’t update at midnight? Is that part not automated? Is there deliberately delay to frustrate first-posters?
David M Willis
The website updates automatically at 12:01am per the website’s server time.
The thing is the website’s server time kind of decays, and it’s at like 12:06 or so at the moment.
Alanari
If you want to keep it in sync with real time, use an ntp server. You’ll need administrator access to the server to do that. There are several ntp servers in the net, choose one and teach your server to listen to him.
thejeff
I’m pretty sure DoA is hosted and Willis wouldn’t have the admin access to set up ntp properly.
That said, I’d be kind of concerned about the administration of any hosting service that couldn’t keep their time set up correctly. OTOH, they seem to do okay otherwise.
Alanari
Yeah, I’d also expect a hosting service to set up ntp, that’s why I suspected that it’s not done by a hosting service. But I’m not sure if I’m expecting too much here.
vlademir1
My own experience suggests that unless you’re using a VPS or a private server you’re not going to have access to NTP because like any process it eats some amount of system resources that can be used for things with more demand. Web hosting in particular isn’t usually concerned with 100% accurate time because it’s not commonly [i]that[/i] important in the process of storing and serving up requested pages even on forums (which display post times).
drs
ntpd takes very little resources.
John
The server clock drifts.
Marsh Maryrose
Wibbly wobbly, timey wimey.
HeySo
Unless you’re using an atomic clock [interconnected networks of which are the basis for determining standardized time], there’s typically some degree of noticeable drift to any timepiece. For computers, which aren’t meant to function foremost as timekeeping devices, this can be rather noticeable [ie, more than just a few seconds off each year].
Hence, when connecting to any site, you have to keep in mind both that the server may be off a bit and that your own local clock may be off a bit. Those two elements can lead to just enough of a disconnect that it upsets any plans you may have had (but in the end, we’re still talking about a few seconds to a handful of minutes at most, unless the drifts in question are unusually extreme and/or the computers in question are significantly [ie, years] behind in having their times manually updated or automatically synced).
To sum up, the first thing you should always consider is confirming that your local time is set correctly and that automatic syncing is still enabled (the settings for which can be easily found through the Adjust Date/Time screen after right clicking on your computer clock). After that, it’s just a matter of determining what the server time is currently at, since any drift the server has won’t lead to a noticeable difference over a short period of time, meaning you can fairly naturally match up to adjusting for each second of change as it gets added on.
drs
Or you can just look at your cellphone, which is almost certainly being updated with networked time. And Willis already confirmed that his server is off by at least 5 minutes.
Bagge
The real question is, did Walky ever try that whole power suit thing?
http://www.dumbingofage.com/2014/comic/book-4/02-i-was-a-teenage-churchmouse/reporter/
Deanatay
Nope, Dorothy wouldn’t let him shave his head.
Amber? Amber might… but she probably wouldn’t let him be a super-villain…
Stephen Bierce
*plays “Karma Chameleon” on the hacked Muzak*
Pablo360
Oh right, comments with multiple hyperlinks do weird things. The point is the answer to Walky’s question is, “only twice”.
Defensor
Are we supposed to know what this deepest darkest secret is?
Catman
I think it’s that she stabbed his sister
Kris
Or perhaps even her rage issues and possible abusive tendencies she’s been actively suppressing. That pairs pretty well with the sister stabbing.
Bagge
It might be of a “stabbed your sister” nature.
Or possibly a “superhero thing is actually a case of multiple personalities, and they don’t agree super well”
Who says Amber can’t have more than one?
Kris
Actually I just realized it’s none of that but the literal terabyte of Captain America x Bucky slash fiction she’s wrote. Not all of it’s good.
Emily
Do we have a basis to assume ANY of Amber’s fanfiction is good?
Bagge
Panel 4 says “Yes”
http://www.dumbingofage.com/2015/comic/book-6/02-that-perfect-girl/au/
Khyrin
Circumstantial. That just means her fanfic gets Danny and Ethan’s motor running, if you know what I mean. winky-face emoji.
BBCC
Also that she bumped up his grades, which will get him expelled if they get busted.
@ Kris – He knows about that. He’s seen her twitter. 😉 Now the guro fic on the other hand…
DailyBrad
He knows about the grade thing. Also, it could get him in big trouble, but I have my doubts he’d get expelled.
A. It’d mean the school would have to acknowledge a major fuckup on their part that, unlike with something like plagiarism in school papers, isn’t likely to come back to bite them. It’d be a real bad look for the school.
B. Linda’s connection to the Dean means strings would likely be pulled, getting Walky a slap on the wrist at best.
It’s not likely to get discovered, anyway. Only person who gave a shit about Walky’s grades on faculty is slinging suds at Galasso’s now.
Jothki
If it is discovered, it does weaken any potential case that Jason might have that he didn’t show any favoritism to Sal.
Emily
No he doesn’t, he changed his mind about it at the last minute and left but she ignored him and continued on in his absence.
BBCC
What fuckup is that? Amber’s the one who changed the grades by hacking the school system. That’s on Amber, not the school. And Jason wasn’t fired for Walky’s grades, it was for banging a student (something he actually did).
thejeff
Well, if they realize the grades were changed, but don’t know how, they might blame the one who was busted for sex with his sister.
BBCC
If they’re able to find the grades were changed, it shouldn’t be too hard to find out when. That would date it after Jason got canned.
Alanari
They never found out it was sal.
BBCC
That’s not quite clear. Jason was told if he wanted to dispute it, he’d have to talk to the tribunal with the affected student. Penny didn’t know they were really banging, but she may have given Sal’s name if she was the other TA that Jason asked to mark Sal’s stuff.
Personally, I don’t think they have a name, but regardless, the school’s unlikely to let Walky off the hook even in this scenario. That doesn’t sound like ‘The guy banging your sister changed your grade to throw us off’ it sounds like ‘your sister got her boyfriend to up your grade, you cheater.’
BBCC
Never mind, just double checked and Jason did say they don’t know it was Sal.
Catman
If they notice the grade change they might think Jason was sleeping with Walky. He was tutoring him before he got outed as sleeping with a student
John
Well, there was the time she beat her dad unconscious. And the time she stabbed her boyfriend’s sister. And the time she tried to provoke her boyfriend’s sister into fighting her for no good reason. And the time she dated Danny. And the time she was in a web porno. With Danny.
Keulen
Wait, when was Amber in a web porno? I thought that was Joe and Roz, with the camera attached to Danny’s sleeping foot.
BBCC
It’s a joke about the slipshines.
NickG
And the second time she was in a web porno. With Danny. And the time her AU self was in a web porno. With Mike.
Keulen
Amber’s secretly an alien from Krypton sent to Earth as a baby when her planet was destroyed.
Kris
Remember kids! The key to any good relationship is the strong foundation of secrets they’re built upon!
Derek
Is Walky thinking of Billie?
cbwroses
Maybe?
She shares two criteria that Walky seems to like in women he’s found attractive: she wears glasses and Danny found her attractive.
Bagge
My money is on the Sensitive Scanner.
And if Dorothy ever finds out he will bury that shame even deeper than his past as a mouse boy.
Badgermole
What’s the Sensitive Scanner?
My first thought was it’s Dorothy.
Bagge
It’s a character in Dexter and Monkey Master.
http://www.dumbingofage.com/tag/sensitive-scanner/