137

Chances
Posted on November 26, 2019 by David M Willis

137 thoughts on “Chances”

  1. Ana Chronistic

    “…finishing this sentence”

    1. WaterKey

      …..I was refreshing out of idle interest in seeing if I could somehow beat you. It first showed for me at 12:04am (9:04pm, cause west coast), and your post is at 12:01am.

      HOW!?

      1. Kyrik Michalowski

        Ana is part of the machine, there is no winning, only disappointment and confusion.

      2. Beef

        Secret patreon tier, Ana gets to queue comments like Willis queues comics

      3. Tacos

        Time travel.

      4. Marsh Maryrose

        Haven’t you seen The Matrix? Ana is The One.

      5. Rex Vivat

        This has its own timeline, a few minutes out of phase. Notice you only got to see the comic at 12:04am, and yet your comment says it was posted at 12:03am.

        1. Archivist

          It’s right there in their name. Anachronistic.

      6. Needfuldoer

        The site’s been online long enough to gain sentience, and it manifests itself in the form of Ana. Sometimes even in the strip!

      7. Mr. Random

        I took a few comments to track down the server’s time slide and then a few to figure out the minute changeover, then a prediction on where the next comic would land, for me to beat them ONCE.
        Ya gotta commit to beat the Patreon crew.

      8. djhash

        It’s simple. You need to understand the name being used here. Ana Chronistic.. It’s a combination of Arabic, Greek and English.

        ‘Ana’ translated from Arabic means “I am”
        “Chronistic” an adjective made from Chronos, greek for “Personification of time”, and the adjective suffix “istic” meaning “of or pertaining to”.

        So in summation; that name means.. “I am of time!”

    2. Thursday Violist

      “At the expense of him admitting he’s wrong about Transformers.”

      1. Yotomoe

        “Go bots were the superior IP and nobody gave it a chance. It’s obvious in hindsight.”

  2. Blanche Quizno

    SCARY

    1. Yumi

      Yeah, Mike just blipped out of existence.

  3. BBCC

    Aww, is Mike sad?

    Good.

    1. Nono

      The amount of schadenfreude Mike inspires is kind of… staggering.

      I’m no fan of the guy either, but even Raidah didn’t inspire that level of ‘good, they deserve to be miserable’.

      1. Kyrik Michalowski

        That’s because Mike is one of the worst students, he isn’t quite on par with the parents but he comes close.

        1. GoblinScribe

          It’s also soooo fucking satisfying to see a character call Mike out to his face. Who’d have thought it would be Danny who would see through Mike’s BS and call him what he is: A manipulative abuser?

        2. Jay

          How? What evils has mike done aside from being kind of an asshole to people

        3. Deadjolras

          I feel like that question has come up in almost every strip Mike has been in.

        4. Deathjavu

          I’ll just leave this here:

          http://www.dumbingofage.com/2018/comic/book-8/04-of-mike-and-men/recording/

          And that took me all of 5 seconds to find, and is probably not even the worst Mike’s done. But it really does illustrate how weirdly acceptive people are of Mike’s harassment.

        5. Woomy

          I don’t take Mike seriously because he seems to be more of a one-dimensional caricature of an asshole, than a fleshed-our character

        6. Charlie Spencer

          I lump him in with Faz, as annoying characters who hopefully will never be central to a major story line and I wouldn’t miss if they never showed up again.

        7. GoblinScribe

          I wish he was more like Galasso. I can tell Willis is trying to make Mike more “serious”, but he’d be a better character if he was just a weirdly antipathic creep Amber and Ethan remember from high school who now runs a Youtube channel about the dangers of Presbytarian immigration.

          He’s a Shortstacked character to the core.

        8. thejeff

          That strip includes the answer to the question as well as a good example of what he’s done.

      2. Regalli

        I mean, there’s regular levels of asshole and there’s ‘elaborately spoof websites so you can make your roommate cry and record him doing so.’ That’s just… an incredibly pointlessly sadistic move.

        And it’s still definitely (and deliberately) ambiguous whether Mike meant what he said in his last Blaine confrontation – whether he genuinely, tragically thought he was helping Amber by blackmailing Blaine into driving her for the field trip of doom, or if he actually wanted her and her abuser to be stuck in a car together all day, ‘making each other miserable’. If it’s the former? Then yeah, there’s still a chance for him to turn things around someday. Maybe not with Ethan and Amber – a lot of trust’s been burned – but still possible. If it’s the latter? Then he was an absolute garbage person well beyond what’s expected for either tweens or edgelords. I’m not sure you can ever come back from that.

        1. Icalasari

          Honestly, I think him doing that to Blaine was serious, but it was the day he snapped and became the asshole. There’s SOME reason behind all his assholery, we just need to see what

        2. Regalli

          If you mean ‘he didn’t realize/intend that Amber would be abused on this trip, but became an asshole when he saw that didn’t work’, then sure.

          If you mean ‘he decided, on that day, to deliberately put Amber in a position where she would be abused, for hours on end’… That’s not assholish. That’s monstrous. There is no good reason why someone should do that to another person. Period.

      3. BBCC

        Raidah’s an asshole, sure, but Mike’s pointlessly sadistic and totally lacking any decent qualities in his interactions with people. At least with Raidah you can say she cares about her friends (whether she’s GOOD at helping is a different question, but still) and is loyal to them.

        Also depends on what the person is doing to them. I took issue with Joyce’s behaviour earlier, yeah, but if she had just called Raidah on being a condescending asshole a lot of the time, I’d have been there with her. Nothing Danny has said has been nice, but it’s also not really wrong or unjustified by past interactions.

        1. Nono

          Who’s lower on that scale though, Mike or Mary?

          I feel like Mike is somehow lower for people because people still antagonize Mary in-comic and Carla got her comeuppance, and Mike is only just now getting some lashback.

        2. BBCC

          Mary is worse for me, but Mike’s lack of backlash is making this cathartic for me, yes.

        3. DaveM

          For me? Mike.
          Mary may be a self centred hypocritical judgemental moralising blackmailer, but at least you can kind of understand why she acts that way. Mike however, has no motivations, no reason, he’s a somewhat sadistic asshat just for the sake of being a somewhat sadistic asshat.

          Maybe we’ll get some character development to explain this, but until then, Mary has more dimensions (if if they are warped).

        4. thejeff

          Mary’s more understandable and coherent, but Mike’s lack of apparent reasons doesn’t make her a better person.

        5. Meagan

          Just because you don’t know Mike’s motivations doesn’t mean he doesn’t have them.

    2. Kyrik Michalowski

      It’s not fair that he can just dip out when he starts to feel vulnerable, come back and face your sadness Mike.

      1. JetstreamGW

        Because we’re assuming that he’s not manipulating Danny right now… why?

        1. Tunasammich

          I’m assuming that he is

        2. Zee

          Because we’ve been seeing him show a more vulnerable side regarding Ethan after they slept together when no one else was around. But manipulation can come from genuine emotion too. Tbh I just want my boy to get some character development

        3. vitalProximity

          Yes, please and thank you. That’s all I really want too.

  4. Nono

    That’s great, Dan. Now stop giving Joe chances.

    1. abysswatcher1993

      When that happens Joe will be like “Guess Joyce was right about consequences… Or was that Danny who said it first?”

    2. thejeff

      Have we really seen Joe & Danny interact since his relapse?

  5. Beef

    Mike loves Ethan sorry it’s canon

    1. LeslieBean4shizzle

      Or Mike wants Danny to THINK he loves Ethan.
      I honestly can’t tell.

      1. DailyBrad

        He looks teary eyed here, and I dunno, I don’t think he’d drum up crocodile tears for Danny’s benefit.

        I’m more inclined to think he wanted to show Ethan he could be a gay man, and that he could play the field, and it looks like he either caught feelings or wishes he could have kept it going, but knows he’s kinda poison.

        1. thejeff

          Of course he’d drum of crocodile tears for Danny’s benefit. This is Mike.

          I don’t know if he is, but if that was part of a scheme he definitely would.

        2. begbert2

          Teary eyed wait what?

          I know what shade of cyan Willis uses for tears, and it ain’t present.

        3. Felian

          Yes, this is the same serious look he had when he asked Ethan to have sex with him. I do think that Mike has feelings for Ethan.
          If at the same time, he can mess with Danny who’s got feelings too, win-win for Mike.

  6. Kyrik Michalowski

    Come on Mike, open up a little to Danny, he is relatively harmless. It is why Sal likes him too.

    1. Jamie

      The term is “mostly harmless”.

      1. Jeff K!,

        That’s for planets.

        1. Zee

          Or Nugget

        2. Roborat

          Or beginner Elite Dangerous players.

  7. Cholma

    [Narrator] When Mike said, “I did your mom for a nickel” what he really meant was, “I love you.”

    1. GoblinScribe

      Oh my gosh you made me laugh. I heard this in Grandpa’s *exact voice*.

      1. Cholma

        [Narrator] Mike doesn’t kiss Danny at this time.
        [GoblinScribe] What?
        [Narrator] He doesn’t kiss him. I’m explaining to you because you look nervous.

  8. lia47

    danny’s fucking face in the last panel jhhgsdkfhs hes like “hm what was that”

    1. DailyBrad

      I mean, how else do you react to seeing a trickster god shit-stirrer on the verge of tears? It’s got to be jarring as hell.

  9. Dean

    Ethan is currently holding a bag of nickels and has a puzzled expression on his face.

    1. GoblinScribe

      At the expense of…

      … your mother.

    2. Stephen Bierce

      I Just Got Paid Today
      I got me a Pocket Full of Change…

      1. Geneseepaws

        I dunno,
        But I think I might,
        ‘Cause I gotta pocket
        Full of Kryptonite.

  10. Tacos

    No Alt-text, everything is NOT going all according to keikaku.

    1. abysswatcher1993

      Plan means tactical contingistrat

    2. LeslieBean4shizzle

      I misunderstood your comment for a second and went back up because I was like “wait, there’s no alt text? Probably an error not foreshadowing” – and then I reread the alt text and was like “OH.”

  11. abysswatcher1993

    Cue for the ending scene of Rick and Morty’s The Old Man and the Seat. No rest for the wicked.

    1. oh no

      I’m still reeling from that. Pretty powerful.

      1. Delicious Taffy

        That’s a nice Gravatar you got, there. Got the flag, got the peace sign, it’s a good theme.

  12. Suet

    Trade-off: Plans being Dan’d up

    You only become spineless once the uke is played, too, so it’s a double Danning

    1. sirconanad

      A “Double Danning” is also what I’d imagine a threesome between Mike, Ethan and Danny be called, and I’m voting for it next election.

      1. Suet

        Best threesome write-in campaign ever, if we could say so ourselves.

        Ethan-Dan-Mike – “As EDM as dubstep”
        Mike-Ethan-Dan – “Take your MEDs”
        Dan-Mike-Ethan – “Run DME”

  13. Adam Black

    … “Us.”

  14. Bagge

    Good for you, standing up to him Danny.

    1. Jay

      Standing up for what? Mikes for once done nothing wrong

      1. BigDogLittleCat

        Mike is an asshole. He has hurt Danny’s friends. He walked up to Danny when Danny was minding his own business, and opened the with a weird comment to Danny. Danny doesn’t need to wait until Mike tries to hurt him to tell Mike he’s an asshole and he doesn’t want to deal with him.
        If Mike doesn’t want people to talk to him the way Danny is, welp, that’s what happens when you put so much effort into cultivating your reputation as an asshole.

        The downside of being a professional asshole is, people treat you like you’re an asshole even when you’re not actively being an asshole.

      2. Bagge

        Or, you know

        http://www.dumbingofage.com/2012/comic/book-3/01-if-the-shoes-split/waving/

  15. ninja_jesus

    Can we get an F in the comments section for Mike’s vulnerability?

    1. PB

      F

      1. Delicious Taffy

        F

  16. Jay

    AH SHIT

  17. Moon

    ominous

  18. Deadjolras

    Oh Danny, you’re honestly becoming one of my favourite characters. You go, you.

    … It’s the hat, isn’t it?

    1. Astro-L

      Big ol’ +1 from me

      I think the precise moment he became my favorite character may actually have been when Joyce could only remember him as a floating hat.

    2. PB

      Saaaaamesies. He’s gotten a lot of much-needed development and it shows. <3

  19. Yotomoe

    At the expense of what? AT THE EXPENSE OF WHAT. Tell me it’s not Dinobot. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD TELL ME IT’S NOT DINOBOT.

  20. Badgermole

    Mike is a very interesting ethical litmus test for the fandom at large. The question he provokes is: Are there some people who are so dislikable that we will approve when they suffer? And I mean suffer as in really feel the twist-in-the-gut pain that comes with being human. Are there some people to whose pain we will say “Good, they deserve it”?

    Few things make me feel as bad as the suffering of others, even when they’re Bad People. I wonder where the rest of you stand.

    1. Anon a Mouse

      Upon thinking of your question and looking inside myself, I find that i’m oddly opposite. In general I prefer to see bad people suffer as opposed to not suffering, but only to a degree. The thing is, and it’s true both in real life and here, is that we don’t know the extent Mike is feeling or if he even IS suffering, or if it’s more of a lingering regret. Also it depends a significant amount on what level of asshole you consider Mike. Some things he has done, as others have said, could easily range from simple maliciousness gone wrong to some really scummy things depending on his intent. Honestly at this point I don’t think Mike deserves to suffer because I don’t know what his real intent is but I WILL say that this is a situation he brought upon himself and so deserves whatever he gets from it.

      1. Terry

        I’m sorry, but with your avatar being Mary, I am projecting a fair amount of viciousness into your comment. I know it’s meant as a genuine self-reflective analysis of the situation and your feelings toward it, but I imagine Mary saying it and I really can imagine her saying this with a self-satisfied, better-than-you, nose up facial expression. It kinda makes an interesting point that people form opinions about other people and then find it difficult not to form assumptions about their motivations based on pre-conceived notions of their personality. I don’t even have any opinions about you as a person, but I do about Mary. And because you are wearing her face, it makes it a little hard to separate. I think that’s why so many people are finding it hard to trust that Mike is actually being vulnerable right now.

        1. Anon a Mouse

          I will admit to a certain very small amount of pleasure having Mary randomly end up my avatar because my views do not line up with hers. However, as you said the face being shown can affect how someone views a message. My views are entirely my own but being able to have that little bit of baggage randomly attached in the form of a small picture is interesting to me and your comment is exactly why. Thank you very much for that. If I may clarify a bit, I meant that in general I prefer a situation where a person who has done wrong is made to suffer an equivalent wrong. I am not suggesting any kind of scale for this equivalence as I know that this is more of a personal desire than a system for balance. I do not like to see people in pain, any kind of pain, as it hurts me inside to see that. It doesn’t change the thought that some people “deserve” pain.

        2. thejeff

          There’s a difference between reading into someone’s statements based on pre-conceived notions based on their avatar and reading into someone’s statements based on past experience with them.
          We have trouble trusting Mike because he’s been shown to be a manipulative asshole. That’s a problem with having a history as a manipulative asshole. People stop trusting you, even if you actually try to change.

    2. monkyvirus

      I think if the suffering is a consequence of their actions then it’s fair. So here where Danny is just being rude, well mike deserves that for being awful all the time. I wouldn’t think it was fair if mike fell and broke his leg or something.

      1. Sam

        This is where I stand too. If you are a rude cruel person to people, then I might not be rude myself, but it is fair that others are rude and distrusting of you. But if you were rude then fell down a staircase and broke your leg, I’d still call an ambulance for you.

        Even the worst types of people, I wouldn’t personally be okay with hurting myself or think that hurting them is necessarily the right thing to do in general (individual situations vary). But that’s because I try to draw a distinction between what someone ‘deserves’, which is abstract and not clearly definable and ‘how humans should be treated’. Someone may ‘deserve’ it, but we should still do better than that because we’re not monsters, we’re all humans.

      2. Regalli

        Agreed. Like, the consequence I want most for Mike is for people to stop hanging out with him because he’s a perennial asshole, and for Mike to subsequently realize he is the problem and try and change.

    3. Zee

      I just like watching my favorite characters suffer. Especially ones like Mike who are so one dimensional and need an emotional punch in the gut for character development

    4. BBCC

      When they’re fictional? Absolutely.

      When they’re real, I feel more iffy on wishing bad things on them. Depends how bad they are and what’s being wished on them and who’s doing the wishing, but that’s my general rule.

  21. Eli

    I want to believe that Mike is exhibiting genuine emotional heartbreak in his eyes, but he specifically made a plan to fuck with Danny and break HIS heart through Ethan, so I can’t jump on the train of “aww, poor Mike” quite yet. I’m hoping he’s actually growing tho!!!

    1. Wraithy2773

      He’s a college student, he’s not an evil mastermind. Don’t expect him to be entirely consistent or for his plans to go exactly as he expects them to, just because that’s how Walkyverse!Mike usually was.

      1. Eli

        I don’t know anything about the previous iterations of characters and the comics they were in. I’m assuming the Walkyverse!Mike was an evil mastermind based off of what you’re saying, and I definitely don’t think he’s that. I just can’t trust what I’m seeing. I’ll believe his teary eyes when I see more substance! >:3

        1. Kabo

          Walkyverse Mike wasn’t an evil mastermind. He was just an asshole who liked to kick people in the nuts.

        2. thejeff

          SP!Mike had become more of the evil mastermind.

        3. Kinoko

          SP!Mike became less and less of a problem as his relationship with Amber deepened, IMO. He was still cartoonishly over the top and rarely had to deal with any consequences, but Amber softened him quite a bit.

        4. Mr.Morningstar

          I forget that alot of people here havent read its walky or shortpacked. And that’s a weird thing to think about

  22. Sirksome

    Oh come off it Mike! You had sex with Ethan you didn’t give him your kidney!

    1. Delicious Taffy

      You clearly haven’t read the latest Slipshine story, if you think they’ve got 4 kidneys between them.

      1. StClair

        I would think that doing it with kidneys – like, there in bed with them – would be awkward and messy.

  23. Valerie

    OMG MIKE CAUGHT FEELINGS YESSSS

    1. Keulen

      It does seem like Mike may have developed feelings for Ethan. Or he could be just messing with Danny. But I suspect it’s the former.

  24. Deathjavu

    People not wanting to be around you is an expected consequence of being an asshole, Mike. This should not be news.

  25. Woomy

    Why are these 18 year olds so dramatic

    1. Deathjavu

      “Why is all this water so wet?”

      1. Yotomoe

        In my experience that means it’s very turned on.

    2. Zee

      Maybe because it’s a drama comic

  26. JessWitt

    Danny standing up to Mike and Mike getting the feels for Ethan. That’s a one-two punch right there.

  27. lensi

    I really like this storyline a lot. I hope to see more where Mike is coming from and what changed him.

  28. PB

    No. NO, Mike, you don’t GET to make me wibble –

    Who am I kidding. After we read your backstory you totally do.

    1. PB

      To be clear, he’s still an asshole. Having good reasons for being an asshole doesn’t make you NOT an asshole. But assholes can still be sympathetic and redeemable. And hopefully in the end, Mike will turn out to be both.

  29. BenRG

    At the expense of his heart and will to go on, one thing that Mike never knew that he had and the other that he never knew it was possible to lose.

    1. PB

      Well said. Also, wibbles. Something I never knew I could do for Mike until recently. :c

  30. Charles Phipps

    Mike is basically just your typical Edgelord. It’s just that Dumbing of Age is in a time when those are as common as grains of sand. I think part of the fun is him becoming aware this is not a unique or helpful attitude.

  31. Jago

    I misread it as ‘sit on your face’ which is not always the best threat, but it was pretty funny until I realized what it actually said.

  32. Hellsing

    Ok I’m not sure I get it? Mike’s clearly teary-eyed but I can’t follow the reasoning to why… Current hypothesis:
    > Mike genuinely likes Ethan
    > Mike started hooking up w Ethan to mess with Danny
    > (Because Danny is clearly interested in Ethan, and vice versa)
    > Here he realizes that Danny doesn’t care that Mike’s hooking up with Ethan, as long as Ethan isn’t hurt. And this whole thing has actually been on his (Mike’s) expense, not Danny’s.

    This is slightly convoluted though, so I feel like I’ve missed something

    1. DarkoNeko

      At the expense of Mike himself

    2. Sam

      Mike actually likes Ethan. His initial plan was to hook up with him to make Danny jealous. But closer to the actual time, he changed his mind, gave Ethan an actual confidence boost and THEN had sex with him. It made Ethan more confident and embrace his sexuality. Mike did it at the expense to himself but Danny wasn’t in his contemplation at the time and doesn’t actually care if he has made Danny jealous or not. He just. Decided to be nice to Ethan.

      1. thejeff

        Anything’s possible, but the plan does seem to have worked, at least partially. Danny hasn’t been reduced to a whimpering mess, but he has been showing signs of jealousy.

        1. Sam

          The point isn’t whether the plan worked or not but whether he still cared if that occurred or not and honestly we haven’t seen Mike making any effort to ensure Danny knew and would get jealous. Normally he is meticulous when it comes to his crafted plans to harm others.

      2. facedepu

        Honestly, it’s towards Danny that he’s looking all teary-eyed. So… I think maybe he’s got something for Danny.

        1. PB

          It could be that he envies Danny and Ethan, for their ability to move on from this while he can’t.

  33. DarkoNeko

    …I’m not sure where else to post this but… Walky exists. He’s real and still like McNuggets.

  34. Rabisch

    Everything? I don’t think so.â…• is more probably

  35. CMasta

    Mike being bummed out and paying for the consequences of his actions? Golly but my birthday isn’t for another five months

  36. FacelessDeviant

    Did he just Batman out of that conversation?

  37. TheFlamingonator

    “… of the death of a bachelor?”

    did someone already make this reference

  38. Diana

    Mike may be an asshole, but I’m also half convinced most of the shit he says is made up, and he’s got +5 proficiency with expertise in Deception. His whole thing is fucking with people’s minds, but while the shit he says is pretty horrible, no one, that I’ve seen, has really been worried about it, they’ve just avoided him as much as possible. I’m also half convinced all of his bullshit is a self defense mechanism because pretty sure his little past flashback blurb was a lead up to him getting kicked down for trying to defend his friends.

    1. Ellegos

      It also seems like a good portion of the time Mike has acted as a catalyst for growth in some of the other characters. There have been times when his messing with people has forced them to at least acknowledge, if not outright confront problems that they had been trying desperately to ignore pr avoid confronting.

      Now, whether this was intentional on Mike’s part, or an unintended consequence of constant fuckery, I don’t know. But I feel like it just might be the former. He fucks with his friends enough to ensure they never think he actually cares about them (the self-defense mechanism you mention) while occasionally fucking with them in ways that are productive… ESPECIALLY in Ethan’s case.

  39. Elsendor

    CAUGHT IN YOUR OWN NET

  40. Elsendor

    im p sure mike was intending for ethan to catch feelings and instead he did and i am LIVING for this

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

*

*

*

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.