86

Guilty
Posted on May 27, 2013 by David M Willis

86 thoughts on “Guilty”

  1. Jen Aside

    In the food… COURT??

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      Have a JUDGE-mint!

      1. DrunkenGator

        Hey now. I demand ORDER in the Court!

        …by the way, don’t eat the fish.

        1. Yotomoe

          Yeah. The CARPe Diem is a little raw.

        2. Wonder Wig

          Keep your hands away from her while she’s eating because Miranda BITES.

        3. Yotomoe

          Yeah. So BAILIFF you see her coming.

        4. Aizat

          Well, I WITNESS the meaning of the joke.

        5. TheBenenator

          OBJECTION! Too many puns!

        6. Aizat

          OVERRULED! You can never have too many puns.

        7. MichaelHaneline

          While you guys are wasting times making puns, I’m going to go get a slice of that 3-lawyer chocolate cake.

        8. NobodySpecial

          Joyce is just trying to avoid telling Dorothy that she has the body.

        9. Wonder Wig

          I was once a SUE chef at the food court.

        10. Chronos

          You’re all under arrest for a SALT with a deadly weapon.

        11. Neospector

          I think I’ll just order some Habeas CREPES.

        12. DrunkenGator

          I think all this talk WARRANTs a slice of cherry pie with those crepes.

          …what?

        13. Andiemus

          I submit my brief Amicus Culinae.

        14. Sy

          YES! I REALIZE this is a late response, I only just started reading this comic, but YES!

          Also I hope your stepson doesn’t eat the fish… hell I hope you don’t end up in a situation where you get step children but time’s rearrangin, changin you and me…

    2. saltchocolate

      Or at the BAR?

  2. Khantalas

    That was horrible and I feel horrible for laughing at it.

    1. saltchocolate

      I live for puns like this!

  3. Plasma Mongoose

    Joyce, if it wasn’t for the fact you don’t HAVE a job, I would suggest that you keep it.

    1. Viredae

      What if her job was a professional pun… sayer, thingy?

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        You can get paid to pun? I feel bad for doing it for free now. 😛

        1. Robin

          “If you’re good at something, never do it for free”. The Joker is a smart guy, we should probably listen to him.

        2. Pseudowolf

          Unless he wants to show you a magic trick.

        3. Mr. Random

          Hopefully the job would have a good …. punsion.

      2. Thasvaddef

        Punslinger

  4. David Herbert

    Everybody on three. 1, 2, 3…

    *Collective groan*

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      UUUUUURG!

      1. Yotomoe

        RAGGLE FRAGGLE!!!

        1. Rex Hondo

          *quickly changes gravatars*

          RARGLE BLARGLE!!!

        2. Aizat

          A Grim Adventures reference? Damn, I old.

        3. Yotomoe

          Not really. That show was only on 10 ye-
          oh god… no!!!

        4. Hoboturtle

          AW! Somebody help me!

    2. Aizat

      Why? Sounds like a joke I would do….though I always joke about the “order” bit.

  5. timemonkey

    Excellent deflection by Joyce, but how long can she keep it up and still maintain her relationship with Dorothy.

  6. Kernanator

    Is it a bad sign that I actually found this pretty funny?

    1. BlueRam

      Of course not. Puns are the HEIGHT of comedic wit!

      1. Yotomoe

        My Jokebook DON’T WANT NONE UNLESS YOU GOT PUNS, HON.

        1. Rex Hondo

          Then allow me to show you the current thread over at SP!

      2. timemonkey

        It could only have been better if the last panel had been her farting.

        1. Yotomoe

          And then slips on a banana peel.

        2. Aizat

          Or stepped on a rake.

        3. Izzy

          Jeph, where are you?! You need to make this comic better!

    2. captainswift

      Not at all. It was a groaner, but it was a magnificent groaner, and worthy of our admiration.

      1. Erika Hammerschmidt

        Indeed. It’s sad that she’s feeling guilty about how bad the pun was. (Or pretending to.)

        Or was it a multiple joke, including a reference to the “you look guilty” accusation?

  7. Yotomoe

    Joyce is becoming gay. One second with Dorothy and she’s already thinking about J’cuzzis.

  8. Uniqueantique

    OMG. Joyce made a joke.

    1. Chronos

      That is one of the signs of the upcoming apocalypse. That or a sign that Joyce’s beginning to loosen up a bit. Whichever.

  9. Sporky

    That may be the cutest joke I’ve heard.

    I don’t even know about funny necessarily, just really cute.

  10. LOOK OUT!

    I dont get it.

    1. LOOK OUT!

      Now I get it!

      (if other people are dumb like me, the key is the plaintiff being considered the accused, or accusee)

      1. sun tzu

        Actually, it’s even more specific. “J’accuse” (literally “I accuse” in French) is a super-famous historical quote that gets thrown around, ever since Emile Zola used it as a title for his open letter. (Specifically, an open letter where he called all the guilty parties of the Dreyfuss Affair on their crap.)

        1. AgentKeen

          Also, it’s fun to say.

        2. Narf

          J’ACCUSE!

          (you’re totally right!)

  11. Aizat

    I think Dorothy just walked into that one.

  12. MarcinMN

    And there’s that eyebrow thing Danny was talking about…

  13. Static Air

    I didn’t know Joyce knew French.

  14. Lu86

    …Yeah sorry, I have no idea what’s going on.

    1. Icalasari

      Accuse

      Jacuzzi

    2. |Agent

      You know Phoenix Wright’s “OBJECTION!”? Well, the French have “J’ACCUSE!” which “I accuse YOU!”

      And the plaintiff is the one accusing the defendant, so, Bob’s yer uncle.

      1. Lu86

        Ok. Yeah I get it now, ty. I guess explaining a joke IS like dissecting a frog.

  15. Dierna

    Oh Joyce. You so punny. 😛

  16. Ryune

    A++++++ joke, will steal again.

  17. Barf Ninjason

    I hope this doesn’t make Joyce late for her dentist appointment at TOOTH HURTY.

  18. JA

    Seems Claire’s bad puns from QC have also infected DoA.

  19. Henry

    Joyce, that was terrible, and you should feel terrible.

  20. Notebooked

    What do you call a dessert on a cracker? Pudding on the Ritz.
    In attempting to think up an example of generic dumb wordplay, I came up with that, Googled it, and found it’s been on the Simpsons. I feel that proves something.

    1. Rex Hondo

      What do you call a midget psychic on the run from the law?

      A small medium at large!

      1. eerilychildish

        Midget is not the preferred nomenclature. “Little person”, please.

        1. Me

          Yep, correct gravatar.

  21. Buckybone

    ITT: A lot of people who need a trip to the boobox.

  22. Alexis

    Looks like Dorothy got pun-ted out of *that* conversation.

  23. JBO

    What I am wondering: Is Joyce feeling guitly because she understands she is doing something that is wrong, or does she just feel guilty because she knows she does something that DORTOTHY would consider wrong? Unfortunately I think the latter is the right answer.

  24. Anon

    So I was reading the comments under today’s update for Gunnerkrigg Court when a particular one jumped out at me:

    “YEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSS. Tom Siddell, the Anti-Willis, making you feel all good, all the time, except sometimes not, but definitely right now.”

    Tom Siddell is the creator of Gunnerkrigg, but I found the comment funny because it’s obviously from a Walkyverse fan that gets heartbroken every time Willis pulls one of his unpredictable twists (i.e. all the time)

  25. AgentKeen

    -Phoenix Wright pose- Objection!!

    Also, I like how Dorothy is intently reading Joyce’s word bubbles to try and figure out what’s going on.

  26. Steve

    I am totally stealing that joke. Oh and Ethan and Joyce aren’t doing anything wrong at all. I think they’re going to help each other a lot getting to where they need to be emotionally…

    1. Heavensrun

      If they were just pretending to be a couple until Ethan feels comfortable with his identity and his social position, that would be fine, but that’s not the case. She’s trying to help him become straight, and he’s trying to be straight. And that’s not good for either of them, because it keeps her from pursuing a more fulfilling, mutual relationship, and it keeps him from learning to accept who he is.

      1. Wazza

        realising that will help him…

        it should also be noted that relationships can occasionally transcend attraction, too, if you form a close enough attachment. My partner’s a lesbian and we make it work.

  27. Em

    I wonder if she’s going to tell Dorothy, or if she’s just going to be shitting her pants whenever she hangs out with her. If she DOES tell Dorothy…well…hopefully she breaks up with Ethan, and then somebody tells Ethan to figure out if there’s a GSA or something at the school where he can feel awesome about himself and meet some cute boys.

  28. Em

    Steve: Personally, I think it’s best to find a relationship where all feelings are mutual. Ethan might enjoy having Joyce as his beard, and Joyce will for sure enjoy being it. But Ethan will never truly reciprocate Joyce’s feelings. And that’s where a lot of the problems will spawn from.

    1. Steve

      The way I see it helping is through their mutual dissatisfaction and them being honest and good enough friends to talk it out. I’ve had questions about Joyce’s sexuality since her reaction to meeting Sal personally and that HS friend does look like a pro golfer…

  29. Andrea

    I wonder when Ethan’s going to realize that, if he’s willing to date a Christian, this significantly expands his pool of datable men? (IIRC, this whole thing spawned largely after Ethan decided it would be too hard to find a guy who’s gay AND Jewish AND nerdy, because those are all such slim-seeming populations.)

    1. Heavensrun

      If he’s willing to date a muslim or atheist that extends it even further. But the notion that Ethan’s situational difficulties are almost entirely within his own head is not a new one.

  30. Kevin

    DoA continues to demonstrate the highest pun density per comic discussion ever observed by science, leading experts to grudgingly admit that “black holes aren’t actually all that dense after all” by comparison.

    Analysts propose the DoA Discussion Pun-Density Equation may explain the unstoppable pull Willis exerts on comic fans, although a minority in the scientific community maintains this is caused by density of Billie’s curvaceous thighs.

  31. DarkoNeko

    Wow, an Emile Zola pun 😮

    I

    Am

    Impressed she even heard of him. I mean, he’s french 😮 Our guy are never known in USA (” ) (except napoleon mayhaps)

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