So, I can say that most BKs don’t carry the Ham&Cheese anymore, the rodeo burger is actually on the regular menu, and quite a few cashiers will be confused if you order “frings”. This website is partly out-dated. (Oh, Veggie Whoppers aren’t a thing either. There aren’t veggie patties that large).
She can order it that way. But she shouldn’t count on actually getting it that way. Unless she is preemptively a jerk about it.
Freemage
Eh, leaving stuff off is usually not a big deal for most servers and kitchens–in part, because these days, they tend to assume you’re asking because of allergies (and yes, I know someone who is allergic to most gravies, because the coloring includes sulfur). Substitutions or extras are more likely to get overlooked.
Needfuldoer
Preemptive jerkiness sounds like a good way to get it with saliva…
I order substitutions a good bit of the time and get them. I like to think it’s because I’m *NOT* an asshole to the server unless s/he goes out of his/her way to give me a reason. But, yes, I know people who are seemingly proud of their ability to treat like crap anyone they perceive to be in a subservient position.
the gravy in KFC’s Potato and Gravy is like hot yummy wallpaper paste.
Doctor_Who
Just so long as it’s not the sausage gravy from McDonalds. I worked there for four years, and it’s the most disgusting substance in the place.
We don’t replace it all morning long, just add more cans when it starts getting low, so what’s on the bottom of the vat has been fossilizing all morning long. It’s only even barely a liquid when heated, at room temperature it’s as thick as peanut butter, and made from pure fat.
And the smell gets truly awful throughout the morning, and when you (I! I always had to do it!) go to clean the vat after breakfast, it’s become foul smelling cement.
Never eat that stuff. I’d sooner drink the grease trap.
That Damn Rat
You’re implying there’s a functional difference between the contents of the grease trap and a McDonald’s breakfast.
Needfuldoer
Egg McMuffins are pretty good, but they’re easy to clone. (Use a can with both ends removed to form the eggs, butter and toast the split parts of the english muffin on the fry pan, use Canadian bacon or sliced ham, and wrap each sandwich immediately after cooking.)
N0083rP00F
If you want to make your own consistently you can try and find those oh-so-rare one egg steamer pans. Quick, easy and no messy cans to deal with.
For winter camps we made these by the dozen, with real cheese and thick cut bacon deep fried to crumbly crispness. We then wrapped them in a double layer of foil and froze them solid. In the morning drop one beside the fire with the occasional turn, while making hot chocolate or coffee. Easy breakfast with minimal cleanup.
Well, what *I* want to know is how some people are apparently unfamiliar with just how picky a picky eater really is. Joyce and 16-year-old me would’ve bonded on a spiritual level.
Tunaro
I once dissected and boiled a boot simply because I learned leather was theoretically edible.
The concept of being a picky eater is a strange and alien notion to me.
TheGrammarLegionary
I’m horrified, but also genuinely curious as to how that went.
Tunaro
I had to get my stomach pumped because of the chemicals, but my point stands damn it.
As far as taste went? Like really bland, yet surprisingly supple beef jerky. Chewy as all fuck, though.
Disloyal Subject
Oh. What kind of boot was it? I know there are still some with relatively little treatment, but anything dyed is probably best to steer clear of. Rawhide or uncured leather makes an adequate substitute for chewing gum, though.
Tunaro
It was brown, it went up past the ankles, and I tried to eat it. It was at least a decade ago, so I can’t really tell you more than that.
Ana Chronistic
You didn’t even have alchemical powers to render the boot into something tastier, huh
… That last sentence was badly phrased… I do not doubt Tunaro’s story, I mean even if it weren’t true, it would still be the best line ever.
Falling Star
That is surprisingly badass.
Emily
I am weirdly impressed by this and I could not tell you why.
fogel
And this wasn’t because you lost a bet?
Disloyal Subject
I’m pretty picky, or I was, but leather is on the acceptable list. It’s basically skin jerky anyway, but without the gross crunch & squish of pork rinds.
Michelle J. Caboose
I once ate the wrapper from a Taco Bell burrito (after eating the burrito)
To be fair, it tasted better than the burrito. Probably more nutritious, too.
I only met one really picky eater (who didn’t have a specific condition or was, like, five) in my whole life. In my family, meals weren’t multiple-choice and if you didn’t like what was on offer, well, hope the next meal in six to twelve hours is better for you.
Liliet
yep, true picky eating is when you’d rather go without food at all than try to stuff this not-food into your mouth
we usually have bread and eggs though. i have eaten a great lot of toast and boiled eggs over the years
Heck, 30-year-old me is finding Joyce awfully familiar in this regard. Most of the time I just refuse to eat around people because I’m sick of the comments about it.
ischemgeek
For a good decade or so of my life, the list of foods I would eat was: Bread, peanut butter sandwiches, Campbell’s brand cream of mushroom soup, milk, water, beef, lettuce, peas, mushrooms, chocolate, cheetos, and sweet potatoes.
Beef had to be ground or rare. Milk had to be skim. Mushrooms had to be raw. Peas had to not be pureed, and sweet potatoes could be slatered in butter but also not pureed. Cakes, cookies, etc, were all a no.
I’ve gotten a lot less picky since I outgrew a lot of the sensory shit I dealt with as a kid and don’t have people constantly trying to force-feed me shit I hate (celery, frex, or Kraft dinner – both of which are truly gagworthy for me). For me a lot of it was less an aversion to new foods themselves and more an aversion to the pressure to try new stuff because in my household growing up, “trying” something meant “I get 3/4 of a plateful and am expected to finish it and will get guilted and bellowed at if I don’t like it.”
Amusingly, because I’m so willing to try new things now (I often come home from grocery shopping with some bizarre-looking thing and my long-suffering partner goes, “What’s this?” and I’m like, “Oh, that? It’s [weird plant], I found it at the store and thought I’d give it a try.” “Have you ever had it before?” “Nope!” “Oh. Do you know how to cook it?” “Ummm… no. But I’ll figure it out!”), a lot of people flat-out refuse to believe I was that picky for so many years, but I really was. Having the freedom to say, “No, I don’t like this, I won’t finish it.” and have it stick really made a monumental difference for me on the “being able to try new stuff” front.
Liliet
I’ve managed to get mostly-freedom food-wise by my early teens (after a lot of force-feeding battles in my childhood). We’ve settled on me PUTTING STUFF ON MY OWN PLATE BY MYSELF and only being expected to finish WHAT I MYSELF TOOK. Before, there was many a battle to the tone of “DON’T WASTE FOOD DON’T LEAVE ANYTHING ON YOUR PLATE” “WHY THE FUCK DID YOU PUT SO MUCH FOOD ON MY PLATE HAVE YOU MET ME BEFORE”.
Amusingly, fatphobia and being a chubby teen helped out a lot with making my family ease off my eating habits. “I’m on a diet” is a surprisingly perfect way to explain your refusal to eat something without going into “WHY ARE YOU CALLING THIS DISGUSTING SLUDGE FOOD” territory…
Cory
I know someone who only eats cheese pizza and cheese and onion crisps. Seriously, she makes me doubt the hell out of every nutritional lesson I was ever taught. She isn’t running marathons or anything, but basically seems to have no side effects and dozens of children (well, three but were three under three at one point and surprisingly fast for objects so chubby)
Roborat
My niece was a picky eater, the food couldn’t be touching on her plate, and no sauces or condiments of any kind. I innocently pointed out that it all gets mixed up in your stomach anyway. Apparently that was a bad thing to tell her.
Bloomington has tons of Asian restaurants. On fourth street there is 2 Indian, 2 Thai, 2 Korean, a Tibetan, a Burmese, and a Turkish restaurant. Joyce could slowly make her way down the street to force herself to expand her pallet, but maybe that is too extremely. She could just food from the Qdoba and call it a day
Carriethedragon
And walk all the way over there when there are waffles and tacos in Read Hall? Nahhhhh.
Needfuldoer
She needs to start slower than that. First, eat something off the adult menu (other than breadsticks) at Olive Garden. Then move on to the interchangeable “generic American” restaraunts (TGI Friday’s, Ruby Tuesday, Applebees, The 99, etc). Then maybe she’ll be ready for Qdoba.
Is there something about being a fundie that makes you more likely to be a picky germaphobe? It is a trend I am noticing in my life and would seem to be backed by Joyce’s autobiographical nature.
Dana
Recent studies have found a correlation between openness to experience and being more liberal, so maybe?
Larkle
Actually…now that you mention it… the people I know who are very Christian, are also really picky eaters. Huh…
I care not for gravy either. It is, as Luzahn said earlier, weird meat juice. And I still kept my turkey slices dry during family tnxsgiving dinner.
Disloyal Subject
It’s meat juice with added bits, but as additives go, salt, flour, and milk are a recipe for success. The best gravy I’ve ever had, though, was a thin, runny turkey gravy with waaay more salt than the cook intended.
I dip my turkey in cranberry sauce. Gravy is weird and nasty, and turkey needs something to give it some flavor.
Ana Chronistic
my mom’s gravy chicken SCREAMS AT HOW WRONG YOU ARE
wait n/m that’s just it sizzling
Tan
Ketchup on turkey ain’t bad. Don’t drown it or anything, but just a light drizzle to keep it from being totally dry.
Just bear in mind that this is an EXTREMELY polarizing action. Some people don’t care, but others will be so horrified at this you may as well have whipped your genitalia out at the table and proceeded to rub said genitalia on the turkey.
Just try to read the room ahead of time.
Needfuldoer
To be fair, that would probably ruin the turkey less than some gravy I’ve had.
I find the same is true with apples and ketchup. It’s a unique taste and worth trying, but some people lose their minds if you do it in front of them. I’m not saying drown your apples in ketchup, but the next time you have apple slices and some ketchup on your plate or extra packets, give it a try.
ganymedeanoutlaw
I’d try it, but that would require me to put ketchup on something, and I like to avoid that when possible.
523 thoughts on “Christi”
Ana Chronistic
just order friggin’ grilled cheese and a soft serve, IT’S OKAY TO GO OFF-MENU
(unless you go to like Soup Nazi)
Vagabond J
There’s also the secret menu.
Always order from the secret menu.
jy3
For those unfamiliar…
WaytoomanyUIDs
Jamie Crowe
So, I can say that most BKs don’t carry the Ham&Cheese anymore, the rodeo burger is actually on the regular menu, and quite a few cashiers will be confused if you order “frings”. This website is partly out-dated. (Oh, Veggie Whoppers aren’t a thing either. There aren’t veggie patties that large).
Dean
Can’t she just order it without gravy?
Wheelpath
Because, only heathens would do that, and she’s trying to get in good with her parents, not be worse off!
DudeMyDadOwnsADealership
Or gravy’s much too spicy for her to handle.
Slartibeast Button, BIA
She can order it that way. But she shouldn’t count on actually getting it that way. Unless she is preemptively a jerk about it.
Freemage
Eh, leaving stuff off is usually not a big deal for most servers and kitchens–in part, because these days, they tend to assume you’re asking because of allergies (and yes, I know someone who is allergic to most gravies, because the coloring includes sulfur). Substitutions or extras are more likely to get overlooked.
Needfuldoer
Preemptive jerkiness sounds like a good way to get it with saliva…
Slartibeast Button, BIA
Which is why I don’t do it.
DSL
I order substitutions a good bit of the time and get them. I like to think it’s because I’m *NOT* an asshole to the server unless s/he goes out of his/her way to give me a reason. But, yes, I know people who are seemingly proud of their ability to treat like crap anyone they perceive to be in a subservient position.
Tunaro
The fuck’s wrong with gravy?
Dara
Seriously! Poutine is impossible without gravy!
Doctor_Who
And Canada is impossible without Poutine!
And Ruth is impossible without Canada!
Joyce’s anti-Ruthism has gone on long enough!
Dara
Go Leafs!
Opus the Poet
I think you meant this. http://www.dumbingofage.com/2015/comic/book-5/03-the-butterflies-fly-away/mapleleafs/
Dara
na na, if I was going to pick that arc I’d’ve gone straight here:
http://www.dumbingofage.com/2015/comic/book-5/03-the-butterflies-fly-away/sure/
Luzahn
You mean besides being weird meat juice?
Plasma Mongoose
the gravy in KFC’s Potato and Gravy is like hot yummy wallpaper paste.
Doctor_Who
Just so long as it’s not the sausage gravy from McDonalds. I worked there for four years, and it’s the most disgusting substance in the place.
We don’t replace it all morning long, just add more cans when it starts getting low, so what’s on the bottom of the vat has been fossilizing all morning long. It’s only even barely a liquid when heated, at room temperature it’s as thick as peanut butter, and made from pure fat.
And the smell gets truly awful throughout the morning, and when you (I! I always had to do it!) go to clean the vat after breakfast, it’s become foul smelling cement.
Never eat that stuff. I’d sooner drink the grease trap.
That Damn Rat
You’re implying there’s a functional difference between the contents of the grease trap and a McDonald’s breakfast.
Needfuldoer
Egg McMuffins are pretty good, but they’re easy to clone. (Use a can with both ends removed to form the eggs, butter and toast the split parts of the english muffin on the fry pan, use Canadian bacon or sliced ham, and wrap each sandwich immediately after cooking.)
N0083rP00F
If you want to make your own consistently you can try and find those oh-so-rare one egg steamer pans. Quick, easy and no messy cans to deal with.
For winter camps we made these by the dozen, with real cheese and thick cut bacon deep fried to crumbly crispness. We then wrapped them in a double layer of foil and froze them solid. In the morning drop one beside the fire with the occasional turn, while making hot chocolate or coffee. Easy breakfast with minimal cleanup.
JetstreamGW
Or you can just buy something stupid like this
http://www.amazon.com/Norpro-Nonstick-Round-Pancake-Rings/dp/B0000VLWV0/ref=sr_1_7?ie=UTF8&qid=1459467023&sr=8-7&keywords=egg+round
There’s something for errybody!
Willoughby Chase
“vat” seems the most appropriate word in that context.
Roborat
We used to use KFC gravy for pothole repairs.
Ana Chronistic
or, like, weird meat juice WITH FLOUR
jy3
(looks at grav)
What next, claiming that sarcasm isn’t actually funny? My worldview is turned upside down!
Durandal_1707
What I want to know is who the heck could possibly not like Indian food? It’s, like, the best!
Doctor_Who
At least she gave sushi a try, so maybe there’s hope.
Damn, now I want sushi, but I just had it three days ago.
John
She didn’t eat it so much as stuff it down her throat with as little mouth-contact as possible.
Honestly, I can’t blame her.
Dana
Which is a strategy she may need to employ now if she’s going to live up to her oath just now.
Carriethedragon
Well, what *I* want to know is how some people are apparently unfamiliar with just how picky a picky eater really is. Joyce and 16-year-old me would’ve bonded on a spiritual level.
Tunaro
I once dissected and boiled a boot simply because I learned leather was theoretically edible.
The concept of being a picky eater is a strange and alien notion to me.
TheGrammarLegionary
I’m horrified, but also genuinely curious as to how that went.
Tunaro
I had to get my stomach pumped because of the chemicals, but my point stands damn it.
As far as taste went? Like really bland, yet surprisingly supple beef jerky. Chewy as all fuck, though.
Disloyal Subject
Oh. What kind of boot was it? I know there are still some with relatively little treatment, but anything dyed is probably best to steer clear of. Rawhide or uncured leather makes an adequate substitute for chewing gum, though.
Tunaro
It was brown, it went up past the ankles, and I tried to eat it. It was at least a decade ago, so I can’t really tell you more than that.
Ana Chronistic
You didn’t even have alchemical powers to render the boot into something tastier, huh
Kamino Neko
‘It was brown, it went up past the ankles, and I tried to eat it.’
This is officially the best line ever. Even without being true.
Kamino Neko
… That last sentence was badly phrased… I do not doubt Tunaro’s story, I mean even if it weren’t true, it would still be the best line ever.
Falling Star
That is surprisingly badass.
Emily
I am weirdly impressed by this and I could not tell you why.
fogel
And this wasn’t because you lost a bet?
Disloyal Subject
I’m pretty picky, or I was, but leather is on the acceptable list. It’s basically skin jerky anyway, but without the gross crunch & squish of pork rinds.
Michelle J. Caboose
I once ate the wrapper from a Taco Bell burrito (after eating the burrito)
To be fair, it tasted better than the burrito. Probably more nutritious, too.
gwalla
And filmed the event for posterity: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lvMCsMazcHQ
Briny
I only met one really picky eater (who didn’t have a specific condition or was, like, five) in my whole life. In my family, meals weren’t multiple-choice and if you didn’t like what was on offer, well, hope the next meal in six to twelve hours is better for you.
Liliet
yep, true picky eating is when you’d rather go without food at all than try to stuff this not-food into your mouth
we usually have bread and eggs though. i have eaten a great lot of toast and boiled eggs over the years
Betsumei
Heck, 30-year-old me is finding Joyce awfully familiar in this regard. Most of the time I just refuse to eat around people because I’m sick of the comments about it.
ischemgeek
For a good decade or so of my life, the list of foods I would eat was: Bread, peanut butter sandwiches, Campbell’s brand cream of mushroom soup, milk, water, beef, lettuce, peas, mushrooms, chocolate, cheetos, and sweet potatoes.
Beef had to be ground or rare. Milk had to be skim. Mushrooms had to be raw. Peas had to not be pureed, and sweet potatoes could be slatered in butter but also not pureed. Cakes, cookies, etc, were all a no.
I’ve gotten a lot less picky since I outgrew a lot of the sensory shit I dealt with as a kid and don’t have people constantly trying to force-feed me shit I hate (celery, frex, or Kraft dinner – both of which are truly gagworthy for me). For me a lot of it was less an aversion to new foods themselves and more an aversion to the pressure to try new stuff because in my household growing up, “trying” something meant “I get 3/4 of a plateful and am expected to finish it and will get guilted and bellowed at if I don’t like it.”
Amusingly, because I’m so willing to try new things now (I often come home from grocery shopping with some bizarre-looking thing and my long-suffering partner goes, “What’s this?” and I’m like, “Oh, that? It’s [weird plant], I found it at the store and thought I’d give it a try.” “Have you ever had it before?” “Nope!” “Oh. Do you know how to cook it?” “Ummm… no. But I’ll figure it out!”), a lot of people flat-out refuse to believe I was that picky for so many years, but I really was. Having the freedom to say, “No, I don’t like this, I won’t finish it.” and have it stick really made a monumental difference for me on the “being able to try new stuff” front.
Liliet
I’ve managed to get mostly-freedom food-wise by my early teens (after a lot of force-feeding battles in my childhood). We’ve settled on me PUTTING STUFF ON MY OWN PLATE BY MYSELF and only being expected to finish WHAT I MYSELF TOOK. Before, there was many a battle to the tone of “DON’T WASTE FOOD DON’T LEAVE ANYTHING ON YOUR PLATE” “WHY THE FUCK DID YOU PUT SO MUCH FOOD ON MY PLATE HAVE YOU MET ME BEFORE”.
Amusingly, fatphobia and being a chubby teen helped out a lot with making my family ease off my eating habits. “I’m on a diet” is a surprisingly perfect way to explain your refusal to eat something without going into “WHY ARE YOU CALLING THIS DISGUSTING SLUDGE FOOD” territory…
Cory
I know someone who only eats cheese pizza and cheese and onion crisps. Seriously, she makes me doubt the hell out of every nutritional lesson I was ever taught. She isn’t running marathons or anything, but basically seems to have no side effects and dozens of children (well, three but were three under three at one point and surprisingly fast for objects so chubby)
Roborat
My niece was a picky eater, the food couldn’t be touching on her plate, and no sauces or condiments of any kind. I innocently pointed out that it all gets mixed up in your stomach anyway. Apparently that was a bad thing to tell her.
John
I’ve heard that so many times, and it’s such a senseless thing to say. You can’t taste it after it’s in your stomach.
P_chemist
Bloomington has tons of Asian restaurants. On fourth street there is 2 Indian, 2 Thai, 2 Korean, a Tibetan, a Burmese, and a Turkish restaurant. Joyce could slowly make her way down the street to force herself to expand her pallet, but maybe that is too extremely. She could just food from the Qdoba and call it a day
Carriethedragon
And walk all the way over there when there are waffles and tacos in Read Hall? Nahhhhh.
Needfuldoer
She needs to start slower than that. First, eat something off the adult menu (other than breadsticks) at Olive Garden. Then move on to the interchangeable “generic American” restaraunts (TGI Friday’s, Ruby Tuesday, Applebees, The 99, etc). Then maybe she’ll be ready for Qdoba.
John
99 has chicken fingers on the adult menu!
PlainMarie
I know, I know. I’m so jealous!
SmilingNid
Is there something about being a fundie that makes you more likely to be a picky germaphobe? It is a trend I am noticing in my life and would seem to be backed by Joyce’s autobiographical nature.
Dana
Recent studies have found a correlation between openness to experience and being more liberal, so maybe?
Larkle
Actually…now that you mention it… the people I know who are very Christian, are also really picky eaters. Huh…
Kernanator
Everything. Everything is wrong with gravy.
JessWitt
I care not for gravy either. It is, as Luzahn said earlier, weird meat juice. And I still kept my turkey slices dry during family tnxsgiving dinner.
Disloyal Subject
It’s meat juice with added bits, but as additives go, salt, flour, and milk are a recipe for success. The best gravy I’ve ever had, though, was a thin, runny turkey gravy with waaay more salt than the cook intended.
John
I dip my turkey in cranberry sauce. Gravy is weird and nasty, and turkey needs something to give it some flavor.
Ana Chronistic
my mom’s gravy chicken SCREAMS AT HOW WRONG YOU ARE
wait n/m that’s just it sizzling
Tan
Ketchup on turkey ain’t bad. Don’t drown it or anything, but just a light drizzle to keep it from being totally dry.
Just bear in mind that this is an EXTREMELY polarizing action. Some people don’t care, but others will be so horrified at this you may as well have whipped your genitalia out at the table and proceeded to rub said genitalia on the turkey.
Just try to read the room ahead of time.
Needfuldoer
To be fair, that would probably ruin the turkey less than some gravy I’ve had.
qman
I find the same is true with apples and ketchup. It’s a unique taste and worth trying, but some people lose their minds if you do it in front of them. I’m not saying drown your apples in ketchup, but the next time you have apple slices and some ketchup on your plate or extra packets, give it a try.
ganymedeanoutlaw
I’d try it, but that would require me to put ketchup on something, and I like to avoid that when possible.