141

Trust
Posted on April 3, 2012 by David M Willis

141 thoughts on “Trust”

  1. Sensedog

    Smooth man, smooth…

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      Smooth as 2 hour old bourbon.

      1. fellixe

        Smooth as a drive down a Missouri highway

        1. deepblueink

          WINNER! (says the Missouri native)

        2. N0083rP00F

          Smooth smooth Michigan
          Along interstate 69
          The driving is fine

        3. The Heir of Rage

          Seconded! (also a native missourian)

        4. Tylertlat

          Which is considerably smoother than any road in Michigan.

        5. OhHayMike

          Truth.

        6. Narf

          Hah! I get it! 😀

          Although srsly, you should come to Nova Scotia if you wanna see shitty roads. You wouldn’t believe your eyes!

        7. CrazyPete

          Dude in India we barely have any roads that dont have potholes

        8. JustcallmeSoul

          i concur, our roads are aweful.

    2. Maycroft

      Smooth like a sledgehammer.

  2. Jen Aside

    Maybe you’re transparent as glass, Danno!

    1. The Sound Defense

      Transparent as glass, think as concrete. Miracle Danny, used by NASA in their spaceships.

      1. The Sound Defense

        THICK. God damnit.

    2. Jackson

      Speaking of glass, Danno is chuggin’ that root beer.

  3. CaptainTempest

    He just can’t take a hint.

  4. Wonder Wig

    Danny can’t talk with food in his mouth but he can talk while drinking. Dude’s got skill.

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      Maybe he is a budding ventriloquist.

      1. Wonder Wig

        A budding ventriloquist on the cusp of ventriloquist manhood.

        1. Plasma Mongoose

          Will his voive break if he throws it too hard?

        2. Yotomoe

          Chicks dig ventriloquists.

        3. N0083rP00F

          And we bring our own shovels.
          Just like the in the Scout Motto – Be Prepared

        4. karishi

          Yes, our teeth and ambitions are bared!

        5. OhHayMike

          BE PREPAAAAAAAAARED!!!

        6. Random Guy

          Still better than mimes.

    2. Leorale

      I interpreted as talk and then sip. But ventriloquism works, too!

    3. Wack'd

      “Don’t dub with your mouth full, kid.”

  5. Jetstream

    He IS a dumbass, apparently. Shut your hole while you’re ahead, boy!

    1. Blob Marley

      > Shut your hole while you’re only behind by ten, boy!

  6. TemplarKnight

    “I’ve decided to trust you after I-I mean Amazi-Girl, informed me that you had in fact, had done nothing.”
    “So you trust me only because you have confirmation that I did nothing”
    “That’s a kind of trust.”

    1. madd

      That’s my kind of trust.

      1. StClair

        “Trust, but verify.”

  7. Mkvenner

    Yes, yes he is.

  8. Historyman68

    Any sentence with both “obfuscating” and “dumbass” in it is a sentence I like.

    1. MeHael

      (test sentence) You are an obfuscating dumbass.

      1. Random Guy

        (test sentence) You are a Mime Sympathizer.

        1. Usayasha

          Both sentences pass with flying colors.

  9. Chuck

    Clearly this is all an attempt by Willis to juxtapose the chemistry of Danny and Amber with that of Walky and Dorothy

    1. Blob Marley

      That, or he’s demonstrating that maybe Dotty didn’t dump Danno *just* because he has no plans for the future… >.>

      1. Shippy McShipper

        She didn’t dump him for having no plans. She dumped him because his plan was “go wherever she goes”.

        1. Historyman68

          She dumped Jim because he was Danny.

  10. fellixe

    HAPPY BIRTHDAY YOU WILLIS!!!

  11. gambit320

    I don’t have a Tumblr. I hope you don’t mind me answering this here:

    The second issue goes into how the prisoners were being forced to take a drug. It highly changed the users personality. I think it was a new strain of Venom and Scarecrow’s fear toxin mixed together? I forget. I read the entire first arc but I don’t like reliving it. Two-face was on it at the time. It’s actually an interesting plot but it’s written pretty badly overall. So the One-Face thing was explained. DRUGS.

    1. Historyman68

      ???

  12. Tristan J

    Goddammit, Danny, you’re making it hard to ship the both of you.

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      This ship is stuck in dry-dock.

      1. Rex Hondo

        A dab of KY would help that.

        1. Plasma Mongoose

          A dab? You need a fuel tanker full of that stuff to get any effect.

        2. Jim

          the bigger the tanker, the stickier the KY gets.

          Use what we pro’s use. Alboline!

        3. Plasma Mongoose

          Um what kind of pro are you Jim?

        4. Jetstream

          http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DALqAb5q_5I

          ~\o
          Just a gigolo
          everywhere he goes
          people know the part
          he’s playing

          Paid for every dance
          selling each romance
          every night some heart
          betraying

          There will come a day
          youth will pass away
          then what will they say
          about him

          When the end comes he knows
          they’ll say just a gigolo
          as life goes on
          without him

          ‘Cause he aint got nobody
          nobody nobody cares for me
          he’s so sad and lonely
          sad and lonely sad and lonely
          Won’t some sweet mama
          come and take a chance with me
          cause he aint so bad

          o/~

        5. Jetstream

          Goddamn you lack of edit feature.

        6. Roborat

          Alboline? never heard of it, a big fan of Astroglide however, nothing like a NASA developed sex lubricant.

        7. JoeShep

          The fact that Richard of LFG is saying this has both scared me and roused my curiosity…

  13. Jimmy

    Geez and I thought I was bad with women. Still, at least he has a girl talking to him that’s possibly interested in him as more than a friend!

  14. ParkRNDL

    “…hot and horny biracial cheerleader…”

    nice. that’s gonna stay with me. in a good way.

    1. Thor

      It’s a little bit racist, but in a positive way? Sorta?

      Whatever it is, it certainly doesn’t make me like Danny more, that’s for sure.

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        Biracial is pretty vague as races go.

        1. Jim

          Better than BiSpecies, like Santorum. Oh wait… he’s only one. Chimp. Since evolution is impossible in his blood line!

      2. Wack'd

        Everyone’s a little bit racist, okay?

        And besides, perhaps he’s got a fetish for biracial chicks, and he’s bringing it up because that’s one more reason why he might’ve done stuff with her.

        I personally think it’d be hilarious if he brought up the glasses.

        1. Julia A

          Besides, it’s not like he’s going around commiting hate criiiiimes.

        2. Historyman68

          Not haaaaaaaaaaate crimes?

      3. das-g

        Biracist, even.

  15. Shirashima

    Just cuz it is your birthday doesn’t mean that you can make Danny eat his foot. Sheesh Willis

  16. John

    What does Amber see in this guy?

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      A better-looking than average nerd maybe?

    2. Jetstream

      Perhaps there’s some appeal in the notion of a man who seems psychologically incapable of lying?

      1. Kernanator

        Hm, that would be kind of appealing, I guess.

        1. Plasma Mongoose

          She won’t like it so much if she ever asks that dreaded question: “Does this make my ass look big?”

        2. Wack'd

          Well, if she’s dating him for that reason, knowing he can’t lie, it’d be pretty low of her to get pissed off over that.

        3. madd

          My husband is one of those bluntly honest people. You learn not to ask questions you don’t want honest answers to.

          Also, anyone who asks “Does this make my ass look big?”, deserves whatever answer they get.

        4. Roborat

          The proper answer is: No, it’s not (insert item of clothing) that makes your ass look big.

        5. Pain in the

          Exactly! “Nah! The kettle corn does THAT, Honey! How’s the dress gonna make your ass look big? It’s all roughage!”

      2. Dragon Nataku

        Sure, if you find mythical creatures appealing

        ^<__<^

    3. Wack'd

      Presumably organs, muscles, a skeletal structure…

      Anyone else just here a drum kit fall off a cliff?

    4. PhysicsLB

      a Y Chromosome?

  17. Aegon01

    She really doesn’t trust him tho. She only trusted him once she verified the truth.

    1. Yotomoe

      well as the law says, you’re innocent only until someone breaks into your house and finds the evidence to prove you as such.

    2. CP

      She didn’t really have a reason to trust before that. Yeah, it was crazy weird and creepy to go and break into Billie’s dorm just to satisfy her curiosity, but she was completely justified in her suspicions. Now, on the other hand, she DOES have a reason to trust him, and it will be pretty disappointing when the inevitable paranoia sets in and she damages the relationship because she continues to need independent confirmation for any of her suspicions.

      1. Blob Marley

        This is true, but neglects the important fact that he really didn’t owe her anything, at this point. The closest they had come to commitment was smiling awkwardly at one another right before his ex popped in.

        1. Aegon01

          ^this. Exactly how was her trust violated in the first place?

          I’m actually pretty annoyed at Amber. Like this is such a magnanimous gesture on her part? And I’m annoyed at Danny for thinking he needs her “forgiveness” in this respect. GGGRRR.

        2. Raiser

          He flirted with her. (And openly admitted it.)
          The next time she sees him, he appears to be sleeping around (and lying about it).
          Thus, the trust violation.
          The amorous affectations of a potential suitor carry far less gravitas when said suitor casts their attentions willy-nilly. Her mistrust is quite valid.

        3. Blob Marley

          But not everyone believes in courting only one person at a time. Without an explicit statement of exclusivity, Danny has no clue whether his flirting is going to lead anywhere. He’s well within his rights to play the field a little bit on week 2 of his Freshman year. Now, if they’d gone on a nice date or two and THEN he had popped out of his room, shirtless, on the heels of a sexy half-asian girl, Amber might have had cause to be upset. But until they make it official, it’s really none of Amber’s business what goes on inside that dorm room.

        4. SalmonLeap

          Couldn’t agree more with Blob Marley and Aegon01. There was no commitment, no justification for mistrust. (Flirting is not commitment and it’s not betrayal to flirt with multiple people when no one is doing anyone yet)

          Also, I might be in the minority with this one, but personally I think even if he’d slept with Billie it shouldn’t be some horrible black mark against him forever. No one had committed to anyone, and if nothing else happened between Billy and Danny afterwards, then there’s no emotional commitment at all and it’s over.

          Sorry for not articulating this well, but this particular strip sort of bugged me.

        5. begbert2

          To many people, flirting is commitment to the precise degree that it has any effectiveness at all on the flirtation front. Raising somebody’s expectations on false pretenses is kind of a dick move, and making them feel like you’re interested in them personally and then giving them the impression that nope, you were just a Joe looking for something to Joe can make people feel bad if they’re not thinking along those lines to start with. And all this applies even if you haven’t exchanged rings.

          Very unfair, I know.

    3. Pain in the

      Actually, she probably does trust him now. She has good reason to! And he’s just giving her more reason by caring about her point of view more than his own… Which is foolish, because most girls don’t go for guys they can trust.

  18. DoomDarts

    Just noticed Amber’s shirt. Awesome.

    1. Alan / Falcon

      I need that shirt for my birthday, along with a coupon I can spend to make my wife wear it. Because it would be for her to wear and me to look at.

  19. Jim

    Billie is biracial? Doesn’t say that in her bio… that I recall.

    1. CP

      She’s half british and half chinese. It was in Thursday, somewhere, iirc.

      1. begbert2

        “It was in Thursday, somewhere”? Isn’t that like saying, “I found this great take-out place. It’s in Alabama”? 🙂

        In one morning conversation in the bathroom with Joyce (I personally don’t recall which morning; sometime north of the Mason-Dixon line, I think it was) Billie thought that Joyce was quite dim for not recognizing that she was biracial – Joyce just thought she was tanned. Presumably Billie wouldn’t be impressed by Jim either.

    2. David

      Sneaking ethnicities into all the bio prose seems like it’d be pretty awkward… Best to focus on personality, yes?

      1. David

        Though maybe I’ll sneak in penis and bust size. Y’know, the important things.

        1. David

          (the answer to either stat for everybody is 44″)

        2. Blob Marley

          I like where this is going…

        3. Bickendan

          44″ long?! Holy shit!

          Oh. OH.

          Well, that’s embarrassing!

        4. Kai Gon

          No. He clearly meant the diameter. 😀

        5. Just for kix

          You know what, now I see the answer “42” in a completely different light.

        6. Lieutenant Dan

          Also the importance of a towel.

        7. Blob Marley

          I laughed too loud. Now everyone on the first floor of the language building thinks I’m some kind of crazy man.

        8. Historyman68

          “maybe I’ll sneak in penis” — David Willis

  20. NCP19

    In Danny’s defense, best to get everything out in the open than awkwardly double check it later. Right? Hopefully?

    1. madd

      It works for me.

  21. aba

    Kenan and Kel “Obfuscaaatiing?”

  22. Yotomoe

    remind me to never ask Danny to defend me if I’m ever trying to prove my innocence.

  23. Splash*Boogie

    DANNY. Shut up and roll with it!

  24. iggzy

    Did he just read Billie’s character sheet?

  25. Blob Marley

    Somebody watches porn. Brazzers couldn’t have written that description any better.

    1. Bekah

      I don’t get guys who like Brazzers.

      I’m also ashamed that I know what Brazzers is.

      1. Aegon01

        Who the heck actually pays for porn, anyway?

        1. Plasma Mongoose

          N00bs do.

        2. Zababcd

          Porn industry workers checking out the competition?
          The insanely wealthy?
          Infinitely many monkeys sitting at keyboards attached to computers connected to the internet and in possession of valid credit cards (next on their to-do list after the complete works of Shapespeare)?

      2. Blob Marley

        There’s no shame in watching porn. And also, anyone who browses Reddit learns what Brazzers is pretty quickly (like, the first time you see somebody slap their logo on a compromising-looking screencap from the Lion King). I’m actually not a fan of them myself, but to each his own, I guess.

        1. Bekah

          No. You misunderstand. I have nothing against porn. It’s Brazzers I’ve the problem with. Every dude I know says fake boobies are for yuckies. But all the Brazzers porn I’ve seen (I make it sound like I’ve seen so much) is all these fugly fake tittied wannabe actresses taking a shot in the bum to put themselves through film school or whatever.

          Seriously, I don’t get the appeal.

  26. Kernanator

    That’s right Danny, seduce her with your lack of common sense.

    1. Blob Marley

      She plays World of Warcraft. She’s used to committing to people who have no common sense. It’s called a guild.

      Also Blizzard.

  27. Arkadi

    Biracial?? I’m sure that word doesn’t even exist.

    1. Kernanator

      Nnnnoooo, I think it does.

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        It’s like bifocal but with races.

        1. Wack'd

          For some reason I read that as bifocal but with braces. Sounds painful.

        2. Arkadi

          You mean… like running two races at the same time?

    2. David

      This is one of those times you’d think a quick Googling would be prudent before posting.

      1. J.J.Rocker

        ^^^
        This

      2. Raiser

        Someone needs to make an addon for browsers that runs a quick cross-check of a word against Dictionary.com if you highlight it, returning “Yep, it’s a word” or plays the Inigo Montoya quote depending on the result.

        (The quote which follows “He didn’t fall? Inconcievable!”:)
        “You keep using that word… I do not think it means what you think it means.”

        1. Zababcd

          Dictionary.com is not the most reliable resource. For example, I have yet to see the word ‘quadrangularness’ used, ever. And it doesn’t appear on the internet except in other similarly sketchy dictionary sources or word collections. As far as I could tell within the first seven pages of Google results, anyway. I am not inclined to go through the 7890 results individually to make sure.

        2. begbert2

          Please – quadrangular is obviously a word, so by standard suffix rules you get quadrangularness for free.

          Floccinaucinihilipilification, on the other hand, is a tad more suspicious.

        3. Jackson

          What begbert2 said.

          This isn’t ‘Nam. This is grammar. There are rules.

        4. Blob Marley

          Most people have never seen “squamous” or “vigintillions” either, but they’re totes legit.

        5. Pain in the

          I dunno. Don’t you want to be able to quantify the quadrangularness of a parallellogram? Or show off your rhobussitudinal attributes? (Though circular attributes are more interesting…)

  28. Zababcd

    More food headed into Danny’s mouth. He can talk fine while drinking, but I wonder what will happen in the next strip. Not in a curious way. More like an “I’m bored so I’m going to write a comment” way.

    1. Lieutenant Dan

      I misread that as “More foot headed into Danny’s mouth.” How oddly appropriate.

  29. Pat

    Wait, he was only half undressed?

    1. Shippy McShipper

      He had his socks on.

    2. begbert2

      Only his front half was naked. His back was fully clothed.

    3. Historyman68

      And half dressed. Funny how that works.

  30. johannhowitzer

    Danny’s final comment here makes perfect sense to me. Amber has shown unreasonable trust (from his perspective – he doesn’t know she listened to the tape). He is, naturally, performing a sanity check on her. Amber’s retort has decreased my respect for her a few notches…

  31. AJBulldis

    It’s kind of sad that she does not, in fact, trust him. Relationships are sad.

  32. Opus the Poet

    If someone has Dave Herbert’s e-mail addy could you contact him for me that “Living with Insanity” has been blacklisted by my malware blocker. The only thing I see when I try to read the site is a red banner telling me his site has malware and white. No other files loaded, even when I tell Firefox that I want to see the page anyway (that used to allow blocked pages to load before)

  33. Fauxlosopher

    Obfuscate. TRIPLE WORD SCORE.

    I love that word.

  34. Potatamoto

    Their strange, inconclusive food is making me hungry for some reason.

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