Moral center
Posted on July 27, 2016 by David M Willis

523 thoughts on “Moral center”

  1. Ana Chronistic

    It’s YOUR FAULT, Willis! You made Mary into flesh and bone!

    …or, well, pixels on a screen

    1. Edhead

      Wait, your not using papyrus?

      1. Wheelpath

        No, get with the times, it’s all about toasters

        1. Cholma

          flying toasters! (but only After Dark) ;p

        2. GuruBuckaroo

          Oh thank god I’m not the only old person here.

        3. Cholma

          Just call me Crazy Uncle Cho!

        4. Jimi

          I’m not old but I still know exactly what he’s talking about. Does that make me a nerd?

        5. jeffepp

          No, but reading this comic does. Welcome to the club. Whipersnapper.

        6. Orion Fury

          Now get of my lawn.

        7. Needfuldoer

          Only if you know all the lyrics to The Flying Toaster Anthem.

        8. TheAnonymousGuy

          one of us! one of us!

        9. Packy

          You’re FAR from the only old person here!

          I just don’t usually think of myself as old around here because I wasn’t reading back in the Roomies! days; I didn’t join the party until It’s Walky!

        10. Ana Chronistic

          Utah teapot

        11. quarktime

          Still not good enough until you can write the code to render it in POVRay.

        12. fogel

          Flying toasters AND Old People’s Music:

          https://wimpmusic.com/album/7924893

        13. Fred

          Actually it’s part of the xscreensaver collection, too. (Although of course it’s based on the After Dark original.)

        14. Ed Rhodes

          They make bread fun!

    2. Reltzik

      TBF, there were already a few million flesh and bone Maries out there. What’s one more?

    3. DudeMyDadOwnsADealership

      At least she’s still in love with the *idea* of purity/virtue/morality/whatever while being too busy condemning everyone else in the real world to become anything more than a tiny ball of spite with an inferiority complex.

  2. Edhead

    Spat my drink out at Moral center.

    1. Edhead

      NO WALKY! DON’T INCRIMINATE YOURSELF!
      AT LEAST NOT IN PUBLIC

    2. Darkoneko

      Almost drenched my screen, too.

    3. Ana Chronistic

      her MORAL CENTER is where the stick up her ass is

      1. Chief_of_Staves

        It pokes so far vertically that you can see it whenever she opens her mouth. She calls it ‘Jesus’ because every time it becomes visible, we all say “Jesus, Mary, what the hell and halitosis is wrong with you?!”

    4. deathpigeon

      “Moral Center”

      1. Chaucer59

        Moral Center. How may I direct your prayer?

        1. deathpigeon

          Oh, sorry. I was trying to reach Hell. (I hear the going rate for a human soul is pretty good and I need the money.)

    5. Reltzik

      Me too.

      …. despite having drunk it over an hour ago.

      ….. okay, not really, but that DID make me feel sick to my stomach.

    6. David

      Well, she is the moral center like the drain is a water center. The closer you are getting to her, the more the morals are revolting.

      1. Sam

        Sit next to Mary for too long and she’ll drain away all your morals until you can’t tell right from wrong.

    7. Packy

      Mary is the chewy moral center.

    8. Amake

      She’s the moral center like Walky is the compassionate center, or like Ken Ham is the center of scientific learning.

  3. Darkoneko

    For those that missed that awesome Carla : I CAME IN LIKE A POKÉBALL I just wanted to catch ’em all

    1. Fridge_Logik

      That is so beautiful.

    2. Falling Star

      OOPS

    3. Deanatay

      I came in like a wrecking ball
      I never hit your FAAAAAAAACE so hard
      All I wanted was to save your Ruth
      All I ever did was WRECK EVERYTHING

      1. a snow mous e

        (partially inspired by Deanatay’s version)

        Don’t you ever say Walky walked away
        when Billie ran to Ruth
        Running for the life of her future wife(?)
        she will always love Ruth

        I came in like a wrecking ball
        I never gave ’em such tough love
        All I wanted was to save your Ruth
        I guess you’ll have to face the truth
        Yeah, they’ll know the truth

        Don’t you ever say “Carla ran away”
        I will help you save Ruth
        I’ll dispel your lies to help save her life
        I will help you save Ruth

        I never meant to get her fired
        I just wanted you to give a shit
        I guess instead of screaming “GO TO RUTH”
        I should have told you not to make a scene
        You’d see the truth right through the door
        If I had used the key and let you in
        I guess you’ll have to face the truth

    4. Willoughby Chase

      Thankyou, made my day.

  4. Some1

    And now for the 11th DOA Tournament battle!

    Announcer: Sal Walkerton vs. Ethan Siegal.

    Danny: C’mon Ethan.

    Ethan: Look Sal, it’s really important you don’t reach someone, so if you don’t mind…could you just surrender?

    Sal: Not gonna happen.

    Ethan: Of course!

    Sal: Raging Flames!

    Ethan: Windblades!

    Ethan manages to block the pillar of fire that shoots from Sal’s cigarette. He slashes at the air with the Windblades and disperses the flames. Sal runs through the smoke and attacks him.

    They exchange slashes and blows within the smoke, both trying hard to see each other.

    Sal: You’ve gotten stronger.

    Sal throws a kick at Ethan’s torso.

    Ethan: No…only my conviction.

    Ethan blocks it with his left arm

    Sal: I can see that.

    Right hook.

    Ethan: What do you see Sal?

    Catches her hand. Uppercut.

    Sal leaps backs.

    Sal: I can see it in your eyes; I could see it in Danny’s eyes as he fought my brother. Your motives are deeper than anyone else’s. I didn’t understand your motives at first, and I still don’t fully know…but I trust you.

    You win.

    At this point a mysterious figure steps into the crowd. A long black cloak hangs from him, with this face shrouded.

    Man: No. I will not allow my plans to be hindered like this.

    The man produces an energy ball and tosses it at Ethan, blasting him into the crowd.

    Man: Sal, you will fight Amber and you will kill her.

    Sal: Why would I ever do that?

    Man: Because otherwise…she’ll kill you.

    Amber steps onto the stage and prepares to fight, her eyes are glassed over.

    Dorothy: Is this some sort of mind control!?

    Danny turns to face the man

    Danny: Who the hell are you?

    Man: You really don’t remember me…from that night?

    Danny: It can’t be!

    Man: Welcome to your destruction, friend of Amber!

    Joyce stands by Danny.

    Joyce: Who is this!?

    Danny: Blaine.

    Next time: Everything changes.

    1. Lan

      I am concerned for your well-being but now I can’t look away? What the hell did you do to me with this weird battle-verse thing?

      1. a snow mous e

        I haven’t been following, but… suddenly I’m intrigued?
        I hope Amber defeats AmaziGirl next, personally. Like, I’m not sure that is something that could physically happen, unless I guess Sal literally knocks some sense into her? But I feel like Sal will try to be a pacifist here, especially because she’s starting to realize what’s going on.

        But she’s not stupid enough to take that hope to the death, so at some point she may need to reevaluate how long she can hold out without getting killed.

        Sal is probably going to be the hero in the next one, anyway. Can’t say for sure what that entails yet.

      2. zoomer296

        I’m not sure if I should be proud or ashamed that I know that your avatar is a cross between doctor doom and Stevonnie, and was made by Harsh Boogie/discount supervillain.

    2. Umbrella Paint

      Someone make this an AU like right the hell now

    3. Falling Star

      I can’t…even…what?

    4. a snow mous e

      By the way, I know how to link to comments, so here’s that list from yesterday but more specific

      PART 1

      http://www.dumbingofage.com/2016/comic/book-6/04-it-all-returns/sweet/#comment-1120360

      http://www.dumbingofage.com/2016/comic/book-6/04-it-all-returns/dog/#comment-1120736

      http://www.dumbingofage.com/2016/comic/book-6/04-it-all-returns/murdery/#comment-1120958

      http://www.dumbingofage.com/2016/comic/book-6/04-it-all-returns/chief/#comment-1121193

      http://www.dumbingofage.com/2016/comic/book-6/04-it-all-returns/amazinglove/#comment-1121478

      http://www.dumbingofage.com/2016/comic/book-6/04-it-all-returns/brucewayne/#comment-1131754

      http://www.dumbingofage.com/2016/comic/book-6/04-it-all-returns/ragdoll/#comment-1132125

      http://www.dumbingofage.com/2016/comic/book-6/04-it-all-returns/diddlin-2/#comment-1133269

      PART 2

      http://www.dumbingofage.com/2016/comic/book-6/04-it-all-returns/failed/#comment-1133585

      http://www.dumbingofage.com/2016/comic/book-6/04-it-all-returns/moralcenter/#comment-1133823

      1. Mordecai

        Thank you!! It would be great if this list was in the original posts

    5. Mordecai

      thanks for taking the time to write these!

  5. miados

    trying to hard to not let her blackmail go when someone might be dying? so christian of her…….. witch

    1. No Name

      I think you mean “wongo”

      1. miados

        well i would have said bongo but nintendo used it for donkey kong.

      2. Slartibeast Button, BIA

        Mary is not one of the Wild Women Of Wongo

    2. Teddae

      hey, that’s an insult to witches

      1. miados

        yeah but i think she would find it a worse insult than bongo.

        1. Orion Fury

          I find it a worse insult than ‘bongo’.

        2. Deanatay

          Anyone notice that ‘bongo’ has kinda lost its force as an insult, around here? Replacing the insult with a goofy word really seems to defuse it.

          Well played, Willis.

        3. miados

          im tempted to say “that some of a bongo” here but as i dont know willis i dont know his joke taking level and wouldn’t want to be banned from posting.

        4. a snow mous e

          I’m sure he would understand

        5. a snow mous e

          SON OF A B*NGO

          b-star-n-g-o, b-star-n-g-o, b-asterisk-n-g-o and bongo was his name-o

        6. a snow mous e

          You could always just add an extra i: biongo
          …well shit, now I’ve forgotten what the original b word is

        7. a snow mous e

          or BOINGO shit how did I miss that

        8. Kryss LaBryn

          Oingo Boingo. Danny Elfman’s Eighties band. Who were awesome.

          Also now I am picturing someone rolling Mary into a ball and bouncing her up and down. Because onomatopoeia. And also because she is a bongo. Or possibly a conga, which is basically a giant bongo, lol.

  6. quietpeas

    Holy fucking shit Mary.

    1. Kris

      As the moral center of the wing she’s not wrong. She can’t be.

      1. Reltzik

        This is what evil looks like when it gets desperate. …. and preachy. …. and judgey.

        1. Cerberus

          Mary is flailing so much, she’s a medieval weapon.

        2. rectilinearpropagation

          Hah! ?

        3. Orion Fury

          I lol’d.

        4. Darkoneko

          It’s saving on AC costs.

        5. Falling Star

          *slow clap*
          *builds into a standing ovation*

        6. Pat

          No no, look, there’s no contradiction here. As the moral center, she can decide whether reporting this to the authorities is correct. Walky is not the moral center, and lacked that capability. Therefore, he clearly should have reported it to the authority, herself.

          His failure to tell her something that she already knew is clearly the actual cause of… okay, it kinda falls apart at that point.

        7. quarktime

          She’s flailing so much, you could use her to harvest rice.

  7. Kris

    Mary’s the awful voice in everyone’s head.

    1. Lan

      Mary’s the voice that tells me to enjoy sci-fi? But that seems unnaturally unlike her.

      1. Doctor_Who

        Just about the only thing that could make Mary worse would be if she was a Scientologist instead of a Christian.

        1. inqntrol

          Good heavens that would be a living nightmare!

        2. deadlinedance

          No, no, that would be better.

          Then she wouldn’t be misrepresenting a decent religion.

        3. quarktime

          I know Seventh Day Adventists who are nicer people than Mary.

          I said “nice”. Not “less judgey”.

      2. Kryss LaBryn

        Nooo, Mary’s the voice telling you to enjoy Syfy. D:

    2. Reltzik

      …. wait, that voice telling me that I should walk down to the convenience store and binge on junk food because I know I’m going to do it eventually anyway so I might as well avoid the agony of fighting it is Mary?

      …..

      CURSE THAT BONGO.

    3. detective boomwolf

      Mary is the voice in my head that reminds me of every embarrassing thing i’ve ever done?

      1. Anorak

        I thought that was mike?

        1. quarktime

          Mike did that voice in your mom’s head.

        2. Kryss LaBryn

          For a nickel.

    4. Sam

      Tell her to stop suggesting stabbing myself in the eye with a fork spontaneously. It is rather unnecessary and I’ve said no multiple times.

    5. Leorale

      I think it would be a good exercise, for those of us with jerkbrains who tell us stupid self-defeating stuff, to imagine instead that Mary is saying it. Easier to dismiss it that way.

      1. Andy

        This is pretty much what I do.

      2. Falling Star

        Also easier to kill it off.

    6. Riku

      I just want to let you know that the awful voice in my head is very offended by that statement.

  8. Dandi_Andi

    Wow! That projection would make an IMAX jealous.

    1. Reltzik

      For the full experience, immerse yourself in a larger culture of Maries for surround sound.

      And since she’s gotten to the point where she’s BENEATH a female dog (hey, dogs are nice), I think we can say she’s the subwoofer.

      1. Uncertainty Moth

        Joyce and Becky just tried that. It’s not very fun.

        1. Falling Star

          All of this is perfect.

      2. Orion Fury

        I approve of the pun. I must remember that.

    2. rectilinearpropagation

      HAH! ?

      Oh man, the thread is gonna be good!

    3. quarktime

      It’s 4K, with Dolby sound.

  9. Flynn58

    I hate Mary. Who let her happen to the world?

    1. Doctor_Who

      The legends speak of one known as Willis the Damned, he of the Many Robots and Lord of Porn.

      1. Orion Fury

        Form Changing Robots.

    2. Anorak

      Have mary’s parents shown up in the willisverse?

      1. Arianod

        Twist: Mary’s parents are a couple of nice, mellow liberal atheists who spend much of their time wondering what the heck they did wrong.

        1. Sammael

          That would, sadly, make sense.
          There is no fanatic like a convert.

        2. quarktime

          That reminds me of when my sister converted to Catholicism.

        3. Anorak

          What if dorothy and mary are related?

  10. Foxhack

    Jeez, Mary REALLY doesn’t want to lose the leverage she has on Billie and Ruth, does she?

    1. Cerberus

      She still believes that she can salvage her power. And that’s all she really cares about doing about the situation. She was in the perfect position before. A depressed blackmail victim who believed their livelihood depended on keeping Mary’s blackmail secret and Carla who is known very well for being anti-authoritarian and not one to tell anyone in authority anything.

      And it’s a type of system that usually works. The marginalized keep quiet and suffer the abuse lightly. She really couldn’t have believed that Carla would go completely sideways on her and so now she’s just trying to bully her way into protecting herself and keeping what little power she’s got left.

      1. Orion Fury

        It may even go beyond that, considering it’ll probably come out that she was blackmailing them, or at least Ruth. That’s really not good for her.

        1. Cerberus

          I tried to make a list of all her various little awfulnesses and it got way too long. Mary’s been riding on privilege and targeting those without social power to get this far, but I think this may be as you note, the moment it all crashes in on her.

        2. Deanatay

          You know the list has gotten too long when it’s actually easier to bind the darn thing and make a book out of it.

        3. Z

          I’m honestly infuriated that the school has no program to check in on the RAs. How long has this depressive cycle been going on? A few days at least. No one has checked in with Ruth to see how things are going on her hall?

          The RAs are supposed to be there in no small part to prevent this. To keep an eye on their hall and make sure no one ends up in this kind of state. Why isn’t there any oversight over the RAs?

          I don’t know if Mary can get in trouble for the blackmail or not. At this point it’s kind of more “drama”. It’s crappy to not report someone in that state, but none of them are qualified therapists and not everyone can recognize it. Look how long it took Carla to realize how serious things are.

        4. quarktime

          My college would have shrugged and said “You got us out of the bar for THIS? Seriously? Leave them alone, they’re not hurting anybody!”

          The only time they cared was when a male professor was living with a male student. All they would have done to Ruth would have been to move her and Billie to the so-called “Lesbian Dorm”, where they wouldn’t have stood out if they painted themselves green and jumped up and down naked in the quad.

        5. Jhon

          A quick image search for ‘green jumping naked’ failed to turn up anything resembling your post. You may want to reconsider it.

  11. Vivvav

    EVERYONE KILL MARY

    1. Lan

      Traditional lynch mob style or in a more Bond villain way?

      1. Umbrella Paint

        Yes.

      2. Foxhack

        Kill her with kindness.

        LESBIAN KINDNESS.

      3. Bicycle Bill

        Is it too much to ask for a frickin’ tank of sharks with frickin’ laser beams attached to their frickin’ heads?

        1. StClair

          We already had the laser beams.
          They were awesome.

        2. thejeff

          Yeah, but a frickin’ tank of sharks with frickin’ laser beams attached to their frickin’ heads, that of course just spell out “CARLA” when they far, would be even more awesome.

          The tricky part would be teaching the sharks the necessary synchonized swimming.

        3. Falling Star

          Just get Aquaman to do it.

        4. SgtWadeyWilson

          I’m glad to hear that this plan is entirely based in logic.

        5. Kryss LaBryn

          Guys, five feet to my right is an aquarium. It is a 30 gallon tank. In it are five sharks. Okay, so they’re only little still; but so is the laser pointer I keep on top of the tank so I can have sharks with frikkin’ laser beams!

          So, uh, if anyone wants to ship Mary to Canada, I’m equipped.

      4. The Aussie Bloke

        Beat her to death with a potato peel

        1. Falling Star

          The Extremely Slow Murderous Commentors With Incredibly Inefficient Weapons.

      5. Amake

        That which can be destroyed by the truth, should.

        In this case, that which can be destroyed by the truth includes Mary.

      6. Gamaran Sepudomyn

        Since she likes tradition so much, how about filling her bones with molten lead? We’ll need lead, a bunsen burner, some kind of drill to get to the bone marrow and some way to inject the lead.

      7. Slartibeast Button, BIA

        Do Bond villains do the “die in the trap you set for the hero” bit?

        1. Bicycle Bill

          One or two of them have.

    2. Mollyscribbles

      *pounds fists on table* Defenestration! Defenestration!

      . . . I love the word and I rarely have context to use it okay

      1. Uncertainty Moth

        Same

      2. Reltzik

        Wait, tavern-fight style or Prague style?

        The main difference is that in Prague style she falls several stories. There’s a 50/50 chance that she dies, and if not she lands in a huge pile of horseshit and her survival is literally declared miraculous by the church. In tavern-fight style she flies back about five feet, drops about two, and suffers no worse than some scuffs and bruises despite all the broken glass. Unless we specify that it’s Wild West tavern-style defenestration, in which case there’s again a 50/50 chance of her landing in horseshit but no one thinks it’s miraculous.

        1. Uncertainty Moth

          Whatever it takes to get Mary landing in horseshit is fine by me.

        2. Leorale

          Mary would be this universe’s Biff Tannen.

        3. Bicycle Bill

          “Caveman” starring Ringo Starr = Shelley Long in dinosaur dung.

        4. DinaWho

          They’re an elevator-worthy number of floors up on the hall here, so I think it would be Prague-style by definition.

        5. Mollyscribbles

          Tavern-style. I mean, I don’t want Mary dead, but a manure truck carting fertilizer for the campus landscaper could provide a soft landing.

        6. Kryss LaBryn

          How about Sherlock-style?

          “He fell out of the window.”

          “How many times?”

          “I lost count.”

      3. Catapostrophe

        Did someone say “defenestration”?
        Just gonna leave this here…

    3. Deanatay

      Now, now, people. I, too, wish to see Mary suffer, but killing her is just WAY too quick. I propose we make her suffer in the worst way possible, for her – by ignoring her. We mentally remove her from every DoA comic, kinda Garfield Minus Garfield style. Dumbing Minus Mary?

      1. quarktime

        This meets with my approval.

  12. CanadianShinobi

    Not much of a commenter, but I just wanted to thank everyone who showed me some support from yesterday’s comic.

    1. Opus the Poet

      Ditto.

      1. Orion Fury

        Welcome, though I think I may have skipped past yours CS. I’ll go back.

      2. Cerberus

        *hugs*

        1. Cerberus

          To both of you.

  13. Rosicrucian

    Poor Mary might not be able to blackmail the RA all year.

    Hasn’t considered that blackmail isn’t all that Christian.

  14. Paul

    Was Mary POSSIBBLY being helpful?

    1. Rosicrucian

      Mary was covering her own ass.

      Either to hide the fact that she’s nearly driven the RA to suicide, or to prolong her ability to blackmail the RA.

      1. Some1

        Mary somehow manages to solve every problem in the comic, despite trying to ruin everything.

        Mary: You’re such an idiot Joyce, I bet you haven’t even considered looking for homeless housing online!

        Joyce: That’s actually a great idea. Thanks Mary!

        Mary: ….fuck!

    2. SpruceGoose

      Possibly but then again she’s a Christian character in a Dave Willis work so probably not

      1. Edhead

        Ah yes. Willis is internet Stephen King.

        1. Silly Name

          … What does that mean? ‘Cuz I have Salem’s Lot sitting on my desk right now, and I can tell you the Catholic priest in that book is a 100% good guy.

      2. Shiro

        Yeah, we’ve never seen Becky or Joyce or Billie or Sierra or Hank help anyone (and that’s just off the top of my head, there’s probably more I’m forgetting).

      3. Rosicrucian

        So we’re gonna do the thing, huh?

        Where you ignore all the good Christian characters just to whine about Mary’s portrayal being unfair?

        1. Cerberus

          Of course we’re doing the thing. This is phase 2. Once the character being defended reveals fully how monstrous their actions have been, we move into the stage where it’s all about how Willis hates Christians as if half the cast isn’t positive depictions of Christians. It’s as predictable as clockwork.

        2. Nightsbridge

          And this stage where people acknowledge that she’s awful and not hiding some hidden depths or being misunderstood only starts when she’s an asshole to a straight white guy too.

          Huh.

          You know if I was cynical I might say that means something. Good thing I’m a burdening river of optimism.

        3. Cerberus

          Walky’s not white. Straight, yes, but definitely not white.

          But yeah, it’s a pretty predictable cycle at this point. Marginalized victimized character gets victimized: Outpouring of hate for the character recycling standard set of 3 or so arguments. Defenses of character who victimized them. Victimizing charcter continues to pile on hurt: continued defenses of character, whitewashing of crimes, woobifying the victimizing character, plaintive wishes for the victimized character to go away for ever. Victimizing character does something so beyond the pale that even the perennial defenders can’t defend it: Whine about how Willis is creating cartoon villains that are completely unbelievable, argue that Willis just hates Christians, ignore characters that are Christian and not assholes.

          Like motherfucking clockwork. I really should start putting money on when these little bursts happen.

        4. Neeks

          Just don’t start a drinking game, we would all quickly die of alcohol poisoning.

        5. Silly Name

          A bingo game, maybe?

        6. ZORK

          I’ve just read Cerberus’ Clockwork Comment and thought “we could also make a drinking game out of this”, and then I saw your comment. XD

          This topic reminds me of the one time I stumbled across the Bad Webcomics Wiki article on DoA. Accusing Willis of doing nothing but bashing Christians was one of the major themes (read: the one complaint they repeated over and over and over…) of the article, alongside with the whole whining about how the comic glorifies LBGQT people because only straight people are evil.

          I didn’t read the whole thing, but from the bits I’ve read I couldn’t help but stop wondering how someone can “review” something and invest so much time into this article, yet at the same time being able to blindly ignore so many things going on in the comic that refute most of the critics, which makes them come off as poorly-researched.

          (To be fair, the article questioned why the comic about the attempted suicide of Becky’s mom got a trigger warning, while the strips about the attempted rape of Joyce did not, but then again, the latter was much older than the former, and Willis might have not thought about putting a trigger warning on these subjects back then.)

        7. Kryss LaBryn

          More of a bongo game. 😉

        8. Needfuldoer

          Don’t forget the part where he clearly doesn’t know what he’s talking about because he’s never met any “real” Christians.

        9. Cerberus

          Damn time-traveling Willis for going back and putting himself in a really repressive and hateful growing environment just so he could claim “personal experience” for his evil crusade against the good name of Christians. Also, for secretly adding positive Christian characters to the back comics just to make them look foolish for claiming he doesn’t have any “good” Christian characters.

      4. Shad

        What about Joyce and Becky? They may have had their faith rattled recently but neither of them show signs of wanting to leave the religion itself. Heck, Becky gave a scathing remark about why she feels she is still in God’s good graces

    3. Darkoneko

      I think she never intended to snitch to the autorities.

    4. HiEv

      I was just wondering that myself. You see, by her very own logic, if she knew what was going on and did nothing, then it’s her fault. And I think this is just beginning to dawn on her.

      The question is, will she realize how hypocritical and awful she’s been before it’s too late?

      1. thejeff

        It’s not hypocritical since she was doing it for the greater good. The need to purify the hall and bring the sinners to God transcends such mundane concerns as suicidal depression. Blaming Walky is just another tool in that mission.

        1. HiEv

          I know you’re not speaking for yourself, but I have to stay that having a reason why you did something hypocritical doesn’t make it any less hypocritical.

          And doing something hypocritical in the name of a Judeo/Christian religion just compounds the hypocrisy since the Bible specifically condemns hypocrisy. “Follow my words, not my deeds, which command you to follow my book, which I’m not following by doing this!” Yeesh.

  15. Stephen R. Bierce

    And even though you fool your soul
    Your conscience will be MINE–MINE!    –Adam Ant, “Stand And Deliver”

    1. Stephen R. Bierce

      And Scourge of the Scarf was one of the trippier episodes of the 1960s Spider-Man.
      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WxqL_UDE07k

    2. Ant Warrior

      OMG Adam Ant.
      <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

      Though, it's 'All Mine!' at the end, there. …..<3!!

  16. dailybrad

    Mary is absolute scum. She’s trying to preserve the status quo to keep leverage, despite being told Ruth’s life is potentially in jeopardy, and in contrast to her supposed moral authority, since she wants it to continue, meaning she’s an accessory to whatever supposed moral failings she claims to stand against. She is just awful.

    1. Umbrella Paint

      Yeah pretty much

    2. BloodLily16

      Yeah, right now, she’s just trying to maintain her hold over Ruth. If Ruth gets fired, then one of two things is going to happen to her. Either Ruth (or Billie, or Carla) will tell someone in charge about Mary’s blackmail and hate speech, or Ruth’ll be fired and replaced by someone Mary can’t blackmail, and who will likely have zero tolerance for her.

      Mary’s a sad, sad individual, and has been said before, the anti-Joyce. Joyce is more about God’s love and grace, and has rolled with the punches the world has thrown at her, changing and becoming a different (and may I say better) person because of it.

      Mary, meanwhile, seems to me to be the one used to throwing the punches. She’s a bully, and is unused to her victims fighting back. I don’t know much about her background or family, but I’d wager that she comes from an ‘echo room’ similar to Joyce, and is frantically trying to hold onto her moral superiority, slipping into a quicksand of moral lows as she struggles. And judging from Dorothy’s face in the last panel, Mary’s head’s about to go under.

  17. Showler

    Nice side eye from Grace.

    1. ZORK

      Said side eye is the reason why I’m so happy to have Grace as my avatar here right now.

  18. Cattleprod

    Why is she wearing a coat and scarf inside? Something something cold heart.

    1. Sam

      She’s going to catch a cold from the ice inside her soul.

    2. Dean

      Because she’s not wearing anything underneath them.

    3. Jason

      I think she’s cosplaying as a Wild West bank robber.

    4. Jason

      Either that or she’s secretly a flasher.

    5. DonDueed

      My reading is that those are her Sunday-go-to-meetin’ clothes, and she just got back from church. Which obviously left her feeling full of Christian love.

      1. Andy

        Or she was about to go out to evening Bible study, because a few comics ago we saw her coming out of her room.

        1. Jason

          But it’s not even 2 pm yet!

    6. Slartibeast Button, BIA

      Hide the marks from her vampire lover last night.

    7. Falling Star

      She secretly loves Doctor Who.

  19. Umbrella Paint

    Mary would never let anything in her aside from JESUS
    get your facts straight walky

    1. Chief_of_Staves

      Jesus is actually her nickname for the stick-shaped giant dildo famed so far up her ass that you can see glimpses of it whenever she opens her mouth.

      1. Reltzik

        She speaks with Jesus’s tongue.

        1. Falling Star

          Eeeewwwwwwwwwww.
          That is awesome.

  20. deathpigeon

    Mike tries to be an asshole, and does it very well. But Mary is way worse because she’s a self-righteous asshole. Mike never would have been able to pull off trying to present himself as a moral center to protect his blackmail while telling someone that what just happened was all their fault, and made it work. That’s something only Mary would be able to pull off.

    1. linkman0596

      oh god, you asshole, you made me want Mike and Mary to get together for a bit……imagine the horrific justice that could be wrought

      1. Reltzik

        …. upon whom?

        …. upon everyone, I think is the answer.

      2. deathpigeon

        I imagine they’d have lots of hate sex, which Mary would deny, but do anyway because she’s a hypocrite.

    2. DSL

      Heinlein set up a contrast between two characters — I’m pretty sure it was in “Farnham’s Freehold” — one of whom was an a$$hole who was “trying to be better than his nature” and the other who descended into a low-rent sort of passive evil simply through weakness of will. Heinlein make it clear through his expy/title character which he respected more, though his compare-and-contrast characters ended up being incidental to the plot. Willis may be going for something similar here, though Mike and Mary have much more vital roles in DoA than Heinlein gave his Fig. 1 and Fig. 2 characters.

      1. Slartibeast Button, BIA

        In FF, Hugh said Memtok the slave overseer was better because he restricted his sadism because it would interfere with doing his job right. He hated Ponse the slave owner because he was always being this jolly old friendly guy, and wasn’t he great for not doing any of the horrible things he could if he wanted to.

        Mike might fit, but Mary doesn’t, I’d say. Mary isn’t trying to make people like her.

        1. thejeff

          OTOH, Farnham’s Freehold is so damn creepy in so many ways that it’s really hard to even consider drawing anything serious from it.
          About the best that can be said is that it’s an attempt by a pre-civil rights, pre-women’s lib white male to address racism. That it does so by dredging up horrific racist tropes isn’t really surprising.

    3. Silly Name

      Mike *likes* being an asshole, he takes pride in it and wants everybody to know.

      1. Pat

        So does Mary. She just wants everybody to say she’s morally superior to them while she’s doing it.

        It’s actually not uncommon.

    4. Pat

      Work? I see no evidence it’s working. The only person who didn’t ignore her called her a jerkass.

      1. deathpigeon

        I mean it works as pure dickishness. It wouldn’t work in that way for Mike.

  21. Shiro

    …what the actual fuck, Mary.

    Here’s hoping tomorrow’s strip is her crumpling to the floor in anguish as her delusions of power collapse around her.

    1. inqntrol

      And maybe Carla will hit her with a pie, again.

      1. Uncertainty Moth

        Or drop her off in the Amazon!

      2. ZORK

        But Carla never hit Mary with a pie.

        Mary took the box containing Carla’s Pie Face play set away from Carla and thus got pie-faced.

        She hit herself with the pie.

        Though I wouldn’t object to Mary doing that again.

  22. Dr. T

    If you knew something and didn’t tell anyone, it is your fault? Isn’t blackmailing doing just that plus extortion? What is amazing is that there are supposed Christians with that very mindset.

    1. Goliath

      She’s covering her ass. When everything goes south, she wants everyone to blame Walky.

      1. Reltzik

        Actually I think she wants to blame and bully Walky right now to shut him down and prevent him from letting the big secret slip.

      2. DSL

        She wants everyone to blame not-Mary. At the moment, Walky is the most convenient version of that.

    2. Pat

      Walky didn’t know anything and Mary doesn’t have much reason to think he did. He’s saying “if” because he only just heard about it.
      She’s realizing that what she’s saying is true, but she’s shouting it at someone else. Attempting to divert blame, and I think she might end up giving away that she’s guilty.

      Now, she’s definitely contradicting herself between panels. “Nobody dare report anything! How dare you not report anything!?”

  23. Chief_of_Staves

    Me: Why’s the moral center so far to the right?
    Mary: Because you weren’t aiming properly! Gimme!

  24. Mr. Random

    I mean. He didn’t know. That’s the point.

    1. Reltzik

      And also, he’s identified the wrong suicide-pack lesbian as depressed.

      1. Reltzik

        *pact. Suicide pack sounds like a less-organized suicide squad.

        1. Needfuldoer

          Or really terrible DLC.

        2. Slartibeast Button, BIA

          A suicide pack sounds like something ambulances carry on the really dark version of Opposite Day.

        3. Cybersnark

          Less-organized Suicide Squad.

          So, CW’s Legends of Tomorrow?

      2. Neeks

        Well i mean… He wasn’t wrong about billie being depressed, she’s just a lot more functional and a lot less suicidal than Ruth at tthe moment.

  25. Kernanator

    Here’s my question about Mary: Is there any person that she actually likes? I don’t mean in the “I worship Ronald Reagan almost as much as I worship Jesus” sense, I mean in the “I hang out with this person on a semi-regular basis and enjoy their company” sense.

    1. LimeSheep

      not that weve seen, at least. she doesnt get along with any of the people she took to church with her that first time
      i think the closest thing she might have is roz (at least in terms of spending time together and having conversations regularly) and they hate each other.

      1. Marsh Maryrose

        Come to think of it, Roz is pretty judgmental, so they have that in common.

        But as a narcissist, Mary doesn’t have the need that most people have for “someone to hang out with.” She’s more of an “Oderint dum metuant” kind of gal. (“Let them hate, as long as they fear.”)

        1. thejeff

          I’d love to see more Roz/Mary interaction. Kind of a shame Roz has been out of this whole arc.

        2. DinaWho

          They had a few lines that seemed almost quippy and normal at the start of this chapter, which was nice.

    2. tim gueguen

      Probably some judgemental fellow member of whatever congregation she attends, not realising said judgemental nasty is just waiting for her to make a mistake so they can denounce their moral failings.

      1. tim gueguen

        That should have been “her moral failings.”

    3. Kamino Neko

      She doesn’t even seem to like herself.

    4. deadlinedance

      She has no friends.

      I almost pity her.

      Almost.

    5. Cerberus

      Nope. And I have a sneaking suspicion she blames the “moral failings of a secular university” rather than think for a second it has anything to do with her behavior.

      But even then, we haven’t even seen her interact with church folks for very long before finding something t judge them for.

    6. Romanticide

      not that we saw, she seemed to be okay with Joyce enough to tell her “not to asociate with certain people” which in her twisted logic is okay. But they are not close friends which is quite telling.

      1. thejeff

        Which immediately led Joyce to label her as a b-word.
        Not close friends is an understatement.

  26. Kindra

    Wow, I have the urge to use a much stronger word for Mary than the already-censored b word. One with four letters.

    She’s just abhorrent, and I don’t think there’s ANY way that all the people here will agree to just let her take charge.

    1. Reltzik

      That word’s also censored. It doesn’t get changed to “bongo”. Your post just vanishes.

      1. Orion Fury

        The entire post? Or does it go blank? I won’t check, cause doing do is frowned upon. Plus, that word as well. I’ll use the r-word before that.

        1. Solenoid

          Call a spade a spade. Mary is a zealot, a hypocrite, and a genuinely dangerous person. Frankly, any person good enough at conveying the force behind their words can turn any word into a swear.

        2. thejeff

          I’m sure she has some good qualities. Bless her heart.

        3. Silly Name

          I guess she’s healthy?

        4. Gamaran Sepudomyn

          She’s a poignant salamander-licker.

  27. miz

    Amidst all the Feels™ lately, I feel like I’ve sort of lost track of what Mary is trying to protect here. Like, is she seriously trying to convince everyone that Ruth and Billie don’t actually have a thing, just so she can be the one to tell people they have a thing LATER, when she would get something out of it? Good lord, Mary.

    1. miz

      And if that’s it, then what the heck is she trying to pull with Walky in the last panel? “Maybe this is all a misunderstanding! Maybe nothing is happening! And the thing that is maybe probably not happening is completely 100% your fault if it is, which it might not be!”

      Mary’s acting here isn’t gonna be winning any Oscars, is what I’m saying.

      1. Reltzik

        Mary is basically trying to shut Walky down with blame and bullying before he spills her blackmail material.

      2. Silly Name

        She’s panicking that her carefully-built blackmail is collapsing, denying her all the newfound power she had just got.

      3. Pat

        I think the bit about failing to report that Ruth was in danger making it that person’s fault is kind of a realization. Mixed with trying to pin that thing she did on whoever happens to be standing in the direction she’s yelling in.

        I mean, “If you knew something” he’s literally working it out right there. He clearly did not!

      4. DinaWho

        My impression is that she’s aware she’d be held responsible for the role her blackmailing played in the current situation so she’s trying to buy time to cover it up and find someone else to take the blame.

        Panel 2 is the first part: Mary tries to take control of the hall response so she can either prevent them calling a higher-up or delay it until she’s figured out a way to hide her involvement. Which brings us to the last 2 panels: Mary needs someone to point a finger at. She latches on to Walky’s concern about Billie and twists it. If she can blame him for not doing anything sooner, maybe no one will think to look beyond that for other factors. If she can guilt him into believing he deserves the blame, the better for her.

    2. Amyra

      I was trying to figure it out myself, but I think you got the nail on the head. What a horrible person.

      1. Amyra

        got -> hit

        Damn you, autocorrect!

    3. Tori

      Mary doesn’t actually want anyone to know that Billie and Ruth have a thing, because to be able to blackmail them with the thing, she needs to always have the *threat* that it could be revealed. The second it’s revealed, she loses all her power over them. Likewise, Mary doesn’t actually want Ruth to lose her position as RA, because for her control over Ruth to be worth anything, Ruth needs to be in a position of authority. It’s not about protecting anything; it’s about maintaining her leverage.

      1. miz

        Ah, that’s probably true about her wanting Ruth to keep the job. If she actually succeeded in getting Ruth fired, she’d have to start back at square one in finding dirt on whatever new schmuck took the position.

        Should’ve made more demands when you had the chance, Mary!

  28. tim gueguen

    From Grace’s expression I get the impression she thinks Mary is full of crap. “Moral center my ass!”

  29. Henry

    I just noticed that Mary’s eyes are colored. I assume it’s because she’s become a more fleshed out character, like what happened with Ruth.

    Only in Ruth’s case, we found out there was some tragic stuff and that she’s all kinds of messed up. With Mary, we just found out the depths of her asshattery.

    1. Umbrella Paint

      After checking the archives, her eyes have been brown since 2013

      1. Reltzik

        This is because she is full of chocolate.

        AND SHE ISN’T SHARING WITH ANYONE.

        1. Some1

          Meh can’t fault her for that one, I wouldn’t either.

        2. Dellaran

          Well, she’s full of something brown, at least.

        3. KHNO

          I’m lost… do you mean gravy, or a particular member of Joyce’s family?

        4. Falling Star

          The idea that Mary could be doing something with one of Joyce’s brothers is horrifying.

    2. Romanticide

      Eyes colored and beaded eyes doesn’t mean characters are developed or not, it just means the beaded ones are mostly created at an earlier time and remained that way.

  30. Tass

    I feel like everyone is forgetting, in thinking about Mary maintaining leverage on Ruth, that what she’s ACTUALLY trying to avoid is felony charges, because if everything does come to light she’s plainly guilty of extortion!

  31. Carolyn

    And now here’s the part where Carla storms up and loudly announces Mary’s blackmail scheme to the entire floor, right?

    …Right?!

    1. cmd1095

      I’m not sure if Carla is aware of that band-aid yet, but she’s smart enough to figure it out so maybe she’ll tear this one off too

      1. Lyssie

        She’s aware.

      2. No Name

        Carla was there when Mary blackmailed Ruth for the first time.
        She knows all right.

        1. Cerberus

          I think this is her putting the stake to Mary’s blackmail plan and just like with the pie, she’s leaving Mary to do the deed of fucking herself over.

          This and no less is the price for fucking with Carla.

  32. Kamino Neko

    Huh, so Billie did close the door.

    Also, is Mary really that delusional? Does she really and honestly think anyone on the floor likes/trusts her enough to let her be the gobetween?

    1. Palamdrone

      She thinks everyone else is so flawed and sinful their opinions don’t matter.

      1. Cerberus

        Yup, in her mind, she’s the most moral of the group, so obviously they should yield to her authority and allow her to take control of this important situation.

  33. TheAnonymousGuy

    Mary, walky’s a person, not a scapegoat. besides, your just as responsible as anyone else.

    1. Janet

      Not trying to sound like I’m coming to Mary’s defense or anything, but I’m really not buying her as an antagonist lately. She’s been a complete pain in the ass, to be sure, but as far as I can remember she really hasn’t done much besides taunting Carla (whose already gotten her sweet sweet vengeance) and unsuccessfully trying to blackmail Ruth into doing her job.

      Obviously she’s no saint, and I think she could easily make for a compelling antagonist, but right now the way characters in the comic and people in the thread react to her, I half expect her to sprout a Snidely Whiplash mustache and people to accuse her of kidnapping orphans or murdering kittens or something. That’s not compelling, that’s just silly.

      1. SpoopyFox

        there’s definitely a difference between “taunting” and being transphobic

      2. Eukie

        Mary never tried to get Ruth to do her job. Mary used her power over Ruth to get away with misgendering a trans student, to attempt to force a prayer on the students in the wing, and to make Ruth interfere in Carla’s plans.

      3. Orion Fury

        And the ‘Make Ruth do her job’ was more ‘Do whatever I want you to do’.

      4. trlkly

        Well, first off, you flat out ignored her evil action in this very comic. She just attacked Walky, blaming him for the whole problem. She deliberately tried to hurt him when he was upset, saying something we know she doesn’t even believe–as it would also apply to her. She tried to argue only she should “investigate” and report anything, which makes no sense except to try to salvage her blackmail.

        Second, the fact that blackmail (appears to have) failed or that someone got their “revenge” doesn’t change a thing about who Mary is. She’s still a conniving bigot. She still checks all four boxes of the Dark Tetrad: narcissism (thinks she’s better than everyone), Machiavellianism (makes plans to further her own goals without regard to who she hurts), sadism (enjoys the hurt she inflicts on others), and sociopathy (inability to connect with others in a normal manner.)

        That’s what real life evil looks like, which is a lot scarier than the comical villains you describe. Those don’t upset anyone. This shit does.

        And it’s not remotely new. Mary has been shown doing little evil things since she was first shown. Even Carol and John aren’t as bad as she is. ToeDad and AmberDad are worse only because of the gravity of what they did–we’ve never seen Mary go violent and she has no children to abuse.

        We have also literally never seen any redeeming characteristics about Mary. And yet she’s either a main or high supporting character. Even Mike has shown some good tendencies with his attempts to help Amber. Not Mary.

        So it’s not remotely odd that people act like she’s as bad as they do. If both the characters in the comic and the commenters were sure she was evil, but I wasn’t, I’d be checking my own assumptions.

        Only if Mary herself is shown to change will people’s view of her change.

        1. Cerberus

          This.

          Mary is the god of the microaggression.

          And when you’re marginalized, you encounter a lot of Marys. Oh, they won’t hit you, but they will make you feel like you want to die and they will always be there to hit you when you’re vulnerable.

        2. ischemgeek

          Mary is the banality of real-life evil.

          Mary is not a straw man or caricature. If you’ve never encountered a Mary before in your life, be grateful. Because Marys exist. I was a student of two of them and a classmate of three others.

          Marys are the bullies who are sneaky and conniving enough to be able to get away with it for years upon years, by always engineering situations such that they have plausible deniability and a way to foist blame onto someone else. Hell, Mary isn’t even that good at being a Mary: I’ve known Marys who were so fucking good at toying with the lives of others and getting others to dance to their tune that they could have damn near everyone in the hallway convinced that the victim was actually the aggressor (quite easy to do when the victim is an autistic kid prone to losing their words at a time of great emotional upset – get an argument started, get autistic kid to a point of being nonverbal, keep needling them so they rage and then wait until the adults come in and act the victim – by the time the autistic kid has their words back, you’ve already had a good 20 minutes to convince the grown-ups of your side of the story, by telling a story that’s true just not the complete truth). This Mary fucks up a lot more than some Marys I’ve dealt with.

        3. Cerberus

          Yup, this is a Mary who hasn’t gotten the handle on subtlety and gaslighting yet. If she finds a mentor figure who can train her on those, she’s going to be horrifying.

      5. 3-I

        “Do her job” Aaaaahahaha, you’re funny!

        And by funny, I mean a fucking bigot, because Ruth’s job is not and never has been to bow to Mary’s wishes and tolerate her transphobic hate speech!

        1. Janet

          You know nothing about who I am or what I’ve been through but because I bring up a point you disagree with you presume to label me a bigot and transphobe, WOW! Careful not to fall off that high horse of yours.

          Let me be clear – I’m in no way suggesting that Mary isn’t the antagonist here – I just think she’s not a very interesting or compelling one right now.

          Ruth (when she was still being ‘Ruthless’) was an antagonist and she was an interesting and compelling antagonist because she didn’t just pop up at random to do mean things – she was fleshed out. Everybody here seems to come up with these ridiculously elaborate backstories and motivations and character analysis for Mary’s actions that are all based on their own bad experiences with people who vaguely resemble Mary and not the character herself – because at this point Mary hasn’t been fleshed out or written as a developed and interesting antagonist. Instead she comes across as a flat, mustache-twirling, candy-stealing, kitty-kicking melodrama villain with a little organ sting that plays every time she shows up.

        2. Eukie

          If you want to avoid being labelled a bigot, it would surely help not to brush Mary’s transphobia-motivated blackmail targeting a bisexual woman in a woman-woman relationship under the carpet as “blackmail[ing] Ruth into doing her job” when it’s so obviously an act of terror and abuse.

        3. 3-I

          Seriously, this. I don’t get how I even NEED to know anything about Janet’s tragic backstory: she just said that getting Ruth to ignore transphobic abuse was appropriate.

          It is not.

        4. Pat

          You literally did say she’s not an antagonist.

          And the “point you disagree” about was bigotry.
          Seriously, bigots have been thinking that describing bigotry as “just disagreeing with you” was a good argument for a good while. It’s one of their stock phrases that doesn’t mean anything. Just look at any anti-gay hate group’s website, and you can probably find that phrase in a headline or seven.
          If you’re innocent, you chose a defense that doesn’t make any sense in the first place and sounds more like a confession.

          And you’ve gone from describing her as not doing anything bad to describing her as poorly written because she pop up at random to do bad. Those are a bit mutually exclusive.

        5. Cerberus

          Wait, what?

          Oof, completely skimmed over that part. Yeah, that “blackmail into doing her job” part is a bit yikes in context. And for exactly that reason. It’s not her “job” to overlook transphobic harassment and serve as one student’s tool for bullying other students with religion.

          So yeah, oof, bad phrasing there.

    2. Reltzik

      I’d say she’s considerably more responsible, actually.

      1. Cerberus

        Yeah, she actively made things worse. By blackmailing Ruth out of all her coping strategies, making her feel she had nothing left, and undermining her wherever possible with small threats.

        In another universe, Mary’s game would have ended with a body. In this universe, we can thank Carla’s quick thinking and Billie’s knowledge that Ruth would be in one of the worst states of her life trying to deal.

        And just like her real-world counterparts, she never once for a second thought of that possibility and if it had come to pass, she would have blamed everyone but herself just as she is doing now.

      2. Janet

        Mary’s horrible, but let’s not pretend for a second that she single-handedly turned Ruth into an clinically depressed, self-destructive, abusive alcoholic.

        Ruth’s demons and vices are, ultimately, her own. And she needs help.

        If you want to blame people for making things worse, there’s plenty of blame to go around. Mary’s blackmail didn’t help, but neither did Billie’s outright enabling of Ruth’s self-destructive behavior.

        1. Some Guy

          So, Mary did nothing to make a bad situation significantly worse? Please tell me that’s not what you’re arguing. Ruth was depressed but semi-functional until Mary came along.

        2. thejeff

          You’re right in a way. Ruth certainly had pre-existing problems. Mary’s blackmail made it worse though and unlike your original claim had nothing to do with making Ruth do her job. Ruth was in fact doing her job when Mary pulled out the blackmail to stop her.
          One way she made it worse was by forcing Ruth to give up her support system, which enabling though Billie was, helped keep her going. Billlie’s approach wasn’t good in the long run, but ripping away a severely depressed persons coping mechanisms without replacing them with better ones can be disastrous.

          Lots of people commented, while the relationship was active, about how toxic it was. For both Billie and Ruth.

          It is good to see we’ve progressed from “she really hasn’t done much besides taunting Carla and unsuccessfully trying to blackmail Ruth into doing her job” and “Obviously she’s no saint”, to “Mary’s horrible”.

        3. Fart Captor

          No one is blaming Mary for Ruth’s depression. There’s also a huge difference between Mary and Billie’s actions here. Billie definitely enabled some of Ruth’s self-destructive tendencies, but she was also staving off the actual self-destruction. Yeah, she did not take the safest course of action, but at least she was trying to help. She’ll probably blame herself if something happens to Ruth, but especially
          considering how she’s been dealing with depression issues of her own, she’s done admirably well in an difficult situation.

          Mary is actively twisting knives to serve her little power trip. That she did not do (most if) the stabbing herself really isn’t making a strong case.

        4. Cerberus

          Uhh… there’s a difference between enabling behaviors that are self-destructive but are the limited coping strategies a person has and outright trying to exacerbate those problems and make them worse.

          Like, Billie, did not do much to get Ruth off alcohol and even precipitated Ruth’s collapse back into alcoholism when she was almost free. That is indeed a long-term issue for Ruth’s overall recovery.

          However, Mary actively exploited coping strategies in order to gain a power advantage over Ruth, blackmail her over it, trigger her worst fears about her grandpa being right about her being a failure (damn does that “perfect girl” strip sting extra hard after Ruth’s bomb yesterday), and continue to pick and harass her as she tried to cope with the damages.

          Yes, Ruth’s demons are years in the making and owe more to “sir” Grandpa than anyone else, but Mary poured some liquid hot pitch on that demon’s playground and started passing out glowsticks.

          Her contribution to the short-term damage of Ruth’s suicidal ideation is direct and horrifying. And she could have easily killed someone and that would be largely on her personally.

          Minimizing that minimizes the true weight of what Mary did and how horrifying these bullying types are in life.

        5. Reltzik

          Is Mary responsible for making Ruth’s situation worse? Definitely yes.

          Is she the only one who did? Almost certainly not, if our speculation about “Sir” and her grandpa are correct.

          Is she more responsible for it than Walky? Definitely.

        6. TheAnonymousGuy

          I really don’t think walky can share any blame, you have to know about the problem to blamed for ignoring it and he’d asked Billie about it and she shut him down every time.

  34. Lyssie

    “As the self-proclaimed and devoid of empathy moral center of this wing, I have to hold on to my blackmail material and find somebody else to blame before I have enough time to process what’s happening and think that my blackmail might have contributed to the RA’s failing health, or to realize that Jesus might have a few issues with my blackmailing anyone in the first place.”

    On the upside, I see Rachel on her phone in panel 2. Looks like the residence manager is getting called whether Mary likes it or not.

    1. Cerberus

      (pearl voice) It’s over. Isn’t it? Isn’t it over?

    2. Pat

      Ah, missed that. Actually, is Grace looking at Mary or Rachel?

  35. JessWitt

    Walky just met Mary and has already gotten her basic essence down.

  36. Palamdrone

    Looks like Rachel is trying to catch a pokemon.

    1. Shiro

      This strip was likely written a couple of months before Pokemon Go was a thing.

      1. WingedBeast

        I choose to interpret that as Willis being a prophet.

        1. Orion Fury

          I’ve heard that happens quite often.

        2. Anorak

          What is the term for a follower of willis?

        3. Falling Star

          A Willite.

        4. Marsh Maryrose

          A DYWer? A Damn-er?

        5. DonDueed

          A sufferix?

        6. Shiro

          That’s fair.

    2. inqntrol

      If only she could put Mary on a pokeball and never open it.

      1. Orion Fury

        Enjoy your stay in Billie’s Phone.

      2. Pat

        Send her to the PC.

  37. Fessus Sum

    Mary’s moral compass is a goddamn roulette wheel.

    1. Pat

      Look at it spin!

    2. Sam

      I love this analogy.

  38. Mandy

    I can’t believe Mary even thinks she is a good person anymore. She’s actively blackmailing (and now scrambling to hold on to her source). Even if it’s over something that she takes offense to, she has to know that blackmailing itself is wrong, right?! Ugh.

    tl;dr – EVEN MARY HAS TO KNOW HOW SHITTY MARY IS

    1. Nat

      It seems like she’s sort of trying to preserve her “I have power over the RA” position, seeing that if Ruth gets fired the next person might not deal with her shit.

    2. Shiro

      She somehow seems to delude herself into thinking she’s working for the greater good. The ends justify the means, after all.

      1. Cerberus

        This.

        The ends justify the means.

        As well as the idea that good deeds are the wages of sin. In that, trying to do good to be good is to show your lack of faith in God and his trust that you are saved for your faith alone. So, it really doesn’t matter what she does against sinful heretic sinner types, so long as she’s pure and battling said sinners.

      2. rick

        i just flashed on VIKI from I, Robot

        1. StClair

          “You so need to die!”

    3. Palamdrone

      Show me where in the bible it says blackmail is a sin!

      1. Orion Fury

        How about: 1 Timothy 4:2 – By the hypocrisy of men who speak lies, marked in their conscience as with a branding iron.

        Or perhaps: Ezekiel 22:12 – In you they take bribes to shed blood; you take interest and profit and make gain of your neighbors by extortion; but me you have forgotten, declares the Lord GOD.

        Or were you just being facetious?

        1. Solenoid

          Please do find more. This nail deserves to be driven in the whole way.

        2. Orion Fury

          I’m sensing sarcasm, so I’m assuming as such. Am I wrong? I have enough trouble picking up on it spoken, let alone written.

        3. thejeff

          But she’s not trying to profit or make gain by extortion, but to enforce moral purity on the dorm – by shaming the perverts and imposing Christian prayer upon them.

    4. cmd1095

      Fundies don’t see anything wrong with anything so long as they’re doing it in the name of god. Ruth is gay, and therefore Mary is free to do whatever she needs to in order to inflict pain and suffering upon the heathen, or that’s what she thinks anyway. To her Ruth is not a fellow human being, she is a sinner, and sinners must be punished.

      1. Spencer

        Ruth is bi, though I doubt Mary would even care to tell the difference.

    5. Sam

      She deludes herself into thinking she is justified.

      Blackmailing someone who is doing something wrong in the first place = okay in her books.

      She also thinks destroying someone else’s property is an appropriate response to someone being annoying.

      She’s a very big believer in wrath and vengeance, not so much in love and forgiveness and thinks she’s the only truly completely moral person on their floor probably.

    6. Heather

      Me thinks Mary pulls the ‘ends justifies the means’ type of thinking. She’s in a ‘moral crusade’ mode after all.

      Casualties were always meant to happen in God’s plan. Nothing to feel guilty over.

      Overall she sees herself as the ‘moral centre’ as perhaps the only True Christian ™. I think it more or less is one of those consequences of deeming a being you follow as morally perfect but well, they don’t seem to talk back anymore like in old religious texts. People trust their own gut and interpretation on what a morally perfect being would do, and unfortunately Mary is kind of a terrible person.

      Honestly it’s hard to think she may become guilty/more insightful in the future- I mean it’s not /impossible/ granted, but a lot of christianity is about rejecting the sinful world in favour of God and not being waylaid by ‘tempting’ arguments or appeals to emotion. (I remember getting preached that a lot of secular arguments /seem/ reasonable but they are tricks from Satan.). It’s a hard nut to crack sometimes. Really some evidence of discomfort or confusion has to exist for someone to change usually and we see no evidence of that from Mary yet.

      TLDR: The god Mary follows is a very silent and… multi-interpretational figure, and generally his ‘will’ is interpretated based on gut feelings on what is right and wrong- thus being dependent on the person in question and…. this is Mary.

      1. thejeff

        To quote Mary: If evil weren’t nice, nobody’d bother with it.

    7. Fart Captor

      Its easy! All you have to do is adopt a smug sense of superiority, then convince yourself that any self-doubt you feel is just the devil trying to interfere with the Lord’s work!

      Now you never need to question yourself again! Its morally horrific!

  39. Liliet

    Someone please punch Mary.
    Please, I’m not asking for a lot. Just one punch. One bloodied nose, or even just a lip, or a black eye.
    Just… hit her. Make her realize she’s not untouchable, and if she makes everyone hate her, it will come back and bite her in the ass.
    A metaphorical punch will do, too. Like someone (CARLA) saying out loud what she was trying to do, and does she realize it was actually her fault?

    Please. Please. Let this happen.

    1. Reltzik

      Please let it be someone dressed up as Batman.

      I ask partly because it would be awesome, and partly because Willis is more likely to grant the request that way.

    2. Cybersnark

      I believe Joyce is the designated Fist of God. Be patient.

    3. Disloyal Subject

      It would probably just make her see herself as a martyr and double down on acting superior to all the sinful filth.

  40. Some1

    I’m honestly starting to think Mary might be insane, like Azula levels of crazy.

    Her entire plan is completely pointless. She never asked for anything substantial while blackmailing Ruth!

    Why didn’t she ever say anything to the affect of: Hey Ruth, if you don’t give me 20 dollars everyday I’ll tell everyone what your doing with Billie.

    1. cmd1095

      To her it’s not about what she gets from Ruth, it’s about the fact that she CAN get things from Ruth. It’s about control over the lesbian heathen whose very existence appalls Mary. She doesn’t want to gain anything, she just wants Ruth to suffer.

      So yes, she is nuts.

      1. Kris

        Seriously. Mary is approaching cartoonish levels of blatant antagonism here. She might as well grow and curly moustache or a goatee. What’s the end goal for her? Her blackmail ship’s sinking.

        1. Minotaur

          I actually find her moral confusion and misapprehensions about her own role as portrayed in today’s comic extremely realistic. She is fuzzy on her goals like a real person.

          I am very grateful that there is a fourth wall between me and Mary.

        2. Kris

          I think there’s a difference between acting in character and acting realistic. Mary’s very in character but her character in general is a little over the top for me. I’ve met some horrible people but Mary has almost no redeeming qualities. I could argue that even Toedad at least loves his daughter. I can’t do that with Mary. Believe me I don’t want to defend Walky but Mary forcing blame on a complete stranger with little context of what’s happening is just ridiculous. But hey this is a comic where most characters are a little over the top. A few chapters ago there was a friggin car chase with a masked vigilante crashing into another person’s car and they joined forces! So maybe Mary is supposed to be like this or even that I just don’t have enough experience with her personality type.

        3. Pat

          You’d be quite wrong in saying that he loves his daughter. Like, you missed literally everything we know about him wrong.

          Anyway, she’s flailing to blame somebody else, because if you look at what she’s saying in the last panel she’s clearly describing her own behavior.
          And she’s shouting and trying to make sure nobody else says anything so she can exert control. Yeah, I do have experience.

        4. Kris

          Let me rephrase that. He loves a certain interpretation of his daughter that doesn’t exist. It’s actually slightly tragic in a way. But if he didn’t have some weird form of love for Becky why even bother tracking her down and holding her hostage at gunpoint to “save” her or whatever delusion he was going through. Why not just completely abandon her? That’s something I’ve personally witnessed. So why would Toedad even bother? But hey maybe I am missing something. I can’t even begin to understand these people and maybe that’s for the best. Sorry didn’t mean to go on a mini tangent.

        5. Some Guy

          So, he loves this idea of a “perfect daughter” more than the actual person that his actual daughter actually is, and this is supposed to be his “redeeming” quality? It’s certainly an accurate description of one of his psychoses and it is tragic, but it is certainly not redemptive.

          I suppose you could argue that the fact that he didn’t just write her off completely hints at the possibility that maybe eventually he will be willing do the hard work he needs to do to understand and care for his actual daughter, but that seems unlikely. It seems far more likely that he’ll either continue to be a stubborn delusional bigoted asshole, or he will eventually do a cost/benefit analysis and decide apathy is more cost-effective than trying to convert his daughter into someone that he could possibly love.

        6. Sam

          I don’t think Toedad’s love for a non-existent version of his daughter is a ‘redeeming quality’. It doesn’t matter if he loves a non-existent version of his daughter or if he just flat out doesn’t love her at all – either way he is rejecting who she is as ‘not good enough’ or ‘not okay’.

    2. Cerberus

      Sure, she did, she asked for “restoring the moral order” of the hall by demanding school prayer and the right to “minister” to the trans woman about her “delusions”.

      Also what cmd1095 said. Yes, it’s a doomed plan, but she believed God would have her back in this holy mission.

  41. newllend(henryvolt)

    I wonder if Mary has a conscience and not a need to worry about her self image…..probably the last thing

    1. Romanticide

      her conscience might do stuff like “you are not shaming the sinners enough”

  42. Firewater513

    Hmm… Mary wearing a scarf by itself is not suspicious, but with the flavor text there’s two instances of pointing it out in one comic.
    Think Mary is hiding some hickeys? Hickeys aren’t terrible, but it would be wonderful irony falling very much in line with past comics to have them come to light right about now.

    1. Needfuldoer

      Mary’s hypocrisy is only overshadowed by her religious extremism.

    2. Silamy

      I’m kinda curious how she’d get them. Is Mary capable of hiding her…. Mary-ness long enough for anyone to be willing to do that? Is there a single redeeming quality to her that would make anyone want to spend time with her? I mean, even Joyce at her most naive didn’t have much besides “she’s a good artist” and “she goes to church a lot and says she’s a devout Christian [but she’s not really nice]”, and that was JOYCE, who had nothing bad to say about anyone, looked for the good in everyone, and whom Mary had absolutely nothing against.

      1. Minotaur

        I’m afraid I find it entirely plausible that Mary would be able to find someone to give her hickeys. She doesn’t look awful, and anything else is fairly easy to ignore for a het guy. Though I am extrapolating. My own experience is limited to women I find emotionally inaccessible and/or baffling, not actually morally repulsive.

        1. Commodore Jeep-Eep

          Her being hypersexual and hating herself for it and compensating with her asshattery would be interesting, wither it be just a pissy str8 or weither she likes herself some girls on top.

    3. Romanticide

      Knowing what I know of the alternate Mary… I think you might be onto something…

  43. Nono

    Yeah Mary, you knew something and didn’t tell anyone! It’s your fault.

  44. newllend(henryvolt)

    The kicker here is that I’m pretty sure blackmailing is a sin so.

    1. Reltzik

      …. it is? News to me, I thought it was legit. I mean I suppose you can interpret some things like the Golden Rule broadly, but…

      1. Stu

        It is by virtue of the whole “Forgive us our trespasses/debts, as we forgive those who trespass against us (forgive our debtors)” thing contained in the Lord’s Prayer. Of course, for Mary it’s not a “sin” because she’s doing so against two sinners in service to something virtuous – castigating a separate sinner!

      2. miz

        iirc the bible has several verses that basically amount to “hey, don’t extort people, that’s bad”, but i have no idea about their context.

      3. Mav

        It is because you’re forcing someone to lie by omission and by extension you are also lying by omission, and you do such a thing with evil in your heart. Also, blackmailing someone rather than being compassionate and doing the “right” thing because it’s right.

        “.. in thoughts and in my words, in what I have *done* and what I have *failed* to do.”

        Mary is selfish and takes pleasure in hurting others. She doesn’t give a crap about Ruth or Billie or that Ruth is not a great RA. She just wants power and control and to be a bully but conceals it with false righteousness- also a sin of pride.

  45. Triniking1234

    From panel 2 I can tell that the time is Full o’ Shit o’clock.

  46. Guairdean

    I first read that as “scurvy jerkass” (damned cataracts) and thought Walky was going pirate on us.

  47. burntnorris

    what the fuck even is mary? like seriously, what the fuck is she? a demon? the living embodiment of cancer? or even worse… twitch chat

  48. leafirebender

    From the first few panels, I get the feeling Mary is about to do a heel-face turn and cover for them. I might be dead wrong, but that’s my prediction

    1. Some1

      It wouldn’t be a full hell face turn, but it might be the start of one.

      Guys, you can’t just expect Mary to magically realize she was wrong and change her mind in a single comic. Changing takes time, and effort and lots of pushing back.

      Mary will start to feel guilty, and will attack anyone who confirms her guilt as she tries to convince herself she was right. Then she will push back because she feels that even if she did change everyone already hates her, so changing is pointless.

      At this point it can either go two ways:

      1. Epic heroic sacrifice where she dies in Joyce’s arms after saving Becky or some shit.

      2. (the way way more realistic option) She starts attempting to connect with the people around her and slowly but surely becomes better.

      1. Some1

        Problem is, were missing that one guy who will forgive anyone.

        Lets see here:

        Goku seems to be busy this week, but I think I can book Steven Universe.

        1. miz

          Idk man, he’s got that whole Summer of Steven thing going on right now, he might be a bit full up. It’s a bit farther down the list, but what’s Naruto up to these days?

        2. Some1

          Wait…I might be able to get Superman.

          Shit, I can only get Man of Steel Superman.

        3. miz

          Ehhhhh…might be better to skip that one.

        4. Falling Star

          I could try to find Jaune Arc real qui-
          Waait, he’s on his way to Haven right now. Damn.

        5. DonDueed

          Sorry, Shepherd Book is booked.

      2. ischemgeek

        For 2 to happen, it would require Mary to have the capacity to recognize that this situation is her fault. I don’t think she does.

        At least, the Marys I’ve dealt with haven’t. They usually took a situation like this as sign they’ve got carte blanche to up their tormenting to unprecedented levels as they tried to bully me to death.*

        *My way of referring to that thing where someone bullies another until the other person dies by suicide. If you think there aren’t people who try to do that intentionally, you never met the Marys in my life.

  49. Just Here

    Moral center my left ass-cheek. More like a self-righteous bongo.

    Never trust someone who proclaims that that they are righteous, for those who are truly righteous never proclaim it.

  50. Jack

    The jist I’m getting is that Mary likes power. She likes having dirt on Carla, Billie, Ruth, etc.

    If everything is out in the open, Mary loses her power. Like almost all blackmailers, Mary doesn’t want the blackmailing to end. Which is what’ll happen if everything is out in the open.

    1. Victor Riley

      Bingo.

      1. StClair

        also, bongo.

  51. AgentKeen

    She’s just so, so, so awful…

  52. Pseudo

    I don’t see Mary trying to hold on to her blackmail material right now. I see her worried that she is responsible for Ruth being in actual danger. That’s what she can’t let get out, and why she responds to Walky in the way she does. Another part is that if Ruth is fired, that Mary blackmailed Ruth is also going to come out. Mary has a lot to fear right now.

    In fact, the second thing I said may be the entire reason. She might not realize that Ruth’s mental state is what it is.

    1. Cerberus

      I agree with the second part, but if she was actually concerned about Ruth being in danger, her first reaction wouldn’t have been to yell at Carla for “letting everyone know” and then focusing on any method she can to dissuade everyone away. She’d instead be showing some tiny amount of remorse for the fact that she nearly killed a woman.

      1. Pseudo

        Oh, I wasn’t thinking that she was concerned about Ruth being in danger, although she might be, slightly. I was thinking she could be concerned about how she put Ruth in danger. Less “I hope Ruth’s alright,” and more “Ruth is putting my soul/social status in danger!”

        After all, if Mary isn’t morally righteous, what is she?

        Hmm. Walkyverse Mary was a hypocrite, and knew it. I wonder if this one does. She might be nothing but a mask, and more deserving of pity than vitriol. And don’t misunderstand, she’d be deserving of both, just MORE deserving of pity.

        1. Cerberus

          As much as I straight up loathe Mary as a human being, I’m loving that we’re seeing more focus on her and how her mental process works. And all props to Willis for being willing to put himself in the mindset of a truly odious person to bring her to life.

  53. Victor Riley

    Is Mary purposefully trying to be the most horrible person?

    1. Charles Phipps

      No, she comes by it naturally.

    2. Gamaran Sepudomyn

      I can’t see how anyone could lack such basic self-awareness without actually trying, so I’m going to say yes.

    3. Triniking1234

      Impossible. She’ll have to de-throne Amber’s and Becky’s dads and even I think Mary won’t cross those lines.

  54. Teddae

    WOW. wow. she is fucking disgusting

  55. Reltzik

    Okay, Grav Roulette, this is the THIRD TIME with Agatha.

    What the hell?

    Listen. Listen very carefully.

    Nope means nope.

    1. Orion Fury

      I don’t think the Grav Roulette cares about safe Grav Assigning.

    2. StClair

      It is unavoidable. It is your destiny.

      1. Cerberus

        Give in. Give in.

        1. Falling Star

          One of us. One of us.

      2. Reltzik

        Your Star Wars quotes have no power over me!

    3. Willoughby Chase

      You’ll be stuck with her personality and hairstyle IRL soon.

      Willis has lain some gentle voodoo on you. Accept it with grace and all will be well:)

      1. Reltzik

        Hey, I’m okay with Grace. I just don’t want Agatha.

  56. Got

    Mary needs to bone up on game theory. In panel 1 she says “don’t call RM” and then 3 panels later she is all “if you don’t contact the right people it is all your fault”.

  57. Sheason

    Everyone is focusing on Mary. Meanwhile, Rachel who just said she was going to get the residence manager, is quietly tapping away at her phone.

    2:1 odds.

    1. rectilinearpropagation

      Oh, she’s definitely getting the manager. There’s literally no reason for anyone to care about Mary’s insistence that she be allowed to handle it.

  58. zoelogical

    hahahah what mary how do you stand to benefit from this

    are you just looking to make more people suffer? or to try and make everyone terrified of being the next person on the chopping block against your insufferable rightness? are you going to blame person after person, divide and conquer?? in the game of blames you play or you die.

    i don’t understand her strategy here yet

    1. Cerberus

      At this point, I think she’s scrambling and trying desperately to throw some chaff up in the hopes of preserving something out of all of this. The problem is that her only real method of defense that she knows is to attack others where she sees them as weak.

      It’s a personality type, sadly. Interestingly enough, not to say this is Mary’s backstory, but I usually see the “attack everyone to protect your secrets” personality types in survivors of emotionally abusive environments where passive-aggression and misdirection were literally survival mechanisms.

      Not saying that is true of Mary. It’s very possible that she’s just that self-centered and devoid of empathy for “sinners”, but it’s an interesting mindset nonetheless.

      1. dethtoll

        My money’s on the latter to be honest. Mary is pretty much intended to be the two-dimensional villain of the piece. She’s been aggressively unpleasant in just about every speaking appearance she’s had, with zero redeeming factors (well, I like her outfit in this strip, but that doesn’t count.) She’s pretty certifiably a Bad Person.

        It’s a useful, functional character trope, to be fair, but even if I’m wrong, I’m not foreseeing any focus on a potentially-sympathetic backstory.

        1. thejeff

          It would be interesting to reveal some sympathetic backstory, but not have that led to heel-face turn. Have her stay the villain.

          Having just looked back at her early “If evil weren’t nice, nobody’d bother with it” line, I wonder if there’s some personal relevance to it: someone apparently nice that taught her that lesson, perhaps.
          Could just be theology, of course.

        2. Gamaran Sepudomyn

          Willis said her parents are probably very nice, so nope. She’s just a jerk.

        3. zoelogical

          theory: Mary is just offended by people she sees as corrupt being perfectly nice while also not living up to her personal standards so she feels like she has to do the dirty work in order to enforce purity

          so she associates goodness with how nasty and spiteful she feels all the time, as the price of her entrance to heaven, and evil with pleasure and freedom

        4. Cerberus

          I see Mary as the other side of the coin as Joyce.

          Joyce sees people her faith labels as “evil” being good and kind and being nice to others and worries that her faith may have been wrong about those sorts of people being without worth.

          Mary sees the same and decides the people are without worth, as sinners so adept at twisting people around to support their sinful causes all to personally attack the faith of Christians and make them doubt the true word of God.

          And once in that mindset, it can be easy to justify all manner of horrible actions, because, hey, they did it first by attacking me with their existence.

        5. zoelogical

          yeeeeeeeeeeees that’s good analysis

          she can’t reassess her beliefs as she comes in contact with reality that defies them so she changes her perception of reality instead

        6. Slartibeast Button, BIA

          My take is that Joyce thinks that sin is bad because it leads to people doing harmful stuff. And God knows this and made those things sins to help prevent the harmful stuff. So if the sin isn’t leading to harmful stuff, she needs to rethink matters.

          Mary thinks sin is bad because God said it was bad. What happens or doesn’t happen because of sin is irrelevant. It is bad because God said so.

      2. thejeff

        Her face in those first two panels, particularly the eyes: Going from broad, open, trust me eyes, to tiny panicked dots at the mention of the residence manager.
        Yeah, she’s scrambling. Not just to preserve her hold on an RA, but to keep the blackmail and her other behavior from coming out, because once her hold’s gone, there’s nothing to keep Ruth (or Carla!) from turning her in.

      3. zoelogical

        yeeee looking at it very more it’s a very…distracting technique? if she can make it all this random boy’s fault, then it’s not hers. and i doubt she’s much of a fan of Dorothy/Walky getting it on, on the list of things that she dislikes on the floor.

        as people have said, her parents are supposed to be pretty nice; but that doesn’t mean that they couldn’t have gotten involved in an emotionally abusive church? and Mary just latched on to the ideology and justifications. or, idk, maybe they’re the kind of people who would never do it themselves but they don’t mind hearing about other people doing it so they can feel secure in the knowledge that they’re not the victims even as they’re being used.

        >> idk there are a lot of ways that someone like Mary can become themselves, probably. you just have to grow up with a lot of fear about the outside world and the belief that you have to enforce your standards by any means possible. even if she was never emotionally abused herself, she could have been strongly influenced by people who were, i guess is the point i’m making. but that’s mostly because i’m theorizing this kind of skill of emotional manipulation as something that can be taught.

        idk like the thing is that Mary is not personally affected by Billie and Ruth, or Carla. she’s affronted, but she never actually had to take it as seriously as she did. so the parallel to someone who grew up with emotional abuse is there, but she’s the aggressor. if she was being cornered and it was a last-ditch grab for autonomy, that’d be something else, but that’s not her situation.

      4. zoelogical

        idk i guess i just feel like the most efficient strategy here would be to back up and out and away from the fallout. because why would Ruth want anyone to know that one of her charges was trying to blackmail her? but then that sort of presumes somebody with the wisdom to live to blackmail another day and that’s not Mary, lmao.

        1. thejeff

          Once the things Mary was holding over her are out in the open anyway, why not let everyone know Mary was blackmailing her? What’s to hide at that point?

          Or, in Mary’s world: I’ve lost my hold over Ruth and she’s got one on me, since blackmail is a crime.

        2. zoelogical

          yeaaaah that’s legit

          Mary’s made this about power and control so she has to keep the power and control on her side of the equation and she’s losing all of it

  59. brumagem

    Way to build a strawman, Scarved Jerkass.

    1. Falling Star

      “Do you wanna build a-”
      *gets shot*

  60. Stu

    And this is why, for all his faults, Wally is so damn lovable – he has no filter, and thus is prone to say what the readers are thinking!

  61. deadlinedance

    Mary, you brood of vipers.

    Yes, you’re an entire brood. Wearing a human suit. Someone pull off her scarf and undo the zipper, watch all the snakes come out.

  62. Silas

    Is it my imagination or does Mary look panicked?

    1. Cerberus

      Mary’s world is collapsing in on her in a way she believed it never would owing to her position of power and her choice of targets. So she’s freaking the fuck out.

    2. Romanticide

      Is not your imagination, she looks very much like Mary starting to panic and trying her last resorces to hold on.

  63. Heather

    Is…. is rachel texting someone about this? Is she recording this???

    1. Cerberus

      Yup.

      Mary’s bad day is just getting worse.

  64. Chiitaku

    Anyone else notice that Carla has disappeared to hopefully get help that she will have told about Mary’s shenanigans regarding bullying her that a certain RA will back her up on?

    1. Cerberus

      Yup. I’m not sure that that’s why, but she’s definitely off doing something.

  65. Tenzhi

    ~I’m barin’ my neck and you’re to blame… you give scarves a bad name!

  66. Jason

    Seriously, why is Mary dressed like a Wild West bank robber?

    1. Cerberus

      The Great Ruth Brain Heist!

  67. Tandel

    I can’t wait for the day Mary gets what is coming to her. It’s going to be delicious and I will savor every moment of it.

    I will cook a god damn steak in celebration and drink wine with it. And I’m not even a wine guy.

    1. Cerberus

      I think it might be today (in comic). I don’t see how she talks her way out of this and with every desperate attempt to obfuscate, she’s getting closer to spilling the beans herself.

  68. Time Heist

    I find it difficult to say that I hate anyone, fictional or real, but I’m really starting to hate Mary. She is the worst sort of human being, and really gives Christianity a bad name.

  69. adam

    Is “Scarved Jerk-ass” , now the Female equivalent of “Neckbeard* ” ?

    ****
    *Reminder to Self: Its 90 degrees . Shave, you fluff-faced wannabee Captain-Caveman Mothertrucker.

  70. BenRG

    You always wanted to be the leader, didn’t you, Mary? Oh, and you’re the ‘moral centre’ of the floor? You know, you should always be wary of people like that. People who need to remind you that they’re a moral authority usually do so because they are not one at all.

    1. Anorak

      My interpretation of her saying she is the moral center is that she is admitting half of the floor is better than her.

    2. Lizzie

      I appreciate the blonde girl who looks like she’s side eyeing Mary like “Yeah right homophobe, your morals ain’t sh–“. It makes me wonder how many people on the floor actually know what degree of nasty Mary is. Luckily, Roz may be able to step in if Mary tries anything and say how awful she is, thus ruining any credibility on the floor.

      1. Cerberus

        Probably most. I mean, Carla pretty much hinted that Mary’s got a reputation for being a bigot. And a good portion of the floor is queer women. Including Grace who is side-eyeing her there.

  71. Peter

    This is going to end very badly for Mary. And I think she somehow already knows that.

  72. NinjaZaku

    I want to see Mary’s face when she realizes just how little people care about her pettyness.

  73. Cerberus

    Comic Reactions:

    Mary is a shit. (roll credits)

    Okay, okay, it’s not just going to be that.

    Panel 1: Rachel has no patience for your bullshit, which is a nice character consistency from the other universe, where she was always the character that saw through Joe’s toxic masculinity fronting and got him to knock it off.

    Also, Mary, not sure what your endgame is, but I kind of love that you’re throwing it all away anyways. I mean, if you weren’t an egotist, you’d be slinking away right now, ready to deny any allegation that you blackmailed the RA, maybe even position yourself to tell the Residence Manager yourself so as to try and minimize how much you were going to burn.

    But that would be admitting she lost. So, of course, she scrambles to reset the status quo. Her whole character is desperate flails to restore some mythic status quo where all the filthy “others” know their place and don’t insist on corrupting her perfect world with their existence.

    And just like with the pie, that will be her undoing. And I love that Carla has set it up perfectly, so with each step it is Mary’s own behaviors, the ones that gave her all the information and power in the first place that are unmaking her and rendering her powerless.

    I would never want to play a game of chess with that woman.

    Panel 2: And Mary ignores the first rule of holes… But seriously, of course she tries to seize power and bully people off the trail. Of course she leads with an insult to the moral character of everyone else. In panic, she reverts to her autopilot and her autopilot is a terrible fucking human being.

    She knows she’s in trouble, but the only defense she knows is to flail around and attack everyone else and assert her moral authority. Sure, she just nearly drove a suicidal woman to death entirely because of her own homophobia, but pish tosh, she was only serving the God of her particular sect of awfulness.

    Panel 3: And Rachel is now recording? Prolly recording the whole conversation. Which I love. With instincts like that, I want to believe that she spends some of her free time protesting with Black Lives Matter and making sure her camera can catch out potential police brutality. I dunno, prolly not the case, but it is totally my headcanon right now.

    Also, I love Grace’s glare. You just know that Mary’s gone off on either Grace or Mandy before about their relationship and Grace is just done with Mary’s holy posturing.

    Also, confirmed closed and locked. So, at least Billie and Ruth have privacy for their intimate moment. That’s good. The last thing Ruth needs is to deal with a lot of confused but well-meaning folks demanding explanations.

    1. miz

      Recording would be an interesting possibility, but I’m not sure there’d be much in this specific moment that’s damning without the context? Depends on how they approached it, I guess. My reading of that panel was that Rachel was straight up just ignoring Mary and looking up the Resident Manager’s number like she said she was going to. The expression on her face is all blank and very “yeah yeah, whatever, I’m tuning you out now.” I only ever read Shortpacked, but I recall that Rachel had zero patience for these kind of shenanigans. And she’s not a freshman, so she’s more familiar with dorm politics; she doesn’t have time to sit around and indulge self-righteous ankle-biters.

      1. Mara

        Whatever Rachel is doing, it won’t be something remotely helpful.

        After all, she was the one who complained about the non-tragic ending of the campus shooting:
        http://www.dumbingofage.com/2015/comic/book-6/01-to-those-whod-ground-me/necks/

        1. Mara

          On second thoughts, perhaps i misread her and she was complaining that were would be no consequences (eg legal restrictions to the possession of firearms) to make life on campus safer.

        2. Cerberus

          That’s how I read that comment. I see her as resigned to political stagnation, but that sort of weariness (at least in my mind) feels like it must have sprang from actual political engagement. Hence why she was discussing school shootings and politics with Other Rachel in the first place (also, is it just me or does anyone else feel that Rachel and Other Rachel would actually make a cute couple).

        3. vlademir1

          Well, they are both cute already as individuals *and* seem to go rather well together so I’d agree they’d be a cute couple.

  74. Plasma Mongoose

    There’s a Ghostbusters joke in here somewhere, most likely inside of Mary.

    1. Falling Star

      Something’s strange is in the neighborhood.
      Who’s Rachel calling?

  75. Nicole

    Woah, am I interpreting this differently to everyone else? I saw “Mary sees depression and suicidal ideation and backtracks on being a buttface about gayness because it struck a chord, and tries to keep a lid on it” …maybe I’m way too nice. I’m normally on the Mary hate-train, but her reaction seemed less “gonna lose my leverage” and more “ohh, I fucked up” here :/

    1. Sylvie Wrath

      i read it this way too.

    2. Greenygal

      Even if that is what she’s thinking, she then immediately tries to blame someone else for the situation. I’m comfortable not giving her the benefit of the doubt here.

  76. Disgai

    Is Walky about to confess his love for Billie? o.0 Getting serious emotional buildup vibes from his arc. And he’s never given TOO much of a shit about… well, anything before.

    1. Spencer

      Nah, Billie is like his sister. He cares about her a lot, probably even more than he does Dorothy or Sal, and every time he’s seen her in pain he goes into full on panic mode.

  77. Confused

    Did Ruth actually swallow a bottle of pills or something or is she just very depressed?

    1. Liliet

      She’s just lacking in energy to do anything. Including, luckily for herself, finding a bottle of pills to swallow.

  78. Cerberus

    Comic Reactions 2: Where Mary’s defenders switch to the strawman defense:

    Panel 4: Oh Walky, you poor man. You’re freaking out and so worried for Billie and Mary is about to shit on that so bad. 🙁

    Also, Mary is such an unbelievable asshole. Oh, are you worried about your friend, cool, lemme exploit this for my own advantage. Seeing vulnerability as weakness, seeing weakness as an opening to attack.

    Panel 5: Walky in this panel is breaking my heart. He’s really taken it to heart that he didn’t trust his instincts with regards to Billie and he’s beating himself up way too much because of it.

    It’s not fair that he’s in that panic state, but it’s understandable. It can be easy to beat yourself up when you miss something big like that happening in a friend’s life. For not putting together the signs.

    I hope that Dorothy is able to comfort him later.

    Also, Mary literally putting her hand out and saying enough. What an authoritarian shitbird.

    Panel 6: Okay, I absolutely love Walky’s response here, because what the hell else do you say to that. He’s ripping himself apart and Mary immediately jumps on it to blame him and try and pin her crime on him instead. Even when she’s desperately trying to defend herself, she can’t help but attack anyone close by and blame them for everything.

    And it would be easy for Walky to be stunned into silence at the chutzpah like Carla was. But nope, he snarks. Because that’s his coping strategy and he recognizes that Mary echoing the part of his brain that hates him and internalizes all the guilt is a fault on Mary’s part not his.

    And it’s a great summarization of this moment. Because, what Mary is, what makes her such a compelling and sadly true to life villain and foil to the other characters, is the avatar of microaggressions. She’s every asshole making nasty comments, creating small negative moments in your day, and repeating the stuff you’re beating yourself up with. She’s the part of the world that sees someone in pain or someone who’s been fucked over by society and decides to throw an extra boot in. She’s the base that votes for Trump and thinks it’s great how he’s “saying what we’re all thinking”.

    And the worst part about her is any of us who are marginalized and especially those of us who are trans or queer have encountered Marys our whole life. Maybe a little at a time, maybe as a relative or an employer. But however we’ve encountered her, we know the sting of dealing with someone so aggressively toxic and petty. Who uses her intelligence to try and hurt others rather than uplift.

    And as such, I’m gonna enjoy her being hoisted by the petard of her own hubris.

    1. adam

      Saying Mary is the Avatar of Micro-aggressions, is a bit like Saying The Flash is the Avatar of walking quickly.

      True but ….

      1. Cerberus

        He walks quickly like crazy, though… okay, I see your point.

    2. Reltzik

      I’ve got a different interpretation of Panel 5. Mary’s still scrambling to keep the secret from coming out. She was happy to let Walky take the stage in Panel 4 and talk about anything else. She only barges over Walky and goes on the attack in Panel 6 because he goes back to talking about Billie and Ruth again. That interruption isn’t about authority; it’s about panic and desperation.

      “… going to enjoy her being hoisted by the petard of her own hubris.”

      Wait!

      Walky, master of the fart joke, is her current target! THIS IS GOING TO PLAY OUT PERFECTLY!

      ….

      …. okay, no, but I’ve never been able to read that line the same ever since I learned what a petard was.

  79. jerry

    alt text…
    Someone never played an rpg called “The Way”.

  80. Silamy

    Speaking of scarved people… is scarf-person from October 11th gonna be a Good Adult ™? We’ve got either a bittersweet (perhaps Danny and Ethan getting together?) or tentatively hopeful but REALLY not wanting to get hurt again Amber coming up in late September -optimistic-but-not-actually-believing-it headcanon for the next few months is that Scarf-Lady’s an IU counselor/therapist and some (if not all) of these characters are finally getting some much-needed help.

    1. miz

      Full character model for ref: http://dumbingofage.tumblr.com/post/143913894437/chloe

      “Chloe”, huh…does anyone recognize her from the old Walkyverse or is this a new character?

      1. Reltzik

        Huh. She looks older than the students. Maybe that’s Ruth’s boss?

  81. magicallady

    mary put a damper on scarves temporarily

    1. Reltzik

      *prescribes a Doctor Who marathon as treatment*

  82. BenRG

    A sudden thought occurs to me: Does Mary sound like a younger Linda Walkerton? It occurs to me that Walky’s ‘voice of self-righteous judgement’ would most likely have his mother’s voice.

  83. MathiasMindblade

    Ok, so lemme see if I got this down. Joyce is the Jesus Archetype in this universe, and Mary is the Devil Archetype. Joyce is the representation of @damnyouwillis in the Dumbiverse. She is the personification of his experiences being a devout Christian and then seeing the pure hypocrisy of his own faith, effectively turning the world on it’s head. Mary is the devil/antagonist because she is the personification of that religious hypocrisy. This story is the Book of Relevations in the Dumbiverse. The final battle between good and evil within the mind of God/@damnyouwillis.

  84. Potatamoto

    I’m so very, very suspicious. Why is Mary wearing that outfit? It seems odd and out of place. Why wouldn’t she want the authorities to come up? What is she hiding?

    1. MathiasMindblade

      She is growing sooooo much weed in the basement.

    2. Willoughby Chase

      It seems to me to be a cross between something worn by a Communist Commissar and Cotton Mather and Mathew Hopkin (witchfinder general).

      Which is appropriate in the circumstances.

      > Why wouldn’t she want the authorities to come up

      She wants to retain her grip over Ruth. Mary has power, and she won’t let go.

      1. MathiasMindblade

        She’s one of those people that bully a person to suicide.

        1. Cerberus

          Yup. This.

      2. Potatamoto

        Yeah…that is definitely in Mary’s wheelhouse, no doubt about it. But the way she’s playing this right now gives me the feeling that there’s something else going on and she’s afraid of being exposed. Have to wait and see!

  85. Willoughby Chase

    I cringed at the words “moral center.” It carries a high-level whiff of bullshit and hypocrisy even without knowing Mary’s record on blackmail.

    1. zoelogical

      yeaaah it takes me back to politicians going on about traditional values tbh

  86. George Wiman

    Joyce is due back any minute now. If anyone’s gonna punch Mary…

    1. Falling Star

      Yes. Yes to all of this.

    2. Disloyal Subject

      I could go for a choke-slam, but hopefully Joyce has the wherewithal to not do anything illegal. Ross was an aggressor, and that punch wasn’t assault, but unless Mary goes seriously off the deep end here a punch isn’t going to be called for.
      Amazi-girl might be inclined to brutalize her in some dark alley if she gets wind of what’s been going on, but after the weekend Joyce has had I think she’ll be more inclined to deliver a blisteringly furious rapid-fire refutation of Mary’s arguments and actions with referenced Biblical passages.

      1. George Wiman

        I would totally accept said blisteringly furious rapid-fire refutation of Mary’s arguments and actions with referenced Biblical passages, as an appropriately metaphorical face-punch.

    3. zoelogical

      look this is completely unsubstantiated in the comic at any level and it is totally, definitely my crack theory

      but i feel like mary sees joyce as someone she can “save” bc she’s at a certain level of “purity” and that’s part of why she’s going so hard to clean up the floor in her absence so that when she comes back she can keep her in the flock as it were. either that or she sees joyce as a threat to her entire existence bc she’s a christian who took in her gay homeless best friend instead of cutting out the eye that offends you

      idk those are my assumptions but like you i am super intrigued on how joyce-mary is going to go down and i kind of hope that at some point it involves punching

  87. Seph

    Yeah Walky, how dare you just keep it to yourself instead of using it as blackmail! Bloody hypocrite…

  88. Kirbilius Clausius

    I can’t accept that Mary’s had a change of heart. I also don’t understand how she could think she’s protecting her blackmail leverage.

    If her morality comes from a doctrine rather than ethics then she should chastise herself for even attempting to protect Ruth/Billie or even slowing down on ‘correcting’ Carla. If she’s a bigot, then her hypocrisy should be her own behavior not concern for other’s welfare. In the Walkyverse, she fell to her own failings not her concern for others.

    I do not understand this character’s actions in the terms of this story.

    1. Liliet

      Her most primary motivation here is covering up a scandal.
      In her mind, ~terrible~ behavior of people on her floor reflects on her, and it’s her duty to prevent it if possible – or if not, at least cover it up. She doesn’t care about people getting help, AND she doesn’t want them to be punished. She was blackmailing Ruth about going to her superiors, she wasn’t actually going to do it – and even if she did, that would be HER snitching on ~bad people~, leaving herself white and sparkling. This? This is the scandal going out, and in her mind she’s going to be implicated in it herself.

      (Because that’s how her brain works. That’s how she hates Riley Desanto by association with her sisters. If you are with sinners, you are a sinner, and so she’ll avoid being seen as with sinners at all costs.)

    2. BenRG

      No, she wants to be the one to get all the ‘credit’ for ‘solving’ the situation and thus be the leading contender to be the new RA. It’s a simple ambition and she’s being fairly simple in how she’s pursuing it. However, I think that she might shoot herself in the foot by pushing the ‘moral depravity’ aspect when she tells the authorities about what’s going on.

      1. miz

        ?? She CAN’T be RA, she’s a freshman. And she’s never expressed interest in the position in-comic (that I recall, at least? But it still wouldn’t matter; she’s not eligible). She just wants control over Ruth so she can push her bigoted standards on the rest of the floor and get away with it.

    3. DinaWho

      Given how she jumps to blame Walky in the last panel, she may also be trying to avoid responsibility should something bad happen. First she attempts to take control of possibly notifying the authorities, either covering it all up and not telling anyone or at the very least giving her the time to hide her involvement before she contacts them.

      Walky arrives, and Mary decides to make him the scapegoat (‘you knew something was wrong and you didn’t do anything, this is your fault’), which is another attempt to conceal or distract from her involvement.

    4. Disloyal Subject

      She still thinks she has leverage over Ruth. If Ruth is removed from her position as RA, then Mary’s imaginary leverage over the whole floor is removed with her.

  89. Darkoneko

    Wait, if she closed and locked the door, that means most of us making guess at the lightning in the last few days were dead wrong, hahaha…ha

  90. OnyxIdol

    Methinks there will be metaphorical blood.

  91. Mr.Morningstar

    Mary what are you up to?

  92. ZORK

    I think Mary’s attempt at guilt-tripping Walky is probably the one thing that disgusts me the most about her in this particular strip.

    I mean, the other stuff she does here is also pretty horrible and only adds up to the shit pile she’s been amassing over the past time, but that she tries to tries to push Walky into thinking something horrible happened to a good friend of him (due to circumstances out of his control) because he didn’t do anything to prevent it (despite not being aware of the problem in the first place) is a new low for her.

    1. Cerberus

      Mary has a shovel and is determined to find rock bottom.

      1. Patrick

        She already hit rock bottom. Now she’s got a pickaxe.

  93. Falling Star

    Mary, you are faker than most modern pop stars.
    And that’s saying a lot.

  94. JBento

    Hello, people. Long time no see.

    Anyway, I don’t have time to even SKIM the comments properly today, but I didn’t see one explanation for Mary’s actions. Probably missed it, but here it is anyway:

    Mary doesn’t want the authorities to investigate without her being in control of the narrative, because she’s afraid her blackmailing will come to light and she’ll suffer… repercussions! The fear of every shitstain that ever shitstained!

    If only she can delay the investigation til November, I’m sure President Tantrump will legalise blackmail.

    @Cerberus: I think Mary tried the shovel, found it not efficient enough, and went straight for heavy machinery.

    1. Cerberus

      She’s got a whole working crew down there.

      And yeah, I agree. I think she’s used to getting away with it owing to the social status of her victims in the same way that harassers and stalkers do and really didn’t believe that her actions would actually get to a level of attention that actual repercussions for her actions.

      And yeah, you’re dead on that every shitbird in the flock is shocked and appalled at the idea that they could ever suffer repercussions for their actions. See any rich criminal actually arrested and how stunned and offended they are at the idea that the laws would actually apply to them.

  95. John Madden

    ‘Moral center’.

    Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight.

    1. JBento

      But a good candidate for moral centre of the right.

  96. Pat Myers

    Too bad Carla is probably still nearby and not in the mood for Mary’s shit.

    1. Larkle

      Carla is the actual moral center.

  97. fogel

    #notallscarves

  98. CianM1301

    Could this be a chance for Mary’s redemption? The world can only wait and see.

  99. Triniking1234

    Come on, Mary. It’s not worth holding on to this. Abort, bongo. Let it fucking go.

    Another user mentioned that it’s possible that an investigation could lead to people finding out that Mary black-mailed Ruth but seriously the administration still haven’t found out Becky is squatting on campus so I’m pretty sure Mary can squirm out of this situation.

  100. quarktime

    M̼̻̥̭̪͙a̱̯̝̟͟r̝̫̟̹̟̖ͅy įs͉͔͈ ̴̟̤͍̜̠̯̹t͖̱͟h͔̹̜e͉̺͇̱͉͍̙ ͉̦͈̤d̛̞͖͉a̞̙̜͖̙r̳̦̖̩͚͚̙͟k̠̦̞̺̺͎͘ņ̣͍͇̗̣̬e̦͍͍̪͈s͏̬̞̹͍s͙͢ ̨͓̣̩̥̭̘t͏h̫̞a͓t̨̯̻͈ ̴͎̪͙̯̘̫̭t͈̩͎͉hr̩͚͓e̡͕at̤̜͕e̩͓̻̘n̢̬͔̼̬̠̻ͅs͏ ̬̘͔̖̲̀a̗l̫̣͉l̨̘͕̻̟͈ ̩̲R̦͙̙̝̦͉e̖̺͝a̬̼͉͇̳̮͇l͍̼̘̳i̞̖͜t̢̪y̱̹͍̘.̡̲̻͚͕̝
    ͏͕̺͓̲͔̫ͅS͠h͙̰̘͖̗e̬͞ ̹̭̪̻̹̠̯m̪̥̩͎̖͈͜ụ͈̞͢s̖͈͇͎t̗͍͓̹̦̤ͅ ̻̰̩̺̜̞͉b͕̮̩̕e ̜̞̩̲ͅt̢͉̯̳͎̣̖ͅh̪͇̫͙e̦̹̯̣ ̴̫̫t̼̘̀r̙͖͓͈̬̺̤u̳̥̺̠̻͈ͅe Br͇i̛̼d͈͇̬͔̰͔̲̀e̴̳̮̭ ò̩̻̳f̧̣͇̳̮̪ͅ ̟͙Z̸͎͓̟a̷͙̖̬l̖̪g̩͇̹̝͉͞ọ̘̞͖̘.̤͉̖͍̩̹ͅ
    H͙̜̞̺͕͍e̬̜̘̹̰ͅ ̷̼w̹̻̥̩͞h̯o͙̜͉̠ ̠̩W̗͇̯̜̦a͝i͎͢t͓̜͉̳͙̤̝͡s̡͙̠̯̯͎͔ͅ ̀B̙ḛ̟̬̞͎̲͘h̖̩̠͔̜̱͞i̹̜̗͜n̗͓̠͢d͈͉̘̝͠ ̨T̴̯̟͉̜̗ͅh̻͈͓̖e̱͔͙ͅ ̼̜̖̞̯̖̟͠W̳͕̗̻̲̗a̶̬̥̮ll̠͉̪͙͕̳̘.̩͖͕̀
    ͔͇͚̗̪͚Z̪̦̞̮A͉͍̯̙͕L̪G̦̫̳O̳̟ ̢̬w̦̪͔̝͘i̧̼̙͍l̺̬̳̹̭̀l̯̼̩̙̟͟ ̘̻͖͍̪͇c̞̫̳̖̪͎̺l̨̼̙̥̪̱͉̳a̦̹i̗̦͓̩̯m̲̱̖̤̙͎̖ ͚̕M̳͇̝͞a͏͖r̤͓͎̘̙͢y̛̱̳͎̝̻̫̻ i̸͉͕̺͔n͇ ̢̼̞̝̜͔̦t̸̙͕͔̞ͅh̰̭͕̹̞e ̢ͅͅM̬͞a͚̦̳͚̯ͅrŗ̭̪íag̴̯͕͕̝̹eͅ ̗͍̟̼͝o͡f̙̣͍͔͚ ̴̝De͖̪s҉̻̮̣̠̯̣p͜a͚i̸͎̙͉r̤̫̼͝.͖̠̞̭͜ͅͅ

  101. Paul1963

    Mary: I have to ruin EVERYTHING for EVERYONE in order for me to feel truly righteous! Bow down before me, for you are unfit to touch the hem of my shit-brown belted jacket from the 1972 Sears catalogue! I AM THE MORAL CENTER! ONLY I MAY DECIDE WHO IS TRULY WORTHY OF HUMAN DIGNITY!!
    Jesus (from Above): I’m really going to enjoy it when she shows up here.
    Satan: You and me both, Josh. (They clink their bottles and drink deeply)

    1. zoelogical

      im crying this is perfect

  102. Willoughby Chase

    Like Cariolanus, she’s trying to be the “still point of the turning world” but

    “the centre cannot hold;
    Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world
    The blood-dimmed tide is loosed, and everywhere
    The ceremony of innocence is drowned;
    The best lack all conviction, while the worst
    Are full of passionate intensity.”

  103. exilon1

    I do not like Mary and I also do not trust her.

    1. Slartibeast Button, BIA

      Would you, could you, in a boat?

      Would you, could you, with a goat?

      1. Roborat

        I would, I could, with a mace.

        I would, I could, in the face.

      2. Umbrella Paint

        Maybe I could with a scapegoat cause Mary sure wants one of those

      3. thejeff

        Would you, could you with a duck?
        I really do not give a ….

  104. Regalli

    Dorothy and Other Rachel’s faces in the last panel suggest their thoughts are something like “Sweet fuck you just ripped a new layer in the asshole continuum didn’t you.”
    Or maybe that’s just me projecting, because damn Mary. Damn. You are an ASSHOLE.

  105. Sinewmire

    Wait… scarf? Does she have a hickey?

  106. Retrikaethan

    pretty much every time mary speaks i wish someone would take one for the team by picking her up and walking away with her. not like proper kidnapping but like taking her away from whatever situation she wants to fuck up in the name of…whatever it is she thinks she’s doing it for but is actually doing it for herself.

    1. StClair

      like when the Ko-Dan commander finally had enough of Xur and his shit?

      “How dare you!? I am the Emperor of Rylos! I and I alone command this entire arm–” *grab, drag* “Release me – I command you – YOU WILL PAY FOR THIS WITH YOUR LIIIIIVES!”

  107. Nena

    Mary needs to STFU.

  108. Mara

    I don’t like it how almost all the preview panels for the next month show people looking more or less shocked. Does not bode well.

  109. Some1

    The good news is that Mary Bradford is only the third most evil Mary I can think of off the top of my head. The bad news is that the Mary’s that beat her are either:

    A. Evil mirror ghosts
    B. Killed hundred of people.

    Also they might be the same person, I am honestly not sure.

    1. Charles Phipps

      Honestly, Queen Mary of the House Tudor was less of a murderous religious persecutor than her sister. It’s just Elizabeth’s supporters won history.

      1. JBento

        Nobody wins history. Sooner or later, they all end up dead.

  110. Vi

    Why does Mary have to be the absolute fucking worst.

    1. Reltzik

      Because we wouldn’t want there to be someone even worse than her?

      …. okay, wait, Toedad and Blaine and Ryan. So…. fourth worst?

  111. Tucker

    Wow…
    From annoying blackmailer to actual evil. Sort of impressive in a horrible ‘Richard III’ kind of way. The part where she is able to assign blame on the fly is a nice touch. Almost brings her shtick up to the level of an evil art form.

    I knew somebody like this once…he was only 16 and already able to seize opportunities for his own benefit while everyone else was actually dealing with the crisis. I had hoped he was the only one of his kind, but it looks like Mary has proved me wrong. Meh. I wonder who she is based off of because her behavior rings very true to life for me.

    “Moral Center” my [redacted]. One hopes that Carla opens up a can of whoop-ass on that B.S.

  112. Aislashu

    Ugh, Mary is vile.

  113. Ashley

    I hate that I like Mary’s outfit so much.

  114. Charles Phipps

    Mary’s eyes in the second panel are completely crazed.

  115. Foolong

    Mary is definitely Team Valor.

  116. Galatine

    Why would God ruin a perfectly good body with a perfectly horrible soul?

    Because he’s Willis. Damn you, Willis.

    Well, maybe Mary’s heart will grow three sizes today and she’ll just be a normal bongo instead of the Queen bongo.

  117. anon

    im hoping mary gets redeemed sooner or later?

    1. Slartibeast Button, BIA

      For valuable prizes?

  118. Wixvhen

    Man, this girl’s such a bongo… She’s trying to preserve her trump card, and make sure she doesn’t get ratted out as almost making somebody commit suicide. *Points back to Walky Ruth for anybody who wonders where he got that idea.*

  119. Galatine

    Doesn’t Walky have an almost violent reaction to churchiness?

    I just remembered that.

    Mary, back down.

  120. Black

    Wow, Mary is just a grade-A conga, isn’t she?

  121. Jhon

    What the fluff, Mary? Who died and made you RA?
    oops…

  122. David

    Ok, it needs to be said after checking the comment section so far: Walky’s getback in the last panel is presidential debate material. Without backing one inch down from his sincere worry about his own insufficiency, he devastates Mary’s attempt at leveraging it.

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