147

Scariest
Posted on September 21, 2012 by David M Willis

147 thoughts on “Scariest”

  1. Jen Aside

    BEGIN THE SMOOCHING

    1. Moonshine McGee

      I don’t think one six-pack would be enough to induce bi-curious makeouts in someone with Billie’s tolerance.

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        Six packs of moonshine might be enough though.

      2. Yotomoe

        You didn’t even give her a chance to get Pre-drunk.

        1. Shade

          Billie is ALWAYS pre-drunk.

        2. Raoullefere

          Yeah, but the shock of the Redheaded RA of Death walk in unannounced is more than enough to sober one from pre-drunk.

        3. Volkai

          Except for when she’s drunk.

      3. John

        I’m not so sure that inducing bi-curious makeouts in Billie actually requires booze.

        1. Kelvandil

          Probably requires an audience, though.

      4. Andrusi

        One six-pack would be insufficient alone, but Ruth also has the ability to terrify Billie into thinking bi-curious makeouts are her only chance for survival.

      5. Rex Hondo

        Maybe not, but when Ruth takes off her shirt and reveals the other six-pack she brought…

      6. Petre Pan

        Are you kidding? She was all ready to kiss Sal after only a few stolen drinks from Ruth’s room a few comics back.

    2. Banah

      All my porn watching tells me this is what happens to drunk college girls. All my drunk college girl experience tells me it’s not.

      1. Kernanator

        So what DOES your drunk college girl experience say will happen?

        1. Yotomoe

          lots of laughing and/or fighting between badly singing songs and thinking they’re awesome.

        2. Zap Rowsdower

          Vomit. Most probably on whoever wasn’t drinking.

        3. tahrey

          ^ Mine says all off the above, plus ordering pizza and eventually putting a really cheesy classic movie in the DVD player (or, given how long it’s _actually_ been, the VHS deck). Yet somehow managing to get changed into PJs and clean their teeth before sloping off to collapse half-asleep on the side of someone else’s bed, rather than just passing out in the chair they’re sitting in like the guys.

        4. Kernanator

          To be fair, that sounds hilarious.

        5. Pyrock

          Of course, forgetting to actually start the movie, just leaving it on the menu screen all night

        6. Banah

          Watching a lot of TV and being woefully single, mostly.

    3. Tan

      I see now. Well-played.

      (I looked at SP! first tonight)

      1. Jen Aside

        It’s hilarious because I didn’t plan it to work that way XD (I read here first)

  2. David Herbert

    Oh I can just hear the fan fics being written in the minds of thousands of readers.

  3. SplashBoogie

    AND THERE’S THE TITLE.

  4. Plasma Mongoose

    Who is Ruth pretending to be friends for? Is her father showing up soon?

    1. Sensedog

      If I am not mistaken, her father is deceased.

      Perhaps she is just trying to make a friend in the most unlikely person, or perhaps she hops to get Billie drunk enough to have her pass out so that she can erase a certain incriminating picture on her phone and/or hard drive. Who knows?

      1. Yotomoe

        Maybe Billie reminds her of a young Ruth and she wants to train Billie in the way of the Beer.

        1. Jacob

          What more is there for Billie to learn?

      2. Plasma Mongoose

        Wasn’t that her father to whom she was talking to on the phone when Billie was hiding in Ruth’s closet a bunch of comic-strips ago?

        1. Yotomoe

          No. She even made a point to say it wasn’t him later in the hallway when Billie confronted her about it.

        2. tahrey

          Stepfather … Grandfather … Uncle … Foster-father … other legal guardian… who knows?

        3. ProfessorZoot

          Christian Grey? Sorry, that was uncalled for . . .

        4. Ben

          Head Alien?

      3. Caffienated

        That does sound believable. I was beginning to think something was bugging Ruth but I like your theory better 🙂

    2. Shade

      Maybe… bare with me here.

      She needed actual human company and Billie sad as it may seem knows her more personally then anyone else.

      That or the crazier option of her attempting to offer an olive branch. I prefer the first hypothesis though.

      1. David

        I will not bare with you!

        1. Shade

          Haha, oh man can’t believe I wrote the wrong bear.

          But fine Willis suit your self.

        2. Bekah

          I am suddenly reminded of a guest strip Willis did for Rene Engstrom. I wish Anders Loves Maria wasn’t so hard to navigate these days, and the old guest strips were easier to find.

        3. Bekah

          Found it!
          (NSFW)

        4. Yotomoe

          I hate and love you for showing me that.

        5. Shade

          That is certainly a penis.

        6. begbert2

          You know, this sort of thing seems to always happen when Willis does guest strips, for some reasons.

        7. Rex Hondo

          I’ve seen more Willis-drawn dick in the last couple weeks than ever before…

        8. Jim

          It needs the Mapplethorpe touch. Where is the bull-whip?

        9. Petre Pan

          I totally mis-read that as drawn Willis-dick.
          I was like 0_0 why have you seen so many pictures Willis that way?

        10. Rex Hondo

          Rule 34, my friend. Rule 34…

        11. Kernanator

          Oh jeez, why does this exist, and why can’t I stop looking at it?

  5. Frostbite

    I’m scared…maybe aroused? Well it depends in how it goes.

    1. GrrArg42

      IT’S A TRAP!!! -G. Ackbar

  6. Wonder Wig

    It’s like being in a shark cage, while there’s a shark, on the inside, and the shark has boobs, and beer.

    1. Luke

      My boner is confused now. Thanks for that.

      1. Wonder Wig

        Then my work here is done. *fwoosh*

        1. Shade

          Bless you caped crusader of artifical hair.

        2. Historyman68

          Black Canary? Batwoman?

    2. ASmellyOgre

      When I read this comic, I thought I finally found out why this chapter was called Strange Beerfellows. Now I know why it really is.

    3. NF

      That is an awesome simile. Well done.

  7. ridureyu

    I can’t wait for the next story of Awkward Bonding!

    1. ArkhamTexan

      Awkward boning?

      1. Yotomoe

        Sounds perfect for Dina.

      2. Thisguy

        No, no. They definitely meant bonding. Or maybe it was bondage…

  8. Yotomoe

    Now you had better to cheer for the Colts or else. (knows nothing about football)

    1. SplashBoogie

      Well you got the right colors and uni style but the only uni we’ve seen for Ruth is the Toronto Maple Leafs (wrong sport btw)

    2. Wonder Wig

      Bludgers

    3. SplashBoogie

      And then I remembered this comic takes place in Indiana and understood everything and felt dumb.

    4. David

      Ruth cares not for your/our/their Colts!

  9. Ruth

    Look, I just gotta take a load off.

    1. Jim

      Then you should be in a guy’s room – to get the load off!

      1. Joseph Harner

        No, she needs to get *HER* load off. not his.

        1. Bill M.

          There are guys willing to do that, or die trying. Just head for the virgins, they want that experience more than Dina wants and actual dinosaur bone.

  10. Daeva

    And then they were best friends!

    Forever!

    1. Raoullefere

      And ever and Ever and EVer and EVEr and EVER…

      1. Skruff

        And ever and … well, except for that one time, but we shan’t speak of that…

  11. Nexev

    MY GODS.

    RUTH HAS INVITED BILLIE OVER FOR DINNER AND POLITE CONVERSATION.

    I WILL SAVE YOU FROM THE EVIL OF BLUE LAZER.

    COLLEGE COMMANDOS!

    1. Wack'd

      No, Miss Billingsworth, I expect you to dine!

      1. Petre Pan

        Ahahahahaha I hug you
        (and your mom)
        for that comment

      2. John

        Ah, Miss Lessick, we eat again!

  12. Stephen

    Yesssssss I hope this is the beginning of the Billy/Ruth friendship, I liked them in Roomies, was sad they were enemies here.

  13. Leon

    Her first clue should’ve been the idea of Sal using the door.

    1. Yotomoe

      Billie Painted the door like a window in hopes that it would get Sal to use it more.

      1. George

        Then Sal ripped it off from the bottom, assuming they opened the same way. Facilities doesn’t like Sal anymore.

        1. Narf

          Did facilities EVER like Sal?

          (“God DAMMIT! Bill, look at that. Shoe prints, on the brickwork near that third floor window, AGAIN! Who lives in that damn room, Batman?!”

          Now I’m picturing angry janitors using extend-o-mops to clean sal’s shoeprints off the wall by her window and grumbling the entire time, and it is amusing. 😀

  14. Uniqueantique

    And I have no idea where this is going, or coming from for that matter. I don’t believe Ruth is lonesome.

    1. Broggly

      Given the cruel and heartless persona she feels she has to adopt, I can see it.

      1. Raoullefere

        Billie’s not cruel and heartless. I mean, something has to be pumping the blood through her, or the alcohol would never reach her brain.

        Besides, she bought Joyce boots. Do the cruel boot the bootless?

        1. Wack'd

          Well, “boot” as in “kick out”…

  15. Kernanator

    Yeah, when someone who has tormented me for a while starts acting kinda sorta friendly, I get suspicious and scared too.

  16. Jon

    Good job, Ruth. Make sure to barge in on people’s private rooms without knocking. There’s not a chance in hell they’d be pulling a Mary.

    1. Yotomoe

      Ruth wouldn’t care. Soon she’ll be too sloshed to remember what clothes are.

    2. tahrey

      That’s the strangest euphemism I’ve heard for jilling off in quite a while.

    3. Roborat

      While I was thinking along the same lines, I must say I have never heard that saying before. Any backstory on the origin?

      1. Shade

        There’s a character in this comic called Mary who prefers being naked when alone?

  17. Effie

    Damn, but if she can’t talk, how can she ask for another beer?

    1. Skruff

      Mime?

    2. Petre Pan

      Just grab one. Who ‘asks’ anyway?

  18. ArkhamTexan

    Ahhhh, both Shortpacked and Dumbing of Age made me smile today. Good way to end a Friday.

  19. Aristophanes

    Aww, fwiends!

  20. ilvos01

    GEROMINO STILTON MUST SAVE THE DRAGONS
    CAN YOU? TAKE THE QUIZ
    I must do this. I must save the dragons.

    1. ilvos01

      I’m some sort of frog poet, apparently.

      1. hmrc4evr

        If you have a little Uru hammer and summon the hammer we can call you Throg.

        You know, the Frog of Thunder? Hammer brother to the Mighty Thor?

        What–does no one else read Pet Avengers??

        1. hmrc4evr

          Summon the thunder not the hammer.

          Typos.

          This is why you dont post at 2am from your cell phone w/o your glasses on.

        2. HeatPhoenix

          Sounds like you’re having an interesting evening.

  21. Brasca1

    If her plan is to drink her under the table and then destroy the evidence Ruth has picked a formidable adversary.

  22. Bekah

    And so it begins.

  23. BranTheQuixotic

    Didn’t see this one coming! Still can’t shake the impression that this is going to end very badly for at least one of them. Probably Billie.

    1. imperator

      I’m electing to be an optimist here. This is where Ruth bares her soul to Billie, they achieve eternal sisterhood, or girl bro-therhood. Ruth becomes Billie’s special friend, the only friend that can give Billie her baths.

      1. hmrc4evr

        Or Ruth reveals that she is secretly a Pony lover and is there to bring Billie into the fold.

        Humm…what do you call a female MLP fan since ‘brony’ isn’t quite right in this case?

        1. Raoullefere

          It’s my understanding that ‘girl’ is considered the apt term. ‘Brony’ only exists to point out the perceived oddity of male pony-lovers.

          Er, you know what I mean.

        2. Ziaheart

          … Does that mean that I am not a girl?

        3. begbert2

          That’s correct.

          There’s a reason My Little Pony has been popular with females since its first incarnation: your choice is to like it or lose your gender identification.

        4. Petre Pan

          Wow.

        5. Audiophillie

          Some have taken to calling them “Pegasisters”, though most people agree that “brony” pretty much encompasses the whole of the teenage/adult fanbase and that it’s not gender specific.

        6. HeatPhoenix

          Pegasister.

          Don’t ask.

  24. Batman1016

    As the Joker once said, “NEVER give them what they expect!!”

  25. shoeboxjeddy

    Yeah… RAs in a THINKING school don’t get Master Keys just handed out like this. Instead, you have access to one BUT you have to document why you checked it out AND 90% of the time you just get the key to the specific room you have a legit reason to enter instead of the horribly abusable Master.

    I’ll forgive it for the sake of this school obviously works however the hell Willis says it does, I just HOPE he knows what a stretch this is. 😛

    1. Perfivale

      It’s not really that big of a stretch for an RA to get a master key, in all seriousness. When I worked for Residence Life at my university, even the night staff who weren’t RA’s often had easy access to one of the master keys in case of emergencies. The only documentation you had to give was the time you took it, so they knew who to come looking for if it went missing.

      1. shoeboxjeddy

        Well, it might not be a stretch but it is stupid beyond belief. The RA can just be super lootin’ during the day when people have class. Oh your game disappeared? Probably your roommate or guests get blamed unless there’s a specific reason to think the RA might have done it. Oh and ha ha co ed dorms where you can just enter people’s locked rooms at will. That’s safe and not ripe for abuse at all! People say too many lawsuits have “ruined” America, but honestly some places are so dumb they haven’t been sued ENOUGH yet.

    2. Alyssa

      I lived in a dorm once where anyone who said they got locked out was handed the master key to get back in… none of the keys had the “do not copy” on them either…

    3. Valdrax

      OTOH, it finally provides solid explanation for how Ruth got Billie’s cheerleader outfit.

  26. Jesse

    She really has no-one to spend time with other than her enemy? That’s pretty friggin’ sad.

    1. Zaxares

      Like, “Watchmen’s Comedian confesses only to his old arch-enemy” sad.

  27. Resne

    If my RA did this, I’d be rather confused. Mainly because I don’t have a TV. Or a liking for beer. Or enmity with him. Or tits.

    1. begbert2

      If my RA did this I’d be confused because I don’t have a liking for beer, or an emnity with him, or tits, or a college dorm room, nor have I ever had an RA.

      Though I do have a TV, rather a nice one, so I suppose it’s not that improbable.

  28. AJBulldis

    I APPROVE! BEST FRIENDS FOREVER! BEST FRIDAY STRIP! WILLIS YOU ARE A GOOD MAN AND I WILL BUY YOU A TACO NEXT TIME YOU’RE IN NYC!

    Sorry, got a bit excited there, but there is something I just LOVE about what just happened.

  29. Gordon Blvd

    you do this to us on a FRIDAY, Mr Willis?
    y u torture? kik

    1. Gordon Blvd

      note to self – dont post so early in the morning because I cant even manage to spell “lol” correctly………………..

      1. Mancuso

        Y U get me saying “kik” out loud and laughing like an idiot over and over again.

        1. begbert2

          Well, wiigii caught on, so…

  30. Gordon Blvd

    you do this to us on a FRIDAY, Mr Willis?
    y u torture? lol

  31. Jimmy

    Ah yes, being buddy buddy through death threats. Surefire way to make friends Ruth (end sarcasm).

  32. BD

    Yeah, I’m not too surprised by this turn of events. Strip away the violence (Ruth is essentially Billie with a little age and filled to the eyebrows with cynicism) and they have alot (roar!) in common.

  33. ik

    This is incredibly suspicious. It is possible that the only point of this is to harrass Billie by making her suspicious, or to put her off guard for later.

    Other possibilities: Be there to see Sal enter via the window, erase photos, get her busted for alchohol, whatever.

  34. Bill Murphy

    Now we just sit and wait for the water to boil…

  35. John Madden

    Well this is unexpected.

  36. Jason

    THEORY: Ruth is drinking with Billie because only Billie knows about Ruth’s illegal drinking habits.

    1. Petre Pan

      Yeah. She’s got no one else to drink with.

      Also, if you add “Todd” onto the “Jason” in your name, then your avatar and your name would both rock together.

  37. Sammael

    I am feeling… warm… and… and… full of… of… positive feelings.

    I hate it.

    1. Wack'd

      Go read today’s Shortpacked!, should fix you right up.

  38. Ray

    “I realize I’ve been a bongo but you are a worthy adversary and this is an olive branch” isn’t creepy until we get to the “If you value your life, don’t ask any questions.” Although, perhaps the latter is only to say “If I have to admit this is an olive branch then my head will explode, so don’t make me say it.”

  39. ProfessorZoot

    All aboard, the USS Ship Biluth is leaving port . . .

    1. Wack'd

      The Seaward?

  40. Jub

    I want them to be friends so badly. SO BADLY D:

  41. Naz

    What’s With the Shortpacked page? It’s all Coded and stuff.

    1. Hopeless Savage

      I was also rather curious about that.

    2. David

      I dunno. I hafta wait for Frumph to get online to take a look at it. I’m not competent for this kind of work. Apologies!

  42. Keulan

    OK, for some reason I can’t view the Shortpacked page for today (or presumably any other day). It’s showing some sort of code or something. Just fyi Willis, something odd going on with that site.

  43. Random New Commenter

    Billie and Ruth should just make out and get it over with.

    THE SHIP HAS BEEN LAUNCHED TOWARDS BONE CITY.

  44. Kiggy

    The hell?

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