Penises drawn on whiteboards last week, on everyone’s door. This dorm is afraid of me. I have seen it’s true face. The hallways are extended gutters and the gutters are full of blood and when the drains finally scab over, all the vermin will drown. The accumulated filth of all their sex and fun-having will foam up about their waists and all the lesbians and alcoholics will look up and shout “Save us!”…
…and I’ll look down, and whisper “no.”
MrSirk
Wow! It’s almost creepy how accurate that could be.
That Damn Rat
But comforting to know Mary will get disintegrated in the end
Put a camera in her hands then maybe. Knowing something and having evidence of it are two different things. Still we don’t really know Mary’s credibility. Some of the cast don’t like her, but she could have an amazing relationship with the faculty and be a flipping honor student. It remains to be seen what actual damage she’s capable of with just her word. I imagine she could at least get a teacher down there if she complained enough.
Itama
“Professor Bean! I need you to help me end the HORRIBLE atrocities going on at clark wing!”
Discussion (209) - “Far”
otusasio451
Beware the smile of Mary. It can only be bad.
sps48
Beware the facepalm of Ruth
JessWitt
Mary knows that facepalm all too well.
hovocraft
especially when that face palm has a dick drawn on it in permanent marker
DudeMyDadOwnsADealership
Exactly. Even if she didn’t know, when people like her smile, outside of a quick sarcastic emote, at you, it’s means something wicked this way comes…
Dreadhawk177
I wonder why Mary was smiling…
Plasma Mongoose
Cos she has dirt on someone, namely Billie and Ruth.
-Sentinel-
Because this confirmed her belief that she was a beacon of virtue in a world of sin.
Devon
Mary’s Journal. November 8th, 2014:
Penises drawn on whiteboards last week, on everyone’s door. This dorm is afraid of me. I have seen it’s true face. The hallways are extended gutters and the gutters are full of blood and when the drains finally scab over, all the vermin will drown. The accumulated filth of all their sex and fun-having will foam up about their waists and all the lesbians and alcoholics will look up and shout “Save us!”…
…and I’ll look down, and whisper “no.”
MrSirk
Wow! It’s almost creepy how accurate that could be.
That Damn Rat
But comforting to know Mary will get disintegrated in the end
Yotsuyasan
No. Don’t do that, don’t… just don’t… I actually [I]like[/I] Rorschach. Mary, on the other hand, can die.
Mary should die.
sps48
I dunno if I likeRorschact, but I have a lot of respect for the character.
fogel
Mary delenda est
Lurlock
That sounds more like Buckets of Blood Guy. Has he appeared in the Dumbiverse yet? Trying to think where he’d fit in…
pyrophobia
THIS.
Raye the Magic Lesbian
Wow. Did you look that quote up to modify it for this occasion or did you have it memorized already? I’m not sure which would impress me more.
JCfromNC
I believe she probably has thoughts a lot like Seymour’s.
Cthulhu's Intern
Every time Mary smiles, a puppy dies.
Dean
Because Mary killed it.
Very Good Karma
I came from Reddit, and for a moment I thought this comment was the first reply because it had been voted up to here.
I would totally upvote this, if it had a little upvote arrow.
Roborat
Did she use science?
Michael Lanting
Do you have cause and effect right? It could be “Every time a puppy dies, Mary smiles” instead.
Cthulhu's Intern
It’s both.
Itama
a perpetual loop of endless smiling puppy death.
Cthulhu's Intern
Oh, I assure you. The puppies are NOT smiling when they die. That would imply they die happy. They suffer.
Itama
i prefer to imagine that mary’s smiles are so potent that they force themselvetims, even as they die from agonizing internal ruptures.
Itama
huh. must have gotten the coding wrong.
Opus the Poet
No, it was suitably horrifying.
Dragon
Jesus, that’s disturbing.
Itama
on a slightly separate note, that is totally my next gravitar.
Dean
It’s both, Mary’s smile is like Joker poison.
Ray Radlein
Endless Smiling Puppy Death is the name of my new babygoth band
gwalla
Baby Goth? Is that the new fad after Baby Mozart?
gwalla
All playing Bauhaus to infants in hopes that it’ll make them good at school later.
Raye the Magic Lesbian
Sounds more like America’s answer to BABYMETAL. Who are completely awesome. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cK3NMZAUKGw
nothri
She and Seto Kiba should get together.
Regalli
“We are both so screwed.”
jy3
“And not the fun way, either. At least, no longer only the fun way.”
Stephen Bierce
*plays “Moses Supposes” on the Muzak*
Doctor_Who
Mary suspects
That her floormates have sex
But Mary suspects
And for once is corrects
Yotomoe
Mary Suspects
That sex is vexed
As Mary suspects the sex to be.
Jen Aside
you asked for it ^_^
Doctor_Who
I’ve always loved that short.
AgentKeen
yesssssss….
I love that cute ghost.
Paradox
The best short I’ve ever seen. 🙂
Gadgeteer Smashwidget
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa this is so adorable is there more of this little ghostie
Jen Aside
“SHE KNOWS… KILL HER”
“Ya don’t have to ask me twice!”
Plasma Mongoose
Ass Queen? Mary is lucky to be an Ass Knave.
Dreadhawk177
That video has scarred me.
Plasma Mongoose
*hehe*
liahansen
tell that to this bammin’ slammin’ bootylicious first panel: http://www.dumbingofage.com/2012/comic/book-3/01-if-the-shoes-split/room/
Doctor_Who
Looks flatter than month old soda to me.
liahansen
yeah, it’s the only picture of her from the back I could find.
Wack'd
Oh yeah, look at that curved line, so hot
Romanticide
My thoughts exactly
MrSirk
How Mary became an assqueen?…BAM! That’s a slipshine!
nothri
All hail Mary, Queen of the Donkeys!
A5PECT
Yeah. I’d expect the term “assqueen” to have more positive connotations in Willis’ writing.
Poskie
Silly Billie, you don’t need clothes when you’re with Ruth.
Plasma Mongoose
She does when she leave the room afterwards.
nothri
I for one have no problem with her forgoing those, actually. Then again that’s pretty much my stance on any attractive female anywhere, so…
Yotomoe
Billie, I must be able to see at least 3 CM of cleavage whenever we’re talking. That is the parameter for our arrangement.
MrSirk
Oh no! Mary knows! Too bad she has no proof and most people hate her.
Cthulhu's Intern
Your Gravatar makes your comment amusing. Like Mary is calling herself out.
3oranges
It’s really not fair Mary is one of the avatars, but at least nobody is stuck with Blaine.
Itama
I am so making a Blaine avatar now.
I blame you 3oranges.
ThisIsSoLemons
Mary hates everyone. ESPECIALLY Mary.
atomiksphinx77
Proof?
http://www.dumbingofage.com/2014/comic/book-5/01-when-somebody-loved-me/clear/
MrSirk
Put a camera in her hands then maybe. Knowing something and having evidence of it are two different things. Still we don’t really know Mary’s credibility. Some of the cast don’t like her, but she could have an amazing relationship with the faculty and be a flipping honor student. It remains to be seen what actual damage she’s capable of with just her word. I imagine she could at least get a teacher down there if she complained enough.
Itama
“Professor Bean! I need you to help me end the HORRIBLE atrocities going on at clark wing!”
Hoboturtle