168

JOYCE DRESSES EVERYONE TODAY
Posted on February 23, 2014 by David M Willis

168 thoughts on “JOYCE DRESSES EVERYONE TODAY”

  1. Jen Aside

    That… sure is a shirt

    1. Ahighfunctioningsociopath

      Over clothes

  2. Mr. Random

    She makes everything look good.

    1. Mr. Random

      “Ah make everythin’ look good.”

      1. AgentKeen

        “You make everything look good…
        N-not that I was looking, or that woman should be defined by looks!
        OH GOD, I’M CHEATING ON AMA– I mean, my girlfriend who totally doesn’t have a secret identity…”

        1. ridtom

          Pull it together man!!!

        2. Badeyes

          those two avatars were perfect for the internal conflict that is Danny

        3. nothri

          Agreed.

        4. Riku

          Now kiss you two

        5. TDangerously

          You WOULD say that, Joe.

        6. No

          But Dina wouldn’t say that. :C

        7. TDangerously

          For some reason I am very attracted to you, would you like to grab a drink sometime?

        8. Nightsbridge

          Dina nooooo

        9. nothri

          Just remember Mike, the safeword is “No punch”

        10. No

          That depends. Got a nickel?

        11. hexalm

          Shut up, Danny! You’re out of your element!

      2. Arkantos

        “Oh Yeaaaaah.”

  3. David Herbert

    Either it doesn’t fit properly or she doesn’t give a damn.

    1. Maveric1984

      I think she just hasn’t finished buttoning it up.

      1. Taigan

        I think she’s buttoned it as much as she’s gonna.

  4. timemonkey

    Huh, I think I just gained some respect for Sal for just accepting the nice gesture and rolling with it.

    1. John

      And without compromising her own style in the doing!

      1. Yotomoe

        The amount of fucks she gives are abysmal.

        1. PureMajora

          I think we saw from the last comic that she has plenty of fucks she’s willing to give.

        2. Zephyr, God of the West Wind

          😉

      2. JessWitt

        Sal can make anything work. Remember her schoolgirl outfit?

        1. saltchocolate

          Anything.

      3. ninja_jesus

        Compromising her style? That shirt definitely looks her style.

  5. Porglezomp

    Is she going to keep that DS?

    1. Pat

      She doesn’t have a charger.

      1. Andrew Hull

        When I was your age, we didn’t have chargers. We used regular batteries! Dozens and dozens of AA batteries!

        And we had to walk up hill to the store both ways to get them…

  6. Tom Speelman

    I’m just wondering where Sal put that DS…

    1. Sageress

      Pocket?????

      1. carl320

        She rolled it into a cigarette.

        1. Yotomoe

          She needs Mario Kart any way she can get it. Smoke it. Inject it into her bloodstream. ANY WAY.

      2. vlademir1

        Pocket? Why yes, that is a place she could have put a DS…

    2. Maveric1984

      …you don’t want to know…

    3. Aizat

      Down her Shorts? Hey, that’s what the DS stands for in some circles.

    4. Ahighfunctioningsociopath

      Hammerspace

    5. Mr K

      Bra.

      1. JJ

        Its formal name is Victoria’s Secret Compartment. Check TVTropes for reference.

        … we will still be here when you emerge one week later.

        1. Darchias

          Ha! I have avoided your ruse. You should of linked to the appropriate page if you wished to entrap anyone!

        2. Laurel Raven

          The problem with that is when you go to get the link, you yourself will be trapped first; so, it will be a while before anyone can post that link.

    6. Shade

      Less imaginative answer, but it’s apparently flat so just put it down.

  7. Plasma Mongoose

    At least Joyce half-succeeded in dressing up Sal.

    1. nothri

      I see you have selected that-whose-name-shall-not-be-spoken as your gravatar.

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        If you mean UC-tan then yes, yes I did. ^_^

        1. C.

          We can call her Carla now.

    2. Raye J

      I think you mean succeeded in half-dressing Sal

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        Yeah, I meant that. 😀

  8. Wonder Wig

    She’s like a sexy candy cane.

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      Candy cane is too sticky to be used that way.

      1. nothri

        And there goes another image I didn’t needed in my brain. THANKS, Mongoose. As always.

        1. nothri

          didn’t needed……sigh. More sacrifices to the grammar demons.

        2. Tom Speelman

          ..AND I just got that. Pardon me while I cringe.

        3. Drunken Nordmann

          Lucky me, the neural connections needed to automatically project these images burned out years ago. 🙂

  9. nothri

    Joyce you have managed to become more adorable and more creepy all at the same time. This is a thing I dd not think was possible, and yet here we are.

    1. nothri

      Also I’m not sure if Billie was looking out for Sal or Joyce in panel three.

      Panel four can obviously be explained if one assumes that Sal’s awesome is like radiation that leeches into everything that makes skin to skin contact with Sal. Unfortunately, she’s not into Billie or Joyce, so no hope there. Danny, on the other hand…

      1. vlademir1

        Then in what way was Jason made awesome?

        1. nothri

          An excellent question. My hypothesis is that Jason radiates a kind of “anti-awesome” that infects everything around him in a equal and opposing way to Sal’s field of awesome. The two fields cancel each other out when coming into close contact.

        2. Mr. Random

          So…. Opposites attract.

        3. Plasma Mongoose

          So does that make Sal MC Kat or Paula Abdul?

        4. Alden

          He already wears a bow tie, so it’s difficult to say.

        5. Yotsuyasan

          But… Bowties are cool!

        6. Opus the Poet

          But he doesn’t wear a fez.

        7. arank11

          Or a stetson

    2. Nym

      Joyce dresses everyone today!

  10. Kernanator

    Clearly Sal has superspeed.

  11. Yotomoe

    She’s not asking how Sal managed to put those clothes on so fast. She’s asking how sal managed to make them look so badass.

  12. Ben

    Clearly, Sal is just that fiiiiiiiiine.

  13. Ikaru

    I am loving this scene.

  14. Nym

    Sal looks amazing in whatever she wants.

    Sal’s thoughts on Mario Kart are mine on the first Rainbow Road.

    1. Yotomoe

      Every Rainbow Road pisses me off in a profound way. I’ve got shit handling in Mario Kart in the first place.

      1. Aizat

        Hell, I’m crap in most racing games….except maybe Daytona…but only if on PC.

  15. arank11

    Joyce’s cuteness, Sal’s coolness, and Billie’s pissed-offness all in one comic. I have high hopes for this storyline

  16. Reltzik

    …. a crime against what, Billie?

    No, really, narrow it down for me. I’m having trouble thinking of something that this ISN’T a crime against.

    1. Aizat

      Yeah, that shirt is not a crime…now, pants that show your butt crack, now that’s a crime.

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        Literally in some counties.

        1. ninja_jesus

          Countries, even.

        2. arank11

          Just imagine living in those places… Not a single plumber for miles…

  17. newllend

    Apparently she makes everything look cool how? Your just born with it.

    1. nothri

      Or maybe its Maybelline.

      1. saltchocolate

        Have an internet, nothri!

  18. Aizat

    I’ll say this…Sal can make anything look good.

    1. John

      Sal can make nothing look good, too!

      Or at least nothing but pants and gloves.

  19. Kladeos

    Sal’s adorable.

  20. Idon'tcarenomore

    Funny, that doesn’t look the way Joyce it would on Sal, of that I am sure.
    Sal’s got her own style, no matter what it is. And a damn fast way of getting in or out of her clothes.
    Shares that with Joyce anyway.

  21. Yotomoe

    Joyce, you have too much money for a college student. I don’t even buy myself clothes (except at conventions).

  22. Idon'tcarenomore

    sigh no edit…read “…the way Joyce thought it would”’

  23. Pyr05

    Sal is so hot, she uses her fingertip as a lighter!

    1. Aizat

      Sal is so hot that water turns to vapor just being in close proximity to her.

      1. TC

        Sal is so hot, her radiation emissivity is ≈ 1 with a 5% margin of experimental error.

  24. Jackson

    Joyce Dresses Everyone Today, for sufficiently “Sal and not Sarah so basically just Sal” values of “everyone.”

    1. saltchocolate

      She did plan Sarah’s clothes, anyway. Let’s just call it “Joyce Dresses Everyone (Black) Today.” Jacob, look out!

      1. PureMajora

        You forget that Joyce also dressed herself today!

        1. Drunken Nordmann

          Maybe Joyce’s black – so black, her skin colour’s inverted. oO

  25. Aizat

    You know what’s the difference between Billie and Sal? Sal can actually make that look good.

  26. LiaHansen

    Does Billie’s expression in the last panel remind anyone else of old-timey Mickey Mouse?

  27. Aizat

    Joyce looks adorable in that sweater…wow, that’s something I never thought I say today…adorable.

  28. Mr K

    No wonder Billie is totally in lesbians with Sal. Pity Sal doesn’t seem to share the affection.

    1. King_Crimson

      i thought Billie was totally in lesbians with Ruth though

      1. John

        I’ve concluded that it explains a lot of Billie’s behaviour if you just assume that she’s tsundere for everybody.

        1. DEG1377

          winning gravatar for this, btw

  29. Plasma Mongoose

    I hope that in the near future there will be a comic titled JOYCE UNDRESSES EVERYONE TONIGHT.

    1. nothri

      Normal or slipshine?

      1. Yotomoe

        First one then continued on the other.

    2. JAD

      That would be adorable, being Joyce. If it was Joe, on the other hand…

      Also, there were already images of Joyce being dressed by Billie, but how about Sal dressing everyone today?

      Willis, I think you can make either an “otherworlds” or a couple of posters with the *someone* dressing everyone today theme…

      1. Jackson

        Dressing of Age.

        1. RandomRedMage

          Dumbing of Dress

        2. JAD

          Well, simply “X dresses everyone today” works for me… imagine how they all would look if the person in charge were Dina… or Jason! I seriously advocate that series of drawings. You know, as a fan.

  30. Badeyes

    Now all they need is a geeky girl and they’ve got a band.

    1. Mr K

      Amber should appear. Although with Sal around that could end badly.

      1. Space Robot 5

        Dina on drums!

      2. ninja_jesus

        Inner-band conflict already, and they haven’t even formed yet. The beginning of something beautiful.

    2. John

      Dorothy?

  31. JessWitt

    See, Joyce is the new Rachel Zoe. Can’t wait to see who she’ll dress next. Heck, just try and dress Mike up, that’d be a hoot.

  32. Ancestral Hamster

    Now if only Sal would rebel against the social convention of wearing clothes and be naked for the rest of DoA’s existence.

    1. tinfoil theory

      She is always naked, which is why clothes look so good on her.
      Other people dress in clothes. Sal merely wears them.

  33. Carlos

    What’s this? Non edgy clothing that would make me look lame or, at the very least, totally average? This will never do. FIRING BAD ASS CLOTHES BEAM!

  34. Emoroffle

    Sal has a secret stash of Mentos somewhere. Sexy Mentos.

    1. John

      She should’ve let Billie in on the secret before her encounter with Ruth last night.

      1. Emoroffle

        Sadly I don’t think even “Plot Device Mentos” could have saved her from that. She has to do things the hard way and fix what went wrong. No candy will help her out of this.

  35. King_Crimson

    it’s confirmed. Sal is a Coolness Wizard.

  36. saltchocolate

    I can’t wait for Jason to see her in that shirt!

  37. RED

    Pretty sure Sal looks hot in anything

  38. licoricepencil

    Now I want to know how Joyce would wear that top. I’m guessing under a sweater vest.

    1. John

      Under a sweater vest. Without washing it first. Periodically, she’ll bend her neck and sniff her collar, and think, ‘Mmm, cigarette smoke and Sal’s shampoo. Sooooo cool.’ A little voice in the back of her mind will add, ‘And sooo hot,’ but she’ll pretend like she didn’t hear it.

  39. Skizz

    Words can’t describe how much I love this strip.

  40. Papa Oleg

    I am most surprised nobody has made Sal’s face in panel one a gravatar.

    1. DEG1377

      I am literally doing that as I type, just wanted to read the comments first and see if anyone else had done so already.

      1. DEG1377

        Now to see if I did it right…

        1. Drunken Nordmann

          It looks like you’re frowning at your comments – always frowning.

        2. Curacaobill

          She’s judging Yoooooou….

        3. Drunken Nordmann

          And you’re checking out your nickname.

        4. Zephyr, God of the West Wind

          and you are staring out of the computer screen at everyone and everything. Stop it, it’s creepy. 😀

        5. Drunken Nordmann

          Heh.

        6. Arkantos

          Also your avatar fits your name, even if it’s technically Darwin Titan.

        7. Drunken Nordmann

          The funny thing is, I called him Titan Darwin before he got his fan nickname. 😀

        8. Curacaobill

          Hey what can I say? It’s a sexy nickname.

  41. rajit

    I am in the minority and still don’t like the top on Sal *runs*

    But a badass ponytail could make it work.

    1. madd

      Yeah. The shirt is just like whatever.

  42. T Campbell

    Sal: “Ah hate this thing more than anything an’ I gotta have more.”

    Billie: “Wow, that’s just how, um, some people feel about booze! Ha ha ha” [cries]

    1. Zephyr, God of the West Wind

      That… that is almost as sad as the “Jurassic Park” episode of Futurama.

  43. Hors Service

    Sal, first panel, looks a bit like *groink* 🙂

  44. beege

    We’ve discovered Joyce’s superpower.

  45. Arkantos

    So… Sal is Rachel from Animorphs. Good to know.

    1. ninja_jesus

      I could hug you right now. I loved the Animorphs series.

  46. RandomRedMage

    I thinks Sal actually doesn’t give a damn about what she wears. But the shirt does actually look pretty good on her. o.O so.. points for Joyce I guess.

    1. shadowcell

      but finding Sal something to look good in is, like, Dressing People – Beginner Mode

      1. RandomRedMage

        Well Joyce IS a beginner?

  47. Dude

    So was Billy asking how she can be hot in Joyce’s clothing or how she could get dressed so fast? They both impressed me.

    1. Regalli

      Seriously. And how Joyce could so easily convince her to wear a pink and orange button-down which, while cute, is admittedly not Sal’s usual style.

  48. RK

    But now Joyce’s shirt is going to smell like cigarette smoke :c

    1. RK

      Damn it, I keep forgetting I have a Danny gravatar that Dans up my every word.

      1. Curacaobill

        It’s the curse of the danitar! Flee while you can!

  49. Alexx

    Hurry Sal, slap some sexy on and lets GO!

  50. Kafloo

    And suddenly Sal has sunglasses. Seems appropriate.

  51. John Madden

    Any version of Mario Kart can be maddening.

    1. Drunken Nordmann

      Try playing it on the Wii. Pure madness.

      1. Curacaobill

        Rainbow road. Nuff said

        1. Drunken Nordmann

          If you play with friends or family, it can be fun – as long as you have a normal controller. Sometimes, I miss the N64.

  52. Tenn

    Sal just became a gamer.

  53. oldFart

    Thanks to this comic, I now know what a Nintendo (3)DS is when I see one in public. After reading the expressions of frustration, both in the comments and from Sal, I shall not be joining you in playing these “video game” amusments. If I want to be frustrated, I’ll try learning a decades-old chord melody solo on my 1974 guitar that I got new. I’ve got a book full of ’em, and I might download more. If I’m going to suffer, at least I can suffer for art!

  54. Hoboturtle

    Before these last two comics, I might’ve said it was Joyce or Dina. Maybe even Amber. But this tears it.

    Sal IS best character.

  55. maycroft

    Fance up!

  56. Colineo

    Can someone please make Sal’s grump face an avatar?

  57. Nevermaker

    Y’know what the difference is between you’n me? Ah make this look GOOD.

  58. DarkoNeko

    The glasses are a nice addition.

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