Escapees
Posted on April 28, 2020 by David M Willis
The Dumbing of Age Book 9 Kickstarter has funded! And we have two more magnets, Mandy and Grace, unlocked! And we've extended Saturday/Sunday strip updates for another year! Not a bad first day, phew.  Just... 29 left to go. Next up, free Sarah character magnets for everyone getting snailmailed something!

158 thoughts on “Escapees”

  1. Ana Chronistic

    need to transfer to the School of Hard Knocks

    1. Ana Chronistic

      just realized Dinobot shirt is appropriate

      1. Rose by Any Other Name

        I just realized that Dotty moved FAST. Compare panel 1 location to panel 5 where she’s gotten behind Ethan.

        1. Lars

          Same goes for Joyce and Dina. Panel 3: The counter between them an Henchman #2 and #3. Panel 5: Up close and personal.

      2. Jeremy Betts

        Perhaps I simply haven’t noticed before, but are Dina’s pants actually a dino head ? That’s not hilarious and concerning.

        1. Bicycle Bill

          Sure looks like it, and the two legs are jaws.

    2. Needfuldoer

      These mooks are the type who will put “school of hard knocks” as their education on their social media profiles.

  2. BBCC

    I mean, there’s still time. His throat’s right there, nothing stopping you.

    Sarah, you’ve got scissors.

    AG’s got her own ideas too.

    Yeah, my money’s still on these kids.

    1. Lawzlo

      Are you saying Dina should Roadhouse him?

      1. BBCC

        I dunno what that means but if it means she throat punches him sure.

        1. Felix

          A punch thrown so that the arm comes around and hits the opponent side-on.

        2. BarerMender

          I thought that was a roundhouse.

        3. Delicious Taffy

          That’s a business based around selling various cuts of meat that have been cooked in particular ways, often marketed toward sports-enjoying males roughly your dad’s age.

        4. maarvarq

          Roadhousing someone should mean ripping their throat out with your bare hands. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Road_House_%281989_film%29

        5. Ryek Hvek

          is it Time to Not be Nice yet ??

  3. timemonkey

    Ethan will shield you with his manly body!

    1. Deanatay

      If by ‘manly’ you mean ‘large but flabby and ineffectual in a fight because he’s a TOTAL nerd’, then yes.

      1. timemonkey

        He’s at an age where being atotal nerd won’t necessarily mean he’s flubby. He’s not like Amber and glued to her computer all the time.

        1. SillyGoose

          Also yes, being flabby and ineffectual in fighting is definitely a valid kind of manly.

  4. Yumi

    How are this many people willing to get onboard with this cuckoo bananas plan

    1. Yotomoe

      They were promised college credit. And As on their midterms.

      1. Some1

        Well shit, that’d convince me.

      2. Zach

        ಠ_ಠ I would do much worse.

      3. Andy

        They heard that college rumor that you get all A’s for the year if your roomie dies and somehow extrapolated to get that they got all A’s if they killed someone

    2. Sirksome

      They all have something in common. They got beat up by a masked woman and are willing to commit as many felonies as necessary to regain their toxic sense of masculinity! Or maybe Blaine just pays really well. Probably a combination of both.

      1. ninja_jesus

        I doubt Blaine would pay ANYTHING to these punks, he’d sooner run and have them charged with Toedad’s assault.

        1. SuperZero

          But he could offer to pay really well, and that’s just as effective. Once.

      2. DudeMyDadOwnsaDealership

        I think I noticed the Teedle Triplets among the bunch. Figuring their ‘bro’ was a serial rapist that they sought to cover for, they’re technically already criminals. The the jocks who were ready to wail on Danny for kicks a while ago apparently think it’ll “all work out somehow” or something. The rest may already been involved with meth labs or something, or are just as misguided as the jocks…

        1. thejeff

          Technically I think the Bros would have been in the clear before now – it would be difficult to prove they knew Ryan was a rapist and they just tried to protect him from the obviously disturbed costumed lady.

          But yeah, Blaine sought out idiots who’d had past clashes with Amazi-Girl. I think some of them were among the group that AG and Sal beat up who were going to attack other women who’d accused Ryan. Wise choices aren’t really their thing.

        2. temperaryobsessor

          Honestly before now I thought they were just idiots who thought Ryan was less evil than he was. Now I’m thinking otherwise.

        3. DudeMyDadOwnsaDealership

          Bill Watterson once said “80% of ignorance is willful.” I don’t believe they cared about anything beyond the “He’s our bro!” Freudian Excuse myself…

        4. thejeff

          On the other, in the previous encounter, some girl dressed as a superhero attacked their friend and called out wild accusations with no evidence. It’s not really surprising they jumped in.

          On the gripping hand, they were friends with Ryan, who’s pretty damn skeevy, so they’re suspicious just on those grounds.

        5. SillyGoose

          Could he have found the info on AG-haters on her USB stick?

        6. thejeff

          Maybe, though I’m more inclined to suspect he’s been in touch with Ryan.

    3. Dave

      Sounded earlier like he promised them all a chance to beat up Amazi-Girl. They are probably also willing to beat up random people for kicks.

  5. clif

    Walky is Satan confirmed by word of God.

    Or something like that.

    (Joyce would agree)

  6. Yotomoe

    If you were fast enough, how many guys could you reasonably kick in the balls before they stop letting that happen. Like there’s an element of surprise to be sure but if your fast enough I think you could take out a whole group.

    1. Doctor_Who

      If they all acted in tandem, quite a few.

      1. Yotomoe

        Really only an option for Walky, Dina and Joyce at the moment. Maybe Sarah?

    2. Mark

      Not many because kicks arn’t that fast (in comparison to a punch) especially if untrained plus they want to kick probably saw the other guy get nailed in the christmas crackers so they’ll be wary

      1. Ray Radlein

        However, you could probably kick them all pretty hard in the shins (or even kneecaps) instead while they were moving to protect their groins

        1. Mark

          Alternatively they hit you because they’re now expecting it

  7. Kyrik Michalowski

    And now Becky busts in with her bodyguards and saves the day. Or Amber busts in and somehow has the energy to fight off what appears to be 4 thugs. Or something else unbelievable happens, right?

    Guys?

    1. tim gueguen

      Carla will save the day in her powered armour. We’re way overdue for a Carla appearance, as she’d tell you if you asked her.

      1. NinjaNick

        Yes, we need Sal, Carla, Marcie, Ruth, Billie, and A-G. The whole ninja girl gang to take out the blue masked creeps.

        1. NinjaNick

          Plus Becky.

        2. Slartibeast Button, BIA

          Becky is the one with the headset back in the Command Center.

        3. Slartibeast Button, BIA

          Ruth dual-wielding bloody femurs.

        4. Geneseepaws

          Ruth walks in holding a femur in her right hand.
          Ruth:“Alllll-righty, then! It’s show time!”
          Tweedle1: Hhh-hey, Wh-where’s Jimmy?
          Ruth moves to his left side, now holding two femurs.
          Ruth: “Gotta get ‘em all!”

      2. clif

        Additionally there is a window or door to the outside just behind Dorothy. There are 5 of them and 4 of the henchgoons so simply heading at top speed in different directions insures one isn’t followed. Joyce is standing in front of a drawer with knives while Sarah is armed with scissors. There are a ton of possibilities.

        1. King Daniel

          As we saw yesterday, it’s a window behind a kitchen counter – the counter may be an impediment to rapid egress through that route.

      3. Deanatay

        Carla: You know what this scene needs? Me. A lot more Me. And guess what? You got me. And THAT’s a Whole Lotta Me!

  8. Suet

    The downside to Joyce only volunteering to fight

    6 v 5, this should’ve been a pyrrhic win

  9. Rose by Any Other Name

    … those pinkish things look like glass doors. Go through them. Or smash them and then go through them. Being flanked is not a good idea – make them follow you and set the battlefield to your advantage.

    1. King Daniel

      We saw that they were kitchen windows yesterday. (And there’s a counter beneath that they’d need to scramble across to even get to the window.)

  10. Dr. T

    I bet Blaine wasn’t even planning on paying a single one of those goons, but then again several look to be Ryan’s friends. Screw them if they were going to get stiffed.

    1. bryy

      Oh lord, these ARE probably all of Ryan’s friends.

      1. BigDogLittleCat

        At least three of them are: Taylor, Tyler, and the guy Joyce got yesterday.

        1. BBCC

          So are the guys in red. They were going to break into what they thought was the house of one of Ryan’s victims. Thankfully it was one of AG’s fake addresses and she and Sal stopped them.

        2. Dr. T

          I forgot about that incident. I took them for Beef’s friends who beat up Danny. Still can be, but Willis’ art has improved enough over the years that I cannot be certain that they are the same people.

        3. BBCC

          They are, I’m 99.99% sure.

        4. Bicycle Bill

          Taylor, Tyler, and Dawson (the guy who Joyce kneed in the ‘nads) were the three interns who met Robin at the airport in the “It All Returns” chapter.  Then, later in the same story line, we learned that they were friends with Ryan the Roofie-man when they came to his aid during his scuffle with Amazi-Girl at the campaign rally in the Hall of Murals at the IU Auditorium, only to end up getting clobbered by Amazi-Girl (with a little assist from Sal).

          So now we’ve got five, plus the despicable dads.

        5. Dr. T

          Since we established that we are talking about a lot of Ryan’s friends, we still have the chin-beardo that tore Sal’s jacket as he tried to break into the house of one of Ryan’s potential victims that allegedly came forward.

      2. BigDogLittleCat

        At least three of them are: Taylor, Tyler, and the guy Joyce got yesterday.

      3. NinjaNick

        All is right.

      4. Dr. T

        Taylor, Tyler, and Dawson (the one holding his nads at the moment but should still be tagged as his feet are clearly visible) definitely ARE Ryan’s friends. The two behind Dorothy aren’t tagged but look to be Beef’s friends who got beaten up in Amazi-Girl’s first appearance (they were beating up Danny because he was sad about getting dumped by Dorothy, so they opted to make his night worse).

        1. Sombrero

          Biff is still not visible. If and when he appears then you know you are deep in your knees in DYW territory.

  11. Zach

    The henchmen are all so young and relaxed, with the smiles, my mind insists they are all having a pajama party with chilled night masks and pinstriped jammies, and our freshmen are all just kind off put of.
    Like, is it a sex thing? It is a sausage fest.
    Also explains Ethan’s face in that last panel.

  12. Sirksome

    Okay there are like waaay too many guys in on this kidnapping scheme. Really? And Blaine’s paying all of them? Although probably not upfront right? I kinda don’t know who is dumber here between them.

    1. Segnosaur

      Other posts have pointed out that many/most of these are people that have been on the wrong end of an Amazigirl beat down (from their association with stabby mcscarface. ) So it is possible blaine is not paying anything and they are doing this for revenge.

      1. inqntrol

        They are still stupid doing these just for petty revenge, Blaine can use them as scapegoats to cover his tracks if things go south, which already have.

        1. Regalli

          I maintain that no one involved with this plan could tell the difference between their ass and a hole in the ground.

        2. Slartibeast Button, BIA

          “As the Holy Book says in the Book of Holes, Chapter 1: ‘And they knew not their holes, from an ass, on the ground.'”

    2. Slartibeast Button, BIA

      None of these guys will turn state’s evidence against the others on a mass murder charge? (If it isn’t mass murder, then there are victim witnesses too.)

      What the hell are these guys thinking?

      (Yes, I am assuming facts not in evidence.)

  13. Rabid Rabbit

    First panel dude brought a baseball bat.

    Bad idea. Sarah will be getting hold of that, and then God have mercy on their non-existent souls.

    Oh, wait. God sent Sarah. The Old Testament one.

    They’re screwed.

    1. SuperZero

      Old Testament Sarah is not particularly known for her skills with a bat?

      1. BBCC

        https://www.dumbingofage.com/2011/comic/book-1/06-yesterday-was-thursday/oldtestament/

        It’s a reference to this.

        1. Regalli

          I didn’t mention it the other day in my list-off of Iconic Willis Badass Moments by character because it’s such an obvious one I felt it went without saying, but that is easily one of my defining Sarah strips.

          Best of luck, Dawson and interchangeable clones! Hope you enjoy learning a bit more about what your previous supervillain of choice went through, first hand!

        2. abysswatcher1993

          Sarah will do to them what the wolf guy from BNA did to a deer guy, but with their femurs. I hope there’s still femurs to break when Ruth gets there.

        3. Geneseepaws

          I don’t think DYW ever established if Ruth only collects intact femurs to remove, or will find a broken femur acceptable.

    2. Savail

      That was my first thought, too: “Oh goodie! A weapon for Sarah to go Old Testament on them with!”

      1. Bicycle Bill

        If Sarah REALLY wanted to go Old Testament on them, she’d rip Blaine’s head off and smite them with the jawbone of an ass.

  14. Koms

    I’m so scared. I wish Dina hadn’t tied up her hands. Ethan and Dorothy’s feet are still tied. I’m very afraid.

    1. Sirksome

      I wouldn’t be. These guys have been beaten multiple times by AG and Sal while having a greater numbers advantage. I know Sal and AG are booked as basically mma fighters comparatively but these guys are also just really bad at fighting. Like maybe they could beat up Walky or Dina in a 2v1 and her hands are tied but the odds are way more even than that.

      1. SuperZero

        Dina has fought a supervillain. She did lose, of course, but she had an impact. Only she, Joyce, and Sarah have been in a fight that we know of.

  15. NinjaNick

    Anyone got knives? Or free legs to roundhouse kick those thugs in the nuts? These guys aren’t that tough.

    1. Yotomoe

      To be fair nobody’s all that tough after a kick to the nads.

      1. SuperZero

        It is absolutely possible to resist pain and keep focused in a dangerous situation.
        And also to block or evade kicks.

  16. synnerman

    Where in the hell did Blaine find all of the young misanthropes willing to actually commit crime in meatspace?

    1. ninja_jesus

      From the last conservative DeSanto rally months ago maybe

      1. King Daniel

        In-universe it was hardly even weeks ago.

        1. ninja_jesus

          Well there we go. I knew the DeSanto “heel-face turn” was pretty recent.

        2. SuperZero

          She’s still pretty bad, even if she is an ally in certain situations.

        3. Needfuldoer

          Yup. The DeSanto rally was overnight between October 3rd and 4th, across the end of ‘It All Returns’ and the beginning of ‘Glower Vacuum’.

          I think the current chapter, ‘When it Crumbles’, should fall on Wednesday, October 20th.

          There was a time jump in between, but we only skipped the 7th and 8th. (It was after Amber made mincemeat of Ryan.)

    2. NinjaNick

      I guess he used the surplus bailout money to hire the goons, they’re as creepy as a human trafficking ring.

  17. Jess

    I’m worried about Joyce… Those two guys were friends with McDateRape if I remember right…

    1. Dr. T

      They all are….and they were hired by the father of the McDateRape-Cuisinart-master. That sounds like a disaster all the way around.

      1. King Daniel

        …wat?

        1. RacingTurtle

          Dr. T means Amber. She slices, she dices, she even juliennes rapists.

        2. RacingTurtle

          Or rather, to be more accurate, ze means Blaine, the father of the Cuisinart-master.

    2. OtterBoy1

      Oh, it’s them? Dang… I got a case of everyone else in this comic and I can’t tell who people are if they’re wearing a mask.

      1. Bicycle Bill

        Check the shirts.  Taylor, Tyler, and Dawson are wearing the same striped shirts they had when they met Robin De Santo as ‘unpaid interns’ at the airport, and the other two unnamed mooks are wearing the same IU jackets THEY had on when they were going to give Danny a bad time.

        1. abysswatcher1993

          They don’t deserve names, nor masks. They deserve a beating and be hospitalized. I don’t believe in murder. I believe in torture!

        2. Delicious Taffy

          Torture is pretty much pointless and only accomplishes itself.

        3. Needfuldoer

          I hope Beef has enough sense to not get involved in this, but I’m afraid he might be a mini-boss later…

  18. C.T Phipps

    Blaine recruiting a bunch of teenagers tells me that he doesn’t actually have any mob ties and probably just pretends to be a gangster just like he’s pretending now to be a supervillain. It would be an interesting end to Amber’s story to realize her father is an incredibly pathetic nutjob whose sole ability is to groom teenage girls as well as abuse his wife/daughter.

    1. King Daniel

      Asher confirmed that he has at least some mob ties.

      1. Slartibeast Button, BIA

        But mob ties who are not total fools, it seems.

      2. Needfuldoer

        Ties, but not leverage. He has dirt on Asher, but it doesn’t look like be got any actual mob goons to help him here, just college bros with a beef against Amazi-Girl.

        The Gramps Mafia probably just gives his chain a little slack and gives him a little praise to appease him, so he thinks he’s a bigger deal than he is. This buys them his loyalty, but will inevitably lead to him overstepping his boundaries. I hope that’s what we’ll see here.

    2. BBCC

      Mike seemed to find evidence in his finances. Patreon strips have Yuri hint at it too. But Blaine’s a stooge. Stooges don’t get their own stooges.

      1. Regalli

        Yeah, and the way Blaine took the bait when Mike started shouting about his tax fraud and nonexistent carpentry business definitely says it wasn’t pulled out of Mike’s ass. Amber and Stacey (by extension, since she’s the obvious one to have told Richard) both believe he is as well.

        But Richard’s line about mob stooges, Asher’s “My Gramps owns you” line (or something to that effect,) and Mike’s lines about the tax fraud all suggest to me he’s not even one of the accountants, just a money launderer. Who is either EXTREMELY well-paid for his services, embezzling, or both. (My bet is both!) Blaine doesn’t actually have the influence to get a bunch of mobsters helping him out, he just knows enough the mob would want him out of jail if they can.

        Which is why we know THEY don’t know, because no actual mobster who actually sees action would look at this plan and let it go through, much less work with Blaine on it. He has teenagers helping him because they’re the only ones dumb enough to go along with it.

        1. temperaryobsessor

          Yea and considering Blaine is doing this without their permission I’m guessing when they find out they are more likely to kill him than cover his crimes.

        2. Chris

          He knows enough that they’ll want him either out of jail or unable to talk. I don’t think he’s really thought this one through.

  19. Bagge

    Ooooo Nooooo, how will ever Dina, Sarah and Joyce manage a bunch of frat bros.

    Still, this is hero-time. Could be asher (with or without Sal), could be amazi-girl (with or without Ruth) but I nominate Becky. It’s HER turn to save Joyce, dangit.

    1. Needfuldoer

      Yeah, we’re about due for some reinforcements to show up. I’m guessing either Amazi-Girl or Becky (with Uggtroopers in tow) will be first.

  20. Leorale

    Yes please have a chat while they get their legs free, thanks bros

  21. Mark

    Because Becky has more common sense then the rest of the cast hopefully she’ll have called the police and then they can bust in and deal with the idiots, I doubt any of them are that keen on committing murder to get away with it…

    1. thejeff

      Though to be honest, middle of a fight scene/escape attempt is when Sarah’s worries about the cops are most likely to come true. Much more so than if they were still tied up in the basement.

  22. Kravis

    A TIGER UPPERCUT if possible, please!

  23. abysswatcher1993

    Those assholes don’t deserve to wear masks! Only Phantom Thieves and rogues from Batman’s comics deserve masks. I hope Ruth appears and breaks their femurs after Integrivact reaches the secondary effects listed in the commercial after the bear documentary. We need at least one person with split personalities to cause some mayhem, and AG doesn’t seem capable right now.

  24. Needfuldoer

    “Get behind me, Doktor!”
    – Hoovy

  25. Rikunda

    How many people did they recruit to help with this mass murder?!

  26. Keulen

    How did I not notice before now that Walky and Dorothy are wearing matching pajama pants?

    1. Bagge

      They are very cute together

      *cries*

  27. Brasca1

    No shortage of douchebags in this town.

  28. Phim Seraphim

    Where is Sal in all of this? Seriously that girl would put the odds in their favor nicely. Same with Ruth and her girlfriend. Ugh!
    This is so good but I just want these guys to get what they’ve got coming to them: A well earned butt-kicking!

  29. iain

    So because they’re not calling the Police, all these guys get to go free right?

    1. Mopey

      Pretty much, yes. It’s infuriating, but I can only hope that Ruth did the sensible thing.

    2. thejeff

      Once the situation is under control many of the reasons for not calling the police go away – Blaine can’t be warned and kill hostages if they’ve escaped, can’t give orders to kill Mike if he’s already caught. Even the threat of being shot by cops is lower if it’s not an active threat situation.

  30. BenRG

    Okay, time to cut away to Amber and Mazie (the latter fact both horrifying and fascinating the others) convincing Sal to join them on the great fight ahead. Maybe Asher’s confession too and him either being knocked unconscious by Sal for his treachery or him offering to join them (because Death equals Redemption; “No regrets; act with integrity.”).

    Ruth will desperately try to talk them down but, instead, will agree to go to check on Mike.

    1. clif

      Well, if so, they.kidknapped your brother should be some kind of motivator.

  31. DarkoNeko

    ….are they twins ? the Toprightmost two

  32. Bagge

    OK, everyone gets Tyler first this time.

    https://www.dumbingofage.com/2016/comic/book-7/01-glower-vacuum/decisions/

  33. Ali

    I thought the striped shirts were pajamas at first, but now I’m thinking about Bananas in Pajamas.

  34. Vulcanodon

    Sarah notices baseball bat, future probabilities begin to curve…

  35. adam Black

    Redshirt is nameless?

  36. hof1991

    The sheer number of large idiots answers the question of how the kids all got grabbed at once. They had enough henchmen to double up and disable them.

  37. Liz

    Ethan must be really sick of being taken hostage at this point

    1. Bagge

      For a guy who has as his primary ambition to complain about transformers online, he finds himself in a surprising amount of drama.

      1. Deanatay

        Are you saying that there’s no drama in Internet chat rooms?

        1. Delicious Taffy

          None that’s of much consequence, anyway.

  38. Deanatay

    *Joyce snatches bat from thug*
    Thug: HEY! That’s not your bat!
    Joyce: You know, you’re right. I’m not really a bat person.
    *hands bat to Sarah*
    *Sarah grins evilly (sorry, smartly and meanly)*

  39. Rabisch

    Time for amaziGirl and Tuth to suddenly appear and save everyone

  40. :0

    …All these grunts… are all students? WTF?

    1. NinjaNick

      They’ll soon to be expelled/banned from IU once this is over.

  41. Needfuldoer

    Dina momentarily forgot about the current situation because someone was in need of correct dinosaur facts.

  42. 3oranges

    Arm strength aside, T. rexes are not known for uppercuts. They are known for sinking their teeth straight into their target’s bones, something not even larger theropods had the strength to do, and then using their arms to help hold them in place while they were crushed.

    I don’t think I would want to be on the receiving end of anything that comparison might invite.

    1. Delicious Taffy

      There’s a sex joke in there somewhere.

  43. Mishyana

    I am confused. Didn’t Joyce just knee one of those guys in the nards hard enough to lift him up off the ground? I kind of feel like he should be on the ground praying silently for a just and merciful god to end his suffering, not standing there douchebro-gloating.

    1. Needfuldoer

      There’s three douchebros: Tyler, Taylor, and Dawson.

      Dawson just took it to the nads, and the other two just entered the room.

    2. thejeff

      You can see Dawson thrashing around on the floor in panel 3. Well, Dawson’s foot anyway.

  44. aureus

    I just realize that these were the guys from the axis of… something.

    Nice call back.

    1. NinjaNick

      Axis of Stupidity?

  45. SystemofEleven

    Did stripey boys just teleport across the room? They were across the counter from Joyce in the third panel, but in the fifth they’re on the same side…

    1. thejeff

      It’s not clear, but I think there are two counters in the room. You can see them in yesterday’s strip. Joyce is between them and the 5th panel is at an angle such that you can’t see the one beyond her. Joyce and Dina turned around to face the bros and backed away to the first counter while they came around to the end of the second.

      At least, that’s the only way I can make it make any sense.

  46. PB

    She’s used to attacking with claws and teeth, Joyce. Give her a break. But also yeah as soon as you’re free book it, or use that phone to call 911.

    1. PB

      Also I NEED DINA’S PAJAMA PANTS.

  47. pienapp1e

    Dina’s got her own priorities of education over violence 😀

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