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McCrankypants
Posted on March 6, 2016 by David M Willis
The Dumbing of Age Book 5 Kickstarter is at $47k, which is just $3k away from giving everyone who ordered physical books a free Amber magnet!  Huzzah! Also, you can still go vote for who I'm gonna doodle inside 1000 books this fall.  Check out the poll on the right.  

141 thoughts on “McCrankypants”

  1. Just A. Thinker

    Way to go, Walky

    1. inqntrol

      He knows how to compliment a lady.

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        Luckily for Walky, Billie is no lady.

        1. Tabitha Desanto

          Yea i think Walky is thinking about high school Billie level of great.

        2. Willoughby Chase

          Luckily for Walky, her hands are full.

        3. Clif

          A box can be a weapon.

    2. Hinoron

      I guess he noticed her murderface forming between panels 3 & 4. :/

  2. Coru

    Sounds like me and my childhood friends.

    1. Dr. Smart

      I kind of had to google your avatar, Punky Brewster seems like a really cute show the jokes are outdated for obvious reasons but its got a certain charm to it i like…

      1. Rynverral

        You just had to know, didn’t you Dr. Smart

  3. Ana Chronistic

    “it used to be Grouchykiltsson before we changed the name”

    1. Stephen R. Bierce

      And before that, House of Snittyknickers.

    2. Reltzik

      Retroactively. 15 generations back.

      …. you would not BELIEVE the paperwork.

      1. Bagge

        The rest of the family got kinda cranky about it… which neatly made the point

    3. Deanatay

      That’s DUCHESS Angry McCrankypants the Sixteenth, Countess of Grumpsville and First Lady of Bongo!

  4. AgentKeen

    So is… Walky a tsundere?

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      He better control himself before he becomes “tsundere-struck”.

      1. Znayx

        Dat pun tho

        Okay now shoot me I said it

        1. Znayx

          Seriously though have one internet

      2. Wizard

        Whoa-oh-oh-oh-whoa!
        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K-Op1Mng4oY

        1. Screwball

          Seen that guy in action, he’s in Fremantle, Perth’s main port in Western Australia. I got in trouble for trying to touch the flames. But they’re sooo preeeettyyy…

        2. Roborat

          Wow, that is awesome, he even works in the Angus headbob. Why do I have a sneaking suspicion that his hairstyle is closely linked to the flamethrowers?

        3. Roborat

          That is awesome, he even manages work in the Angus headbob. I suspect the haircut is closely linked to the flames.

        4. Roborat

          Stupid internets

      3. Roborat

        Now I have that song in my head, good thing for you it is a favourite of mine.

    2. Aeron

      I read “torn asunder” and was going to say “Yes.”

    3. Mr k

      But then who’s the yandere?

      1. JetstreamGW

        Ruth, with her insatiable thirst for femurs.

  5. Reltzik

    Actually, that’s why she DIDN’T want to dump her.

    1. inqntrol

      Horrible people get along pretty well.

      1. Reltzik

        Like Hitler and Stalin!

        …. wait…

        1. inqntrol

          “Get along pretty well, until one betrays the other” there, fixed it

        2. Kryss LaBryn

          “Curse your sudden yet inevitable betrayal!”

  6. DarkoNeko

    Ok Walky, you had a good point, until around the middle. Then I cringed. I cringed so bad.

  7. Cheshrin

    Oh, Walky.

  8. gkheyf

    supportive jackass brother says the wrong thing to the rescu~e!

  9. Mr. Mendo

    Walky’s mastered the art of being right and wrong at the same time!

    1. Reltzik

      It’s Schrodinger’s truth state! Quantum logic! Use this to guarantee an A on your next exam! Just don’t look at the paper as you right, and the quantum waveform won’t collapse until your teacher observes it!

    2. achallenger

      ah yes, the ‘not wrong, just an asshole’ balance

      1. Reltzik

        Nono, that’s Mike.

  10. Doctor_Who

    Obviously the solution is for Billie to buy Amber a really comfortable recliner to use as a computer chair. Then she will spend 100% of her time at her computer, and no longer need her bed, so Becky can take it and live with Dina.

    1. Reltzik

      Amber won’t need the bed, but Amazi-Girl may need to have Danny come in for some bed spring stress testing.

      1. Doctor_Who

        I imagine they would be better off doing that in Danny’s room. Joe considers a sock on the doorknob to be a sacred trust, and would sooner commit seppuku than violate it.

        Dina on the other hand not only wouldn’t understand the meaning of Sock, she would turn out to somehow already be in the room, probably standing in the corner and taking notes. They wouldn’t even notice until she started interrupting with questions.

        1. Amazi-Stool

          Dina on the other hand (…) would turn out to somehow already be in the room
          This is canon so much!

      2. inqntrol

        He also helps her check it if it’s booby trapped.

        1. Skilltagz

          I’d call Danny the “Booby trap”. Eh? Eh (Quietly sneaks out the window)

        2. Someone

          If theres one thing I want, its for Willis to make that “sex from a grappling hook” thing that Danny mentioned to Dorothy into a slipshine, not even for sexual reasons, I just want to see how the hell that would work.

        3. Clif

          Awkwardly.

  11. Stephen R. Bierce

    *plays the R.E.M./Natalie Merchant song “Photograph” on the hacked Muzak*

  12. nothri

    With her relationship with Ruth on hold, Billie can concentrate on the things she’s been neglecting. Like remembering how much she hates nerds. And Walky.

    1. Deanatay

      You mean, how much she hates Walky, right?

      … Right?

      … Hello?

  13. achallenger

    ah, just like my twin and me

  14. Cattleprod

    Good recovery, I’m sure she’ll only remember that last part.

  15. Shiro

    Oh, Walky. You so…you.

    It has to come out eventually, right? Maybe when people start noticing Billie and Ruth’s boyfriends dumped them mysteriously at the same time?

    1. dailybrad

      I don’t know if anyone thought Ruth had one. I think even if they did, not a lot of people have social interaction with both of them.

      1. Captain Button - Slartibeast* BIA

        And no one is going to believe that Ruth has a living ex-

    2. Reltzik

      Except no one “knew” that Ruth had a “boyfriend”. She’s not exactly on facebook-update friend status with… well, anyone except Billie.

      1. Cerberus

        This. Ruth is just a force of nature to a lot of the hallway and Ruth likes it that way because her not being a person keeps them prying into how much of a train wreck her life feels to her.

        Combine that with her being depressed in her bed all week and yeah, outside of (was it Mandy who suspects that they are banging?), no one really has even a suspicion that Ruth has been with someone this last week.

  16. tim gueguen

    Marcie might be the solution to Becky’s housing problem, but are any of them clear minded enough to see that?

    1. JessWitt

      Man wouldn’t that be awesome and all sorts of interesting.

      1. Reltzik

        Sal probably is.

        Thing is, Marcie probably ISN’T the solution. If she’s got room then she’s probably got a roommate. She’s just out of high school working without a college degree. No way she has a place of her own.

        1. Betty Anne

          Depends on where she feels okay living. I had a place of my own when I first went off to college. $300/month, and it was the shithole upstairs of a duplex; the shower leaked, there was no bathtub (only the shower stall), the upstairs deck door opened to a non-deck (was welded shut, because the landlord didn’t want to replace the upstairs deck), three of the windows didn’t open, and as I found out halfway through my lease there, the downstairs neighbors were drug users and invited their dealers to park behind me and block the only exit to the road, forcing me to drive over the yard and curb to get out of the driveway.

          But yeah…it can be done. XP

        2. inqntrol

          I’ll be damned, how the heck did you even resist? If I had neighbours that used drugs I would have insta-left that place, ‘cuz you don’t know what are people capable of when they are high. Hope you didn’t stay in that shithole for the whole duration of your college.

        3. Betty Anne

          Sort of! I was there for two years, which was my first college degree (it was a tech school). I then moved in with my boyfriend to a more expensive apartment and later a trailer home. (The more expensive apartment building was full of crazies, including a guy who always had domestics with his girlfriend; we found out many years later that he ended up burning down their side of the building by throwing a gas can full of gas at her and lighting it. ^^; ) We moved our trailer from the court it was in because of drunken street fights to a different court, only to have asshole kids shooting fireworks at our trailer. >_>

          (Long story and many more moves after that later…when you’re a broke ass, you learn to put up with a lot of shit out of your neighbors, because you can’t afford anything else. ^^; )

        4. tim gueguen

          At the very least there might be space for Becky to use a sleeping bag at night.

    2. dailybrad

      Sal’s the only one of them who even knows Marcie all that much, outside of maybe Billie and Walky, but we don’t know they know her do we?

      1. JessWitt

        We’ve got a Buncha chapters to have this idea incubate among the group. Let’s not count it out just yet.

      2. Reltzik

        Well there’s Malaya and Carla, of course, but no one else really knows THEM much.

        Hrrrrm… maybe Billie will do some outreach to Carla following Mary’s transphobia attack and that will make the necessary connection? Carla might not be receptive to that sort of outreach, but she might. And while she’s not normally the helpful type, she might do it in the name of spiting the Mary’s of the world. Or just this Mary in particular.

        More likely, though, Sal will just calmly talk to Marcie off-camera and come back with the solution right when Billie’s in the middle of last-second panic.

        Or, you know, different solution.

        1. Clif

          The real solution is to use Mary’s room after her mysterious disappearance.

    3. Bladeglory

      I’m expecting Leslie to play a role in this. She’s the one who’s gone through this before and offered to help. (well okay it wasn’t really a direct offer)

      1. Captain Button - Slartibeast BIA

        Doesn’t that presuppose someone in DoA behaving sensibly?

    4. Heatth

      How many of them even know Marcie exists? At most she is that silent girl who sometimes hangs with Sal. I doubt any of them (Sal excluded, of course) even knows she is not a student.

      1. No Name

        A the very least, Walky and Billie also know; Marcie was childhood friend of Sal’s.

        1. random832

          Have we ever seen Walky and Marcie interact?

        2. Bagge

          We have this hearty greeting between childhood friends
          http://www.dumbingofage.com/2015/comic/book-5/02-threes-a-crowd/completelywithout/

    5. Bagge

      Becky and Marcie over a cup of tea: “Sorry, I’m not hip to sign language… ok, yeah, better write. So you play Roller Derby… yeah, I noticed (believe me I noticed) and there is this hot girl on the team that you want to…. hah, I know that sign! Ooooooh, but you are not sure if she is into you… Don’t you worry about a thing. Auntie Becky will get the you of you together!”

      1. DaveM

        Oh heavens no! I mean, Becky’s nice and caring, but her personality and social skills are basically the George Lucas CGI version of original Joyce..

        1. Reltzik

          Mesa think no one ever could be that baddy!

    6. Spencer

      It’s definitely going to be Marcie.

      Halfway through “Three’s A Crowd”, where Becky is now homeless and Joyce could get kicked out for sheltering her, it’s suddenly revealed that Marcie isn’t a student and lives off-campus, and then in “To Those Who Ground Me” we learned that she’s working long hours.

      1. Needfuldoer

        Chekhov’s gun vacancy?

      2. Cerberus

        Long-term? Probably.

        Short-term? It’s actually not that big of a deal on the lacking a bed. Sure, Becky lost her bed, but we know that Sal at least is pretty spartan and Billie hasn’t been living there long so the floor will still be clear enough for her to stretch out in for a bit. I mean, it’s not ideal, but she was ready for floor living before and it’s a good stretch better than being on the streets, so I don’t see Becky minding… at least outwardly.

        The biggest short-term hurdle is not going to be Billie back in her room, but rather the incoming investigation looking for “homeless vagrants hiding in the dorms” based on a “student complaint”. And that might be the thing that triggers a more long-term solution (Marcie, Leslie, some sort of fight with the school for amnesty based on being hunted for sport on their campus with campus security nowhere to be found).

        And since that last one is the same hurdle that’s blocking her and Ruth slamming self-destructively back into each other, I can see that getting more attention than the “where will Becky crash when she gets back” problem.

  17. Vangeln

    Not great enough for your ex, but great nonetheless.

    1. Disloyal Subject

      ‘Presently too cranky for anyone sane, but fundamentally great’ is what I think he was going for.
      Little does Walky realize that mental health is not Ruth’s strong suit. Or that Ruth is involved.

  18. FuryOfFirestorm

    Have some respect, Walky – Billie murdered the previous 15 McCrankypants to earn that title, dammit! You know how hard it was for her to track them all down and get rid of the bodies?

    1. Reltzik

      My mental Ruth is saying “Oh, THAT’S where your flab came from.”

    2. Jackson

      Billie has ascended to power and taken the might of Clan McCrankypants for her own. Indeed, there can only be one.

      1. Emperor Norton

        Except for when they come back to hijack a subway train. Then there can be more again.

  19. Architex

    I missed this.

  20. Foxhack

    Walky used compliment!

    Walky died from missing femurs…

  21. Just Me

    Walky is on a empathy/Concern/Kindness kick right now. Only, Billie is about ready to kick him out.

  22. JessWitt

    Billie’s grumpy cussing versus Walky’s non-sweary titling really hits my funny bone.

    1. saltchocolate

      ^ This. Also, I love how Billie’s in panel 6 is neither better nor worse than in panel 5. It just goes from one kind of pissed off to another.

      1. saltchocolate

        *That would be “Billie’s face” . . .

      2. JessWitt

        She’s going for the whole spectrum.

      3. Deanatay

        Now that Billie can no longer stay with her soulmate, her face has frozen in a perpetual grumpy scowl. She’s actually smiling affectionately at Walky in the last panel, we just can’t tell the difference.

  23. John

    Panel 6: Walky’s hand is exploded by the sheer power of Billie’s rage.

  24. Uniqueantique

    Walky is …
    Amazing no one has killed him yet, but I guess maybe it’s because by the time you realize you want to, he’s said something totally inane while being mistaken for complimentary, and disappeared.

    1. Reltzik

      That, or while you realize that you really want to kill him, you also realize that you really DON’T want to have to repeat THAT story around the cell block.

  25. Skizz

    I wish I was more like Walky, thirty seconds of anger for an hour of caring.

  26. Kas

    Just open your packages already!

    1. HeySo

      You have to handle your package with care, and only reveal its wonders to the public at the appropriate time.

      1. Someone

        Dorothy and Walky will be sharing their packages

        1. Reltzik

          Package sharing? SO THAT’S HOW VIRUSES SPREAD OVER THE INTERNET!

        2. inqntrol

          “Get your free IPhone 7 at freescamandvirus.com!. Totally not a scam!”

        3. John

          Dorothy is a responsible girl. She always makes sure Walky’s package is wrapped.

    2. Just Me

      I can see Sal tossing her package, unopened, into the trash. I can also see her opening it up, then tossing what’s inside into the trash.

      Honestly can’t imagine what kinds on items might be in those care packages. Especially Sally and Dorothy’s.

      1. Slartibeast Button, BIA

        She just wants to play with the box?

  27. NF

    Billie/Walky is the ultimate in crack-ships. I don’t ship it, and I’m afraid for/of anyone who does.

    1. Bagge

      Joyce ships it!
      http://www.dumbingofage.com/2011/comic/book-2/01-pajama-jeans/gross/

      (Also in hindsight, Billie really SHOULD have dated outside her roommate assignment)

      1. Reltzik

        Well, NF? Are you afraid of or for Joyce right now?

        If so, rule proven!

    2. John

      Nah, that’s just classic tsundere/idiot, as seen in countless animes.

      Carla/Ross is a crack ship.

      1. Reltzik

        Okay.

        This?

        This Challenge?

        It is now accepted.

        …. hmmm…

        Ima go with Ruth/Walky.

        1. Silamy

          Mary/Toedad, but they’re both cheating on each other with Blaine.

  28. Bagge

    Bless his heart, he is trying. And frankly I wonder if Walky being stupid is not the most comforting thing Billie can get right now – stability in a world gone mad.

  29. Russ

    He’s…. trying?

    1. No Name

      Oh he’s trying. Very trying.

  30. NotPiffany

    Damn you Willis! What’s in the boxes?!

    1. BenRG

      I think that the boxes matter more than the contents, at least in narrative terms.

      1. NotPiffany

        But I want to know what’s in the booooooxeeees. 😉

        1. Arianod

          https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=abUcmOrwfdA

        2. Moonshine McGee

          https://youtu.be/KezvwARhBIc?t=1m13s

  31. BenRG

    Walky… Well, he’s basically been treating Billie like this since they were both in First Grade, weren’t they? He doesn’t change much and I suspect that Billie’s reaction hasn’t changed much either!

    1. Bagge

      One big change is that Billie is not in a position of power over him any longer. Back in high school he would have been stuffed into a locker. Annoying as Walky is, it’s to his credit that he doesn’t seem to harbor a lot of resentment over that.
      http://www.dumbingofage.com/2011/comic/book-2/01-pajama-jeans/friends/

      1. Eukie

        Walky’s comment makes it clear that Billie wasn’t the one stuffing him into lockers; she was just friends with people who did that kind of stuff. (Of course, resentment over that would also be understandable.)

  32. caesaria82

    Awwww, sibling love 😉

    I really love this, it feels really true to life, somehow. A glimpse into what their chidlhood must have been like. They yell a lot, but they love each other really.

    1. Spencer

      I honestly do see Walky as, effectively, replacing Sal with Billie when she was taken to boarding school.

      The way Walky treated Sal early in the story, where he tried to pick up where they left off and pretend that a near total lack of communication between the two was no big deal, and gradually just kind of gave up on trying to establish any kind of rapport with her until now, stands in contrast to how he treats Billie, where she loudly talks about how he’s a loser nerd buttface and yet he still goes out of his way to spend time with her and noticeably dials down the antics when he’s around her, even more so when he thinks she’s in pain.

      Between his stuff with Sal, Dorothy and Billie, I think Walky is afraid of losing people, and doesn’t know how to deal with it.

      1. Cerberus

        I think that’s very likely. And that makes me wonder about something. With a lot of the freshman crew we know about their high school friends a bit because they either are still in contact with them or brought them with or talk about them. Amber/Mike/Ethan, Joyce/Becky, Danny/Joe, Billie/Alice, and so on. Walky doesn’t seem to have anyone except Billie and we know that Billie at least at school just put him down and tried to hide from him.

        So, yeah, he might have only a small crew, who are mostly family, that he’s willing to allow himself to get all heavily emotionally invested in and he’s a bit scared of losing them. It might be also why he’s happy that Dorothy and him have a layer of casualness that’s being eroded, because he knows he’ll want to cling to it and feel awful when it ends if he lets himself get all invested in that connection.

  33. engineer

    In the last panel I hear Billie thinking: “Your stupid overconfidence is nostalgic.”
    Then again Billie still didnt seem to learn to value Walky’s friendship.

  34. Paul

    This was the funniest strip in a long time.

    1. Deanatay

      Well, it’s a Walky/Billie strip. Those are consistently hilarious.

  35. Skizz

    Awwww, that was kinda sweet

  36. Rheios

    Frame it? For like what…? Murder?

  37. Ensiform

    Is Billie meant to be very well endowed, boob-wise?

    1. thejeff

      To quote Joyce: “i could crawl up into them and be safe and warm forever”

      So yeah, just a little.

  38. Marc in MN

    Bille reminds me of Lucy from Peanuts in this strip. Maybe it’s the fact that she seems to respond to everything with more anger than is called for in the given conversation.

    I’m surprised by the people who are acting like Walky is at fault here. Panel 1 is a simple question if she is living there again since she is currently present in the room. Panel 2 is a follow-up question that naturally came from the answer in panel 1. Given the context of friends-since-childhood, I hardly feel it is out of line. Panel 3 is a question brought on by the realization of what this new development could mean for Becky. Panel 4 is a “chill out” response…probably brought on by her Lucy-esque responses. Finally, panel 5 is the classic, “Hey, there’s other fish in the sea” type response. Out of all these panels, the only one that irritates me a little is panel 5 and that just grates on me as a single person who has heard things like that far too many times.

    I suppose some people think he’s prying too much? Is that the problem? It was a very brief conversation and really the only reason Billie needed to react as she did is because she’s trying to hide certain details of what happened.

    1. Clif

      The point is how he turns on a dime and seemingly expects her to as well.

      1. trlkly

        Ugh, This is what I get for being a day late.

        But I have to ask: am I the only one who doesn’t have a problem with what Walky did here? He’s just responding exactly the same way Billie did. He’s making a “don’t be a jerk” point.

        We don’t freak out when Ruth responds to her assholery with being an asshole. Why is Walky different?

  39. miz

    Hahahaha!!

    Ahh, brothers.

  40. LBM

    Please get rid of your ads that auto-play with audio. It is the worst thing ever.

    1. Clif

      No, no, no. The worst thing ever is when we start beaming ads into your head and put Mike in charge of programming the ads.

  41. Pingback: It Gets Better | A Sudden Rush of Thoughts

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