230

Murdery
Posted on June 23, 2016 by David M Willis

230 thoughts on “Murdery”

  1. Ana Chronistic

    Uneaten cookies: an affront to the mother-fucking goddess Carla!

    …actually, ALL HUMAN LIFE: an affront to the mother-fucking goddess Carla

    1. Ana Chronistic

      good one, alt-text

      1. adam Black

        On mobile:
        What is the Alt-text?

        1. a snow ʍousɐ

          Click the blank space below the bottom-right corner of the comic

        2. Disloyal Subject

          Bottom left works too. Anywhere on the same height as the nav buttons.

        3. Norah

          Tap your finger below the last two panels of the strip. A box with text will pop up.

        4. marianne

          I’ve read a couple people say they can’t get that mobile alt text button thingy to work, so if you still needed the actual alt text, “you fucked up a perfectly good bag of cookies is what you did, look at it, you gave it anxiety”

        5. Willoughby Chase

          It’s very hard to do, particularly on the tablet.

    2. Wheelpath

      I still need to see her and Joe interact, wonder what that human life will mean to her

      1. inqntrol

        “Meatbags”

        1. Clif

          with anxiety.

      2. Cerberus

        Probably even less than usual seeing as how she’s a homoromantic woman who is also likely sex-repulsed like her counterpoint, so someone who works hard to come off to women as a sleazy pick-up artist would likely trigger… emotions and Joe’s phone would likely pay the price for it.

    3. Jay Eff

      …actually, ALL HUMAN LIFE: an affront to the mother-fucking goddess Carla

      …except the Mothers.
      She is quite fond of the Mothers, judging by her title..

      1. Orion Fury

        But if it’s a hate-fuck, do you like it?

        1. Queen Anthai

          Ask Mike.

        2. inqntrol

          He has “experience” in that domain….and lots of nickels.

        3. Willoughby Chase

          My mom gave him his nickel back.

    4. Arianod

      Actually, uneaten cookies: an affront to ALL HUMAN LIFE.

  2. MatthewTheLucky

    The most evil you can get.

    1. Doctor_Who

      Cookie Monster reads this strip and has a panic attack.

      1. inqntrol

        He accidentaly chokes with cookies while reading the strip.

        1. SgtWadeyWilson

          Luckily he then realizes he doesn’t actually haves any need for air, and stops choking. Somewhat less lucky is that this knowledge of his identity as a puppet drives him insane.

  3. Woobie

    Sensitive Carla is sensitive!

    1. Clif

      But cookies.

    2. Idontcarenomore

      Actually looks that way in the 3rd and 5th panel. Being Carla she has to have a smart ass remark on hand.

      1. Cerberus

        Yup, she’s a secret softie, but she’s definitely always going to snark about it.

    3. arjay2813

      thought this when i saw ehat she and you both said https://youtu.be/ijZRCIrTgQc

  4. AnvilPro

    Oh come on Carla, someone must have told you the world was gonna roll you.

    1. nobodybasically

      She mislead us into believing she was the sharpest tool in the shed.

      1. TheWrathAbove

        She was also looking pretty dumb with finger and her thumb in the shape of an L on her forehead

        1. Mordecai

          Well,

        2. Leorale

          The years keep coming and they won’t stop dumbing

        3. transgressingwaffle

          Bent all the rules and I hit the ground running

        4. Keulan

          Didn’t make sense not to live for fun

        5. john

          Brain gets smart but your head gets dumb

        6. 3-I

          So much to do! So much to see!

        7. pyrpyr

          So what’s wrong with taking the back streets?

        8. Arianod

          You might run into Malaya, that’s what.

        9. thestarryskye

          You’ll never know if you don’t go.

        10. Biblioholic

          You’ll never shine

        11. Arianod

          We’ll, you’ve got a point there.

      2. Willoughby Chase

        Being a brilliant engineer can mislead you into thinking you know everything.

    2. Roborat

      Was their name Rick?

  5. Stephen R. Bierce

    Wait till she hears Ruthless has stock in Keebler.

  6. Some1

    And now for the 3rd Dumbing Tournament Battle!

    Announcer: Stepping into the ring are these two first time contestants Roz DeSanto and Sarah Clinton!

    Roz and Sarah study each other, Sarah reaches behind her, and pulls out a 3 foot long “Other Jacob”

    Sarah: I’m really only here for Joyce, but I’ll do my best.

    Roz: I would be disappointed if you didn’t…is that a new weapon?

    Sarah: I’m glad you noticed! This is Other Jacob 2!

    Jacob: What the hell?

    Roz: You’re not the only one with tricks!

    Roz reaches into her back pockets and pulls out a wrapped condom with metal lining in each hand.

    Roz: Condom throw!

    Sarah quickly leaps out of the way, only to be besieged by another four condoms. Sarah uses Other Jacob 2 to knock them out of the sky.

    Sarah runs as quickly at Roz as she can, dodging condoms in midair. Roz quickly pulls out two vibrators of her own, just in time to block Sarah’s over head strike.

    Roz proceeds to unleash a flurry of quick attacks, pushing Sarah back.

    Roz: Face it Sarah, I’ve become better than you!

    Sarah: NO!

    Sarah does a dramatic swing with Other Jacob 2 and manages to knock Roz’s weapons out of her hand. Roz leaps backs and slides backwards leaning forward with her right hand in front of her.

    Roz: Condom hat activate!

    Sarah: She’s going to use the Condom Hat!

    Joyce: She’s going to use the Condom Hat!

    Walky: She’s going to use the Condom Hat!
    Various others: She’s going to use the Condom Hat!

    The Condom hat forms over Roz’s head.

    Roz: Ultimate Condom Hat Beam Fire!

    A blue beam shoots out of the hat. Sarah just barely manages to block it with Other Jacob 2.

    Roz: So it comes down to this, beam vs. sword…sort of…

    The two fighters continue to struggle, with Sarah attempting to move forward, and Roz’s beam constantly keeping her back.

    Roz pours more power into the attack.

    Roz: This hat, only serves as a funnel for my own power!

    Sarah is pushed back more and struggles to keep her weapon in front of her.

    Sarah: It’s just too much!

    Joyce: You can do it Sarah!

    Sarah (thinking): Joyce…I do this for you.

    Sarah regains her footing and slowly begins to make her way towards Roz. Roz pours in as much power as she can but is still pushed back.

    Soon the two fighters are standing right in front of each other, Roz tries to step back, only to realize that she’s at the very end of the ring.

    Roz: Impossible!

    Sarah quickly slashes at her with Other Jacob 2, sending her over the edge. Roz crashes into the dirt and passes out.

    Sarah sheathes her weapon and walks off of the ring.

    In the shadows a new threat looms.

    Mary: guess it’s my turn next…and I won’t be gentle

    Next battle Mary vs. Billie!

    1. Mr. Random

      I feel like you may have prepared this beforehand.

    2. Mordecai

      Where will the plot go next?? I must know…

      1. trlkly

        Then I suggest watching Dragonball.

    3. Rukduk

      You know, this no makes me wonder what DoA characters would look like in anime format.

      1. Disloyal Subject

        I’m mildly ashamed at not having to wonder, because I can envision it easily.

      2. Slartibeast Button, BIA

        Sal’s hair malfunctions would certainly be more spectacular.

  7. Shiro

    “Please don’t be naked or murdery” is my new barging-in call.

    1. JustCheetoDust

      It should be a police staple, along with the Miranda Warning.

      1. DSL

        That would be: “Police! Don’t be naked or murdery!”

        1. DSL

          Coming this fall:”Law&Order:DoA”

        2. JustCheetoDust

          You really want to see Dick Wolf’s take on Ross and Blaine?

          (tradeoff: Speed Weed joins the writing team)

        3. DSL

          Could be worse. Could be a product of the “Criminal Minds” writing crew. Those are some sick folk right there.

    2. Orion Fury

      Another one I’ve heard, and I wish I knew from where: “You’re going to have to speak up, I’m not wearing any pants” (said during a phone conversation).

      1. Schpoonman

        I believe the original is “…I’m wearing a towel.” from The Simpsons.

        1. Orion Fury

          Maybe. Perhaps I twisted it over time. Still think mine’s better. More unknown with it.

      2. 3-I

        I think DBZ Abridged had Roshi say that one, but I don’t know if it was a reference to something.

    3. Dana

      English is too vague. You need to be able to specify that you definitely mean *or* and not *exclusive or*. Nothing worse than being attacked by a naked murdery RA when you’re not expecting it.

      1. Yet_One_More_Idiot

        Carla – “Please don’t be naked, murdery, or naked murdery.”

        1. john

          I think it’s implied to be a non-exclusive or.

        2. Reltzik

          I dunno, maybe the intersection falls into “acceptable because fetish” territory.

          … probably not Carla’s fetish, though.

      2. Willoughby Chase

        English isn’t a programming language 🙂

    4. Idontcarenomore

      Very Carla. Love it.

    5. TheAnonymousGuy

      seeing ruth like that is kind of chilling, especially with how she silently stares at you and goes back to looking at the ceiling.

      1. Cerberus

        Yeah, she’s so drained and so it really hammers home how not okay she’s doing. And it serves as a potent reminder that the numb lack of emotions feeling she mentioned to Billie is typically her default mode. When she sees Carla, no emotions are triggered good or bad and so the response is aggressively neutral, merely the eyeball confirmation that Carla has been seen.

    6. Palamdrone

      I’m going to stick with the classic “Game of Thrones” for my entrance announcement.

    7. Cerberus

      I feel it is so Carla that naked came before murdery in her list. Like, if you must be one of the two, I’d rather deal with you murdery and trying to stab me rather than you being naked.

      It makes it a nice sort of callback to her other universe’s sex repulsion and aversion to “disgusting human mating habits” (a separate personality trait to her asexuality).

  8. nobodybasically

    So are the cookies gonna stick around for breakfast?

    1. Tom T.

      Toss them.

    2. Idontcarenomore

      Last thing she got from Billy, indirectly. I think they have a permanent place on that pillow.

  9. Kris

    She dan eat them at her own discretion. Don’t cookie shame Ruth.

    1. tim gueguen

      Yeah, she may actually be acookieual. Don’t make her uncomfortable just because you aren’t.

      1. DSL

        Cookie-neutral?

      2. Will

        Demicookieual. It takes time to form a meaningful relationship with your cookies.

    2. Deanatay

      “But, don’t you get it?? You could have let ME eat those cookies! It would have made ME SOOO HAPPY!!! Don’t you see how much good you could have done for the universe (me) by making ME happy?? YOU MONSTER!!”

  10. Foxhack

    How long has it been since those cookies were given to her, anyway?

    1. John

      Walky collected them from Asma yesterday, and they were passed through Billie and Carla to Ruth shortly thereafter.

      Sorry, I haven’t gotten most of yesterday into the timeline yet.

      1. Slartibeast Button, BIA

        Yesterday, all my cookies seemed so far away.

        1. Silly Name

          Now it looks like they’re here to stay.
          Oh, I believe in cookie-day.

  11. SconesAndEvil

    Those uneaten cookies are an affront to humam dignity. Unless they’re raisin.

    1. Reltzik

      Raisin cookies are ALWAYS an affront to human dignity.

      …. unless they’re raisin-oatmeal, in which case, I’ll take them off your hands.

      1. John

        Oatmeal raisin are the worst. They pretend to be oatmeal chocolate chip, and then you nom them, and instead of chocolate, they’re all raisiny, and it’s terrible.

        1. Reltzik

          They’re not PRETENDING to be anything, you just judge them by their appearance and then blame them for being something they’re not.

          I hate oatmeal chocolate-chip for the same reason you hate oatmeal raisin. I guess that makes us both cookie-racists.

        2. Rukduk

          I for one love both types of oatmeal cookies. And telling the difference isn’t that hard if you just look really hard at the dark spots. Admittedly, an intense examination may be rude to the cookie, but I’m about to eat it anyway, it probably already thinks I’m a monster.

        3. Reltzik

          If you have to look really hard, or do anything hard, then the task is by definition hard.

        4. nothri

          https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RjlW3QCR8Rg&ab_channel=s0nu

        5. timemonkey

          Oatmeal chocolate chip suck! Rarely have a suffered disappointment such as when I bit a cookie thinking it was oatmeal raisin only for it to be oatmeal chocolate.

          The absolute worst food related misunderstanding was the time a coworker thought she’d put on cream of mushroom soup and told me to go give it astir and a sniff and see how it was doing. Turns out she’d put on clam chowder instead. I learned that day that my lips are strong enough to hold back rather violent surprise vomiting.

        6. Rycan

          The real benefit to playing in school band? The ability to hold back surprise vomit.

        7. Disloyal Subject

          Once I thought as you do.
          Slaanesh has taught me that the only bad cookie is one I may not eat.

        8. Deanatay

          Wise, this one.

      2. Reltzik

        Also, obligatory video link, for all those people who think oatmeal raisin cookies should be changed into chocolate chip cookies.

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UkUeUKlgbqw

        If you are a cookie or know a cookie, you may wish to avert your eyes.

    2. John

      They’re gingersnaps. ‘Cause snappish gingers are Billie’s favorite.

      1. Yet_One_More_Idiot

        DID YOU JUST

  12. brasca1

    The cookies should still be good. Even if a month had passed they’d still be edible by college student standards.

  13. Rhodri

    That reminds me I forgot about my gingersnaps I bought three weeks ago…

    1. Slartibeast Button, BIA

      You are not worthy of your gingersnaps if you’d neglect them that way.

  14. noiob

    that hovertext is awesome

  15. kevlulz

    The untouched bag of cookies that she’s keeping close by is the most insanely bleak part of this

    1. Cerberus

      Yeah, it’s heartbreaking and extra so, because she’s been keeping the cookies in “Billie’s spot” all night long, maybe not even haven gone to bed at all, just using it as a constant reminder, something to cling to to remember Billie and fill her role stepping back from the void, and also a thing to constantly mock herself with, as a constant painful reminder of what she lost and “how pathetic” she is to try and cling to a memory of a thing she no longer has*.

      *Pathetic in this sense referring to how Ruth views herself.

      1. thejeff

        Well, she did change into her normal sleepwear, so she’s gone to bed in some sense.
        OTOH, yesterday the cookies were enough to get her out of bed and dressed, even put the hair in a ponytail like Billie did for her.

  16. Doctor_Who

    Okay, from now on I officially will imagine Carla as having the voice of Tiny Tina.

    1. Doctor_Who

      Damn, this was supposed to be a reply to SconesAndEvil’s Raison comment above. Please disregard my incompetence.

      1. Doctor_Who

        Aaaand I spelled Raisin wrong too. I has all the smarts.

    2. Rukduk

      I’m now reminded of the sad fact that, despite all of the murder, insanity, corruption, and general lawlessness of the Borderlands universe, they still seem to be more tolerant than our own at times.

      1. Doctor_Who

        Fun fact: Handsome Jack (AKA his writer, in character), once did an AMA on reddit. Despite being a mass murdering, torturing, completely sadistic psychopath, he was honestly confused by the fact that gay marriage wasn’t (at the time) legal, and couldn’t understand why anyone would have any objection to it.

        1. thestarryskye

          Man, this just reminded me of all the dudebros relief when Anthony Burch left Gearbox to write his own show, because “Borderlands 3 won’t have any of that SJW crap”. Even though Gearbox put Burch in charge and approved all his writing. (and they have specifically asked for PoC, LGBTQ, and women to apply for development of Borderlands 3.)

  17. Just Me

    Ruth sleeps with the cookies because they remind her of Billie. She sleeps better that way. So don’t you dare take her cookies away from her, Carla!

    1. Reltzik

      No, Ruth, NO! You’re doing it wrong! COOKIES IS SUPPOSED TO BE A EUPHEMISM!

    2. Slartibeast Button, BIA

      And how do the cookies feel about being used this way, rather than valued for their own uniqueness?

  18. Cacturne

    …pretty sure Ruth has color in her eyes. I don’t think depression gets rid of that. I think the tags are wrong.

    1. Reltzik

      Her eyes are super-dilated from being in a dark room. We’re seeing mostly pupils.

    2. Cerberus

      My eyes actually do that.

      Basically, the particular blend of hazel I have seems to be affected by emotions, so people close to me could always figure out when I was really struggling, because my eyes would start having way too much grey in it.

      1. Roborat

        Hey, my eyes do that too, the particular blend of hazel-grey varies on an almost daily basis. Haven’t noticed any connection to emotions, however.

  19. Orion Fury

    But what flavor is it?

    1. Disloyal Subject

      Boot to the head.

      1. Orion Fury

        Thank you.

    2. Slartibeast Button, BIA

      He’s bloody albatross-flavored!

  20. Ash Ketchup

    Ruth’s beady little eyes are creepin’ me out.

    1. Slartibeast Button, BIA

      Nobody knows what it’s like … behind beady eyes.

  21. StClair

    just lying there
    lights off
    staring at the ceiling

    1. Kris

      It’s not that strange. I do that at least once or twice a day. Sometimes you just gotta veg y’know?

    2. LimeSheep

      its still pretty early in the morning, isnt it?
      at least she kicked off the blanket. its a start.

      1. Reltzik

        You’re assuming she even pulled the blanket up last night.

    3. Bicycle Bill

      You say that like there might be something wrong with that.  I do some of my deepest thinking lying on the bed with the lights out and a thousand-yard stare on my face.

      1. Kris

        In the interest of fairness being sedentary like that, having little motivation to move or engage is a sign of depression. Not really a huge cause for concern ultimately but you could make a case.

    4. Reltzik

      On the one hand, I know that this is one of the signs of depression and/or suicidal tendency.

      On the other hand, I hate bright lights and dark or dim rooms are TOTALLY relaxing to me, so I have trouble taking it as seriously as I probably should.

      1. Kris

        Well it’s less this one thing and more that Ruth shows multiple symptoms of depression including, irritability, lack of interest, avoiding social interactions especially with close friends, lack of appetite, an overall sense of helplessness, not to mention her previous alcohol dependancy. This is really just icing on the clinical depression cake.

        1. Reltzik

          Oh I’m taking the rest of that seriously. But that dark-room criteria needs a closer look under the bright light of rea-…

          …. wait.

          …. crap.

        2. Regalli

          Yeah my parents get super-worried when I keep the lights out for too long because I’ve BEEN depressed but it’s really more a sensory thing for the most part for me so I usually don’t recognize it as a specific sign.

        3. Jason

          Yee-up. Been depressed but also have sensory sensitivity- I do not like bright rooms. There are still times when I have to question if I’m hermiting away for a reason or to hide from the brights.

  22. Professor Fate

    Sharper than a serpents tooth is an uneaten bag of cookies. Shame, Ruth, shame.

    1. Reltzik

      And they’re gingersnaps, so they’re extra sharp.

  23. Teddae

    dammit stop giving me carla feels, those are the worst kind of feels

  24. LimeSheep

    dangit ruth think about the cookies

    1. Orion Fury

      She does, that’s the problem.

  25. Charles Phipps

    I think Ruth really needs to get professional help for both her alcohol and depression–including medication. I’m fairly sure that would take her out of the strip, though.

    1. Reltzik

      It probably WOULDN’T. Professional help these days doesn’t usually involve commitment, and she can probably get some help from the University at no cost. (Probably not enough help, but some.) She’d get to keep being a student.

      But she likely WOULDN’T get to keep being an RA. The records for university psych services aren’t always as separate from the rest of the university as one would hope, and even if they were, psychaitrists are required to report patients who are a threat to others’ femurs.

      On the bright side, if she lost her RA job, she and Billie could get back together. That would probably improve her mood from depressed to murderous.

      1. Charles Phipps

        Is there any reason whatsoever other than possible poverty that Ruth should be RA?

        1. Reltzik

          A love of exercising power and tyranny and intimidation?

        2. Spencer

          Not really, no. She’s proven capable of doing her job on occasion, but Ruth’s pretty garbage at it.

      2. DinaWho

        If she’s suicidal, though, that could result in a brief involuntary hospitalisation (a week from personal experience). While she wouldn’t be forced out of school necessarily, an absence of that length would put her out of the comic for an extended period of time from our perspective.

        Of course, I think she would be allowed to have visitors, so it might be possible to keep her appearing if Willis decides to go in that direction. Billie and maybe Carla as well could be visitors, and it could be used to find out some more about Ruth’s mysterious home life.

        1. Spencer

          I’m pretty sure at least one of Amber or Ruth will be hospitalized at some point. I’m not sure it’ll be both though, just on account of redundancy.

          Both characters’ mental health problems have escalated beyond the point of self/peer therapy and are in need of professional care, so I’m wonderinghow this is going to play out.

        2. Cerberus

          Yeah, of the two, I think Ruth is most likely to be able to pull through with hospitalization (she’ll still likely need a psychologist and probably more some anti-depressants to cut through the fog) since she seems to recognize the problem and has built methods to try and avoid the follow-through on her near constant suicidal ideation. But I don’t think she can just rely on friends and loved ones to be enough and needs someone who can actually prescribe some fucking drugs all ready.

          Amber, though… maybe it’ll be different when the Amber alter comes back and can analyze the situation, but right now, she’s on route to needing hospitalization to prevent her becoming a pressing threat to herself and others.

        3. StClair

          Agreed on all points.

        4. Spencer

          Yeah, I think with Ruth it’s gonna be something big and bad happening, and then her getting therapy and being put on some meds to help her out. I don’t think seeing Ruth is going to be a longlasting thing for her the way it might be for Amber.

          Amber is gonna need her fiery climactic showdown to the death with Sal for her to realize how bad things have gotten for her, as I think that makes the most sense for her character. That she’s going to have to realize that her golden alter can be kind of a prick, and that her attempts at saving herself from her dad’s poisoning has ended up creating something worse, but at the same time she can also recognize that Amazi-Girl’s strength was also always her. I’m not too convinced we see her become this massive threat, but I think after she and Sal hash it out, we’re gonna see Amber check herself into a hospital for a while so they can teach her some better coping mechanisms. think it’ll be a part of Amber’s arc, moreso for her than Ruth, but I also don’t think it’s going to be something that we see over several years because it doesn’t make for super exciting reading, though maybe that’s just because I’m desperately holding onto the theory that she and Sal join roller derby, and I think involuntary commitment is unlikely, because if the police find out that she’s Amazi-Girl then she kind of has to go to jail for the rest of the comic.

          So, yeah, I think it’ll be significant for both of them, moreso for Amber as I think she’s more in need of assistance, but I don’t think we’re in for Counseling of Age.

  26. Charles Phipps

    At the risk of making a ship no one wants to see, I wonder how Ruth and Dany would get along. Ruth would be a clinically depressed person stuck with someone who took responsiblity for everything. Both are also Linkin Park fans.

    1. Reltzik

      They had something unspecified going in the Walkiverse, so it’s not that hard to imagine. If Danny gets bent out of shape enough she could be his older-woman guide into the world of angst.

    2. Idontcarenomore

      I just can’t see that ship. Not that I say no way. I just don’t see any compatibility for them.
      He has no spine.
      She has a hair trigger…’gimmie your femurs’

      1. Disloyal Subject

        He’s been getting spinier.

    3. John

      It took me until the Linkin Park bit to be sure that you were talking about Danny Wilcox, not Daenerys Targaryen.

    4. trlkly

      If people are worried about Ruth/Billie spiraling into depression, this one is far worse. Billie has fight in her. Danny really doesn’t. Taking what she does and not fighting it would be the end, unless Ruth wound up dumping him the way Amber did.

      (Note, I said Amber, not “Amber.” I know she was “Amazi-Girl” when she dumped him. I’m treating her as one person.)

      1. Dean

        Yeah, Ruth needs someone who’ll stand up to her. Ruth/Joe I can see, maybe.

        1. Spencer

          too many people ignoring the clear objective superiority of ruth/carla smh

    5. nothri

      Nah. Ruth’s got too many issues and Danny doesn’t know how to handle them. It’d basically be like getting flattened by a runaway 18-wheeler.

      1. Slartibeast Button, BIA

        Danny would be too focused on trying to fix the surface problems instead of addressing the underlying issues.

  27. Idontcarenomore

    Danny takes responsibility?

    1. Charles Phipps

      Yes, everything is his fault. He’s a doormat.

    2. Willoughby Chase

      I’m hoping that some day he’ll break free to roam the prairies of Youthful Irresponsibility!

  28. Reltzik

    Carla, Carla, Carla.

    I know you’re focused on the most important element of this scene, that’s fine. But you’re forgetting that Ruth would employ far more efficient and direct ways of hurting you if she actually gave a damn.

    1. Idontcarenomore

      Yes, she’d remove your femurs, her trademark.

      1. JustCheetoDust

        http://www.dumbingofage.com/2016/comic/book-6/02-that-perfect-girl/permissible/

  29. Chandra

    Maybe it’s just because the cookies haven’t been completely devoured but I’m starting to wonder if Ruth’s been eating alright, and should she be letting herself starve then maybe having that breakfast ready for her was a good call on Carla’s part.

    1. Cerberus

      I strongly suspect that Ruth has not eaten anything since yesterday. It gets really hard to take care of basic needs like that when you enter that level of intense depression.

  30. Idontcarenomore

    The cookies are the last thing Billie gave her. She sleeps with them on her side pillow. Hummm.

    And she laid on her bed like that while all the racket went out outdoors and did nothing. No greeting for Carla, like “Wtf do you want”.

    Not good.

  31. Mandy

    Ruth really needs to get some help.

    1. Mandy

      And also really needs to drink the juice that Carla brought her.

      1. Reltzik

        And also needs to severely beat Mary in a way that leaves no marks, with the message of “if you get me fired, I’ll come back and do a hundred times worse.”

        …. not necessarily as therapy, just on general principle.

        1. Idontcarenomore

          Agree.

        2. Idontcarenomore

          I think they are stalemated, though Mary is not aware of it because she cant believe she’s ever wrong.

          Mary knows about Ruth’s drinking and her rooming with Billie. Ruth kicked Billie out, broke her heart. But got her out of the mess, and kicked Mary’s legs out from under her. So now all Mary has is Ruth’s drinking, which may be hard to prove to the office and her reports of her roommate, which no one ‘offically’ on the dorm knew about. She will say Ruth is a lousy RA. Fair there.

          Mary tried to physically harm Carla by doing the glue booby trap in the hall. She called her names. She also made other sexual slurs against others on the floor.
          All which could get her kicked out of the dorm, maybe school.

          When it come down to supporting either of them, I think Ruth would get the support.

        3. Reltzik

          I don’t think the school would take an either-or approach.

          Also, Mary’s hit Ruth hard and it hurt. Ruth keeps getting out from under Mary’s thumb… marginally… but hasn’t ever landed a single blow back. This is hardly a stalemate. This is Ruth completely and totally on the defensive and Mary still managing to hurt her.

        4. Cerberus

          Yeah, in reality, there’s not much Mary can hit her with. The last one is really the alcoholism and it’ll take a week of really not backsliding and so dealing with worst level depression without that liquid courage aid to hide as thoroughly as everything else.

          However, none of that matters, Mary’s biggest threat has always been exploiting Ruth’s depression and how seriously Ruth takes the idea of being a good RA (not that she has the mental spoons to actually fulfill that idea) and staying RA and using that to terrorize her.

          Ruth’s RA style has always relied on downstairs never being involved enough to care about her many downsides, so the threat that they could investigate at any time and see her non-functionally depressed or in a non-approved relationship with one of her charges or under-aged drinking keeps her fearful of Mary and allows Mary to continue to heap homophobic abuse at her every time they meet.

          And it’s “brilliant” as a terrorism tactic, because even when Mary loses all her leverage, Ruth is still depressive enough that Mary can just continue to hammer on the “terrible RA” point in order to keep getting Ruth to do the hard work of roasting herself over the coals for it.

        5. Orion Fury

          S`why my manager kept a phone book around.

  32. timemonkey

    Take the cookies back and leave her.

    1. Slartibeast Button, BIA

      I think taking the cookies would be the quickest way to summon Murdery-Ruthless*.

      * With implied nakedity in the transformation sequence.

  33. brionl

    Now Ruth is listening to this:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qU7HTgAAgQc

  34. magicallady

    i wonder whats going through ruth’s head rn

    1. Idontcarenomore

      Billie. Waiting for Mary to try her blackmail.

      1. Reltzik

        Actually, magicallady, it’s the above poster’s handle and avatar caption.

    2. Kris

      Obviously she’s running through the best hits of the 1980’s! She’s currently at “Take on Me” by a-ha.

      1. Needfuldoer

        Complete with over-the-top morning show DJ.

        HEH-HEY We got Cheeseburger in Paradise coming up at the top of the hour!

    3. StClair

      It’s a still black pool, of unknown depths, in a dark cave.
      Every now and then, a drop collects at the tip of one of the stalactites above and falls. Spreading ripples and an echoing plik that swiftly fade, leaving darkness and stillness once again.

      1. StClair

        (Sounds almost peaceful, doesn’t it? Like death. Not dying, no. But being dead.)

    4. Rycan

      Let’s just say you don’t want to experience it firsthand.

  35. Zatar

    Carla’s angry faces are the best thing ever.

    1. DSL

      Angry? To me, that last panel is a picture of someone who’s *thisclose* to bursting into tears.

  36. Lunias

    I see what you did there.

  37. Some1

    those dot eyes look strangely familiar….wait a sec…

    Oh…oh no

    http://vignette2.wikia.nocookie.net/pokemon/images/e/ed/Ditto_1.png/revision/latest?cb=20150804030410

    1. trlkly

      It must’ve taken the ride over from Jeph Jacques’s comics. He hasn’t snuck one in for a while now.

      1. Roborat

        Don’t you mean Randy Milholland?

    2. inqntrol

      Ruth is a Pokemon has been confirmed.

  38. Reltzik

    Okay I figured it out! This isn’t depressing at all! Everything’s all bright and happy, except the room, which is comfortably and relaxingly dim!

    Ruth isn’t starving herself to death in despondent depression! On the contrary, she’s entered into a zen-like state of heightened meditation, wherein she is plotting Mary’s demise! This explains everything — the decreased need for sustenance, the calm acceptance of intruders into her room, the inability to register someone knocking at her door and even an immunity to the smell of bacon.

    After another two days of this, Ruth will implement a plan that will have Mary expelled from school forever and probably covered in mud. Next quarter, Becky will be Roz’s new roommate, and Ruth and Billie will work out some arrangement wherein Billie moves to a different hallway and so “dating” is allowed again. IT’S THE PERFECT WIN FOR EVERYONE WHOSE FEELINGS MATTER!

  39. DarkoNeko

    You’re letting those cookies to rot just to slander my hard work, aren’t you ?

  40. Showler

    That first panel seems to express an opinion exactly opposite many readers’.

  41. fang shinobi

    Gasp, does this mean Carla CARES?

  42. trlkly

    The cookie thing is still a depression thing, even with the “keeping stuff to remember Billie” part. Because she could always eat all but one. Or just keep the bag with crumbs in it.

    1. Cerberus

      Yup, she’s beating herself up with them. Like to actually eat one would be to feel like it was more and more true that she lost Billie and besides she can’t even bother with the effort.

  43. Bagge

    Ruth: “What? I got it, just me and my only friend in the world, the cookies, chilling in a dark room.”

    1. inqntrol

      “Reflecting on the meaning of life….and if ginger snaps are better than chocolate chips”

  44. SDGlyph

    Given that it was kind of a big (character) deal when Willis started drawing the colour in Ruth’s eyes, I’m thinking its sudden absence is less than good.

    1. Aria

      I never noticed this. When did Willis first add color to her eyes?

      1. Spencer

        After Billie found her drunk in her room.

  45. NinjaNick

    I kind of like Ruth’s blank look. Aw, poor Carla.

  46. Rycan

    At least she isn’t happy and at peace – and no, I’m not being sarcastic. Depression is just that insidious of a disease.

    1. Cerberus

      Yeah, that would be a sign that she’s got a full suicide plan that she’s following through on. In this, she’s at least got the depressed lethargy keeping her from being able to focus on anything long enough to make and stick to a plan.

  47. 3-I

    Carla continues to be my hero.

  48. ScarvesandCelery

    Poor anxious cookies.

    1. DonDueed

      Don’t feel bad, the cookies are fine. It’s the bag that’s anxious.

  49. OnyxIdol

    Ruth reminds me of Wally in Monkey Island 2 after you take his monocle away.

  50. Gamaran Sepudomyn

    For those who need to be cheered up right now, I’d like to remind you that someone’s finally making an accurate dinosaur game.

  51. Willoughby Chase

    Hitting me in all the feels, Willis ya bastard:((

  52. Stairmasternem

    Somehow this is the scariest Ruth has ever been.

  53. Slartibeast Button, BIA

    On the advice of my cookies, I have no statement at this time.

  54. BenRG

    Carla, drag her out of there right now because I’ve got a horrible feeling that she’s trying to will herself to death.

    1. StClair

      That would require will, action, executive function.
      Merely lying there until she fades away from dehydration etc does not.

      1. Slartibeast Button, BIA

        Yeah, willing yourself to death is too much effort.

      2. BenRG

        But we agree that this is suicidal behaviour, no matter how passively expressed?

        1. StClair

          or “just” paralyzing depression

          if the distinction matters

          to anyone

  55. Inspector Hound

    Every time I walk down a certain grocery store aisle, I give bags and bags of cookies anxiety.

    (Responding to hover text is … odd.]

  56. Spencer

    stop being depressed ruth

    youre being such a bummer

  57. Deanatay

    On a completely unrelated note, does Walky know about Mac ‘n’ Cheetos yet? Seems like definite Walky food.

    1. RandomRedMage

      walky strikes me as the type that would take ramen noodles cheezits squeeze cheeze, cheetoes and doritoes and make something with it.

  58. Robbzilla

    Carla is such a simple being at heart. Bless her.

  59. Tenn

    i’m scared

  60. Tomas

    “Are you the Key Master?”

  61. Jason

    Forth panel Ruth is genuinely creepy as all hell to me. If Willis was aiming for her feeling soulless and blank, he got it. She looks ready to devour my soul.

    Given my own experiences with depression and kind of giving up, though, this hits very close to home and is a bit heartbreaking.

  62. Will

    So when did Ruth last ate? Does she keep food in her room?

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