295

Rule
Posted on August 10, 2011 by David M Willis

295 thoughts on “Rule”

  1. Aizat

    Second rule of motorcycle, do not talk about the motorcycle.

    1. David Herbert

      Joyce breaks it too much, which is why she can’t ride.

  2. Mkvenner

    Did Sal break the fourth wall?

    1. David

      …I’m not sure how?

    2. Aizat

      I think Sal was doing the classic aside glance or just experience fridge horror.

      1. meanderling

        I haven’t got a clue how we’d know Sal was doing an Aside Glance but YMMV.

        1. A. Colunga

          3rd panel – Her helmet is only so slightly asskeeww to us.

        2. 1Samildanach

          Doesn’t help that the helmet doesn’t look quite right.

          The front is a bit flat, I think (especially in the last panel).

      2. Jackson

        When you can’t look back at Billie because you’re driving the motorcycle, you do the best you can.

        1. Izzy

          ^^This

    3. SolegitRR

      Gotta remember that full-face motorcycles have limited peripheral vision. I commonly make that kind of movement when I’m glancing back at a passenger. It’s either that or lean way to the side and pivot your hips enough to look directly at them, which – while fun – sometimes can be disconcerting to said passenger.

  3. Deuecebag

    Seriously Billie, major party foul.

  4. Tom

    That went well, didn’t it? >.>

  5. Sakimei

    I found the third panel oddly more adorable than creepy. D:

  6. Plasma Mongoose

    Third Rule: The vibrations are sooo good.

    1. Aizat

      4th Rule: There is no 6th rule.

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        Fifth Rule: See Rule 3.

        1. Mkvenner

          7th Rule: Do not put your face against the rear wheel.

        2. Mkvenner

          8th Rule: Do not use the cursed sacred native american burial ground behind the pet semetary.

        3. Mkvenner

          9th-18th Rules: See Rule 3.

        4. Aizat

          Rule 19: You DO NOT talk about motorcycles.

        5. Mkvenner

          Rule 20: Ignore Rule 19.

        6. Mkvenner

          Rule 21: Tea Partiers ARE Daleks.

        7. Aizat

          Rule 21: Object in mirror is right behind you.

        8. Aizat

          Rule 22: Yes, there is two Rule 21.

        9. Mkvenner

          Rule 23: Do not leave flaming dog poo on Cthulhu’s doorstep.

        10. Mkvenner

          Rule 24: Marcie is DA BOMB.

        11. Aizat

          Rule 24: Walking shirtless does not make you manly, kicking skyscrapers or breaking a sword by just flexing your pex do.

          Addendum: If you are a woman, expect some pervert spying you and shoot him. NO EXCEPTIONS.

        12. Plasma Mongoose

          And as always, Rule 34 also applies.

        13. nothri

          Rule 62: There’s more than one rule 58.

        14. Aizat

          Rule 25: There’s 2 Rule 24 too.

        15. Mkvenner

          Rule 26: DO NOT cross the Doctor.

        16. Aizat

          Rule 27: Don’t cross a Saiyan either.

        17. Mkvenner

          Rule 28: Know your Human Rights.

        18. Mkvenner

          Rule 29: Never hit/beat a woman.

        19. Aizat

          Rule 30: Vampires do not glitter in the sunlight. Those that do are not actually vampires but just a bunch of posers.

        20. Mkvenner

          Rule 30: Capybaras are God.

        21. Mkvenner

          Rule 31: Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition.

        22. Aizat

          Rule 32: Anything from Ancient Egypt is inherently evil.

        23. Mkvenner

          Rule 32: Human’s are not logical or rational.

        24. Mkvenner

          Rule 33: see Rule 34.

        25. Mkvenner

          Rule 34: Rule 34.

        26. Mkvenner

          Rule 35: A good Nazi is a dead Nazi.

        27. Mkvenner

          Rule 36: Cutting Never solves anything.

        28. Mkvenner

          Rule 37: Times change, you need to change as well.

        29. Mkvenner

          Rule 38: Don’t get caught pissing in the public pool.

        30. Mkvenner

          Rule 39: Wear silly hats.

        31. Mkvenner

          Rule 40: Make up rules.

        32. Aizat

          Rule 41: When recruiting pilots for a giant robot, make sure your pilot does not have any psychological trauma.

        33. Aizat

          Rule 42: For any aspiring writers, don’t write a story while you are depressed.
          Addendum: And don’t make your main character a complete whining pansy and the ending a complete nonsense.

        34. MrGBH

          Rule 43: Never look directly at the camera.

        35. Aizat

          Rule 44: Attack it’s weak point for massive damage.

        36. Amarula

          Rule 45: no member of the faculty is to maltreat the students in any way whatsoever – if there’s anybody watching.

        37. Aizat

          Rule 46: For a good time, call XXX-XXXXXXXXX.

        38. Mkvenner

          Rule 47: If you want something done right kill Baldrick before you start.

        39. Mkvenner

          Rule 48: Common sense is not always right. This is not up for debate.

        40. Mkvenner

          Rule 49: They are not laughing with you they are laughing at you.

        41. Mkvenner

          Rule 50: All public officials must under go three psych-evals. No crazies allowed.

        42. Mkvenner

          Rule 51: In case of sports-related rioting participation in mandatory.

        43. Mkvenner

          Rule 52: Judge a person by what they do and by who listen’s to them.

        44. Aizat

          Rule 53: Incest is not wincest no matter what people say .

        45. Aizat

          Rule 54: Tiers are for cowards and sissies. They make other characters for a reason, you know.

        46. Aizat

          Rule 55: Kamille’s a man’s name and he is a man.

        47. Aizat

          Rule 56: Emotionless girls are not cute or hot in the slightest. They are as creepy as a marionette and therefore should be called marionettes instead.

        48. MrGBH

          Rule 57: Every rule has an exception. Except for this one.

        49. Aizat

          Rule 57: If your lawn gnomes get repossessed, do not dress your son or daughter as one and make them stand outside the house. Chances are they grow to become a bitter evil scientist.

        50. Mkvenner

          Rule 58: Sticks and stones may break my bones but names cause multipule cases of acute lead poisoning.

        51. Mkvenner

          Rule 59: Disregard Rule 57.

        52. Aizat

          Rule 58: For the fans out there, if you don’t like an ending to a series, don’t send death threats to the director/creator. Especially if he’s/she’s depressed.

        53. MrGBH

          Rule 58 addendum: Or if s/he’s already deceased.

        54. Aizat

          Rule 60: Don’t whizz on the electric fence.

        55. Mkvenner

          Rule 60: Tea Partiers are racist, homophobic, xenophobic anarchists.

        56. Mkvenner

          Rule 61: Texas ruins it forever one.

        57. Aizat

          Rule 61: Paranormal romance is the reason why Dracula hates humans.

        58. Mkvenner

          Rule 61a correction: Texas ruins it for every one.

        59. nothri

          Rule 58: I am the Cheese, your cheese, who brought your people out of the Martian war, and thou shalt have no other Cheeses before me.

        60. Aizat

          Rule 62: Teenage girls should note that making love to a vampire is necrophilia and making love to a werewolf is beastiality. Either way, you are a moron.

        61. Mkvenner

          Rule 62: Eye for an Eye makes the whole world blind.

        62. Aizat

          Rule 63: Need a little excitement? Snap into a Slim Jim. OOOOOOHHHHHH YEEEEAAAAHHHHH!!!!!

        63. MrGBH

          Rule 66: There is no such thing as too many rules.

        64. Mkvenner

          Rule 63: Only the feeble minded believe conspiracy theories.

          Rule 64: Ignore nothri.

        65. nothri

          Rule 135: If everyone types faster than you, just skip ahead.

        66. Mkvenner

          Rule 65: We are all responsible. No exceptions end of discusion.

        67. Aizat

          Rule 64: There’s only one logical explanation for some situations: FAIRY GODPARENTS!

        68. Mkvenner

          Rule 67: What someon does with there body is nobody else’s buisness.

        69. Aizat

          Rule 66: If you want to kick ass, it’s customary to quote Duke Nukem or Ash from Evil Dead.

        70. Mkvenner

          Rule 68: Human nature is only logical if you throw logic out the window.

        71. Aizat

          Rule 68: Quote Scarface when you have any weapon in hand.

        72. Aizat

          Rule 69: When there’s a giant robot in your story, throw logic out the window and have some fun.

        73. Mkvenner

          Rule 69: You can figure it out. 😉

        74. Aizat

          Rule 70: If you have to explain the joke, there is no joke.

        75. Mkvenner

          Rule 70: There are more things in heavan and earth than have been dreamt of in your philosophy, Horatio.

        76. Mkvenner

          Rule 71: A masterbation a day keeps prostate cancer away.

        77. MrGBH

          Rule 51: Sometimes you’re wrong.

        78. Aizat

          Rule 71: The Big O will have a season 3 when Japan stops making moe crap.

        79. Mkvenner

          Rule 72: A vote for Republicans is a one way ticket to eternal damnation.

        80. Aizat

          Rule 72: Cloud is not emo, Squall is. So stop calling the guy who kicked Sephiroth’s ass emo.

        81. Aizat

          Rule 73: If Square Enix were smart, they’d make Balthier the main character in FF12.

        82. Mkvenner

          Rule 73: You are more a man when you admit you were wrong, apologize and make restitutions.

        83. Aizat

          Rule 74: Moe and harem is crap that pushed awesome animes aside to give the otakus something to fap to.

        84. Aizat

          Rule 75: If you are in an argument, apologize so the other side looked like a prick.

        85. Mkvenner

          Rule 74: No taxes=no rights and freedoms.

        86. Aizat

          Rule 76: There is no way out of here, it’ll be dark soon.There is no way out of here.

        87. Mkvenner

          Rule 76: Do not argue with football hooligins, it is bad for your health.

        88. Aizat

          Rule 77: When you’re out camping and you hear banjos, GET THE HELL OUT OF THERE!

        89. Mkvenner

          Rule 77: Conservatives oppose abortion so than can have more live babies to grow up to be dead soldiers.

        90. Aizat

          Rule 78: When you have to decide whether to save a dieing aunt who lived a long life and give away your marriage or save your marriage and let your aunt who lived a long life die, choose the latter. If you choose the former,you’re Joe Quesada.

        91. Mkvenner

          Rule 79: Freedom is a state of mind.

        92. Mkvenner

          Rule 80: The dead do not forget and they do not forgive.

        93. Mkvenner

          Rule 81: Nothing humans do is logical.

        94. Aizat

          Rule 79: Justin Beiber looked like a girl and sound like a girl and most people cheered when he got shot in that one CSI episode.

        95. nothri

          Rule 84: THERE ARE FOUR LIGHTS

        96. Mkvenner

          Rule 82: Pay the piper.

        97. Aizat

          Rule 80: Current American cartoon is currently more enjoyable than anime for the time being.

        98. Mkvenner

          Rule 83: The Beatles are bigger than Jesus Christ.

        99. Mkvenner

          Rule 84: THERE ARE FIVE LIGHTS.

        100. Aizat

          Rule 83: If you lost to Shao Khan in Mortal Kombat, it’s customary to yell out “KHAAAAAN!”

        101. Mkvenner

          Rule 85: Do not pet rabid animals.

        102. Aizat

          Rule 85: Ben Sisko is a badass.

        103. Mkvenner

          Rule 100: Pay David Willis CAD$2.
          USD$ < CAD$

        104. Mkvenner

          Rule 86: There is no Rapture.

        105. Aizat

          Rule 86: It’s the year 2011 but where are the flying cars? I was promised flying cars. I don’t see any flying cars! Why? Why? Why?

        106. Mkvenner

          Rule 101: Pay Randy Milholland CAD$3.

        107. Aizat

          Rule 87: Ninjas should not be seen or heard. That means you, Naruto.

        108. Mkvenner

          Rule 87: The Inuit have a solution to any problem.

        109. Aizat

          Rule 88: When faced with a decision, always sleep on it.

        110. Aizat

          Rule 89: The reason Super Robots got shoved to OVA status is because of Moe. In other words, blame Moe for everything anime related.

        111. Aizat

          Rule 90: G Gundam is the awesomest Gundam anime ever. NO EXCEPTIONS.

        112. Mkvenner

          Rule 90: There is always an option C.

        113. Aizat

          Rule 91: Light novels should stay as light novels.

        114. Mkvenner

          Rule 91: Gundam SEED is the second awesomest Gundam anime ever. NO EXCEPTIONS.

        115. Aizat

          Rule 92: Harem, moe and mecha do not mix.

        116. Aizat

          Rule 93: Everyone agree that Gundam Seed DESTINY sucked.

        117. Aizat

          Rule 94: Hippies should not be piloting a giant robot.

        118. Mkvenner

          Rule 92: Vote Yes for Unions.

        119. Aizat

          Rule 95:No matter what people say, Batman can take down Superman.

        120. Aizat

          Rule 96: Giant drills do not makes a man manly.

        121. Aizat

          Rule 97: Harem anime are for basement dwellers.

        122. Mkvenner

          Rule 95: Don’t tuant the homicidial psychopath.

        123. Aizat

          Rule 98: SPOOOON! is one of the best battlecry ever.

        124. Aizat

          Rule 99: Do not taunt Cthulhu. Flipping Cthulhu the bird is exceptable.

        125. Mkvenner

          Rule 98: If you do not vote you have no right to complain.

        126. Aizat

          Rule 102: Big Balls is one of the funniest songs ever.

        127. Mkvenner

          Rule 102: Do not F*** a corpse.

        128. Aizat

          Rule 103: If your elected official fucks up, it’s the fault of the voters that vote him.

        129. Mkvenner

          Rule 103: God is on Switzerland’s side.

        130. Mkvenner

          Rule 104: No means No.

        131. Aizat

          Rule 104: In zombie apocalypse, the first thing you and your friends need to do is survive and not thinking about making love. That means you, Highschool of the Dead.

        132. Aizat

          Rule 105: You’re allowed to hate Haruhi Suzumiya.

        133. Aizat

          Rule 106: If you think GLaDOS has a sexy voice, I don’t blame you.

        134. Mkvenner

          Rule 104b: Yes means anal.

        135. Aizat

          Rule 107: Highlander only have one movie and two TV shows. The Quickening? What is that?

        136. Mkvenner

          Rule 110: Do not tuant the undead.

        137. Aizat

          Rule 108: Richter Belmont is the Chuck Norris of the Belmont clan.

        138. Mkvenner

          Rule 111: Do not read the Necronomicon aloud.

        139. Aizat

          Rule 109: There is no such thing as an American dub of Mazinger Z.

        140. Mkvenner

          Rule 112: DO NOT tuant Chuck Norris.

          Rule 113: See Rule 112.

          Rule 114: Do not tuant Mr. T.

        141. Mkvenner

          Rule 115: Do Not give you money to televangelists.

          Rule 116: Give your money to UNICEF.

        142. Aizat

          Rule 112: Uso Evin is more manly than Shinji Ikari.

        143. Mkvenner

          Rule 117: Anything can be solved with the right amount and placement of plastic exsplosives.

        144. Mkvenner

          Rule 120: Give David Willis CAD$10.

        145. Aizat

          Rule 117: Do not taunt Batman

          Rule 118: Do not taunt The Joker

          Rule 119: Do not taunt Godzilla

        146. Mkvenner

          Rule 121-130: Repeat rule 120.

        147. Aizat

          Rule 121: Play Dead or Alive with both hands, you twit.

        148. Aizat

          Rule 122: What’ca gonna do when Hulkamania runs wild on you? RUN LIKE HELL.

        149. Mkvenner

          Rule 131: Don’t make a crack about Superman being fast than a speeding bullet. Unless your Chuck Norris or the offspring of Chuck Norris.

        150. Aizat

          Addendum to rule 131: Or you’re Richter Belmont.

          Rule 132: Ryoma Nagare is the manlier than Kamina. NO EXCEPTIONS.

        151. Mkvenner

          Rule 132: Pay Randy Milholland CAD$20.

          Rule 133: Repeat Rule 132 twenty times.

        152. Mkvenner

          Rule 134: Spay and neuter your catgirl. They breed faster than rabbits and they are fuck deadly.

        153. Mkvenner

          Rule 134: Don’t stick your dick in it.

        154. Aizat

          Rule 135: If you found a robot girl in the garbage, leave it be.

        155. Aizat

          Rule 136: Make sure you have a backup of everything, just in case.

        156. Aizat

          Rule 137: Don’t build anything that gives electric shock to anyone especially yourself.

        157. Aizat

          Rule 138: Do not make fun of a black belt with a girl’s name.

        158. Jackson

          Rule 139: Holy crap you guys

        159. nothri

          Rule 140: If you have principle so vital to you that you aren’t willing to compromise them an inch even if it means letting everything else breakdown, you have ceased to be a part of the democratic process and have begun being a despot.

          Rule 141: People who continue threads long after everyone else has stopped paying attention to them are lame.

        160. 1Samildanach

          Sixth Rule: Do not lube with the engine running (unless you want to lose fingers). Spin it with your hands, you lazy bastard.

          And yes, I did read Rule 4.

        161. Mkvenner

          19th Rule: There is no Rule 19.

        162. Aizat

          Darn it, I already wrote rule 19.

        163. MacGravatar

          “Aizat
          August 10, 2011 at 3:04 am | #
          Rule 41: When recruiting pilots for a giant robot, make sure your pilot does not have any psychological trauma.”

          Is this a reference to the first Dark Cloud game with the Sun Giant? pic: http://lparchive.org/Dark-Cloud/Update%2025/12-fd092dc607.jpg

          Pilot I’m thnking of:
          Boon: A giant pilot. Sissy who always needs company

        164. Aizat

          Actually, I was referencing Shinji Ikari.

        165. Mkvenner

          Sorry the Managment said I got rule 19 wrong.

        166. Aizat

          Which rule 57?

        167. 1Samildanach

          PS. Anyone who knows what I’m talking about gets an internet high-five.

        168. ALostProphet

          Zen and the art of motorcycle maintenance?

        169. 1Samildanach

          Nah, mostly just common sense and motorcycle maintenance. Basically, I’m giving out high-fives to anyone who rides and has half a brain :P.

        170. Tex

          I actualy know a guy from a ride I did in Arkansas who just lost the tip of his finger while greasing the chain w/ his motor going. And hes not a Noob at bikes either… just lazy I spose.

        171. tahrey

          Alternatively you use an oil can with a long nozzle on it, preferably with a squirty-trigger than can be gently squeezed to just dribble a little out at a time… (80w90 gear oil FTW)

          That or blow a load of money on a Scottoiler if you’re, like, serious about things.

          No need for your fingers to be near the chain at all (I learned that lesson well, messing with a pedal bike when i was MUCH younger… luckily it was old and had a lot of slack in it), or to get hands/gloves dirty spinning the wheel manually.

    2. Joebo

      Look at what you’ve done. I hope you’re proud of yourself.

  7. iSaidCandleja-

    It’s even more awkward when you realize the sexual tension between Billie and your twin brother has just been transferred to you.

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      That works for me. 😀

      1. NCP19

        I second that!

        1. NCP19

          And my grav’s Jason. Fantastic.

        2. Zaratustra

          yes

    2. dchorror

      I’ll probably hate saying this when I wake up, but who says she can’t have it with both?

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        Twincest huh?

        1. Chupi

          Is it still twincest if the twins themselves don’t touch each other? I would figure that would qualify for “it’s okay when it’s in a three-way.”

        2. Plasma Mongoose

          The only way to avoid the twincest is for Billie to remain as the meat in the sandwich at all times.

        3. dchorror

          Are we opposed to this?

        4. Plasma Mongoose

          Only if two headed babies are the result.

        5. dchorror

          I meant Billie always being the meat.

      2. tahrey

        YAY TWINCEST
        IN FACT, DCH, WE’RE DOING IT RIGHT NOW

    3. Björn

      Is there sexual tension between Billie and Walky?

      1. dchorror

        Some of us like to think there is.

  8. Bickendan

    If they were actually riding, how loud was Billie shouting to be heard over the bike and wind?

    1. Xalticus

      She wouldn’t need to be shouting, as her mouth is literally only a few inches away from Sal’s ear, an ear that is protected from the sound of the wind due to being inside of a helmet, as for the sound of the motorcycle itself, they only tend to be really loud when first starting up or stationary, when in motion your ears tend to accommodate toward the sound and it becomes hardly even noticeable making it rather easy to hear whoever is riding ‘bongo’.

    2. 1Samildanach

      Noise from the bike depends on the engine, the muffler (main factor), and what you’re doing with it. Stock pipes tend to be pretty quiet, so it would only be really loud if she’s modified stuff. And even then, a lot of aftermarket kit doesn’t add volume so much as improve the sound (unless you pull out the baffles…). If they’re coasting through the uni campus, Sal wouldn’t be pushing the bike at all hard — it wouldn’t be doing much more than idling, really.

      Wind noise is actually the bigger problem, a lot of the time. But, if we continue with the assumption that they’re going relatively slowly, it wouldn’t be that loud.

      So I’m willing to believe she’d be audible. But I’ve got zero experience with pillions, so I can’t confirm one way or the other.

    3. Tex

      I can usually understand what my wifes saying when were going 45 mph and we both wear full helmets. Granted I ride a suzuki S40 (650cc) so its not very loud.

      1. tahrey

        Rats, does that mean the £10 I spent on a cheapo rider intercom system was a waste? 🙂 (I have a honda 125, lol)

        Seeing as they’re just going from one place on campus to another, probably a mile or so (3 minutes on bike, 18 on foot = 15 min difference 😉 – places and/or areas of town that don’t tend to have high speed limits – Sal might not be taking it much over 25-30mph, in which case wind and engine noise are pretty minor things, especially if you have a bigger engine (lower revs, less throttle, much more muffling than a small one). Her gunning the engine and skidding to a halt could be just for show.

  9. Jen Aside

    I keep thinking of Celty Sturluson.

    …

    Willis, how much do I have to pay you to put cat ears on Sal’s helmet? XD

  10. Makkabee

    Trying to start a new shipping frenzy, are you Willis?

    1. Undrave

      Like he actually needs to TRY!

      1. Aizat

        Do or do not, there is no try.

        1. Aizat

          However shiptease is A-OK.

    2. ProtonCon

      How Shipping Works by ProtonCon

      Fan: OH GOD THOSE TWO CHARACTERS WERE IN THE SAME PANEL! OTP!!

      1. Gordon

        How Shipping Works by Protoncon, the Revised Edition, with Foreword by Gordon

        Foreword:
        Fandom changes, and so much our understanding of it. – Gordon

        Fans: Those two characters exist! OMG! OTP!

        1. Gordon

          Ahem…this copy didn’t make it to the editor on time, so it was rushed.

          must*

    3. Hitoshi

      It only takes a second for a pair to be shipped.

  11. Ridureyu

    Well, it’s time to christen a new ship.

    Anybody got a bottle of champagne?

    1. iSaidCandleja-

      Sorry, all out of champagne. Will a bottle of lube work?

      1. The HellJack

        Lube always works!

      2. NF

        Seeing as this is Billie and Sal, a bottle of hard liquor or cheap beer seems more apropos.

  12. Ragnal

    Everyone marries everyone. THE END.

    Let’s just get it out of the way, shall we? 😛

  13. Plasma Mongoose

    It’s only awkward if either/both of you were turned on by the experience.

    Cooling showers are in order.

    1. iSaidCandleja-

      So it’s only awkward when the Third Rule is not in effect?

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        The awkwardness is squared when Rule 3 is NOT in effect.

  14. A. Colunga

    It’s only awkward when one of you is covered from head to toe in a leather outfit… oh…

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      and when the other one is wearing nothing but LATHER, the awkwardness goes through the roof.

      1. A. Colunga

        In the words of George Takei, “Oh my..”

        1. Plasma Mongoose

          OH MY indeed!

      2. Aizat

        *Howls like a wolf*

      3. Mkvenner

        🙂 😀 🙂 😀 🙂 😀 🙂 😀

  15. Shifty

    Billie, you should know better. First you get some drink in her, THEN you make the awkward pick-up lines.

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      I can totally see Sal being the Jack Daniels & Coke sort of gal.

      1. Shifty

        Naw, judging by her motorcycle, she seems more Vodka and Red Bull. Jack and Coke is more for the stereotypical Harley Davidson rebels.

      2. LeaLeonis

        Judging by Sal’s behaviour, I’d say she’s most likely the Vodka & Vodka kind of girl, plus extra Vodka for the taste.Vashe zdorovie!

  16. NF

    Am I the only one who wonders how Sal fits all her hair inside her helmet?

    1. Shifty

      She might put her coat over the long hair. I have a friend who does that when he’s riding his motorcycle with a companion.

  17. Undrave

    Shouldn’t Billie be wearing a helmet?

    1. Daeva

      Well, yes, but where would she get one? I don’t think Sal is accustomed to passengers.

    2. Tex

      depends on the state, a lot of states dont have helmet laws or they have nearly unenforceable helmet laws. Also on across campus trips if all you really have to worry about are bike cops you dont really have to worry.

      1. tahrey

        I’m more bothered about the potential harm than legal trouble, and hopefully that’s Undrave’s point as well.

        You’re quite high up on that thing, and less able to catch yourself should you fall vs, say, a pedal cycle. It’s perfectly possible to catch a fatal head injury falling off whilst the bike is at a full halt. The helmet’s not there to protect you from slamming into a wall, it’s to protect you against gravity.

      2. tahrey

        Or in other words: first time you’ve been on one of those, with a driver who’s probably unaccustomed to taking a pillion – is it worth saving 15 minutes?

        To be fair, Sal could’ve lent Billie her helmet…

    3. tudza

      Yeah, she should be wearing a helmet. Is this a no-helmet state or something?

  18. Wix

    Oh well, at least she couldn’t make it awkward the way guys make it awkward.

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      With their reproductive organs.

      1. Joebo

        Oh she could have, she could have started moaning.

        1. Mkvenner

          😀 🙂 😀 🙂 😀 🙂 😀

        2. Plasma Mongoose

          Your grav fits so well for this comment.

  19. TomatoClone

    The ship has left the docks and set sail for a new land.

  20. CranJKuris

    I am now entertaining the notion of getting a motorcycle just to be able to pick up girls.

    1. Joebo

      Literally. Isn’t that why man invented the motorcycle in the first place?

      1. tahrey

        Probably … it’s not worked for me so far though. Could be that I need something with a bigger engine though. (Size matters… :D)

  21. Tex

    @1Samildanach I actualy know a guy from a ride I did in Arkansas who just lost the tip of his finger while greasing the chain w/ his motor going. And hes not a Noob at bikes either…

    1. tahrey

      All you really needed to say there was “Arkansas”.

      He was probably rubbing it in by hand, taking a day off from applying it with his tongue.

      Last can of chain-suitable oil I bought came with a 4-inch long dropper nozzle built into it… I’m not sure what the guys who are poking their fingers into the works are actually doing.

  22. Joebo

    I’m sorry, but the concept of a vehicle who’s only method of restraint is… oh that’s right, there is no method of restraint. You’re riding directly on top of a machine that utilizes controlled explosions to propel you forward. There isn’t anything dangerous about that!

    1. Joebo

      And don’t forget the narrow base and high center of gravity, nothing could possibly go wrong with that.

      1. CP

        Actual statistical analysis doesn’t bear this out, though. In an average year, a car is more than three times as likely to be in a collision than a motorcycle, and out of all collisions, a car is almost 22% more likely to result in injury.

        Granted, the likelihood of an injury being fatal is less than half as likely in a car than a motorcycle, but the fact remains that the actual statistics show that you are, overall, safer riding a motorcycle than a car.

        1. dchorror

          It helps that everyone who actually rides a motorcycle is well aware that a crash is far more deadlier to them and that nobody on the road is paying attention to them, so they have to be more careful and attentive as well.

          Most motorcycle accidents can be attributed to dumbasses and inattentive auto owners.

      2. CP

        I should qualify that the average motorcycle is ridden a lot less than the average car. I didn’t actually account for the fact that any given car is likely to average 6 times the actual number of miles traveled over a given year. Which is to say, if you measure in accidents per mile instead of accidents per year, motorcycles accidents are more 5 times as likely as car accidents.

        So anyway, egg on my face and all.

      3. 1Samildanach

        The majority of people who ride know the risks :shrug:. And at the end of the day, if someone is fully compos mentis and makes an informed decision to put themselves (and no-one else) in danger, do other people really have any right to stop them?

        I realise that you were probably speaking only for yourself, but I figured it’d be worth throwing that out there (you know, seize the opportunity for propaganda and all that…).

      4. tahrey

        Actually, as it relies on gyroscopic. pendulum and processionary effects to stay upright and steer, a bike is MORE stable with a HIGHER centre of gravity. Further to fall (in fact, a wider arc), so more time to correct the mistake, and inputs can be smoother.

        If that bothers you, then for gawds sakes don’t ride a push cycle, they’re FAR more unstable… the working parts are more exposed and easier to get tangled up in… and the brakes and tyres (and lights) are generally quite inferior. Plus if you get slammed against an obstacle by another vehicle, those thin tubes are going to have a better chance of busting your bones than the sheet metal of a motorcycle.

        (plus you’ll be wearing an inferior quality helmet, and probably nothing in the way of skin/joint protection that’s built into most decent biker clothing)

        And since when has the “box full of explosions underneath you” thing ever stopped anyone? Plus, think of how many people STILL prefer to drive around without a seatbelt on (yikes…)

        All the same, you do have a point that it’s a more dangerous thing. Hence why I wear my helmet (5* rated in government tests) and gloves (RST Pro’s – well worth the cash) every time, and “armoured” jacket, pants and boots almost every time unless it’s an emergency-type trip (donning them does add an extra minute or so to proceedings). Not least because that protects against hypothermia….

        I’m not sure where the idea that it’s actually overall “safer” is coming from – I’d have to ask the guys saying that to bring out some statistics. It may well be that there are overall a lot less riders killed/seriously injured each year vs car drivers, but by the same token there’s a lot less of us anyway. Less time I saw a stat corrected for the proportion of each vehicle type, going on 2 wheels was something like 12x more likely to land you in ER and/or the morgue.

        Then again, that could be because a lot of people go for a short-as-possible-to-get-a-full-license training course, and go straight out and buy a Hyabusa because they just WANNA GO FAST BRAH… then promptly total it into the side of a bus at 150mph because they had no idea of controlling their speed to a responsible (if not entirely legal) level, anticipating other’s actions, or being able to take avoiding action without falling off. Given I’m riding a commuter bike back and forth to work, my chances are probably about level with someone on a pedal cycle; there are points at which I’m filtering quite quickly and prey to sudden lane changers, or vulnerable to oil patches when making a turn… but on the other hand I have better brakes and clothing, can use expressway type roads (MUCH safer than surface streets), am not being continually overtaken with minimal clearance on hills, and can power my way out of difficulty if required rather than being close to 100% of my muscle capacity at all times.

        Still more dangerous than driving, but probably more like 2-3x rather than 12x … the hooligans push the average up quite badly. And that’s just the risk of having a crash; I have good protection and can’t even go superfast, let alone make a habit of it, so may be at about the same risk of harm as someone driving an older car (…like mine). I’ve had a couple of stupid, life-lesson style accidents so far (too short a follow distance in the wet, ran into the back of a van; fell off when going SLIGHTLY too hard on a greasy corner… etc) and came through alright. Damage to the bike was more the issue than my own quite minor injuries.

        And as Tex says below – your best bet is to jump clear (particularly if you have an engine killswitch system that uses a pullcord attached to your jacket or similar, so the motor stops immediately). Bikes may be lighter than cars but you still don’t want 150kg of metal, rubber and fuel toppling 4ft onto your leg.

    2. Tex

      well theres no method of restraint because your safer if you fall away from the bike in an accident than being strapped to it. Strapped to it you have a lot more momentum thus you hit things harder and slide farther.

      1. Joebo

        I am well aware of the physics of that, and I agree that it is “safer” but that doesn’t really comfort me in this instance.

  23. The Aussie Bloke

    Somebody get a crowbar, need to get Billie’s foot out of her mouth

    1. Daeva

      You can likely use the same crowbar that was used to get her arms from around Sal.

  24. MrGBH

    Don’t worry Billie, I’d be perfectly happy to let you ride on my motorcycle.

    1. MrGBH

      The motorcycle is my penis.

  25. Animal

    Fantasies… taking… over…

  26. dchorror

    Let’s play a game. Who is sailing the S.S. Billie?

    Danny
    Joyce
    Walky
    Ruth
    Sal

    I honestly thought I could come up with more off the top of my memory…

    1. Aizat

      Ladies and gentlemen, it’s time to play “Pair the Characters!”

  27. Tenn

    What? No lesbian sex in panel four? I am disappoint! 😛

  28. Jackson

    Voicing your awkward and embarrassing thoughts out loud? Billie, you’ve been hanging around Joyce too much.

    1. Jackson

      Of course, I’m not any better, talking to you in the comments section and all.

  29. Loki

    Take that, shippers! 🙂

  30. Michelle

    Look, a convenient way to keep the “signing the roommate contract” storyline alive even longer past its freshness date!

    1. begbert2

      I think you overlooked the fact that this is *funny*, which is pretty much undisputably more important to the comic in both the short and long run than concluding any given storyline a little bit faster.

      I mean, do you have anywhere in particular that you needed to be, that dawdling on the way to to the end of the storyline is inconveniencing you?

      1. LeaLeonis

        I think you overlooked the fact that above comment was meant to be “sarcastic”. I may be new to this, but sarcasm doesn’t always need to be perfectly justified, it’s meant to be entertaining.

        Unlike when I had it going with your mum. No offense, but she just didn’t know how to handle my “sarcasm”.

        1. Roborat

          Maybe her problem was that your “sarcasm” was just to “subtle”.

        2. LeaLeonis

          *claps* I won’t even try getting back at you, your comment obviously wins. 🙂

        3. begbert2

          Of course she was being sarcastic; her intent was to actually complain about the fact the storyline being dragged out, not to praise its prolongation. Obviously. Nothing subtle about it.

          Unless you think it’s some sort of high-speed double-reverse sarcasm with a full-gainer and a twist, where the intent is to mock the idea of criticizing the prioritization of comedy in a comedy comic over the timely conclusion of storylines that exist solely to be vehicles for comedy anyway…in which case I have to frankly admit, I totally missed that super-double self-subversion there. In fact I still don’t see it; I don’t know what’s wrong with me…

        4. LeaLeonis

          At least you’re willing to admit you might have been at fault. Unlike your mum.

          Okay, I’m stopping already. This “your mum” thing is just too much fun not to be exploited. And admittedly her criticism wasn’t quite appropriate, but since sarcasm is famous for being used at unappropriate occasions, I think it was still justified.
          Maybe I’m just crazy. o_O

  31. Björn

    Slashfiiiiiics!

  32. heyarnold1986

    it’s sorta weird how Sal sounds like Natsuki Kuga when I read her parts…. voice and all

  33. nothri

    Panel 2 brought to you by Walkyverse Prime Danny’s penis.

  34. Zem

    You know what’s weird? How pairing Sal with Billie makes Billie the “bottom”.

  35. Kernanator

    Man, we’ve been pairing EVERYONE with Billie nowadays. Wait, does that make her the fandom bicy—I mean, motorcycle?

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      Launcher of a Thousand Ships

  36. Kaci

    so did they get there or did she just make her get off?

    but isn’t that what everyone’s hoping for?

    oh snap!

  37. Crumplepunch

    Shipping this now.

    Just sayin.

  38. Cerky

    Hee, me too. Suits her so well.

  39. Maycroft

    She just had to say it, didn’t she?

  40. Jenny Creed

    “Billie?”
    “Yeah, Sal?”
    “Use the handle bars, Billie.”
    “But I feel safe here.”

  41. RandomPerson12

    I thought the first rule was “you don’t talk about motorcyclin'”.

  42. parismio

    yess

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