196

Recklessly
Posted on June 28, 2014 by David M Willis

You asked for it, you got it -- Dumbing of Age is on Patreon now!  It's where all the cool people are now, like my buddy Joel or my nemesis Jeph or that guy Gordon I mostly ignore.  But I'm there now, too, like some sort of awesome person.  And if enough people are into it, those people can get a bonus Dumbing of Age strip each month.  Click through for the deets.

196 thoughts on “Recklessly”

  1. Geminia999

    An A Sal? I aspect Triple AAAs from any sibling of Walky’s!

    1. Geminia999

      *expect 🙁

    2. Sir Wafflington

      In Sal’s case, AA might be of more assistance…

      1. Gigafreak

        Well, more for her roommate. Sal, owning her own motor vehicle, might actually be a member of AAA though.

        1. CiaranLovejoy

          Here in England AAA is AA, which gets confusing when talking to Americans because if you say I’m a member of AA they assume that you’re an alcoholic…

        2. Gigafreak

          So I guess if you’re talking to a child from the ’90s and they think you’re talking about batteries, that’s the best-case scenario

        3. desolation0

          “I have a spare big D ready to go, if anyone needs.” – Joe

        4. Gigafreak

          “I’ll plug it into your socket and be ready to go all night long.”

      2. Deanatay

        Unlike Billie and Ruth, Sal has shown no signs of being alcoholic. She has enough other issues to deal with.

    3. Chris

      Triple AAAs? Isn’t that, like, 9 A’s?

  2. Yotomoe

    First rule of racing is there are no rules. The next 40 rules are all the rules.

    1. Charlie Spencer

      “The first rule of Italian racing is … what’s behind me is not important.”

      1. parkrndl

        Franco is here. The race can begin.

      2. Bill

        An overlooked classic.

    2. Adam

      If you ain’t out of control you ain’t in control.

  3. Mr. Random

    Well, if jumping was against the rules, everyone I know has cheated profusely.

    1. Sir Wafflington

      What about snaking?

      1. PrincessCarlos

        What about the Sneak king?

        1. Heavensrun

          Metal Gear Burger?

  4. Plasma Mongoose

    She who wins in Mario Kart, wins in life – Confooius

    1. AgentKeen

      Shouldn’t that be Confungus?
      Get it, cus’ Toads? Mushroom Kingdom?

      I’ll see myself out.

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        Not too bad as puns go, you would score at least a few likes in a CRACKED pun thread.

        1. RevenantBacon

          OK, I’m gonna grab ahold of this before it gets….. Out of hand.

        2. Betty Anne

          Out of hand like a blue turtle shell.

      2. xKiv

        Don’t they already have Frogfucius?

        1. Micah

          Dude, major props for the Mario RPG reference.

  5. GenericScreenName101

    MarioKart might of given her an “A” but Danny wants to give her the “D”… that was bad…

    1. Yotomoe

      That was AMAZING.

    2. Plasma Mongoose

      The only good D is the tenacious one. 😀

      1. AgentKeen

        But make sure to do it softly… gently… sweetly… discreetly.

        1. Plasma Mongoose

          Just as long as you do it hard at the end. 😀

    3. sps48

      And Sal might’ve let him. If he’d tried

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        Because he isn’t actively(or even passively) hoping to hook up with Sal, she is more likely to show an actual interest in him.

  6. EEWWW

    And later, Danny will be thinking of this moment with an ‘O’

  7. Wonder Wig

    Rainbow Road is anything but straight and narrow.

    1. Yotomoe

      Just like Ethan!

      1. LiaHansen

        Was that a fat joke? Rude.

      2. JessWitt

        Are you calling Ethan wide? Not that I’m complaining.

        1. Gigafreak

          He’s got broad shoulders, which is the only kind of broad he is interested in

  8. PlainMarie

    This is the happiest I have *ever* seen Sal.

  9. Plasma Mongoose

    Last panel Sal is cutest Sal.

    1. Cholma

      Smiling Sal is Awesome!

      1. Animal

        “Sal is Awesome!”

        Fixed.

  10. Regalli

    ImPRESSIVE.

    So, since I see we’re still in this storyline, how long until Amber’s life gets suckier?

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      In 5… 4… 3… 2…

  11. newllend

    If it was against the rules of the game then she wouldn’t be able to do it Danny stop being a bongo.

    1. Yotomoe

      It violates the spirit of the game but none of the actual rules.

      1. Mc

        They’re more what you’d call ‘guidelines’ than actual rules.

        1. tinfoil theory

          Code is law.
          Everything else is mere suggestion.

      2. JeremiahTheBulldog

        “It violates the spirit of the game”? Dude, it’s a kart racing game. You’re actively encouraged to do unreasonable, silly things. Otherwise, the programmers and play testers wouldn’t let you do it. In a game with blue shells, what spirit were you envisioning?

        1. slicedtoad

          ^this.

        2. Inlaa

          ^ doubly endorsed.

        3. Gigafreak

          Hell, Mario Kart 1 had places where you were explicitly encouraged to do this, such as the dead-end pier that happens to be in Feather-jump range of the finish line on the haunted house track. And the “fling yourself off the track and land on a lower section way ahead of where you were” trick was possible since Super Mario 64, and was in fact the only way to hit one of the target times for one of the stars on the sliding course. (To the point where the target time was really testing how quickly you can do THAT.)

        4. Random832

          On the other hand, the [i]other[/i] sliding course in Mario 64 had the penguin accuse you of cheating if your time was too fast.

        5. Gangler

          Mario Kart’s all about driving safely, isn’t it? They place the power ups and shortcuts there as temptations to teach you that if you goof around people get hurt, but if you drive safe everybody has fun!

      3. Yotomoe

        Noone caught on that I was making a reference to American Dad.

        1. David M Willis

          Maybe everyone respected you enough to not believe you would watch that. 😉

        2. Yotomoe

          Haha. Not even ashamed.

    2. Mr K

      She’s secretly a hacker.

      1. TachyonCode

        More likely she’s secretly a speedrunner. I expect to see Sal in SGDQ before the marathon is over.

  12. Stephen Bierce

    *plays The Beatles’ “Day Tripper” on the Muzak*

  13. Wack'd

    Danny and Sal actually have chemistry in this universe. Weird.

    1. newllend

      Is it really, the cool bad girl badass biker chick who breaks all the rules, who also offers alot of dramatic origin and The Dweebish goody two shoes spazz who’s mostly used as a plot device when he isn’t getting into some kind of goofy high jinks. Seems like yin and yang to me.

      1. timemonkey

        It’s a surprise since they had no chemistry in the other universe despite being literally the first couple to exist and her thing for him being her dominant character trait.

        1. Devlerbat

          I believe the “her thing for him being her dominant character trait” may have been the problem. A novice and commonly made mistake in writing Willis has no doubt avoided since.

        2. Deanatay

          I agree. Seems like the main reason Willis created DoA was to develop characters he’d never really been able to develop before, and in ways they’d never been able to develop before. So far, I approve.

        3. newllend

          Ya Walky, Joyce , Amber, and Danny all need character attention and character development, even though they were the main characters of all the other comics he’s maid.

    2. niblik

      I give two thumbs up for this latest plot development!

  14. etybolik

    D’aww, they’re bonding. Pretty soon he’ll note he’s her Lois Lane and she’ll grunt and fly away to throw planets or something.

    1. Yotomoe

      Danny is everybody’s Lois Lane.

      1. nekobawt

        except for dorothy, he’s more of a jimmy olsen for her.

      2. Deanatay

        Actually, he’s Amber’s Robin.

  15. someguywithakatana

    Booty call, if I ever saw one.

    1. Yotomoe

      If this isn’t foreplay, then I don’t even wanna date anyone.

      1. AgentKeen

        I’m watching Transformers Prime, and pretty much thought “Man, I need a girlfriend… who’ll watch cartoons with me.”

        1. Calvin Coolage

          Sounds like me, except I need one who’ll watch Gundam with me.

        2. Ramba Ral

          Endless stream of Zakus.

        3. Deanatay

          Gundam’s a cartoon. Right?

          …

          Right?

        4. Heavensrun

          Yes. It is.

      2. Calvin Coolage

        All foreplay should begin with you and your partner playing a race on Rainbow Road, from any Mario Kart. Whoever wins determines how the sex begins.

        1. Yotomoe

          I’d always lose on purpose because I’m not very dominant.

        2. tinfoil theory

          You don’t get to decide that unless you win, though.

        3. Deanatay

          “The forfeit was always something obscenely sexual. Ford usually played to lose.”

  16. Mr. Random

    Jumping. Rocket juuuuuuuuuuuump.

    1. AgentKeen

      Soldier’s a cheat, too. Was never even in the army.

      1. Calvin Coolage

        After saying this, AgentKeen was found dead at his computer.
        The autopsy revealed skin flakes around his throat, which matched the Soldier’s DNA.

  17. Toad

    Doesn’t the 3DS Mario Kart give stars instead of letter grades?

    1. GoogerGeiger

      Shhh.

      1. Yotomoe

        Clearly someone didn’t do the RESEARCH.

    2. LiaHansen

      this is actually an unknown Mario Kart version from an undisclosed year, thankyouverymuch

      1. Mr. Random

        Except it’s clearly seven or later.

        1. LiaHansen

          Shhh.

        2. Mr. Random

          Shhhhhh.

  18. rjaco321

    And that’s when Sal quit school to become a speedrunner/youtuber/twitch streamer.

    1. Yotomoe

      She was then set for life, as that is a clearly safe and refutable form of income.

      1. Kryss LaBryn

        …Refutable? O_o

        1. Yotomoe

          Reputable! Darnit. Flew too close to the sun.

        2. Betty Anne

          Aw, shouldn’t have corrected yourself, man. I was going to be all, “Refutable, as in EVERY. SINGLE. PERSON. you know will bongo about the possibility of this being viable income, even as you pay for dinner for them.”

      2. Heavensrun

        Charming southern accent, incredible hotness, sharpened wit, all combined with a love of Mario Kart?

        I’d subscribe to that.

  19. GoogerGeiger

    Sal probably abuses the Maka Wuhu glitch.

    1. tinfoil theory

      Sal beat the Kobayashi Maru simulation.

  20. CarlaGriffin

    It’s nice seeing Sal happy for once!

    1. newllend

      Ya usually she either angry, tired,or just doesn’t give a fuck.

  21. Nono

    I’m actually on Sal’s side here, Danny should be well aware of making use of the environment in Mario Kart games.

    1. Pat

      Yeah, there are clearly intended shortcuts that require you to go off-road.

  22. Pyr05

    Do you feel proud about the grades you get in Mario Kart? Will your employer be impressed and hire you right then and there?

    1. insomniac

      I’ve never had an employer pay a whole lot of attention to my report card either.

    2. Yotomoe

      I would hire someone based ONLY on how many video games they’ve beaten. AND FPS don’t count.

      1. Calvin Coolage

        What about the classic FPSes, like DOOM, Quake, Wolfenstein 3D, and the like?

        1. Yotomoe

          They still don’t count as much as other kinds of games.

        2. Plasma Mongoose

          What about open sandpit games?

        3. timemonkey

          But classic FPS are the hardest of videogames.

        4. Calvin Coolage

          He’s right. If you’re used to modern FPS controls, Wolfenstein 3D is beyond difficult. Even when you get used to the controls, it is still very difficult.

        5. Yotomoe

          I never said it was based on difficulty. I just don’t like FPS.

        6. Calvin Coolage

          Understandable.

        7. Batman

          I hire my employee based solely on their Riven playthrough time. Managers at WayneTech are able to complete all of the puzzles during their lunch hour.

        8. John

          I once cleared the first three levels of Wolf on the hardest difficulty with my eyes closed.

        9. Kryss LaBryn

          OT but have you seen Return to Castle Wolfenstein? AMAZING.

          –And I remember when Wolfenstein 3D came out. Wow. (lol a side level in the new one is a salute to it).

        10. Gigafreak

          Wolfenstein 3D was released in 1992 and, along with Doom in 1993, popularized (if not completely invented) the first-person shooter genre that thrives to this day.

          1992 is also the year in which violent crime rates stopped increasing in the United States and, in fact, they have decreased steadily ever since.

          Also Wolfenstein is about a Jewish dude beating the everliving shit out of Nazis and I can’t bring myself to feel bad about that. Maybe I should replay it sometime, don’t think I ever finished the original.

    3. Betty Anne

      I had an employer hire me to do accounting, when the highest grade I got in accounting outside an “incomplete” was a D- the semester I graduated. ^^;

      1. Pyr05

        It’s fitting your Grav is of Mr Satan.

  23. Tanarin

    So… does this make Sal a speed runner? If so sign her up for the next *GDQ!

  24. Victor Riley

    Wait… can you actually do that on Mario Kart? Damn, I wish my DS wasn’t dying…

  25. Plasma Mongoose

    I would have thought that like in a number of racing games, if you go off-road, you would quickly lose speed.

    1. David M Willis

      That’s the case in courses that aren’t Rainbow Road, but Rainbow Road is just a track up in space. There’s nothing between sections of road to cause friction.

      1. Gigafreak

        “Ah’m Wiggler.

        … … …

        AND AH CAN BREATHE IN SPACE.”

        1. Deanatay

          Wiggler is Batman?

        2. Gigafreak

          Sal plays Wiggler and Sal is “basically Batman,” therefore Wiggler is currently also basically Batman. QED

      2. Plasma Mongoose

        Ah! That explains it as I haven’t played Mario Kart since a store demo early last decade.

    2. Kelly

      Not when you have a hang glider!

      1. AgentKeen

        I feel like this is the set-up for a ‘Back to the Future’ quote.

  26. Kelly

    *reads the title text*
    *starts singing “The Touch” by Stan Bush*

  27. Minomelo

    I… I think I ship it.

    1. darkgloomie

      Sal/Mario Kart?

      Yeah, that’s my OTP too.

  28. Gigafreak

    Let’s hear it for Order and Chaos!

    1. Disloyal Subject

      Hear, hear!

  29. All-purpose guru

    I love you, Sal.

  30. Black Bumblebee

    Sal seems happy… when people are happy in these comics, that means something very bad is about to happen. Prepare yourselves, people…

  31. Bunivasal

    I’m angry at Danny.

    1. ShaggyDonahugh

      When isn’t anyone angry at Danny?

      1. Heavensrun

        I’m not angry at Danny right now. He made Sal smile. And that’s pretty awesome.

  32. Idon'tcarenomore

    Yes Sal is happy and that is a good thing. As has been noted, she’s usually pissed, tired, or just don’t care. I know just exactly how she feels.

    Danny is a total clueless as usual. He may actually have a chance with her if he acted like he wanted one (while his insides are screaming he does), maybe he should get points for that?

    I never realized guys feel about badass broads the way girls feel about badass beefsteak….live and learn.

    1. Disloyal Subject

      We all have our own tastes; I, for one, have never been interested in a girl who couldn’t at least give me a run for my money in the ring or on the track.

    2. tinfoil theory

      Why would Danny want to go with Sal? He is still hung up on Amber. (And Sal doesn’t even wear glasses.) That they used to be a couple in the other universe has no relevance here.

      He, on the other hand, seems to be her type, like a younger, more approachable Jason. (And Jason’s reluctance and virginity didn’t stop her. I would expect Danny to break Sal’s heart.)

      1. Pebblerocker

        Was Jason a virgin? I got the impression he wasn’t.

        1. Deanatay

          tinfoil may be mixing his universes…

        2. tinfoil theory

          Maybe virginity was not the right word. Chastity?

  33. Guywiddahhair

    I read all of Sal’s lines in Apple Jacks voice… :3

    1. Disloyal Subject

      Yeah, that is a thing we do here.
      Ashleigh Ball’s a singer, too, though I don’t recall her band’s name.

  34. Thomas

    This is good writing. Interesting character stuff.

  35. ShaggyDonahugh

    This gravatar is AWESOME!
    By the way, the little walky churchmouse one is open to whoever wants it.

    1. Kryss LaBryn

      Who is that? She looks crazy familiar but I just can’t place her.

      1. ShaggyDonahugh

        Actually, it’s a thumbnail that Crave from BetweenFailures drew for me (I pledged to his patreon lol). It’s a picture of me. And I’m a dude. xD

        1. ShaggyDonahugh

          Albeit a dude with long hair and a feminine face.

          “DUDE LOOK LIKE A LADY!”

        2. tinfoil theory

          Your truename wouldn’t happen to be Tedd Verres, would it?

        3. Deanatay

          Nah, he’d have pink hair, then.

  36. Benjamin

    I… She… I think, perhaps, she just came up with the most awesome idea for changing the school system…

  37. Dave

    And thus Sal further cements herself as the Coolest character of this comic.

    1. Raptorman

      I always thought that.

  38. Kernanator

    I like how Danny and Sal actually have chemistry together, instead of being a couple-shaped block of wood.

    1. Pantheon the Mantheon

      Not sure if you guys noticed, but their just playing mario Kart. How dues that equate to chemistry? I’ve played videogames with girls before and, from my perspective, it means nothing. That is, of course, unless it suddenly became a romantically exclusive activity.

      1. Pantheon the Mantheon

        they’re* damn you conjunctions, you have foiled my not so smart phone while typing yet again. PANTHEON SHALL HAVE VENGEANCE!

        1. Gigafreak

          It doesn’t have to be romantic chemistry. Kern’s saying that their interactions here are more interesting and entertaining in the Dumbiverse than they were in the Walkyverse despite them actually being a couple in the Walkyverse.

  39. otto

    Danny would make a terrible speed runner, just sayin

  40. Coco

    It’s happeningggggg. \o/

  41. Tinframe

    Sal actually looks adorable in that last panel, wtf.

  42. Milky

    Sal’s genuinely smiling? That’s a first I think.

    1. Gigafreak

      It

    2. Gigafreak

      …’s happened at least four times before, to my memory. (lousy mis-tap on my phone’s screen.)

      Aside from the fake one she gave her parents (because you specified “genuine”)…
      -When looking over her re-straightened hair in the mirror (it lasted for all of one panel before her suppression of self-identity sunk in)
      -When discovering that her improved grade was genuine
      -When she first met Danny and he, believing she was Amazi-girl, shared his 3DS, getting her hooked on Mario Kart in the first place
      -Flashback to Sal and Walky playing Tag or something while Mrs. Walkerton decides that Walky would be the churchmouse

  43. ZPedro

    Y’know… Sal’s attitude towards authority and rules has always bothered me to say the least, but here I gotta side with her. I mean, Mario Kart ≥7 gives you the hang glider and stuff, surely that is not for staying on the track at all times, is it? These games are play tested and QA tested to death to eliminate exploits, so as long as it’s fun and not a blatant glitch (those tend to be un-fun), go for it, it was intended to be possible.

    Reminds me of the “Abyss” track (second of invitational circuit, on Ord Ibanna) of SW Ep 1 Racer: I unintentionally triggered a glitch where if you went off-track in the middle of the lap, you could manage to cross the finish line (in fact way above, but to the vertical, of the pod) before you’d “crash” in the clouds. This “poisoned” the various lap records because this was clearly an unintended glitch, in the end on the only truthful one remaining was the best three-lap time in mirror mode.

    Sal should try Bridge Construction Set next, building bridges that self-destroy from the strain once the last train has passed is fun!

  44. Deneffee

    I just spent the last 7 hours of my life reading the whole comic since strip #1 up to this last one. It is now 5:15 am. I regret nothing.

  45. Gangler

    Thought: Amber was under the impression that Danny was intentionally prolonging the race in order to spend more time with her. She accordingly played along, driving alongside him on the straight and narrow.

    This seems to be the first time Danny’s witnessed this appalling behavior, so presumably she wasn’t getting too crazy with the driving in their matches.

  46. Robert D

    Look at Sal all smiley instead of scowly! She’s adorable!

  47. Cybersnark

    Sal needs to smile more often.

  48. Animal

    What’s a “deet?”

    1. Gigafreak

      “Deets” is fairly recent shorthand for “details.”

  49. Jay Carr

    I’ve always like Sal as a character, but now I really respect her character too. It’s fun to see her showing that sometimes just “doing it my way” can work. Screw the rules!

  50. Connor Edwards

    Does Dave actually dislike Jeph Jacques, or is he just kidding around all the time?

    1. Deanatay

      It’s just professional ribbing. These guys bump shoulders at the big comic conventions, go out drinking afterwards – they all know each other. I highly doubt there’s any real animosity there. They do guest strips for each other all the time.

  51. acher4

    This… explains so much. 🙂

  52. AHR

    Amber: Wow Danny you’ve really improved at Mario Kart how’d you do it?
    Danny: It’s time you meet my friend Sal!

    —

    Something like this is prolly gonna happen. Maybe.

  53. Jimmy

    It’s pretty nice to see Sal smile.

  54. apostateCourier

    Clearly Danny does not enjoy speedruns. By the way, SGDQ is going on, a speedrun marathon for charity! Check it out if you get the chance.

  55. Joe

    Danny, the first rule of Mario Kart is that everything is fair in Mario Kart.
    If that means strategically using mushrooms to go off-roading and shaving seconds off your time, that’s exactly what you should do.

    1. Heavensrun

      Not to mention that if you -can- bank off a moon, the devs -intended- for you to bank off that moon.

  56. Onions?

    And for about five seconds DOA was a webcomic about video games.

  57. Kaevohn

    Anyone else amused by the idea that she seems to be playing as Luigi? You can’t see the person, but by cart color it’s either Luigi or Yoshi.

    1. Bill

      I thought she was playing as the little bug thing.
      Not that I would know the difference.

      1. Kaevohn

        Amber’s the one who plays as wiggler. Actually it’s kind of symbolic regardless of whether it’s Luigi or Yoshi, since Yoshi eats wigglers.

        1. Kaevohn

          Never mind, I’m being dumb.

  58. Bobny

    Did I just see Sal smiling genuinely?

  59. PedanticJerkass

    “Not cheating. Winning.”

    — Batman

  60. Hero

    I can’t help but find this strip incredibly adorable.

  61. Bagge

    This is how a REBEL plays. Joyce, take notes.

  62. DarkoNeko

    Aww she’s positively glowing.

  63. petrabackfromthedead

    going across the spaces between roads in Rainbow Road isn’t so bad, my friend would ALWAYS do that, and his friends too during their races

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