It’s perfectly okay to stab down the throat, nick the stomach, and then carve upwards. I mean, it’s harder, but if you can hack that, more power to you.
To be fair, my father also was never around, due to being a general dirtbag. And then he died (suicide) before I ever got the chance to form a memory of him, so that’s a nomination for Father of the Year, in my book.
The Laser Fitted Armored Scorpion of Death was built to help mankind, not destroy it!
MatthewTheLucky
I designed the murder moon only for peaceful means!
-Dr. Shark, nonadventures.com
Emperor Daniel
That’s almost literally Palpatine’s line in Darths and Droids, except it was called “the Peace Moon”. 😛
Darths and Droids is a pretty fun read by the way, being a screencap-comic of the Star Wars series interpreted as if it was all the creation of a tabletop-roleplaying group. They started with The Phantom Menace (or “The Phantasmal Malevolence”) back in 2007, moving on afterward to Attack of the Clones (“The Silence of the Clones”) and Revenge of the Sith (“Revelation of the Sith”), before continuing into the Original Trilogy. They just finished off Return of the Jedi (“The Jedi Reloaded”) a little while ago, and are set to begin Rogue One tomorrow.
MatthewTheLucky
Ooh, Rogue One’s already ready? I thought it would be another week.
First we drank some whiskey
Then we drank some gin
Then we drank tequila
I think that’s what did me in
Then we drank some brandy
And the women had a dance
They would be seen to stock up on maple syrup and Skittles, as a diet rich in pancreases would give them the natural insulin-making capacity to ward off diabetes.
Needfuldoer
How do you know they’re really aliens? Maybe they just lost the plot.
I haven’t been able to commit to the full-fledged version of the bisexual haircut…bangs don’t work well on my hair, although my deep side part does work for a mock side-swept bang. Closest I’ll ever get is doing an a-line haircut.
Well, that’s not what anyone’s saying. These haircuts are popular enough among people of a sexuality that they’ve been used to signal that sexuality to other people. It is not remotely the same thing as haircuts gaining senitience.
Goshii
And the joke went completely over your head… its a pun on interpreting it literally:
Bisexual Haircut: literally a haircut is bisexual
instead of the implied Bisexual’s haircut or Haircut of Bisexuals
There’s been a thing on Tumblr for a while where people post pictures of Korra and Marceline the vampire Queen with that hair cut and have dubbed it the Bisexual Haircut.
I’m Bi and a guy too and I’ve never had it. Can’t anyway since I’m also balding.
Personally I’m thinking Ruth is going to bring up Amber’s father (and for the love of all that is holy, I hope she does it as tactfully as possible). I’m kinda hoping Ruth has put two and two together, and recommends some therapy. Hell, that could be a weekly floor meeting for all the characters…
It’s just a running joke because a lot of bisexual characters have that hair cut, to the point where it became a meme. I, a bisexual have that haircut irl and refer to it as such lmao.
Huh. I thought the ” bisexual haircut” was that . . .Not sure how to describe it right. When one half of the women’s hair is cut short but the other half goes down half their face and covers an eye? I think that’s the best way I can describe what I’ve typically seen described as the ” bisexual haircut”.
that’s the lesbian haircut 🙂 the bisexual haircut being a bob stems from fictional characters like korra , max caulfield and marceline
Li
It’s not really a “lesbian” cut. It’s also popular among nonbinary people and queer dudes. Also bi women.
Undercuts are much more generally-queer.
Egg
That’s a “bob”? I always imagined “bob” was describing a much shorter haircut.
I guess my perspective is skewed since I used to buzz my hair off on the (ir)regular (and only stopped bc I wasn’t diligent enough to do it on the regular-regular, and I look like a smurf when my hair’s growing out from a close buzz…)
I consider it the queer haircut because lots of nonbinary people also have it. But also there are many similar variations of the undercut hair. I guess it’s the undercut that is really the queer thing about it.
227 thoughts on “Phony-baloney”
Doctor_Who
Ruth: “No, see, that was your mistake. Next time thrust the knife UP, under the ribcage. The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.”
(Amber feverishly takes notes.)
inqntrol
Amber: Don’t people say that about food.
Ruth: Well yeah, but you could say you were feeding him steel…through his stomach.
Emperor Daniel
Isn’t there a guy out there that once ate an entire airplane? (piece-by-piece obviously, not all at once)
Opus the Poet
There was a guy in the 1950s who ate a Jeep.
Needfuldoer
Good thing he was assigned to a medical unit.
Draco Ro'Tor
I’m glad that I wasn’t the only one who thought of that.
Reltzik
There was an old lady who swallowed a horse.
NelC
Of course.
Delicious Taffy
Plus, several TV sets, a few shopping carts, some computers, and various other things. Naturally, he was French.
Tacos
Ruth: Ryan clearly had an iron deficiency that needed to be fixed
N0083rp00F
That usually entails swinging the blade just a smidgen lower.
Jamie
It’s perfectly okay to stab down the throat, nick the stomach, and then carve upwards. I mean, it’s harder, but if you can hack that, more power to you.
Emperor Daniel
YOU WERE THE CHOSEN ONE AMBER
YOU’RE A WIZARD NOW
Emperor Daniel
“Hey, you want the RA role?”
“Hell no.”
Doctor_Who
Even the Dursleys were better parents than Blaine.
C.T Phipps
Blaine: How could I screw up being your father? I was never there!
Delicious Taffy
To be fair, my father also was never around, due to being a general dirtbag. And then he died (suicide) before I ever got the chance to form a memory of him, so that’s a nomination for Father of the Year, in my book.
Keulan
It was said that Amber would destroy the Sith, not join them. Bring balance to the Force, not leave it in darkness.
Jonathan
The Laser Fitted Armored Scorpion of Death was built to help mankind, not destroy it!
MatthewTheLucky
I designed the murder moon only for peaceful means!
-Dr. Shark, nonadventures.com
Emperor Daniel
That’s almost literally Palpatine’s line in Darths and Droids, except it was called “the Peace Moon”. 😛
Darths and Droids is a pretty fun read by the way, being a screencap-comic of the Star Wars series interpreted as if it was all the creation of a tabletop-roleplaying group. They started with The Phantom Menace (or “The Phantasmal Malevolence”) back in 2007, moving on afterward to Attack of the Clones (“The Silence of the Clones”) and Revenge of the Sith (“Revelation of the Sith”), before continuing into the Original Trilogy. They just finished off Return of the Jedi (“The Jedi Reloaded”) a little while ago, and are set to begin Rogue One tomorrow.
MatthewTheLucky
Ooh, Rogue One’s already ready? I thought it would be another week.
Sean Murphy
Shouldn’t that be, Bring Jedi Domination to the Force, not leave it balanced ?
Miguel
Ruth Amber time
Stephen Bierce
They were talkin’ ’bout HOCKEY
The cat was talking back!
‘Round about then everything went black–
But Wasn’t It A Party!
Cholma
Coulda been the whiskey
Mighta been the gin
Coulda been the three, four, 6-packs
I don’t know, but look at the mess we’re in!
thejeff
First we drank some whiskey
Then we drank some gin
Then we drank tequila
I think that’s what did me in
Then we drank some brandy
And the women had a dance
Stephen Bierce
So ya see Yer Honor
It was all in fun
That little bitty track meet down on Main Street
Was just to see if the Cops could run!
Sunny D
I am bisexual, and I do not in fact, have that hair.
Granted, I am male and my hair sticks straight out all the time no matter what, but that’s besides the point.
Emperor Norton II
But do you ever have the plotting expression, complete with steepled fingers? Do you plot?
Sunny D
I do sometimes, yes. What self respecting human doesn’t plot?
Emperor Norton II
None that I know of. In fact, the concept of not plotting is entirely alien to me…
…
…
…
I’ve figured out how we can reveal aliens secretly living among us!
Tacos
But what if they are aliens that are plotting to eat our pancreases? How would you reveal them then?
Emperor Norton II
Oh please, have you ever seen any form of entertainment media where aliens of any sort have ever plotted to do anything even remotely bad to humans?
ValdVin
They would be seen to stock up on maple syrup and Skittles, as a diet rich in pancreases would give them the natural insulin-making capacity to ward off diabetes.
Needfuldoer
How do you know they’re really aliens? Maybe they just lost the plot.
Shiro
I got that haircut when I was 14 and had just discovered “omg girls” so maybe it’s more of the bisexual girl haircut.
Sunny D
Idk man, maybe. Maybe it’s the bisexual female haircut? I’ve had essentially the same haircut since I was 10 and still a pure and good Christian boy.
Emperor Norton II
Well, I get you, ’cause girls are totally super cute!
And I say that even though I’m not one!
(I also say this because Carla is not in fact real and thus cannot come and kick my ass for stealing her lines.)
(I hope.)
Halpful
I’m sure you had the best of intentions, but this comment made me feel weird.
not sure if it’s lingering paranoia from the dexedrine or something actually weird about it.
Tawdry Quirks
I haven’t been able to commit to the full-fledged version of the bisexual haircut…bangs don’t work well on my hair, although my deep side part does work for a mock side-swept bang. Closest I’ll ever get is doing an a-line haircut.
AlexDenton
Always makes me laugh when someone says a certain haircut has a sexual orientation. All kinds of weird pictures pop into mind ^^
Li
Well, that’s not what anyone’s saying. These haircuts are popular enough among people of a sexuality that they’ve been used to signal that sexuality to other people. It is not remotely the same thing as haircuts gaining senitience.
Goshii
And the joke went completely over your head… its a pun on interpreting it literally:
Bisexual Haircut: literally a haircut is bisexual
instead of the implied Bisexual’s haircut or Haircut of Bisexuals
SonicBlueRanger
There’s been a thing on Tumblr for a while where people post pictures of Korra and Marceline the vampire Queen with that hair cut and have dubbed it the Bisexual Haircut.
I’m Bi and a guy too and I’ve never had it. Can’t anyway since I’m also balding.
R. Francis Smith
I’m bald, and now I feel completely out of place about it. Can you actually be bald and bisexual both? (I just asked for the alliteration.)
AutobotDen
Am I the only one hoping for Ruth to go “I’m sorry I failed you when your parents visited.”???
TheGrammarLegionary
Personally I’m thinking Ruth is going to bring up Amber’s father (and for the love of all that is holy, I hope she does it as tactfully as possible). I’m kinda hoping Ruth has put two and two together, and recommends some therapy. Hell, that could be a weekly floor meeting for all the characters…
Pl0x
Group therapy led by Ruth? LOL
nothri
…..I mean…that could be fun. I wouldn’t want to be the one in charge of gathering the weekly supply of torches and pitchforks, though.
Kris
Is that what that hair is called? I didn’t think hair had a sexual orientation.
Bonnie
It’s just a running joke because a lot of bisexual characters have that hair cut, to the point where it became a meme. I, a bisexual have that haircut irl and refer to it as such lmao.
Kamino Neko
The Bisexual Haircut.
Needfuldoer
I’ll just leave this here…
Reltzik
Not only can hair have orientation, it can also have kinks.
davidbreslin101
I am walking around with SO MUCH LEWDNESS on my head. It’s great.
Reltzik
I just let mine all hang out.
Leorale
I’m sure Becky would be delighted if Dina’s hair can like her, too.
tim gueguen
Next strip, Ruth asks Amber how much it would cost to have her kill Ruth’s grandfather.
William Leonard Reese Jr.
Huh. I thought the ” bisexual haircut” was that . . .Not sure how to describe it right. When one half of the women’s hair is cut short but the other half goes down half their face and covers an eye? I think that’s the best way I can describe what I’ve typically seen described as the ” bisexual haircut”.
Sunny D
A sidecut. What you are describing is a sidecut
William Leonard Reese Jr.
Yes that is it exactly! My thanks!
bluebird
that’s the lesbian haircut 🙂 the bisexual haircut being a bob stems from fictional characters like korra , max caulfield and marceline
Li
It’s not really a “lesbian” cut. It’s also popular among nonbinary people and queer dudes. Also bi women.
Undercuts are much more generally-queer.
Egg
That’s a “bob”? I always imagined “bob” was describing a much shorter haircut.
I guess my perspective is skewed since I used to buzz my hair off on the (ir)regular (and only stopped bc I wasn’t diligent enough to do it on the regular-regular, and I look like a smurf when my hair’s growing out from a close buzz…)
DinaWho
Do you mean an undercut like Becky has? (I thought that one was considered the lesbian haircut tho)
William Leonard Reese Jr.
Huh. Hadn’t realized it, Becky’s is more unruly then I typically see, but yeah.
Pl0x
I consider it the queer haircut because lots of nonbinary people also have it. But also there are many similar variations of the undercut hair. I guess it’s the undercut that is really the queer thing about it.
Pl0x
Oh, also the side shave.
C.T Phipps
I wonder if Mary is one of the three. I assume that shit is kept anonymous.
D.S