Becky: I want a Winnebago.
Robin: What?!
Becky: Fully equipped. Big kitchen, water bed, AM/FM CD, microwave.
Robin: It’s not a car dealership, pal!
Dina: She wants a Winnebago.
Robin: All right. A Winnebago.
Becky: Thank you. Burgundy interior.
Galasso: Ah, I have never taken my wife to Europe.
Robin: I’m sorry to hear it. Give me the Tweets.
Galasso: You will buy me two round-trip, first-class tickets to Athens, Lisbon, Madrid, and Scotland.
Pamela: Don’t forget Tahiti.
Galasso: And Tahiti.
Robin: Tahiti is not in Europe!
Conquest: Excuse me. When you get re-elected, you give us geography lessons. Until then, this man goes to Tahiti.
Robin: Fine! Tahiti!
Joe: The young lady with the Uzi… She single?
Danny: Y’know, Joe, excuse us. This is the brass ring. Now you’ve got to think bigger thoughts.
Joe: I just want her telephone number.
Becky: How about a lunch? You can chaperone.
Robin: No. I will not do this.
Becky: Hey, Robs, Robs. Come on, the FBI would give him twins.
Robin: NO!!
Malaya: Wait a second. You can have anything you want, and you’re asking for my phone number?
Joe: Yes.
Malaya: [smiles] 273-9164, area code 415.
Joe: I’m Joe.
Malaya: I’m Malaya.
Robin: I’m going to be sick.
Jacob: I want peace on Earth and good will toward men.
Robin: Oh, this is ridiculous.
Dina: No, he’s serious.
Jacob: I want peace on Earth and good will toward men.
Robin: We are the United States government! We don’t do that sort of thing.
Dina: You’ll just have to try.
Robin: All right. I’ll see what we can do.
Jacob: Thank you. It’s all I ask.
Interesting tidbit: The technical consultant for ‘Sneakers’ was the same one who did Wargames. He was the real deal and helped BUILD a lot of NORAD’S security and is the reason those two movies got so much of the hacking stuff right.
Now look, she wants the Heki 2 roof lights, uh, the stylish ash frame furniture, and the scatter cushions with, uh, matching shag pile cover. Yeah. Right. And she’s terrible partial to the periwinkle blue, boys.
Sneakers is one of the best hacker/suspense movies of all time. I love watching it even though I don’t think my first girlfriend ever saw it all the way through.
And frankly, I suspect, something of a sneaky plan of Robin’s.
By having Becky work as her campaign manager, and Becky still hanging out with Leslie, Robin will have a kinda legitime reason to “Bump in to” Leslie again.
Yeah, if Becky has to pick two of the her three terms, those are definitely the best two. Though I think she should try at least one more time to convince Robin to agree to all three of her terms.
Hear me out, I know it seems superficially wrong, but I feel as though she should not choose campaign honesty. If she gets elected with the young liberal vote and betrays them, she’d be shooting herself on the foot and basically guaranteeing being disgraced on the eyes of both parties afterwards. On the other hand, her being elected would also prove that the young liberal vote is worth seeking, meaning true liberal candidates will benefit afterwards.
And all that without mentioning that Robin may end doing the right, smart thing, anyway (if only out of self-gain, but who knows, she may actually learn and grow) and thus, Becky would have cheated herself of either tuition or a place to live.
No. Robin shooting herself in the foot isn’t worth the harm she’s going to cause to immigrants, afab people, or LGBT+ people.
Myth
I think they mean that Becky needn’t include campaign honesty in her terms because Robin will inevitably have to do that anyway.
BBCC
That’s just not true. Politicians have a tendency to go back to the party line when they’re elected to a specific party – and it’s too late for Robin to drop the letter beside her name just because the party cancelled its endorsement. Robin betraying what she campaigned on would ensure she’s not elected with the liberal crowd again but a) That doesn’t ensure she won’t get her old Evil Bastard crowd back and b) Her losing that kind of support isn’t worth the damage said betrayal would do to LGBT+ people, immigrants, and AFAB people.
How does this work if you wish to study later in life? When you might have kids, or just don’t care about dorm life with a bunch of youngsters? Or is that not a thing at all in the US?
Slartibeast Button, BIA
Probably won’t apply then. I believe the reason is that some 18 year old kids have no idea at all how to live independently, how to cook, how to budget, etc. So the school requires them to live in a dorm with a meal plan for the first year to avoid problems with clueless kids starving, etc.
Bicycle Bill
The catch-all term for later-in-life learners is “non-traditional students”. Most universities realize that most people over 25 (the general cut-off point at which you become a “non-trad”) already have a life, possibly a spouse, and a place to live and are not that heartless that they would force someone to uproot all that just to satisfy some chicken-shit rule about how “all first-year students must live in on-campus housing and sign up for the meal plan”.
MLEst1
There’s a waiver you can fill out
Usually it just says “I’m living with my parents/aunt/grandparents” but if you’re already an established adult you can get an override, too
Partly it’s as Slartibeast said, that kids don’t know what they’re doing. I was in a mixed year dorm one time and my roommate didn’t turn 18 until the end of her first year of college.
However, living on campus also helps to strengthen your bond with classmates and makes certain mishaps less likely. Many students don’t have a car, so being able to walk to class helps remove a barrier to attendance, as well as using the library or attending tutoring. This also gives students the opportunity to be independent in a way that their parents might not let them (mine still gave me a bed time at 18- not curfew, BEDTIME) while still providing a degree of supervision not found in regular apartment living. Also, I would rather live with an annoying classmate than the asshole I found on Craigslist
I worked a summer cleaning dorms for a Southern Baptist College. The first day I ate lunch with some of the other workers. One of the girls was complaining about needing to try to convert 10 people (or some other random number) but her parents forbid her from leaving the campus so she couldn’t do it. She was 18. (And I wisely kept my mouth shut, ‘cuz I’m not a Southern Baptist.)
Matthew Davis
Some campuses also have family housing for such situations. Usually it goes to grad students, but it can go to nontraditional undergraduates as well.
Well, you can’t have that, but if you’re an American citizen you are entitled to:
a heated kidney shaped pool,
a microwave oven–don’t watch the food cook,
a Dyna-Gym–I’ll personally demonstrate it in the privacy of your own home,
a kingsize Titanic unsinkable Molly Brown waterbed with polybendum,
a foolproof plan and an airtight alibi,
real simulated Indian jewelry,
a Gucci shoetree,
a year’s supply of antibiotics,
a personally autographed picture of Randy Mantooth!
This is actually pretty dumb of Robin cuz all she has to do is Tweet some liberal stuff. That’s all Becky’s doing, she’s not a professional campaign manager.
Ohioan here, right next door, living in a Congressional district “represented” by a human-shaped empty suit who knows only how to recite the Tea Party punchlist. It is, in fact, a job requirement.
Schpoonman
Is that a list of people the GOP targets to economically, socially, and verbally punch down?
No, that’s the list of approved topics and positions, to be recited with the certainty of one who has their thinking done for them. Our congresscritter has not had a thought of his own in the entirety of his political career.
We’ve seen Robin try to “meme”. Becky knows how to ape Robin’s style of speech while deploying effective social media usage. Most politicians aren’t AOC or Mike Gravel, you know. Robin’s not an idiot about this particular thing.
Actually, I don’t think I’ve seen Robin actually lie or break a promise yet. Yeah, she is self-interested and has crappy policies, but she does seem to be pretty honest. This might be a moral point with her, though I might lean more toward her just being naive (she really does act like a child) and keeps her word because she never actually considers the idea that she could just break her promise.
I never said Robin for sure would betray Becky (though if it got her more votes – and it likely would with the GOP, I could see it. I don’t trust this Robin). I said if Robin WERE to betray Robin, I’m not sure what Becky could actually do about it. Which is why it’s a very good thing Robin’s so incompetent.
GoblinScribe
Robin has shown that she’s personally fairly reliable, in her own garbage way. She’s just awful with her politics because she separates the consequences of her votes from herself.
Tuition and a representative voting record, right? Leslie will probably be okay with Becky sticking around for a little while. I like where this is going!
In practice, Robin can’t be trusted. So only the “place to live” item has any sure value. Of the other two, “don’t betray us” is the more likely to get tossed aside, so Becky should go with the home and tuition.
That sort of realpolitik got us where we are today. Do you like where we are today?
Reltzik
Actually, the realpolitik that got us where we are today was all about abuse of the powerless and catering to the lowest common denominator, rather than mistrust of those who have earned mistrust.
Drawing on the moral of the The Scorpion and the Frog, it would be very nice if the frog could trust the scorpion. But only a very foolish frog would, given the scorpion’s nature.
185 thoughts on “Terms”
Ana Chronistic
Becky: I want a Winnebago.
Robin: What?!
Becky: Fully equipped. Big kitchen, water bed, AM/FM CD, microwave.
Robin: It’s not a car dealership, pal!
Dina: She wants a Winnebago.
Robin: All right. A Winnebago.
Becky: Thank you. Burgundy interior.
Galasso: Ah, I have never taken my wife to Europe.
Robin: I’m sorry to hear it. Give me the Tweets.
Galasso: You will buy me two round-trip, first-class tickets to Athens, Lisbon, Madrid, and Scotland.
Pamela: Don’t forget Tahiti.
Galasso: And Tahiti.
Robin: Tahiti is not in Europe!
Conquest: Excuse me. When you get re-elected, you give us geography lessons. Until then, this man goes to Tahiti.
Robin: Fine! Tahiti!
Joe: The young lady with the Uzi… She single?
Danny: Y’know, Joe, excuse us. This is the brass ring. Now you’ve got to think bigger thoughts.
Joe: I just want her telephone number.
Becky: How about a lunch? You can chaperone.
Robin: No. I will not do this.
Becky: Hey, Robs, Robs. Come on, the FBI would give him twins.
Robin: NO!!
Malaya: Wait a second. You can have anything you want, and you’re asking for my phone number?
Joe: Yes.
Malaya: [smiles] 273-9164, area code 415.
Joe: I’m Joe.
Malaya: I’m Malaya.
Robin: I’m going to be sick.
Jacob: I want peace on Earth and good will toward men.
Robin: Oh, this is ridiculous.
Dina: No, he’s serious.
Jacob: I want peace on Earth and good will toward men.
Robin: We are the United States government! We don’t do that sort of thing.
Dina: You’ll just have to try.
Robin: All right. I’ll see what we can do.
Jacob: Thank you. It’s all I ask.
Robin: What about you?
Joyce: Oh, I’m fine. =D
krveale
Well played, sir, madam, or nonbinary.
Well played.
I salute you and all who sail on you.
And I need to go rewatch a movie.
Doctor_Who
In this universe Robin legislates world peace not through the use of cereal, but simply to get Becky in her employ.
StClair
*chef kiss*
Bibulb
I am amused and curious as to who you’ve placed in each speaking role.
Also, holy hell do I love that movie so very, very much.
Bagge
I love how you introduced the world-peace bill
Walky_Talky
Ah, Tahiti. It’s a magical place.
Clif
We can rebuild him better than he was before. Better, faster, stronger.
UnfeignedShip
Interesting tidbit: The technical consultant for ‘Sneakers’ was the same one who did Wargames. He was the real deal and helped BUILD a lot of NORAD’S security and is the reason those two movies got so much of the hacking stuff right.
Charlie Spencer
Bandit: I need a car.
Little Enos:
Bandit: Speedy car.
Little Enos:
Bandit: Speedier that that.
Benjamin Geiger
Now look, she wants the Heki 2 roof lights, uh, the stylish ash frame furniture, and the scatter cushions with, uh, matching shag pile cover. Yeah. Right. And she’s terrible partial to the periwinkle blue, boys.
Xarls
Top comment of all time.
Rex Vivat
I have never seen this movie, I don’t even have idea what it’s about, but now I wanna see it.
Tim
Sneakers is one of the best hacker/suspense movies of all time. I love watching it even though I don’t think my first girlfriend ever saw it all the way through.
Obi Kemnebi
Enrollment and campaign honesty. You can tough it out until dorms become a real thing for you.
Chronos
Yeah, I thought the same thing.
LeslieBean4shizzle
Indeed. She has other housing options.
Jason
That or sticking to her guns. But yeah, definitely the two I’d recommend- although it’ll be even more awkward with Leslie…
Bagge
And that’s a real concern
And frankly, I suspect, something of a sneaky plan of Robin’s.
By having Becky work as her campaign manager, and Becky still hanging out with Leslie, Robin will have a kinda legitime reason to “Bump in to” Leslie again.
It will be painful
Keulen
Yeah, if Becky has to pick two of the her three terms, those are definitely the best two. Though I think she should try at least one more time to convince Robin to agree to all three of her terms.
Ganaroth
I’d go with those two as well. It can’t be THAT long until the next semsester begins.
(Re-checks what comic this is.)
Uh, actually she might want to give this some thought.
Needfuldoer
Don’t freshmen have to stay in the dorms, anyway?
Pylgrim
Hear me out, I know it seems superficially wrong, but I feel as though she should not choose campaign honesty. If she gets elected with the young liberal vote and betrays them, she’d be shooting herself on the foot and basically guaranteeing being disgraced on the eyes of both parties afterwards. On the other hand, her being elected would also prove that the young liberal vote is worth seeking, meaning true liberal candidates will benefit afterwards.
And all that without mentioning that Robin may end doing the right, smart thing, anyway (if only out of self-gain, but who knows, she may actually learn and grow) and thus, Becky would have cheated herself of either tuition or a place to live.
BBCC
No. Robin shooting herself in the foot isn’t worth the harm she’s going to cause to immigrants, afab people, or LGBT+ people.
Myth
I think they mean that Becky needn’t include campaign honesty in her terms because Robin will inevitably have to do that anyway.
BBCC
That’s just not true. Politicians have a tendency to go back to the party line when they’re elected to a specific party – and it’s too late for Robin to drop the letter beside her name just because the party cancelled its endorsement. Robin betraying what she campaigned on would ensure she’s not elected with the liberal crowd again but a) That doesn’t ensure she won’t get her old Evil Bastard crowd back and b) Her losing that kind of support isn’t worth the damage said betrayal would do to LGBT+ people, immigrants, and AFAB people.
ego
are you… asserting that real politicians don’t screw over their constituencies once in office?
ziggy78eog
I was thinking precisely the same thing.
Danielle
does tuition include dorms?
Doctor_Who
Nope, I had to pay separately. And a lot of universities force freshmen to live on campus for their first year. It’s a big racket.
Danielle
:V
Cooper
Becky says “Until then”, which implies she means room and board, although technically tuition is not the same thing.
Laika
How does this work if you wish to study later in life? When you might have kids, or just don’t care about dorm life with a bunch of youngsters? Or is that not a thing at all in the US?
Slartibeast Button, BIA
Probably won’t apply then. I believe the reason is that some 18 year old kids have no idea at all how to live independently, how to cook, how to budget, etc. So the school requires them to live in a dorm with a meal plan for the first year to avoid problems with clueless kids starving, etc.
Bicycle Bill
The catch-all term for later-in-life learners is “non-traditional students”. Most universities realize that most people over 25 (the general cut-off point at which you become a “non-trad”) already have a life, possibly a spouse, and a place to live and are not that heartless that they would force someone to uproot all that just to satisfy some chicken-shit rule about how “all first-year students must live in on-campus housing and sign up for the meal plan”.
MLEst1
There’s a waiver you can fill out
Usually it just says “I’m living with my parents/aunt/grandparents” but if you’re already an established adult you can get an override, too
Partly it’s as Slartibeast said, that kids don’t know what they’re doing. I was in a mixed year dorm one time and my roommate didn’t turn 18 until the end of her first year of college.
However, living on campus also helps to strengthen your bond with classmates and makes certain mishaps less likely. Many students don’t have a car, so being able to walk to class helps remove a barrier to attendance, as well as using the library or attending tutoring. This also gives students the opportunity to be independent in a way that their parents might not let them (mine still gave me a bed time at 18- not curfew, BEDTIME) while still providing a degree of supervision not found in regular apartment living. Also, I would rather live with an annoying classmate than the asshole I found on Craigslist
Rayndel
I worked a summer cleaning dorms for a Southern Baptist College. The first day I ate lunch with some of the other workers. One of the girls was complaining about needing to try to convert 10 people (or some other random number) but her parents forbid her from leaving the campus so she couldn’t do it. She was 18. (And I wisely kept my mouth shut, ‘cuz I’m not a Southern Baptist.)
Matthew Davis
Some campuses also have family housing for such situations. Usually it goes to grad students, but it can go to nontraditional undergraduates as well.
Solenoid
Easy: Enrollment, no betrayal. Leslie’s got you covered, Becky :V
ValdVin
I want a big American car that gets really shitty gas mileage.
Too Old To Be Cool
“Hey, no problem – we’ll even throw in a Blaupunkt!”
Bagge
This will all end up with Robin buying Becky a pony – won’t it?
DSL
“We want beeg American automo-beel. Weeth tailfeens!”
Needfuldoer
And you may find yourself
Living in a shotgun shack
And you may find yourself
In another part of the world
And you may find yourself
Behind the wheel of a large automobile
And you may find yourself in a beautiful house
With a beautiful wife
And you may ask yourself, well
How did I get here?
Slartibeast Button, BIA
Well, you can’t have that, but if you’re an American citizen you are entitled to:
a heated kidney shaped pool,
a microwave oven–don’t watch the food cook,
a Dyna-Gym–I’ll personally demonstrate it in the privacy of your own home,
a kingsize Titanic unsinkable Molly Brown waterbed with polybendum,
a foolproof plan and an airtight alibi,
real simulated Indian jewelry,
a Gucci shoetree,
a year’s supply of antibiotics,
a personally autographed picture of Randy Mantooth!
…
RobinReneeW
And a baby’s arm holding an apple
Darkoneko
Guess she’ll stay at LEslie ?
Doctor_Who
Better idea: Becky movies into wherever Robin lives, and Robin moves in with Leslie.
Naturally we don’t tell Leslie about this plan. That’s what makes it a shennanigan.
Stephen Bierce
Politics and Poker, Politics and Poker
Lay out your cards and find the Joker
Neither game’s for children, either can be rough…
inqntrol
Becky sure drives a hard bargain.
Woomy
Perfect. Choose place to live. You only have to stay with Leslie for a few months.
In fact, I bet Becky added that one to prepare for further bartering.
Woomy
This is actually pretty dumb of Robin cuz all she has to do is Tweet some liberal stuff. That’s all Becky’s doing, she’s not a professional campaign manager.
Robin is an IDIOT.
Doctor_Who
She’s a GOP representative for Indiana. Think she’d hold that position without being an idiot?
DSL
Ohioan here, right next door, living in a Congressional district “represented” by a human-shaped empty suit who knows only how to recite the Tea Party punchlist. It is, in fact, a job requirement.
Schpoonman
Is that a list of people the GOP targets to economically, socially, and verbally punch down?
DSL
No, that’s the list of approved topics and positions, to be recited with the certainty of one who has their thinking done for them. Our congresscritter has not had a thought of his own in the entirety of his political career.
GoblinScribe
We’ve seen Robin try to “meme”. Becky knows how to ape Robin’s style of speech while deploying effective social media usage. Most politicians aren’t AOC or Mike Gravel, you know. Robin’s not an idiot about this particular thing.
Lore Krajsman
yeah, there’s nothing stupid about acknowledging your weaknesses, and getting help from someone who’s better at it than you are
BBCC
I love Becky. <3 I'm not sure how much she'd possibly enforce such a promise from Robin but I'm glad she thought of it.
Robin, suck an egg. Or, if you choose not to hire Becky, enjoy your career as a tv talk show host.
Bagge
Honestly, I kinda thing she WOULD enjoy that once she got used to it.
Terry
Actually, I don’t think I’ve seen Robin actually lie or break a promise yet. Yeah, she is self-interested and has crappy policies, but she does seem to be pretty honest. This might be a moral point with her, though I might lean more toward her just being naive (she really does act like a child) and keeps her word because she never actually considers the idea that she could just break her promise.
BBCC
I never said Robin for sure would betray Becky (though if it got her more votes – and it likely would with the GOP, I could see it. I don’t trust this Robin). I said if Robin WERE to betray Robin, I’m not sure what Becky could actually do about it. Which is why it’s a very good thing Robin’s so incompetent.
GoblinScribe
Robin has shown that she’s personally fairly reliable, in her own garbage way. She’s just awful with her politics because she separates the consequences of her votes from herself.
BBCC
It’s her ability to do that that worries me.
Spruce Goose
Robin whomps in this universe.
Annika
Tuition and a representative voting record, right? Leslie will probably be okay with Becky sticking around for a little while. I like where this is going!
kendermouse
Pretty sure Leslie would be thrilled with Becky if she can get Robin to vote better.
LeslieBean4shizzle
An excellent point – I hadn’t considered the value to Leslie of a Robin Voting Promise. That might be better than rent.
Reltzik
In theory, it’s the best two to pick.
In practice, Robin can’t be trusted. So only the “place to live” item has any sure value. Of the other two, “don’t betray us” is the more likely to get tossed aside, so Becky should go with the home and tuition.
DSL
That sort of realpolitik got us where we are today. Do you like where we are today?
Reltzik
Actually, the realpolitik that got us where we are today was all about abuse of the powerless and catering to the lowest common denominator, rather than mistrust of those who have earned mistrust.
Drawing on the moral of the The Scorpion and the Frog, it would be very nice if the frog could trust the scorpion. But only a very foolish frog would, given the scorpion’s nature.