I think this confession will include a “We should date regardless of Amber” moment. Assuming he actually does and doesn’t talk about something completely different.
I believe he only told Ethan that he thinks he’s mega hot??? Confessing physical attraction isn’t the same as confessing romantic feelings. They also agreed to never ever act on the attraction because they’re both exes of Amber and they believe it would be possibly damaging to her to find out that they’re dating.
I don’t think his head is going to change that much. I’m still wearing the same size hat I wore when I was in the Army back in the early 1980s. I think some of you hadn’t been born yet when I last had a hat smaller than the one I wear now.
BarerMender
I think heads keep growing. When I entered the Air Force back in ’67, I wore a 7 1/4. Now I wear 7 3/4 or 7 7/8.
Agemegos
Hair certainly keeps growing. But if head keeps growing you might have either acromegaly or Paget’s disease.
I knew a fellow once whose acromegaly got diagnosed because he mentioned to his GP that he was taking larger and larger sizes in shoes. The GP commented that it used to be easier to detect when people wore hats and gloves.
BarerMender
Well, I wasn’t full grown at 18, but on the other hand, my shoe size is up to 13, which is big for a man who stands 5’10”. My dad’s hat and shoe size increase throughout his life, too.
Roborat
Sure that isn’t just because your hair was shorter when you were in?
Reltzik
But look how much his head size has changed in just a few weeks.
I don’t know if YOLO is outdated or not, but it was used for stupidity so it hardly matters. Also I’m not sure if telling someone you have a crush on them is appropriate timing after they just got kidnapped.
Honestly, I’ve only just now in the age of COVID started using YOLO in a non-ironic way.
IE: “I shouldn’t buy this thing I want online… but fuck it. YOLO.”
Life never feels shorter than during a pandemic.
“Life During Wartime”, and “All She Wants To Do Is Dance”, to name just two songs. When life looks precarious, making long term decisions becomes more difficult. You tend to live in the now.
khn0
Well it’s not like we were going to extinct ourselves through degrading our environment by YOLO’s global politics, anyway.
I never once saw YOLO used seriously (by normal people), even in its heyday. It was always exclusively used by idiots (or the reckless, if you want to leave leeway for a non-overlapping grouping), or to make fun of idiots.
In that sense, it’s like twerking- everyone knew the phrase, but noone (or at least, noone sober) with any self-respect ever used the term (excluding to make fun of it), much less acted on it. 😛
Though, silly as it was, twerking probably was at least decent exercise. YOLO was.. well, at best, it was Darwinism at work. At worst, it was yet another excuse for assholes to excuse their misbehaviors towards others.
@Kyrik “How would you react in Ethan’s shoes?”
I’m not in the habit of stealing other people’s shoes so as to wear them, nevermind doing so just to get confessions from strange hipster boys. Is.. is that a thing you’re into? ?
Oh god, maybe now isn’t the best time for confessions, but I still want these two to become a thing. Ethan deserves to be in a relationship that isn’t a) a beard or b) a sex-only relationship fraught with uncertainty and insecurity.
A disguise … in this case, usually in a relationship with a woman to hide the fact that you are actually gay. Was, maybe still is, fairly common of an occurrence.
RowenMorland
I think it was also coined when facial hair was really unpopular so a beard makes you unattractive to the ladies.
According to wikipedia: “Beard is a slang term describing a person who is used, knowingly or unknowingly, as a date, romantic partner (boyfriend or girlfriend), or spouse either to conceal infidelity or to conceal one’s sexual orientation.”
Ethan’s relationship with Joyce was basically this: him dating a girl so as to prevent himself from being outed as gay. Amber could count as a beard too, though that might have been an unconscious coping mechanism on his part.
In gay terms a beard is slang for ‘dating someone of a gender that you’re not attracted to to put up a front’. For instance, a gay dude dating a girl to please homophobic parents.
It’s a term that refers to when a gay guy would date or even marry a woman so that people wouldn’t realize he’s gay.
She’s there to make him appear more “masculine”, so she’s a “beard”.
Yeah, that’s pretty iffy, but it dates back to like the middle of the 20th century, they weren’t exactly PC back then.
Bicycle Bill
I first learned the term from the heterosexual male viewpoint. You were meeting a woman who was otherwise ‘attached’, and a male friend was present and, should someone who knew you saw you and the female and started asking embarrassing questions, was there ostensibly as her companion rather than you. Eventually, once the coast was clear, he would discreetly remove himself from the scene. Since this person was usually male, he was referred to as a ‘beard’.
BarerMender
When I first heard it, somewhere back in the middle of the 20th Century, it referred to a man going around with a lesbian to hide her orientation. I don’t know if either particular usage was original, or if it was always general.
HeySo
“She’s there to make him appear more “masculine”, so she’s a “beard”.
Yeah, that’s pretty iffy”
I always had the impression that it came about from the same perspective as a fake beard as a form of concealment. meaning “a superficial disguise” [a term I heard referenced to such a usage while within theater, though I can’t speak as to how recent such an adoption of usage is].
Nevermind that the term originally began as a term for heterosexual men who’d go along with a male companion to hide the fact that they were having an affair (on their wife, with another woman), and that that does in fact appear to have derived from the previously noted meaning.
So there’s definitely no reason to assume the social construct you’re associating with it. In fact, Google’d search results match to the etymological interpretations I provided above, with the only reference I found to the interpretation you offered (within the first few pages of Google’d results) being dated to 2015, and was contained within an opinion piece.
I’ve also found several sources which directly reference and invalidate the masculinity theory, noting that there’s no source for such an interpretation and that such an interpretation contradicts all existing sources.
So it may be a rather new interpretation, rather than an old one (in fact, the non-homosexual usage appears to date back 30 years before the homosexuality usage, with the generalized “concealment” usage presumably dating back even further, and perhaps to a rather significant degree- while not used as general slang, I’ve found etymology references of beards being considered a concealing element dating back to the 1100s.).
And even if the homosexuality usage was as well-dated as the other usages, again, the term of “beard” had alternative meanings (within theater or non-masculine references towards infidelity) within public usage prior to any potential use towards homosexuality entering the mainstream. Ergo, we can assume that even if beard did have certain implications to it, those implications were deliberately selected by early homosexuals. Which I believe makes such a usage cultural, rather than offensive?
So I think we’re safe on excluding that term from “the iffy list”, especially given that “beard” doesn’t in itself have any negative associations, unlike what actual iffy words would have.
HeySo
*Adding to the theater section: Beards as a deliberate form of superficial concealment date back rather far in theater, as they allowed a character to appear different while still being recognizable to the audience as the same character. Additionally, I’ve also seen beard as a term of concealment used within con/scam terminology, and similar. So there’s certainly precedence for general usage though, again, I can’t speak as to how recently that entered slang (ie, as an intuitive phrase, versus just being an associated conception with beards).
If person A is in a relationship with person B in order to hide their sexuality/sexual preference, person B is a beard
P!enapple
If person A is in a relationship with person B in order to hide their sexuality/sexual preference, person B is a beard
Wow! In the 2 minutes to peck this, 6 other replies lol
Leorale
The comments section is a very helpful place!
Renshear Blade
is there a known female name for a beard? i was a cover for my friend for a while before she decided to just tell everyone she was gay. I curious is all.
Jinx
AFAIK, the term is still a beard. Saw this occasionally when I was in the military back before restrictions were lifted. The “best” instance of this I ever knew of was a gay guy and a lesbian who married each other so they could move off post and collect housing and food allowances.
Garanhir
“Beard” is actually an old theater slang from the early days when they didn’t have a backstage. When actors had to exit from one side, but their next entrance was from the other, they would put on a false beard that would let them cross the stage as a different (minor) character who became know as “The Beard”.
HeySo
@Garanhir Awesome, thanks. I was rather sure of my recollections of a (very long-standing) predating theater usage, but it’s been so long since I was involved in theater myself (and I didn’t find any suitable google references) that I was hesitant to be more firm in my comments above. Glad to have the reassurance that my recollection on the matter is likely accurate. 🙂
Arioch
Strangely enough, it is a “beard” for either gender. I do not know why.
HeySo
@P!enapple Worth noting that beard (much like orgy and similar terms) defaults to a sexual association in non-setting-specific general usage, but doesn’t require such an association (hence its usage in theater, cons, etc).
This is petty of me, but I have always had an issue with YOLO because it doesn’t even try to explain the contradiction with Nancy Sinatra’s prior research in the subject.
Yeah, and that’s before we throw in ‘Ethan is/was genuinely romantically attracted to Mike (and never acted on it because by the time he realized it, Mike was such a constant active jackass he knew it was not a good idea to let himself actually be emotionally vulnerable there.)’ Which is like three different complicating factors on its own, some in different directions.
127 thoughts on “Lost him”
Ana Chronistic
“ETHAN… PLEASE SELL ME YOUR DINOBOT”
“what no”
“…I knew it, I blew it”
Nono
Didn’t Danny already confess to Ethan, though?
Kyrik Michalowski
I think this confession will include a “We should date regardless of Amber” moment. Assuming he actually does and doesn’t talk about something completely different.
Madock345
I think he came out as bisexual but not specifically that he is way into Ethan.
Kyrik Michalowski
Well both Danny and Ethan admitted their attraction to each other but they decided they couldn’t be together because if Amber.
Mae
I believe he only told Ethan that he thinks he’s mega hot??? Confessing physical attraction isn’t the same as confessing romantic feelings. They also agreed to never ever act on the attraction because they’re both exes of Amber and they believe it would be possibly damaging to her to find out that they’re dating.
Doctor_Who
Danny: good egg, slightly cracked.
Ethan, it’s your civic duty to seduce Danny. It’s the only way to separate him from the hat long enough that Amber can have it incinerated.
Madock345
The Slipshine I’ve been wanting on for like a decade.
Doctor_Who
Amber Performs a Mercy Killing on Haberdashery
clif
Too bad it doesn’t qualify as a book title.
Human Bean
Pfffft, thank you for this laugh :’)
But why do people hate the hat? Do they just think it’s ugly, or do they associate it with… whatever?
Kyrik Michalowski
Come on, his hat isn’t that bad, right?
danielle
give it 4-5 years and he’ll outgrow it
Opus the Poet
I don’t think his head is going to change that much. I’m still wearing the same size hat I wore when I was in the Army back in the early 1980s. I think some of you hadn’t been born yet when I last had a hat smaller than the one I wear now.
BarerMender
I think heads keep growing. When I entered the Air Force back in ’67, I wore a 7 1/4. Now I wear 7 3/4 or 7 7/8.
Agemegos
Hair certainly keeps growing. But if head keeps growing you might have either acromegaly or Paget’s disease.
I knew a fellow once whose acromegaly got diagnosed because he mentioned to his GP that he was taking larger and larger sizes in shoes. The GP commented that it used to be easier to detect when people wore hats and gloves.
BarerMender
Well, I wasn’t full grown at 18, but on the other hand, my shoe size is up to 13, which is big for a man who stands 5’10”. My dad’s hat and shoe size increase throughout his life, too.
Roborat
Sure that isn’t just because your hair was shorter when you were in?
Reltzik
But look how much his head size has changed in just a few weeks.
Reltzik
BAH! BAH, I SAY!
https://www.dumbingofage.com/2010/comic/book-1/01-move-in-day/together/
darkgloomie
Not to count the cuckolding might wake up Mike through sheer spite
Keulen
I think Danny looks better with that hat than he did before he started wearing it.
Keulen
Other than that, I agree that Ethan and Danny should become a couple.
DinaWho
The fez-destroying scene from The Big Bang but with Danny as Eleven, Ethan as Amy, and Amber as River.
Chris
Well, it appears that there’s one person who still says it, at least in his internal monologue.
Ray Radlein
“How about BOGO? Bi One Guy One”
davidbreslin101
“Bi One: Get One Free”? or is that chat-up line too desperate?
FacelessDeviant
Bogof. Sounds a bit too much like “Bug Off” perhaps?
Kyrik Michalowski
I don’t know if YOLO is outdated or not, but it was used for stupidity so it hardly matters. Also I’m not sure if telling someone you have a crush on them is appropriate timing after they just got kidnapped.
How would you react in Ethan’s shoes?
Rose by Any Other Name
Honestly, I’ve only just now in the age of COVID started using YOLO in a non-ironic way.
IE: “I shouldn’t buy this thing I want online… but fuck it. YOLO.”
Life never feels shorter than during a pandemic.
Opus the Poet
“Life During Wartime”, and “All She Wants To Do Is Dance”, to name just two songs. When life looks precarious, making long term decisions becomes more difficult. You tend to live in the now.
khn0
Well it’s not like we were going to extinct ourselves through degrading our environment by YOLO’s global politics, anyway.
Geneseepaws
I thought Bond taught us that “You only live twice,”. …Or so it seems? I mean once for yourself and once for your dreams.
HeySo
I never once saw YOLO used seriously (by normal people), even in its heyday. It was always exclusively used by idiots (or the reckless, if you want to leave leeway for a non-overlapping grouping), or to make fun of idiots.
In that sense, it’s like twerking- everyone knew the phrase, but noone (or at least, noone sober) with any self-respect ever used the term (excluding to make fun of it), much less acted on it. 😛
Though, silly as it was, twerking probably was at least decent exercise. YOLO was.. well, at best, it was Darwinism at work. At worst, it was yet another excuse for assholes to excuse their misbehaviors towards others.
@Kyrik “How would you react in Ethan’s shoes?”
I’m not in the habit of stealing other people’s shoes so as to wear them, nevermind doing so just to get confessions from strange hipster boys. Is.. is that a thing you’re into? ?
JetstreamGW
Carpe that diem, Danny. Dan it the fuck up.
Needfuldoer
Seize the carp!
Mae
Oh god, maybe now isn’t the best time for confessions, but I still want these two to become a thing. Ethan deserves to be in a relationship that isn’t a) a beard or b) a sex-only relationship fraught with uncertainty and insecurity.
Kyrik Michalowski
A beard? Is this some slang I’m unfamiliar with?
Dunedon
A disguise … in this case, usually in a relationship with a woman to hide the fact that you are actually gay. Was, maybe still is, fairly common of an occurrence.
RowenMorland
I think it was also coined when facial hair was really unpopular so a beard makes you unattractive to the ladies.
Mae
According to wikipedia: “Beard is a slang term describing a person who is used, knowingly or unknowingly, as a date, romantic partner (boyfriend or girlfriend), or spouse either to conceal infidelity or to conceal one’s sexual orientation.”
Ethan’s relationship with Joyce was basically this: him dating a girl so as to prevent himself from being outed as gay. Amber could count as a beard too, though that might have been an unconscious coping mechanism on his part.
Kyrik Michalowski
Ah, I see. Thank you for enlightening me.
Nono
In gay terms a beard is slang for ‘dating someone of a gender that you’re not attracted to to put up a front’. For instance, a gay dude dating a girl to please homophobic parents.
Doctor_Who
It’s a term that refers to when a gay guy would date or even marry a woman so that people wouldn’t realize he’s gay.
She’s there to make him appear more “masculine”, so she’s a “beard”.
Yeah, that’s pretty iffy, but it dates back to like the middle of the 20th century, they weren’t exactly PC back then.
Bicycle Bill
I first learned the term from the heterosexual male viewpoint. You were meeting a woman who was otherwise ‘attached’, and a male friend was present and, should someone who knew you saw you and the female and started asking embarrassing questions, was there ostensibly as her companion rather than you. Eventually, once the coast was clear, he would discreetly remove himself from the scene. Since this person was usually male, he was referred to as a ‘beard’.
BarerMender
When I first heard it, somewhere back in the middle of the 20th Century, it referred to a man going around with a lesbian to hide her orientation. I don’t know if either particular usage was original, or if it was always general.
HeySo
“She’s there to make him appear more “masculine”, so she’s a “beard”.
Yeah, that’s pretty iffy”
I always had the impression that it came about from the same perspective as a fake beard as a form of concealment. meaning “a superficial disguise” [a term I heard referenced to such a usage while within theater, though I can’t speak as to how recent such an adoption of usage is].
Nevermind that the term originally began as a term for heterosexual men who’d go along with a male companion to hide the fact that they were having an affair (on their wife, with another woman), and that that does in fact appear to have derived from the previously noted meaning.
So there’s definitely no reason to assume the social construct you’re associating with it. In fact, Google’d search results match to the etymological interpretations I provided above, with the only reference I found to the interpretation you offered (within the first few pages of Google’d results) being dated to 2015, and was contained within an opinion piece.
I’ve also found several sources which directly reference and invalidate the masculinity theory, noting that there’s no source for such an interpretation and that such an interpretation contradicts all existing sources.
So it may be a rather new interpretation, rather than an old one (in fact, the non-homosexual usage appears to date back 30 years before the homosexuality usage, with the generalized “concealment” usage presumably dating back even further, and perhaps to a rather significant degree- while not used as general slang, I’ve found etymology references of beards being considered a concealing element dating back to the 1100s.).
And even if the homosexuality usage was as well-dated as the other usages, again, the term of “beard” had alternative meanings (within theater or non-masculine references towards infidelity) within public usage prior to any potential use towards homosexuality entering the mainstream. Ergo, we can assume that even if beard did have certain implications to it, those implications were deliberately selected by early homosexuals. Which I believe makes such a usage cultural, rather than offensive?
So I think we’re safe on excluding that term from “the iffy list”, especially given that “beard” doesn’t in itself have any negative associations, unlike what actual iffy words would have.
HeySo
*Adding to the theater section: Beards as a deliberate form of superficial concealment date back rather far in theater, as they allowed a character to appear different while still being recognizable to the audience as the same character. Additionally, I’ve also seen beard as a term of concealment used within con/scam terminology, and similar. So there’s certainly precedence for general usage though, again, I can’t speak as to how recently that entered slang (ie, as an intuitive phrase, versus just being an associated conception with beards).
P!enapple
If person A is in a relationship with person B in order to hide their sexuality/sexual preference, person B is a beard
P!enapple
If person A is in a relationship with person B in order to hide their sexuality/sexual preference, person B is a beard
Wow! In the 2 minutes to peck this, 6 other replies lol
Leorale
The comments section is a very helpful place!
Renshear Blade
is there a known female name for a beard? i was a cover for my friend for a while before she decided to just tell everyone she was gay. I curious is all.
Jinx
AFAIK, the term is still a beard. Saw this occasionally when I was in the military back before restrictions were lifted. The “best” instance of this I ever knew of was a gay guy and a lesbian who married each other so they could move off post and collect housing and food allowances.
Garanhir
“Beard” is actually an old theater slang from the early days when they didn’t have a backstage. When actors had to exit from one side, but their next entrance was from the other, they would put on a false beard that would let them cross the stage as a different (minor) character who became know as “The Beard”.
HeySo
@Garanhir Awesome, thanks. I was rather sure of my recollections of a (very long-standing) predating theater usage, but it’s been so long since I was involved in theater myself (and I didn’t find any suitable google references) that I was hesitant to be more firm in my comments above. Glad to have the reassurance that my recollection on the matter is likely accurate. 🙂
Arioch
Strangely enough, it is a “beard” for either gender. I do not know why.
HeySo
@P!enapple Worth noting that beard (much like orgy and similar terms) defaults to a sexual association in non-setting-specific general usage, but doesn’t require such an association (hence its usage in theater, cons, etc).
Bruceski
This is petty of me, but I have always had an issue with YOLO because it doesn’t even try to explain the contradiction with Nancy Sinatra’s prior research in the subject.
Opus the Poet
How many people recognize that James Bond reference?
How many people know what the hell I’m talking about?
clif
All those who have been shaken, but but not stirred. But wasn’t Nancy Sinatra the one with the Boots?
Simarilian
Keep walking…
Simarilian
Old curmudgeon or Cassandras. They really should listen, but often do not.
Agemegos
“You only live once” goes back to the 1830s. The title of Fleming’s trashy novel was a play on it, and only goes back to about 1960.
Daring attempt at a hyperlink.
Jo Giggles
Oh Danny, you’re so preciously awkward
Reed
DO IT!!! DO IT!!!
Needfuldoer
Good work, Danny. Now kill him.
Do it!
Rabisch
Do it!
BBCC
Ah yes, the classic ‘do I tell him now so I don’t lose the chance or do I wait until it’s not so many heavy things on his plate?’ dilemma.
Regalli
Yeah, and that’s before we throw in ‘Ethan is/was genuinely romantically attracted to Mike (and never acted on it because by the time he realized it, Mike was such a constant active jackass he knew it was not a good idea to let himself actually be emotionally vulnerable there.)’ Which is like three different complicating factors on its own, some in different directions.
Psychie
But does Danny know about that?
Regalli
Pretty sure no, which is why he doesn’t bring it up.
But we the audience do, and we the audience know it’s its own exciting wrinkle of Potential Drama.