160

Cheery
Posted on May 10, 2012 by David M Willis
Who knew Sal had the capacity for puns.  

160 thoughts on “Cheery”

  1. Jen Aside

    Your secret is YOU LEZZIE

  2. Izzy

    Ht is a lOve for the vagina

    1. Yotomoe

      w-what?

      1. Izzy

        my iPhone wanted to make “her secret” a contraction and capitalize the “o” in “love” so it did

        1. iSaidCandleja-

          The comment was much more fun before you clarified. I was trying to figure out how to pronounce “Ht” so I could work it into everyday conversation and then define it for people.

        2. taekwondogirl

          I think it might sound like a grunt someone’s making while on the toilet.

          “Hnnt”

        3. Plasma Mongoose

          Agreed, I and many others have made that sound while shitting on the throne.

        4. Slagathor

          Photoshop those panties off of Billy on your gravatar, Plasma :3

        5. Khrene Cleaver

          Thise are actually spats, those short spandex shorts.

        6. das-g

          Green background? o_O

        7. Plasma Mongoose

          I been using a green background in my avatar in other forums/comments, but uptil now I being using red backgrounds for the DoA and SP! comments, I believe it is time for a change.

  3. Mkvenner

    Billy needs an intervention. Nowish.

    1. XMD

      in the FAAAAAACCCCEEE

      1. Mkvenner

        That’s optional.

    2. Mkvenner

      Oh i almost forgot.
      You’re still wrong, you stupid drunk.

      1. Wack'd

        And I’m still going to write a book by that title. It’ll be an international bestseller.

    3. Shade

      Shhh no one react to what I’m about to say… I think Billie might have an alcohol problem.

  4. Tom

    The real surprise here is that Sal was using a door.

    1. Yotomoe

      blasphemy!

  5. Leorale

    I’m pretty sure that wasn’t a secret, Billie.

  6. Plasma Mongoose

    How is that a secret? I thought everyone knew that Billie.

    1. Aizat

      Plas, you magnificient bastard! I would kiss you if you’re a gal and would give you a brohug if you’re a dude.

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        It feels strange to use a grav without a FACE!

        1. Undrave

          FAAAAAAAAAACE!

        2. taekwondogirl

          What are you talking about? The lips are nearly visible.

          …. 😐

        3. Plasma Mongoose

          ‘Loose lips sink ships’ that’s what they always used to say…

        4. Aizat

          I don’t think those are lips, taekwondogirl.

        5. Plasma Mongoose

          Pussy lips are an English slang term for labia, you might known them better as Beef Curtains, Muff, Tunnel Of Love, Poontang or even Gateway To Her Guts…

        6. Aizat

          Tell me more, Master.

        7. Yotomoe

          you left out tacos and clams…

        8. Plasma Mongoose

          I could be all day if I posted EVERY slang term for pussy lips, hence why I left out so much.

        9. David

          *facepalm*

          Gnnngh.

        10. Aizat

          I apologize if I had done anything that may had caused you to start facepalming. I am really sorry about my behavior. Please don’t ban me.

        11. Slagathor

          Everyone, say something that will make Willis facepalm!

        12. begbert2

          I just presumed that those ‘panties’ are the sort that short legs on them, and what you perverts are imagining is her crotch is actually just the side of her leg.

          Not that seeing some inner thigh is a bad thing either, but get a grip people. If you’re *that* desperate for some panty action, Sal’s still in the archive.

        13. Fnord

          Oh, it goes deeper than that. The Latin “labia” means “lip.”

        14. Wizard

          At least it has femurs.

  7. David Herbert

    I see she hasn’t sewn the N and S back on yet.

    1. Wack'd

      You think Billie knows how to sow?

      1. Yotomoe

        Are you calling Billie a pig?

        1. Andrew

          No she’s a Kraken. Because They Do Not Sow.

        2. I.care.0

          This was glorious.

        3. Anonymous

          Not a farmer.

      2. gangler

        Only thing Billie sows is her wild oats.

    2. Valdrax

      No, no — she’s just really into Rocky IV.

  8. typo

    Puns? What puns?

    1. Doctor_Who

      She’s very “Cheery”.

      1. tahrey

        Nope. Still not getting it. Is it a normerayankian kinda thing?
        /refugeefromthehomelandofenglish

        1. begbert2

          I’m normanaryan, or whatever, and I only just got it myself – Billie’s ‘s impersonating a CHEERleader!

        2. das-g

          “Impersonating”?

        3. begbert2

          She isn’t a cheerleader and hasn’t been one for months now. This fact was recently pointed out to her even, and by “pointed out” I mean “jammed down her throat with sufficient force to break her brain.”

        4. Historyman68

          Oh wow I get it

  9. Yotomoe

    :T I’m ashamed to say that panel 2 makes me want to see much much more of cheerleader Billie.

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      I’m astounded that she can fit into her costume as well as she does.

      1. Ian

        You think she would have put on 20 pounds over the summer?

        1. Plasma Mongoose

          You make it sound like putting 20lbs(9kg) is somehow hard.

        2. Yotomoe

          It’s called the freshman 15. So it’s likely. Billie just went overboard…

        3. taekwondogirl

          It doesn’t usually happen the summer before freshman year, though.

        4. Yotomoe

          Billie couldn’t wait. she was so excited

        5. Aizat

          Whoa, I just got a “Saved by the Bell” flashbacks.

        6. tahrey

          Depends how much you drink, really. Beer has lots of calories. And she does like a tipple or five…

      2. ASP3CT

        I dunno, she has the slightest bit of muffin top going on in the first panel.

    2. Aizat

      More cheerleader Billie? Excuse me, gentlemen.

  10. Bekah

    I want to see someone (Mongoose, maybe) make a gravatar of Billie’s crotch-shot.

    1. Yotomoe

      Wish granted. you have only 2 left.

      1. Aizat

        Really? Well, I wish….I wish…… I wish I was in Dixie, Hooray, Hooray.

    2. JK9000

      Well, that didn’t take long.

    3. Plasma Mongoose

      Do you want this Billie crutch grav for yourself, Bekah?

      1. iSaidCandleja-

        That was incredibly fast Plasma. I’d congratulate, but something feels wrong about saying “good work” while looking at that grav.

        1. Plasma Mongoose

          It only took about 5 mins on Photoshop and about 5 mins for Gravatar to show it.

        2. Wonder Wig

          It would be you to do that so quickly Plasma lol 😉

        3. Plasma Mongoose

          It helps that Willis’ artstyle makes it a lot easier to modify quickly.

        4. Bekah

          I love you. Platonically. But still.

      2. tahrey

        Why is the background so… green? I’m having GEM flashbacks.

        DESKTOP ITEMS CANNOT BE PLACED IN THE TRASH
        *row of bombs*

  11. Wonder Wig

    Billie was from the Dragonkin frat while at school.

    1. Aizat

      So, Billie is Dovakhin?

      1. Wonder Wig

        No, but she did go to Wizard School.

  12. Yotomoe

    Someone picked a great day to wear their Slime shirt…what with the beer stains…

    1. das-g

      And I thought it said “SLIM” …

      1. Yotomoe

        Is Sal the real Slim Shady? She’s slim and shady.

  13. John Madden

    No, Billie, you’re just colorblind.

  14. Yotomoe

    B-E-E-R
    what hinders my ability to drive a car!?
    BEER! BEER!
    YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY Beer
    Inhibitions Go away Come again another day!
    Go inebriation!

  15. Sensedog

    Billie, once again you make me dislike you and feel sorry for you at the same time.

    I can’t help but feel pity for her; she is having such a hard time adjusting to a new setting (mostly her own fault) that she is regressing back to her personal “glory days”, at least in her own mind (and with the help of her alcoholism). This is almost painful to watch. But at least Billie spoke some truth in the last panel.

    1. iSaidCandleja-

      I’m not sure it is regressing if her “glory days” were only a few weeks ago.

      1. taekwondogirl

        The time difference is small but the actual difference in setting and social status is a huge jump anyway.

  16. Brasca1

    It can’t be alcoholism since that’s pretty much known to everyone.

  17. Aizat

    Billy in her cheerleader’s outfit? I’ll be right back.

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      I hope that toilet paper is at least 3ply. 😀

      1. Slagathor

        Plasma, photoshop the panties off of billy in your gravatar :3

        1. Plasma Mongoose

          That would require that I raise the Gravatar Rating beyond G and Willis’s comments don’t allow that as far as I am aware.

        2. begbert2

          I’m pretty sure the Joyce-in-her-bra Grav I’ve been seeing around is a PG-13. But yeah, an unobscured crotch shot would likely be beyond the pale.

          (Note: I am not Willis.)

        3. Plasma Mongoose

          (Note: I am not Willis.)

          Well that blows my theory out of the water. 😛

  18. iSaidCandleja-

    I hope Billie knows you can’t become cool by throwing parties alone.

    1. Aizat

      Oh yeah? Tell that to Pinkie Pie.

      1. Kaylee

        Billie: I couldn’t believe they took that article away from me! What do you think, Mr. Boozie?
        Beer bottle: You’re right, Billie, you deserve to write about Amazi-girl!
        Sal: …there have got to be sane people here. Somewhere.

        1. Yotomoe

          Mr. Boozie is such a great friend.

        2. ProjectXa3

          Win.

  19. Aizat

    Why do I keep imagining Sal wearing a cowboy hat?

    1. Darth

      And riding Billie like a NO BAD DARTH

    2. Yotomoe

      o3o…I…I may have to draw that…

    3. Yotomoe

      There ya go

      1. Yotomoe

        Or lemme try this o3o

        1. Yotomoe

          http://oi50.tinypic.com/30hlflh.jpg whatever.

        2. Aizat

          Thank you, Yotomoe. That is really good.

        3. Yotomoe

          Sorry that I suck at all manner of hats.

        4. Aizat

          Hey, it’s OK. I like your artwork.

        5. Historyman68

          Yeah, that’s really nice, I like your style.

    4. ADHadh

      Because hats are glorious. That’s a fact.

  20. Valdrax

    Man, Billie really puts perspective into how depressing the notion is that high school might be the best days of your life.

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      That was just the right grav for that statement.

      1. Aizat

        And that is the right grav for almost any statement.

        1. Plasma Mongoose

          I wouldn’t recommend it for any Gettysburg-like Addresses though, it lacks a certain dignity.

        2. Aizat

          Well, that’s why I said “almost” any occasion. You need a tophat for that/

        3. Rimaslxbya

          Yeah, just shop a top hat onto the knee there and suddenly the grav is ready for political statements at the White House!

        4. Yotomoe

          I was indecent, then I took a top-hat to the knee

        5. Natalie

          We require a top hat photoshopped over Billy’s lady bits.

  21. KresyAntics

    Billie not the crazy eye look… Sal don’t look into them you will be traumatized for life. Noooooooooooooooooo.

    1. Thor

      At least Billie actually has eyes instead of shiny black holes in her face.

      1. Aizat

        What, like Youngblood’s disease?

    2. Valdrax

      Is it just me, or does Billie really look like “Buckets of Blood” guy in panel 3?

  22. Uniqueantique

    Don’t think HS was the best days of my life by a very long shot. I was there to learn not socialize. I always feel sorta sorry for people who say that it was ‘best days of their lives’, most of ’em would get along with Billie just fine.

    1. Zap Rowsdower

      If high school was the best days of your life, that isn’t a glowing review of highschool, its a sign the rest of your life was utter balls.

      And not the brightly colored plastic kind you find in ballpits or the elegant dance party kind of balls, either.

      1. ADHadh

        Really? Because I surely wasn’t happy until I started studying at a university. High school wasn’t bad, but I was glad I was done with it and I don’t think about it very often (and avoid reunions).

        1. ADHadh

          Oh, I’ve just understood your comment.
          I think I need a breakfast.

  23. Enderkap

    I feel really badly for Billie… This isn’t going to end well.

  24. sad

    I get it. Sal be cooler is a “secret” in the same way Billie being a drunk is a “secret”. Sneaky stuff David.

  25. Jim

    Gateway To Her Guts…… ????

    1. Aizat

      What are you referring to, Jim?

      1. Slagathor

        Do it anally

      2. Jim

        6 down from your first post

  26. tahrey

    Possibly OT question:

    If I’m thirty, and the age poll on the sidebar has options for 22-30 and 30-40… WHICH ONE DO I CHOOSE?!

    Bad Willis, making overlapping poll options! No! Get down! No biscuits!

    1. Jimmy

      Glad I’m not the only one who had that issue. I chose the lower one since physically I’m 30 but mentally I’m about 12. 😉

    2. begbert2

      Ooh, I didn’t notice that! I presume it’s a sinister plot to make approximately a twelfth of his readership’s heads explode.

  27. John42

    I’m too busy feeling bad for Billie to understand Sal’s pun

    1. begbert2

      Billie is acting… cheery. In fact, she’s the leading cheery person in the room right now!

  28. Gargamel

    What is the drink?
    Can’t identify it based on color or consistency….
    A Polish Bison in a soft drink bottle maybe?

    1. eerilychildish

      I looked at your link, then I had to look up what Bovril is, then I realized that this is possibly the most disgusting drink ever created, including some created at parties when the rule in my apartment was “you can make any experimental drink you want from ingredients found in the kitchen, as long as you drink it afterward”. On a side note, some really good drinks came out of these experiments, most notably a drink I referred to as “The Bloody Mao”, because it was a Bloody Mary with Chinese hot mustard and spicy oyster sauce replacing the standard Worchestershire sauce and horseradish, both of which were missing from the kitchen that night.

      1. Gargamel

        Now imagine the smell of Billies beef breathe and spilling the alcho-beef drink all over Sals hipster-t.
        Not as sexy now is it?

  29. Yotomoe

    That background Billie picture implies she WAS thinner back then.

  30. tbf

    Those aren’t panties! Those are shorts underneath, as they clearly go a little bit down the thigh. Unless maybe we’re to believe that Billie has boyshorts that mach her skirt and thought to wear them.

    1. Maycroft

      Well she is billie, and she is drunk.

      1. chumpersonable

        I just want everyone to know that while reading this I am imagining Mike having an argument with himself about Billie’s underwear.

  31. badmartialarts

    Billie is Drago!

    She must break you.

  32. Heavensrun

    Does the shape of that bottle make anybody else suspect that billie is drinking rubbing alcohol?

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      She’s better off drinking mouthwash, it contains alcohol and even if you spew, it will smell minty fresh.

  33. ziggy78eog

    The one time Sal decides to go through the door.

    1. begbert2

      I’d hope she’s now learned her lesson.

  34. Rimaslxbya

    This is the dance I imagine Billy is doing in Panel 2:

    http://youtu.be/z5sRNFNaYVc

  35. nothri

    Come on Sal! Teach Billie to be as cool as you!

    BTW, having passionate lesbian sex with your roomie while she’s in a cheerleader outfit makes you both wicked cool!

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      I endorse this.

  36. SeanNOLA

    Why is Billie drinking a bottle of Hydrogen Peroxide?

    1. Yotomoe

      Billie’s into the REALLY hard stuff

    2. Plasma Mongoose

      How else do you think she keep her skin looking the way it does?

  37. Aegon01

    uuuuuuupppppppppskiiiiiiiiiiiiirrrrrrrrrrrt.

    1. begbert2

      But it’s just a cheerleader upskirt – those are designed to be as modest as they are immodest, and as conservative as they are titillating.

      1. TPmanW

        As alluring as they are inevitable, as anticipated as they are disappointing.

  38. chumpersonable

    Billie’s secret is that she honestly has no idea that her old uniform is starting to become rather ill-fitting.
    …Although that’s not really the right quadrant of the Johari Window to count as a secret, huh?

  39. Jose

    I would like to let you guys now that Dave Willis is a jerk face (Jeph Jacques wrote that as the link to this site).

  40. Kernanator

    It took me 24 hours to get the pun.

    I feel so stupid.

  41. TheKelliestKelly

    Oh my goodness. This is at least the third time I’ve read this strip and I JUST now got Sal’s pun. I feel smart.

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