“My lyrical choices are not the thing one should be focused on – the fact you hear voices from self-placed posters means you’re the one who the joke is on.”
“‘I got it for free’?
That sums up the worth of your life and it’s philosophy”
(Replying that to a person seems mean but I am pretty sure from context it should be clear that this is a posited “Roadblock to Ethan” rhyme… I do not think Ethan, nor any of the readers or commenters of this thread, have worthless, valueless lives!)
I thought of that too but while she’s older, I’ve always thought of her still as one of the younger looking parents so not one to immediately get the ‘older woman’ tags.
Bash
These characters are 18. 30 is old to them.
AGV/Ruby
It’s worth noting that he said “older” rather than “old”. She’s just older relative to them.
Needfuldoer
Joe’s dad said she’s “like fifteen years younger than” he is.
If it is, does that mean Amazi-Girl and Stacy will have to directly interact? Will Amber take the wheel again? Will AG have to present “as” Amber? Or will she actively try to avoid her if this is her and Ethan tips them off?
A rapper to protect him from Roadblock’s disses? Yeah, looks like, but fortunately it doesn’t look like they need to be that skilled. Carla could probably do it.
Actually that’s a terrible way to approach a door defensively. Won’t protect him from much. Too much of his body is exposed in the normal places for gun fire or other things.
Well, if you’re going to look out the peephole, you’ve got to expose something.
Marillius
Which is why you don’t in this technology laden age. A selfie stick and a smart phone recording work better than any mirror slipped under a door ever could, and can be done at an angle.
Wait, I’ve mixed up Linda and Carol again, haven’t I? Linda’s one of the ones who is prejudiced against her own kids.
clif
You could go back to the 1940s/1950s and call them Old Lady Brown and Old Lady Walkerton. Much easier to keep them straight, but if you ever slip up and let them or their close relatives hear you call them that, you are dead meat.
staszu13
Yes and her good friend Carol Walkerton ?
Cattleprod
Yeah. Linda Walkerton holds herself above Carol Brown for the whole ‘accessory to murder’ thing.
Mike left this note saying that anything ever happened to him, he wanted you to have this life sized poster of him. You may not want it because it’s kind of strange and it looks like he’s destroying some kind of weird mechanical doll, but in the note he said to point out that it was free.
staszu13
Harriet Warner AKA Mike’s mom: Ethan, I was to give this to you in the event of anything happening to Mike. (Hands Ethan note). Exit Harriet
Note reads: Ethan, I am in witness protection now. Please do not worry about me or I’ll have to fuck your mom for a nickel. Mike Warner
Oh, I LOVE that Roadblock’s making his return from Shortpacked. I missed the Periodic Random Nerd Hijinks. And I love that Ethan’s just completely normalized this, even in his depressed state.
118 thoughts on “Roadblock”
Ana Chronistic
“The wisdom I spout you don’t want to hear / But what’d you expect when you put me here”
“OH COME ON”
Rolf of Many Doors
“My lyrical choices are not the thing one should be focused on – the fact you hear voices from self-placed posters means you’re the one who the joke is on.”
Miri
“‘I got it for free’?
That sums up the worth of your life and it’s philosophy”
(Replying that to a person seems mean but I am pretty sure from context it should be clear that this is a posited “Roadblock to Ethan” rhyme… I do not think Ethan, nor any of the readers or commenters of this thread, have worthless, valueless lives!)
The Other Mike
I wish Willis used Disqus for the comments here, because I have a powerful need to give this an upvote.
True Survivor
The poster is free, the curse you have to pay for.
Nono
It might be the character everyone’s been dying to see for yours, Naomi! Yay!!!!!
I mean it could be Carol here to harangue Ethan to make an honest woman of her daughter too, which everyone would also love!
MM
I’m going to guess Amber’s mom.
pope suburban
Yeah, Stacy is really the only character I can think of that fits the description.
Nono
I thought of that too but while she’s older, I’ve always thought of her still as one of the younger looking parents so not one to immediately get the ‘older woman’ tags.
Bash
These characters are 18. 30 is old to them.
AGV/Ruby
It’s worth noting that he said “older” rather than “old”. She’s just older relative to them.
Needfuldoer
Joe’s dad said she’s “like fifteen years younger than” he is.
https://www.dumbingofage.com/disengage/
Needfuldoer
If it is, does that mean Amazi-Girl and Stacy will have to directly interact? Will Amber take the wheel again? Will AG have to present “as” Amber? Or will she actively try to avoid her if this is her and Ethan tips them off?
John Campbell
I’ve actually been hoping Naomi would show up at some point, just so that she’d fall out of her top spot on the F-bombs-by-appearance chart.
Either that or earn it proper-like by ranting constantly about fucking.
gears
Oh. Ethan needs THAT kind of help.
Bruno
A rapper to protect him from Roadblock’s disses? Yeah, looks like, but fortunately it doesn’t look like they need to be that skilled. Carla could probably do it.
Random832
You wouldn’t be implying Carla has ever been not that skilled at anything in her life, would you?
Opus the Poet
Perfect avatar is perfect.
NGPZ
someone’s come and ya check em out
Roadblock got some shit to spout
DailyBrad
god, I hate Naomi. Also, Ethan, your friendship with Amber makes this much more sense now.
Thag Simmons
Ethan how long as this been going on.
RamenChef
Since 2005.
AY
Asher approaching the door so defensively… Buddy, Ethan isn’t the only person in this room with some trauma to sort through
Michael Steamweed
With an upbringing in _his_ family? Oh, yeah, he’s got some baggage.
Marillius
Actually that’s a terrible way to approach a door defensively. Won’t protect him from much. Too much of his body is exposed in the normal places for gun fire or other things.
thejeff
Well, if you’re going to look out the peephole, you’ve got to expose something.
Marillius
Which is why you don’t in this technology laden age. A selfie stick and a smart phone recording work better than any mirror slipped under a door ever could, and can be done at an angle.
Cattleprod
It’s Linda going door to door to remind people she’s not the worst parent in the series.
Daibhid C
Linda Brown: Clearing that “Not actually prejudiced against her own kids” bar by dint of not knowing she’s got any reason to be!
Daibhid C
Wait, I’ve mixed up Linda and Carol again, haven’t I? Linda’s one of the ones who is prejudiced against her own kids.
clif
You could go back to the 1940s/1950s and call them Old Lady Brown and Old Lady Walkerton. Much easier to keep them straight, but if you ever slip up and let them or their close relatives hear you call them that, you are dead meat.
staszu13
Yes and her good friend Carol Walkerton ?
Cattleprod
Yeah. Linda Walkerton holds herself above Carol Brown for the whole ‘accessory to murder’ thing.
Jo_cubstar
Does Ethan suffer from psychosis?
UrsulaDavina
That or the void between the Shortpacked universe and Dumbing universe is deteriorating at a much faster rate then previously theorized.
John Campbell
SOGGIES MAY RULE
staszu13
Ah but Soggies are I assume still long forgotten fictional characters who once menaced Cap’n Crunch in the Dumbiverse.
Aren’t they? (Dramatic sting)
HueSatLight
I don’t know why, I thought that word caused a comment to get auto-moderated. Probably to keep them at bay.
UrsulaDavina
Ethan seems… fine?
EtchJetty
ethan ? amber
hearing voices of superpowered individuals in their heads
(though im unsure if roadblock has powers??? i’m. not a gi joe person lol)
EtchJetty
though then again neither does amazi-girl so. JOKE STILL WORKS
RassilonTDavros
We haven’t actually seen her since Freshman Family Weekend, have we? Suppose she was bound to make a return appearance eventually. Ugh.
Yumi
Feel like it’s very possible Ethan has been ignoring her messages, so she decided to come see him for herself.
Which might be a good move if the parent in question didn’t suck.
MordWa
Older woman…
Mike’s Mom? (for a nickel)
Cimorene
That would be the most surprising and satisfying plot wise tbf.
Holly
100% now I hope it’s this
clif
Mike left this note saying that anything ever happened to him, he wanted you to have this life sized poster of him. You may not want it because it’s kind of strange and it looks like he’s destroying some kind of weird mechanical doll, but in the note he said to point out that it was free.
staszu13
Harriet Warner AKA Mike’s mom: Ethan, I was to give this to you in the event of anything happening to Mike. (Hands Ethan note). Exit Harriet
Note reads: Ethan, I am in witness protection now. Please do not worry about me or I’ll have to fuck your mom for a nickel. Mike Warner
Cimorene
https://www.dumbingofage.com/2020/comic/book-10/04-is-a-song-forever/cruise/ short older lady
AGV/Ruby
And now I’m sad
Wendy
Yeah that’s my guess too.
shadowcell
is it too late to request that my doodle in the book be roadblock
HueSatLight
She’s a classmate from fall semester, checking up on him because she found out he’s enrolled in a class with her this semester but hasn’t shown up.
Shade
When you’re more insulted by the lack of effort from the manifestation of your self loathing than the comment itself.
Michael Steamweed
“Is that the best you can do?”
“Oh go take a hike; we can’t all be Mike.”
Regalli
Oh, I LOVE that Roadblock’s making his return from Shortpacked. I missed the Periodic Random Nerd Hijinks. And I love that Ethan’s just completely normalized this, even in his depressed state.
Oh and we’ve got company I guess.
NGPZ
them brothas still got lots to learn
Shortpacked hijinks make their grand return!
JessWitt
Oh god I hope it’s not Naomi. My blood pressure can only take so much.
clif
It’s Robin.
She’s learned to hold a photo up to the peephole so that people will open the door.
JA
Ok Ethan, how would YOU rhyme with ‘appointment’? Sometimes you gotta take what first comes to mind.
Nono
Anointment?
Icalasari
She’d make an appointment to drown you in ointment?
Jamie
Badoinkment.
HueSatLight
Denouement /jk
HueSatLight
boyfriend
John Campbell
ASHER: “Oh, wait, it’s just that cougar I was banging before I met you.”
JENNIFER: :incandescent rage:
Justnobodyfqwl
Which DOA characters are the most likely to end up in cougar relationships, ythink? I feel like Stacy is the obvious answer, right
NickG
Has she met Jacob in this universe?
3oranges
Roadblock is a little rusty
At coming up with the mot justy
NGPZ