Dangerous
Posted on April 27, 2020 by David M Willis
Now Let's Go Commit Something Mildly Subversive Which, at Worst, Will Serve as a Humanizing Anecdote and Not as Anything Truly Threatening to the Power Structures at Hand, aka Dumbing of Age Book 9 (let's just call it "Book 9") is now up for Kickstartering!  See, it's that time of year for us again, plus a month or so, because World Be Crazy, but we're trying to do this anyway! Book 9 is 216 pages!  It's got the usual strip commentary!  It's got bonus art and rejected strips!  It's got 24 Patreon-only strips!  It's got a foreword by Dork Tower's John Kovalic!!! And, as per usual, we've also got magnets.  You can pledge for Sal and/or Amber to start, and a free Sarah magnet for everybody unlocks at $35k! Anyway, pray the post office still exists when this comes out later this year.

289 thoughts on “Dangerous”

  1. Ana Chronistic

    Joyce, honey, don’t throw scissors, and for certain DON’T OPEN THEM to throw them

    (unsheath… uncross… whatever)

    knee to the groin is perfectly acceptable, of course

    1. Ana Chronistic

      $300 pledge seems anticlimactic after the $10k Lackadaisy pledge tho

      still made it

      1. Mr. Random

        Really excited for them.
        Animatic was really cool too.

    2. Suitora

      Hurting people is fine as long as it’s intentional.

      1. SuperZero

        It is more likely to be fine, anyway.

        1. clif

          More likely to be effective anyway.

        2. Meagan

          Um…this seems like it probably has a reverse parabolic curve. It really depends on the intentions of the hurter (self-defense vs anything else, basically).

          I’m good at math but out of practice so if the reverse parabola thing doesn’t make sense that’s why.

        3. Lys

          Why not make it depend on the intentions of the hurtee?

      2. Screwball

        “Have you ever killed anyone?”
        “Yeah but they were all bad…”
        ?

        1. raultsi

          Hasta la vista, baby

      3. MatthewTheLucky

        This has been your daily morality lesson with Warlock!

      4. JA

        Ok Zaroff.

      5. Wizard

        Well, intentionally hurting someone who poses an immediate threat to you is acceptable, certainly better than accidentally stabbing a friend.

    3. SuperZero

      Wait, was she planning on throwing the knives?

    4. Tan

      I assume she didn’t intentionally open them. Some scissors (particularly older, worn ones) have loose enough hinges that they will come open without provocation, others tight enough to require intentional effort

    5. Some Ed

      That sounds like you don’t have very much experience with throwing scissors. This is probably a good thing.

      Most scissors thrown by a novice tend to open on their own, in response to the force of being thrown, unless they’re pretty tight.

      Just to be clear, my experience throwing scissors was all with safety scissors, and all directed at a non-living target dummy. They were inspired by a moron throwing scissors at me and insisting he didn’t intentionally open them for the throw. It took a lot of practice to find a way to throw them without having them open. That said, I opted to only use the knowledge gained from that experience to determine the words for the rant towards the idiot… and writing this response.

      I *had* thought that I’d successfully repressed that knowledge. Sigh. At least that was sufficiently back in ye ancient times that the elementary school in question had a nurse on staff. Also, at least I was able to move away from that school a couple of years after that event. Said event was not motivation for the move, but it was one of the many bricks in the wall that made that move be seen as mostly positive right from the start.

      1. Gash

        A whole lot of practice? it took me five seconds as a 10 yr old to figure out how to throw old, italian, professional and large scissors without opening them, so what the hell?
        I used to just grab them from the middle and do a flat throw.

        1. thejeff

          How do you throw them and get them to open?

          Maybe mine are tighter than most.

    6. Skeptible

      Catching scissors seems like a much worse idea than throwing scissors.

      1. clif

        Point.

    7. Needfuldoer

      As long as she’s not running with them.

  2. King Daniel

    It’s one of Shortpacked!‘s fight-scene redshirts!

    1. Needfuldoer

      Yup! Check his tag, he was also one of the goons who fought Amazi-Girl and Sal at the DeSanto rally.

      At least he got a mask out of the deal this time? Idiot needs to make some better life choices.

      1. Zaxares

        He didn’t even bother to invest in some groin protection too. Amateur. 😉

  3. Bagge

    KNEE TO THE DICK!

    1. clif

      What an odd nickname.

    2. Needfuldoer

      And one for Jenny and the wimp?

    3. Benjamin Geiger

      NAH nah!

    4. Geneseepaws

      Foot, knee, whatevs… at first it looked like an elbow from Joyce. But no, it’s a foot or a knee.

      1. Wizard

        Definitely a knee; her foot is down by his knee.

    5. Willoughby Chase

      ELBOW TO THE NOSE!
      TAKE YOUR PARTNER
      AND AROUND WE GO

    6. Jhon

      NOT HARD ENOUGH!

  4. SuperZero

    Well don’t catch them, Sarah. Let them fall on the ground and then pick them up.

    Also there’s six of them. You need some really significant factors to overcome six on one. Although the first one seems to have done fine anyway.

    1. Jhon

      Never try to catch a falling knife.

      1. Justin P Yates

        “A falling knife has no handle.”

        1. van Ryswyk

          That’s why I generally catch them by the blade. It looks cooler that way…
          Yep that’s my reason.

        2. SuperZero

          That’s much easier. You can get them either between your fingers, or through!

  5. butts

    DAMN JOYCE WITH THE NUT PINCH

  6. Buttery Commissar

    That last panel is absolute perfection, yet I’m still more distracted by Joyce cheerfully exclaiming about knives.

    1. Gunslinger

      I feel like Joyce in her infinite purity was thinking “I’ll look for more tools to cut our restraints” rather than “I’ll look for weapons”.

      1. Mordecai

        Well… I mean she *is* the weapon, so makes sense.

        1. Geneseepaws

          She is Rache personified. Somehow the English word Rage doesn’t cover the same feeling as ‘Rache.’. Rage can have logic behind it, but— The Idea of the ire and frustration of an entire Mob Mass Protest Insane Raging …but distilled into one single entity that is Joyce, … it’s beautiful.

    2. Bagge

      Maybe if the Blaine hangarounds paied more attention to that, they would be smart enough to stay away.

    3. Miri

      The context of most of them having their legs still duct taped together indicates this is more about removing restraints and escaping rather than “Amber stabbed Ryan 120 times. I bet I can stab people more than that!”

      She’s angry and prepared to use that, but given that she has recently learnt that even if she abandons religion she cares about morality, I can’t see her going on a stabbing spree.

      1. Bicycle Bill

        Maybe you can’t, but I can.

        1. Bicycle Bill

          Remember, this is the girl whose weapon of choice in the Walkyverse was a VBFG.

        2. Deanatay

          So, this is the scene where Joyce finally snaps and stabs a billion Dicks?

      2. Sunny

        Wasn’t it 60 times?

      3. Daniel M Ball

        I don’t think she abandoned Religion, I think she fired a bad church. in my mind, Joyce abandoning Religion would be like Martin Luther abandoning Religion. Joyce LISTENED to the message even while those spouting it were distorting it in their own minds to justify their own hangups. aka Joyce actually LISTENED TO WHAT CHRIST WAS SAYING, rather than inserting words into his mouth to support a power dynamic.

        1. thejeff

          Joyce thinks she’s lost her religion, lost her faith. We’ll see if that holds.

    4. Kamino Neko

      She’s snapped and thinks she’s in Toronto. She’s looking for Knives Chau to help.

  7. BBCC

    Good girl, Joyce. If you’re not a super skilled fighter, aim somewhere squishy and 9/10 it’ll bring ’em down if you hit it hard enough.

    1. emeraldbeacon

      99/10 if you hit it hard enough from TWO DIRECTIONS AT ONCE

    2. Cholma

      Maybe Joyce has seen the movie “Miss Congeniality” and took Sandra Bullock’s instruction to SING “Solar plexis, Instep, Nose, Groin!” to heart. 🙂

  8. Ryan the Cool

    I’m just waiting for Becky to show up.

    1. G97

      I’m worried about Becky arriving at the house after everyone’s already fled to the authorities/hospital/campus/wherever and being left with her dead/dying father and the psychotic mob member who probably blames her for his plan falling apart…

    2. Bagge

      YES. It’s her turn to save Joyce.

  9. Suitora

    Joyce went Hulk. I bet Walky is so proud of her. :*)

    1. Screwball

      Unless he’s jealous she did a better job of it… ?

      1. Laladoria

        He wanted her to hulk out a few panels ago. It just took her longer than expected!

    2. Ron again

      Unless he’s grabbing his groin in empathy. That looks like a ball-shattering kick right there. Not undeserved, mind you, just think it would hurt the empathic male mind.

      1. Geneseepaws

        Oh, oh yes, that panel made me cringe. That is a panel I don’t wish ever to see again,… yet, Good on ya’, Joyce.

      2. Wizard

        I call it the reflexive male wince. I suspect I speak for most people with testicles when I say I always wince a bit when I see a guy take a nut shot. Doesn’t matter how much I hate him, doesn’t matter how much he deserved it, even if I take a certain satisfaction in it, I still wince.

      3. Daniel M Ball

        lmao…”Empathic” and “Male” mind? Male empathy is limited to the following groups:
        1)people who haven’t hurt the male in question and certainly didn’t kidnap them along with six of their closest friends as part of an idiotic scheme.

        2)People who don’t qualify as enemies. (Which is different from ‘Adversaries’, whom are appropriate targets for empathy. Enemies are scumbags who deserve what they get, adversaries are just on the wrong side of the argument. I know it’s kinda hard for some of you to distinguish the difference here, but an Adversary is just ‘on the other side’, and an Enemy is something that deserves to die. An enemy soldier is an Adversary, the guy who kidnapped, abused, and threatened to murder/rape/harm your loved ones? that’s the enemy.)

        1. Delicious Taffy

          What are you talking about?

        2. thejeff

          Yeah, serious WTF there. The reflexive kind of empathy they’re talking about doesn’t make those kinds of distinctions.

          And I suppose this is different somehow from female empathy?

        3. He Who Abides

          I suspect that, to Danny Boy up there, it is.

        4. Delicious Taffy

          Empathy is gendered now, doncha know. I’m guessing it’s also binary and mutually exclusive, just for good measure.

        5. He Who Abides

          . . . I have a joke I’d like to make, but I’m worried that it’d be crossing a line with you. Really don’t want to say something that rubs you the wrong way.

        6. Azhrei Vep

          Certain aspects of empathy probably are. I doubt most women would have quite the same degree of empathetic reaction to a nut-kick, nor have I or most of my fellows shown the same immediate reaction to a woman complaining about cramps.

          But there are surely exceptions out there.

        7. Ellegos

          …I think they just meant that most men upon seeing someone taking a shot to the male genitals, end up wincing reflexively as their mind immediately starts to imagine what that feels like.

      4. Ellegos

        Weirdly enough, I can’t say I recall ever strongly feeling that kind “pain empathy”. Not sure if it’s because I haven’t been through enough physical pain, or just that I have a tendency to lose the memory of what the pain actually felt like as anything more than an abstract concept.

        That’s not to say that it doesn’t in many cases trigger sympathy! But there are very few times I recall in my life having a reflexive reaction to pictures or footage like the last panel.

  10. GutterChick

    I’ll be honest, if I got called for a job for a paid kidnapping and possible murder and the dress code was tied sashes with eyeholes and a supervillain motif instead of like, ski masks or something, I’d probably turn it down

    1. SuperZero

      …but you made it to that last part?

      1. Delicious Taffy

        It’s a tough job market. Sometimes, you take what you can get.

        1. Needfuldoer

          Gig economy!

      2. Some1

        Personally, I’d want to be the super dangerous guy who is way beyond everyone else’s level, but lets them go because I have some greater plan that relies on them being alive or something.

      3. GutterChick

        Well, my abuelo was a hitman…

        1. clif

          Abuelo means grandmother? It’s been awhile, so that may be wrong.

        2. Some1

          It means grandfather, Abuela means grandmother.

        3. Fuzi

          Grandfather. Abuela is grandmother.

    2. StClair

      What if they supply GOON shirts?

      1. Cholma

        Every TRUE villain supplies branded HENCHMEN shirts!

        1. Screwball

          And do they come in red? MINION is also OK…

        2. clif

          Minion is demeaning. It should be henchperson. But Goon has a certain appealing simplicity. Who could turn down a goonshirt?

        3. Bicycle Bill

          I’d rather work for a villain who recognizes my individuality and put my actual name — or at least my nom de guerre — on my official henchman shirt. https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Ci8LqOEWEAAQpXJ.jpg

        4. Needfuldoer

          They tried Minion, but got a cease and desist from Universal.

    3. John

      Honestly, a supervillain motif would make me more likely to take the job.

      One of the problems with this shitty timeline is that the villains responsible for the deaths of thousands have no fucking style. They just wear suits and bad combovers and ramble about shooting up bleach instead of wearing goofy-ass helmets and ranting about how they’ll show them all while carving their name on the moon with a giant laser.

      1. Bicycle Bill

        Fortunately, I don’t think we have a laser powerful enough to do that — yet.  But given the SCROTUS’s ego, if we DID have one, he surely would have already done it.

        1. Johnny Austin

          SCROTUS (acronym)

          Slimy
          Cant (exchange u for a)
          Reigning
          Over
          The
          United
          States

        2. Bicycle Bill

          Self-Claimed Ruler Of The United States…
          but I like yours too!

  11. Wynne

    Plot twist: Joyce becomes the new amazigirl

  12. Miri

    Joyce is an excellent candidate for using RAGE to substitute for fighting skills. She’s also getting experience: bottling Ryan, punching out Toedad, kneeing Dawson (who, despite referring to the dads as the old dudes, evidently likes the whole masked villain aesthetic)…

    1. Bagge

      She also kicked the shit out of that window. You don’t mess with Joyce if you know what’s good for you.

      https://www.dumbingofage.com/2016/comic/book-6/03-when-god-closes-the-door/frame/

    2. Quietlythundering

      Joyce Brown: What she lacks in training, she makes up for in heart (and lots of untapped rage)

      1. Needfuldoer

        Maybe ‘lots of untapped rage’ is heart power, which would mean Ma-Ti was the most dangerous Planeteer of them all.

        1. dralou

          He already was without the rage: the guy could order around animals to do his bidding and, if memory serves, could manipulate people’s minds, too. Also, he could telepathically speak with the other ringbearers, and help healing the wounded people.

    3. Mark

      For anyone reading this comic please do not think that rage is any sort of substitute for practice and experience. The power of surprise can take you far but you will get found out eventually. The belief that all you need is rage, anger, adrenaline etc etc doesn’t take into account that your opponent might be just as rage filled, be as angry, have as much adrenaline as you. Yes in this specific set of circumstances its working (and there’s no other better option) but once you’re able start learning how to fight (not learn martial arts but combat sports) boxing, judo, kickboxing, wrestling, sambo, sanda, muay thai that sort of thing

      1. Some1

        While every combat instructor under the sun worth anything will tell you this I think it bears repeating.

        Only fight if it’s absolutely necessary. If you can get away simply by running in the other direction, do that.

        1. Mark

          Agreed, the best fight is the one you don’t have

    4. Bicycle Bill

      There’s an old adage about how the best swordsman in France never feared the second-best swordsman, because they both observed and fought under the same rules.  What the best swordsman DID fear was the pissed-off peasant with a pitchfork.

      1. Mark

        My point is that relying on being angry and not bothering with training fails to take into account that the other person might also be angry but have more training

        1. Jon

          I’ve actually run into that. Fun part is, when they have training they expect you to do the sensible thing. Then you do something completely insane that they’d never do in a million years because it leaves you open to a counterattack if you miss, only you don’t miss.

        2. Chris

          The best swordsman fears the worst swordsman, because he has no idea what that idiot is going to do.

        3. thejeff

          There’s some truth in that, but mostly the worst swordsman just gets killed. Mostly there are reasons you’re taught not to do that completely insane thing and when you do it, you just get killed.

          I suspect this old truism is more true in training and practice bouts than in real fights. Sparring with the complete novice may be more dangerous – since they might do the stupid thing and you can’t just kill them and they don’t know how to pull their shots.

        4. Chris

          Mostly, he just gets killed. Sometimes, he pulls some damnfool move that gets both of them killed.

        5. Bicycle Bill

          Anger tends to fog the mind and training goes out the window.

        6. Mark

          No not always, in fact with training and experience (like I’m suggesting) anger can sharpen the mind when it comes to combat

          But thats just my opinion however I’m a former soldier that did occasional security work and am currently a Corrections Officer. Your experiences may be similar to mine or they may be different but to me training and experience (and size, never forget size) trumps relying on anger because the person you’re facing maybe more angry then you, maybe more desperate than you

        7. Vulcanodon

          If I ever get in a fight I’m hoping the writer will be on my side

        8. Sam

          Not necessarily. It depends on the person. If you have built your training into instincts, you likely won’t have to really think about it. While some people think more clearly when angry (I think it really depends on how much you let yourself lose yourself into your anger and give yourself permission to let go).

  13. Dave Van Domelen

    FREUNLAVEN!

  14. Cholma

    “Oof! That’s gonna leave a mark!”

    1. Mephron

      Somewhere down the timeline as Dawson’s potential son fades out of existence, people realize that Joyce’s kick actually removed a Mark…

      1. Cholma

        Nice!

  15. mrnoidea

    Ok, that’s actually a really cute book 9 cover.

    1. Wizard

      Only problem is, if the title keeps expanding, pretty soon the entire cover will be just a wall of text with no room for illustration at all. But yeah, it’s cute.

  16. Brumagem

    Joyce’s form has vastly improved since she punched Ross

  17. Diane

    And thus why Ethan kept his head in Joyce’s lap…Genius!

  18. Nono

    Only tangential, but how did Dorothy know last strip that Blaine’s phone was charging on the counter? Unless she physically saw him plug it in while they were dragging her through the house after the kidnap.

    1. butts

      Yeah, I’d imagine she noticed it on the counter. She’s observant.

      1. Needfuldoer

        Has Dorothy been doing Shawn Spencer zoom-in-noticing-things bits this entire time? Because that would be amazing.

        1. Miri

          She’s Kaiser Soze!

      2. Nono

        She’d have to know that it’s specifically Blaine’s, though, and not Ross’ or one of the flunkies’.

        1. Rotunda

          Ross answered Becky’s call to his phone, which was in his pocket.

  19. Christopher

    The kids are alright

    1. Miri

      Well, Dawson probably doesn’t feel OK right now… But nobody really cares about him.

  20. Stephen Bierce

    Rage Hard–into the light
    Rage Hard–doing it right, doing it right
    Rage Hard–against the dark
    Rage Hard–make your mark
    Let the tournament begin
    Don’t give up and don’t give in
    Strength to rise up, strength to win
    Strength to save the world from losing…

  21. DailyBrad

    If any other henchdudes are around, let this be your cue to look the other way and save yourself a nardkick.

    1. Bagge

      I mean, they don’t exactly stand out for their ability to make good choices so far, but eventually one would hope they get the message.

      If nothing else, because in a moment Dina and Sarah will be free too.

      1. Regalli

        So far, while they show negative ability to learn from their past bad decisions, they have not shown any deficits in recognizing an Obvious Present Threat To Their Groins as, well. An Obvious Present Threat To Their Groins. But we’ll see. I wouldn’t set my hopes too high.

      2. Mephron

        I feel a great swell of pity for the poor fools who come to that room looking for trouble shortly.

        Well, a small swell. As opposed to the amount of swelling, bleeding, praying, and wishing they lived in a universe with a benevolent god they will have.

  22. Delicious Taffy

    Can I make a request of y’all, unrelated to this comic?

    Don’t go out for fast food, if you have any other options. Please don’t be like the assholes I deal with daily, just stay the Fuck home or go buy groceries instead of spending $50 on fucking hamburgers. If you don’t have the option of buying groceries and you absolutely have to get out, please please PLEASE don’t be an asshole. Don’t get short with your carhop, don’t call the store during a rush to complain about some minor mistake, don’t lie about what you got so they’ll “replace” it for free, and for the love of god, act like you know how to read a fucking menu. If you’re having legitimate trouble or have an honest question, please just phrase it in a way that makes sense and don’t be pissy if you’re asked to repeat the question. The person on the other end (and we ARE people) most likely just didn’t hear you over the chaos and noise in the store. It’s stressful enough on a normal day, let alone during a goddamn pandemic, and we don’t need you to make it worse.

    That’s all I’m asking. Just… please fucking behave yourselves.

    1. Bruceski

      I know that temptation, but I have controlled myself and when all this is over I’m gonna go freaking HAM!

      Only not ham because, you know, kosher. But I’m definitely making a craving list of every fast junk food from Arby’s to… some place beginning with Z. I will find a fast food place beginning with Z.

      1. John

        We got a pizza joint called “Zachary’s” hereabouts.

        1. Miri

          We have a chain of Italian restaurants called Zizis

      2. Elisto

        Zaxby’s (fast food chicken)

      3. Opus the Poet

        Zaxby’s makes decent but not fantabulous chicken.

    2. SillyGoose

      Partial counterpoint: support your local business if you can afford to! Order takeout and pick it up politely while observing safety measure.
      Everything else: 100% yes.

      1. Ron again

        That’s what I’m doing. The grocery chains make a lot of money these days, while the local fries place using a lot of local suppliers could also use support. But I think it’s a different situation. The place I go to for fast food is actually pretty empty most of the time.

        1. Wizard

          I doubt grocery stores are exactly making out like bandits these days. Grocery store profit margins are razor thin in the best of times. Faced with increased cleaning, uncertain supply chains, idiotic anti-gouging laws, etc., their costs are probably rising at least as fast as their revenue.
          I tend to agree about supporting local business wherever you can, though. Especially if you want them to be around when things get back to something resembling normal.

      2. PB

        This is basically what my family and I are doing, supporting local grocery stores and ordering food when we get antsy. We’re all on diets so our fast food choices are limited either way, but something about getting food you didn’t make yourself just helps remind you that the world is still turning. But yeah, with that exact mindset in mind, be good to people. We’re all in the same boat here.

    3. Geneseepaws

      And please Tip the carhop, who is risking contagion to FEED YOU. Thanks!

      1. Delicious Taffy

        But if I tip the carhop, I might only have a $45 budget, instead of the $55 I wanted to spend! D’:

        1. He Who Abides

          Plus, if you do it hard enough, they might get hurt.

    4. Wizard

      Depending on the restaurant, it can also be helpful to order ahead online or via mobile app. It cuts down on confusion, and if you can pay through the app, that reduces necessary contact just that little bit more.

      1. Delicious Taffy

        The order-ahead service where I work goes through the most incompetent web designer I’ve seen in a while. It causes more confusion than anything else, because suddenly there’s a huge order on my screen. Not only are they almost always huge, they also tend to have exceptions and additions, but it’s all listed in a completely backwards way.

        For example, if you order-ahead a cheeseburger with only ketchup and onions, my screen will say:

        CB
        Add
        No Tom
        No Let
        No Pickles
        No Must
        No Mayo

        Now, maybe that looks concise right now, when you can just read it without the other 15 items that would accompany it, but during a rush it’s adding a few seconds of me trying to puzzle out what you actually DO want. Sure, I know by reflex what a regular burger gets, and it’s not “hard” to figure out, but it does take time I could be better using to get your other 7 burgers and assorted sides started.

    5. Vulcanodon

      We frequent a local burger joint – want them to still be around when this is all over. I mean, I always try to be nice to service people because I’ve spent most of my life until recently doing just that. But I do like a burger.

    6. Mephron

      We’re supporting our local businesses like that. The local pizza places, the local bagel shop, a nearby BBQ place that’s awesome, a new local Chinese restaurant… we’re getting it delivered, we’re putting in the orders through their web sites, we’re tipping through the web sites, and the one time there was a mistake on the order, we called, waited, and I tried to be as polite as I could be while spitting out salt water.

      (today’s restaurant tip: check the shaker first. salt does not work on zeppoli, when you’re expecting sugar.)

    7. Foxhack

      I try to support local businesses when I can, so while I understand your concern… I also want my favorite restaurants to still exist when this is over. 🙁

      Like this weekend I visited a guy who sells cooked pork, I hadn’t gone there in a month and he said he’s only handling sales to go. No one can dine in. I was glad to see he was still going and he was happy to see me too.

  23. Grath

    Did she just PINCER MOVEMENT his balls

    1. TlalocW

      It kind of looks like both a knee and an elbow to the nuts.

      1. clif

        She is good with scissors.

      2. Grath

        A pincer movement is a military tactic where you surround your enemy on 2 sides & “close in” on them. It can be very effective

        1. Needfuldoer

          Darmok and Jalad at Tanagra!

        2. Tim

          More like TaNadsgra.

        3. Needfuldoer

          Tim, his eyes open!

        4. Mephron

          Dawson, screaming in soprano pitch!

    2. NinjaNick

      He’ll be bleeding down there for a while. 😛

    3. Wizard

      Almost what you might call a…. (wait for it) nutcracker?

      1. He Who Abides

        YEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAH!

  24. StClair

    Never mind the scissors, Joyce herself is probably the most dangerous thing in that kitchen.

  25. Kernanator

    Joyce plays Barbarian.

    1. The Aussie Bloke

      Barbarian/Monk. Gotta have those unarmed combat feats

      1. Sunny

        Not sure that works. Monks have to be Lawful while Barbarians cannot be Lawful. She could be some Barbarian variant which gets access to unarmed combat feats, though. That’s what I’d do as a GM.

        1. anonymsly

          That requirement is gone in 5e, but barb/monk isn’t a hugely desirable combo in 5e. There’s some overlap of non-stackable class features, and barb incentivizes Strength/Constitution while monk incentivizes Dexterity/Wisdom. It’s doable and functional but super MAD (multi-ability dependent) to be so.

        2. Kernanator

          In Pathfinder 2e, on the other hand, taking Barbarian with a Monk archetype (or vice versa) is totally workable. You’re only dependent on 3 abilities (Strength, Dexterity, and Constitution) because you don’t have to take Wisdom-dependent features if you don’t want to.

  26. Bruceski

    Aw fudge, it’s That Guy.

    1. Wizard

      Aw, That Guy, he’s fudged.

  27. Meagan

    How does this kidnapping escape scene manage to be adorable?

  28. Qube

    Joyce is gonna teach these fools the definition of the word “nemesis”

    1. Xenocide

      A righteous infliction of retribution manifested by an appropriate agent? Personified in this case by an angry college girl.

      Yeah, that works.

  29. Beef

    Hey it’s one of scarface’s homies! Rip his balls off, Joyce <3

    1. Segnosaur

      Yes. Just noticed the name tag “Dawson”. Seen during the fight at the campaign rally with Amazigirl/Sal and Ryan.

      Nice tie-in.

      1. Bicycle Bill

        Dawson also was one of the ‘unpaid interns’ meeting Robin DeSanto at the airport during that story arc.  The distressing thing is that this is the fourth low-level henchman (after Asher and the two unnamed mooks who were seen turning Amber loose) that Blaine has gotten together to pull off this caper.  Sort of makes you wonder how many more he was able to assemble, and who.

        1. segnosaur

          To be honest, I’m less worried about Blaine recruiting from the former Amazi-girl villain pool… they have already been beaten once by Amazi-girl, and are likely to be even more amateurish than Blaine/Toedad.

          I would actually be worried if he actually hired mafia-type goons with more experience and more ruthlessness.

  30. Rabid Rabbit

    “Also, Joyce has really been wanting to touch a weiner, but due to weird morality issues she still can’t being herself to do it for fun. But she’s fine with doing it in a rage, so…”

    1. Miri

      Note to self: if I ever spontaneously grow a dick, don’t get a handjob from somebody fueled by RAGE and sexual repression…

      1. Delicious Taffy

        Don’t knock it til ya try it.

        1. He Who Abides

          Spontaneously grow a dick? Is that even possible?

  31. Sporky

    I often thought “these comments about the next book title are funny, but there’s no way he’s gonna use one that long”. Shows what I know

    1. clif

      Did anyone suggest this one though?

      1. Tan

        Yes. https://www.dumbingofage.com/2018/comic/book-9-comic/01-flyin-to-the-red/subterfuge/#comment

        (also the hovertext on the comic indicates that it had already been decided before the suggestion)

        1. King Daniel

          IIRC, the original version of that hovertext referred to panel four specifically – but after the comments started clinging to Dorothy’s quote in panel five (and remarked upon by Willis himself in the comments section), the hovertext changed to refer simply to the title being somewhere in the strip.

  32. Regalli

    This? This is beautiful.

    Seriously though Joyce scissor safety. I get that time’s of the essence, but no stabbing people’s eyes out on accident!

    On purpose is totally permissible though. Obviously.

  33. Agemegos

    Joyce, honey, one piece of advice: keep kicking until they vomit blood.

    1. Ron again

      You don’t? I do, actually.

      1. Agemegos

        Don’t?

  34. Sirksome

    I hope Blaine didn’t break the bank on these hires cause they are not worth the money.

    1. Rabid Rabbit

      Blaine’s involvement with money is mostly laundering it. I doubt he has a very good sense of what it’s actually worth.

    2. Segnosaur

      It has been noted that this guy (Dawson) is one of Ryan’s friends (seen at the campaign rally fight). So he might be there just for revenge against Amazigal.

      (I wonder if all the henchmen have the same backstory… Guys seeking vengeance against Amazigal after she stopped their crimes, rather than being paid thugs…. Makes sense that Blaine would not have a lot of money to spend to hire goons)

      1. Regalli

        I believe we identified the goons who brought Amber out as the unnamed extras who were bullying Danny the night he met Amazi-Girl? (Waaaay back in Book One.) And/or went to the fake location AG had set up as a trap to harass one of Ryan’s accusers, and got the shit beaten out of them by her and Sal.

        In which case, three vengeance goons is a trend.

        1. Sombrero

          So… the next one will be Biff? That would be much tougher.

  35. Jason Rivest

    I think Dorothy may be back being my favorite character.

  36. Buli-Buli

    Just a reminder everyone.
    Joyce rage punched Toedad (a large, squat, wall of muscle) hard enough he lifted off the ground.
    It’s also possible she K.O.ed him with thst first hit.
    Toedad just too a hammer to the skull and got right back up to continue fighting.

    Joyce can hit HARD.

    1. Some1

      Separate reminder, Joyce can also teleport.

      I think Joyce just straight up has superpowers that she isn’t aware of and Willis is seeing if he can turn a slice of life comic into a super hero/shonen battle comic so slowly that no one notices.

      1. Regalli

        I’m telling you. One day, he caves and brings Head Alien into this universe. And on that day, I will be happy. And also on that day, HA will be surprised to discover Dorothy, Becky, Sarah, and Amber (who he either has never heard of or sees as extras) are as big threats as Joyce and Sal, that Dina is a combatant now, and that someone’s about to discover whether or not Aliens have femurs, and whether or not they need them to live.

        And then the universe is overcome by Soggies, obviously.

      2. Heavensrun

        What? That doesn’t seem like a thing Willis would do. Turning a slice of life comic about college students into a superhero story. I mean, really.

    2. Rabid Rabbit

      To be fair, Toedad had just been in a car accident when she did that.

    3. Wizard

      Made a bit more realistic by the fact that she also injured her hand in the process. We’ve all heard stories about a woman lifting a car off her kid or something similar, but what those stories usually leave out are the injuries mom suffered in the process. Most people are significantly stronger than they realize, but we never use our maximum strength in ordinary situations because pain is the body’s way of shouting “Knock it off before you break something!” at the brain. A panic-induced surge of adrenaline can override the “avoid pain” reflex, but it can’t prevent the resulting damage.

  37. bryy

    Man, the downer strips after this fight are gonna be BRUTAL.

    1. Bagge

      at least for Dawson. hur hur

  38. Ray Radlein

    You’ve been letting Fiona Apple title your books again, haven’t you

  39. NinjaNick

    Yes, Joyce and Dina are still in the Top 3. The more crotch kicks, the merrier. I’m confident Final Boss Blaine is wearing a steel cup, though.

  40. Yotomoe

    Hot.

    1. Yotomoe

      I mean haha this totally isn’t my fetish hahahaha

  41. Yotomoe

    Also I got a commission for wet t-shirt Joyce. NSFW.
    https://imgur.com/a/q1brrJO

    1. Delicious Taffy

      Nice work on the water. It looks really nice.

    2. NickG

      The Zipatone style shading is really good.

    3. Willoughby Chase

      tbh, I was expecting bigger nipples

  42. Shane

    ARG MY DICK AND BALLS

    Oh and thanks for referring to her as a hostage in front of so many witnesses, showing willing premeditation and participation in the felony kidnapping. Enjoy your prison time. Well assuming they find you, which shouldn’t be too hard. You’ll be the limping one who missed class and has the contused, purple scrotum.

    1. Shane

      On second thought, if you’ve got time, someone rip the mask off and take a cell phone pic on your way out while he curls into the fetal position, whimpering.

      1. Roach

        a dedicated nut shot really does hurt THAT bad. i took a stupid bet once so i know.

  43. Some1

    My guess for the next strip.

    Dorothy: Okay, now that were all free let’s…

    Faz: Not so fast.

    Sarah: Really, Faz? Look, just get out of the w…

    Spongebob style 4 minutes later.

    Joyce: How! How is Faz actually beating us!?

    I know it won’t actually happen, but it would be fucking amazing.

    1. Roach

      i dunno, i feel like faz isn’t deliberately terrible, he just doesn’t know that what he does is awful. like he’s a bad person, but if a bright enough mirror could be shined on his terrible-ness he might have a chance at redemption.

    2. Segnosaur

      Remember faz was “beaten” by Dina (she had him tied up and turned over to Ruth at the end of family day). So I don’t think he is much of a fighter.

      1. thejeff

        Faz would have a mask and thus, like Blaine, be much tougher than he was back then.

        Doesn’t seem to have worked for Dawson, but he’s a mook.

    3. NinjaNick

      I can only picture Faz less as a fighter, more of a squealer.

      1. BenRG

        Faz is the sort who will take credit for all his assigned team’s successes and blame his subordinates for all the team’s failures. Also, yes, hiding behind a barricade and screaming orders from safety.

  44. Bagge

    The starter is KICKED. How could I ever say no to a book with Dorothy on the cover?

  45. Icalasari

    Can confirm, rage is a very good pinch tool

  46. Some1

    I have been in college for three years and I have yet to be kidnapped nor have I heard anything about any kidnappings for my entire college career. I’m starting to suspect these kids have very very bad luck.

    1. DonDueed

      No, just very very had parents.

  47. TheFlamingonator

    Why stop at scissors theres probably knives too? or one of them meat hammers?

    1. King Daniel

      I don’t think meat hammers are very good for cutting the tape still binding their legs.

    2. Laladoria

      She was gonna look for knives when they were interrupted.

  48. Roach

    fuckin get ’em, joyce

  49. Brasca1

    She kicked Dawson right in the Creek.

  50. BenRG

    Someone will be singing castrato for the rest of their lives, I think.

  51. Keulen

    *plays Trauma To The Groin by Heywood Banks on the hacked muzak*

  52. abysswatcher1993

    There it is! It’s smashing time, time to hulk out, time to oraemashinderu, the Makoto Niijima power moment, the Guts berserk moment, the Alucard trump card moment, the Jesse McCree’s high noon, the sober Trevor Belmont hour, the Renegade Shepard quick time event, the Kratos quick time event… I am running out of names.

  53. Thanatos

    As very gay male as I am…. I am still totally hot for Joyce right now. Wow. Your righteous rage is awesome and you need to express it all over the place right this very moment!

  54. Derek

    ok if these kids are full of fight right NOW, what the hell happened when they were dragged here? Did they not fight? they didn’t resist kicking and screaming? they just ragdolled?

    1. Sam

      It is a lot easier to fight people you are running at willingly and expecting to try to hurt you, than people who grab you in the dark in a surprise kidnapping where you may say, freeze on instinct, as is actually the most common reaction to danger, not fight or flight. This is active choice rather than acting on instinct and they’re not disadvantaged by being surprised or darkness.

      1. segnosaur

        Plus, when the kidnappings occurred they probably had multiple henchmen for each victim (grabbing them 1 or 2 at a time). Easier to control victims when you outnumber them.

        Here, the victims outnumber the henchmen.

  55. SillyGoose

    Ithink now is the oneday of the year where we get to dust out and use the famed “Thank you, Willis!”

    Of course here’s probably a “Damn you, Willis!” waiting to for its cue next strip.

  56. DarkoNeko

    ow.

    Hey, the outside lightning and visible shape of surrounding buildings on today’s page is making me curious. Daylight already pointing its nose ?

    1. DarkoNeko

      (and hey, Joyce found the way to not hurt her wrist)

    2. Rotunda

      Ruth commented to Amber that it was almost sunrise.

    3. Bicycle Bill

      According to the timeline, this is supposedly October 20th.  Considering sunrise in Bloomington in late October is around 7:40 AM — and it was already 4:00 AM when the fire alarm was pulled — I would be surprised if it wasn’t nearly full daylight by now.

  57. ADLegend21

    YEAH Kick all the dudes in the balls Joyce! Dorothy you mad genius setting Joyce on them.

  58. Bicycle Bill

    Speaking of kicking, Kickstarter is already 70% funded as of 3:45 AM Willis Time.

  59. Heavensrun

    I feel like once the arms were free they had better options than to keep gnawing at Joyce’s leg-tape?

    1. foamy

      Yeah… I mean, duct tape can be straight up torn by hand. Seems odd, but then again, I’m no escapologist.

  60. adam Black

    ZOMFG
    “Dorothy I know you love showing your work,
    but this is the middle of a Heist “ing our Keisters outta here
    https://www.dumbingofage.com/2018/comic/book-9-comic/01-flyin-to-the-red/trafficked/

    1. Mark

      Hey it worked for Bond villians…

  61. Wraithy2773

    For what it’s worth, as much fun as they are, nut-strikes are generally a bad thing to try in an actual fight.

    Yes, if you hit, it can be a debilitating blow, but you’re aiming at a precise target that you really do need to hit pretty squarely, one that men tend to be aware they should be protecting and may move away from or block on pure instinct, and there’s a lot of other large, soft targets to aim for instead.

    Also, if you miss, the guy’s counterattack may be hard to avoid, since you’re generally, ya know, having to get in fairly close to make that strike.

    Also also, uh, not every attacker has balls to hit, but they all have windpipes, kidneys, stomachs and lots of other places to strike at. Obviously not a problem in *this* case, but still, worth keeping in mind :D.

    1. JBento

      Windpipes are ALSO pretty debilitating even if you don’t put in enough force to squash the trachea, and I can tell you from experiencing they’r epretty easy to hit when you’re shorter than the target.

      Going for the throat and eyes is your best bet in any REAL fight that you’re committed to winning.

      1. He Who Abides

        There’s a huge nerve that runs along the thigh, and another cluster in your armpit, that can shut down the associated limb if you hit them. I’ve used that thigh one before, and it can end a fight rather quick-fast.

    2. BBCC

      Nuts are good if you can hit (which…Joyce clearly could) but honestly, anywhere squishy (or the shins or instep) will do in a pinch.

      Word of warning though – you really shouldn’t go for the throat unless someone comes at you with murderous intent because if you hit them hard enough to bring them down, odds are decent they won’t get back up.

    3. segnosaur

      Yeah, testicles make a small target, but at least the legs sort of guide your leg to the desired target. And even if you miss, you can still knock someone off balance. And in their desire to protect themselves, they will leave themselves open to other attacks.

  62. He Who Abides

    I know that he’s a misogynistic shit-hole and all, but DAMN did I wince at that nut shot.

  63. BenRG

    “Joyce Brown, your heart is one filled with the purest rage. You belong to the Red Lantern Corps!“

    1. Brainstorm

      YOU. I like you. You can boink my sister.

  64. OtterBoy1

    These book titles keep getting longer and longer.

    1. Wizard

      A few more volumes, and the entire cover will be just a solid wall of text. That, or the font will get so small each book will come with a magnifying glass just so you can read it.

  65. ValdVin

    Gotta admire the use of the Unsound Effect in the last panel.

  66. Booker

    I just heard his voice go up as many octaves as Joyce’s Rage level…get that man an icepack….and some handcuffs cause criminal at this point

  67. Vulcanodon

    This sequence needs background music; I nominate You Say Run

  68. Koms

    She really got him between her knee and elbow. I like hulk Joyce.

  69. Douglas

    “Hey, Hostage” feels like something anyone could use on any of us during this quarantine.

  70. bcb

    Whoa, I was not expecting Dawson to reappear.

    1. thejeff

      I was kind of expecting to see him sooner, but had written him off since he hadn’t been seen yet.
      Wonder if the other bros are involved.

  71. Rabisch

    GO JOYCE GO!!!!!

  72. motorfirebox

    The takeaway here is that Dotty was gnawing at Joyce’s legs.

    1. Bagge

      Given Joyce’s usual luck, I assume it was Walky

  73. Willoughby Chase

    14/10 would kick in the nuts again

  74. Suet

    Dawson’s *CRICK*

  75. Jhon

    The idiot walks up behind her and announces himself.
    Yep, deserves to be removed from the gene pool.

  76. ziggy78eog

    Because throwing scissors was not dangerous enough.

  77. Cmd1095

    ahahaha yessss Joyce, let the rage flow through you, and sterilize the dudebros

  78. Juanoku

    Joyce went sicko mode

  79. Sirksome

    Here’s a question. Now that it’s established this is in fact a house and not some storage facility or abandoned factory or whatever. Whose house is this? If they were smart they’d break in to some unsold show property or something but I think it’s clear they are not smart so I wouldn’t put it past Blaine to take them to his house and Faz is like right upstairs.

    1. PB

      Huh. I wonder how he’d react to this.

    2. thejeff

      It’s got to be close by and Blaine doesn’t live in the area.

    3. Needfuldoer

      Maybe it’s a house Blaine’s company is renovating? He’d have access, the power is on, and there’s a plausible reason for his vans to be in the driveway.

  80. PB

    Man. I felt such a surge of pride for Joyce in that last panel. <3

  81. Alan In DC

    What’s the sound effect partly obscured in Panel #6?

    I kinda want to read it as “NADS”, which would not only be accurate, but freekin’ hilarious at the same time.

    1. emeraldbeacon

      Check the comic’s alt-text. 😉

      1. Alan in DC

        Sonofabongo… NOW it works. Time to update my browser.

  82. Rikunda

    Dorothy… Your death flag is SO high right now…

  83. Needfuldoer

    I’m worried about how well this is going in comparison to how much time is left in the arc. It feels like there’s another shoe waiting to drop…

    1. King Daniel

      Indeed. We still have over eight weeks left.

      1. Needfuldoer

        I knew it…

  84. The Aussie Bloke

    I haven’t cringed so hard at a nutshot since Sydney crushed a dude’s balls between her balls.

  85. Formerly Glenn

    Joyce should take up Muay Thai. Or maybe Judo. Or maybe both.

  86. TheDOCTOR

    Joyce…I Love you. She’s a Nutcracker Sweet. Aw that’s Okay Joyce that guy probably didn’t want kids anyway.

  87. rayrayravona

    How did Dorothy know the phone was on the counter upstairs? I guess I’m confused on the layout here.

  88. BrokenEye, the True False Prophet

    Peen Boy, I presume?

  89. Treita

    That last panel is my favorite part of this escape so far.
    Don’t know if you can top it, he sure won’t be topping anything for a while.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

*

*

*

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.